The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Who you with?
00:25Hey, how about two sick little girls?
00:28A little better.
00:30Hey, can you wrap this for me?
00:31There's something on the birthday present.
00:35Ooh, locky in. She'll love this.
00:38She will?
00:39I can't smell it.
00:41What else did you get her?
00:42What else did I get her? That's $200 an ounce.
00:46Mmm.
00:47Mmm.
00:48Mmm. Better be trying to clear her sinuses,
00:53ignorant little thing.
00:55One ain't greedy. She appreciates
00:57quality over quality.
00:59An unassuming little gift.
01:01Romantic dinner.
01:03Nice bottle of wine.
01:05And Bernie Mac, of course,
01:07for dessert. That's quality
01:09and quantity.
01:18Hey, guys.
01:19Anyone want to fly a kite?
01:23And that one's calling me Ben Franklin.
01:26Oh, but now that's better than Puddles, right?
01:28You told her?
01:30Look, if you want the kids to stop laughing, you gotta give an effort.
01:33You gotta start doing some of the things the kids do.
01:35But how?
01:37I don't know, Jordan.
01:38Do what the other kids does.
01:40Play baseball, kickball, something.
01:42Fit in.
01:43Do what the other kids do.
01:44Now get ready to go to bed.
01:46Good night.
01:48How?
01:49I told you I'm sitting on the phone.
01:50You did not tell me that.
01:51I did. I did something.
01:54Hello?
01:55Yes, this is Mr. Mac.
01:56Yeah, this is Mac.
01:57This is Doris, the nurse of Damien.
01:59Sure, I remember you, yeah.
02:00Uh, Jordan has fainted.
02:02What?
02:03He fainted.
02:04He fainted?
02:05The nurse said you didn't even lust to that.
02:07I lost my lunch money.
02:08That fat girl picking on you again?
02:12No.
02:14I lost it fair and square playing poker.
02:16Look at the fool out there to play poker.
02:18You said to.
02:19Me?
02:19Yeah, you said do what all the other kids are doing.
02:22And all the other kids are playing poker.
02:24Tex sold them.
02:25It's pretty fun, actually.
02:27But it's over real fast.
02:29I'll give you some pointers.
02:33You know, I don't think it's a good idea
02:35to be teaching the boy how to gamble.
02:37What are you talking about?
02:38You want the kid to go hungry every doggone day?
02:40Look at him.
02:41He's skinny enough as it is, like a science project.
02:44You know, I just think gambling is one of those gateway things.
02:48Gateway?
02:49Yeah.
02:49What the hell are you talking about?
02:51Say it down your voice.
02:52Poke ain't no doggone different than pitching pennies
02:55and flipping baseball cards and shooting marbles.
02:58I'm just trying to get the boy a fighting chance.
03:00Ketchup.
03:01Ketchup.
03:02You ketchup.
03:03I'll get it.
03:04I just hope you know what you're doing.
03:05You let me handle him.
03:06You handle the girl.
03:08I know exactly what I'm doing.
03:10We're not the old west.
03:12No one's gonna draw a six-gillion on him.
03:14This is an elementary school.
03:16There's metal detectives at every door.
03:19Come on!
03:20This is 2004.
03:22Work with me.
03:25Tex is holding.
03:26The first thing you need to know, you can't be trifling.
03:29Because it'll rip you apart.
03:33The first two cards, they must be face down.
03:39There's numerous names you give these cards.
03:43Pit.
03:44Holding ground.
03:45Stomping ground.
03:46Strip.
03:47You're talking about the meanest game on earth.
03:51This'll make a sissy a man.
03:54And you're close to being both of them.
03:57You're playing two tough cowboys.
03:59What do you do?
03:59Pocket Kings.
04:00With the big blind raises, I'm all in.
04:02Give me some to your poker face.
04:05A little bit lower.
04:06To the left.
04:08There you go.
04:09There goes Spider-Man!
04:11Look at my boy.
04:14Boy, I think you're ready.
04:18Here.
04:22Jordan's for you.
04:24Wow!
04:25Your lucky money clip!
04:26You're doggone right it is.
04:28Works for me.
04:29Aren't you afraid I'm gonna lose it?
04:31Give it back.
04:32Give it back.
04:33Give it back.
04:34Give it back.
04:35You take the money.
04:36Give my lucky money clip.
04:38Must be out of his ditch.
04:40America.
04:41You see me getting soft like that, you got to holler.
04:45Been generation from generation.
04:47My grandfather gave me this.
04:49His grandfather gave him this.
04:53His grandfather got it from a prostitute.
04:55Her name was all...
04:58If you need to know everything.
04:59You don't need to know everything.
05:03Yeah, it's all going down.
05:15Hey, guys, can I play?
05:16You're lost, but frankly.
05:18Yeah, go choke down a cherry tree.
05:21That was George Washington.
05:23And so was he.
05:28Your money's just as great.
05:34In the meantime, getting ready.
05:39Hey, baby girl.
05:43Come on, man.
05:44How'd it go?
05:45Can you still call me Ben Franklin?
05:47You kidding.
05:48But that's because I'm all about the Benjamin.
05:51Yeah, baby.
05:53That's what I'm talking about.
05:55Get on this.
06:01You should have seen his face when I called him, Uncle Bernie.
06:05I had the stone-cold nuts, and he was on tilt after that,
06:08and I cleaned him out.
06:10You better hurry up and clean that out.
06:11If your auntie wanted to find out I gave you ice cream before dinner...
06:15It's true.
06:18Hey.
06:19Hey.
06:21We got facials.
06:23You all look beautiful.
06:24Don't we look like 14-year-olds?
06:25Yeah, with jacket, too.
06:28I'm happy with the margaritas.
06:30How many margaritas do you have?
06:32Then after go pee, I'll be back.
06:34Ooh.
06:35Ooh.
06:36Bernie.
06:37Wanda's birthday's on Friday.
06:39All right.
06:39What are you going to get her?
06:40I'll order her two new friends, but they won't be here until Saturday.
06:43Bernie!
06:44What?
06:45I couldn't think of any doggone bag.
06:47I got some perfume and a special card.
06:49I couldn't think of nothing.
06:52Why are you looking all like that or are you losing Botox?
06:55Oh, you really don't know, do you?
06:57Know what?
06:58Bernie, honey, you have got to make up for that huge mess you made last year.
07:04That giant mess I made last year.
07:06What are you talking about?
07:07Like you don't know.
07:10Happy birthday to you.
07:15Yay!
07:15All right.
07:17There you go.
07:19Yay!
07:20Whoa, whoa, whoa.
07:2136?
07:22You told us you were 32.
07:24Yeah.
07:25Come on.
07:27Well, I guess that makes me the youngest vice president.
07:31Yeah.
07:31Now, this is the one that she said she wanted.
07:34Oh.
07:34I know.
07:35It's called the cognac diamond.
07:37That is gorgeous.
07:38Mm-hmm.
07:39Now, you know she told us girls that you better step up this year, right?
07:42I better step up.
07:43Mm-hmm.
07:44Come on, that don't sound like Wanda.
07:47What?
07:48Bernie, the page did not mark itself.
07:55Look here, it's not that I want to be Kobe.
07:57I can be Kobe any day of the week.
07:59It just ain't like Wanda to be expecting it, man.
08:02Bernie, man, we're trying to watch the fight here, man.
08:06Yes.
08:07All right?
08:07If I wanted to hear about diamonds or birthday presents, I could have stayed home, all right?
08:10Hey, guys.
08:11Anyone want to play cards?
08:12You play cards, little man?
08:13Yep.
08:14Uncle Bernie taught me to play text holder.
08:16Where'd you get all this stuff, man?
08:17Hawaii and off the kids at school.
08:19And don't believe the hype that eighth graders are smarter, because we got some real live ones.
08:23Yo, man, somebody bet a Barry Bonds autographed ball?
08:27On a pair of buckets, too.
08:29Some people want to lose their money.
08:30Okay, let's play.
08:32Jordan, you can ante with this A-Rod rookie card.
08:34Look at this, man.
08:35What?
08:35Wait, Jordan, Jordan, we're trying to watch the fight.
08:38We're not going to do anything right now.
08:40I want you to take all your goods and go back to your room while we watch the fight, okay?
08:45Good.
08:45I really wanted that A-Rod, man.
08:48Come on, man.
08:50That's A-Rod, man.
08:52Ryan.
08:54Hey, Jay, you took some great stuff off those kids at school, man.
08:57Little man must have a strong technique.
09:00Same.
09:00Oh, it's nothing.
09:01Uncle Bernie told me to play the man, not the cards.
09:04All you have to do is look for the tails, like Uncle Bernie with the cigars.
09:08Elaborate, little man.
09:09Yeah.
09:10I've watched you guys.
09:11I mean, he only smokes it when he's got nothing.
09:13For real?
09:14Yeah, but when he puts it in the ashtray, look out, because he's got the stone nuts.
09:19Is that a fact?
09:20Let me see if I got it.
09:21If he's popping, he's bluffing?
09:23All right, but if it's in the tray, fold away.
09:27Hey.
09:29Two more days before the big day.
09:31You thought about anything special?
09:34Oh, no.
09:37You're not getting off that easy.
09:39What are you talking about?
09:39I'm not trying to get off easy.
09:41I'm just trying not to make the same mistake I made last year.
09:45Honey, let's not talk about last year.
09:48Besides, whatever it is, I'm sure you'll get me something nice.
09:56Oh.
10:01Something nice.
10:04Is that sure like I always do, or like I better?
10:11Did she say anything to you all about a diamond?
10:15I didn't think so.
10:17It's just not the kind of...
10:23But then when she...
10:32Take it easy.
10:34Hey, Jordan, we all for recess?
10:36I'm there, poker fake.
10:38That's what I'm talking about.
10:39Now you want to tell us.
10:41You know how we do.
10:42Dog on right.
10:43Yo, ho, ho, bro.
10:44Oh, don't start that.
10:49You just call me if you get your hand on something, okay?
10:52I'll do my best.
10:58What's wrong with you?
11:00I'm trying to get this for your aunt's birthday.
11:02I can't find it anywhere.
11:03I looked at the whole West Coast for her.
11:04I can't find it.
11:06I thought the perfume was enough.
11:09I thought your throat was hurting.
11:12I did think the perfume was enough.
11:14No, I did.
11:15No, I'm not sure.
11:17Wanda got the cables on me.
11:19She got no tails.
11:21She got the stone cold nuts.
11:26Who would you...
11:31What is going on?
11:34This is not how I do it.
11:36I'm down to my own of $20.
11:38$20 damn dollars.
11:39A pair of threes.
11:41All right, Bertie Mac.
11:43It's time for the big bad wolf.
11:45It's time to huff and bluff and blow their house down.
11:51All right.
11:54I'm in.
11:55All in.
11:57Might as well get all our money back.
12:00What you got?
12:04If he's puffing, he's bluffing.
12:06I'll call.
12:10Jack's over nine.
12:13Show him what you got, big dog.
12:15What you got?
12:15You got something?
12:16I can't hear you.
12:18Take it.
12:32Cold.
12:32I'm out.
12:33Me too.
12:33Wait a minute.
12:35Wait a doggone minute here.
12:37How the hell y'all know what I got in my hand?
12:39What's going on here?
12:40I ain't had nothing.
12:42You know what I'm talking about, big fella.
12:44Come on.
12:45Shoei.
12:45It was Jordan.
12:47He told us your tails.
12:49Sorry.
12:50Tails?
12:51Bernie Mac got tails.
12:53And he told us.
12:55That boy revealed my intimacies, little son of a.
12:58I hope he never win another hand, ever.
13:05Smell it.
13:07That's a good cigar there, boy.
13:10Good cigar.
13:11I probably told him where I got that from.
13:36Just too easy.
13:39Hey, you guys want to play poker at our house after school?
13:42Give us a chance to win our stuff back?
13:44Maybe.
13:45What do you have left?
13:46I get my allowance next week.
13:48Will you take my marker?
13:49I don't know.
13:51Will you guys vouch for him?
13:52Yeah, it's true.
13:53Dad gives us our allowance next week.
13:55I'll be there.
13:56Not me.
13:57I got to save money for Saturday.
13:59What Saturday?
14:02Um, we're having a birthday party.
14:05Oh, cool.
14:06I hope you like Jake Fury's Fist of Iron as a birthday present.
14:10It's really good.
14:18Hey, Carl, what's going on?
14:19Hey, Byrne, I heard Vanessa was sick.
14:22Order a little chicken soup with matzo balls.
14:24Jewish penicillin.
14:25Thank you, Carl.
14:26Thank you so much.
14:28Hey, take some for yourself.
14:30What's with the pornhum?
14:33It's a long story.
14:34You don't want to hear.
14:36Let me be the judge of that.
14:39Well, today is Wanda's birthday.
14:41Too long.
14:41Too long?
14:42Oh, no.
14:43That's the smile.
14:44That's the...
14:45Now, come on.
14:46What's wrong with a birthday?
14:48Well, this is rest all I'm trying to get at.
14:51But I can't find it anyway.
14:53It's cognac.
14:55My cousin Shelly.
14:56He's a diamond wholesaler.
14:58You're kidding.
14:59Come on, I'll take you.
15:00Seriously?
15:01Seriously?
15:03I don't know.
15:03What else?
15:07What else?
15:32I don't know.
15:32They don't know.
15:32Call.
15:34Ace for two-pay.
15:37Mary-Kate and Ashley.
15:40She makes a full house.
15:42Oh, I'm not getting any cards.
15:44Oh, I'm not getting any cards.
15:46I get my allowance next week.
15:48Will you take my marker?
15:50Not a chance.
15:51But I need to get some money
15:53so I can buy you a present for your birthday party.
15:56Don't worry about it.
15:57You're not invited.
15:59Yeah, there's a no-nerds rule.
16:01I thought we were friends.
16:03I play poker with you guys every day at lunch.
16:05Yeah, I ought to get our stuff back.
16:07You should accomplish it.
16:10Get monsters.
16:14Cousin Shelly!
16:17Shelly Berman!
16:18I don't believe it. Look who it is.
16:20The A-seers.
16:21What happened? Something go wrong and now you need your guard.
16:24Don't be a putz.
16:25Shelly, Bernie. Bernie, Shelly.
16:27My pleasure.
16:28God, my...
16:29Shelly, I need a favor.
16:30And this, I believe.
16:32Don't bust my kishkas.
16:34Bernie needs a diamond for his wife.
16:36Show him the picture.
16:37Okay, I got it right here.
16:38Cognac.
16:39Here.
16:40Cognac?
16:42Very popular lately.
16:43Can you get it?
16:44Can I get it?
16:45Uh-huh.
16:46Can I get it?
16:47Yes, me, can I get it?
16:49Of course I can get it.
16:51Waterily.
16:52I can't get it now.
16:54Why not?
16:55It's almost sunset.
16:57What's that mean, sunset?
16:59Oh, goyim.
17:01It's Shabbos.
17:02Uh-huh.
17:02It's Shabbos.
17:03It's a day of rest.
17:05I can't work.
17:06Shelly, it's a mitzvah.
17:09That means a good deed.
17:10What do you know from mitzvahs?
17:12All right.
17:14All right.
17:15We go to my shop.
17:17You have me till 6.48.
17:20I'm not asking you for much.
17:23But if you can find it in your heart, oh Heavenly Father,
17:26if you can delay your daylight saving time just for a little bit.
17:31Oh, Heavenly Father.
17:35That is a beautiful stone.
17:42Uh-oh.
17:43Sorry.
17:45The sun has set.
17:46The sun has set, my.
17:48Look out there.
17:48It's still hanging out there somewhere.
17:50Sorry.
17:50It is 6.48.
17:52We're closed.
17:53Come on now.
17:53Wait a minute, George Shelley.
17:55Give me a hammer and chisel and talk me through it.
17:56Come on.
17:57Bernie, do not lose your dignity.
17:59It's going to be all right.
18:00You'll take her to a nice dinner.
18:01Buy her a present.
18:02Maybe a sweater.
18:04Sweater, huh?
18:06A bottle of perfume.
18:10Get her the sweater.
18:11You think, huh?
18:16It's pretty quiet back there, kiddo.
18:19What's wrong?
18:20Nothing.
18:21Are those kids still calling you puddles?
18:24Is there anyone you didn't tell?
18:26You should be the last one complaining about brablin' on somebody, Jordan.
18:31I lost everything.
18:32Well, son, you learned a valuable lesson.
18:34That's why they call it gambling, not winning.
18:36It's not that bad.
18:38You'll get them next time.
18:40There won't be a next time.
18:42They want their stuff back.
18:44They want to play with me.
18:46They didn't even invite me to the party.
19:07Oh, honey, there you are.
19:09Oh, honey, thank you so much.
19:11Hey, honey, honey, honey.
19:14What?
19:15Oh, because of the perfume.
19:16I saw it on the counter, honey.
19:17I could smell it through the box.
19:19You really like your present.
19:21Oh, honey, I love it.
19:22You always give the nicest gifts.
19:25What's all this talk?
19:26You're talking with Cheryl.
19:28Tell her, honey, you want me to get this?
19:29This cognac ring and all that kind of stuff.
19:31I looked all over for this.
19:33Oh, man.
19:35You know how Cheryl is.
19:36You know, she was talking trash.
19:38So she was talking about how her boyfriend would always bring home the bling when he messes
19:42up.
19:43So I couldn't think that her man was better than mine.
19:47Yeah, I can see that.
19:48Right.
19:49Because nobody's man is better than my man.
19:52I can see that.
19:54Yeah, honey, let's go.
19:56The sooner we get to dinner.
19:58Uh-huh.
19:58The sooner we get to come home.
20:00I can see that.
20:01And we can play with my perfume.
20:05I can see that.
20:07Yeah.
20:08Smell it.
20:08Yeah.
20:09Yeah.
20:10Smell it right here.
20:11Whoops.
20:13I can see that.
20:17How do you like that, America?
20:19Wanda was bluffing her friends, not me.
20:22I knew I had to figure out, but I didn't go with it.
20:25I didn't go with my gut.
20:26I fought it.
20:29America, always go with your gut.
20:32Always.
20:36How's it going, Jordan?
20:38I'm going to eat all the pudding.
20:40That's right.
20:40The big party tonight, right?
20:43Hey, why don't you come on and send a few hands with us?
20:45Really?
20:46Yeah, you're wanting the fellas for us.
20:48There ain't no competition, no way.
20:49Come on.
20:52Hey, shut the fridge.
20:55See, first of all, you're going to be excited because you think you want.
20:59Okay?
21:00All right, come on.
21:01You can imagine.
21:02Yeah, who's in?
21:02Somebody in?
21:03Somebody in?
21:04Somebody in with you in?
21:06Like I said, America, you got to go with your gut.
21:10Go with your gut.
21:11Besides, it's Misfar.
21:16That's a good deed.
21:20What are cigars, man?
21:22What do you mean by that?
21:23Play cigars around here.
21:24If you want a cigar, you can get a cigar.
21:26Don't you want one?
21:27Maybe I do, maybe I don't.
21:29I'm just not telling.
21:33Yeah.
21:33Tell this.
21:36That cleans me up.
21:37That cleans you up.
21:39Rosie give you allowance.
21:40I accept your mark.
21:41Rosie give you allowance?
21:43She doesn't say that, man.
21:44She does give you allowance.
21:45She told me the other day she'd give you allowance.
21:48Oh, $400.
21:50A week?
Comments