The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:17America, it is so good to see you.
00:20I mean, welcome back.
00:22I missed you.
00:23And I hope you had a nice little break.
00:25Because I didn't.
00:27I was with those doggone kids the entire time.
00:30Yeah, I know what you're saying.
00:32Bertie Mac, when you have children, you have to sacrifice.
00:35Give of yourself.
00:36Blah-dee-blah-blah-dee.
00:37Well, whatever.
00:38Yeah.
00:38But who gives to me?
00:40From now on, I'm going to be the charity.
00:42I'm not asking for any donations.
00:44But I am asking for a little compassion, some understanding, peace, and quiet.
00:49And maybe some cars and a good cigar.
00:52Now, is that so wrong?
00:53Baby straight.
00:54Baby boy.
00:56We don't need you being tired.
00:58You get ready to cry like a baby boy.
01:00What you got?
01:01What you got?
01:01I got three deuce and a pair of shockazoolas.
01:04Oh, yeah.
01:05Yeah, I think that beats you.
01:06Excuse me.
01:07Uh, shockazoolas?
01:08Two black kings.
01:11You got to do something about Jordan.
01:13He's in here playing David and Goliath.
01:15Hold on.
01:15Be right back.
01:16Give it back.
01:17I told you to stay out of my stuff.
01:19Prepare to be smoted.
01:21Well, what I tell you about making weapons.
01:26Philistine!
01:27Philistine!
01:28What?
01:29What is an accident?
01:30What?
01:31No, no!
01:31Let me go back in here.
01:32I'm going to scrub it until you bleed.
01:35They be killing him.
01:38Oh, no, no, no.
01:39I mean, up, up, up.
01:41Y'all didn't deal on here, did you?
01:42And how much did you lose?
01:43We haven't played yet.
01:44Well, I guess this one is mine.
01:46Thanks for the vote of confidence, Bernie.
01:48I'm with you, but not tonight.
01:51Take it easy.
01:52All right.
01:52Look at all those winners.
01:53You know what, fellas?
01:55Bernie Mac is truly blessed.
01:57Yeah, yeah, gentlemen.
01:58Um, don't you think someone as truly blessed as Bernie Mac
02:00should think about, you know, maybe giving a little back?
02:04Absolutely.
02:05You know, yes.
02:05Yes, yes, right over here.
02:07Better back up.
02:07You already get 10%.
02:08Bernie, I'm serious.
02:10I'm talking about, you know, attaching yourself to some cause.
02:13Donate your time, your name.
02:14It's great publicity.
02:15Yo, he's right, man.
02:16There's a whole lot you can do for the community, brother.
02:18You know what?
02:19Like, help the homeless, man.
02:20Well, see, no.
02:21Actually, I was talking about something more along the lines of a children's charity.
02:24Oh, like a kid's disease.
02:26Hey, how about pinker?
02:28My little girl brings her home from school all the time, man.
02:31She's all goofed up, man.
02:33I can't even touch it, man.
02:34Yo, yo, yo, hey.
02:35Come on, come on, man.
02:36Yo, man, Bernie Mac is an A-list comiche.
02:39Big fella.
02:39So we need an A-list disease.
02:41Who?
02:42Yes.
02:42Yo, yo, you want to get to the big time?
02:44Yeah.
02:44Get cancer.
02:45Oh, my God.
02:46Cancer.
02:46Yo, yo, hey, hey.
02:48Get cancer.
02:50It's big, dog.
02:51Can I just talk to my client?
02:52Can I just talk to my client?
02:54For the love of God, WB.
02:56Bernie, dog, listen.
02:58I appreciate, you know, the input from the homies.
03:01No offense, but listen to me.
03:02There is a fundraiser for the L.A. Children's Council that I really think you should do.
03:06The big fella, right?
03:07I should get cancer.
03:08Yeah.
03:09Hey, all the stars.
03:10Come on, J.
03:11We just busted.
03:12Come on, like.
03:13Listen, tonight, poker night, man.
03:15We don't want to discuss it no more.
03:17Let's move on.
03:18Fine.
03:18Fine.
03:18I'm done.
03:19I'm done.
03:19Moving on.
03:20Let's do it.
03:20Let's do it.
03:21That's it.
03:21Now you're going to hear me say another word about the golf tournament.
03:24Good.
03:24Don't say nothing about golf tournament.
03:28What's that, buddy?
03:29Oh, yeah.
03:30Matt Damon's thing.
03:31Yeah, but don't worry.
03:31No, he said you wouldn't want to do it.
03:33You know, not since he beat you by six strokes the last time you guys played.
03:35Nah, bro.
03:37Six strokes?
03:37He got you by six strokes?
03:39No, no, no.
03:40Six strokes.
03:41He said that?
03:41No, I'm just telling you what he told me.
03:42I'm just telling you what he told me.
03:43And anyway, you know, it's a family thing.
03:45He's bringing his girlfriend so you can bring Wanda and the kids.
03:48I'm just telling you, he was hoping you'd come.
03:50But I'm not going to say another word.
03:51We played about six or seven times.
03:53We were shooting Ocean Eleven, man.
03:54And I swear to you, man, Damon only beat me one time.
03:56And that was because I had food poised.
03:58That's right.
03:59You know, see, Julia, man, she took her to this all-you-can-eat lobster buffet for $7.99.
04:03American sweetheart made me sick to my doggone stomach.
04:06And now Damon's in the bitch starting rumors.
04:08Right.
04:08So you're in.
04:09Hell yeah.
04:10Go get him, man.
04:11Get the bejesus out of him, too.
04:12Yeah.
04:13Those sick little kids gonna love it.
04:14And I'll tell you something else.
04:17Do it, man.
04:19Go, girl.
04:25Hey!
04:27We got to pay back.
04:29Pay back.
04:31Revenge.
04:37I'm mad.
04:39The big payback.
04:41I got to get back.
04:43I need some get back.
04:46Pay back.
04:49Pay back.
04:51That is.
04:53Pay back.
04:56Again.
04:57Yeah.
04:58I'm mad.
05:00Get down.
05:01Bernie.
05:02Bernie, what is it?
05:03Is everything okay?
05:06One, you better come to the house.
05:08Bernie, you're scaring me.
05:10What happened?
05:12Are the kids okay?
05:13Is it my mother?
05:16It's your golf game.
05:18Baby, it's atrocious.
05:20The only reason I'm letting you play because you know about it already.
05:23Honey, Matt's a hell of a golfer.
05:25You got to bring your A game.
05:27If not, I'm afraid you're going to be a big liability.
05:30But I can help.
05:31See, the first thing we need to...
05:37I have to do something, America.
05:39I love my wife, but I hate her game.
05:42Her game's ugly.
05:44As ugly as a set of English teeth.
05:47Hmm.
05:48But then again, Matt's bringing his girl.
05:52She ain't no better than Wanda.
05:54They kind of castles each other out, you know.
05:56Like two negatives, equaling a positive.
05:59So it's really just about me and Matt.
06:02Uh, I could take that duffer one-handed.
06:06Yes, sir.
06:07Oh, America is back on.
06:09Oh, yes, on.
06:11On.
06:21Bernie.
06:22Hey, Bernie, Matt.
06:24Bernie.
06:25Look at this, baby.
06:26Hey, hey, Wanda.
06:27Hey, Matt.
06:28How you doing?
06:28What's up, man?
06:29Hey, thanks for coming, man.
06:30I appreciate it.
06:31I appreciate it.
06:32Hey, kids, how you doing?
06:33You're all right.
06:34You didn't...
06:34Your stomach okay?
06:35You didn't eat any shellfish or anything for breakfast.
06:37Okay?
06:38Matt, I got you.
06:39I've been working on my secret weapon, babe,
06:41and I hope your lady friend brought her swan.
06:43Oh, my girlfriend couldn't come.
06:44She had to go out of town, so I had to get a sub.
06:47A sub?
06:48What?
06:48Yeah, uh, Luce?
06:50Hey, you know Lucy Lawless?
06:52Uh, Xena.
06:53Warrior princess?
06:53Warrior princess?
06:55Bernie, hi.
06:57Ow.
06:58Not fair, America.
07:00Lucy Lawless?
07:01The girl mythological.
07:03He brought a warrior princess.
07:04I brought a set of English teeth.
07:07Advantage?
07:08Damon.
07:08This is gonna be ugly, America.
07:10The girl got a grip.
07:13I'm gonna have to go get some x-ray.
07:19That's a good-looking swing, Bern.
07:21Oh, look at you, Matt.
07:22You know you slick.
07:24You're doing the doggone thing to win.
07:26You have the wrong idea.
07:27No, I don't.
07:27Here's Bernie Mac with our host, Matt Damon.
07:29Uh, is there a little rivalry going on between you guys?
07:32No, no.
07:33No, no, no.
07:34We're just here to...
07:34No, no, no, no.
07:35No, no, no, no.
07:35Yeah, there ain't no rivalry.
07:36Matt know I whoop him every doggone time.
07:38Every time.
07:40Bernie gets a little competitive at these things.
07:42Oh, I, oh, I, oh.
07:43Oh, I get, I get a little competitive.
07:45I'm not the one that traded my partner in for Hercules in a dress, where is she?
07:48Where is she?
07:50Hey, hey, Lucy.
07:51Good shot, Bernie.
07:53Look at those arms.
07:54The jaws of life.
07:55That's what they look like.
07:56They'll suck the wind at you.
07:57Bernie, come on, man.
07:58This is for charity.
07:59Charity.
07:59Charity, right?
08:00Okay.
08:01If it's for charity, won't you take Wanda and give me Lucy?
08:03I'm not gonna take Wanda.
08:04It's for charity.
08:05It's for charity.
08:06I flew Lucy here from New Zealand, man.
08:08It's for charity.
08:09It's for charity.
08:09All right, fine.
08:09I'll take Wanda as my partner.
08:12Now you want my wife.
08:13Say, I know you wanted my wife.
08:15You always did want my wife.
08:16Ready to play?
08:19Oh, this is wonderful.
08:21Bernie Mac's chosen one of the Terminal kids to be his honorary caddy.
08:24A big man.
08:26A big heart.
08:27I'm Terminal?
08:29Shut up, boy.
08:30He's sick as hell.
08:32First up on team number one, the host of our tournament, Matt Damon.
08:40Matt, good luck.
08:42Oh, thank you, sweetie.
08:43That child's dead to me.
08:50Next up on the team, Lucy Lawless.
09:09Yes.
09:10Yes.
09:11Did you see that, America?
09:12Yeah, she's bad.
09:14She might be able to swing a sword, but she can't swing a golf club.
09:17No, sir.
09:18My baby, Wanda, she got this.
09:22Yes.
09:23Wanda, do just like I told you, baby.
09:26Keep your head down, your left arm straight.
09:28You got it.
09:29Give me that rhythmic backswing, baby.
09:30I want you to hold it like a wounded bird.
09:32Bernie.
09:33All right, I ain't going to say nothing.
09:34I ain't going to say nothing.
09:35Go ahead.
09:35Go ahead.
09:38Oh, remember the waggle.
09:40That's the boy.
09:41Oh.
09:50Come on, baby.
09:51Come on, come on.
09:52Come on.
09:53Come on, baby.
09:54Bring in the heat.
09:55Hey, Matt.
09:56Say like I'm the one who got the ringer, huh?
09:58Come on, baby.
09:59Show them how it's done.
10:00You think I ain't?
10:01Teen off next, Bernie Matt.
10:06What's up?
10:08Time to grip it and rip it.
10:15Yeah.
10:16That's my Bernie.
10:20That's no endorsements, baby.
10:22Want to flag that, my man?
10:24You better bring a bag of vans.
10:26Whoa.
10:34Damn, America.
10:36Wanda's playing pretty doggone good.
10:39Look at you.
10:41I mean, right down the middle.
10:43You ain't seen nothing yet, baby.
10:45Watch this here.
10:51Booty.
10:52Ooh, right in the rug.
10:54Don't talk to him, sweetie.
10:55Might rub off on you.
10:57Could have made that shot.
10:58You know, it's kind of complicated.
10:59I was shooting a fade.
11:01Yeah.
11:02Hey.
11:03Hey.
11:12Hey.
11:14Well, you know, it's kind of hard.
11:17You know, it's kind of hard.
11:18And you know, it's hard because lately you've been starting to lose.
11:23Losing out on everything.
11:25Like, fighting you.
11:27Bad luck, fella's got to hold on you.
11:32There's any money about to lose your home.
11:36Oh, that's what I'm talking about.
11:38Close to the home, baby.
11:43Matt.
11:43Back.
11:44If you want to know the truth about it, I'll tell you what's coming to you.
11:47Down, down, down.
11:50Oh, my goodness.
11:52Oh, my God.
11:53Did you see that?
11:54Oh, Wanda.
11:55That was incredible.
11:56I think you just found Bernie's swing.
11:57Yeah, Bernie.
11:58Maybe you can take some lessons from your wife.
11:59Yes.
12:02Well, you say I got a swum in the clubs over here.
12:05I'm Wanda's punking him.
12:07Ain't nobody punking nothing.
12:08I ain't got nothing against Wanda playing well, America.
12:10No, I don't.
12:11But I want to play good, too.
12:13And in all fairness, she's been playing from the ladies' team.
12:16I'm playing from the pros.
12:18My first team.
12:31Doug!
12:33Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Bernie.
12:34Bernie, he's up, dog.
12:36All right?
12:36Dog.
12:36Okay.
12:37The crowd loved it, man.
12:38The last thing you want to do is explain child abuse at a children's charity event, right?
12:43Bernie Mac!
12:44Ah, give it up.
12:46King of comedy.
12:48For the kids, baby.
12:50It's all for the kids.
12:51That's right.
12:52Good for you, George.
12:54For the God.
12:55Simon says, shake your head.
13:00Simon says, shake your hips.
13:09Fire!
13:17Ha-ha.
13:23Holy God!
13:25Oh, my goodness.
13:26Holy God.
13:27Oh, my goodness.
13:28That was incredible.
13:30Boom.
13:30She's great.
13:31Tell me all what I got to do.
13:33You see that?
13:35America, you see that?
13:36Nothing going right for me today.
13:38Even the elements are against me.
13:40I came here to give the fans a treat.
13:42But Wanda took my game.
13:43My essence.
13:44I got no mojo.
13:47Got nothing.
13:52You gonna play or not, Tiger?
13:59Oh, that was unbelievable, Wanda.
14:04You're terrific.
14:06Amazing.
14:08Bernie, we won.
14:11You see that there?
14:13That makes losing completely worthwhile.
14:22This is Pat O'Brien, Access Hollywood, at the Children's Charity Golf Tournament, where it turns out the big story
14:28is Bernie Mac.
14:29Spectators say the king of comedy's behavior was most uncharitable.
14:34Mac declined comment, but his people said the weather was to blame.
14:41America, you have no idea what my house has been like since that doggone charity turned me.
14:47It's like living in solitary confinement.
14:49Bernie Mac is in a prison of his own making.
14:52I mean, it's cold and lonely.
14:54And you might find this a little hard to believe, but America, sometimes I can get a little overly competitive.
15:00Oh, she still won't let me come to the table.
15:04Oh, but don't you worry, I'm gonna make it up to Wanda, and I know just how to do it.
15:32You say you love me, lady.
15:35Girl, I hope you do.
15:39Only you can save me.
15:43My life is you.
15:45Oh, please.
15:49I guess she's not in the making-up mood right yet, you know.
15:54That's all right, just let her sleep on it, you know.
15:56These things always blow over by the morning.
15:59Stop being like this.
16:01Let her put this thing in bed.
16:03One.
16:04Why you acting like this?
16:07Huh?
16:11Okay, now, what'd you get home, baby?
16:13All right.
16:15You know what the ladies, you're a hard thrower.
16:17What would you suggest I do right here, man?
16:20All right, well, from what I can tell, Wanda's a pretty smart lady.
16:23Yeah, she is, yeah.
16:23So the traditional angles aren't gonna work for you, right?
16:26She also doesn't seem to be particularly impressed with you.
16:31So, you know, the celebrity card, that's not gonna work for you.
16:35Oh, that just broke you in half, did it?
16:37Look, I'm sorry, man.
16:38I think you're...
16:40I think you're gonna have to take the sincere approach.
16:49Hey, you ready to talk about this?
16:53Huh?
16:55You are not gonna like what I have to say.
17:01You know, Bernie, you've got a real problem.
17:04Okay.
17:06Wanda, I'm a reasonable, open-minded man.
17:07Tell me what my problem is.
17:09Your problem is, is that you're only about Bernie Mac.
17:12How about a little support for me when I do well?
17:15What you talking about, babe?
17:16I do support you.
17:17I support your life, your career.
17:19Look at you.
17:20You're successful, you're smart, you're a strong woman.
17:23And I love that about you.
17:25Yeah, you only love it as long as it's convenient,
17:27as long as I stay out your spotlight.
17:29Don't get mad at me because I stole your thunder.
17:33What?
17:34Steal my thunder?
17:36Can't steal Bernie Mac's thunder.
17:38Bernie, just face it.
17:41You're not the best at everything.
17:43I am better than you at some things.
17:48All right.
17:50Name your gang.
17:51Are you for real?
17:53You hear giggling?
17:55Okay.
17:56Poker.
17:57No.
17:58Tonight.
17:59With you and the boys.
18:04You know you're signing your own death warrant.
18:06This ain't no Tupperware party.
18:08It's hardcore poker.
18:11And I'm going to tell you something, baby.
18:12There ain't no mercy in the lines, Danielle.
18:17Yeah?
18:19Yeah, man, fella.
18:20Hey!
18:22What?
18:23You lost them shifty eyes.
18:24You can't shoot a check, baby.
18:26Yeah.
18:27All right, all right, all right.
18:28What I'm missing?
18:29What I'm missing?
18:30It's the same thing that's been happening all night.
18:32Bernie and Wanda been kicking our butts.
18:34Uh-huh.
18:35Well, baby, look like it's just you and me.
18:38But you got to be in it to win it.
18:41Oh, I'm in it.
18:44I raised you 50.
18:45Ooh!
18:48You bluffing.
18:49You got to pay to find out.
18:50Well, I'm going to pay.
18:52And Daddy's about to play, because you can't bluff Daddy.
18:56You know why?
18:57Because the Mac is bringing the heat.
19:00Better yet, what you got?
19:03Kelly's fantasy, three late.
19:05Oh!
19:07What you got?
19:08What you got, Daddy?
19:09Busting.
19:10Busting.
19:11Let's move on.
19:12Oh!
19:13You bluffing, baby?
19:14Let's move on.
19:16What?
19:17Well, I got you faded.
19:20Yeah.
19:20Let's stand still.
19:22Uh-uh.
19:22Three bullets.
19:23Oh!
19:25Oh!
19:26Oh!
19:27Just when she thought.
19:28Oh!
19:29Why?
19:29Easy, that's calm.
19:30Ha!
19:31I bluffed you too, didn't I, America?
19:33Ha!
19:34Ha!
19:35Yeah.
19:36I got to go to my night job, too.
19:38Yo, man, what do you want from me, man?
19:39Oh, you're my ride.
19:39Easy.
19:40Look at here, I want to win some of my money back.
19:42And I got him on the ropes.
19:43Right.
19:45Now we can go.
19:46Ha!
19:47See, that's...
19:48Good night.
19:48Let's go.
19:49I'll see you guys.
19:50Good night.
19:51Thank you all.
19:52Bang!
19:54I guess it's, uh, down to you and me.
19:58That's all it ever was.
20:00But two people can't play poker.
20:04I'm trying ratography.
20:14Mmm.
20:15Mmm.
20:18Now, I'm craving your body, and it's real, temperatures rising, I don't want to feel, I'm in the wrong place
20:29to be real.
20:34Now, I'm mad at you.
20:38You might be mad at me, but your body's saying something different.
20:41No, Barney, I'm mad at you. Why do you always have to win?
20:45Because I'm a winner.
20:46Well, sometimes Wanda Mack wins, too.
20:50Well, maybe we both can win.
20:55That sounds good.
20:59Well, I want you to say, Wanda Mack kicked my butt, and I'm okay with it.
21:06You sure would pick a bad time and try to...
21:09Well, how are we both going to win if I say that?
21:12Wanda Mack kicked my butt.
21:15And I'm okay with it.
21:17Wanda Mack kicked my butt.
21:23Kick my butt.
21:27And I'm okay with it.
21:33I'm okay with it.
21:33I'm okay with it.
21:34No, no, no.
21:34What now?
21:35What now?
21:35I'm okay with it.
21:36Oh.
21:39Okay, now come here.
21:45See, America, that's why my marriage is so strong.
21:49Because even when we go at it, it just brings us closer together.
21:53Now, see, I know Bernie Mack is a flaw, a foible man, and sometimes he needs help.
21:59Charity from someone who can bring him back from the edge of ugliness.
22:03That's where Wanda comes in.
22:05See, my baby, she's charitable.
22:07Throws me a life preserve when I get in too deep.
22:10Even if I pointed out that I'm a damn fool.
22:14America is true what they say.
22:16Charity really does begin at home.
22:24Miss it, miss it, miss it!
22:27What is all this Bernie versus Damon stuff I've been hearing about all day?
22:31I mean, why would anybody...
22:32Whoa, that chick's hot.
22:35I've got to remember to ask Lucy where she got her top.
22:39Why does Wanda keep staring at my chest?
22:42She's got nice ones.
22:54I'm so glad you're here.
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