- 2 days ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:01On the Dukes...
00:02J.G., you are the...
00:03Boss's best friend is back in town.
00:06Now!
00:06And the chase is off.
00:07Hold on!
00:08Yeah!
00:10Whoo!
00:16That man's nuts!
00:19All right!
00:23What?
00:23All right!
00:24All right, General!
00:34Just a good old boy
00:38Never meaning no harm
00:42Beats all you never saw
00:43Been in trouble with the law
00:45Since the day they was born
00:49Straightening the curves
00:52Flatening the hills
00:56Someday the mountain might get them
00:58But the law never will
01:01Making their way
01:04The only way they know how
01:08That's just a little bit more
01:11Than the law will allow
01:13Just a good old boy
01:17Wouldn't change if they could
01:21Fighting the system like a true modern-day Robin Hood
01:30What you're looking at is a reunion about to happen.
01:33The Dukes are meeting the bus that's bringing old Jesse's old friend Hector Farley back to Haskell.
01:37Old Hector's been a guest of the government for about ten years now.
01:41That is, he's been doing time in the pokey.
01:48What's funny?
01:50Cletus is behind us.
01:51We ain't hardly doing 55 miles an hour.
01:53Hey, good morning, Cletus.
01:55It's nice to see you.
01:56It's so bright and early.
01:56But, uh, we ain't got no time to play tag, all right?
01:59Well, I'm not playing games either.
02:01Y'all done drove across that double yellow line back there.
02:03That's a no-no.
02:04What?
02:05Double yellow.
02:06Cletus, this here's a dirt road.
02:08There ain't no double yellow line on a dirt road.
02:11Oh, yes, there is.
02:12Boss had Charlie Wooten paid him there just this morning.
02:14So, pull over.
02:17Yeah, all right.
02:18We're gonna pull over, good buddy.
02:19But, uh, listen, there's a beautiful spot just up ahead.
02:22Yeah, where's that?
02:23The Hazard Pound.
02:26Hazard Pound?
02:35Ha-ha!
02:36You thought you'd get me to drive in that pond again, didn't you?
02:38Ha!
02:38Well, I fooled you.
02:39I just didn't fall off the turnip truck, you know.
02:41I stopped.
02:44Stopped.
02:46That means they kept going.
02:49Dadgummit.
02:50I lost them again.
02:51In order to...
02:52Meanwhile, Boss Hogg is about to show Roscoe the latest gimmick to enforce law and order.
02:57Oh, well, we can always use hemp.
02:58So, looky, looky, looky.
02:59Oh!
03:00What do you think of this?
03:01Oh!
03:01That's the very latest scientific know-how.
03:04Oh!
03:04I love it, I love it!
03:05What is it?
03:06It's a radar gun, you do-do.
03:08Oh, radar.
03:09Yeah.
03:09The State Highway Commission give us...
03:11That is, give me $10,000 to get a hold of the best radar equipment money can buy.
03:17Well, let me tell you something, Boss.
03:19That radar gun right there is the very best money can buy.
03:22No, it ain't.
03:23No, it ain't.
03:23It's the cheapest money can buy.
03:26Boys!
03:27Boys!
03:28Boys!
03:30You know, you know there's nothing in there but a hair dryer.
03:34Yes, disguised as a radar gun.
03:37Radar gun?
03:37And I got this one for cleaners.
03:39Boys!
03:41Listen, little fat buddy, I hate to tell you this, but you know that there ain't a hair dryer
03:46that was ever built that's worth $10,000.
03:48You know something?
03:49You have been snookered out of $10,000.
03:52Oh, I ain't been snookered out of $10,000.
03:54But the State Highway Commission has...
03:58It has?
03:58Mm-hmm.
03:59Oh, you mean...
04:01Oh, you little fat devil!
04:05Oh, you know that word?
04:06What we can do is we pocket the $10,000 and nobody will be the wiser.
04:11Uh-uh.
04:11Well, I pocket that $10,000 and you ain't getting any wiser thinking you do.
04:16Oh.
04:16Now, you take them radar guns and you get Cletus and you get out there and you blow dry us
04:21up some revenue.
04:23Oh, yes.
04:24Oh, yes.
04:24Come on.
04:27There is fellow Hector.
04:30Welcome home, Will.
04:31And that's old Hector Farley.
04:32Hector used to be a man that went nowhere without a smile on his face.
04:36But ten years in prison can take the starch out of a smile.
04:39I sure want to thank you, Jesse, for all the letters you sent me over the years.
04:43Oh, that was nothing, Hector.
04:46Nothing.
04:46Wrong, old friend.
04:47It was something.
04:48When I read them, they gave me hope for the future just when I was losing the heart to go
04:53on, Jesse.
04:54Oh, now, Hector.
04:56Hector.
04:57Hector.
04:57Oh, say hello to Daisy here.
04:59This is little Luke and little Bo.
05:01Daisy.
05:03Well, hey, boys.
05:04Boys, look at these.
05:05Don't these look real?
05:07Don't move.
05:07Now, don't show them.
05:08There it is.
05:09Let's put them in there.
05:10Oh, let's put them in there.
05:11Here to me.
05:12Now, Jesse, where do I find me, J.D. Hogg?
05:15Oh, oh.
05:15Now, Hector, let's go on over to the farm and get you all straightened out.
05:19There's plenty of time.
05:20I already done plenty of time, Jesse.
05:23J.D. owes me for my farm, and you know that.
05:29What's the matter, boss?
05:30You look like you got a vapor lock.
05:32He's out of jail.
05:33Huh?
05:34Roscoe.
05:34Huh?
05:34He's out of jail.
05:36Over there with the deuce.
05:37Look.
05:38Victor Fowley.
05:39Yeah, yeah.
05:40Don't you remember that old partner of mine who wound up in the hoose cow?
05:43He's probably come back now to claim the land he said I stole from him.
05:46Well, didn't you?
05:47You couldn't prove it.
05:48Oh, that's a dumb question.
05:49I foreclosed on his land fair and square.
05:51Oh?
05:52Didn't I?
05:52Well...
05:53I thought I did.
05:53I think you...
05:54What the difference?
05:55Look, you just get over there and arrest him, will ya?
05:57Oh.
05:57I want that man behind bars.
05:59Well, enough of this talk.
06:01Let's get you over to the place.
06:03I guess there was something.
06:04J.G.
06:04You varmint!
06:05You and I got business.
06:07Hold on.
06:08Hector, wait a minute.
06:09Wait a minute.
06:11All right, Hector.
06:12Hold on.
06:12Rascal.
06:16I'm sorry.
06:17I didn't mean...
06:17Roscoe!
06:18Roscoe!
06:19They're in charge.
06:20You arrest him for knocking down a police officer.
06:22Huh?
06:22You.
06:23Me.
06:23Hold me to port.
06:24All right, Hector.
06:25You're under arrest.
06:26Roscoe, that was an accident and you know it.
06:29Yeah, we all saw it that way.
06:30That's the truth, boss.
06:31Well, never mind what you think you saw.
06:33Okay, put out your hand and I'm gonna cuff you and stuff you and take you to jail.
06:36Jail?
06:36I spent enough time in jail.
06:38I ain't going to jail.
06:39You can't make me.
06:40Yes, I'm gonna go.
06:40Hector!
06:41Hector!
06:41I don't think I can catch him, boss.
06:44He's a quick little devil.
06:45Oh, yeah, look there.
06:46He goes in the room on the van.
06:48Roscoe, you got no case against Hector for knocking down a police officer.
06:51He got in his way.
06:52Yeah, but I'll testify against you.
06:54Yeah, well, you're gonna testify against the charges of him stealing that van.
06:57Yeah, that's good thinking.
06:58Oh, I know.
06:58Yeah, you're sure using that little thing on your neck.
07:00Now, come on.
07:01Let's go get him.
07:01Freeze!
07:02Hey, hey, you just...
07:04Oh, good.
07:04No telling how long Hector's gonna stay in jail if Roscoe catches him in that van.
07:09That's only if Roscoe catches him before we do.
07:12Hurry up!
07:14Look at my flesh!
07:15Get arrested!
07:16We're at a hot pursuit!
07:31What are you doing?
07:33Hey, come back here.
07:34I'm gonna...
07:37He's my friend.
07:38I'm gonna go with him.
07:40You gotta get...
07:40Hold your legs in, Uncle Jesse!
07:48Now, old Hector ain't lost his touch behind that wheel run.
07:55Shoot.
07:56Y'all should've seen old Hector a few years back.
07:59He can make those hazard ridges smoke.
08:20He can make those hazard ridges smoke.
08:26I sure don't wanna see ya'.
08:41He's a third road head ahead.
08:43Let's do it.
08:43Hang on up, Jesse.
08:48Whoa, whoa.
08:49Look at that.
08:49Whoa, whoa!
08:51Down at the food hall, they call that a hazard bank.
08:53He just works on the roads, too.
09:03We better catch up to Hector pretty quick. Come over.
09:33Hector was downright vexed.
09:36Ten years in jail and finally getting out, the day was sure turning sour.
09:40The Dukes explained that they had a plan for getting him off the hook for taking the van.
09:56Jesse took off to the farm with Hector, and the boys headed back to town to return Ruebottom's van.
10:05With old Roscoe hot on their trail like a blue tick hound after a fat possum.
10:12Oh, what a slide. Hey, we got him.
10:15All right, Hector. Hector, I got you.
10:20Heck, you're not Hector.
10:22Can't fool you.
10:23You Dukes, boys. Listen, doesn't make any difference.
10:25I want to arrest you two anyway. Come on.
10:27What's the charge?
10:29Well, Roscoe, we ain't done nothing wrong.
10:30Well, you stole this van.
10:32Well, Hector stole this van, and you stole it from Hector,
10:35which makes you stealing it from the stelee.
10:38Doesn't make any difference. Come on, I'm arresting you anyway.
10:40Howdy, boy. Luke. How you doing?
10:42Hey, Mr. Ruebottom.
10:43How y'all, too, Sheriff? What's going on?
10:45I'll tell you what's going on. These two roughings stole this van, that's what.
10:48Well, it don't look stole to me, Sheriff. It's right here where I left it.
10:51Listen, Rhubarb.
10:52It's a Ruebottom.
10:53Well, you hush. I know who he is.
10:55I've known him for years.
10:56Are you going to press charges on these two or not?
10:58Against these boys?
11:00Never.
11:00Can't press charges against your best customers.
11:02You do that, and you press yourself right out of business.
11:06How would you like for me to press those five up against your...
11:09You do it. You just...
11:11My pleasure, boys.
11:14Y'all boys, come on down and chew the fat with me sometime, yeah?
11:16Yes, sir.
11:17Nobody wants to be involved, do they?
11:20I'll be involved one day.
11:22We must live right or something.
11:23It's a charmed life, I'm telling you.
11:25Got it.
11:29Hey, there comes Cooter.
11:30You think we can wrangle a ride home?
11:31Only if we feed him. What do you want to bet?
11:33Winner does dishes.
11:34You're on.
11:34Okay.
11:35Hey, hold on.
11:36Cooter!
11:38Hey, can we wrangle a ride home?
11:40Who's cooking supper?
11:41I told you, only if we get to feed him.
11:43All right, you do the dishes.
11:44Get in here.
11:45Hey, don't y'all know it ain't safe to be a pedestrian in this town.
11:47Come on.
11:48What do you mean I do the dishes?
11:51The next day, the boys were on their way into town to pick up some barbed wire.
11:55At the same time, Roscoe was waiting to break in his new hairdryer, a fake radar gun, on his first
12:01unsuspecting motorist.
12:03Y'all want to take bets on who that'll be?
12:05Here comes somebody.
12:06Good.
12:06Oh, I love ambush.
12:09Oh, good news, good news.
12:11It's them Duke boys.
12:12Is it?
12:13All right.
12:14Oh, oh.
12:15And it scuffed it.
12:16He just, oh, wait, wait.
12:17Oh, oh.
12:19Scuffed it.
12:20They don't over know the difference.
12:21All right.
12:23What the heck's Roscoe pointing at?
12:25Looks like a radar gun.
12:27I hope it's a good one so he can tell that we ain't speeding.
12:30Oh, oh.
12:32Oh, oh.
12:33Oh, oh.
12:34Oh, oh.
12:35Oh, oh.
12:36Oh, oh.
12:37Oh, oh.
12:40I'm on fire.
12:41I'm on fire.
12:42Oh, oh.
12:43Oh, oh.
12:44Oh, oh.
12:46Oh, oh.
12:46Oh, oh.
12:47Oh, oh.
12:47Oh.
12:53Oh, oh.
12:54Oh, they're just a humongous.
12:56Oh, my.
12:58Oh, oh, my.
12:59Oh, oh.
13:02Roscoe has bad luck in machinery.
13:04He ought to see him trying to fix coffee in an electric pot.
13:07You done scuffed my hair dryer.
13:09Now you're in hot water.
13:10Oh, we'll get him, boys.
13:12Get.
13:13You done scriders and Ichret.
13:19Oh, oh.
13:22Oh, oh.
13:24Oh, oh.
13:24Oh!
13:25Oh!
13:25Oh, oh!
13:25Oh, oh!
13:26Oh, oh!
13:27Oh, oh, oh!
13:28Oh, oh, oh!
13:29Oh!
13:31Oh, bullion.
13:33all right roscoe what is it this time it better not be that radar gun because you know dang well
13:38we wasn't speeding well that give you no cause to blow up my radar gun and listen that's county
13:44property now and i'm going to arrest you for blowing it up roscoe we didn't blow up your
13:48dang radar gun and you know it you're just making it up uh do tell you you let the judge
13:53judge that
13:54now pull it over and i'm sure it's a fine place of losing we can talk this thing over so
13:59what the
14:00heck he's talking about one lost roscoe coming right up
14:09pull it over now i mean it pull it over hit it oh there we go all right we want
14:16hot pursuit
14:17hot pursuit scuff my uniform and you can blow up my hair dryer
14:32is that what i think it is yep i'm serious them dude boys they went too far
14:39hang on i don't know about y'all but i'm wondering why the road is blocked
15:00now i know why the road was blocked oh i know i know that was a horrendous crash
15:06one dude looks like he's all right yeah you know i swear he's driving better he ain't good yet but
15:14he's better
15:23bad news bad news look what them duke boys did to that radar gun
15:30oh it's a mess ain't it oh it's a mess you're mad too aren't you no no i ain't mad
15:34oh then you must
15:36be sick no i ain't sick neither i thought you was from eating all these donuts
15:42no sorry bob i'm happy as a clam you are
15:45mm-hmm oh then you want to know why yeah why there's two reasons
15:49one is we got rid of hector farley yeah he's afraid of me
15:54turned out to be a mouse in sheep's clothing yeah regular scaredy cat yeah
15:59and reason number two you lost 20 pounds
16:02yep no i may get angry well i'm sorry i didn't
16:05well reason number two thanks to you we can lay the blame for destroying that
16:11their so-called radar equipment on them duke boys
16:13goody goody for me yeah good all right get on that cb pdq with an adb to cletus
16:19let's get on that cb with a with pd what's an adb you don't know what an adb is i
16:25have no idea
16:26why that's an all duke's bulletin oh
16:29get away from there uh uh cletus uh this is your head honcho russian gold p coltrane
16:38you got your ears on yeah i'm right here sheriff boy this is so cold radar gun through me
16:42cletus will you just hush
16:44now listen those duke boys they have done destroyed some county property so they're on
16:49the wanted list is that a big 10-4 you bet
16:52maybe roscoe wasn't shucking and jiving maybe we did blow up that radar gun
16:56we'll see how me neither
16:59mighty fine spreads you got here jesse
17:01thank you hector i'd have had one in this good by self by now
17:07if
17:07if if no ifs about it you're gonna get your place back you just wait and see
17:14meantime you just stay on here with us until you do you're welcome
17:19thanks jesse that's mighty kind of you
17:21you know i've been giving that some thought
17:25and what i think we best do is
17:27go on over to the courthouse and look into them papers of foreclosure
17:32imagine by this time though they'll probably be up too
17:36hey
17:38where are you going
17:39i'm gonna have it out with jg right now
17:42you can't do that
17:56jesse told the boys about hector steaming off to town in the pickup to see boss with fire in his
18:01eyes
18:02there's no telling what he might do if he gets to jd
18:05tell me he'll probably do something he'll be sorry for
18:07now are you boys close enough to town to try to stop it
18:10then luke told jesse about to run in with roscoe over their radar equipment
18:14well in that case you better not go into town
18:18yeah well hector could be in a lot more trouble than we are let me see what we can do
18:21over and out
18:23so the boys in spite of their predicament took off for town to stop hector before he got into trouble
18:29while old hector was a coming after boss with 10 years head of steam built up
19:01stay here will you
19:03ain't no way we're gonna see him come into town from here
19:06we can see him from up there though
19:10bring the jenner around all right
19:11all right
19:12all right
19:20all right
19:25all right
19:25all right
19:41all right
19:54i'm gonna get myself a hot bud sunday here
20:11hey bo
20:12bo i see hector
20:14listen bring the jenner around the front
20:16and you got it
20:44that's a good idea
20:45let's go
20:46i think it
20:48do you see what i see
20:49what do you think
20:50that is hector
20:51he's gonna kill me
20:52he's gonna kill me you protect me with
20:54yeah
20:54just watch it
20:57get away
20:57get away
20:58my car
21:09come on
21:11get out of here
21:12all right hang on
21:14all right now
21:15all right
21:15all right
21:22get out of here
21:26you know something i have never seen anything like that in my whole life
21:30yes friends they got some original means of transporting hazard
21:40you know the part i like best was when he grabbed that rope
21:43no
21:43all right
21:44all right
21:45you ain't in a circus are you
21:46no
21:46you just get after him while i'm still in one piece
21:49go on
21:50will you
21:51oh
21:52i'll give them
21:53this time
21:54they've gone too far
21:56all right
22:10well the boys now had a charge of destroying county property
22:13a hair dryer
22:14and aiding in the bed and old hector
22:16i'm telling you the streets just ain't safe nowhere anymore
22:20don't get away from old ross
22:22go
22:23be cold rain ain't got another thing coming
22:37all right listen cus
22:39we're heading towards ryanwood junction now
22:40got you cus
22:42listen
22:42you take the upper road and i'll go the other way
22:44ross can't put both ways he wants i don't think
22:49go
22:49went right
22:50and luke went left
22:51and poor old rossco couldn't make up his mind which way to go
22:56go
22:57go
22:58go
22:59oochie
23:00hang on hector
23:05fly general
23:08how some ever the boys forgot that them two roads come back together
23:12right sudden
23:23you
23:23all right hector
23:27i'm i'm i'm
23:28yeah i think so
23:30as for rossco he had a choice of two ways
23:33or going back and starting over
23:35so he went back
23:36it was lunchtime anyway
23:38hector hector hector i'm i'm ashamed of you
23:41why all the years i've knowed you you haven't harmed a slivin soul
23:46and yet if my boys hadn't stopped you over there
23:49well i didn't mean jd no bodily harm jesse
23:52i just wanna talk to him
23:54just talk to him sure
23:56but you know when you're on parole
23:58you can't have them fits of temper
24:00i'm sorry
24:01yeah you're sorry
24:02and besides that the boys here are on probation
24:05and our rossco's trying to frame them for destroying county property now
24:10well i said i was sorry jesse won't happen again
24:12and i thank you boys for keeping me from doing something foolish
24:15it's all right hector just forget it
24:18i don't know why uncle jesse making such a big deal out of it
24:20what are y'all gonna do about that so-called radar gun charge that rossco's got on you
24:24heck daisy i don't know
24:26so-called that's the same words cletus used when he was talking about it rossco shushed him up
24:30what so-called yeah
24:32so what
24:32i think we owe ourselves a look at one of them so-called radar guns
24:35well hey cletus has got one
24:37the only trouble is where we're gonna start looking for him
24:39i suppose we better try his favorite speed traps
24:42come on
24:42all right
24:45we'll fix it y'all
24:46i hope
24:47see you later
24:53rossco
24:54i'm sick and tired of your saying i'm sorry boss
24:57every time you let them duke boys get away from you
25:00well i'm sorry boss and i'm always saying i'm sorry boss
25:02oh
25:03and another thing
25:05the next time that hector farley
25:07comes attacking me
25:08it's your job to lay your body right down there in front of me and take what's meant for me
25:13yeah instead of letting him push you all around the way you did the last time
25:16got that
25:16yeah i got that boss let me ask you a question
25:19you got another razor
25:20i'm covered with soap i might as well go ahead and shave
25:22oh listen just forget about that
25:24because i gotta think
25:25what i gotta think
25:28hector farley and the duke boys
25:30yeah
25:30you know wouldn't it be just wonderful wonderful
25:34if i could get them all out of my hair all at once and all at the same time
25:37hmm
25:38it makes my mouth water
25:40you know some of them duke boys
25:42they've saved hector's hide twice now
25:44the mirror please
25:45oh i'm sorry
25:45you know it seems to me
25:47that the duke boys are more interested in keeping hector out of trouble than they are themselves
25:51that's it
25:52missed
25:53you missed
25:54yeah well you just hush up and listen
25:57we can use hector as a bait you see
25:59to bring them duke boys out into the open
26:01and then you can nab them
26:03oh good
26:03plus we can send hector back into jail for grand theft
26:07back in with grand
26:08grand theft how are we gonna do that
26:10well look the county payroll is due to be handed out today at city hall
26:15right
26:15and guess who's gonna rob me of it in broad daylight in front of the whole town
26:20uh
26:20don't tell me
26:21uh let me guess
26:21give me a little clue
26:25hector farley
26:26hector farley
26:27yeah
26:27oh i got it right off
26:28all right
26:28why would hector do such a stupid thing as that
26:30why
26:31yeah
26:31because he's gonna think that i'm gonna give him back the twenty five thousand dollar land money
26:36i owe him to buy a new farm
26:38oh
26:39you're brilliant i just love you
26:41stop that
26:42now here's the way i got it figured hector
26:45we just sit tight until we get the corn crop in
26:48then we take the money from the corn crop and we
26:51get you the best lawyer that money can buy
26:54to get your land back
26:56from jd
26:59hello
27:01who
27:02oh yes
27:03yes he is hold on
27:04well who is it girl
27:05it's boss hog and it's for you hector
27:10jd
27:10yes
27:13i don't care what you got to say about anything jd until you hear me out first
27:17no no you listen to me i want to give you back your money
27:21you would
27:22that's right hector i thought it over real hard
27:25and you know my conscience won't let me rest until i give you that twenty five thousand dollars i owe
27:32you
27:32so you can buy yourself another hunking land
27:35oh
27:36whole twenty five thousand
27:37yeah the whole twenty five thousand
27:40i know i'll sleep better tonight if i wipe the slate clean between us
27:46i don't know what to say jd
27:47oh well there's nothing for you to say
27:50uh you just meet me in front of the county courthouse in thirty minutes
27:54i'll have your money waiting
27:57bye old friend
27:58i am
28:03what was that all about hector
28:06jesse thank you for the offer of the lawyer
28:08but jd's gonna give me the money to buy some land
28:10he says his conscience told him to
28:12i gotta meet him at the courthouse right away
28:14now just a minute hector that don't sound right to me
28:17that's for sure boss hog ain't got no conscience hector
28:19that man sounded sincere enough to me
28:21now don't you try to stop me again jesse
28:25here that man's nuts
28:37let's talk this thing over
28:38no more talk
28:39you're gonna make a mistake
28:40come on
28:42let's go there
28:44he's
28:46he took the keys
28:48there's another set in the house
28:49you see if you can find them and i'll get the boys over see me
29:18you see him doing what i think he's doing
29:20that ain't no radar gun
29:23looks like a hair dryer to me
29:26what the heck's he need that for
29:27hard to say
29:29dang
29:34jesse told the boys about boss's call to hector
29:37and hector heading for the courthouse to meet boss for his money
29:41i tell you the smell of a rat is awful heavy in the hazard air
29:45looks to me like boss is trying to frame hector somehow
29:48well that's the way i got it figured
29:50here's what i think i think that he's just luring hector down there to get you boys to come out
29:54in the open
29:54and grab you
29:56he's done it before it's a chance we're gonna have to take
29:58good
30:00good i'll meet you on the courthouse steps
30:02you drive
30:03okay
30:03what's that there phony radar gun
30:05we should get it for now come on
30:07all right
30:16daisy found the other set of keys to the pickup and she and uncle jesse headed for town to see
30:21what help they could be
30:35hey boss
30:37what
30:37what makes you think that the duke boys and hector are gonna be here
30:41well hector wants his land money back real bad don't he
30:45yeah
30:45yeah and them duke boys being creatures of habit
30:48they should want to help their friends don't they
30:50oh yeah
30:51yeah well then they'll show
30:52don't worry about that you remember what to do
30:54oh yeah i'm uh when hector comes over and takes the box
30:58then i cuff him and arrest him for stealing the counting of payroll
31:01yeah
31:02gold
31:02and when the duke boys show up we get the whole kit and caboodle
31:05the whole kit and caboodle
31:06gold
31:20i got your land money right here hector
31:27come and get it
31:32oh
31:33oh
31:33oh
31:36oh
31:37oh
31:37oh
31:38oh
31:44wait a minute
31:47oh
31:48get after him
31:49oh
31:50come on it's it
31:51oh
31:51oh
31:52oh
31:52oh
31:52oh
31:53oh
31:53oh
31:53What do you want to get?
32:06Dang!
32:12How'd the man handle you like that, Hector?
32:14Now, you fellas turn this thing around and take me back to town, you hear?
32:17After you want to go to jail?
32:18Jail?
32:19That's exactly where he is headed if boss had his way.
32:22J.D. was about to give me my land money, in case you are interested.
32:26Boss Hawk was about to give you the county payroll.
32:28That big red box, everybody in the county knows it by sight.
32:31If you'd have touched that thing, he'd have had you back in prison for life.
32:34You ain't fool.
32:35You wouldn't fool me.
32:37Dang!
32:37I know it was too good to be true, and now I've got you two fellas in trouble with the
32:41law again.
32:42Don't worry about that.
32:44We've been in trouble with Roscoe before, and we'll be in trouble again.
33:09Long about this time, a truck was heading through Hazard for the first time.
33:13That driver didn't have a clue about Hazard's driving conditions.
33:17Hang on, Hector.
33:18Here we go again.
33:24That was close.
33:26Oh, dude, you are too much.
33:28I'm both.
33:28What?
33:28Both.
33:29Oh, my gosh.
33:32Hang on.
33:33I'm hanging.
33:45How did you do that twice?
33:47There's only two trucks in Hazard, right?
33:54Oh, no.
33:55Get out.
33:56Get out.
34:08Get that truck in.
34:09Oh, get away.
34:14Get away.
34:18Next time I see J.J. Hogg, I'm going to take that lily white hat of his and shove it
34:22right
34:22down his throat.
34:23Well, Hector, I don't mean no disrespect, but me and both sure would appreciate it if
34:27you'd just steer clear of boss for a while.
34:28At least wise until we're out of this mess with him, okay?
34:30Please.
34:31I can't promise that, fellas.
34:33I got my self-respect to think about.
34:36Well, in that case, we're just going to have to keep you with us until we get our thing
34:40straightened out first, all right?
34:41Right.
34:41Now, now, now, now, fellas.
34:43Now, Hector, just sit back, enjoy the ride.
34:46The boys started back to where Cletus was with that phony radar gun hair dryer that they
34:50needed as evidence to clear themselves.
34:52Well, we can be sure that Cletus ain't just going up and show us that thing to prove it
34:55ain't real.
34:56Well, there's a certain pretty somebody that he might show it to if he thought he scared
35:01her with it.
35:04Here's the lost sheep calling the shepherd and country cousin.
35:06Come back.
35:07After telling Jesse and Daisy that Hector was with them, old Luke then laid out his plan
35:12to Daisy on how she and Jesse could help them get that phony radar gun from Cletus.
35:16Well, let's try speed trap number two.
35:18Better be back then a week.
35:23And they headed out to do just that.
35:34Well, there's Daisy and Uncle Jesse.
35:52Cletus!
35:53Cletus!
35:53Cletus, hog!
35:54What are you doing pointing a gun at Uncle Jesse and me?
35:56Why would you want to shoot your friend?
35:58Shoot.
35:59Shoot, y'all?
35:59Shoot.
36:00I wouldn't shoot y'all.
36:01I wouldn't shoot a fly.
36:01Well, you're pointing something that looked like a gun at us and it wasn't your finger,
36:05Cletus.
36:05Well, maybe y'all were thinking about this.
36:07You see, it may look like some kind of gun, but it's really just a radar gun.
36:10A radar gun?
36:11Yeah, sort of.
36:12A radar gun?
36:13Oh, my goodness.
36:14I've never seen one of these things.
36:15Now, Daisy, what'd you do that for?
36:16Let's go.
36:17All right.
36:21Why, come on.
36:22Here, let me show you to Uncle Jesse.
36:23No, Davey, Davey, come on.
36:24Davey, I'm sorry.
36:28There you go.
36:29Nice pass, Uncle Jesse.
36:45I don't get it.
36:47Why would Boss Hawk dress up a blow dryer to look like a radar gun?
36:50My guess is so that he can keep the money State gives them to buy real ones.
36:54Ah, so he can frame us for stealing something that he never even paid for.
36:57Oh, well, we didn't really steal that one around because we just ruined it, I guess.
37:01Then I ain't the only one that you've just been ripping off.
37:04Nope.
37:04Heck no.
37:06If you find a list of people he's been ripping off, you might as well just go through the
37:08hazard phone directory.
37:10I bet you, I bet you.
37:13Cousin Boss, this is Cletus.
37:14I don't know how to tell you this, but Bowling Luke got the radar gun.
37:17What?
37:17When Boss found out from Cletus that the Duke boys got ahold of that phony radar gun, he
37:22knew he had a problem.
37:24Did you hear that?
37:25What?
37:25Oh, dead blasted.
37:27Oh, there.
37:28This is J.D.
37:29Hawk calling Bowling Duke Duke.
37:30You boys got your ears rolling out there?
37:34Right here, Boss.
37:35You got something on your mind?
37:36Have I got something on my mind?
37:38Yeah, I got something on my mind.
37:40What are y'all doing with my radar gun?
37:42That, uh, hair dryer you mean?
37:45We thought the State Highway Commission might want to peruse it at their leisure, unless
37:50that.
37:50Unless!
37:51Unless!
37:52Unless!
37:52Unless what?
37:53Unless you drop all the charges against me and Bowling.
37:56Ah!
37:57That's telling him, Luke.
38:00Uh, yeah, Boss, listen, there's also a little matter of a dear friend of ours, Hector.
38:05Ah!
38:05Listen, uh, you gotta give him back all that land money you owe him.
38:09Oh!
38:10And that's in front of witnesses, Boss.
38:12And them witnesses would be me and Daisy, J.D.
38:16We'll be there.
38:17The whole kit and caboodles out there.
38:19All right, all right, all right.
38:21It's the deal.
38:22Ah!
38:22Ah!
38:23Jesse!
38:23You just delivered that there radar, hair dryer thing, whatever it is, you'll deliver
38:28it to me personal, right in front of the courthouse as soon as you can.
38:31And I'll drop all charges.
38:33Uh, plus, I'll give Hector back all his land money.
38:37Yeah, so get it over here.
38:38I'll be waiting, you hear?
38:40Looks like you're back in business, Hector.
38:42Take her back to town.
38:43Boys, I'm mighty grateful.
39:01Well, ordinarily, this story would have a happily ever after ending for the Dukes just
39:05about now.
39:08Except for one thing that everybody was suddenly forgetting.
39:12And that was how bad Boss was about keeping any promises.
39:16All right, Boss.
39:17Here's our end of the bargain.
39:18Oh, good.
39:19And here's my end of the bargain.
39:21Nothing!
39:22Peter, see what I told you.
39:23Right.
39:24J.D., you promised to do right by Hector here and the boys.
39:27Oh, did I?
39:28Well, Jesse, you know I never promise nothing unless I spit and shake on it.
39:32How are you going to spit and shake over the phone?
39:34Oh, Jesse, just quit jawing, will you?
39:36Cletus, you just clamped in the pokey.
39:38And, Roscoe, you come on now.
39:40We got ourselves a little errand to go on.
39:41Over to Hazard Swamp.
39:43Zip!
39:43Oh!
39:44Come on.
39:51Hazard Swamp.
39:52Ah, what better place than throw a phony radar gun.
39:54Get rid of the evidence.
39:55There goes any chance I had of getting my land money.
39:59Oh, we just gotta stop him.
40:00If everybody's through talking, can we go now?
40:02Cletus, just stop waving that thing around.
40:04It don't have no bullets in it anyways.
40:06It does so.
40:07Uh, no, it don't.
40:08No, no, shoot, Cletus.
40:10I can see there's no bullets in there.
40:11It does, too.
40:12I keep five or six of them in there all the time.
40:13Here, let me see.
40:14Here we go.
40:15Yeah!
40:16Freeze!
40:17Freeze!
40:18Get your hands up.
40:24Come back, get your hands up, buddy.
40:28I tell you, that boy just ain't too swift.
40:31Why does this happen to me?
40:39We're coming to the end of a perfect day.
40:41Oh, perfect.
40:42Yeah.
40:42Now, you know, I got the Duke boys in jail.
40:45Plus, Hector Farley in jail.
40:48Plus, no chance of losing them 10,000 simoleons
40:51once this here phony radar gun
40:54disappears into Hazard's swamp.
40:56Oh, right in the muckermire.
40:58Yeah, right in the muckermire.
41:06Never catch them.
41:08Don't you were, Hector.
41:19Roscoe, I'm so happy I could wear snow.
41:21What do you want to hear?
41:23Wait a minute, I'm going to give you my own special rendition of Dick's.
41:26Oh, that's my favorite.
41:30It sounds like you've got a pickle in your pucker.
41:32That's not very good.
41:33No, no, no, it ain't me, you don't know.
41:34It's them new boys.
41:35What?
41:36Yeah, they got away.
41:37Oh, it is one of them boys.
41:38Thanks to you, Mabbermouth, they know we hit it for as it's won.
41:41Well, I...
41:42Well, step on it before they cut us off.
41:44Come on, put your heel to the steel.
41:46Bosch, that's a pedal to the metal.
41:48Well, whatever.
41:49Move it, move it.
41:50Come on.
42:06Blast it.
42:07Listen, those two boys aren't the only one with a trick up her sleeve.
42:10Hold on.
42:10Yeah.
42:16What's he doing?
42:17I don't know.
42:37You all all right?
42:38Oh, we're fine.
42:39This dang thing stalled out on me.
42:41You fellas go on.
42:42We'll try to catch up with you.
42:43Shoot, Roscoe's probably miles ahead of us by now.
42:45There's that shark cut straight ahead.
42:47Come on.
42:48I'll catch up with you if I can.
42:53There it goes.
42:54There we go.
43:07Guys, get moving.
43:09Because I just want to get this thing right over the hands of Swans.
43:12Yeah, well, it's just right around the bend there.
43:29All right.
43:29Now, pull up.
43:30Pull up.
43:30Pull up.
43:41Let me fling it.
43:42Yeah.
43:43Listen, I used to throw for the hazard pony lead.
43:46All right.
43:46All right.
43:47But throw it as far as you can.
43:48Because I want it to go right smack in the middle so it'll sink deep down.
43:53Oh, listen.
43:53This sucker ain't never going to stop.
43:54Watch this.
43:55Go on.
43:55Go on.
43:59Will you throw it down, please?
44:01I'll have to warm up a second.
44:02Oh.
44:02You know you can throw your arm out doing this thing.
44:09Dang it, Luke.
44:10We're too late.
44:11Hold on.
44:13We've still got a chance.
44:14Now, when I say go, you put that accelerator all the way to the floor.
44:17Let's pray Roscoe's still got to get through an arm.
44:20Come on.
44:21Come on.
44:23I got it.
44:24I got to get to my rhythm.
44:25All right.
44:26Now.
44:28Here.
44:29Who's here?
44:32Woo!
44:33Hold on.
44:44Back in 1944,
44:46at Hazard High,
44:48old Roscoe threw two touchdowns
44:50at the wrong goal.
44:54Wait a minute.
44:55Wait a minute here.
44:56Give me that back.
44:57That's government property.
44:58Come on.
44:58Give me that.
45:00No, I'm going to get it.
45:01No, no, no.
45:04Not until you drop all charges.
45:06All right.
45:06I'll drop them.
45:07I'll cross your heart.
45:08Cross my heart.
45:09And spit and bite.
45:12Do it.
45:12Before Jesse gave boss back that radar gun,
45:15he made boss shake hands Ridge Runner style
45:18to drop all charges against the boys.
45:20Return the state highway commission money
45:22they gave him for real radar equipment
45:24and pay Hector the land money that he owed him.
45:27Plus interest.
45:28You shouldn't have.
45:29Why, look at that.
45:30We're going to come out every Tuesday
45:31and help you out with that.
45:32That's a mighty fine thing.
45:34That's what you love.
45:36Go.
45:37Go.
45:37But the best thing to come out
45:39of all this rat killing
45:40was Hector's realizing
45:41that 10 years don't change good neighbors,
45:44especially if they happen to be doves.
45:46You know, I reckon that applies
45:47to just about anybody.
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