- 2 days ago
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00:01on the dukes the jewel thieves the duke boys do they look anything alike why are the boys
00:07being accused of being part of the gang guilty we ain't really acquainted with them people they
00:13pulled a gun on us cousin boss said you boys are part of that jewel robbery shame on you
00:17don't know no way for you boys to get out of this thing
00:34just a good old boy never mean it no harm
00:42beats all you've never saw been in trouble with the law since the day they was born
00:48straightening the curves flattening the hills
00:56someday the mountain might get them but the law never will
01:01making their way the only way they know how
01:08that's just a little bit more than the law will allow
01:13just a good old boy wouldn't change if they could
01:21fighting the system like a two modern day robin hood
01:35well it must be sanity in hazard county the duke boys are going fishing
01:39and daisy's on her way to visit aunt kate for a couple of days
01:43and uncle jesse well he's just out for a ride
01:48hey look who we caught up with that's uncle jesse
01:52shepherd this here's two lost sheep you got your ears on because we're coming right on through
01:57got us a dated old farm late to go fishing now get out of the way uncle jesse
02:00did you two finish the chores before you left the house
02:03oh yes sir yes sir we did
02:05and another thing too uh daisy called from over to aunt kate's to sit aunt kate's back on her feet
02:10from her miseries and daisy ought to be home by monday
02:12oh well that's good that's good which reminds me since daisy ain't here
02:16uh i take it that meant you did the laundry and made up the beds is that right
02:21yes sir we did now you better get out of the way because we're coming through
02:24well i'll tell you what you're not coming through unless i want you to
02:28i'll tell you what you do you'll just take your best shot
02:33that we will
02:44he's pretty good
02:56well it looks like uncle jesse ain't lost his touch
03:00that'll teach you to mess with one of the best bridge runners in hazard county
03:05we should have showed him
03:12he ain't bad
03:14let's get back on the road
03:32two dollars worth of gas
03:34that ought to get you about halfway to the corner
03:37y'all see that car coming in back there
03:39watch
03:42i can't believe this honey it's probably just a fan belt
03:46we'll be out of this tank town in no time you just try and stay cool you hear
03:51when i'm sitting with two hundred thousand dollars worth of hot jewelry in my lap i find
03:55it very hard to be cool bird
03:57tank town
03:58friends don't it make you kind of feel sorry for folks that come into hazard thinking
04:02that they're just like any other place
04:08hey what about here
04:13run a little hot on you ain't you
04:14no we're just having a barbecue
04:17well what i think she means to say is we got a little fan belt trouble here
04:25yeah i believe you're right
04:28tell you what
04:30why don't y'all run over to ain't bernice's cafe
04:32over there on the square get yourself some coffee something to eat
04:36i have this thing fixed for you in no time
04:38well thank you
04:39sounds like a real good idea
04:43thank you
04:46hey why don't you try the meat load
04:48you will
04:51hey hey hey hey hey hey hey
04:52this meeting of the hazard county council board of directors is now in session
04:57now i move that we dispense with the reading of the minutes of the last meeting
05:02dispense with the approval of said minutes and dispense with this meeting's old business
05:07all in favor say aye
05:08aye
05:09aye
05:10unanimous
05:11which brings us to new business
05:13and
05:14this here lid just shows me that there's no business in new business
05:19especially in parking tickets speeding tickets and every other kind of ticket
05:24uh but boss you can't force people to break the law
05:26oh true enough
05:28but
05:28we gotta get ourselves some new laws they don't know about
05:32oh
05:32and then there's always some old old laws that they forgot about
05:36oh
05:36and you can just start by
05:38taking in that illegal stashy car parked out there in your sport
05:42oh
05:42that car is not parked illegal well say that's my car
05:45that's my
05:46my new second hand used car
05:48it
05:48well how'd you buy yourself a new second hand used car on what i pay you
05:52oh i save my nickels
05:53we save your nickels
05:54and dives
05:54and dives
05:55nickels and dives
05:56oh i suppose that's how you got yourself that new gold wash too
06:00well it isn't all gold there's a lot of zinc in there
06:02oh zinc
06:03looks like gold
06:03yeah it looks like gold
06:04yeah but you see it works good it it tells the time of day and uh the month
06:08and it plays a little tune and wakes you up
06:10hmm
06:11you know what tune
06:11oh i can't imagine
06:12well wanna guess
06:14it's called georgia on my mind
06:16yeah
06:16well i'll tell you what's on my mind
06:18right here in this ledger
06:20looky there
06:20yeah
06:20i mean
06:21all them collect calls have been made to you from someone in nesville
06:25oh
06:25oh
06:26well that's my aunt emma
06:27and uncle wilbur
06:28uh
06:28they're poor
06:29i have to send them a little money just once in a while
06:31you know the money that i save
06:33yeah
06:33you mean the money that you save that on those calls that i pay for
06:36no
06:37no it's exactly
06:37roscoe i'm warning you
06:38you and cletus had better stop bringing me in some ticket money
06:41or else that wants you is gonna start waking you up to the tune of
06:45brother can you spare a dime
06:46now get i'm gone
06:49so roscoe sent cletus fishing too
06:52to see if he could snag some new business for the boss
06:54i'll tell you luke old billy burgett sure was right about this place
06:58how's that
06:59we ain't never caught this many fish before it wasn't sitting
07:02all right
07:03i just wish old flash was here with us so
07:06how come
07:08that way we'd have catfish and hush puppies
07:10you'd do a mite better if you talked a little less and fish a little more
07:23hi
07:26cletus will you shut up
07:28shh
07:28sorry i mean hi
07:30i hate to bother you fellas but can i see your fishing license please
07:35i know it's a bother but it is the law
07:37it's a law
07:39there you go
07:44uh oh
07:45i don't know how to tell y'all this but uh these aren't any good anymore
07:48i have to give y'all both a ticket
07:49what are you talking about them licenses practically mean
07:52we got them two months ago
07:53well the law says that you have to have a brand new fishing license
07:56the law says you have to have a brand new fishing license
08:01every week
08:02it's a new law the sheriff passed oh about twenty minutes ago
08:05how are we supposed to know about a law that's only been passed twenty minutes ago
08:08i don't know
08:09the sheriff said to tell everybody that um
08:11ignorance of the law
08:12uh
08:14uh
08:14something i've forgotten
08:16number one we ain't ignorant
08:17and two this is one law we're gonna fight
08:21come on
08:22can i take my fish
08:23yes but i take your pole
08:24be careful it's a brand new rig
08:27it's a really fine mess you got us into
08:31myrna honey would you just please cool down
08:33we got the jewels
08:35the law don't even know where we at
08:37we in this little town here
08:39it's nice and it's quiet
08:41and ain't nothing for you to worry your little heart out over
08:43so just take it easy
08:44besides that honey
08:46there's just one little bitty thing
08:51i love you
08:53that's it
09:13that's a no no see that's naughty naughty you can't osculate
09:16see in this book of uh regulations two two three six it's definitely states that you cannot osculate within twenty
09:23yards of a public thing
09:25and you certainly are still eating the vibe ever since
09:27hold this with you i gotta write out your ticket here
09:29look put your hands down lady you know it's not as if you robbed a bank or anything
09:35it's gonna cost you twenty dollars
09:36uh
09:38a piece
09:39and you're gonna have to come over in person and pay it at the jail
09:42uh jail
09:43uh we'll be happy to pay that fine officer
09:46you will
09:46yeah
09:47oh well
09:48you wanna come on
09:49i just
09:51i just
09:52i just
09:52i just
09:52make that stupid fine as soon as we get out of this town
09:54and we've got to be absolutely out of our minds to walk into a police station with the jewels on
09:59us
10:00we're not going to
10:01uh
10:01oh see you have to come with me see it's over here
10:04yes
10:04come on
10:05let's go just
10:06see osculating in itself ain't bad i've done that myself but not even company
10:09oh look at these pretty flowers
10:11oh bird honey aren't they just precious
10:15oh
10:17yeah
10:17oh yeah the lady's auxiliary
10:19easy to lady lady
10:21see
10:21you done messed up again
10:23that's a naughty naughty
10:24see that's a no no
10:24you can't
10:25you can't pick a hazard county flower
10:27like that
10:27do you
10:28that'll be another uh
10:29twenty dollars
10:31twenty dollars
10:31ten
10:32it's worth it sheriff
10:33oh well
10:34if i may have that please
10:36in bed then
10:38if you will just
10:39go this way please
10:45meanwhile
10:46bo and luke was still fuming about that ticket that cletus gave them
10:49why are we taking a shortcut anyway
10:52i figure i best get the rides before he makes the log into taking shortcuts
10:59one thing i hate is somebody who drives dang near as good as me
11:08the next thing boston lab will do is make a law against uh i don't know the color of your
11:13hair
11:15i ain't so much color of hair as people got here
11:17get him all odd and bothered
11:20oh sure how much do you say that be
11:21now you know it's twenty dollars twenty dollars apiece for oscillating
11:25ten dollars for the flowers
11:26gonna make you out of receipt here
11:28i have to do it in duplicate here
11:30i have to keep the record straight
11:36oh flash
11:37now listen darling if you have to go out you have to go out by yourself now you're a big
11:41girl now
11:56i can't believe this
11:58this is a new
11:59i'm gonna have to give you a boy a ticket
12:05hey flash
12:06hello flash
12:07i believe that's the first time i've seen her on her feet
12:13roscoe
12:14roscoe
12:15you'll need a receipt too won't you
12:16roscoe we'd like to talk to you about this here ticket cletus gave us
12:19we ain't gonna pay it
12:20were you two hush
12:21can't you just see that i am busy taking money from these nice tourists
12:25taking money from the tourists
12:28roscoe you're always collecting money from nice folks
12:30what'd y'all do
12:30oh i was just uh kissing my wife
12:33kissed your wife
12:37i'll need your social security numbers now
12:39for just a ticket
12:41sheriff i don't think we're gonna need any receipt
12:43thank you
12:43will you please hurry
12:45we don't have all day
12:46well isn't that a shame because i have
12:49see now why don't you two just skedaddle out of here
12:52because after i'm finished with these nice people
12:54well then i'm gonna go down and have myself some lunch
12:57and i certainly am not gonna talk to you about anything till after then
13:00now just get
13:01thanks a lot
13:02we'll talk to you later
13:03y'all have a nice stay
13:05thank you
13:06well well well and well roscoe
13:09what have we here
13:10oh uh boss what we have here is a violation of code 2234
13:14oh oscar leading in public
13:17mm-hmm that's bad
13:19actually it's good
13:20hmm
13:21i collected the fine
13:22yep
13:24well must be forty simoleons here huh
13:26twenty dollar fine each
13:28no wrong wrong wrong actually there's fifty there
13:30see also
13:31how do you figure
13:31i caught them uh picking uh pansy
13:34what picking flowers where'd they do that
13:36out front
13:36you're picking my pansy huh
13:38well i see you got that flower's evidence
13:41all law enforcement agencies
13:43we have an apb out of nashville
13:45jewel robbery
13:46suspects believed to be bert and myrna roby
13:49and headed through the southern counties
13:50known to be dangerous and armed
13:53you know roscoe there must be a big reward out for them jewels
13:56so i want you and clearest to keep a special lookout for that roby gang
13:59well listen boss you don't have to worry about a thing because
14:03if that roby gang even gets halfway near hazard county i'll be on them like a duck on a june
14:08bus
14:08yeah you do that
14:09here you are young lady here's your receipt
14:12and uh here is your social security card back
14:15mister roby
14:16hey
14:17roby
14:18down on the floor puppy
14:19come on
14:20on the floor puppy
14:21get down behind the floor
14:23i don't want you to move until you count to a hundred
14:25now count
14:26i'll count
14:27jewels
14:31oh now you fool later
14:33six
14:34seven
14:35ten
14:35i don't want you to know
14:36let him get away
14:37come on
14:38let's go out
14:39come on
14:42come on
14:42you boys got your staffs and comfort
14:46come on
14:46what's going brad
14:48get off
14:49get off
14:49get off
14:50get off
14:50get off
14:51get off
14:51get off
14:52get off
14:53get off
14:56get off
14:57get off
14:59get off
15:00get off
15:04get off
15:22get off
15:25Yes, ma'am.
15:32Get away till the dead skin gets out of the way!
15:36Okay, get this thing going!
16:13I can't find the cage.
16:14Well, I know where they are.
16:15Where?
16:16They're in your head, right there.
16:17Whoa, you don't know! Come on!
16:20It ain't fit!
16:21Yeah, that's good you got it in the wrong way!
16:22Move!
16:23I'm drunk, you're what do you call me sick?
16:25What is the matter with you?
16:26It ain't starting it.
16:28Don't you stick your tongue out at me, you dog!
16:31Well, she's not sticking her tongue out.
16:33You know what that is, don't you?
16:34That's a little red velvet bag of... jewels.
16:38That must be the... the... the... Rowby gang's jewels.
16:44They found the jury!
16:46So you couldn't find your key, huh?
16:47Oh, uh-huh, no.
16:48You couldn't fit your key in a little hole?
16:50No, it was too...
16:51Uh-huh.
16:52And you bought yourself a new car and a new watch
16:53with all them nickels and dimes you were saving, is that it?
16:56Uh, listen, boss, why are you looking at me
16:57with those beady little eyes like that?
16:59What are you thinking?
17:00Oh, I ain't thinking nothing!
17:00I know something!
17:01What?
17:02Them collicoes you was getting from Nashville
17:04from your aunt and your uncle?
17:05Yeah.
17:05They were from the Rowby gang, weren't they?
17:07No!
17:07On the corner!
17:08You're in this with them and with the Duke boys!
17:10No, no, listen, I don't know what you're thinking!
17:12I... I am innocent!
17:13You know what really cuts me to the quick?
17:16What?
17:16That you, my brother-in-law,
17:18found yourself a sweet little deal like this,
17:20and you didn't cut me in for one little itty-bitty percent!
17:24No, no!
17:25You know what that means?
17:26No!
17:26I call it mutiny!
17:27That's right!
17:28Treason!
17:29Misloyalty!
17:29And what's more?
17:30Disaffection!
17:36Hey, Claytus, this here is Luke.
17:38Uh, we ain't really acquainted with them people.
17:40They pulled a gun on us.
17:41Now, what's this all about?
17:42Cousin Boss said you boys are part of that jewel robbery.
17:45Shame on you.
17:46You know better than that.
17:47Now, pull over!
17:54Boss, listen.
17:55Now, I swear that I didn't have anything to do with those jewel thieves.
17:59Oh, yeah?
17:59Then how did these here jewels get in your car?
18:02Well, they...
18:03I don't know.
18:05Uh...
18:06Flash, tell your daddy where you got that bag of jewels.
18:09I'll take away your dog biscuits.
18:10Don't, don't, don't, don't say another word.
18:13I've seen and heard enough.
18:15You really let me down this time, didn't you?
18:18How?
18:19There's only one thing left for me to do.
18:21What?
18:22For I put these jewels away for safe keeping.
18:25And that is to officially drum you out as Hazard County Sheriff.
18:31Oh, you wouldn't.
18:32You would.
18:34Hey, babe, we've had it.
18:35Let's get the car and blow out of this place.
18:36Come on.
18:37Oh, we're gonna get the car all right, but we ain't going nowhere except where that fat little man and
18:41our jewelry is going.
18:42But, Myrna...
18:43Shut up, Bert.
18:45It is our jewelry and we are taking it back.
18:48Now, come on.
18:54You know us better than that.
18:56Now, can't we just talk this over?
18:58Well, we can talk it over just as soon as you pull over and let me take you and my
19:01cousin boss said for me to do.
19:02Sorry, Cletus.
19:02Ain't no way.
19:04We'll see you later.
19:05Ain't no hard feelings, all right?
19:06Oh, darn it.
19:08Oh, good, Aubrey.
19:09Then better off staying fishing.
19:11Hang on, cousin.
19:12This is where we're gonna lose you.
19:22Now, don't y'all be surprised, but sometimes rabbits and Hazard will turn on the dogs that's chasing them.
19:27They got some mean rabbits and Hazard.
19:36Hang on.
19:47Oh, I'm okay.
19:49We catch up with them two people that got us into this mess.
19:52I want the girl.
19:53What could you possibly like about a girl who weighs a gun at your head?
19:56I didn't say I liked her.
19:57I just want to get her across my knee so I can...
20:01Eh, you know what I mean.
20:06Being in trouble when it ain't their fault ain't nothing compared to having to face old Uncle Jesse with it.
20:10Uncle Jesse, we were just the victims of circumstances, that's all.
20:14I don't know what's getting into you boys.
20:16One minute you're catfishing and the next minute you're up the creek with them.
20:19Now, what's happening?
20:20We're sorry.
20:21Oh, don't be sorry.
20:23I just get loud and nasty when I get to worrying about you boys.
20:28Uh, listen, where do you want me to meet you?
20:31Uncle Jesse, there's a place where me and Luke used to play hooky from school.
20:34I'll tell you where it is.
20:35You don't need to do that.
20:37You boys didn't make a move that I didn't know where you was.
20:40Because that'd be the old Okamaga Indian Caves.
20:42I'll meet you there.
20:44You know.
20:46It makes me wonder sometimes.
20:50Now, boss, I'm innocent.
20:51It was the Duke boys that sat in that Rowey gang.
20:55Now, hand over your gun, Mr. Coltrade.
20:58But I thought I was your buddy, remember?
21:00Oh, I remember.
21:02Hand over your gun, buddy.
21:03Everybody's innocent until they're proven guilty.
21:05I want a trial.
21:06A trial?
21:06Good.
21:07All right.
21:07You want a trial?
21:08You got it.
21:08Clean a swear in the witness.
21:09Raise your hand.
21:10You swear to tell the truth nothing but the truth?
21:11I do.
21:12He does.
21:13Come to order.
21:14This court is now in session.
21:16The first witness is the defendant, Mr. Roscoe P. Coltrane.
21:19Mr. Coltrane, where did we find the stolen Jews?
21:22Well, in my car.
21:23Guilty!
21:24Case closed.
21:25Listen, I want to take this to a higher court.
21:28Then get yourself a ladder.
21:29Now, hand over your gun.
21:31I have the right to remain silent.
21:32Then shut up and hand over your gun!
21:36All right.
21:38Traitor.
21:39Cletus!
21:39Sir, step forward.
21:41I hereby appoint you the new sheriff for Hazard County.
21:45Huh?
21:45Buzz is a little buzz, sir.
21:46And your first job is going to help me escort these Jews to the boys' list for safe keeping.
21:51Oh, Sheriff.
21:53I mean, Roscoe.
21:57I never wanted to be sheriff like this.
22:00Oh, it's, uh...
22:01It's all right, Cletus.
22:04You'll make a fine, Sheriff.
22:05I hope so.
22:07I'd be much obliged if I could ask your advice from time to time.
22:10Anytime you want.
22:11In fact, I've got two pieces of advice for you right now.
22:15One, never ask for a raise.
22:18And two, be proud of your job.
22:23Yes, sir.
22:31Well, Flash, I guess we're civilians again.
22:35I guess we'll have to go get those Dukes and bring them back and make them talk and prove that
22:40we're innocent.
22:42Let's just go get those Dukes boys.
22:44Come on.
22:46Yes.
22:48Well, now, it's the sheriff.
22:59Well, Flash, this is embarrassing, isn't it?
23:01What happened to him?
23:03Who cares?
23:04It's that fat little marshmallow with our jewelry we want.
23:09We are gonna get him.
23:10Out at the old Okamulga Indian Caves, the Dukes was mulling over the best way for Bo and Luke to
23:14prove that they didn't have anything to do with that jewelry heist.
23:17Sir, I just don't know no way for you boys to get out of this thing.
23:22Well, Uncle Jesse, we didn't have nothing to do with them jewel thieves.
23:24Well, I know that, Bo, but they're probably long gone out of the country by now.
23:30And without them around, there ain't no way you boys is gonna be able to prove you didn't have nothing
23:35to do with it.
23:35I'd sure hate to believe you is right, Uncle Jesse.
23:38I guess Luke and me is just in the wrong place at the wrong time again is all.
23:41That's right.
23:42You were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
23:45Now you all just stay right there.
23:47See, you didn't think I knew about this hiding place, did you?
23:50Well, I used to come here when I played hooky from school, too.
23:53Oscar, what in the world happened? What are you doing out of uniform?
23:56Never you mind about my uniform.
23:58Flash and me were traveling incognito.
24:01And I'm gonna take these boys back and talk to boss so they can explain to him that I didn't
24:05have anything to do with that jewel gang.
24:07You mean he thinks you're involved?
24:09Oh, yeah, yeah.
24:09He fired you, didn't he?
24:10Yeah, well, just, uh...
24:12Well, that's a mighty low thing to do, especially to his own dang brother-in-law.
24:15Will you hush?
24:16You see, the boss, he found the jewel bag in my car.
24:20And, well, I would have fired me, too.
24:25Roscoe, do you mean to tell me that you still stick up for J.D.?
24:30Jesse, don't you understand?
24:31He's gonna apologize to Flash and me just as soon as I take the boys back and they tell the
24:36truth.
24:36But, Roscoe, the truth is we're innocent, just like we believe you are.
24:40Roscoe, just this once, why don't you and the boys work together and prove that none of you have anything
24:46to do with this jewel thievery?
24:48Yeah, we're willing if you are.
24:49No, no, you don't.
24:51You're not gonna snooker me into that buddy-buddy stuff.
24:54Now, come on, boys.
24:55Now, I mean it.
24:55Uncle Jesse, the, uh, the man just ain't listening.
24:58Roscoe, now, now, now, we're sorry that, uh, you're not in your uniform anymore and that you're not the sheriff
25:05no more.
25:05Yeah, uh, but seeing as how you ain't the sheriff.
25:09What?
25:10You just got no right at all to take bold and look any worse.
25:13Wrong, wrong, wrong.
25:14Listen, I can make a citizen's arrest and that's exactly what I'm gonna do and that's legal.
25:18And if you don't believe that, then maybe you'll believe this.
25:22Now, come on.
25:24Now, I'm serious.
25:25Now, come on.
25:25Go for it, boys.
25:27Go!
25:38No, that makes some bet.
25:39Over there, you're no Ú©Ú†ou.
25:40There yeah, he'll go.
25:41Oh, oh, thank you.
25:43Freeze!
25:46Is that the way they went hacia you?
25:49That's a good girl.
25:51Attack you show no mercy!
25:53Ain't nothin' to attack this.
25:55They're gone.
25:56Oh, I didn't mean to scuff you.
26:03Boss Hogg, this is Sheriff Roscoe P.
26:06This is Citizen.
26:08Roscoe P. Coltrane calling Boss Hogg.
26:11You got your ears on?
26:12Listen, boss, I'm in hot pursuit of the Duke boys on Route 36.
26:16I need help. It's cleaves around there. Come on.
26:20Mr. Coltrane, this is Mr. Hogg, Speaker.
26:23Now, you can just stop that song and dance about chasing your own thieving confederates,
26:26because I ain't buying.
26:28And I ain't sending my Sheriff out, I don't know why Goose G's neither.
26:32Over and out.
26:33Hey!
26:34Come on, Sheriff.
26:35Flash, I guess we'll have to do it ourselves.
26:38That little fat metal muffin ain't listening to us.
26:52Remember, neighbors, in Hazard, just about the time things really get bad,
26:56they usually turn for the worst.
27:06Got one of them rocks, Luke.
27:07Come on, yah!
27:08Come on, man.
27:08Come on, man!
27:10Look at them.
27:18Come on, man!
27:19Come on, boy!
27:20Come on.
27:20Come on, boy, you look!
27:26Come on.
27:28Now what did I tell ya'?
27:44Oh, what a horrendous near miss that was.
27:47I just, you all right, Flash?
27:52Roscoe looks all right, but his car's going to need a little bit of Cooter's TLC.
27:57Oh, geez, he finally knows what it's like to be accused of something he didn't do.
28:01Looks like the only way we're going to be able to clear ourselves is to clear him, too.
28:04The dang fool has just let us do it.
28:07Hold on.
28:08Didn't he say that Boss has the jewels?
28:10Yeah, why?
28:12I got a pretty good feeling them thieves ain't going to run out of town without trying to get them
28:15back.
28:16From Boss Hogg.
28:17Absolutely.
28:18Let's head on back.
28:27Meanwhile, Boss, with Cooter's riding shotgun, headed out to the boar's nest with the jewelry.
28:34All right, Bert, stay close.
28:35Not too close.
28:36Yes, ma'am.
28:44You see what I see coming?
28:45Head for the boar's nest.
28:50From now on, we don't let Boss out of our sight.
28:55Okay.
28:59Son of a gun.
29:00It looks like that sweet little couple's up the same thing.
29:03Hmm.
29:03I just wish I'd get my hands on them and ring the truth out of them, you know it?
29:07They wouldn't hold up in court.
29:09Why don't we let them make their own move on, Boss?
29:13What, and let them take the jewels?
29:14It'll only be temporary.
29:16When we get them, we get the jewels, the evidence.
29:19Boss has got to let us go.
29:20Roscoe, too.
29:21Hey, what if it don't work?
29:24We put in to be roommates at the state pen.
29:32While the boys drive overland to the boar's nest, where, at that very moment,
29:35Roscoe had to face everybody for the first time as a civilian.
29:39And he felt plum naked.
29:45Right here.
29:50Roscoe, I just want to tell you again how sorry I am you ain't sheriff no more.
29:56Well, that's thanks to your boys, Jesse.
29:59They offered to help you.
30:01You'd have no part of it.
30:04You didn't want any of that buddy-buddy stuff you said.
30:10Oh, hush, you old goat.
30:12I'm not going to buy any of that sucker-tash.
30:14I'm not asking for any of you Dukes to feel sorry for me.
30:18Roscoe, even the Davenportes feel sorry for you.
30:21Well, if you feel so sorry for me, tell me where Bo and Luke Duke is.
30:25We ain't that sorry.
30:35Here they come.
30:48Very secure, Cousin Boss, sir.
30:49All right, let me out.
30:50Let me out.
30:50Come on.
30:55Listen, no, Manny, honey.
30:57Would you fetch me a real cold ginger beer?
30:59I'd appreciate it.
31:00Can't do it, Roscoe.
31:02Oh, why not?
31:03Boss Hogg said you weren't to be served.
31:05He said that about me?
31:06I'm real sorry.
31:08Well, everybody stop feeling sorry for me.
31:10Just bring me a drink of water.
31:13And would you bring one for flash, too, please?
31:15Boss Hogg said not even water.
31:18Well, he certainly doesn't mind if we just sit here, does he?
31:21Well, as a matter of fact...
31:23We're gone.
31:29Have mine.
31:30No, I don't want that slop.
31:32He's probably flattered yesterday's frisbee anyway.
31:35Well, if that's the way you feel.
31:37Ooh, ooh, ooh.
31:38It's terrible, isn't it?
31:40Just terrible.
31:42Yeah, yeah, it's just terrible.
31:45Yeah, well, I knew it.
31:46It's slop.
31:47Hey.
31:49Gonna have to see what we can do about them.
32:09Yes, sir, Reebok, Cletus.
32:12Yes, sir.
32:14Yes, sir.
32:14Yes, sir.
32:14Yes, sir.
32:19Yes, sir.
32:20Yes, sir.
32:21Hand over them jewels.
32:23What jewels?
32:24The ones under your little fat belly.
32:27Is there a very high...
32:45Yes, sir.
32:47His fire.
32:48Yes.
32:48Yes, sir.
32:57Y'all ought to see them boys play pinball.
33:08Down on the floor, both of you, face down.
33:10Yeah, but honey, I just saved this suit clean
33:13from the last time you did this to me.
33:15Down.
33:15Yeah, sure.
33:18You both count to 100 before you start to move, you hear?
33:21Because we might be right behind you.
33:24Count.
33:25Yeah, all right, all right.
33:27One, two, three, four, five.
33:37You idiot.
33:39Now, wait a minute, honey.
33:40This ain't my fault.
33:42What do we do?
33:44Borrow another one.
33:4610, 15, 20, 30, 50, 80, 100.
33:50Cletus!
33:50You only a ninth?
33:52Yeah, well, I'm done.
33:53Well, that's cheating, not to mention dangerous.
33:54Well, we're going to leave, Flash and I.
33:57We're going to just get on out of here.
33:58We haven't got time to sit around and lollygag and drink that slop,
34:01and we're going to snip those dupe boys out.
34:05We'll snip them, all right?
34:06Come on.
34:11Come on.
34:12Come on, hurry up.
34:17You get heavier every minute of your life.
34:21I do believe, Flash.
34:23You rascal.
34:24Will you shut up and let's go get them jewels?
34:27Well...
34:32Roscoe.
34:33Howdy, Sheriff.
34:34Good morning.
34:35Oh, did that...
34:36Gideon.
34:37Did it?
34:37Oh, listen.
34:38That's a pistol.
34:40Listen.
34:41Just shut up.
34:42He drives.
34:42Can I take you someplace?
34:45You got Roscoe.
34:50Let's get them off.
34:53Let's get them off.
35:21Hey!
35:23All right, hold that, hold it.
35:25Yeah!
35:29All right, now go over that way!
35:33Look out, that's Cleetis driving.
35:46Now, friends, those are three determined people.
35:54I'm going to take you.
36:00All right.
36:03Well, he's on my left.
36:05Come on.
36:07Move it, move it.
36:08Come on, come on.
36:09Come on.
36:11Come on.
36:15Oh, look what he said to you.
36:17I can't believe it, you electric!
36:19Now I'm flunking down who's chasing who.
36:25Well, that's better.
36:27Let that board get any closer.
36:29You and your dog just seen your last date, you hear?
36:39Better step on it, Sheriff.
36:50How come Roscoe never drives that good when he's chasing us?
36:53I guess you always drive better when you're being chased.
36:55I guess.
36:57Hey, I got an idea.
36:58And the idea was Uncle Jesse.
37:00He was just heading back home.
37:02Shepard, this here is lost sheep.
37:03You read me?
37:04What's your 20?
37:05I'm just going by the old car place.
37:07All right.
37:08Here's the plan.
37:10After telling Jesse about Roscoe's trouble,
37:12old Luke figured that he'd put an extra rut in the road
37:14by having Jesse set up a roadblock.
37:27She wouldn't.
37:28She would.
37:31Is that any way to treat your fellow criminals?
37:33They ain't no friends of ours.
37:35They ain't.
37:36Well, they ain't good.
37:38Then they must be mine.
37:41We're on the road.
37:42I'm trying.
37:43Lady, if you'll stop shooting me, I'll tell you what I'll do.
37:46I'll take you someplace where nobody will be able to find you
37:48if you'll just stop shooting.
37:49Hey, what about them?
37:51Well, listen, they're good old boys.
37:53I think I can talk some sense into them if you'll let me use this CB.
37:57You better start squawking now, Sheriff.
37:58You better make good.
37:59Um, I will.
38:01Uh, uh, Bo, Luke, uh, this is Sheriff, uh, this is Roscoe.
38:05You got your ears on?
38:06Come on.
38:06Luke here, Roscoe.
38:07Are you all right?
38:08Never mind me.
38:09Listen, back off, boys.
38:10You couldn't get yourself shot.
38:11Look, we're gonna take our chance.
38:13Do you hang in there, Roscoe?
38:14Listen, now, don't give me a hard time, boys.
38:16Now, I mean this, and that's an order, even if I'm not sheriff anymore.
38:19Now, back off.
38:20We can't leave you.
38:21Sorry, Roscoe.
38:22Uncle Jesse taught them that.
38:24You gotta make some tough decisions once in a while.
38:27It ain't easy being a dude.
38:29Well, it ain't no skin off my posterior.
38:31Go ahead and shoot, lady.
38:33Let them have it, honey.
38:41All right.
38:58Hold it right there.
38:59Get out.
39:00Get out of there.
39:03All right.
39:04Come on around.
39:05Put your hand right there.
39:06Come on.
39:07Come on.
39:07All right.
39:08Good job, Roscoe.
39:10All right.
39:11All right, Roscoe.
39:12I did good.
39:13We couldn't have done it better ourselves.
39:15Hey, the jewels.
39:16Where's the jewels?
39:17Oh, right here.
39:17Right here.
39:18Little flash.
39:19Oh, I did.
39:20Alert.
39:20Ever alert.
39:22You're going to be a real hero in boss's eyes now.
39:25Listen, boys.
39:26Now, I'm terribly sorry.
39:29Now, I know you're innocent.
39:30And, well, I just don't know how to say I'm sorry.
39:33Roscoe, would you forget it?
39:34You got anything to say, say it to boss when he pins that nice shiny badge back on your jacket
39:38for giving him these.
39:39Oh, yeah, he will, Monty.
39:41He could just.
39:41Ain't no way he can claim that we was part of that gang now.
39:44Can't think again.
39:45All of you.
39:46You take us in, you're all going right down with us.
39:49There ain't no way you can make him do that, lady.
39:50If you don't let us go, we're going to tell the whole world that you and these country
39:55boys here, we're in on everything with us.
39:57Are you kidding, lady?
39:58You just hush.
40:00Ain't nobody going to listen to that titivating drivel.
40:02Except boss hog.
40:03Except boss hog.
40:05Good.
40:06Yeah, especially the part about me and Luke.
40:08Yeah.
40:09Lady, you can tell the whole world exactly what you want.
40:11We're just going to have to take that chance.
40:14Come on, boys.
40:15You better call in.
40:16Call in?
40:17Yes, call in.
40:18Wait a minute.
40:19Watch out.
40:20Don't you hold.
40:21Right there.
40:22Don't you hold.
40:23You sure about this, Luke?
40:24Yeah.
40:25Roscoe.
40:26Now, Luke's plan had four things wrong with it.
40:28One, it was hard.
40:29Two, it was dangerous.
40:31And three, it had no guarantee.
40:32I love it.
40:33And four, Roscoe liked it.
40:36Uncle Jesse, you got your ears on?
40:37Listen up.
40:38Get everybody in town to turn their CVs on and keep the channel open.
40:41They might hear something interesting.
40:43I read you loud and clear, Luke.
40:45I'll get on it right away now.
40:46You two be careful, you hear?
40:48All right, you two, get over here.
40:49Get over here.
40:51Get over here.
40:52Now, you okay?
40:53If they give you any trouble, cup them and stuff them.
40:55I'm on my way back to get these jewels to the boss.
40:58Roscoe was to return to boss, taking the jewelry with him.
41:00While, Bo and Luke took them robies along with them.
41:03Get the car, or we're going to have to stuff you in.
41:08Not before contacting Uncle Jesse, filling him in on what he's supposed to do.
41:12Town of hazard, town of hazard, this is Jesse Duke.
41:15You got your ears on out there, I want to talk to you.
41:17And those of you that got your ears on, go tell your neighbors.
41:20I want to talk to them, too.
41:21I got something to tell all of you.
41:35Yeah, that's right, Amos.
41:36Everybody you can reach.
41:37Tell them channel 22.
41:40Thanks, Amos.
41:45I ain't going to mess with it, Flash.
41:46I'm going to walk right into boss's office and I say,
41:50All right, boss.
41:51Here's every little teeny little piece of jewelry.
41:54Do you think I...
42:01Cletus, you're a real lug nut, you know that?
42:04You took your car and you almost made me destroy mine now.
42:07All right, boss.
42:09Here is every teeny tiny little bitty piece of jewelry that that crooked couple stole in Nashville.
42:15Give me that.
42:16Well, now then, listen, I'm not asking for any reward money.
42:19But I am asking for my job back and I do get that back.
42:22Right?
42:23Wrong.
42:23Wrong?
42:24Right.
42:24Oh.
42:25Hey, I see your game.
42:26See, right through you.
42:28First you double-crossed me.
42:29And now, you're double-crossing your own confiders in crime, namely the Duke boys, to gain my favor.
42:36Well, it ain't going to work, Mr. Coltrane.
42:38Cletus, escort this civilian to the hoose cow.
42:42And his dog, Duke.
42:43Well, get out, Will.
42:44Cletus, take your clammy cabbage collectors off of me.
42:46They're not...
42:48Well, you just hush.
42:50See, the Duke family told me you wouldn't listen to us.
42:52Bo and Luke Duke is your sheriff, Roscoe P. Coltrane.
42:56We're ready on this end with you, Mark.
42:58We're ready here, Roscoe.
42:59Uncle Jesse?
43:00The whole town is ready and waiting, Luke.
43:03Let it go.
43:04Anytime you're ready, cousin.
43:22What are you trying to do, kill us?
43:26This here, a picturesque spot, used to be old ridge around the road.
43:42What are you trying to do, kill us?
43:46Well, who wouldn't do that for?
43:48Dude, you got hurt.
43:48There wouldn't be nobody to tell the people the truth, would there?
43:51Like everybody knows, it was y'all that stole them Nashville jewels.
43:54Well, that ain't no big secret, buddy.
43:55And ask your mind to slow this thing down a little bit.
43:58What everybody'd really like to know is,
44:00you know, who else helped you to pull that robbery?
44:02Actually, we've got to...
44:04What'd you say, Bert?
44:04I can't quite hear you.
44:05You're gonna have to speak up.
44:06I said keep your mouth shut.
44:09Oh, I do believe these folk would like to see old Wilton Bridge.
44:12Yeah, I bet they would.
44:13The trouble with old Wilton Bridge is that it got washed out in the flood last winter.
44:17Of course, if we can't jump, it don't matter much to us.
44:19Shoot, we'd rather die than go to prison.
44:27Wilton Bridge dead ahead.
44:30That road crew still ain't fixed it.
44:31Would somebody please stop this car?
44:35Shoot, I couldn't do that, Bert.
44:36Pretend he's missing all the fun.
44:39Woo-hoo!
44:41Help!
44:42Somebody please help him!
44:44Set this thing down, would you?
44:45Help!
44:49Please let me out of this car right now!
44:52All right, who helped you two still have children?
44:53Nobody, man, nobody, I swear.
44:55What?
44:56Boy, shut up, Bert, and I'm gonna tell you the truth.
44:57We did this all by ourselves, nobody helped us.
45:00But somebody just let me out of here.
45:02We did it all along, all by ourselves.
45:05Care for us, that doesn't do it, right?
45:06Right, you got it right.
45:08Nobody did it, but...
45:09All right, Bert, please.
45:11All right, folks, tour's over.
45:13Let's go home.
45:13Sir, as they're just here, the lost sheep were coming on home.
45:18Woo-hoo!
45:20Well, with the whole town CB witnesses to the confession,
45:23boss had no choice but to drop all the charges against the dukes.
45:27All right, Peters, take them inside.
45:30Stuff them and cuff them.
45:31Well, they're already cuffed.
45:33Well, then, just stuff them.
45:34Let's go.
45:35You're good.
45:35Let's go.
45:36You're gonna stuff these.
45:38Roscoe, I do believe that I owe you an apology.
45:41Boss, what you owe me is my badge.
45:44Oh, yeah, you'll get it.
45:46Oh, I appreciate that, I appreciate it.
45:48You're real estate.
45:49Oh, I could.
45:49And I'm gonna give you something else, too.
45:51What?
45:52A fair share of that reward money.
45:55Oh, really?
45:55Mm-hmm.
45:56Oh, 50-50?
45:57What?
45:57Are you gonna disloyal on me again?
45:59No.
46:00I don't wanna go through all that.
46:0160-40.
46:0270-30.
46:0390-10.
46:07And about that money that Roscoe and Boss were gonna split, Mama and Lulu got to it
46:11first.
46:12But Bo and Luke were off the hook, so Jesse was the only one who got stuck.
46:17Get in there.
46:18Get these unwieldy.
46:19Come on.
46:20You'll fit in there.
46:22Oh, dear.
46:23You got an idea?
46:24What's that?
46:25You want to weld the door shut on his pickup truck?
46:27Ha, ha, ha, ha.
46:56Come on.
47:02Good.
47:03Oh, dear.
47:04Dude.
47:04Dude.
47:05Come on.
47:09Oh, dear.
47:10Come on.
47:11Oh, dear.
47:15Oh, dear.
47:16Oh, dear.
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