- 12 hours ago
Follow our channel for more car crazed mayhem. Alot more episodes to come that you don't want to miss. Like our videos and share with other car lovers!!
Thank you for supporting our channel
Thank you for supporting our channel
Category
đŸ˜¹
FunTranscript
00:02The End
00:34oh are you by any chance curious to know why I am looking through this kill in
00:39that room is madame Lennar of the bride's Parisienne boutique which is a
00:44very grand name for one room above the iron monger my wife Edith is still
00:50determined to marry me so madame Lennar is showing her some little items of
00:54lingerie for our wedding night the reason I was looking through the key all
00:58is that madame Lennar herself is modeling a transparent nightgown and she is very
01:04well arranged the day of the wedding has not yet been fixed and so I am a free
01:10man unless of course I am arrested by the colonel for stealing the sausage
01:14containing the priceless painting the title of which you know full well but I
01:20will just remind myself of it oh my god then clump would have run out of paint
01:31the priceless painting itself is even as I speak on its way to the chateau with
01:36Maria for lieutenant Gruber to copy it because he has artistic leanings in fact
01:42lieutenant Gruber is a very long way from the perpendicular
01:49I have been selecting for our wedding night some lovely surprises oh madame Lennar some beautiful
01:56things under the counter she had some pretty good things above the counter
02:03something terrible has happened I followed Maria as you told me she has been arrested by the personal
02:08guard of general von klinkhofen oh my god what will happen to her oh she has nothing to be afraid
02:14of she is
02:15just a slip of a girl well not such a slip concealed among her bosom is the
02:20cannot quest belonging to the colonel containing the real painting is they
02:24torture her she may reveal all our secrets oh my god my hat my coat oh my grave Renée he's
02:33going to
02:33rescue her are you mad I am going to stay with my cousin in Bordeaux he has a loft I
02:41can hide in it until
02:42the end of the war stay where you are you coward how dare you think I'm leaving is this how
02:48you want to be
02:48remembered I do not wish to be remembered at all tell them you've never heard of me
02:53stay where you are until you come to your senses what's going on my wife was just
03:02proposing to me come here come yes ready yeah we have had news from Helga that
03:12air flick is looking for his sausage has been sent to get it you did not tell
03:17Gruber where it was did you well well he threatened to take away my livelihood by driving a tank through
03:23my cafe threatened to drive a tank through your cafe the German spine but you held out well he
03:34threatened to shoot my dear wife that was when I cracked oh so you gave it to him well I
03:40did not
03:41actually give it to him I sent it to lieutenant Gruber so that he could copy it and give it
03:44back
03:44to you the copy will go to air flick and then we are all in the clear and Gruber will
03:49want a piece of
03:50the action there is one snag Colonel the sausage was sent with Maria who has just been captured by
03:56General von Klinkerofen she had the sausage strapped across her bosom any minute now he may get his hands
04:02on it if Maria cracks under the interrogation the general will arrest Rene and if he cracks under
04:10interrogation he will reveal that you gave him the painting to hide and you will be on the carpet dead
04:16all right you're gonna shoot Rene now and stop the lot thank you Edith if you shoot Rene then also
04:24you
04:24will have to shoot me could you shoot her first she is causing a lot of trouble
04:39the French girl is outside are you ready to interview her yes does she give any explanation for her
04:45presence she said she came to see lieutenant Gruber your ADC bring her in and send for lieutenant Gruber
04:50yes sir general in here
05:11you are trembling
05:16you cannot be afraid of me I am not a monster what is your name
05:21Maria come here
05:25you were found snooping around the grounds of my headquarters what were you doing there
05:29I had a rendezvous with lieutenant Gruber
05:33most unlikely story but we should be able to verify this I have sent for him
05:45you have very small feet
05:48you have very small feet
05:49you are still alive
05:51hmm highly big enough to support the rest of you
05:55take off your coat and your hat
05:58I am cold I would rather remain as I am
06:02do not defy me girl or things will not go well for you
06:04I am reluctant
06:05get them off
06:06do you hear me get them off
06:14come in and shut the door
06:18this girl tells me that she came to see you
06:21did you order a girl
06:22no I don't think so
06:26do not be afraid to own up
06:27it is war time and we are the conquerors
06:29we all have our needs
06:31he not did this
06:35see there really is nothing straightforward about you Gruber is there
06:41no you misunderstand you know
06:44no it was necessary for her to conceal the knuckwurst in this fashion
06:50in case the hungry French peasants fell upon her and devoured it
06:57you were of course going to present it to me knowing my taste for such things
07:00and hoping no doubt to ingratiate yourself with me
07:02you have got it in one
07:04give it to me girl
07:11shall I take it and hang it for you in the kitchen
07:14no you will not
07:16no you will not
07:16my my it is a roper
07:20ah
07:20it is only a little swastika
07:22what a thoughtful touch
07:24what are you going to do with it
07:26the kitchen staff are worse than rats
07:28they eat everything
07:29I shall hang it in my wardrobe to mature
07:39you may go Gruber
07:43what about the girl
07:44do you have a use for her
07:46nothing I can think of no
07:49it occurs to me is that some French peasants have stolen the murder of my moor
07:55let it be known that when the motor is returned I will release the girl
08:04go into the bedroom
08:11you may lie down there
08:16no not on the bed on the mat
08:23lonely frauds
08:25do not push your luck
08:29is that my oh anyone
08:37how much longer must I wait here
08:40oh I am here mama
08:42I am here
08:44I have been selecting some lovely things for my wedding night
08:47oh
08:48for your wedding to Monsieur Alphonse
08:52no mama
08:53I am going to marry Renée
08:55Renée
08:56no no no no
08:57no it is
08:58no no
08:58come here come here
09:00sit down
09:01no
09:03do not do this thing
09:05he is a no good bum
09:09but mama I love him
09:11and he is hiding we know not where
09:13a flick of the Gestapo is looking for him
09:16Gestapo
09:17mh
09:26vvenir
09:27WHAT IS THIS OLD BAT DOING IN MY ORBIT?
09:35THIS OLD BAT IS HIDING FROM THE Gestapo
09:46It's a wireless.
09:47Lieutenant, Nighthawk has migrated.
09:50Oh, you have the liver of a lily.
09:53I will get the British Airmen to help.
09:57Hello.
09:59Wireless.
10:00Oh, the thing's going.
10:01Glad we have a red cast, eh?
10:03It's not done.
10:14Hello, Nighthawk.
10:15Hello, Nighthawk.
10:17I'm the Airmen with you.
10:19Over.
10:20Yes, they are both here beside me.
10:22Over.
10:23I have here the commanding officer.
10:26Put them on the van.
10:27Over.
10:30Here.
10:31Hello.
10:33Hello.
10:35Fairfax here.
10:37Hello, Fairfax.
10:38We've come on to Hargreaves here.
10:40It's Randy Hargreaves.
10:42Hello, sir.
10:43Hello.
10:44Hello.
10:45Is there any chance of you two getting back?
10:48We're getting a bit short of pilots.
10:51The resistance are planning to find an old crate from the museum.
10:55They're going to put a motor mower engine in it.
10:58A motor mower engine?
11:00Is it reliable?
11:01Well, he drove a bath chair to the hat shop yesterday.
11:04How for?
11:05I suppose a couple of hundred yards.
11:07Oh, well, we won't count on you, then.
11:09Good luck.
11:09Over and out.
11:10Oh.
11:12It is.
11:12The police are here.
11:14The police!
11:15The police!
11:16Police!
11:17Back, back.
11:18Get there.
11:19No, it is.
11:20It is.
11:20It is.
11:21It is.
11:22It is not the real police.
11:22It is that English idiot who thinks he can't speak French.
11:25Oh.
11:26Good morning.
11:31I have come to arost your mither.
11:35Arost her mother?
11:37Why?
11:37What has she done?
11:38She has been pissing fudged banknotes in the picture.
11:45What does Crabtree say, Edith?
11:47I think he means she has been passing forged banknotes in the ad shop.
11:52But seriously?
11:54Edith, remind him he is supposed to be on our side.
11:58Who is the ugly old bog in the bed beside your mither?
12:03I have been asking the same question.
12:07It is I, Rene.
12:09My, Gid, that was a god de skis.
12:13I was completely deceived by the wog.
12:20Edith, give him 500 francs from the till and tell him to pass off.
12:27There is no need to be road.
12:32Oh, yes.
12:34This was taken last year at the Gestapo holiday camp.
12:39See, they all wear black leather bathing shorts.
12:44Some of them fit very well.
12:48Here we are doing the leapfrog.
12:55Oh, dear.
12:57How amusing.
12:58We have all fallen over into a great big heap.
13:03Now we are struggling to untangle ourselves.
13:07Now we are jumping in the icy waters of the lake.
13:12It's just as well.
13:17Here we are doing the exercises.
13:19Why are some of you wearing skirts?
13:22The ones wearing skirts are girls.
13:26I didn't know you had girls in the Gestapo.
13:30Who do you think types the threatening letters?
13:35Why is my phone ringing?
13:36Answer it.
13:39Why is this phone ringing?
13:41Why do you not read your instructions?
13:44Hairflick has his calls held till five o'clock.
13:47You thought it said what?
13:52It most certainly did not.
13:56Someone has written it down incorrectly.
14:00You thought it said four o'clock.
14:03It's very urgent.
14:04Click.
14:06Yes, von Smallhausen.
14:12I see.
14:13You have done well.
14:14I will deal with the matter.
14:18Von Smallhausen has discovered
14:20that the sausage containing the painting
14:22is hanging in the wardrobe
14:23of the dressing room
14:24of General von Klinkerhofen.
14:27Oh, dear.
14:28What do we do?
14:29What if he has it for breakfast?
14:32We must substitute a real knockwurst
14:35for the knockwurst containing the painting.
14:37But Hairflick,
14:38how do we gain access to the General's quarters
14:41without arousing suspicion?
14:43There are in the chateau
14:45many sea-catacetors.
14:47If the attention of the General
14:49is diverted by a woman
14:51of the opposite sex
14:52in whom he has
14:54already expressed
14:56an interest,
14:57I would have time
14:58to affect the switch.
15:00And where would we find
15:01such a woman?
15:05The General has already
15:07indicated to me
15:08that he considers you
15:09a great piece of crackling.
15:13Do you think I could pull it off?
15:18You have read my thoughts.
15:21You will enter his quarters.
15:23You will take the gramophone.
15:24You will wind it up
15:26and do a teasing dance,
15:27pulling off various outer garments.
15:30This will attract his attention
15:32for two and a half minutes.
15:34Will it work?
15:36It always worked with me.
15:40It's a long, long way
15:42to tip our air.
15:45That's my heart.
15:53Come on, Ilp.
15:54A little bit of cheese
15:55has dropped inside my ear holes.
15:58What shall I do?
15:59Try banging your head
16:00on the table.
16:05The dear captain,
16:06oh, he loves my singing.
16:15Oh, heck.
16:31It is I.
16:36Man of a thousand faces,
16:39everyone the same.
16:42I am an old Italiano organ grinder.
16:46Keep your voice down.
16:47You are embarrassing the monkey.
16:50I have the bad news.
16:52Maria is the hostage.
16:54They will not give her back
16:56till we return the motor
16:58from the war.
16:59We must rescue her.
17:01And the sausage.
17:02The knock horse
17:03that was round her knockers.
17:05He's in the wardrobe
17:07of the general.
17:08Could we not train the monkey
17:10to climb the wall
17:11going through the window
17:12and steal the sausage?
17:14He's been on the organ
17:16for ten years.
17:16He can't even turn on the handle.
17:19Go about your business.
17:21Keep your ear to the ground.
17:22Yeah, rampus,
17:23rampus,
17:24rampus,
17:25rampus,
17:26Oh, no.
17:28Michelle wishes to see you
17:29in the back room.
17:30Ah.
17:31Look after the bar.
17:35Where is she?
17:36I am here.
17:38Oh.
17:43Listen very carefully.
17:44I shall say these only words.
17:46Good.
17:47This position is killing me.
17:49Tonight,
17:50there is no moon.
17:51Here are the final details
17:52of the plan
17:53to enable you
17:54to steal the airplane
17:54from the museum.
17:56What?
17:56We cannot do this.
17:58Maria is in the hands
17:59of General von Klinkerofen.
18:01General von Klinkerofen?
18:02Yes.
18:03Is that ruthless fiend?
18:04He demands the return
18:05of his motor
18:06in exchange for her freedom.
18:08But without the motor,
18:09the plane cannot fly.
18:11So we are up the creek
18:12without the paddle?
18:13Connie and I will rescue her.
18:15You speak for yourself.
18:17I have a plan.
18:19I know all the secret passages
18:21at the chateau.
18:23I worked as a serving maid there
18:24when I was a girl.
18:26That was so long ago
18:27they could all have collapsed
18:28by now.
18:30This is very serious news,
18:32Lieutenant Kruber.
18:33Very serious.
18:36Hans,
18:37you have been
18:38to staff college.
18:39Hmm?
18:39How do you get a sausage
18:40out of a wardrobe
18:42in the General's dressing room?
18:45Hmm.
18:46I think I must have been
18:47away that day.
18:49Colonel,
18:51the Marquis
18:52who constructed the chateau
18:54built into it
18:55many secret passages
18:57in which runaway priests
18:58used to hide.
18:59Who was chasing them?
19:01Mostly the Marquis.
19:03I heard about it
19:04in the chateau library.
19:06There is also a map.
19:08One such passage
19:08leads to the General's
19:10dressing room.
19:11Ah.
19:11Now they're getting there.
19:13You, Hans,
19:14can creep down this passage
19:16and grab the sausage.
19:17But he will see it has gone.
19:19Good point.
19:20Yes, yes, yes.
19:21I thought so too.
19:22I have a very clear
19:24analytical mind, you know.
19:29It's still there,
19:30like I said.
19:33You will put another
19:34sausage in its place.
19:35Another sausage?
19:36But what if the General
19:37comes out of his bedroom
19:38while I'm doing this?
19:40I have it.
19:41Lieutenant Gruber
19:42can occupy
19:43the attention
19:44of the General.
19:48I do not quite see
19:49how I could do this.
19:50Oh.
19:51You will find it easy.
19:52You have an engaging,
19:53sparkling personality,
19:55a roguish smile.
19:58What German general
19:59could resist you
19:59at one o'clock
20:00in the morning
20:00with a bottle of whiskey
20:01in your pyjamas?
20:04I, uh,
20:05I learned that
20:05at the staff college.
20:08Very well.
20:08I will do it.
20:09Good.
20:14So, while I am leaving
20:16Rennie through
20:16the secret passages
20:17to switch the sausages
20:18in the wardrobe
20:19in the dressing room,
20:21you, Yvette,
20:21will enter the chateau
20:22disguised as a serving maid.
20:26You will go to the bedroom
20:28of the General
20:29within our water bottle.
20:31You will give Maria
20:31this note
20:32telling her
20:33of a secret entrance
20:34inside the wardrobe
20:35in the bedroom.
20:36You will then
20:37distract him
20:37for two minutes.
20:38She can make her escape
20:39and when he can get
20:40the sausage.
20:41A more air-brained scheme
20:43I have never
20:44in my life heard.
20:46But how do I
20:47distract the General?
20:48Shall I take
20:49the flying helmet
20:49and the wet celery?
20:52No, you are a serving maid.
20:55Make do with a feather duster
20:56and a tin of runnock.
21:04Are you listening?
21:06A dish, a snack.
21:08Send up some smoked salmon,
21:09caviar, cold chicken,
21:12strudel,
21:13and a bottle of champagne
21:14on ice.
21:14Is that clear?
21:17Let it be done.
21:19General,
21:20please,
21:21may I return
21:22to my home now?
21:23Certainly not.
21:24You are my hostage.
21:25You will remain here.
21:27But I am a civilized person.
21:29I will allow you
21:30to share in my snack.
21:31I will never eat
21:32with an enemy of France.
21:34Oh, the night is young.
21:35We shall see.
21:36Get back on the mat.
21:42You must stay close.
21:44These passages
21:45are very complicated.
21:46For the sake
21:47I've ever needed,
21:48I...
22:16Honey?
22:18Rene, where are you?
22:27If you do not stay close behind me, you will get lost.
22:31Where are we now?
22:32This is the great horn.
22:34When I was a serving girl, I used to polish it.
22:36What are we doing here? We are supposed to be in the bedroom.
22:39It is a shortcut.
22:40Who ever heard of a shortcut in a secret passage?
22:44Somebody's coming. What?
23:04They have gone.
23:06We are going to get caught. I know it. We are going to get caught.
23:09I can't see.
23:15At the end of the stairs is the entrance to another secret passage,
23:19which leads to the general's dressing room.
23:21Follow me.
23:26I like polish.
23:40Where are they?
23:41In the cellars.
23:43In the cellars.
23:43I know that.
23:45In the cellars.
23:46In the cellars.
23:46We are on Cuba's plan of the shut door.
23:50It all depends on whether that is the north or whether that is the north.
23:55Have you got a compass?
23:56I have one on my Swiss Army knife.
23:59Hang on.
24:00Here we are.
24:03That is the north.
24:06In that case, we are going the wrong way.
24:11Get!
24:12Somebody!
24:13Come here!
24:14Who are you?
24:16What are you doing?
24:19Oh!
24:22Hans, you fool!
24:24What are you doing?
24:25You're knocking out our own people.
24:27It was a good shot, wasn't it?
24:35No!
24:39No!
24:40No!
24:42No!
24:42No!
24:43No!
24:47No!
24:48No!
24:48What are you looking for?
24:49It was concealed around here in Merb.
24:52Well, hurry up and find it.
24:54Yvette will be doing her piece in three minutes.
24:56No!
24:57No!
25:01Shhh!
25:04Rikki Bouties?
25:06Rikki!
25:07Hide.
25:11Run ee!
25:12No, no!
25:13Wait go somewhere else!
25:14No!
25:15Get a hurricane!ait
25:23do it! GJ
25:26again in the sweater! L-
25:37We did.
25:38You did not tell me this place was haunted.
25:41A sort of honor with a limp has just walked by.
25:44Hey, look out.
25:45Somebody else is coming.
25:57Oh, my God.
26:36Oh, my God.
26:48Who is there?
26:49Your refreshments.
26:51A moment.
26:52Come here.
26:53It is not seemly that a German general should be seen in a bedroom with a French peasant girl.
26:57Get in the cupboard and stay there.
27:03Temp up.
27:05I'm afraid so I was no caviar left in the room.
27:08No caviar?
27:09I'm sorry.
27:11It's glad I have obtained some cold rock.
27:13Hmm.
27:13Unfortunately, I think it tells a difference.
27:16Oh, I'm sorry.
27:17Did I bring it in?
27:19Yeah, of course.
27:40The coast is clear.
27:42Come out.
27:43Will you join me in a glass of champagne?
27:47Only if you promise to release me.
27:50We will discuss this after dinner.
27:58Who is there?
27:59It is the maid.
28:00A moment.
28:01Come back in the cupboard.
28:06What sort of a relationship are we going to have if you keep thrusting me back into the cupboard every
28:10time we have trapped it?
28:12When the maid is gone, we will be alone.
28:18Hand up.
28:21I've come to warm your bed, Herr General.
28:23That will not be necessary.
28:25My bed will be warmed by other more interesting muscles.
28:29We may turn it down.
28:30Yes, Herr General.
28:44What are you doing under the bed?
28:46What are you doing in the commode?
28:49I have come up the wrong passage.
28:57How do we get in?
28:59I am looking for the knob.
29:04How is it that I have not seen you before?
29:08Normally, I am peeling potatoes in the kitchen.
29:12But I can also peel other things.
29:21How dare you assume that the German general would compromise himself with a serving girl?
29:26Who is there?
29:27It is I, Helga.
29:31What do you want?
29:32I have for you a present from Herr Flick.
29:35A moment.
29:36I will hand in the wardrobe.
29:38No, no, no.
29:38It's full under the bed.
29:45Do not ask.
29:49Rita.
29:53The present.
29:56Am I to understand it?
29:57And Herr Flick has sent to me as a present at one o'clock in the morning a gramophone?
30:01Not only this, General.
30:03He has sent me.
30:04Oh, I shall.
30:09I shall.
30:54What's going on in there?
30:56Helga is doing a striptease.
30:58We haven't got time for that.
31:01Helga!
31:20Oh, come on in.
31:21I'm all steamed up.
31:23The sausage.
31:24Oh, the sausage.
31:34You've got to go.
31:35Oh, come on.
31:37Oh, come on in.
31:49Oh, my God.
31:51My God, if he finds me under here, I am a dead duck.
32:04Oh, my God.
32:21So it's too late, so we can die in one grand in place.
32:27William!
32:28What are you doing in the wardrobe with Maria?
32:32You stupid woman.
32:34What do you think I am doing in the wardrobe with Maria?
32:37She has fainted with cold fear.
32:39I am reviving her with the heat from my body.
32:43Just wait till I get you home.
32:45Come on in.
32:54I am reviving her with the heat from my body.
33:12Oh, dear.
33:13Is there anything I can do?
33:17Yes, mine's a gramophone.
33:19And if you don't fancy the one by the bed,
33:21there's a spare in the wardrobe.
33:22No, no, no, no, no.
33:26I am reviving my job.
33:27I am reviving my job.
Comments