The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:00Who are you with?
00:16The one thing I've learned as a parent,
00:20you've got to carve out your own time and your own space
00:23just so nobody won't get killed.
00:28America, you know I've spent the last three years
00:30wrestling with those doggone kids,
00:32establishing control in my house,
00:34and finally, and I do mean finally,
00:39I've got things where I want them.
00:41Look at this.
00:45Bath rocks.
00:47You run you some hot water in the bath,
00:50hot as you can take it,
00:51and then you pour these rocks in,
00:54and they make your ass smell springtime fresh.
00:58A little salt around the rim of the tub
01:00makes you feel like a lime in a warm margarita.
01:13Baby girl, no, go back to your room.
01:16Go back.
01:23You yelled at her.
01:25She had no business looking at my business.
01:28Okay, honey, you're right.
01:30But you know what?
01:31Let's think about Brianna for a second here, okay?
01:33Okay.
01:34I think you should check on her.
01:36Just let her know you're not mad at her.
01:40Yeah, I'm right.
01:41All right, honey.
01:43Get dressed up.
01:45Get out of here.
01:46But I need to update my blog.
01:48I don't care.
01:49Hey, hey, let the boy update his blog.
01:51You don't even know what a blog is.
01:54Hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:55Don't be walking away from me up in my house.
02:01Go, go, go.
02:02Back to the room.
02:05The Taliban have it right.
02:07Cover up the whole face and all those things.
02:10What do you call them?
02:11Uh, uh, burkas.
02:13Yeah, at least for teenage girls.
02:16Hey, Char-Jar-Jar, let me talk to baby girl alone for a minute.
02:20But I need to change it up my pajamas.
02:21Sleep in your clothes.
02:23Aw, but it's my room too.
02:25You're gonna be sleeping in a coffin if you don't stop it.
02:27Aw.
02:28Get you in your jowl.
02:34Um, baby girl?
02:35Hi, baby.
02:37Hi.
02:41Damn, little piggy.
02:43I'm sorry about that.
02:46Listen, um, baby girl, uh, you remember what happened earlier in the bathroom?
02:51When you yelled at me?
02:53No, before that.
02:54Oh, you mean when I saw you naked?
02:56Huh?
02:57What?
02:57What?
02:58Wanda?
02:59I can't hear you.
03:00I'm talking to baby girl right now about knocking.
03:03Baby girl, next time, just don't barge in and knock next time, okay?
03:06Okay?
03:06Beep!
03:10Wanda!
03:11Program, thank you.
03:13One for you.
03:18Actually, some of these kids are so talented.
03:20Some are.
03:21Okay, be back.
03:24Oh, look at that sweet.
03:25Little girl hugging her mom.
03:27That would even peace with his dad.
03:29Yeah.
03:30What a baby girl.
03:41Baby girl made my privacy public.
03:44It's a good thing she wasn't working with Clay.
03:48Look at this.
03:50She can't even see.
03:52This is Joy.
03:54If it was mine, America...
03:59Very good.
04:02Oh, popsicle sticks and birdhouse over there.
04:04Real nice.
04:05Oh, oh.
04:06Hey, hey, hey.
04:06Come on, sweetie.
04:08How you doing?
04:1110 o'clock, 10 o'clock.
04:12What, what, nothing?
04:13Is there a problem?
04:16Yeah, no.
04:18Oh, Mr. Mack, please.
04:21Nothing to be ashamed of.
04:23The human body is a beautiful thing.
04:27Okay?
04:33I didn't say it wasn't a beautiful thing.
04:36I'm just saying it's not for everybody to look at.
04:39Trust me, America.
04:41It's beautiful.
04:43Well, we don't always agree with what they say at Wellington.
04:47And this is not the sort of thing that we do for show and tell.
04:51So ding-dings are bad?
04:54Ding-dings?
04:56Whoa, whoa.
04:57Now, as far as you're concerned, ding-dings don't exist.
04:59Yeah, they do.
05:00I see Jordans all the time.
05:02What?
05:03Jordan changes his clothes every day.
05:07Baby girl's seeing too, too many privacy for a nine-year-old girl.
05:10Hell, she might as well be handing out towels to the high school wrestling team.
05:14And that's a little bit too big for me.
05:17It's a matter of privacy, America.
05:20And this won't stand.
05:28What are you doing in my room?
05:31Correction.
05:32Yours and baby girl's room.
05:34Oh, no way.
05:35I am not living with a baby.
05:37Okay.
05:41Do you like Angelina Bellarina over here or over there?
05:46Get that out of here.
05:47You put it wherever you want, baby girl.
05:49It's your room, too.
05:50But this has been my room for three years.
05:53It's the last piece of sanity I have in this stupid house.
05:56And you can't take that away.
05:57Used to be in my house for nine years.
05:59But you took it away from me, didn't you?
06:11Now that my room's so big, I'm ready to have a 40-gallon fish tank.
06:16No, 60-gallon.
06:18Then I could have a baby shark.
06:20Why are you even in here?
06:24Well, that's what's good about having your own room.
06:26You can come and go as you please.
06:28It's pretty sweet making your own schedule.
06:30Get out.
06:33Fine, fine.
06:35I'll go to my own room where I can be alone.
06:41Have fun with the baby.
06:44Do you really hate having me in here?
06:46No, it's not your fault, all right?
06:48You and Jordan are growing up, and you need your separate rooms.
06:51I just need a separate house.
07:00My own private galaxy.
07:40Okay, rise and shine.
07:43Jordan, what the heck is wrong with you?
07:46What you doing this doggone floor?
07:48What you doing in here?
07:49Where's Nessa?
07:52Um, in my room?
07:54Yeah, yeah, she kicked me out.
07:56Nessa!
07:58Nessa!
07:59What you doing kicking Jordan out of his own room?
08:02What are you talking about?
08:03You have your room.
08:04That's where you sleep, get it?
08:07I can't deal.
08:08You know, you always do that.
08:09You're always so quick to jump on me.
08:10And I'm not even the one who did anything.
08:12There's other people in this house, you know.
08:14You don't even know the whole story.
08:15Did you even bother to ask me?
08:16No, you didn't.
08:17So how can you come at me like that and you don't even know what happened now, do you?
08:30Why don't we add on a bedroom for Brianna?
08:33No.
08:33No.
08:34I'm not tearing up my house so quick unless I have another room.
08:38No.
08:39Okay, well then why don't we just live with the current situation?
08:42I'm sure it's only going to get easier.
08:44Don't let it get easier.
08:46Oh, get out!
08:47I'm trying to do my hair.
08:48You have butt hair!
08:50You get out!
08:52Instead of tearing up your house, I think you should probably give up your den.
08:57Give up my den?
08:59Well, I gave up my office for Vanessa's room.
09:01I'm not giving up my den.
09:07That's my cave, America.
09:09You don't mess with a man's cave.
09:11That's sacred ground.
09:13Besides, she already got an office when she goes to the office.
09:16And I'm not going to lose mine.
09:19Man, women want every damn thing.
09:21Every damn thing, man.
09:24You can't have nothing.
09:28Give them this, they want that.
09:30Give them a little of this, they want that.
09:32Gonna get something there.
09:33I need a little more.
09:34Man, these women, boy.
09:40Okay.
09:41We're looking to add a bedroom for our niece.
09:43Yeah, nothing big.
09:44Maybe five by eight, no windows.
09:47Bars.
09:47Yeah, bars would be great.
09:49Well, that's easy.
09:49We'll get some three-quarter inch rebar like this.
09:51Hey, excuse me.
09:52He's joking.
09:53Right.
09:54Right, I forgot.
09:55King of comedy.
09:56That's a funny tape.
09:58Really, just four walls and a roof, maybe.
10:00Bernie.
10:01Let me show you something.
10:03You know, when it comes to construction,
10:05there's three things that people want.
10:07They want it good, fast, and cheap.
10:09The problem is, you can only have two.
10:12So if you want it good and fast,
10:14it ain't gonna be cheap.
10:15You want it cheap and good?
10:16Won't be fast.
10:17Cheap and fast?
10:18Guess what?
10:19Won't be any good.
10:20See where I'm going with that?
10:22Yeah.
10:23Yeah.
10:23I see.
10:25I see I'm getting screwed from all sizes.
10:28I'll tell you what,
10:29this guy can stick that triangle up this circle.
10:33You got any more shapes?
10:35Nope, just the triangle.
10:36Then we'll take fast and good.
10:38Hold on, hold on.
10:39But if it's not cheap, what is it?
10:41$50,000.
10:43$50,000 because I forgot to lock the bathroom door?
10:47Do you feel my pain, America?
10:50I know you do.
10:52I better get myself a party pack of Rolades.
10:56Maybe they could sponsor the show or something.
11:00Help out.
11:10America, I got three more weeks of this bull.
11:13My beautiful house was in perfect shape.
11:16Now I was having an open heart surgery.
11:18All thanks to these doggone kids.
11:21But God willing,
11:23if I can survive this,
11:24I have peace again.
11:31Bernie, honey, come here!
11:34We'll bring some more over.
11:37Check to the left of the room.
11:45Say, three feet back, you fit a whole new wardrobe.
11:48Yo, babe, what's up?
11:49Yeah.
11:50Hey, man, what you doing with my wife's clothes?
11:52Honey, we're just redoing the closet.
11:54I thought we were just going to do baby girl's room.
11:57Well, honey, since they're here,
11:59we might as well redo the closets too, right?
12:02Oh, Wanda.
12:04Well, listen, I'm no marriage counselor,
12:06but if a lady wants to redo the closets,
12:09you let her redo the closets.
12:11You hear that?
12:14No, honey, I don't hear anything.
12:16Exactly.
12:17I don't like the sound of no sound.
12:20Good to meet you.
12:22But wait, what's behind your ear?
12:25A finishing nail.
12:29Jordan, what the heck going on in here?
12:31I don't know.
12:33Magic?
12:36That's enough, I say.
12:37And leave these guys alone.
12:38You all get back to work.
12:41You heard the customer?
12:42Come on, back to work.
12:44Let's go, let's go.
12:46Gotta stay on schedule.
12:48On schedule.
12:49If their schedule is showing up late
12:51and even early and watching magic shows,
12:54then yeah, they're right on schedule.
12:56America, they've been stringing me along.
13:15Here.
13:17Here.
13:19Here.
13:20Here.
13:32Here.
13:34Here.
13:36Here.
14:09Baby girl, is it you in there?
14:12No, it's Bill.
14:13Bill?
14:14Probably going to be a while, too.
14:17Run?
14:22It's the ultimate workout.
14:24See how she pushes all the lines?
14:27Feel that?
14:28Do you feel it?
14:29Yeah.
14:30Good, good.
14:32Great job.
14:33And now, it's time.
14:37Hey, I was watching that.
14:38Why aren't you in your room?
14:40It's too dusty back there.
14:41I couldn't sleep.
14:43Hey, I want it.
14:44You want to play a game?
14:45Well, made war, maybe?
14:47Uh, how about a game called
14:49I'm going to tell your uncle
14:49you're not in your room?
14:50Never mind.
14:51Hey, catch.
14:53I'll catch you.
14:53Ow!
15:00Hey, nothing's too good for my baby
15:05Nothing's too good for my girl
15:07Nothing's too good for my baby
15:10Oh, no
15:14I'm the luckiest guy in the world
15:17Cause I've got one pearl of a girl
15:20Half of my money goes to buy her
15:24Some of the things a little hard to sign
15:27Cause nothing's too good for my baby
15:31It's over
15:32Thank you, God
15:36I've got to use the bathroom
15:38No
15:39I'm going to use every bathroom
15:44Thank you, Lord
15:47All right, everybody
15:48Bedtime, let's go
15:50Everybody sleep in their own bed tonight
15:52How that make you feel?
15:54That make you happy, baby?
15:55Why should I be happy?
15:56I'm exactly where I was a month ago
15:58And they got new rooms
16:00Oh, so I guess I owe you something, huh, Nessa?
16:03Yeah, how about some chocolate on top of your pillow?
16:06Better yet, would you love some room service, Nessa?
16:09We had a good run, didn't we?
16:11Yep, we sure did
16:13All right, that's enough
16:14Everybody, let's go to bed
16:15Let's go
16:27Finally, America
16:28Finally
16:29Everybody's in their place
16:32My money
16:33Is another place
16:35But that's a different story
16:36But finally
16:43Joy
16:56Joy
16:57Does this smell sour to you?
16:59Smell like I'm beating
17:00Why aren't you in bed?
17:01I was just trying to help you and Aunt Wanda clean out the refrigerator
17:04We don't need no help
17:05Now close the refrigerator and go to sleep
17:10You're talking a lot of mess
17:12That deserves my screen
17:15Joy, where the hell you think you're going?
17:18Oh, come on
17:18We're going to be late for math class
17:22Joy
17:23Oh, hey, Byron
17:24Did you do your homework?
17:27Ow!
17:29Hey, I must have been sleepwalking
17:30You better sleepwalk back up in there
17:32Before this belt starts sleepwalking on you
17:34You think I'm playing with you?
17:35Hey, hey, hey
17:36Come on now
17:37Everything's okay
17:38Just going back to your room
17:43Sweetheart, I just don't get it
17:45What more do I have to do?
17:47You know, this is a little different situation
17:49You know, he's always used to sleeping
17:51With at least one sister
17:56Mmm
17:56You know
17:58Yeah
18:01Man, this is a nice looking room, don't you think?
18:05Yeah, it's okay, I guess
18:09Yeah
18:10I know what you mean
18:13Missing something
18:14What?
18:16You stink
18:18You got to make it your own
18:19Mark your territory
18:20Come on, son
18:22I shouldn't know what I'm talking about
18:22Come on
18:23Make it fun
18:25Make it fun
18:26Ha!
18:28Make it fun
18:29I got to
18:30Make it fun
18:32Make it fun
18:34Make it fun
18:36Tell me, ain't it
18:37Make it fun
18:38No, it is
18:40Make it fun
18:41Got to do it now
18:42Make it fun
18:43Got to do it now
18:45Make it fun
18:46Got to do it now
18:47Make it fun
18:48Oh, yeah
19:00Make it fun
19:00Make it fun
19:01Make it fun
19:19There you go, son
19:19I was thinking about changing this room
19:21We put a couple shelves on the wall
19:22Uh-uh, partner
19:23No nails in the wall
19:24I know this is your room
19:26But these are my walls and my floor
19:28Now, come on, big man
19:29Get some sleep
19:30Okay
19:31I know she ain't playing that movie with that dog
19:44Hello
19:44No, no, no, no
20:01Hey, baby girl, you ready for school?
20:03Uncle Bernie, I'm not a baby
20:05I'm a big girl now
20:08You sure are.
20:09You have to knock before you enter.
20:11I'm sorry.
20:13Hey, big girl.
20:15Can I still get a hug?
20:19Look at her.
20:23Excuse me?
20:25You done lost your rabbit.
20:29No more baby girl.
20:31I mean, things are really changing in the Mac house.
20:35That's for doggone sure.
20:37Well, look, Ronnie got her own room.
20:39Nessa got her own room.
20:40Joyce slept through the night, though.
20:42I had to convince him that the vacuum cleaner wasn't no monster.
20:46But the terrible thing is,
20:47I can see this ain't over.
20:49Not by a long shot.
20:51What's next, America?
20:53Talk to me. We tight.
20:55What's next?
20:59Uncle Bernie, I need a car.
21:06Oh.
21:08Mr. Mac, please.
21:10There's nothing to be embarrassed about.
21:12The human body is a beautiful thing.
21:19Come on, honey. Look alive. Get it out.
21:22Move, man. Move. Move. Move.
21:23Come on.
21:24Come here. Get some coffee.
21:27Come on.
21:33Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
21:35Come on.
21:38There's nothing to be.
21:38There's nothing to be.
21:39There's no prophecy, right?
21:41There's nothing to be.
21:41There's nothing to be.
21:41It's nothing to be.
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