The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:20Man, I'm tired.
00:22I'm too tired to talk.
00:25I'm too tired to eat.
00:26I'm too tired...
00:29Well, I ain't never that tired.
00:32I'm even too tired to laugh.
00:35Let me tell you something.
00:37Boarding school.
00:38Send your kids to boarding school.
00:40America.
00:41You know those schools that were invented for rich folks
00:43who didn't have time for their kids?
00:46Man, let me tell you.
00:47I used to judge them.
00:48I used to think real low of them people.
00:51Not anymore.
00:52See, now I understand.
00:53If you can afford it,
00:55and you got the opportunity,
00:56send your kids to boarding school.
00:59Shoot.
01:00Me?
01:01I can afford it.
01:06I just ain't got the opportunity.
01:10Doing real good.
01:11Doing all over the place.
01:12Got plenty money.
01:20Bernie, wake up.
01:21It's time for school.
01:22I don't feel like getting up right now, baby.
01:25I made the kids lunches,
01:26and I fixed a pot of oatmeal.
01:28Make sure that Jordan eats.
01:30His blood sugar is low.
01:31I picked out a cute outfit for Brianna.
01:33I wish I could see her.
01:35Come on, Bernie.
01:36Don't make them late for their first day.
01:39Baby, I got a full half an hour.
01:41Ain't nobody going to be late.
01:44You want it to be a daddy?
01:46Get to daddy it.
01:51What's up?
01:52What's the news?
01:53Time to do it.
01:54Come on, now.
01:56All right, let's go.
01:56Let's go.
01:57Let's get up.
01:58Jordan, let's get up.
01:59Where baby girl at?
02:01Come on, Anessa.
02:04I bet if I stop feeding you,
02:05you'll have something to say.
02:07Come on, now, Jordan.
02:08Get up.
02:08I'm feeling good.
02:09Jordan, don't even try that.
02:11And where the hell is baby girl at?
02:12Right here.
02:13Hey.
02:14Now, what were you, baby girl?
02:16I was having a BM.
02:19BM?
02:20Oh, you mean you were doing number two?
02:23No.
02:24I was having a BM.
02:27Number two is how baby said.
02:30Okay, I'm sorry.
02:31You're right.
02:31You're not a baby.
02:33You're a big girl.
02:34No, I'm not a big girl.
02:37I'm a princess.
02:40Okay, I understand.
02:41I get it.
02:42Yeah.
02:43Okay, princess.
02:44Let's get dressed.
02:45Okay.
02:51Yesterday, she wanted to be a goldfish.
02:54That's okay.
02:55She'll learn.
02:56But I got into Wellington, the number one preschooler in the Southland.
03:02Man, look at this brochure.
03:03Fancy.
03:04Look at the kids on here.
03:06They even look smart.
03:08Just brimming with knowledge.
03:10Baby girl gonna be on this.
03:11You watch, you see.
03:12I just can't wait until baby girl experience some of this quality teaching.
03:17We don't teach.
03:19We've replaced the word teach with reach.
03:22We reach the children by focusing on what they want to do.
03:27Oh, I heard about this.
03:28It's child-centric.
03:30Exactly.
03:31Well, it sounds like to me, ma'am, that you're letting the kids run to school.
03:35Yes.
03:36What type of program is that?
03:38So you mean to tell me if a person wants to sit in their urine, that's what they're gonna learn?
03:42Hey, class, Jimmy wants to sit in his urine, so we're gonna learn urine sitting.
03:47That's crazy.
03:48I'm sorry, y'all.
03:50I just don't understand.
03:51I'm sorry.
03:52I just don't understand.
03:54I mean, what's next?
03:55You gonna start allowing the boys to wear dresses?
03:58Oh, see, we do our best not to stereotype the children into traditional roles.
04:05We here at Wellington have always had a gender-neutral policy.
04:09Gender-neutral?
04:10So girls don't have to grow up thinking that they only have to be housewives or subservient to men.
04:15I think that's great.
04:18You won't find any Wellington girls hanging around waiting for their knight in shining armor.
04:25Yes, honey.
04:26I'm a princess.
04:31I know you're a princess, but at school you gotta dress like a little girl.
04:35But now, little girl, I'm a princess.
04:39My honor, listen, Uncle Bernie ain't got a lot of time.
04:43Now, on Halloween you can wear anything you wanna wear, but for the first day of school, you gotta change.
04:50Now, will you do that for Uncle Bernie?
04:51Okay.
04:52Good.
04:53Uncle Bernie?
04:54Yes, sweetheart.
04:55Yes, sweetheart.
04:55Will you do my hair?
04:57Oh, baby.
04:58Uncle Bernie don't know how to do your hair.
05:00Hold on.
05:01But master, come out here and do baby girl's hair.
05:04She asked you.
05:05I heard it.
05:06Do it yourself.
05:07I ain't your damn slave.
05:09Please, Uncle Bernie, for me.
05:14All right, baby girl, come on.
05:16I'll do the best I can.
05:18Go ahead now.
05:19Go on in there.
05:21Little girl, good.
05:23Okay.
05:25Hmm.
05:26Hmm.
05:27How do you want your hair, baby?
05:29Pretty.
05:31Pretty.
05:32Okay.
05:34Okay, let me see how I wear them all.
05:36Should I do the back first, or I'm gonna do the front and then work back?
05:40Do I comb it front?
05:41All right, let's try there.
05:43Let's...
05:44Let me see.
05:49Bernie?
05:51I'm sorry, baby.
05:52I'm sorry.
06:01Looking back on when I was a little nappy-headed boy
06:10Then my only worry
06:12Was for Christmas
06:13What would be my door?
06:19Even though we sometimes
06:21Would not get a thing
06:23We were happy with the
06:26Joy that day would bring
06:28Sneaking out the back door
06:30Hang out with those food lumpings of mine
06:45Oh, baby girl, you know what?
06:47I'm gonna fix you a real nice tomorrow
06:50But we ain't got a lot of time now
06:51We gotta go, okay?
06:53Okay
06:53Good
06:55Uncle Bernie?
06:56Yes, baby
06:57I don't look like a princess
07:01You do to me
07:03Always, hear?
07:06Oh, come here
07:09I know it looks raggedy
07:11But she's so cute
07:12She'll be able to pull it off
07:14Plus, she's only five years old
07:17Who's she gonna impress?
07:19I got one down
07:21And two to go
07:23Uncle Bernie, I can't go to school today
07:26I don't feel good
07:28I'm not playing, Jordan
07:32I'm not
07:40Go away
07:41It's me
07:47I don't think I'm going to school today
07:49Why?
07:49You sick?
07:51Nah, I just don't think I'm going
07:52Why?
07:53So you can stay home with Bernie Mac?
07:55I'm going to school
07:56Yeah, I think I'll start with some wheezing
07:59Then I'll make myself throw up
08:02And I'll stay in bed and watch TV all day
08:07Maybe I'll eat some of those cookies Uncle Bernie hid from us
08:10Let's go, let's go!
08:11Come on now
08:12Well, good luck
08:13Here comes Bigfoot
08:24Jordan, get out that dog on bed, man
08:27We gotta go
08:27I'm sick today
08:29I'm sick every day, Jordan
08:30Come on, get up
08:31We gotta go, man
08:32We should both stay home and get better
08:34Maybe we should both go to the movies, Jordan, huh?
08:36Really?
08:36Get out that dog on bed
08:37Get up in there, boy
08:40Get up
08:41That boy ain't sick
08:43That boy's stupid
08:44He ain't like I ain't never tried that trick
08:46If the boy was good, he had the chicken pox
08:49Try to use emotion against me
08:50It ain't gonna work
08:52It's all about discipline, baby
08:54And America?
08:56You can do it too, baby
08:58Yes, sir
08:58They gonna cry
08:59They gonna whine
09:00They gonna beg
09:01Try to make you feel guilty
09:03Don't go for it
09:04You gotta be strong
09:05That's why that boy going to Catholic school
09:08I'm talking about discipline
09:16You wouldn't believe some of the malarkey going around
09:19Some of the schools are peddling this child-centric hooey
09:24If you believe that, I got a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for you
09:28What do you do to encourage a child's self-expression?
09:31Doing as you're told is the only expression of the self we're interested in
09:34Amen
09:35That's what I'm talking about
09:37We'll have none of that shouting in here, if you please
09:39I'm sorry
09:41So you guys teach?
09:44Of course we teach
09:45What the hell kind of question is that?
09:47I'm sorry, your discipline ship
09:48I am so sorry
09:50Continue
09:52Father Damien
09:54Dedicated his life to the lepers on the island of Molokai
09:58No one could understand why he would devote himself to such horrible
10:02Wretched
10:04Filthy, withered creatures
10:08And I'd like to think that here at Damien, we follow his example
10:12Now don't get me wrong
10:14I'd never compare children to lepers
10:16No, I'd never do that
10:19The lepers were grateful
10:24This guy kind of scares me
10:26I know
10:27He doesn't think great
10:31Joy, get up boy
10:32I'm gonna count to three, get up
10:34I don't feel good
10:35Feel better, one
10:37But I'm pleasing
10:39Please your butt to the bathroom, boy, two
10:41I'm gonna throw him off
10:43I'm about to throw down three
10:45Get your butt on out of this dog, old man
10:47Get ready for school
10:48Why are you running, Jordan?
10:49What you scared of?
10:50Huh?
10:52Jordan, you don't have to be afraid of Father Cronin
10:55Just do your work
10:56No, I'm afraid of him
11:02Jesus?
11:04You don't have to be afraid of Jesus
11:05He is a little scary
11:07Wanda, watch what you say around the board
11:09Jesus ain't scary
11:10You know what I mean
11:12Catholics like to show you every detail
11:14Sometimes they just keep it a little too real for me
11:17No offense, Jesus
11:21I want him to get a good education
11:23And God is important
11:25But I'm not sure we should be shoving religion down his throat
11:29Wanda, can I get some support around here, please?
11:31I'm not shoving anything down his throat
11:33Jordan, if I had to come over there and shove it down your throat
11:36Brother, I will
11:37Now eat
11:39I don't want old meal
11:41I don't want you fainting at school, man
11:43Because you didn't eat
11:44Now you know you're soft
11:44Eat, Jordan
11:47Uncle Bear
11:48Yes
11:48I think you're going to throw up
11:51Jordan, you better not be trying to make yourself throw up
11:53I'm not kidding
11:53Now you can do it
11:55Swallow
11:55You're halfway there, Jordan
11:57Look at you
11:57Swallow
11:58You're doing it
11:59Swallow
12:00Swallow
12:00Swallow
12:02Swallow
12:02Swallow
12:03Swallow
12:03Son
12:05You did it
12:06Now that wasn't so hard
12:07It wasn't Jordan
12:09Here
12:09Wash it down with some juice
12:11There you go, son
12:13I'm proud of you
12:14Strong
12:15You don't know you got it
12:17It's in you
12:17I'm bringing it out, you son
12:19You can do anything you want to do
12:21You know why?
12:22Because you're a Mac
12:24Nobody tell you
12:25You're different
12:25You're a Mac, boy
12:27Am I right, baby?
12:30What?
12:38Uncle Bernie
12:39Mm-hmm
12:40Jordan's coming up
12:44I ain't going to make it
12:47Y'all, I ain't going to make it
12:49Bernie Mac ain't never been laid a day in his life
12:52This is my second
12:55Second
12:55Favorite silk shirt
13:03I ain't going to make it
13:07Didn't I tell you to put your clothes on, Jordan?
13:09Come here
13:10I got you
13:11Uh-huh
13:12Uh-huh
13:13You thought I didn't see you now, didn't you?
13:15Uh-huh
13:16Uh-huh
13:17You tried to sneak by me now, didn't you?
13:20Uh-huh
13:20Uh-huh
13:21Now give me what you promised me
13:22Give me, Jim
13:23Come on!
13:27Good God
13:28Good God
13:33You made me a promise
13:35And you're going to stick to it
13:39You shouldn't have promised
13:40If you wasn't going to do it
13:44You saw me and land in another direction
13:49I'll teach you to play with my affection
13:54Now give it here
13:55You never should have promised to me
13:57Give it here
13:58Don't hold back
13:59Now give it here
14:00Don't say nothing
14:02Just give it here
14:03Come on
14:03Give it here
14:04Uh-huh
14:05Give it here
14:05Uh-huh
14:06Give it here
14:07Give it here
14:08Give it to the lock
14:09I got you
14:12I promise to me
14:14I got you
14:14You never should have promised to me
14:16I got you
14:17Give it on here
14:19I got you
14:19You thought you got away from me
14:21Then you cut the door
14:22I got you
14:23I got you
14:25Yeah, got you
14:27Sit down
14:33Let's go
14:41I hate my hair
14:44Nelson
14:44You got very little time
14:46Whatever you doing
14:47You got to finish it
14:48Come on out, baby
14:49You already missed breakfast
14:50Good
14:51I ain't hungry
14:52I ain't playing, baby
14:53Let's go
14:54I ain't playing, baby
14:55Let's go
14:56Shut up
14:59What did you say in there?
15:01Nothing
15:01What did you say in there?
15:04Keep on
15:06Maybe I should shave it all off
15:09What does it matter anyways?
15:11Oh, what does it matter anyway?
15:14It's to teachers that are getting tested nowadays
15:17I mean, you know
15:18It's freaking upside down
15:19So are you saying they don't care if the kids do their homework?
15:22No, I'm saying that they don't bother to give it anymore
15:24I mean, what's the point, right?
15:27Look
15:27Uh, maybe I'm being a little harsh here
15:30There are many kids that are doing very well
15:33And many teachers really care
15:35But for the most part
15:37Everybody tries to not be part of the problem
15:39You know what I'm saying?
15:40I hope that helps with your research
15:42My research?
15:43Yes, I was told that you were doing research for a part in a movie
15:46Aren't you famous?
15:49No, I mean, yes
15:50But we're here to enroll our needs in the school
15:52Oh
15:53Too late for private school?
15:55No, actually
15:56She had three interviews
15:58But none of them responded to what she had to say
16:00What'd she say?
16:04Oh
16:06Welcome to Baja Vista
16:12Now that wasn't so hard, was it, baby girl?
16:15Uncle Bernie said do something and you did it
16:17Let's try it again
16:18Now grab your school bag
16:20Let's hop in the car, honey
16:21One, two
16:22Hey, that's all you're taking to school?
16:24Because if it is, I'm
16:25Lord
16:28I know you test me, right?
16:31You send the devil down here to tell me what evil thoughts?
16:35You're testing my faith
16:37Thoughts of killing
16:39I know it ain't right
16:42I ain't letting go, I believe
16:43I do believe
16:46Father
16:49You say you never forsake me
16:51Don't forsake me
16:53Give me some peace
16:58Peace
17:00You are not gonna be late for school, baby
17:02Who cares?
17:03Because they don't take attendance anyway
17:05Girl, don't you care about going to school, Nessa?
17:07What you gonna be without education?
17:09Maybe I'll be a comedian like you
17:12Oh, you got it down pat
17:14You so smart
17:15You know, you might as well hold a class
17:16I can't do my hair
17:22Look here, Nessa
17:23Madison, it's been a rough morning
17:25I lost two of my favorite shirts
17:27I've been covered with hair grease and vomit
17:30I got arthritis in my hands, baby
17:33For braiding all those black Barbie dolls hair
17:35I'm out of high blood pressure, Madison
17:38It has not been a good day
17:40Now I know
17:41You wanna look good for the first day of school
17:44And I understand that
17:46And I know you're a teenager
17:48And you're very sensitive
17:50To teenage stuff
17:52I understand that
17:55But, Nessa
17:56You got to understand this
17:58Your Uncle Bernie loves you
18:00Okay?
18:02But we gotta get moving
18:07Y'all didn't think I could be the bigger man, did you?
18:14Nessa?
18:16I guess I can live with this
18:24Thank you
18:25See?
18:26Girl, I don't know what you were worried about
18:28You look great
18:28Now, come on, we gotta go
18:30You can finish doing your hair in the car
18:35What?
18:36What'd I say?
18:38Black women
18:39You need to get less sensitive about your dog on hair
18:41Too soft
18:44Black women, stop losing weight
18:46Okay, how do you want it?
18:49Pretty like yours
18:50You think my hair's pretty?
18:53Yeah
18:57I'm the beautiful princess
18:59And you're the beautiful queen
19:03And you know what?
19:04Why don't you go ahead
19:05And put that princess costume back on
19:07I can't
19:09Uncle Bernie won't let me
19:11Well, I told Uncle Bernie it's okay
19:14No, no, no
19:14Let's go, let's go
19:15You still can make it on time, baby
19:17Let's go
19:1730 seconds
19:18In the car
19:19Uncle Bernie is still in your fridge
19:22Oh, my lord, have mercy
19:25What you laughing at, son?
19:27I can see your mule
19:28Jordan, get in the car
19:29One minute, one minute
19:30Everybody in the car
19:31Tell me you can still see my mule nosy
19:33That's a damn coat bottle
19:34Let's go!
19:35Oh, Uncle Bernie
19:37I did Brianna's hair
19:38And I dressed her
19:39That's a thing
19:39Oh, lord!
19:44All right
19:45Let's go, your hiler
19:47Let's go, sweetheart
19:48Let your teacher deal with it
19:59Okay, baby girl
20:00Oh, I can walk by myself
20:04Hey, Nessa
20:06Thank you for doing baby girl's hair
20:09It looks nice
20:10I know
20:16Hey!
20:17Hey!
20:18Your hair looks nice, too
20:19I'm late
20:22She is evil
20:25All right
20:25Come on, my man
20:27Oh, Jordan, man
20:28I know you're scared
20:30Adjustment takes time
20:32Everybody's scared of school
20:33At one time or another
20:34I remember
20:35Jordan!
20:39You're not a fat little faker
20:43Taking me through all of this
20:45I'm gonna say it again
20:47Boarding school
20:48Send them away
20:50The further, the better
20:52Europe
20:53Asia
20:54Ethiopia
20:55Jerusalem
20:56Germany
20:57Out
20:58Some way
20:59You're gonna get
20:59Peace of mind, baby
21:00Any other solution
21:02Sends you to prison
21:08I just realized something
21:10I gotta do it again tomorrow
21:18Hold on
21:19You dropped
21:28Wordwilling, stop losing weight
21:33Can't say nothing
21:35Oh, fat people!
21:37Forget about it.
21:41What? No.
21:43Midgets! I ain't gonna say nothing.
21:45You'll probably take a little of me.
21:49Cut the camera off.
21:52Homosec... No, move on.
21:55Move on.
22:04Man.
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