Skip to playerSkip to main content
The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.

#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:20Yo, baby girl, dinner's ready, come on.
00:23Oh, uh, honey, I already found her she ate.
00:26She was starving when she came home from school.
00:27What?
00:28Yeah.
00:28Well, I'll take my one of your earplugs to the table.
00:31They're not on.
00:33I got a good idea.
00:35Why don't you go this Halloween as the Wicked Witch from the East?
00:39Speaking of costumes, I've narrowed my choices down to six.
00:43After dinner, I will distribute a secret ballot
00:45to each of the family members.
00:47Please assign three points to each of your first picks
00:49and one and one third points to each of your secondary picks.
00:52You know what? I have a better idea.
00:54I think you're big enough now for me to give your own money
00:56and let you go purchase your own costume.
00:58And accessories?
00:59Sure.
01:00I gotta go tell Norman.
01:02Look, I'm just thankful he only wanted to dress up on Halloween.
01:06Moving in the right direction, America, if you ask me.
01:14This is a letter from Brianna's school, and I bet these are her scores from the standardized state test.
01:23You may want to read them after dinner.
01:25You don't want to lose your appetite.
01:26Be quiet.
01:30Oh, my goodness.
01:33Oh, she's in the 90 percentile.
01:37And sometimes you wonder why you take after your Uncle Bernie, because he's smart.
01:41Um, okay, wait a minute, honey.
01:44She's in the 90 percentile out of Wellington.
01:47And this columnist says that she's in the 39th percentile out of the nation.
01:52See the two?
01:53She better grow up pretty.
01:54Shut up.
01:56Don't worry, Uncle Bernie.
01:57I know I'm intelligent.
02:02Um, I'm gonna make an appointment with Miss Lefkoe.
02:06You're damn right with seeing Miss Lefkoe.
02:10I want an explanation, America.
02:1339 percentile?
02:14That ain't no education.
02:16I'm looking forward to seeing that woman eat some crow.
02:19Could have put her in a public school and bought me a boat.
02:24Look at it.
02:25Look at it.
02:28Some boo.
02:33Unlike the public system that gears its curriculum solely towards these standardized tests,
02:41we don't consider ourselves a trade school.
02:44Hammering multiplication tables into our children's heads.
02:48Yeah.
02:49I don't know why she need math anyway.
02:52Mr. Mack.
02:54You know, these state exams, they don't test for conflict resolution, need articulation, or self-esteem.
03:06And on those fronts, believe you me, our students are in the 100th percentile.
03:19She's supposed to be eating crow.
03:21Not feeding us bull.
03:26Brianna's school year has already started.
03:28Maybe she should just wait till next year.
03:29Uh-uh, uh-uh.
03:30We're gonna look for a school for her tonight.
03:32She's gonna start Damien with her brother Jordan.
03:35Damien?
03:35You're doggone right.
03:37Okay, well, I don't exactly consider that a nurturing environment.
03:41I mean, Jordan's doing well, but...
03:42They already nurtured her down to 39 percentile.
03:46It's time for somebody to start beating up to 90.
03:54I understand that you and Mrs. Mack want Brianna to attend Damien.
04:00But, Mr. Mack...
04:03I'm not sure if you don't have any room at the end.
04:04Much like when the baby Jesus was born.
04:06Joseph and Mary found there was no room at the end.
04:12So what do you say if there's no room?
04:14I'm saying that I have a gymnasium that needs a new roof.
04:24Isn't extortion one of the seven deadly sins?
04:28Mr. Mack, all I've done is tell you that I have a gymnasium that needs a new roof.
04:45Well, she's still angry.
04:46Well, that's the best thing for her.
04:48But it's not the best thing for me.
04:49Listen, Joy, don't start with me.
04:51But Damien, it's my fortress of solitude.
04:55Superman!
04:56I'm Superman!
04:58I go to Damien to get away from things I don't like.
05:01Things like Brianna?
05:02Now that's enough.
05:05But I'm known at school for being the smart one.
05:08She's gonna ruin my rep.
05:10Let me tell you something, son.
05:11The only thing that's gonna ruin your rep is kryptonite.
05:14And what's wrong with you?
05:15You're scared, Superman?
05:17Aw!
05:23Aunt Wanda, I don't wanna change schools.
05:25Please!
05:27Don't worry, little mama.
05:28You're gonna love it, okay?
05:30Aw, come on.
05:31The uniform is not so bad.
05:34Your Aunt Wanda wore one just like this all through high school.
05:37And let me tell you, you get to learn a few little tricks along the way.
05:40Like these gold post earrings for your ears.
05:50Uniform?
05:51What uniform?
05:52Those gold post earrings are so distracting, all we do is focus on your beauty.
06:00You got 30 seconds, get over it.
06:04Come on.
06:06And baby girl, don't pout.
06:08You're gonna be fine.
06:09You just got your big brother looking after you.
06:13Jordan, don't start.
06:15I'm telling you.
06:16Don't start with me.
06:21What's wrong with these kids today, America?
06:24He should wanna be there for his baby sister.
06:27That's what family's all about.
06:30Jordan better walk in holding that girl's hand,
06:32where I'll pop him upside his head.
06:34With love, of course.
06:36Because we're family.
06:48You're on your own.
07:12But the most fun of all are homonyms, such as principal and principal.
07:20And here's a little spelling trick for you.
07:23Only the school principal is your pal.
07:36I before E except after C or when the vowel sounds like...
07:45True.
07:47Very good.
07:48Now.
07:59Brianna?
08:00Can I help you?
08:01Are you feeling sick?
08:04No, just bored.
08:05I need personal time.
08:09Sister?
08:11Yes?
08:12What's personal time?
08:15Um...
08:18Um...
08:19Which is why Damien doesn't recognize personal time.
08:26Brianna, I think you're going to discover that you're Mrs. Lefkoe and I run two very different institutions.
08:37One is in anything goes, do what you want, laugh out loud, wonderland.
08:44And the other's a school.
08:47I'm sorry.
08:48It won't happen again, Sean.
09:01Little girl.
09:03Even my mother calls me father.
09:24I ain't never seen the priest that doggone angry.
09:27He was using everybody's name in vain.
09:29Mine too.
09:31Well, uh, so sweetie, what we're saying is, is that the way that you behave at home?
09:35You know, minding your manners, being polite and doing what you're told is the way that you behave at school.
09:41That doesn't sound like fun.
09:43School ain't fun.
09:47You hear that, America?
09:49Fun in school?
09:51She really must be slow.
09:54Well, from now on, she got two fathers.
09:57And trust me, that father can give me a run for my money.
10:05Whew.
10:06Okay.
10:07I got the 411 on the Halloween party for our class.
10:10It's at Michael's house on Saturday.
10:12Great, because I finally got my costume choices down to three.
10:15It took me all night, but I'm finally there.
10:17Me too.
10:18So, I propose a vote.
10:20In the first round, I signed three points.
10:22I know the procedure.
10:25Why are you yelling at me?
10:27Because.
10:27The round is exactly the embarrassment I knew she'd be.
10:31Did she really call Father Kroon in a shot?
10:33Yes?
10:34Can you believe that?
10:35No, I cannot.
10:37I even heard some kids telling her they thought that was cool.
10:41No.
10:42Ridiculous.
10:46What is that?
10:48Only the best Halloween costume you'll ever see.
10:51Puss in boots.
10:52You look stupid.
10:55That really means a lot to me.
10:57Come from a person who's so stupid, she had to change schools.
11:01At least I'm not a nerd.
11:04That's your opinion.
11:05It's not my opinion.
11:07It's the whole school's opinion.
11:09What?
11:10Your name's on the wall of the girls' bathroom.
11:13The nerd wall.
11:14The nerd wall.
11:18Oh my God.
11:20And the nerd wall.
11:22Oh yeah, right here.
11:26Oh my God.
11:30No.
11:31The nerd wall.
11:31Every little bit hurts.
11:36I want to go.
11:37Every little bit hurts.
12:04I thought little would surprise me about your nephew, Mr. Mark.
12:08But I never saw him turning into a peeper.
12:12Yeah, a peeper, I can understand.
12:15Look at that nose.
12:17Let's agree that it's frowned upon.
12:19Yeah.
12:20And now I have another matter at 2.20.
12:24All right.
12:26Sit down, Mr. Mark.
12:28Brianna is the other matter.
12:30Brianna?
12:31Already helped her with a behavior problem.
12:34She's no longer calling people by their first name.
12:36No, her behavior's improved.
12:39The issues are academics.
12:41Academics?
12:43She's not the swiftest deer in the forest, Mr. Mark.
12:47In fact, she may well be the dumbest.
12:50You watch your damn tongue, Father Cronin.
12:52I'm telling you right now.
12:54Mr. Mark, the girl couldn't understand fractions even after Sister Mary Pete broke every piece of chalk she had into
13:00thirds.
13:01The girl's a good kid.
13:03The school's not made of chalk, Mr. Mark.
13:05Yeah, I know the roof hanged.
13:10I'm afraid I have no choice but to push Brianna back a year into second grade.
13:14Now, you hold on one minute.
13:16I have to with one problem.
13:17Give me a chance to help her with another one.
13:20All right.
13:24I'll give you one week.
13:26But remember, not everyone can turn water into wine.
13:34One of my children held back because I left in hippie school too long, America.
13:40That's 39 percentile parenting.
13:43And Bernie Mac should be a hundred percentile.
13:47A hundredth.
13:49You're smart, kid.
13:51All you gotta do is start applying yourself and you'll start getting good grades.
13:55At Wellington, they say the most important grade is the grade you give yourself.
13:59And I give myself an A.
14:02Well, that woman wasn't kidding about that self-esteem.
14:05This woman's got a little too much.
14:08A child is like a tree, America.
14:12Sometimes you have to cut them down a little so they can grow big and strong.
14:16You understand?
14:19Well, Father Cronin said if you don't start improving, he gonna push you back a whole grade.
14:23And ain't nothing but babies back there anyway.
14:25You're not no baby, are you?
14:26No.
14:28But my homework is hard.
14:30Well, you know what?
14:31Don't worry.
14:32See?
14:32Now this is where your Uncle Bernie can help you.
14:34Isn't that right?
14:35You're doggone right.
14:37And I got an A's.
14:38I know a guy who got exact A's in the same exact exams that you got.
14:42Hold on one minute.
14:44Hey, Jordan!
14:45Come here for a minute.
14:47No!
14:48Jordan, come here!
14:49If you don't come here, you're not going to the Halloween party.
14:52Good!
14:52I don't wanna go!
14:54Excuse me, baby girl.
14:56It's gonna take me a few minutes.
14:57I'm going to come for your brother or whoop his butt.
14:59Either way, it's just gonna take me a few minutes.
15:01Jordan.
15:03Boy!
15:05Jordan!
15:07Hey, man, what's wrong?
15:09It's too humiliating.
15:12Humiliating?
15:13She also was family for, man, to listen to humiliating the stories.
15:18Everyone thinks I'm a nerd.
15:20Jordan, you're not a nerd.
15:22You know why I was on my way in here, man?
15:25I was calling you, man, because I needed your help.
15:27I needed your help with your sister with her homework.
15:30She's struggling.
15:31Yeah, I need somebody I can trust.
15:33I need a man.
15:34Yeah, right.
15:35No, I'm serious.
15:37Look at what you did when you were in third grade.
15:39I left in that doggone school too doggone long.
15:42When you were there in third grade, what'd you get?
15:44Three A's and two A-minuses.
15:47Four A's and one A-minus.
15:52Where's my case?
15:55Uncle Bernie.
15:56Hmm?
15:57Brand really didn't learn a thing in that school, did she?
15:59Not a blessing thing.
16:02So you were really wasting your money, huh?
16:06You know one thing, Jordan?
16:08I won't hit a nerd.
16:11But I'll hit a man.
16:13In the jowl.
16:18Okay, Brianna.
16:19Listen to this sentence carefully.
16:21Jack threw the ball to Jill.
16:23If Jill is the indirect object in the sentence,
16:25then what is the subject?
16:28Baseball.
16:30Okay.
16:30We're gonna need milk and cookies and small candies
16:33and anything else we can use as little reward treats.
16:36Oh, cause I was wrong.
16:37Yeah.
16:39Jack threw the ball to Jill.
16:44I did it.
16:44I was gonna need milk and milk to you.
16:48Yeah.
16:48I was gonna be a good one.
16:50I was gonna be a good one.
16:53Yeah.
16:56Yeah.
17:00Yeah.
17:01Yeah.
17:04Yeah.
17:04Yeah.
17:05Yeah.
17:06to carry on. Didn't know what he had to be. Had a feeling he was about to see. So the
17:18streets deep, flip, shine. You know where I love a different cat. One fourth plus two
17:26eight plus six twelve equals one. What did you say? One fourth plus two eight plus six
17:34four equals one. It is one. I'm running. I'm running. Yes. Does this mean I get to stay in the
17:53third grade? Are you kidding? You keep getting work like this? Hell yeah. Who's the baby now, Sean? Jordan, you
18:03are the man.
18:05Pardon me, but I have to go put some finishing touches on my costume. Buckles needs washing.
18:17Uncle Bernie, you said he would take us trick or treating. You're going as a donkey? Duh. Where's Jordan?
18:24I don't know. Oh, he said that he was going to go to that costume Halloween party after all. The
18:29party at Michael's
18:30house? That's not a costume party. Who made him think I was a costume party? Because he's a nerd.
18:39Oh, my God.
18:51Hey, Jordan. Just coming from the Halloween party, huh? How was it? Not good. Not good, huh? I'm afraid that's
19:03my fault. Jordan, I ain't been honest with you, man. You're a
19:10nerd. There's nothing wrong with being a nerd, though. Some of your most famous, richest people are nerds. Bill Gates,
19:20nerd. Bill Clinton just wrote a book about being a nerd. Wynton Marsalis just wrote about how he loved classical
19:30music and was crazy about Beethoven.
19:32Who's Wynton Marsalis? The point I'm trying to make, son, is the race is not always won by the swift,
19:40but by the strong. Bill Gates, Bill Clinton, Wynton Marsalis, and Jordan Tompkins. My man.
19:51Uncle Bernie, were you a nerd, too? Hell no. Oh, man. Came out circumcised. Tell me. But you know what?
20:02I'd take one nerd and ten fools any day to go to a Halloween party without a costume. I know.
20:08That's crazy, isn't it? What the hell are they smoking? I don't know. Uncle Bernie! I'll take your sister's chicken
20:15treat. Come on, go with us. Okay, sure. Hey, you ready? Come on.
20:21Go this way. Cool costume. Yeah, I got it down now. I saw all of you.
20:54All right, good. Here we go. Here we are.
20:58The test scores? From, yeah. From, wait a minute. This comp says 39. So sorry.
21:04Okay.
Comments

Recommended