- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01On the Dukes, diamond, diamond, who's got the diamonds?
00:05Diamond.
00:06Diamond?
00:08I don't think the diamonds are on day's door.
00:12We got the diamonds!
00:17They don't have the diamonds.
00:18I do.
00:27Ah!
00:28Coming out!
00:34Just a good old boy
00:38Never meaning no harm
00:42Beats all you've never saw
00:43Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born
00:49Straightening the curves
00:52Flatening the hills
00:56Someday in the mountain I'd get them
00:58But the law never will
01:01Making their way
01:04The only way they know how
01:08That's just a little bit more than the law will allow
01:13Just a good old boy
01:17Wouldn't change if they could
01:21Fighting the system like a two modern day Robin Hood
01:25Oh and Luke ain't being chased
01:31They're secretly testing a new sway bar that old Cooter rigged up for him
01:37The general ain't never felt this smooth
01:40Looking good
01:42Y'all didn't think that the general did all of his fancy stuff without practicing now, did you?
02:00It's kind of hard for me to tell from over here, you give me a shot
02:04All right
02:05Be careful with it now
02:07Got it
02:07Got the wheel?
02:08Yeah
02:08All right, I got my foot on the gas
02:11Now don't y'all try this
02:13Even with practice
02:33Now I don't know who they are
02:35But they sure ain't dressed for rabbit hunting
02:45Are you going bananas?
02:47We didn't come up here to kill nobody
02:50Well, that drop's due any minute now
02:52You want them yokels to see it?
02:54Yeah, well, they ain't here yet
02:56Maybe they'll move off by then
03:07Hey, Cooter, you got your ears on, come back
03:13Crazy Cooter coming back at you
03:14Y'all start whistling, I'm a-listen
03:16Cooter, buddy, you are a mechanical genius
03:18That sway bar you put on the general
03:20Makes him take the corners like the high bank at Daytona
03:22All right, hey, y'all
03:24I'm happy that you're happy
03:25And I hope you're just as happy when I send y'all the bill
03:28Oh, dang
03:31Crash
03:32All right
03:37What's that?
03:39Crop duster?
03:41Not likely
03:42Ain't much dust around here
03:43It's a dust
03:46Would you look at that?
03:47Somebody done jumped out
03:48It's too small for somebody
03:49It's more likely a assumption
03:51Well, let's say we go be good neighbors
03:53To check it out, huh?
03:58I told you there'd be trouble
04:00Shut up
04:00Well, they've seen that shoot
04:02And they're headed right for it
04:27Let's go.
04:29Break the limb off.
04:31Oh, geez.
04:31Sorry, General.
04:33Look at that thing.
04:34What is it?
04:35Here, take a look for yourself.
04:42It's a Bugs Bunny doll.
04:44A sandbag attached to his back to make sure he dropped exactly where he was meant to.
04:48There must be some kind of reason for that.
04:50Ain't never seen a Bugs Bunny paratrooper before.
04:53Why don't we, uh...
04:54Yeah, let's.
04:55Get out of here.
04:56And you aim for the tires.
04:59All we want's a doll.
05:05Is that good shots to you?
05:07I don't know, but let's not stick around and find out.
05:12Looks like them fellas were rabbit hunters after all.
05:22This little thing, Bunny, who'd want to shoot after Bugs Bunny?
05:25Come on, bud.
05:27I wouldn't bank on it being him, though.
05:36What you got?
05:41Lord.
05:42You know, I think these are real diamonds.
05:45I don't think somebody would go to all the trouble to drop phony ones on a plane.
06:02They're trying to tell us something.
06:03I had no idea that Dalton was a serious business.
06:08And they do me the deal.
06:19I think they're headed for River Road.
06:23Wait a minute.
06:23Right up here.
06:24Take Rimfire Lane.
06:25Yeah.
06:25Yeah, we'll cut them off at a place called Willow Junction.
06:28Gotcha.
06:31Yeah, let's see.
06:57I'll use the guys in the in the air.
06:57Go on, buddy.
06:58Come on.
07:01There seems to do something to back it up.
07:08That's good for a city, boy.
07:10Where are we going now?
07:12I'd better head over to the nearest phone.
07:13That'd be the bar's nest.
07:14We'd call the FBI from there.
07:17But, boss, listen.
07:18Not now, not now, Roscoe.
07:20I'm using all my concentration to get the hang of these chopsticks
07:25so I can enjoy a Chinese lunch.
07:29Boss, listen.
07:30You're going to enjoy this.
07:31No, I won't.
07:32And after that, I've got to go through all these here papers
07:34for important state examination.
07:37But, boss, look at this.
07:39Besides, it's too darn hard.
07:40But, boss, listen.
07:42You enjoy money.
07:43What money?
07:44The money we'll make from my new invention.
07:49Listen, boss.
07:50This is the day of electronics.
07:52Show him the electronic box.
07:54And now, Cletus, now he can take this sign up on the highway
07:57and when some unsuspecting motorist come whizzing by,
08:01well, then he pushes that red...
08:03Oh!
08:04I didn't tell you to push the button.
08:06I'll bring it back.
08:07Cletus!
08:08Don't you do that again.
08:10Again?
08:10Cletus, will you...
08:12Oh, Cletus, listen.
08:14That's enough, Cletus.
08:15I like your sound, Roscoe.
08:17Stop it, will you?
08:18I'm not doing it out of control.
08:20I didn't turn it on.
08:21It's stuck.
08:21There's not so much a system there.
08:24Go, wait a minute.
08:25There, there, there.
08:26Ah!
08:27Terrorist, bitch.
08:30What the hell are you here?
08:32Damn, I'm over it.
08:34What the hell are you here?
08:35You, you.
08:37It's coming out here.
08:39Oh, my look at this.
08:40It's you four can't find.
08:41Come out, you.
08:42You money.
08:43I'm in.
08:45I'm in.
08:45Come out.
08:46Come out.
08:47You've got more.
08:48You got more.
08:48Get it.
08:49You got more.
08:50Get it.
08:50Get it.
08:51No, no, no, no, no!
08:51Look at that!
08:54I'm gonna fall!
08:55Oh, my God!
08:56I'm gonna fall!
08:59No, no, no, no, no!
09:01No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
09:01Get me there!
09:08Get her right there!
09:10Get her right there!
09:11Get her right there!
09:18Look in there, isn't there?
09:20No, no, no! Get away! Get away from my body!
09:24My body! My body!
09:36Sheriff, just one question. Who's the idiot and who's the moron?
09:40Cletus, that don't make no difference.
09:42Boss Hog's just upset, that's all.
09:44Listen, that machine is the best invention since outdoor plumbing.
09:48It doesn't go out there on the highway and set it up now.
09:52Now?
09:53Sheriff, just one question.
09:56Can't you help me with this at all?
09:58Are you kidding me?
09:59I'm weak as a cat because I'm hungry.
10:01I gotta go get a corn dog.
10:05I gotta go get myself something.
10:11I'm going.
10:20Do you mean to tell me you just let them get away?
10:23No, we did not let them, Lisa.
10:26They just up and disappeared.
10:28After all the trouble we've gone through,
10:30after putting this thing together for six months, what in the...
10:33What'd you say they were driving?
10:35An orange car with a Confederate flag painted on top of it.
10:39We ain't giving up, Lisa. We're gonna find them.
10:42I thought it was some sort of alien.
10:44Hey, Daisy.
10:45Holy smoke.
10:47Is one of them blonde, one of them brunette?
10:50Yeah, how'd you know that?
10:52Because they just pulled up at a place called the Boar's Nest.
10:54Listen, take Highway 30 due south and get here on the double, okay?
10:59Boss have some sort of feeding frenzy?
11:01Oh, you can say that.
11:03This is the cutest little Bugs Bunny doll I ever saw.
11:06For me?
11:06Uh, well, not exactly.
11:08It, uh...
11:09Where'd you get it?
11:10Well, look, we ain't got time for that right now.
11:12What we do got is a lot of trouble, and we don't want you to be any part of.
11:15We need some change from the phone.
11:16Honey, it wouldn't help.
11:17Why not?
11:19Oh, great.
11:19What are we gonna do now?
11:20Well, let's head home and talk to Uncle Jesse.
11:22We can use the phone there.
11:23We'll see you later.
11:24Hey.
11:25Hey, what's going on?
11:26Uh, nothing.
11:27You might want to borrow all your brooms.
11:28Yeah.
11:32Oh, sorry this place is such a mess.
11:35Can I get you anything, honey?
11:37Uh, well, maybe a little information.
11:39Oh, sure.
11:40Like, uh, who are those two good-looking fellas just walked out of here?
11:44Oh, that's my own Luke.
11:45My cousins.
11:46Oh, your cousins.
11:47They are kind of cute, huh?
11:49They sure are.
11:52I don't suppose they'd know nothing about no moonshining, would they?
11:57Are you revenue agent?
11:58Revenue?
12:00Me?
12:00Me?
12:01No, not hardly.
12:02I'm, uh, I'm Della Dawn, the news columnist.
12:09You are?
12:10Uh-huh.
12:11You're kidding.
12:12No.
12:12Are you kidding?
12:13Are you really?
12:14Miss Della Dawn, how do you do?
12:15How do you do?
12:16Well, I can't believe it's right here in the forest now.
12:19What's your name?
12:19I'm Daisy Duke.
12:20Daisy Duke.
12:21Nice to meet you.
12:21Oh, what a pleasure.
12:22Well, I've read all your articles on, on shine and these here parts.
12:25I feel like I already know you.
12:26Well, actually, you know, that's why I'm here, because I want some more information about an article I'm writing.
12:32And I thought maybe I could find an expert, you know, somebody that could really help me with my story.
12:36Uh-huh.
12:36I don't know.
12:37I just thought maybe the boys might, uh...
12:40Well, I know Bo and Luke would love to help you, but the person to talk to is my Uncle
12:44Jesse.
12:44Well, he knows anything about shine that you'd want to know.
12:47Ah.
12:49Could I meet him?
12:50Why, sure.
12:50I mean, I'd really appreciate talking to all of them.
12:53Well, I know they'd all love to meet you.
12:55Good.
12:55In fact, I'm just about off duty here.
12:57There's not a whole lot I can do, and if you'd like, we'll go out to the farm and, and
13:01you meet everybody, and...
13:02That would be perfect.
13:03Well, did you ever see anything like the way them dukes can get both feet in the bucket?
13:07Now, Daisy's helping the devil do his work, while Cletus is doing his.
13:11He-he.
13:16I got a hand, Jurassico boy.
13:18This thing's just slicker than pig on ice.
13:24You know, I'm afraid it's gonna be them duke boys.
13:27I hate to do this to them, but...
13:28Poverty breathing down my neck.
13:30It's hog rude or die.
13:35Quacks!
13:38Now, friends, since diamonds ain't normally delivered by a parachute, even in hazard, I figure they're hot.
13:45Great.
13:46Cletus, where the heck he come from?
13:49You got me.
13:50Don't hardly matter, though.
13:51We can't let him catch us with these diamonds.
13:53And if Cletus does catch him with the hot diamonds,
13:55them dukes are going to be swapping names for numbers at the state pen.
14:01Now what?
14:18Well, now we know what.
14:40All right, Cletus is okay.
14:42Let's head to home.
14:47Now we're about ten minutes away from here.
14:50Okay.
14:50Stay close.
14:51Don't lose me.
14:52Okay.
14:52All righty.
14:59Now there's Lisa.
15:01Where's she going?
15:10Frank, Lenny, listen.
15:12Follow me not too close.
15:14I know where the goods are.
15:15When I get where I'm going, you stay outside till I tell you to come in.
15:19Copy?
15:20You got it.
15:22You got it.
15:24Now let's see.
15:26Bo and Luke have accidentally latched onto some hot diamonds.
15:29They've just missed being blown up.
15:31And are being tracked by two baddies with a rifle.
15:34While their pretty cohort is being led straight to the Duke house by Daisy.
15:38Mm-hmm.
15:39That's just about normal.
15:41It's pretty easy to see why them guys were shooting at us.
15:44Look at that boy.
15:45Mayville.
15:47This here's Jesse Duke.
15:48Will you get me the FBI over in Atlanta?
15:50Will you fellas hug?
15:52Agent Caldwell.
15:54This here's Jesse Duke over in Hazard County.
15:57Now we got us a problem over here.
15:59Well, Jesse told the FBI about the diamonds being dropped from a plane.
16:03And the agent asked to speak to one of the boys.
16:06An eyewitness, you know.
16:07You're talking to Bo Duke here, sir.
16:09Oh, Mr. Duke.
16:10You and your cousin have been very helpful.
16:12Now a shipment of diamonds was being flown to the Atlanta Diamond Exchange
16:15when the plane was hijacked en route.
16:17The plane was hijacked?
16:19Hijacked.
16:19Yeah, the pilot managed to radio that much information to us
16:22before whoever it was took over the plane.
16:24Now it was a well-planned inside job.
16:27The leader is a woman who infiltrated the exchange to the diamond merchant
16:30and found out about the shipment now.
16:32She's done that before.
16:33Well, she sounds like a real nice lady.
16:35Yeah, well, uh, we'll leave for Hazard County immediately.
16:38Now I should be at your farm at around, uh, oh, say, uh, five o'clock.
16:42Hell, Mr. Caldwell, sir, you got nothing to worry about.
16:44Them diamonds in good hands with the Dukes.
16:46Uh, ain't nobody but us and them sharpshooters know they're here.
16:49Bye-bye.
16:51Nobody but us and them sharpshooters.
16:52Well, almost nobody.
16:55Oh!
16:56Yeah?
16:57What?
16:59Oh, Roscoe, Roscoe!
17:00Diamonds!
17:01Diamonds!
17:02Diamonds!
17:02You see, almost nothing ever happens in Hazard without Boss Hogg hearing about it.
17:07What?
17:07Because Ms. Mabel Tillingham runs the Hazard switchboard.
17:10All right!
17:10And Boss owns her farm.
17:12Say goodbye from Roscoe.
17:13Goodbye from Roscoe.
17:15I already hung up!
17:16Can't you see?
17:17I'm...
17:17Uh, is that thing on fire?
17:19It might be, yes.
17:20I sure smell smoke.
17:21Well, it...
17:22All right, don't, don't pay attention to this.
17:23Listen, listen, listen.
17:24What?
17:25And I can't believe it, but...
17:27Maybell just told me them Dukes found diamonds in the North Meadow.
17:33You know that infuriates me.
17:34Now, I went all over that meadow with my metal detector, and the only thing I found was 60 cents
17:38and a meadow muffin.
17:40Roscoe, your brains are meadow muffled.
17:42Them diamonds they found were stolen and hijacked.
17:46And the Duke boys did it.
17:47Now, they didn't do it.
17:48They didn't do it.
17:49Just forget about that thing.
17:51Leave it alone and go on and swear out a search warrant.
17:54Uh, a search warrant?
17:56Boss, uh, uh, with a search warrant for diamonds, isn't that just a little bit obvious?
18:00That's exactly why we'll say we're searching for moonshine.
18:05Oh, moonshine.
18:06Come on, get out there, will ya?
18:07Go ahead.
18:08Uh-huh.
18:09Uh-huh.
18:13Uh-huh.
18:14Uh-huh.
18:14Uh-huh.
18:15Uh-huh.
18:15You're still out there fooling with that thing, ain't you?
18:18Go ahead!
18:19Uh-huh.
18:20Uh-huh.
18:21General sure picked up a load of red clay this morning, huh?
18:24Thanks, though there's still paint underneath it here.
18:28I don't know who pulled in after Daisy here, but, uh, that's our first.
18:34Well, here we are.
18:35All right.
18:37Look out.
18:38Come on.
18:39Get out of the way, you guys.
18:42All right.
18:48Hey, everybody.
18:49Hi.
18:50This is Della Dawn, the lady from the Atlanta Tribune, writes that column.
18:53Oh, well, Miss Dawn, I've been reading your articles about moonshining.
18:56Mm-hmm.
18:56Very good, but I had no idea they was written by somebody as young and beautiful as you are.
19:02Well, now, aren't you a charmer?
19:04Uncle Jesse, you should not have sweet-talked that young lady like that.
19:07Why?
19:08I think that's what Bo had in mind.
19:10This is my cousin's bone lick.
19:12Hi.
19:12How do you do?
19:13Do very well, thank you.
19:15Good.
19:15Pleased to meet you, ma'am.
19:16Why don't we all go in the house and have ourselves some iced tea?
19:19All righty.
19:19And then, Miss Dawn?
19:21You come in my cold grip.
19:23Come on.
19:23Good job.
19:24Atlanta.
19:25Uh-huh.
19:25Atlanta, Georgia.
19:30There you go.
19:33This has been our place for three generations.
19:36Is that so?
19:37Yeah.
19:38Just sit right down there and make yourself to home.
19:40All right.
19:41Excuse me, Uncle Jesse.
19:48Say, you still writing that article on moonshining?
19:52Oh, yes, I am.
19:54Uh-huh.
19:54In fact, I'm here doing research on it in Hazard County.
19:57Well, you couldn't come to a better place.
19:59Now, you take your Uncle Jesse there.
20:00Uncle Jesse was the best ridge runner in the whole county.
20:02Maybe even the state.
20:03Oh, now, Luke.
20:04Oh, it's true.
20:05Well, he's got a hundred stories, each one more exciting than the next.
20:08Well, I could tell a lot of good stories, I reckon, but they'd have to be off the record, you
20:13know.
20:13That's okay.
20:17Now, pull in there.
20:18Watch out for the chicken.
20:19Yeah, chicken squash.
20:21Yeah.
20:21I've got so many under there.
20:22All right.
20:23Look at all them cars.
20:24Come on.
20:26Come on.
20:26Come on.
20:27All right.
20:28Let's go.
20:28Don't take all the night, will you?
20:30Come on.
20:31Come on.
20:31Come on.
20:31Please, please.
20:32Listen to me.
20:33What?
20:33No, you ain't going in.
20:35We're staying here.
20:36You're guarding this door with your life.
20:37You hear me?
20:37Don't let nobody in the rabbit.
20:39Okay.
20:39Hold it!
20:40Not him!
20:42You better get that rabbit.
20:44Hey, you best get that rabbit.
20:45Yeah.
20:46All right, Dukes.
20:47Where are you?
20:48There you are.
20:49J.D., what do you come busting in here about?
20:51Jesse Duke, I got me here a search warrant.
20:53Take the rabbit.
20:54Find out if you got any illegal moonshine on your premises.
20:58Or on your person.
20:59Yeah.
20:59On my person?
21:00Uh-huh.
21:01Get rid of it.
21:01J.D., you know I ain't made no moonshine in years.
21:04I promised.
21:05Oh, well, maybe you have and maybe you ain't.
21:08Yeah, maybe you ain't.
21:09Roscoe, start frisking.
21:10Right.
21:11Roscoe.
21:11What?
21:12You touch me and I'll turn you over my knee.
21:15Well, did you?
21:16Did you?
21:17Well, I think he's clean.
21:19All right, all right.
21:20Well, then, start frisking in there.
21:22All right, you Dukes.
21:24All right.
21:25Lucky we got respect for our elders.
21:27Just hush.
21:28All right, let's see.
21:29If you...
21:30Don't wanna dance.
21:30You just dance.
21:32And what...
21:32Roscoe!
21:33Uh, listen, I don't think the diamonds are on daisy.
21:38Diamonds?
21:38Oh!
21:39Diamonds?
21:39Ooh!
21:40Roscoe, I oughta take that tongue of yours out and have it bronzed.
21:44Ooh.
21:44Yeah.
21:45I sure as heck don't like the fuzz being down there this long, Frank.
21:49We better get down there.
21:50No way.
21:52Lisa says for us to wait, so we wait.
21:55Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know about Lisa.
21:56Uh, G.D., this here warrant of yours says you have a right to search for moonshine.
22:01Right there it says moonshine.
22:03Oh, you...
22:04Doesn't say anything about diamonds.
22:05You know something, boss?
22:06You know, he's got a point.
22:08Yep.
22:08And so is your head.
22:09Ooh.
22:09Uh, this here little lady's a star reporter from the Atlanta Tribune.
22:13I bet she could come up with quite a story about the lawmen in Hazard trespassing on local citizens' property.
22:19You'll probably make the headlines.
22:20Uh, uh, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
22:22We do everything legal and proper here in Hazlitt County.
22:24I'll tell you that.
22:25Here, give me that warrant.
22:26It won't take us long to get a very proper warrant to search for what we want.
22:29Yeah.
22:30Come on, now.
22:30Yeah, just...
22:33Come on, man.
22:34Oh, my boy.
22:35I'm gonna save the diamonds here.
22:37Oh!
22:38Oh, Cleetus!
22:39Is that the way to grab the door?
22:40Cleetus!
22:41Get on!
22:41Get that thing out of here!
22:42Get in your car!
22:43Come on, let's go!
22:44Can you imagine them two coming in here pretending like this, searching for moonshine?
22:49I tell you, I think those two finally cracked up.
22:52Where do they get off thinking that we got diamonds hidden around here?
22:56Me first!
23:03They didn't see the rabbit, did they?
23:07Yeah.
23:09About that rabbit.
23:10Yeah, Bo, where'd you hide it?
23:12Yeah, I'd like the answer to that too, Bo.
23:14Uh, oh, uh...
23:15Hand it over.
23:16Now, I don't know about y'all, but I'm running out of things that can go wrong.
23:26It appears the lady is what she's supposed to be.
23:29Well, I'm sorry I brought her here, Uncle Jesse.
23:31There's a signal.
23:33Come on, let's get down there.
23:38Now, while old boss was going after a search warrant for diamonds, but he didn't know he was carrying in
23:42his own car, the bad boy showed up to complicate things even further.
23:46If that was possible.
23:51Did you get the diamonds?
23:52I believe I was just about to.
23:54Now, wasn't I blondie?
23:56Uh, no ma'am.
24:00Bo, uh, they all have guns.
24:02Somebody could get hurt.
24:03Now, just give her the rabbit and let him get out of here.
24:05Sir, nothing to make me happier, but you see, when boss and Roscoe came in, I throwed that rabbit right
24:10out the window.
24:11Well, they'd just go out the window and get it and hand it to the lady.
24:15Well, you see it landed in Boss Hogg's back seat.
24:17You threw the rabbit in Boss Hogg's car?
24:19Luke, how was I supposed to know?
24:21Hey!
24:22Hey!
24:25Now, this is no time to argue, boys.
24:27Let's get going.
24:30Lady, you just shot a hole in my ceiling.
24:33Wait a minute, sweetheart.
24:34That little old fat man, he's got the law with him, remember?
24:38And he ain't gonna just roll over and give us a bunny full of diamonds just like that.
24:43First of all, he doesn't even know the diamonds are in the doll.
24:45He doesn't know the doll is in the car.
24:47So you two are gonna stay here and take care of old daddy and the little girl.
24:51And the boys are gonna go with me.
24:52Now, you boys know where Tubby parks, don't you?
24:56Yeah.
24:57Uh-huh.
24:57Uh-huh. I thought so.
24:59Well, you're gonna take me to him.
25:01And you're gonna get the diamonds for me.
25:03And we're gonna take my car.
25:05Let's move it.
25:06All right.
25:08Let's be back.
25:09Come on.
25:11Hey.
25:11Just move it, plow boy.
25:13You know, that little lady needs a good spanking.
25:18All right, hold up, man.
25:19Pull up in there, will you?
25:20Come on.
25:20We gotta make out them warrants.
25:23I'm gonna get myself a corn dog.
25:26Well then, give me half a dozen, man.
25:28Cletus!
25:29You!
25:30Get me a corn dog and get a boss and a half a dozen.
25:33That's it.
25:33Move along, Cletus.
25:35And you.
25:35Come on.
25:36Get me out of here, will you?
25:37Here you go.
25:38Oh, boy.
25:40Huh?
25:40Here's your doll on the back seat.
25:42My doll?
25:43Yeah.
25:44Roscoe.
25:45The only doll I got weighs 300 pounds.
25:47And goes by the name of Lulu.
25:49Remember her?
25:50My wife, your fat sister?
25:52But this...
25:53This is a Bugs Bunny doll, you know.
25:55And it's on the back seat of your car.
25:56Well, so what?
25:57That don't make it mine.
25:58Some kid probably got tired of it and threw it away in there.
26:00Watch it, will you?
26:01Don't throw that on me.
26:02Cup you and stuck me, fella.
26:04Listen, I just thought that...
26:06Oh, you thought?
26:06Uh-huh.
26:07Well, congratulations.
26:08That's a major breakthrough for your brain.
26:11Oh.
26:11Look, will you just forget about this thing?
26:14Get rid of it?
26:14Come on.
26:15We gotta sign a new warrant.
26:16But, boss, I just thought that maybe you'd like to play with it.
26:20Well, that's good.
26:22The only thing I want to plead with is all them diamonds.
26:25Hmm.
26:25Before the Dukes turn them over to the FBI.
26:28Hmm.
26:28So just get rid of that thing.
26:30Hmm.
26:30Hmm.
26:31Ah!
26:31And get rid of that vicious beast, too!
26:33Hey!
26:34Come on!
26:35It's not a vicious beast.
26:36That's Flash.
26:38Hmm.
26:38Oh, Flash.
26:39Look what I got.
26:41It's a Bugs Bunny doll.
26:42Come on.
26:42Say, what's up, Doc?
26:44Hmm.
26:45You can take a snooze with him.
26:47Go ahead.
26:47Good little joke.
26:48Oh, I love that.
26:52Yeah, Flash.
26:53Things are rough.
26:57Ooh.
26:59Hey, boss.
27:00Hey, here.
27:01Hey, boss.
27:03Something wrong?
27:04Huh?
27:04Something wrong?
27:05No, no, no, no.
27:06Huh?
27:07Well, it looks like something's wrong.
27:09Uh, uh, uh.
27:10On the contrary.
27:11I never felt better in my life.
27:13Who?
27:14On the corner, I just snuck me up an idea of how I'm gonna get them diamonds off them
27:20to.
27:20Ooh.
27:21Without no warmth.
27:22Without no warmth.
27:23And no fuss whatsoever.
27:26Oh, good news.
27:27Good news.
27:28Good news.
27:29I'm proud of you.
27:46I'm proud of you.
27:50Well, I can't tell you boys how sorry I am to hear that.
27:54All right.
27:54Why don't you go jump to no conclusions?
27:56Maybe, maybe he's under the seat somewhere.
27:58All right.
28:00Say, pops, why don't you find a spot to squat?
28:04Don't you call me pops.
28:06I'll take that pea shooter and shove it up your nose.
28:12Uncle Jesse, please take it easy.
28:16Here, I'll make you a cup of coffee, okay?
28:18Make mine strong and they don't get none.
28:21That's a telling them, Jesse.
28:22You ain't gonna be telling me he ain't under there.
28:25Not if you really don't want me to.
28:27Doesn't look too big, boys.
28:29All right, now there's a lot of things that could have happened.
28:31Yeah, it was a long drive.
28:32Maybe he fell out of the car.
28:33There's a lot of people to check on the road.
28:37Yeah, why don't you check on the road?
28:39No, we can take on the way back.
28:43Flash, you little sweetheart.
28:45Now, don't get too close.
28:46You know, Flash's kind of mean now, man.
28:47Look out, Flash.
28:48No, I need them fingers.
28:49Give me that.
28:50I'll take that.
28:51Here we go.
28:55We can go now.
28:56That's close.
28:57Come on.
28:57She said thank you.
28:59All right.
29:06Now, one sure way to get old Roscoe riled up is to mess with his dog.
29:10Some folks are just like that.
29:12Flash, I saw that.
29:13Those bug bunny nappers ain't gonna get away with this.
29:16Move over, darling.
29:20Buckle up for safety.
29:42It's a process.
29:46I don't have to tell you boys the consequences to Daisy and the old man if you don't show them.
29:50Shake them, do I?
29:51No, you don't, ma'am.
29:52Just don't worry about it.
29:52We'll do it.
30:21Come on, Luke.
30:22I see a new cutoff.
30:23I see a new cutoff in the highway 101.
30:24I hope that billboard ain't made a two-by-fours.
30:26Hang on.
30:29I see a new cutoff in the highway 101.
30:53Duke boys drive real nice when you have to.
30:55Thanks.
30:56That's all right.
30:57Take it easy, Flash.
30:58That's just boss.
31:00Roscoe!
31:00Boss!
31:01You out there?
31:09Boss, listen.
31:10Well, when Roscoe told old boss about the Duke boys snatching that doll from Flash, the lights came on.
31:16The doll.
31:18Of course.
31:19Of course.
31:21The diamonds are in the doll.
31:25Oh, listen.
31:26Don't worry about it.
31:27I'll get them.
31:28I'll kill you.
31:28Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
31:30No, there's no need to.
31:32That matter's already being taken care of.
31:37Over and out.
31:38Oh.
31:52Now, you just stay where you are.
31:54You stay put.
31:55Stay put.
31:58Well, I see you got it.
32:00I sure did.
32:02What do we do with these yokels?
32:04Hey!
32:05Ain't that something?
32:06That Daisy just won't give up.
32:17I got it, Mike.
32:18What?
32:22Hold it!
32:24Well, just a minute.
32:26You hold it.
32:27Shooting a hole in my ceiling if something...
32:30Shut up!
32:31Now, don't be stupid.
32:32Ain't no reason why anybody should get hurt here.
32:35Get out here with that doll.
32:37You're gonna be minus one uncle and two pretty cousins.
32:41Daisy, I ain't kidding you!
32:45Good girl.
32:47Now, let's move it.
32:49Come on.
32:51I had them just where I wanted them.
32:52Yeah.
32:52Yeah, don't do anything stupid, ain't go poking out your head
32:55because you're gonna get blown away if you do.
33:14Come on.
33:15Get rid of that blue heap.
33:17That's the last thing we need is a hot car.
33:25Let's go get them.
33:25No!
33:26I mean, wait, fellas.
33:27Hold it, hold it, hold it.
33:28They got guns.
33:29We don't want to get nobody hurt.
33:30Yeah, but...
33:31Besides, they don't have the diamonds.
33:32I did.
33:39You only had a couple of minutes in there.
33:40How'd you do that?
33:41Well, I had enough time to take the diamonds out and put in some costume jewelry.
33:45Good for you, girl.
33:46Hey, wait a minute, y'all.
33:47Soon as they find out them diamonds ain't in there, they're gonna be back here looking for them.
33:50Yeah, hold it.
33:51Maybe that's him.
33:56I'll go check it out.
33:57You all just stay right here.
34:06All right.
34:07Mr. Jesse Duke.
34:08That's right.
34:09My name is Mason.
34:10I'm with the FBI.
34:14See, that's a good likeness, Mr. Mason.
34:16Oh, thank you.
34:17You have those diamonds?
34:19Yeah.
34:20Well, could I have them?
34:21Oh, well, sure.
34:23Sure, right there they are.
34:25Oh, thank you.
34:26I'll need you to sign this paper just to show that you turned them over to me.
34:30Oh, I'll be glad to.
34:31There you go, Jesse Duke.
34:33And if you don't mind, I'd like for you to sign this for me.
34:36Receive one bag of diamonds from Jesse Duke.
34:39Very good.
34:40Mr. Mason, there you go.
34:44Uh, Mr. Mason, uh, what's gonna happen now when they find out I ain't got them diamonds no more?
34:49Well, if it's any comfort to you, Mr. Duke, uh, I'll arrange for two agents to stake out this property
34:56just in case of trouble.
34:57Oh, that would be comforted.
34:59All right, thank you.
35:17I got the merchandise.
35:19Any other instructions?
35:21You bet there is, Mason.
35:24You meet us with that merchandise at Primrose Corners in exactly 20 minutes.
35:29Yeah, 20 minutes.
35:31All right.
35:32Over and out.
35:34We got the diamonds!
35:36We got the diamonds!
35:38We got the diamonds!
35:39Now, don't that just blow your hat in the creek.
35:41As souvenirs from his moonshine days, old boss has got phony license plates, phony police badges, and even phony FBI
35:48credentials.
35:49I bet your old boss could probably get into heaven if all he needed was a pass.
35:53Uh, boss, listen.
35:54Now, I know them diamonds is gonna make you rich, but, uh, how rich do you figure my share of
36:01those diamonds is gonna make me?
36:02Oh, you?
36:03Yeah.
36:03Well, uh, I figure after I cut them diamonds down into little itty bitty pieces and give you your share
36:10of an itty bitty piece of an itty bitty diamond,
36:12why, you'll wind up with enough to retire.
36:15Ooh, retire!
36:16Yeah, in 30 years.
36:17Ooh!
36:17Let's go.
36:19Meanwhile, them hijackers was getting rid of that stolen car in a pretty positive way.
36:33Now, let's go spin some of these diamonds, boys.
36:36Uh-huh.
36:41We've been had!
36:43That little snip!
36:45She made a switch on us!
36:46It's a pile of junk!
36:47Go back!
36:48We're goin' out!
36:56I wanna tell y'all something now.
36:58I'm real proud of this family.
36:59You know, it took a lot of character to call on about them diamonds.
37:03Yeah, not as much as it took Daisy to snooker them bad guys, huh?
37:06Caldwell calling Jesse Duke.
37:08Come in, please.
37:09You did great!
37:10Calling Jesse Duke.
37:10Give Luke a piece, sir.
37:12That's Jesse Duke here.
37:13Jesse Duke.
37:14What'd you say your name was?
37:16Come back.
37:17Caldwell, Mr. Duke.
37:18Yeah, I spoke to you earlier.
37:20FBI.
37:21Look, I've been having a lot of trouble with my car.
37:23Now, I should be out at your farm in about, uh...
37:26Half hour.
37:26About a half an hour.
37:27If you're lucky.
37:28If I'm lucky.
37:30If I'm lucky.
37:30Real lucky.
37:31Real lucky.
37:33That's a big ten-four.
37:37What's up?
37:38We've been snookered.
37:40The next time somebody tells me he's an FBI man, I'm gonna give him the saliva test.
37:46I can still catch up with that mason myself.
37:49Uncle Jesse, wait a minute.
37:50Just hold on a minute.
37:51You can do it.
37:51We'll take care of it.
37:52I'm going, too.
37:53Maudeen, are you all right?
37:54The goats is all right.
37:56Oh, ho.
37:58It looks like they shot out your tar, Daisy.
38:02Don't laugh too much, Uncle Jesse.
38:03They got yours, too.
38:05Dang!
38:06I just want that tar.
38:07You'd think they'd have more respect for...
38:09They sure knew what they was doing.
38:10They'd have more respect for the general.
38:11Come on, let's go.
38:20It's a good thing the general was there, but they'd have to ride that goat.
38:25Meanwhile, the crooks was heading back to the Duke farm hotter than a $3 rifle at a turkey shoot.
38:33I can't figure out if that guy wasn't FBI.
38:35The Dukes is trying to get them diamonds back from the phony FBI agent to get them to the real
38:40FBI agent.
38:41Snake's probably named Boss.
38:50That's going to themas!
38:57It's them!
38:58It's them!
38:58Turn around!
39:08That's too much of a head start!
39:11Oh, it's a big shortcut or something.
39:14We can't take that shortcut, right?
39:16You don't call them.
39:17I've never stopped you before.
39:19No.
39:19No.
39:25Woo!
39:28They jumped the road over there.
39:30You just take the long way around.
39:32You don't drive like they do.
39:34Now, honey, there ain't nobody
39:36drive like they do.
39:41Let's go.
39:42There you go.
39:44All right.
39:50Now, this is the real FBI man.
39:52But he ain't got a clue to what's going on.
39:55And this is the phony FBI man.
39:57He ain't much better off.
40:26The Duke boys must be on Tuesday.
40:28They're right behind me on Highway 124.
40:30Now, what you want me to do?
40:32All right.
40:32All right.
40:33Well, just do what you can to lose them.
40:35Do you hear me?
40:36Now, we're coming.
40:36We're on our way.
40:37Give it up, please.
40:38We're on our way.
40:39And so am I, gentlemen.
40:42So am I.
40:45Come on.
40:45Just hurry it up.
40:46Hurry it up, will you?
40:47I mean, if them two boys get a hold of them now,
40:50then you turn them over to the FBI.
40:52But I thought the FBI was working for you, boss.
40:56Look ahead.
40:57I mean the real FBI.
40:59Oh, the real FBI.
41:00Oh, well, that makes your cheese more bite.
41:12Here they are.
41:15I see them.
41:22My.
41:23We picked up his tail.
41:26Now, don't look now.
41:28Come on, drive this thing.
41:31Come on, drive this thing.
42:10Now, here's a line.
42:12First, the phony FBI.
42:17Then, Bowen Lee.
42:19Then, the Madden.
42:22Followed by Boston Ross.
42:25Shoot.
42:26That many didn't finish in Charlotte last year.
42:28And the real FBI's coming right at them.
42:32That boy's gonna need a big lift.
42:40He's got a real hot engine in that car.
42:42Cut through Marley's farm.
42:44You reckon Pop will mind?
42:45Nah.
42:45You ought to put us right on top.
42:55I'll be right on top.
43:03I'll be right on top.
43:05I'll be right on top.
43:12Yeah, I don't know.
43:28All right, come on, beat him here.
43:57I am, I'm praying.
43:58What's up, baby?
43:58I am, I'm praying.
44:01Oh, no!
44:07Oh!
44:10Oh!
44:11What did you say?
44:11What did you say?
44:13What did you say?
44:23Is he all right, Luke?
44:24Yeah, he looks like.
44:25I got him!
44:25All right!
44:26All right, FBI.
44:32I'll take those.
44:34Oh, wait a minute, I'm county commissioner.
44:36He's the Lord.
44:37And I'll take them diamonds.
44:39Give me that.
44:39I'm the FBI, Sheriff.
44:41What?
44:41You?
44:42That's right.
44:44Well, that's because it is real, you do-do.
44:46We're not quiet.
44:47Quiet now.
44:48Yes, sir.
44:48We just come to help you.
44:49Anybody by the name of Duke around here, we might be obliged if you just speak up.
44:53I'm Luke Duke.
44:54I'm Bo Duke, sir.
44:55He doesn't care who you are.
44:56Thank you, boys.
44:57For all the help you get.
44:58Thank you both very much.
45:00All right, young lady.
45:01It did take some doing, but the real FBI got to arrest a real diamond.
45:05And the real Roscoe, to protect himself and Boss Hogg, got to arrest a phony FBI agent.
45:11They sure didn't want him falling into federal hands.
45:14The Duke boys got a real commendation of good citizenship.
45:17To the pride of that, cut into the mountains.
45:19Cut into the ocean.
45:21Yes, sir.
45:21And that's for the real Boss Hogg.
45:23Oh, listen, if you're not going to really eat that, maybe I can, I'll tell you, I'll help
45:29you eat it.
45:29Okay?
45:30We'll have lunch together.
45:32Okay?
45:38But it didn't take but about one bite.
45:41His appetite jerked right up to a normal gluttony.
45:43Mmm!
45:45And friends, I'll tell you, living in hazard might be complicated, but it sure is fun.
45:51No wonder nobody wants to leave.
46:14No wonder nobody wants to leave with me.
46:16It's hard to die.
46:18No wonder nobody wants to leave.
46:27No wonder nobody wants to leave.
46:29No wonder nobody wants to leave.
46:33We'll see you next time.
46:35YouTube!
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