- 20 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01On the Dukes, one Duke, two Dukes, three Dukes, four Dukes, but who is this Duke?
00:11Jim Stewart Duke, I'll be a son of a gun!
00:14It's enough to drive Boss Hog crazy.
00:34Just a good old boy, never meanin' no harm, beats all you never saw, been in trouble with the law
00:45since the day they was born.
00:48Straighten' the curves, flattenin' the hills, someday the mountain might get them, but the law never will.
01:01Makein' their way, the only way they know how, that's just a little bit more than the law will allow.
01:14Just a good old boy, wouldn't change if they could, fightin' the system like a two modern-day Robin Hood.
01:39Yep, that's Bo and Luke, just like you'd expect burnin' up the road.
01:43Now, I'll tell you one thing, if they knew the mess they was just about to get into, they'd slow
01:46her down a little bit.
02:01Now, there's the mess, Boss J.D. Hall.
02:05Now, folks down in Hazard tend to take their American heroes seriously, like General Stonewall Jackson, for instance.
02:11And if they knew what old Boss was doin' in Jackson's name, they'd be chasin' him north or someplace terrible.
02:23We'll just park right here next to good old General Jackson.
02:25We generally like that. Jackson was his right-hand man.
02:29Ha-ha!
02:31Check out the guy in the stilts.
02:32Yes!
02:34Now, that ain't a walkin' disgrace to the uniform.
02:40Gotcha!
02:42Ah, Cletus, we ain't done nothin' wrong.
02:44Oh, yes, you have.
02:45Not to mention parkin' on this side of the street, you're also loiterin' in front of the portrait of Stonewall
02:49Jackson.
02:50That's gonna cost you ten dollars, unless you'd like to buy two tickets to Boss's exhibit at six dollars apiece.
02:57You know, Cletus, it seems to me you jaywalked your way over here, makin' our ticket illegal in the first
03:02place.
03:02Let's see, uh, jaywalkin', that's a, uh, $20 fine, ain't it, Lou?
03:05Well, I tell you what, why don't you take them exhibit tickets over to the kids over at the orphanage,
03:10all right?
03:11And Luke and me will drop all the charges against you.
03:13You will?
03:13Sure!
03:14Yeah, sure we will.
03:15Oh, gosh, thanks, guys.
03:16You got it.
03:17Hey, we're friends for it, Cletus.
03:19Oh, boy, those guys sure are nice to me.
03:28I think.
03:31Oh, boy, let's go, man.
03:39Pressin' up hazard for Stonewall Jackson, do you?
03:42You know, Luke, there ain't nothin' Boss wouldn't do for money.
03:44Guess not.
03:47Woo!
03:49Woo!
03:50Woo!
03:51Woo!
03:52Woo!
03:53Woo!
03:54Woo!
03:54Woo!
03:54Woo!
04:04Woo!
04:05Woo!
04:08Woo!
04:10Woo!
04:11Woo!
04:13Woo!
04:17I thought you was gonna do some bodywork last night.
04:20Well, I did.
04:21Maybe I'm just gonna have to work on the general tonight.
04:23Mike.
04:32Two to one.
04:33Why don't we go down there and see if we can't even up the odds of Mike?
04:36You got it.
04:53All right, come on. Get up now.
04:56Here, let me help you up.
05:02You okay?
05:04Considering the alternatives, I think so.
05:14That kid, sir, packs a punch.
05:18I am certainly obliged to you two.
05:21We're just glad to help out?
05:22No, I think a reward is in order.
05:25No, sir, we can't take nothing for just doing what's right.
05:27Well, well, well.
05:29I certainly intend to relate your heroic intercedents
05:32to the cultural commissioner of Hazard County.
05:35The who?
05:35Of what?
05:36Well, I had his card in my wallet,
05:38which it appears those ruffians have absconded with.
05:41If I recollect correctly, his name was, uh, Hog.
05:45Hog?
05:46Well, thank you.
05:48Yeah.
05:48Thank you again, Jim.
05:49Yes, sir.
05:56Take care.
05:57Thank you, boys.
06:02Now hold on a minute, wait!
06:05Let's get in the general and chase him down.
06:06Yeah, not with that busted radiator.
06:08Unless you want to drop the whole engine.
06:09No, I don't.
06:10What do you suppose we should do with it then?
06:12Take it in town and return it.
06:13It's as soon as we get that radiator fixed, all right?
06:15All right.
06:16Say, what do you suppose the, uh, curator of the Atlanta museum
06:19would be doing with the cultural commissioner of Hazard County?
06:21Well, I suppose it's got something to do with Stonewall Jackson.
06:23Yeah.
06:24Well, for once, we ain't gonna get involved, right?
06:26Hey, we're not involved already.
06:28Did y'all hear that?
06:29By meeting the museum man, the Dukes were already in it up to their ears.
06:33Yeah, it was about 48 minutes.
06:34Now, General Stonewall Jackson never set foot in Hazard.
06:37Even the Yankees tried to avoid it.
06:39But that didn't stop boss from putting on a special day each year at the bank
06:43to honor General Stonewall Jackson.
06:45General Stonewall Jackson, that's who?
06:48I'm talking about the personal sword of General Stonewall Jackson.
06:52It's gotta be worth $100,000.
06:54And that's what I'm asking from you, Beauregard Mason.
06:57I mean, that sword's not only historical, it's an art treasure.
07:01Well, art treasures are hard to dispose of.
07:05Which is why people like you come to people like me.
07:10But I'll give you $25,000 for it.
07:14$25,000?
07:15Oh, you got yourself a deal, Beauregard.
07:18Bye.
07:19Oh, I done it, I done it.
07:21You done it.
07:22I'm gonna make this the most profitable Stonewall Jackson day we ever had.
07:26Good.
07:27Exactly what did you do, boss?
07:29Well, you remember Beauregard Mason, don't you?
07:31Oh yeah, big man, big man.
07:32Yep.
07:33The biggest fence of stolen goods in the South.
07:35Well, I just sold him the personal sword of General Stonewall Jackson.
07:41How could you do that?
07:42I mean, I thought that sword was in the museum in Atlanta.
07:44Yeah, yeah, it is.
07:45But, according to Article 12, Section 7 of the State Charter, any historical object can be borrowed from any state
07:53museum for exhibition by any county cultural commissioner.
07:57And it has a county.
07:58That's you.
07:59That's me.
08:00But, boss, if you borrow it and then sell it, aren't they gonna accuse you of stealing it?
08:05Yeah, uh-uh-uh.
08:06None of that sword gets stole before I take position.
08:08Oh.
08:09Well, how are you gonna do that?
08:11That's easy.
08:11A couple of boys who are working for me are just about ready to get their hands on that sword
08:15from the man who is bringing it over here this very minute.
08:20Ooh.
08:23You know, it's just amazing what comes out of that fat little head of yours.
08:26Now, that $1.50, that's brilliant, brilliant.
08:30Of course, now, we know that them boys of old bosses didn't get that sword because of old Bo and
08:35Luke, who don't think they're involved.
08:38They all think your day gets complicated.
08:40My, oh, my.
08:42A picture of the personal sword of General Stonewall Jackson.
08:46And tomorrow, when our exhibit opens, the real sword will be on display.
08:51Yeah, thanks to Mr. Hastings here and the Atlanta Museum.
08:56Boy, that thing must be valuable.
08:58A hundred thousand dollars valuable.
09:00Oh, that's valuable.
09:01Tell me, do you think that them bushwalkers you told me about who gave you all that trouble on the
09:06road might have been after the sword?
09:09No, I don't think so.
09:10No, you don't think so.
09:11No, since my wallet's missing, that's most likely what they wanted.
09:15That's what they wanted.
09:16That ain't what they wanted.
09:17Roscoe, you, you're gonna show Mr. Hastings here that Harrison ain't no criminal paradise.
09:25So you just get yourself out on the road.
09:28And don't you show your face in here again until that missing wallet is in my pocket.
09:32In my hand.
09:33And them hoodlums and cooks.
09:36Boss, you hired them hoodlums.
09:38I knew what I did.
09:40Oh, you got another plan?
09:41Yeah, I got another plan.
09:42Of course I do.
09:44But I need time to put it into effect.
09:46Oh.
09:47So you just get out there and we'll sell some exhibit tickets too.
09:52And take that flea farm with you.
09:54Please, please don't like this flash.
09:56No flea farm at you.
09:58My little puppy.
09:58I'll be hiding out there.
09:59Oh, oh.
10:00Can't you?
10:01Yeah.
10:08We'll get them this time.
10:14If that radiator's in, it looks like it's one chase.
10:17Roscoe's gonna win.
10:18Well, a citation's cheaper than a new engine.
10:22Plural.
10:22I guess you're right.
10:24Let's go,
10:26I'll do it.
10:39Roscoe, we didn't do it.
10:41We didn't do what?
10:43Whatever it is you're about to accuse us of.
10:45What I'm accusing you of is polluting the atmosphere with this steaming radiator.
10:49That's what I'm accusing you of, and it's going to cost you a $10 fine, and else you want to
10:54buy two tickets to the...
10:57What is this wallet doing here on your dashboard?
11:00Now, that there wallet belongs to the curator of the Atlanta Museum.
11:04Oh, oh, then you admit taking it, huh?
11:06All right, then, Bo and Luke Duke, I charge you with grand theft wallet.
11:10Now, get out of there, and don't give me a hard time, cause flesh haven't been fed yet.
11:22You realize, Commissioner, that the museum will assume responsibility for that sword in transit,
11:27but when you take possession and sign the receipt, it becomes your responsibility.
11:32$100,000 worth.
11:33Well, I know the administration.
11:36And, uh, speaking of picking up and delivering that sword, I got just the men for the job.
11:41Uh, here we go, tiny, show yourselves.
11:43Y'all recognize them?
11:45Mr. Hastings, I can personally vouch for the integrity of these men.
11:49I know I shall sleep well at night, knowing that sword has been transported.
11:53I need someone whose integrity I can vouch for, Mr. Hawk.
11:56Oh, of course you do.
11:58Boys, wait in my office. I know I'll find something else suitable for your talents.
12:03Yes, sir.
12:08All right.
12:09All right, I got the wallet thieves.
12:11All right, Cleetus, take these two rowdies, put them in a holding cell.
12:15You're making a big mistake, Roscoe.
12:17Sheriff Coltrane did never make small ones.
12:19Sheriff?
12:20Mr. Commissioner, these are the two young men who came to my rescue.
12:24Is that a thing?
12:26Yes.
12:27My, oh, my.
12:28Ain't that just like my young friends, Boo and Luke Duke, to do a good thing for someone else?
12:33Hmm?
12:34Oh, Sheriff?
12:35Hmm.
12:35Put that gun away and give his wallet back to Mr. Hastings.
12:42Boys, I'm deeply sorry that you had to suffer this humiliation because of me.
12:47Well, we were bound to see the seamier side of life sooner or later.
12:50You know, our meeting may be heaven sent.
12:53The museum is lending the sword of General Jackson to the bank here,
12:57and I need someone at fair pay to transport it for me.
13:00Do you think you boys can see your way clear to help me out one more time?
13:04Sir, you said something about fair pay?
13:06Yes.
13:07Mr. Hogg will pay you one hundred dollars each.
13:10I will?
13:11Read the state charter on borrowing for exhibition.
13:14I arrange transport.
13:15You pay for it.
13:16Oh, yes.
13:17Mm-hmm.
13:17In advance, Mr. Hogg.
13:19And now?
13:19Mm-hmm.
13:20All right.
13:21Here you go.
13:23Hundred for you.
13:23Hundred for you.
13:25One more thing, Mr. Commissioner.
13:27Let me and Bo just say what a pleasure it is being on your cash payroll.
13:32Oh, yes, sir.
13:32Why, thank you, boys.
13:34Now, you be there at seven tomorrow morning.
13:37And, Mr. Commissioner, I'm counting on you to look on that sword like it was your very own.
13:42Oh, I will.
13:43Indeed, I most certainly will.
13:46Well, boys, shall we?
13:47Sure.
13:48Let's go.
13:48Wait, wait.
13:49You listen.
13:50Well, you know how, boss, you gave each a hundred, and they're gonna work for you?
13:56What?
13:57Roscoe.
13:58You know why I'm the biggest man in this county?
14:00Uh, cause you eat more than anybody else.
14:03No!
14:04No.
14:04It's because I can look adversity right in the eye and twist and turn it to my own advantage.
14:10Oh, God.
14:11At this time tomorrow, we'll not only have our hands on that sword, but guess who's gonna
14:15be sitting in that cell over there charged with a crime of stealing it?
14:19Harry Joe and Tiny.
14:21Oh, come on.
14:23Could you give me a...
14:23Yeah.
14:24What?
14:24Harry Joe and Tiny are gonna steal their sword, but we're gonna pin the theft on the Dukes.
14:30Oh, that's wonderful.
14:31That's wonderful.
14:32That's wonderful.
14:33Could you turn, turn loose?
14:34Yeah.
14:35I can't get my finger out.
14:36I know.
14:37You can't get my finger out.
14:38He's got a car.
14:41That's smart.
14:42Yeah, but look at me.
14:45Atlanta, which sure bounced back from the way old Sherman left it.
14:49It's where the Duke boys are gonna pick up General Jackson's sword.
15:01Now, Eustace Hastings didn't get to be the curator of Atlanta's museum by not being a careful
15:06man.
15:07If anyone knew the sword was being transported, well, they'd go after that armored truck.
15:11So he put the real sword in General Lee.
15:18Yep.
15:19He had it all figured out.
15:20Every angle.
15:24Y'all recognize them?
15:30Now, now, now.
15:31This one's gonna make a great publicity photo.
15:34How do I look, Roscoe?
15:36Like a regular urban cowboy, huh?
15:38No, boss.
15:39You look more like a little urban fat boy.
15:45Willis, you make sure that the caption on these here pictures mentions that my great-granddaddy,
15:51Light Horse Harry Hog, rode with Stonewall Jackson himself.
15:56Well, Light Horse was the one who rode the other direction, wasn't he, boss?
15:59Push now.
16:01Sure, you.
16:01Need it?
16:02You, Roscoe.
16:15Well, we got company.
16:17I think you're dead right.
16:19Have you seen that car there before?
16:31Oh
16:31All right, just hush up and get that phone. Thanks for bringing my lunch. Oh
16:37I'm gonna stay and watch the picture taken. All right. You can do this. Roscoe Pete Coltrane here
16:44Bosch, it's Beauregard Mason. Oh, yeah. All right. I'll be right down. Somebody help me dismount
16:59J.D. Hogg speaking. I got the money, Hogg. You got the sword? Oh, yeah. Well, I have it by
17:06noon. You just bring them
17:0825,000 you-know-whats to my office. You hear me? And I'll see you at noon, Hogg. All right.
17:18Come on. Here. Help me back up on my office. Careful, dear.
17:25You've got a good seat, don't you? There you go. There we are.
17:29All right. Come on now. Let's get another shot.
17:34People don't want your picture. It's just me sitting up here like General Stonewall Jets
17:40Move it!
17:44Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
17:54Get ready to do this, Fat Buddy
18:08Did you break anything important to anybody?
18:11Are you okay, boss?
18:14Well, he must be all right.
18:16He's eating.
18:27I thought you fixed it.
18:29Dang it, so did I.
18:36We're going to be able to outrun him now, not with that reason.
18:39Hey, we can have Fox.
18:40Hang on, cousin.
19:10Right over here.
19:11Get out, Fox him.
19:12We can out fight him.
19:15Outrun him?
19:17It says teach these two boys a lesson.
19:19Cute.
19:26Now, friends and neighbors, right there is what makes living in Hazard County so interesting.
19:48All right, you two, move it out.
19:50I got an account to settle with these two no-kind dukes.
19:53Now, get!
19:57Right out of the frying pan and into the fire.
19:59Now, let's see if we can cool them down a little bit.
20:01Sir.
20:04I'll be dang.
20:05Jeb Stuart Duke, I'll be a son of a gun.
20:08My favorite boy cousin.
20:09How you doing?
20:10Good to see you.
20:13Now, which one of you advantaged that man's daughter?
20:15Oh, come on.
20:15It wasn't nothing that serious.
20:17Hey, help me up with my bike, will you guys?
20:18Sure thing, Jeb.
20:20Man, the last time we saw you was when we all went on probation.
20:23Where have you been keeping yourself?
20:23It's tough enough staying on probation in Placid County.
20:26Yeah, well, it sure is lucky for us you came along.
20:28I was just heading for your place.
20:29I entered me into County Monocross.
20:31Figured you might help me tune her up and run some laps.
20:33Sure, we'd love to.
20:34This is quite a bike you got here, Jeb.
20:36Thanks, cuz.
20:36Hey, we're gonna have to do some catching up later on.
20:38We've got some business to tend to, and we've got to fix that radiator.
20:41I'll give Uncle Jesse a call on the CB, and let him know you're coming.
20:44Hold on, cuz.
20:45If you don't mind, I'd kind of like to announce myself.
20:52Okay, you can look now.
21:12Well, it's awful pretty, Daisy.
21:14But I don't think it's hardly befitting the memory of the General Jackson.
21:19Uncle Jesse, I think if the General was here, he'd like it.
21:24Yeah, he probably wouldn't.
21:31Holy mackerel.
21:35There's only one fella I know can ride in like that, but he's in Placid County.
21:38No, he ain't, Uncle Jesse.
21:39Jeb, Stuart, Duke, there you are.
21:44Jeb!
21:45Now, who be this little hussy Uncle Jesse?
21:47Jeb, Stuart, Duke, don't you recognize your own cousin, Daisy?
21:50Well, Daisy, you growed some, and in a whole lot of directions.
21:56Now, you two stay here and visit.
21:57I'm going in the kitchen.
21:58When I call you, we're going to have ourselves an old-fashioned Duke visitation.
22:07That bushwhacking had to be boss's doing.
22:09He's the only one who knew where he was going to be and why.
22:13No sense in reporting it to Roscoe.
22:15Thanks to Jeb, we still got that sword.
22:17I still ain't going to rest easy until we get boss's signature on every seat.
22:26Roscoe, you can come out.
22:27I ain't going to hurt you.
22:28Will you tell me why did I ever hire their moron?
22:32Well, boss, I have an idea.
22:34Why don't you sell this sword to Mason?
22:38Out of the mouths of babes and baboons.
22:43Boss, you call me a baboon?
22:44No, you're a jackass.
22:46But you're my jackass.
22:47And you just gave me a wonderful idea
22:49how I'm going to get that sword away from them dukes
22:52before they officially deliver it.
23:02You know, Luke, I can't believe that radiator's holding out.
23:05Well, I say a little prayer every morning.
23:17You better keep an eye out
23:18just in case some guys show up again, all right?
23:20Yes, sir.
23:21Oh, oh.
23:21Hey, boss, boss.
23:23Here comes the dukes.
23:25Yeah, all right.
23:26Now, you remember your cue, don't you?
23:28Oh, uh, when I pull my ear like this.
23:31Oh, yeah.
23:32When you pull your ear like this.
23:34That's it.
23:37Oh, I got that.
23:38I got that.
23:39Did you get that, Flash?
23:45Look what you got there.
23:47Roscoe, I need me a receipt for this here package.
23:50Boy, let's see what you got in there.
23:52All righty.
23:52Oh, oh, look at that.
23:54Isn't that a doozy?
23:56Oh, that's sharp, I'll bet, isn't it?
23:58Boy, you can slice your meatloaf with that or your ham.
24:01Well, well, it will.
24:03Morning, boss.
24:03Hello, Luke.
24:04I need me a receipt for this here General Jackson sword.
24:07Oh, yeah.
24:08Well, of course you need a receipt.
24:11Oh, that sure is a nice sword.
24:14Isn't that a doozy?
24:15That's a doozy.
24:18Your ear bothering you, boss?
24:19No.
24:19Oh, yeah, yeah.
24:20You know, that's one of the better ones.
24:21You know, you could slice salami or bologna.
24:28Hush, hush.
24:29There, Flash.
24:30Listen, Luke, look out there.
24:32You know, you're vicious.
24:34Flash ain't about to snap nobody, are you, sweetheart?
24:37Don't listen.
24:38Just don't you pay any attention to that dog here.
24:41I mean, she'll gum, you know, she's snacking.
24:43Don't look out there.
24:45She's about ready to snap.
24:47Can I get that receipt?
24:48I got to get going.
24:49You mean a receipt for this here sword which you just delivered?
24:52Yeah.
24:53Yeah, well, it's a mighty pretty sword considering it was made in Japan, 1950-e.
25:00Ooh.
25:00Hold on a minute.
25:01Let me see.
25:02Yeah.
25:03Yeah.
25:03Mm-mm.
25:03This ain't a General Jackson sword.
25:05I take that to be a confession.
25:08Roscoe, arrest him.
25:09Yeah.
25:09And his cousin sitting out there in the car.
25:11And have Cleetus guard him both until the U.S. Marshal gets here.
25:15I'll do it.
25:16I'll do it.
25:16Uh, uh, which U.S. Marshal is that?
25:19The one to see the city whom you're gonna call on account of this sword.
25:23I mean, that sword is government property, which makes it a federal offense to steal it.
25:29And I'm happy to say it takes the whole ugly matter out of my hands.
25:33Out of your hands.
25:34Roscoe, boss, switch the sword.
25:36Just hush.
25:36You know he's switching.
25:37Listen, Lou.
25:38You even included flashiness?
25:41You're sneaky.
25:41You do.
25:42Oh, you do.
25:43You're off to that, isn't it?
25:44I know.
25:46Uncle Jesse, I know.
25:47Yes, Uncle Jesse, I know.
25:49But there's nothing I can do.
25:50I'm sorry, too.
25:51Yes, sir, federal pen.
25:54Okay, bye.
25:56I don't see how we're gonna be able to clear ourselves when we're sitting behind dang bars at the federal
26:00pen.
26:01They can't take us there if they can't find us.
26:05Hey, Cleetus, come on over here a minute.
26:08Oh, okay, just a second.
26:11You got an idea?
26:13Not yet.
26:14You'll think of something.
26:16Yeah, what can I do for you fellas?
26:18Me and Bo would just like to thank you for calling Uncle Jesse for us.
26:21Oh, sure thing, Luke.
26:22I figure no matter what a fella's done, his family's got a right to share in his shame.
26:28Guess what that is.
26:30Well, that feels like a handgun.
26:31A handgun?
26:32You got that right.
26:34All right, Bo, get his keys.
26:35Yes, sir.
26:41Don't you move, Cleetus.
26:43Mm-mm.
26:44Mm-mm.
26:48Look, don't shoot him just yet.
26:49Uh, these are his car keys.
26:53Godgummit.
26:54No wonder I can't start my car.
26:56I've been trying to do it in the jail keys.
26:59Got you.
27:00Uh, handgun.
27:01I get a handgun.
27:02Ha-ha!
27:06We just ain't got enough money to get Bo and Luke out of a federal prison.
27:11Well, you know what?
27:16Well, you know what?
27:41I'm a man.
27:45I'm a man.
27:59I'm a man.
28:03I'm a man.
28:29I didn't think it was going to be this easy.
28:33Well, it ain't.
28:37You just told her right there, partner.
28:40Well, it looked like the jail's fixing to have a full house of jokers.
28:50Where do you think you're going?
28:54Congratulations, deputy.
28:55Why, a lesser man would have let my prisoners escape before I got here.
28:58Your prisoners?
28:59Who are you?
29:00I'm the federal marshal, of course.
29:02Didn't you know I was coming?
29:03Yeah, well, you don't look like a marshal.
29:05You don't even dress like a marshal.
29:06Well, either are you.
29:08I've got a badge.
29:09We heard of the Duke gang over in Cedar City.
29:12I came undercover.
29:13And I'd best be getting these two out here before the gang can organize an escape.
29:18Look, I'll see to it personal, Ike.
29:20That you get a commendation for your cooperation there, deputy.
29:23Me?
29:23Yes, sir.
29:25Commendation?
29:25That's right.
29:26All right.
29:27Okay.
29:29Get on out of here, marshal.
29:31Let's go.
29:31Hey, I'm out of here.
29:33Hey!
29:33We got places to go, you know.
29:36Bye-bye.
29:37Wait a minute.
29:38Fellas.
29:40Mister.
29:42Does that mean I ain't going to get my commendation?
29:45No.
29:48Yes, sir.
29:49Hold it.
29:51Right there.
30:02Blige, if you can point me to the sheriff's office.
30:04What?
30:05This is right over there.
30:06Right down across from you, Seth.
30:07It's been a while.
30:08We ain't going to get him.
30:26Flash, I think those Duke boys gave that federal marshal a slip.
30:37Oh, come on.
30:40Oh, much.
30:52Oh, my gosh.
30:54Oh, my gosh.
30:57Oh.
31:10Oh
31:20Yeah
31:24I don't understand. It just seems like I spend half my days either meeting or looking for them boys.
31:30No need to be so nervous and jumpy. The boys will be along directly.
31:35Seems like to me you're the only one that's nervous and jumpy, Uncle Jesse.
31:38I ain't nervous and jumpy, and I ain't your Uncle Jesse.
31:43What are you grinning about?
31:45I was just thinking about the look on J.D. Hogg's face right about now.
31:51Yeah.
31:54Roscoe, penis! I'm going to start to count to win.
31:57And if you two free brains are out of here and on your way to finding and apprehending them dukes
32:01and whoever it was who ate it and a bit of them...
32:04Oh, I ain't you going!
32:06You ain't started counting yet.
32:14Who'd most likely be dealing merchandise like that sort?
32:18Beauregard Mason comes to mind.
32:19He usually handles the fancy stuff in this part of the country.
32:22You know, Uncle Jesse, I think you're right.
32:24Daisy told me she overheard Boss Hogg talking to a Mr. Mason on a telephone about bringing 25,000 you
32:30-know-whats to his office by noon.
32:31What 25,000?
32:33Seems there ought to be something we can do.
32:35There might be.
32:38Uncle Jesse, you know if this Mr. Mason has himself a son?
32:41Well, who'd know a thing like that?
32:43And it don't really matter, does it?
32:45Hey, Jeb, you up to one more monkey shot?
32:47Might be risky.
32:48Wouldn't be no fun otherwise.
32:50What do you think if Mr. Mason sent his only son to deliver the money in person?
32:55If Boss Hogg hadn't seen him in a long time, you think he'd recognize Jeb?
32:57I figured Boss would be breathing too hot and heavy looking at that $25,000 cash money that Jeb had
33:03to recognize anybody.
33:04Will somebody tell me what this $25,000 is all about?
33:09Right.
33:10All right, now what if Mr. Mason...
33:11Looks to me like old Jeb's cut from the same old rock as the rest of the dukes to go
33:15along with this.
33:21Boss says that he ain't paying us.
33:24And that he don't need us no more.
33:27But we ain't leaving Hazard County yet.
33:31Seems like Luke ain't the only one cooking up a plan.
33:39Let's see, we got them $200 bills from Boss.
33:41One from Uncle Jesse.
33:43One from Cooter.
33:45Here you go.
33:46That leaves this one bill short.
33:48No, you're not one short.
33:51Entry fee for the motocross.
33:53And a pranker.
33:54All right.
33:55Hey, Cooter, this suit fits good.
33:56Where'd you get it?
33:57What's it does?
33:58Borrowed off my cousin Earl.
34:00The Undertaker?
34:03Now, if Jeb's gonna pose as Beauregard Mason's son, it stands to reason that Beauregard himself couldn't be allowed to
34:09reach Hazard.
34:10And that was up to Daisy and Jesse.
34:17Here he comes, Uncle Jesse.
34:19In that sassy car, just like you said.
35:03Hey, tell the boys.
35:04Okay. Hey, Rover boys, come on in.
35:08Oh, yeah, we read you loud and clear, Tinkerbell.
35:10Big Daddy just went bye-bye.
35:12All right.
35:14Well, how do I look?
35:15You look great, Jeb.
35:16Thanks.
35:17All right, here's the cash.
35:18Good luck. Your wheels be waiting outside.
35:21Thank you, gentlemen.
35:25Y'all think you can pull it off?
35:27Shoot, Cooter, he's a duke, ain't he?
35:30Yeah, see what you mean?
35:32Don't worry about a thing.
35:34I ain't worried about him, but that suit's got to be back for a funeral by 3 o'clock.
35:41Might not be a bad idea to keep an eye on.
35:44Yeah.
35:44Who's going to keep an eye on us?
35:51Come in, Beauregard.
35:54You ain't Beauregard.
35:55No, sir, but you must be J.D. Hogg.
35:57Well, Daddy said you was an imposing specimen of manhood.
35:59Yeah, I'm J.D. Hogg, all right, but who might you be?
36:02Well, I'd be Beauregard's boy.
36:03Oh, you are?
36:04Yes, sir.
36:05Well, you sure don't look like him.
36:06You know, you're the first person to ever notice that.
36:09Is that so?
36:10Well, all right, all right, come on in.
36:13Tell me, just where is your daddy?
36:15Well, he got called to Atlanta, so he sent me.
36:17Yeah, you know, I may never have met you before, but you sure do look familiar.
36:22Daddy must have shown you some baby pictures.
36:24Baby pictures?
36:24Now, sir, can we get down to business?
36:26Yeah, wait a minute.
36:27No offense, but I've got to make sure, dead sure, who I'm doing business with.
36:31Now, where's your identification?
36:33Well, I don't have any.
36:34You don't?
36:35If I got caught with stolen merchandise, well, it wouldn't do for folks to know who I was.
36:39Yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
36:40Um, you brought the money?
36:42Yes, sir.
36:45Five stacks of $5,100 bills.
36:48$25,000.
36:50Now, no offense, sir, but the merchandise, please.
36:53Oh, you sure are your daddy's boy.
36:56All right.
36:57Daddy.
36:58Ah, yes, thank you.
37:01Now, any man insulting my daddy's integrity?
37:03Ain't no man we're going to do business with.
37:05Oh, I wasn't going to count it.
37:07No, wait a minute.
37:07Wait a minute.
37:07I wasn't even going to touch it.
37:09Looky here.
37:09You can just put it all by yourself into my money box.
37:12See?
37:16Yeah.
37:17He done it.
37:18Let's go get the wheels.
37:20All right.
37:22All right, then.
37:24I guess that concludes our business.
37:26Yes, sir.
37:27Not quite, boss.
37:29Here is you.
37:30Listen, I was thinking about the money I owe you.
37:33Forget it.
37:33No, no.
37:34Give me that.
37:35Oh, I sure got to hand it to you, hog, hiding your money under these newspaper cutouts.
37:40Newspaper cutouts?
37:42Ah, I've been slicker.
37:44Dang blessed.
37:45And the rest of the money in there belongs to widows and orphans.
37:49Oh, my mama's a widow.
37:51And Tiny here's an orphan.
37:52Tie him up, Tiny, and start with Blondie here.
37:54Blondie.
37:55Blondie.
37:56Hey, Japs.
37:57Do it, do it.
37:58I knew I owed you.
37:59Listen, listen.
38:01Hear a joke.
38:02Maybe you and me and Tiny can make ourselves revenge.
38:04Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
38:16What are we going to do with this source?
38:18We're gonna sell it to Beauregard Mason.
38:24Dang it, Jeb should be out here by now.
38:26Unless there's some sort of trouble.
38:29There is. Let's get them. Hold on a second.
38:31They'll keep. Jeb might not.
38:43Here you go, stranger.
38:45They'll get you out of those ropes.
38:46Thanks, cuz.
38:47The man knows who I am.
38:49Boss, don't you know you're not supposed to talk with your mouth full?
38:51Boss, you're not gone. Let's fly.
38:53Friends and neighbors, this one's got more curves than a sack full of rattlesnakes.
39:02Preach!
39:03Goody, I got you here now.
39:05Come on, boss.
39:06I can't stand a word you're saying with that paper sandwich in your mouth.
39:10Roscoe, you're gonna need this as evidence, ain't ya?
39:12Oh, yes.
39:13Watch your leg right there, Cletus.
39:14Why are you gonna smack me?
39:15Oh, yes, it's a good one.
39:17Oh, yes, it's smart.
39:19Oh, yes, it's a good one.
39:21Oh, yes, it's a good one.
39:21You're heading towards Highway 3.
39:23We're gonna cross L&J Meadows, so we can still take them.
39:25Oh, yeah, there's us.
39:26You sure will, cousin.
39:27Hit it.
39:28Hit it.
39:29Hit it.
39:32Hit it.
39:47We'll take my car.
39:48That'll give us the advantage.
39:49We got flash.
39:50We'll take it.
39:52Get it.
39:52Get it.
39:53Don't move.
39:53No, no, no.
39:54No, no.
39:56No, no.
39:57No, no, no, no.
39:58No, no, no.
40:00No, no, no, no.
40:01No, no, no.
40:02No, no, no, no.
40:04No, no, no, no.
40:04No, no, no.
40:05No, no, no, no.
40:12You mean what are they gonna do?
40:13They could be on the road by now.
40:15Don't get your tail over the dash.
40:18I've got to surprise the two up my sleeve.
40:49You're coming right at us.
40:51No, no, no, I've got to prove it.
41:25You know, them hazard kids,
41:27when they're used to all this,
41:28they hardly even stopped to notice.
41:30By the way, you ought to go to one of their football games.
41:53Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
42:01I'm a waltzy waltzy.
42:31Here we come, get down!
42:36Get in the car, hurry up!
42:44Now let's get out of here.
42:54Dang it, they're gone already.
42:59Boy, what a way to go.
43:01Ah, Jeb, we've been snuckered. They weren't even in the car.
43:03They had another car stashed.
43:05Come on, let's go.
43:06Your helmet radio still working, Jeb?
43:08Yeah.
43:13You're going to blow it up.
43:15Move it!
43:16Move it, move it!
43:16Move it, just move it, move it!
43:17Move it, it's me!
43:18No, no, no, no!
43:20Oh, no, no, no, no!
43:21Oh, no, no!
43:21Look what you've got now!
43:26Ah!
43:27Ah!
43:30Ah!
43:33Ah!
43:43I think they're going to be crossing the county line in a minute.
43:45Well, they've got to go past Chalk Hills.
43:48Jeb, you read me?
43:50Clear as glass.
43:51All right, you remember the flying cross?
43:53Affirmative. Where are we making?
43:55Look, we're going to do it in Chalk Hills. It's coming up directly.
43:58You come in from the north.
43:59Gotcha.
44:01Luke, you ain't even sane enough for me to call you crazy.
44:03It's been great to be driving.
44:35Looks like this is it.
44:38What's that supposed to be?
44:40I'm not sure.
44:42Every time anybody gets in a situation like this, they say it looks like this is it.
44:46All right.
44:48Absolutely.
45:08I'll tell you what.
45:09I wouldn't want to be chased in Hazard County at a fast walk.
45:21All right, come on.
45:24Oh, they look at me in one piece.
45:27You okay?
45:28Yeah, I'm fine.
45:29Get out of there, you.
45:30That's it.
45:30Come on.
45:31Come on out.
45:33Get out of here.
45:36All right, now, after we get these two and that sword back into town, we're going to have to give
45:40you a few lessons on that bike, I think.
45:41You look a little rusty.
45:43That's a lot, brother.
45:45Great driving.
45:45Right.
45:46Harry Joe and Tiny was behind bars, and Boss had both Cletus and Roscoe on guard to make sure nobody
45:53got in to talk to him.
45:57General Stonewall Jackson was a big success for everyone, except maybe Boss Hall.
46:03Yeah.
46:05All the money that he made went up in smoke with a car that old Harry Joe crashed.
46:10And he still had to pay all the expenses for Stonewall Jackson Day.
46:14Well, patriotism does have a price, you know.
46:19Boy and Luke said goodbye to Cousin Jeb, who promised that he'd come visiting more often.
46:25How many more strange dukes do you reckon there is?
46:45Well, you've got to pay for it.
46:48Hey, listen, y'all.
46:54Oh, my God.
46:55Oh, my God.
47:05Oh, my God.
47:07Oh, my God.
47:09Oh, my God.
47:13That's it!
Comments