The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:22Oh, hey, America, how you doing?
00:24I'm just very put out there for a moment.
00:27American Bernie Mac is vexed.
00:29Listen, I walked in the kitchen, and I see trash is overrunning.
00:33Smell nasty, funky, foul.
00:36So I asked Vanessa why she didn't take the trash out like I told her.
00:40She had the audacity to look me in the eye and bold-faced lie, I tell you.
00:44Said I never told her.
00:46When I know good and well, I tell you.
00:49It's pathological.
00:51That's why I banished her to her room just now.
00:55What you laughing at?
00:56You told me to take out the trash.
00:58Well, why are you doing it, then?
01:00Uh-oh.
01:05I could have sworn I gave Vanessa that chore.
01:09These kids got me all discombobulated.
01:12So I guess I'll punish the poor girl for nothing.
01:16But I'm sure she'll do something later on.
01:19So what was I getting ready to do, America?
01:23What was that?
01:25Oh, yeah.
01:26Just give me one minute.
01:27Come here, boy!
01:33Damn girl, you save my keys?
01:34Uh-uh.
01:35You sure?
01:38Uncle Bernie, pull my finger.
01:39What?
01:40Uncle Bernie, Harry, pull my finger.
01:42Well, don't you sound busy?
01:43I'll pull it.
01:44Ain't nobody pulling nothing.
01:45Uncle Bernie, Harry.
01:47I can't hold it much longer.
01:48Pull my finger.
01:49Boy, you better not pass no gas up in here.
01:51Go in the bathroom like you got some doggone saps.
01:53Hey, too late.
01:56You stankin'.
01:57Uh, uh, Nessa, Verona?
02:00Uh-uh.
02:02Jordan!
02:03Thank you, Verona.
02:03Jordan!
02:04You know, you know better than that.
02:07What's I lookin' for?
02:09Y'all see what these kids doin' to me?
02:12I can't think no more.
02:14They make my brain hot.
02:16It's like I got a George Foreman grill in my head, and I gotta drain the grease.
02:20If they keep it up, I'm gonna lose my mind.
02:24And I know they gonna keep it up.
02:27You know it, too.
02:28All right, car seat, backpack, jacket, I think we got everything.
02:33No, no, no, you don't.
02:35You ain't bringing that drippy mess in my car.
02:37Mom, I'm not finished.
02:38Throw it away.
02:39I don't want to.
02:40Throw it away.
02:41I don't want to.
02:42Pull it.
02:47Uncle Bernie!
02:49Uncle Bernie!
02:53Hey, Wanda.
02:54Mm-hmm?
02:56I think something's wrong with me.
02:57I can't remember now.
02:59I'm losing my memory.
03:00Don't worry, baby.
03:01It happens to everyone once in a while.
03:04Yeah.
03:05But I ain't talkin' to everyone once in a while.
03:07It keeps up.
03:08Baby girl gonna be on a milk card.
03:12Hey, Wanda.
03:13Mm-hmm?
03:14You think I got a brain tumor or memory cancer?
03:18Maybe you should just write things down.
03:21Yeah.
03:22She's right.
03:23I just need a little help on keeping things straight.
03:26I'm not gonna let those little devils kill my brain cell.
03:30Oh, no.
03:30See, that's where technology come in.
03:32Look, check it out.
03:33It got a to-do list, an address book,
03:36and a section where I can write my little reminder notes,
03:39like kill Jordan and kill Vanessa.
03:42Tell baby girl her brother and sister ran away.
03:44Hey, I need to get that down.
03:49Where'd I put the little pen thing in?
03:55I just had this.
04:01Y'all see it?
04:03I cannot believe it.
04:05I hear this thing right around here.
04:07Oh, man.
04:09Oh.
04:11Oh, my knee.
04:15Oh, Lord.
04:30Oh, my knee.
04:32Bernie, it looks like a drugstore in here.
04:34Are you OK?
04:36A couple of few nagging little things bother me, baby.
04:40There's no doggone kids, man.
04:41They wear me down like a virus.
04:43But you better believe I'm fighting back.
04:45With the miracle of modern menace, I'm fighting back.
04:48Bernie, I don't use hair dye.
04:51It's mine, baby.
04:52But you've been getting gray hair since you were 20.
04:56My head.
05:00Oh.
05:02Well, as long as everything still works,
05:04I wouldn't worry about it.
05:08Oh!
05:10Uncle Bernie, we've decided that we don't want fish tonight.
05:14What do you mean you've decided?
05:15Well, we took a vote, and we want royal burger.
05:19What do you mean you took a vote?
05:21Royal burger!
05:22Royal burger!
05:23Royal burger!
05:24Royal burger!
05:24Royal burger!
05:25Hey, hey, hey, ain't no royal burger or nothing.
05:27Royal or nothing.
05:28We're making fish.
05:29Royal burger's got fish.
05:31It's got fish.
05:32It's got fun.
05:34It's got everything.
05:36Look, look, look, look.
05:37Shut up!
05:37I can see what they're doing,
05:39but they can't break me down.
05:41I'm fully medicated.
05:42Stop bouncing, baby, Bill.
05:44Stop it!
05:44But you promised you'd make a small burger.
05:47You promised.
05:48Light, light, light, light, light, light, light, light, light, light.
05:53You called him a lion?
05:59Yes.
06:00Let's go.
06:01Let's go.
06:01Let's go.
06:03Let's go.
06:04Let's go.
06:05Let's go.
06:07Let's go.
06:08Uncle Bernie?
06:09Is he okay?
06:10Are you all right?
06:19Ow!
06:22Well, your heart is fine.
06:24You just had an attack of acute acid reflux.
06:27Painful, but far from fatal.
06:31Doc, is that like a heartburn?
06:33Yes.
06:34You see, as we get older, fatty foods, alcohol, overeating can really take a toll.
06:39So you said I ended up in the ER because I ate too much?
06:42Well, that could be a cause, but sometimes it's just stress.
06:45Do you have any new sources of stress in your life?
06:54Look, the fact is, Mr. Mack, you're getting older.
06:56And as much as we'd all like to, you can't stop the aging process.
07:03You just can't stop it.
07:05I'm talking about the aging process.
07:08It didn't even start until these kids came around.
07:10But I'll tell you one thing, America.
07:12I'm not gonna let it send me to my grave before my time.
07:16No, sir.
07:16Because Mack Man is gonna fight back.
07:19I'm gonna change my way of life.
07:21Get back to my old self like I was back in the day.
07:25Maximum Mack, baby.
07:36Hey, can you tear down your oldies?
07:38I'm trying to do my homework.
07:39What?
07:41I'm listening to my music.
07:43I don't say nothing to you, Nessa, when you listen to that crap you call music.
07:46Yes, you do.
07:46Well, it's my house.
07:48You want some privacy?
07:49Why don't you go to the library at one of your friends' home?
07:52You got a lot of nerve, man.
07:54Talking about you listening to Mary J. Blige, those street boys and all that bull.
08:01Talking about oldies.
08:04This is music.
08:05Talking about guises.
08:06You got so many voices.
08:10Sing over the dicen
08:14Givin' up all around me.
08:18Bases wanna pay
08:21Got a fight the powers at beat
08:24Got it, baby
08:27Yeah
08:29Even you, and I can
08:30Back the power
08:31Come on
08:32Fight it
08:34Fight the power
08:41She had to do the call with my music oldies, man.
08:44The Isaac brother ain't oldies, man.
08:46The Isaac brother's goodies.
08:48Bernie, when the last time you seen Ronald Isley?
08:51That brother about 97 years old, man.
08:53Come on, man. Come on.
08:55Okay, okay, okay. He's old.
08:57That'll make us old for listening to him now, Kelly.
09:00Come on, now. Ain't none of us old. Right?
09:03Uh, uh, fellas, looky here.
09:06Re-film.
09:07Oh, that's a good hand.
09:08You won, man. You won, man.
09:10You won.
09:11Hey, hey, that's it for me, man. I'm done.
09:14Come on, what you mean you're done, man?
09:16Joey, what you be talking about? Man, it's early. It's only 10.30.
09:19Yo, I gotta get going, too, man.
09:21Why you gotta get going?
09:23Man, look here. We used to play, man, all night long, man.
09:26Come on, we ain't never left like this, man. What's the problem now?
09:28We got kids now, man. You know, I...
09:30Oh, I see.
09:32See? You ain't got no kids.
09:34Yeah, I'm just old, man.
09:35He ain't lying about that.
09:37Oh, man, come on, Kelly. You ain't old. Ain't none of us old, man.
09:40Come on, just play one more.
09:42Joey, come on.
09:47Bam!
09:50Yo, you win, dog.
09:52Look, I gotta go crash, man.
09:55Come on, what you mean you're going to crash, big fella?
09:57Come on, you ain't never did me like this.
09:59Yo, man, it's 3 a.m.
10:01If I don't get no sleep soon, I'm going to pay for it in the morning.
10:04Okay, okay, fine.
10:06Go on.
10:07Take your lightweight with you. Go on.
10:09Oh, man.
10:10You ain't never did this to me, man.
10:11Come on, man.
10:12You're old school.
10:14Man, it's 3 a.m.
10:16If I don't get my abuse to sleep, I'm going to pay for it in the morning.
10:19Please.
10:19Back in the day, I could stay up all night, sleep an hour, and wake up fresh.
10:24Uncle Bernie.
10:26Uncle Bernie.
10:30Uncle Bernie.
10:31Baby girl, please stop hollering.
10:34Please.
10:34Uncle Bernie, are you dying?
10:39If God have mercy on me.
10:43Uncle Bernie.
10:57Mm, it's nice.
11:03Oh, yeah, yes, it is.
11:07I'm sorry.
11:16Twenty-three seconds.
11:19That's humbling.
11:21What y'all looking at?
11:23Oh, you think I'm some kind of old man?
11:25You think my best day is behind me?
11:30Maybe they are.
11:40Uncle Bernie, will you play with me?
11:42Not now, baby girl.
11:43Not now.
11:45No, look.
11:46What?
11:52Daddy and me, basketball.
11:53Come join the fun.
11:55Baby girl, I don't know.
11:56I'm too old.
11:57I don't think I could be able to do that.
11:58My body worn out, sweetheart.
12:00I ain't got it like that.
12:05I know one thing.
12:06Back in the day, I used to play basketball
12:08from sunup to sundown.
12:10Yes, sir.
12:11The only reason I stopped,
12:12we didn't have no street lights.
12:14And I used to rule the court, too.
12:16People used to come see me play all around.
12:18Come on.
12:19Come on, let's go, man.
12:20That's the way you want.
12:21Look at me.
12:22And I'm going to tell you something else.
12:24That's exactly what you and me are going to do.
12:27And you know what else?
12:28We're going to win, too.
12:29Yeah!
12:30Come on, want me to show you some of my moves?
12:32Come on.
12:33I'm going to run in, too.
12:36Baby girl, watch me school these guys.
12:38What's up, you squads?
12:40Can I run with y'all?
12:46I guess, man.
12:47Yeah.
12:48Come on, old man.
12:49Can old man do this?
12:50Huh?
12:50Go school.
12:51Take it down.
12:52Get up.
12:53I heard you sound like this old man.
12:55Look at that.
12:56Yeah.
12:56Why you all like that?
12:57Yeah.
12:57Oh, oh.
12:59Oh, oh, oh.
12:59What's up, man?
13:00I'm going to be in the hot.
13:00Look, look, look, look.
13:01Huh?
13:02Shoot.
13:03My butt!
13:05Hey.
13:06Last move.
13:07Ah.
13:08Ah.
13:08Oh, man.
13:08It's all right.
13:09It's all right.
13:09Uncle Bernie.
13:10You look good, don't look.
13:15You did.
13:33Yeah, it's true, America.
13:35The kids won.
13:37I'm over the hill now.
13:39My time has passed.
13:42I'm trying to fight,
13:42it only makes you look foolish.
13:44Like Fat Elvis or Little Richard.
13:47Whoo, I ain't got time for that.
13:49From now on,
13:50I gotta slow down.
13:52Act my age.
13:54I'm not gone, America.
13:57I need to get my rest.
14:06Oh, Bernie, you look miserable.
14:09Isn't there any way I could make you more comfortable?
14:12Oh, Wanda, don't do that.
14:14Don't do that.
14:16You know you can do,
14:17cause when I sit up, my back hurt.
14:21When I lay down,
14:23my reflux start kicking in.
14:25Well, why don't you sit in your chair, Lou?
14:27I can't.
14:29I have rights.
14:31Well, nurse Wanda is running out to the store.
14:34But when she gets back,
14:36she'll give you a little sponge bath.
14:39Not a patient like that.
14:41Oh, Wanda!
14:42My neck.
14:44Hmm.
14:50Get away from me!
14:52John, John, stop it.
14:53Stop it.
14:53You're making a mess.
14:55John!
14:56Did John hear what I...
14:57Boy, you didn't look at this mess you're making.
15:00I'm gonna whoop...
15:01I'm gonna whoop his ass.
15:02I'm not kidding.
15:03John!
15:03Look at this.
15:05I'm gonna whoop his ass.
15:06I ain't...
15:07John!
15:10John!
15:11You think I'm playing?
15:12You think I ain't playing around here?
15:14I'm not playing.
15:15Boy, I'll tell you.
15:16Whoop your ass!
15:24Who in the heck am I kidding?
15:26I couldn't whoop his ass if my life depended on him.
15:30I'm too old to be running around after kids.
15:33I might really hurt myself.
15:35Well, from now on, Birdie Max retired.
15:40Now, I got time to catch up on my read.
15:56Dento Sparkle is fast-acting.
15:59One effervescent tablet will clean those yellow dentures in their thirties.
16:04You better think.
16:06Think about what you're trying to do to me.
16:09Think.
16:10Think, think.
16:11Let your mind go, let yourself be free.
16:13Let's go back, let's go back, let's go on the way back when.
16:18I didn't even know you, you couldn't have been too much more than teens.
16:22I ain't no psychiatrist, I ain't no doctor in the greens.
16:26But it don't take too much time to see what you're doing to me
16:30You better think, think, think about what you're trying to do to me, yeah
16:36Think, think, let your mind go, let yourself be free
16:39Oh, freedom, freedom, freedom, oh, freedom
16:46Yeah, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom
16:55Hey, hey, hey, hey, what you doing?
16:57You were asleep.
16:58I wasn't asleep, I was resting my eyes.
17:01Turn it back.
17:02There ain't nothing to do for that time, I meant to do what I want
17:05But I was gonna change, I'm not if you keep doing things I don't
17:10You better think, think, think about what you're trying to do to me, oh
17:14Think, think, let your mind go, let yourself be free
17:19People walking around, everything, playing games, take your soul
17:23I'm gonna be soothing, I'll never have before you don't do your own thing
17:28Ernie, get out of bed
17:31For what, I'm telling you, I ain't in no shape, man
17:34Baby, I've been trying to get up all day
17:37Brianna's basketball game
17:40I can't play no basketball
17:41I know, I'm telling you, my back hurt and everything, man
17:44I ain't gonna be able to do that
17:46Oh, you don't have to play
17:47I got WB to fill in
17:49I knew you wouldn't be able to
17:52What?
17:53You obviously aren't feeling up to it
17:55Do you think you're strong enough to go down and watch?
17:57Strong enough?
17:59Well, after the other night
18:02The other night?
18:03Why she gotta bring that up?
18:05That's a sensitive subject, America
18:07Now she got WB taking my spot
18:10That's ridiculous, I mean ludicrous, absurd
18:13I'm still here
18:15I may be a lot of things, but I ain't there yet
18:18And even if it kills me, I'm not gonna be replaced
18:21No, sir
18:22There ain't no substitute for Bernie Mac
18:32Substitute, rep!
18:43Uncle Bernie!
18:44Yo, man, what are you doing here?
18:45Hey, man, thanks for holding down, man
18:47But I had to do it for baby girl
18:49Oh, man, that's all good, dawg
18:52Yo, I'm glad to see Bernie Mac is back
18:54Oh, I'm back
18:55Oh, indeed
18:55What's up?
18:56The girl, she goes to her left
19:01How many daddies do you have?
19:07Baby girl, you ain't seen nothing yet
19:09I'm telling you
19:14That's the last time that's gonna happen
19:18Hey, what's up?
19:20What's up?
19:20Baby girl, catch
19:22Here
19:23Let's go, baby
19:33Come on, baby girl
19:34Come on, baby girl
19:41Come on, baby girl
19:43Yeah!
19:44Reject!
19:46Violation!
19:47What you talking about?
19:48Sir, you cannot block or shot like that
19:50Baby, I'm trying to win the game
19:52Man, that's how we did it back in the day
19:53Come on!
19:53Sir, this is not a competitive event
19:55At Wellington, all the kids are winners
19:57I bet you that team don't win
19:58I guarantee you
19:59My team gonna win
20:01Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you
20:02Just to calm down
20:03Calm down?
20:03What you mean calm down?
20:04What you gonna do if I don't?
20:05You give me a technical?
20:06Sir, again, this is a kid's game
20:08There are no technicals
20:09Then I gotta calm down
20:11This basketball
20:12This ain't field hockey
20:15Technical!
20:16Come on!
20:17What you mean?
20:18Only reason you called it
20:19Because I'm black
20:19Only reason
20:20There's some boo
20:23Hey, baby
20:24I'm back
20:36You know what?
20:38That felt real good
20:40I mean, I landed on my head and all
20:43But you know, the thrill of victory
20:45Is worth a couple more weeks
20:46Than this here scooter
20:48See, everyone gets old
20:49Whether you got kids or not
20:51But I mean, so what?
20:53The truth is, I like being old
20:56I like my music
20:57I like my movies
20:58And I truly like who the heck I am
21:01I'm not just getting better with age
21:04I mean like fine wine
21:05No matter how old I get
21:08I'll still be the Mac Man
21:12Honey
21:13Can you help me?
21:14Yeah
21:15I think I found a gray hair
21:17Put down, let me see it, baby
21:19Not on my head
21:22Drop it like it's hot
21:23Ooh
21:30He'll ride home
21:31Drop it like it's hot
21:33Nah
21:33Nah
22:04Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
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