The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:17hello there and good evening how y'all doing because i'm fine thanks for asking everything
00:26is going good with the kids listen i'm not gonna even front everything is great i am the glue that
00:34holds the family together y'all know the story y'all know about my sister had a little problem
00:39with the drugs and i'm taking care of kids did she get herself together y'all know about it ain't
00:43no
00:43big secret now i bet y'all thought those crumb snatches was gonna run all over me by now where
00:49you were wrong what you don't believe me check it out stop looking at me and check it out here
00:58you
00:58go baby girl uncle bernie where's my backpack on the kitchen table son and your lunch right next to
01:04it i got you i got you did you remember my apple baby it's cut cord zip lock right there
01:10uncle bernie
01:11you forgot to refill my asthma medicine your ear cream is inside too you gotta apply it twice a day
01:16aww but it smells funny ain't nobody gonna smell your ear boy here sweetie
01:23it's pizza day i'll need another dollar it's taco day senorita taco day
01:29okay try to get the mac mac adios amigos
01:35i got this hey baby hey baby you want some breakfast oh honey i don't have time
01:41oh i set up a play date for joy in this afternoon a play date yeah it's cameron my senior
01:47vp son
01:49why are you just not telling me i'm sorry baby i've just been so busy with work
01:53you're messing with my plans did you have something planned yes i had something planned i planned on
01:59going with the flow and a play date messes with my flow and you clogging up my flow you know
02:05up oh just for me
02:13hey that ain't that easy baby i know baby
02:22jordan i want you and cameron either playing your room or outside because i've cleaned this
02:26whole house up today and i don't want you all running out like maniacs okay
02:30okay hi bernie i'm tracy and this is cameron
02:35hi get you think right here now
02:38hi hi i'm carrie
02:40allison we do not call plums
02:42that's allison she's mine and this is
02:47jerry brian and joy
02:48inside voices inside voices
02:51please tell me you have value
02:52hi hi
02:56hi tracy listen
02:57wanda just told me the cameron was coming by herself
03:00oh no no no i told wanda i was bringing the whole gang i'm really sorry
03:05that's okay she she just didn't tell me that's all right
03:08oh my husband does that to me all the time
03:11did she at least tell you about the company picnic this saturday
03:14company picnic
03:15uh-huh same thing
03:17uh-huh what am i gonna do in the house for the women
03:22i'm a man
03:24bernie max is a man
03:25oh that's gorgeous crystal bowl
03:28hey don't touch
03:29i'll be right back
03:31i love love this house
03:34wanda's got such impeccable taste
04:05actually sweetheart i designed all of this
04:06i'm serious and you know what it gets better
04:09you want to see the rest of the house
04:10my god yes
04:10come on i just didn't want boring terracotta in here i needed more color so i went with
04:15the santa fe feel more old school to offset the new school my husband wouldn't
04:20know terracotta if it hit him in the face
04:24wow i used to draw when i was a little boy now this room this is our favorite i like
04:27the colors
04:29we had to put some i wanted something real different you know what i mean
04:32uncle bernie we need food
04:34excuse me
04:35please
04:36all right i'll whip your cats up something to eat
04:38oh no no bernie we'll feed the kids when we get them home
04:41no no it's no problem
04:42you all like quesadillas
04:43you're just gonna whip up quesadillas
04:45i sure will
04:46uncle bernie had to give me soy cheese because regular cheese give me diarrhea
04:52aw that is so thoughtful
04:54no actually i do it for myself
04:56baby girl she's little but she's deadly
04:58all right
05:00come on ladies what do you think
05:02fabulous i'm really good
05:04your secret
05:06well honestly it's an old family recipe
05:09and if i tell you i got the key
05:18good afternoon vanessa
05:20hey
05:25teenagers want to kill them to be civil i i've got two and i'll be honest sometimes i just want
05:31to
05:31bust their head to the white meat show
05:34oh that's great
05:36can i use that you sure can
05:38bust their head to the white meat show
05:42oh yeah
05:43if that don't work hit him in the throat
05:44oh
05:47no i don't really hit him in the throat
05:49no i don't really hit him in the throat
05:49beat him in the throat
05:50beat him in the throat
05:51oh
05:52oh
05:54kick pow kick it like an extra point
05:56good
06:05ladies i just don't know how to describe it
06:09it's peace
06:12i mean serene peace
06:15my heart just fell wide open
06:18my soul was laid bare
06:21ladies i knew
06:23i swear to god i knew
06:25i found my wife
06:28i knew i was in love
06:34another margarita
06:35oh yeah
06:36no bernie
06:37i'm having a great time with you all today
06:39i really am
06:40you can believe my day
06:42hey wanda
06:42oh hey
06:44you have got the greatest husband
06:47really he is quite the man
06:48thank you so much
06:50i know
06:51baby i'm famished
06:53oh did i tell you the whole gang was coming today
06:56oh kid
06:58oh honey
06:58if you weren't gonna cook you should have called i would have picked something up
07:03just like my husband
07:05see you at the
07:06see you later
07:06see you at the picnic
07:10honey did i tell you about the picnic
07:12i don't know did you
07:16can we go
07:19drop it like it's hot
07:21can we still go
07:22yeah i'm gonna go
07:29oh i see the guys from my division honey you sure you got the case
07:32i got them go ahead
07:33what do you think
07:35taste you up son
07:36oh hey this camera i'm gonna go play
07:40go ahead go ahead
07:42stay where i can see you jordan
07:45and don't go past the trash can
07:47and don't play in the trash can
07:50i need your keys i'm gonna wait no no you're gonna stay right here pretend like you're having a good
07:54time baby
07:55hey don't you go to bar this time
07:58all right i guess i'll stay
08:00hey bernie over here hey hey
08:04bust your head
08:06bust your head till the white feet shows
08:10y'all been drinking without me thank you baby
08:13when are we getting together again you make the call give me a notice i'll send the kids to the
08:17pound
08:17put them to sleep
08:20that's your last one you can have enough girl
08:22i'll take that
08:23well you're awesome
08:24oh bernie hey tracy hey how you doing this is marshall my boss this is rick i'm his boss okay
08:30and david we're up for the same job what's up david good i finally get to meet the man behind
08:34this great lady oh i wouldn't say behind nobody man i think me and her more side by side
08:40now if she won't really give me a hand i'd give me a hand probably like a pod
08:44bernie that's my boss
08:46so what so bernie yeah i understand that you're uh you're a stay-at-home dad i i have to
08:52tell you i
08:52really admire that i ain't no stay-at-home dad now my kids they stay-at-home kids and i
08:57let them stay at
08:57home yeah
09:01yeah wanda told me that you were a comedian well i think that's just great you know i wish uh
09:06i wish
09:06my tracy had an outlet like that i don't really have an outlet i got a successful career just
09:12you want to talk about career my friend your wife is on the fast track oh yeah if she keeps
09:18going the
09:18way she's going you'll be able to give up this whole stand-up comedy thing and uh you know stay
09:22on be be a stay-at-home dad huh you think so yeah you got to figure it out sure
09:28you might be right
09:29you might be right look i'm gonna give me some beef let's all talk all right okay stay-at-home
09:34dad
09:38what's going on here america bernie mac ain't no april wine stay-at-home betty crocker baker susie
09:45homemaker what the hell is this
09:51who been eating cheetos in my chair i just cleaned this whole doggone place now hold on hold on hold
09:57on now hold on this don't make me less for man because i like things little neat and tidy america
10:02no it don't y'all getting the wrong impression about bernie mac y'all not seeing the real me
10:09yeah mrs bailey gives way too much homework i know and why does she wear the same blue dress every
10:13day
10:13yeah hey are you gonna go to the seventies dance tomorrow night i don't know maybe oh come on you
10:19have to be there all right i'm going to superfly i got the hat the long coat everything who you
10:24coming
10:24as it's a surprise surprise okay all right i'll find you you're coming right yeah
10:44my outlet man they don't know nothing about me man these people out here la they crazy
10:50excuse me mr mac yes i overheard you talking to the guys and i just want to say thank you
10:56for what for sticking up for us stay-at-home dads those men over there they just don't get it
11:02see
11:03they go to offices but we go to work and i'm not ashamed to say i love my kids my
11:08wife my house my
11:09garden my arts and crafts it doesn't make me any less of a man hey you want to get together
11:16sometime
11:17no hell no birdie mac is 100 real man yes sir rebar baby 100 percent man smell the tartesteroam up
11:28in here
11:29smell it i can smell it and i can feel it too i can feel gum who in the hell
11:37put gum somebody put gum under my
11:39chair i'm gonna kill somebody up in here tonight you watch
11:51you can do it you can do it yes sir man coming up now you know those huh hey city
12:00field get back
12:03get back get all the way back keep on going the police will stop you huh pitch to a man
12:10now yeah come on
12:13ball up here son put the ball right here put the ball right here right here i'm trying okay
12:21hey ease up burn he's up he's gonna miss out there he don't know what he's doing
12:26tired of this ain't here for no foolishness i'm sure
13:06i can't believe how you acted out there i work with those people
13:10i can't believe you're going around telling people i'm some kind of martha stewart
13:14martha stewart oh honey she can never do what you do you are martha stewart times 10.
13:20oh baby i didn't mean it like that where you going you don't ask a man where you going where
13:26you going
13:30i love you
13:33i gotta find burning mac i gotta get burning mac back
13:38i don't like what i become i need to go to the one place where they understand me
13:43speak my language i could be done tiny but i'm java i don't know i guess you're right sure i'm
13:53right
13:53you're a strong black man bernie mac damn right right papa king hmm bernie mac proud of the black man
14:01too
14:04yeah yeah bernie mac what you doing in a nail salon now hold on now america keeping your nails and
14:13skin up is no woman thing not at all not at all now let's not forget that bernie mac is
14:18a public
14:19personality and entertainer it ain't just an outlet i have to look good gotta keep my game nice and tight
14:27bernie mac don't wake up looking like this see mama kim's is where i relax i've been going to mama
14:34kim's for years they're like family like you and me america they help me focus on my thoughts see things
14:41more clearly oh yeah oh yeah take care of myself mama kim can i ask you a question i don't
14:52know why
14:55how can i get people to see the real bernie mac i mean bernie mac the man don't worry about
15:05other
15:05people bernie mac just be yourself that's all you can do just be bernie mac they are right just be
15:15bernie
15:15mac doggone and bernie mac ain't gonna be nobody's mama that's for a damn show
15:25they're right
15:26this is a man's world
15:32this is a man's world
15:38but it wouldn't be nothing brother bernie you gonna fold the water
15:48huh fold
15:51hell no i ain't gonna fold or fluff or iron or pre-wash
15:56and i'm not gonna soak fine washables no more even i'm tired how about playing you're gonna play hey
16:03hey man bernie mac don't play uncle bernie i need you to put in my ear cream
16:08go ask someone to jordan she's still at the store all right come here
16:15okay what's your giving you the problem this one bye
16:23it's all right man every time i turn around man uncle bernie i'm thirsty can you give me some to
16:29drink
16:30baby girl go in the kitchen and pour yourself some juice but i might spill it if you're spilling
16:35you got a cleaning job but do not get go okay hey every time i turn around the kids come
16:42asking me
16:43you know i'm not their mama man uh bernie what
16:49what i want to ask you a question no you don't you wouldn't y'all hear that
16:54nelson want to ask me a question can you believe it no no no no no no because i want
16:58to hear this
16:59i want to hear it okay do you do you think this looks 70s 70 what my costume for the
17:0870s dance
17:09oh who are you dressed as it's stupid i'm supposed to be jackie from that 70s show you know where
17:18she
17:18does the thing and then she has the other thing and then the other thing and you know the thing
17:23what's that michelle that 70s show do you mean jack k from 227 wasn't that in the 80s yeah that's
17:31the ladies yeah i'm not even gonna go
17:36man i wasn't gonna say nothing but that outfit was whack you're not gonna help her out no i'm not
17:42gonna help out nessa already thinks she grown she on her own i should help her out man i ruled
17:47the 70s
17:47what you mean you ruled the 70s man i put the p in p funk hey i should help the
17:53girl out you put the p
17:55in your pajamas you were four in the 70s man i'll help her back in the day i was the
18:00pop lock king
18:01all right just need advice from a pro son brother man sit back down if anybody gonna help my niece
18:08it's
18:08gonna be me i ran the 70s i was the first one to get up on the down stroke i'm
18:14the one told earth
18:15when they need to pick up five i talked to cool about getting the game it was me who went
18:21to jane
18:22brown about the jb you know but i was one of them baby it's my house and i live here
18:31tell him i'm not going she's going she'll be a few minutes come on come on you look pretty baby
18:40hey
18:43come on
18:47birdie be nice
18:49be nice
18:51sitting here eating my heart out waiting waiting for some lover to call
18:59talked about a thousand numbers lately almost rang the phone off the wall
19:06looking for some hot stuff baby this evening i need some hot stuff baby tonight
19:13hot stuff
19:16i need hot stuff
19:28i need hot stuff
19:31i want some hot stuff
19:34i need hot stuff
20:03come on
20:06Come on, y'all. Look at this hair.
20:08Look at him. Oh, yeah.
20:10Go with your bad stuff.
20:12You look like a bag of Skittles.
20:13Yeah, Monty, what you name? What you name?
20:17Monty, come here.
20:20Check you out.
20:23Where'd you get those boots, girl?
20:25He made them.
20:27Honey, you too much.
20:31Just being Bernie Mac.
20:32Yeah.
20:33You look nice, man.
20:38All right, gang.
20:39Let's go.
20:40Remember, ladies, pretty is as pretty does.
20:44Bobby Seale, we run.
20:45You better watch yourself.
20:47Hey, hey, hey, hey. Why don't you get a sweater?
20:49It might get cold. I'm good, I'm good.
20:51Sweetheart, sweetheart.
20:53Remember, if you need anything,
20:55Nessa, just call me, hear?
20:57Okay.
20:58Bernie Mac, you'll definitely need the man.
21:00No. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
21:02Nessa, let me take a picture right quick.
21:04Oh, baby, I'll get it.
21:05All right, hurry up.
21:05Dang, he's worse than my mother.
21:07I got your mama.
21:08I can't help it.
21:10It's just a part of who Bernie Mac is.
21:12Doesn't mean Bernie Mac isn't a strong man.
21:15What's important is that I know who I am.
21:18Doesn't matter what anybody think.
21:20You remember that.
21:22Bernie, come on.
21:24They made a fresh batch.
21:25I'll be right there.
21:28Excuse me.
21:31Steal the man.
21:38I'm gonna show you who Bernie Mac is.
21:40Bernie Mac is 100% real man, baby.
21:44Yes, sir, 100%.
21:46Can you smell the tartaster?
21:48What is it?
21:51Testosterone.
21:52Testosterone.
21:54Testosterone.
21:59Can you smell the testosterone up in here?
22:02Smell it.
22:03Smell the testosterone up in here.
22:06Smell like Mendocity.
22:08Yay.
22:14Are you good?
22:15Ladies and gentlemen,
22:15take care.
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