The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:17America, Bernie Mac is a connoisseur.
00:20See, I've learned to appreciate the finer things in life, like this cigar.
00:26See, this is a Masachi, the finest Indian cigar money can buy.
00:30And I got eight more boxes just ages in my humidor.
00:33You know what? I got a 30-year-old port ageing in my wine setter.
00:37And somewhere in France, there's some cheese, ageing in a goat, waiting for my imported cracker.
00:43That's right. America, Bernie Mac loves a good life.
00:47You know what? How sweet it is.
00:51That's my boy Jackie.
00:55Jackie Gleason.
01:01Grand flakes, oak flakes.
01:03Hey, baby, where the good series? The sweet lucky stuff. Where's that at?
01:06They're up top two inches past Jordan's reach.
01:10Hey, baby, that's nice. Real nice.
01:14Oh.
01:15Your shoulder acting up again, old man?
01:17Old man ain't got nothing to do with it. It's a boxing injury.
01:20If you dole out the type of punishment this drill dole out, your shoulder be bothering you too.
01:25You really should see a doctor.
01:27I saw Dr. Spelman the other day.
01:29Bernie, you went to the Dodger game with him.
01:30And if he didn't think I looked good, he would have said something.
01:33Why didn't they take an oath?
01:35You're 45 years old.
01:37No.
01:37You should be getting regular physicals anyway.
01:40Okay.
01:41I'll meet you halfway.
01:43Okay.
01:43I'll get a massage.
01:46Buy a license masseuse.
01:48Uh-huh.
01:49They call me Saul, man.
01:51I know.
01:52Yeah, baby.
01:52Hey, girl.
01:53Go ahead, baby.
01:55Oh, oh, oh.
01:56Come on, Wanda.
01:56What?
01:57They're right here.
01:57Reach for them.
01:58Yeah, I get them.
01:59Come on.
02:02You first blood, baby.
02:04You first blood.
02:05If you had a chronic shoulder problem, wouldn't you go to the doctor?
02:08Stop, Wanda.
02:09Yes, most definitely.
02:10Bernie, you really should go to the doctor, okay?
02:13Might be a whole mess of things wrong with you, man.
02:15You know what?
02:15They might even find some things that you don't even know about.
02:18That's why I'm not going.
02:19Exactly.
02:19Come on.
02:20Hey, man.
02:21Look here, man.
02:22Look here.
02:22Ain't nothing wrong with my boy.
02:23Something big fella.
02:24Look here, pound for pound.
02:25Bernie Mac is the healthiest man up in here.
02:28You know that.
02:28Yeah, I don't go to the doctor neither, man.
02:31Chewy, you don't go to the doctor because you don't have any health insurance.
02:35I don't need health insurance because I don't go to the doctor.
02:37That's nice.
02:38That's nice.
02:39Jerry, you're his manager.
02:40What do you think?
02:41You know what, Wanda?
02:42I'd really...
02:43I'd prefer not to get in the middle of this.
02:45Don't be pulling him into our business.
02:46You're just supposed to bring some pork wines and leave.
02:48Do your duty and go, baby.
02:50But he's your client.
02:52Isn't it in your best interest to make sure that he's healthy?
02:54Well, yes.
02:56That's...
02:57You know what, Wanda?
02:58I'm really not down with doctors.
03:00Now, see?
03:00That being said, I know of a really good doctor.
03:03And he's the doctor for the Lakers.
03:04That sounds good, man.
03:05That sounds good.
03:06Oh, is this Shaq and Kobe's doctor?
03:08Are we talking about bench warm, a second string, straight garbage time, lucky to have a ring,
03:14Samaki Walker doctor?
03:15Yeah, yeah, Dr. Bombay.
03:17A, calm down, and B, he's a doctor for the whole team.
03:20Very well.
03:21You can go.
03:23All right.
03:24I'm gonna go.
03:25But to the Lakers doctor, because there's a sports injury anyway.
03:28Now, you fine?
03:29You satisfied?
03:30Now, look what you started?
03:31Yeah.
03:32Yeah.
03:34Where are the hot sauce, Wanda?
03:36Just walking away.
03:38Yeah, Doc, you know, it hurts right on top of my shoulder, but when I'm popping the jab, bam, bam,
03:43it's okay.
03:45This roundhouse, right there, man, I can't, I can't get around, like, what you doing?
03:51I said, what you doing, I say?
03:53What you getting ready to do?
03:58Hmm.
03:59Hmm.
04:02Bernie, I'm a little concerned about more than your shoulder.
04:04I'd like to do a few tests.
04:05What type of tests?
04:06Well, all of them.
04:09What?
04:10Now, would you, uh, please put this on?
04:13Yeah, Doc, I'm gonna put it on, man.
04:15What's happening?
04:16Everything's gonna be all right.
04:17You're fine.
04:17You'll be fine.
04:18Hey!
04:25Mr. Mack, you're basically in good health.
04:28Well, you say I'm in great athletic health?
04:31Sure.
04:31Yeah, thank you, Doc.
04:33I knew it, boy.
04:34See, I told my wife Wanda what's not wrong with me, but she thinks something's wrong with me.
04:38Well, you do have high cholesterol, which could lead to heart attack and stroke.
04:41What?
04:42Heart attack and stroke?
04:44America, what kind of bull is this looking at my cholesterol?
04:48He's supposed to be looking at my shoulder.
04:50Damn, doctor, they're always poking around when they don't belong
04:53and telling you things you don't want to know.
04:55If I want to hear about a heart attack, I would have gone to a heart attack doctor.
04:58Well, no need to worry.
05:00It can be controlled entirely through diet and exercise.
05:03Always looking when you ain't got no...
05:04What about my shoulder?
05:05Oh, that...
05:06Well, you'll need surgery at some point.
05:08Oh.
05:08You'll know when.
05:12Damn, doctors overseas.
05:13Doctors always looking when you...
05:15Before I came here by my shoulder, looking.
05:19Hey, baby.
05:20How'd it go?
05:21How you thinking when, Wanda?
05:23I'm laying up in the doctor's house with a paper dresser on with my secret hanging out.
05:26And I'm going to tell you something.
05:28I ain't seen that one good liquor.
05:30Only liquor I saw was that Slavo Mervodanko.
05:32There ain't no quack sport doctor going to tell him I got high cholesterol.
05:36Wanda, I hope you happy.
05:38Couldn't let me live in my ignorance, could you?
05:40You'll play a hater.
05:41That's all.
05:42Oh.
05:44Oh.
05:46No, come on.
05:48Come on.
05:49Let me love you.
05:50Come on.
05:52Let me love you.
05:53Hug me.
05:54Hug me.
05:55My back hurt a little bit, too, hon.
05:57Oh, no.
05:58I got you.
06:03That's raw, America.
06:04I'm talking about the little seed.
06:06They call it the silent killer.
06:08Because it quietly accumulates in your blood, clogging up all your arteries.
06:12Until one day, BOP!
06:13It kills you.
06:14And you never even know you had it.
06:16Oh, honey, let me tell you.
06:16It's terrible.
06:17And the only worst thing is when you do know you have it.
06:20Because your busy-bodied little wife stuck a fat nose in your business.
06:26Thank you, baby.
06:27I hope someday I can return the favor.
06:30I can't wait till she ask me if the jeans are too tight.
06:33I can't wait.
06:37Sure.
06:38Oh.
06:43Gil.
06:45You've got to go sometime.
06:47I might as well go full.
06:50You know, Bernie, high cholesterol is very manageable.
06:54One of those pantlets even has a recipe for low-cholesterol mac and cheese.
06:58I don't care about no recipe.
06:59I got my own.
07:00It's mac eating cheese.
07:12One of mine's different.
07:14It's O'Brien, honey.
07:16Very healthy.
07:17Well, don't tell me nothing about no healthy.
07:19This here.
07:20This.
07:20This mine.
07:21All mine.
07:22This my business.
07:23I'll run this.
07:24Mm-hmm.
07:25And you runs it to Royal Burger every chance you get.
07:28No.
07:29Aren't you afraid that you're going to kill over one day?
07:31With a hamburger in one hand and a large french fry in the other?
07:34Baby, let it be written.
07:36In the meantime, I want my sausage and eggs.
07:39There aren't you.
07:41Yeah.
07:44Hey!
07:44Hey, those are mine.
07:46Back up.
07:46Back up.
07:47Back up.
08:01Baby, when I found out you were lying, playing around and conniving, undesired tears, I was crying, cause sugar-coated
08:17lies I was buying.
08:19I was just a backseat driver in a car of love, going wherever you take me.
08:29Don't know why I got up with the pain, cause nobody else.
08:36Why don't you just eat a whole pig?
08:38When did you start caring?
08:39I don't.
08:40Aunt Wanda told me to.
08:42Uncle Barney, are you trying to have a stroke?
08:44Did she say that?
08:45She said you're trying your best.
08:49Get him.
08:50Get him.
08:51Get him.
09:01You did that on purpose.
09:03I didn't, I swear, I'm allergic.
09:05To what?
09:06To fat people.
09:09This is wrong.
09:11This is wrong.
09:13My family, like I'm one of those guys, you gotta move with a crane or bear in a piano crate.
09:18I'm just a normal person.
09:19We're perfectly normal eating habits, just like everyone else.
09:23When you're in your basement relaxing, looking at movies, you got treats and it, oh, wrong
09:28side, you got treats and stuff like that, it ain't no harm.
09:32Want something?
09:33You get your own.
09:37Business side.
09:40Pleasure.
09:43Business.
09:52Oh, okay.
09:54So I'm a pig now.
09:56Oink, oink.
09:57Ha, ha.
09:58Okay.
09:58We'll see who gets slaughtered, though.
10:05Smells good.
10:06Hope you enjoy it.
10:08You gang?
10:09Hey, big fella.
10:10And I got cheese inside the crust.
10:13Come on, gang.
10:14Dig in.
10:17What's wrong with y'all?
10:19You know, I'm not really feeling like pizza tonight.
10:21What?
10:21Yeah.
10:22Maybe we could just have a nice salad with some light dressing.
10:26Nah, I like mine dry.
10:27Yeah, man.
10:28And you know, for dessert, you know, we could, like, have some carrot sticks and some raisins.
10:33Raisins.
10:34I love you.
10:34Man, what the hell y'all talking about?
10:39Wanda got to y'all, didn't she?
10:41No, no one got to us.
10:42We love carrot sticks.
10:43Oh, yeah.
10:43See sticks?
10:44They're off the heezy.
10:45For sheezy?
10:47Y'all a bunch of Benedict Arnos, man.
10:49Y'all selling me right down the river.
10:50Hey, man, look, man.
10:51Now, Bernie, now, you know you ain't supposed to be even this kind of stuff, man.
10:56Big fella, I know you ain't judging me.
10:58See, you're just lashing out.
11:00You know, anger is a sign that you have a problem.
11:03Problem.
11:05Big fella did this here.
11:07I mean, you types of bad draws.
11:10But if you don't give me back my pizza, you're going to have a discrepancy.
11:14That's some lashing out, man.
11:16Did you see that, America?
11:17You all saw what she did.
11:19She went behind my back and ruined my poker game.
11:22She even got to my best man, the big fella.
11:25Now, all my homeboys turning their back on me because of her.
11:29I'm going to tell y'all a little secret, America.
11:31Two years ago, Wanda was getting a little hippie.
11:33I didn't say nothing.
11:35I just respected her fat ass.
11:37I didn't run over to the hall for the teleco workers to hide the Krispy Kremes.
11:41Well, now I'm telling everybody.
11:43It's out now.
11:45Because Bernie Mac is mad.
11:47Tell them I'll carry sticks.
11:50People need to mind their business.
12:06Bye.
12:07Bye.
12:13Bye.
12:15Bye.
12:19Bye.
12:20I don't know.
12:57Hey, hey, hey, baby.
13:00You want a french fry?
13:02That's it.
13:03I give up.
13:10What y'all looking at?
13:13Can a man eat in peace?
13:15Cut the camera off.
13:45Cut the camera off.
13:48Hey, hey, what are you doing in my trash?
13:53Go shopping someplace else.
13:55What's the matter with you?
13:56Hey, Don.
13:58Why don't you get your own trash?
13:59What are you doing in my trash?
14:00I'm just throwing away a little trash, Don.
14:02That's all.
14:03Yeah, well, why don't you use your own trash?
14:05The truth is, Don got a bunch of busybody over there.
14:07They bug me about my high cholesterol.
14:08I don't want to give them no ammo.
14:09Oh, you got the high cholesterol problem.
14:14You know, that's a silent killer.
14:17I got it, too.
14:18What?
14:19Yeah.
14:19Yeah.
14:20No kidding.
14:20Yeah, I do.
14:21I got it.
14:21Wow.
14:22What do you do about it?
14:23Nothing.
14:24What?
14:25Bernie, you know what the biggest killer in America is?
14:27Oh.
14:27Stress.
14:29Yeah.
14:29Some people think it's a bullet, you know, but I don't like to get in specific ethnic groups.
14:34There's no place in my life for stress.
14:36Yeah.
14:36I mean, life is too short.
14:38I only think of happy things, and I deny myself nothing.
14:40But on the other hand, you got to loosen up, Bernie.
14:43You got to loosen up.
14:44I noticed another thing, too.
14:46You know, your shoulders.
14:47You're always tightness in the shoulders.
14:49When you walk, you look like a fist.
14:51I mean, I don't know what it is with you, but I look at you, and I need a massage.
14:56Oh, stop it.
14:57Yeah, man, you're in bad shape.
15:00I'm a friend.
15:01Get a checkup.
15:02Ooh.
15:04Walk away.
15:04You need help.
15:05Thanks.
15:07This guy isn't going to live for another week.
15:09Top's weak.
15:10He's gone.
15:11It's over.
15:12Did you hear that, America?
15:14That guy made good sense.
15:16I mean, 75 years old and still going strong.
15:19That's living proof his theory's still working.
15:22See, you bring down the stress, you bring down the blood pressure.
15:26Well, America, that's it.
15:28I'm going to tell Wanda.
15:30Now, who can reject that kind of wisdom, huh?
15:33So, you're just going to give up on everything the doctor told you to do?
15:36The hell with that doctor?
15:37He a sports doctor anyway.
15:39He couldn't even fix the click in my arm.
15:40Listen.
15:44Well, he didn't come back.
15:45He can't fix it.
15:46He ain't fix it.
15:46You're pathetic, Barney.
15:48Pathetic.
15:49I'm pathetic?
15:51That's a stress-inducing thing to say to somebody.
15:54But I'm going to walk it off.
15:56You know why?
15:57For you, Wanda.
15:59Because I love you.
16:00That's right.
16:01I want to live.
16:02See, I don't want to spend the rest of my life.
16:04People popping every day.
16:06You read the paper.
16:07You hear it on the news.
16:08Pop go the weasel.
16:09And to the weasel go pop.
16:11But you take a look at me.
16:12See this?
16:14That's my back.
16:15And my ass.
16:16That's the last thing you're going to see.
16:18Pretty sweet, huh, America?
16:20Now, see, she the one that told me to go to the doctor.
16:23Now, how could she get mad at me if I got a second opinion?
16:25Now, I got a good thing going.
16:27No stress.
16:29No mess.
16:30I really should thank Don for this.
16:35Hey, Don.
16:37Interested in 20 years?
16:38What about the high cholesterol?
16:40You're starting to stress me out, Don.
16:42Oh, I wouldn't want to do that.
16:43I'll get the tumblers.
16:44Good.
16:45I want to hear some stories.
16:54I don't feel too good.
16:57The locks and the pieces don't agree with me, Don.
17:01Well, you knew it was going to be a long shot.
17:04Look at this.
17:05Don, it's going on 9 o'clock on a Friday night.
17:08You know I'll be playing poker right now with the boys that
17:11want to not turn them into a bunch of L7s?
17:13I don't know what that means.
17:15But if you want to play poker, I'll call my fellas.
17:28Turn up the oxygen, put out the cigars.
17:32Old Buzzkill's got to breathe.
17:38Yeah.
17:41Don, I'm serious.
17:43Is he going to be all right?
17:44Yeah.
17:46But he's not.
17:48Frank?
17:49Frank?
17:51Frank!
17:59Oh, look!
18:03Don, I really like Frank, man.
18:06He was a good man.
18:08Yeah, Frank was a good fella.
18:11He was falling apart.
18:13He said take 36 pills a day.
18:15Could you imagine 36 pills a day?
18:17Wow.
18:1836, huh?
18:20Sound like he was taking care of himself to me?
18:22Yeah, but he was only supposed to take three pills.
18:24Oh.
18:25Had no short-term memory.
18:26That's what killed him.
18:28Yeah, nobody to look after him.
18:30Nobody to help him remember.
18:33That's the way it goes.
18:35Look at you, Don.
18:36You're all alone.
18:37You take good care of yourself.
18:39You look good.
18:40I'm taking care of myself, but, you know,
18:42if you were living with a woman for 60 years
18:44who was always nagging you,
18:46I mean, it's like she made good health a bad habit.
18:49Oh, it was murder with this woman.
18:52Couldn't drink, couldn't smoke, couldn't do anything.
18:56Boy, I, I tell you, I,
19:01I miss her.
19:03Yeah.
19:05I miss her.
19:07Hmph.
19:08Can you believe it?
19:14Sweetheart.
19:15Hey, baby.
19:18I'll see you soon.
19:20I love you.
19:25How about that Don?
19:27You know, he's even wiser than I thought.
19:30You know what, America?
19:32They say if you don't have your health,
19:33you ain't got nothing.
19:35But the truth is,
19:37you ain't got nothing
19:38if you don't have no one to worry about your health.
19:40And I got that.
19:42Hi, honey.
19:43Hey, baby.
19:45Wow.
19:47I'm sorry about your friend, baby.
19:49Thank you, sweetheart.
19:51I want something sorry to you, too.
19:54Oh?
19:56One, I realize you've been doing everything for me.
20:00And I want you to know I really appreciate it.
20:03You know, I don't like the food.
20:05Hmm.
20:06But you know, the last thing I want to do
20:09is to be face down on a plate of nachos before my time.
20:13You mean it, honey?
20:14Do I mean it?
20:15You watch me.
20:17I'm going to do harder.
20:19We want no pamphlets.
20:23I see.
20:27So I was reading,
20:28and they have a recipe in here
20:30for low-cholesterol chocolate cake.
20:32Don't taste bad, huh?
20:33I don't think so,
20:34because all they're doing
20:35is substituting the sugar
20:37for honey and applesauce.
20:40And we could do a little few test cakes
20:42and then we could do a little bit of milk.
20:46I don't think so.
20:47I don't think so.
20:47Hey, pre-sweetened buckwheat pancakes.
20:50You don't need any syrup or butter.
20:52All natural.
20:52Oh, this looks really delicious.
20:55Yeah.
20:57You really going to eat this stuff?
20:58I'll get the syrup out.
20:59See you?
21:00Yeah!
21:03Let's give it some more.
21:08Buckwheat, huh?
21:08Yes, honey.
21:10And I threw the syrup out.
21:13Fine.
21:16Where did you throw it at, baby?
21:22Hey, baby!
21:23Baby!
21:25Sweetheart, I'll...
21:26I'll see you soon.
21:28You count on it.
21:30I'm going to be with her, Bernie.
21:31Stand back.
21:32I'm going to be with her, baby.
21:33Stand back.
21:33I'm with you, honey!
21:35We'll even sleep in the same bed.
21:37What a treat.
21:39God bless, babe!
21:41I'll be with her, Bernie.
21:42Stand back.
21:43In the meantime,
21:44why don't you and I go out
21:45and look for some broads?
21:47Let's move on.
21:48Okay.
21:51Salon.
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