The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:29I'll see you next time.
00:35America I'm paying the price I mean paying the price for being Bernie Mac paying the price for
00:42telling the truth speaking my mind I don't want to hurt anybody's feeling but sometimes people
00:49take my words the wrong way they make a big deal out of nothing you don't think so you watch
00:55this
00:56you've been brief baby let me tell you something I love my wife but if something happens to her man
01:03I'm telling America I'll never get married again oh come on you don't know what I ain't making love
01:13to no woman but my wife okay wait a minute wait a minute you're a movie star okay movie star
01:18okay
01:18I mean you must have worked with some beautiful women okay true true that true that but I'm a
01:22professional I'm on the set it's all about work okay okay we got all that but if you had a
01:28free
01:28pass who would you sleep there you go yeah ask me nothing personal would you sleep with Holly Bear
01:40I'm saying if something were to happen to my wife uh-huh I say she did okay okay she ain't
01:46in the
01:46coffee she layin' over there music you singin' everything I would invite Holly Bear to sit right
01:51next to her oh okay we go to the funeral you know I supposed to be sad I look weak
01:57you know go to the
01:59all gonna bury her man throw that first dirt on her you know I might get some sympathy
02:05I will play until the end see I was just entertaining the people on the morning drive doing what I
02:23do best now I ask you who could possibly be upset by
02:30that Bernie do you know how embarrassed I was yeah one I'm sorry I swear I didn't mean them by
02:38how do you
02:39think it makes me look the Richter's are my friends you stood us up we waited for you for 45
02:45minutes the
02:47Richter's oh my god babe I suppose I had drinks with y'all today I'm sorry baby I rescheduled I'm
03:02sorry forgive me
03:06thank you so much better I thought you was upset about something else
03:16what else would I be upset with you about let's move on baby Barney
03:27you know I did a radio show this morning right America I learned my lesson from now on I'm not
03:34saying a doggone word I'm keeping my big mouth shut you said that on the air they're just jokes baby
03:44it's not funny oh come on why don't you just talk about the Rick oh no Bernie I was
03:52annoyed about the Richter's I am livid about this live it that's two degrees past piss
04:14this is delicious kids don't you tell y'all wonder how good dinner is
04:20my fish is bony shut up
04:24best fish I've tasted babe
04:27Bernie I know what you're doing you know what I'm doing babe I just want you to know how much
04:32I
04:33appreciate you in my life oh really yeah you appreciate me in your life
04:41what's that oh I think that was a bone I'm sorry that was your uncle Bernie's piece
05:06now the part about me being dead did I come from you or from them no one came from me
05:13you brought
05:15Halle Berry to my funeral as a date you wasn't dead yet I mean it's just a fantasy just a
05:24fantasy
05:25yeah the woman is driving me crazy America was I so wrong was I so wrong hell yeah you was
05:37wrong
05:38now get back in here so we could finish this discussion like Halle Berry well won't you that's cool
05:48I'm talking about Alaska cold have you ever seen the black Eskimo here or no looking like this here
05:54you know we can't take no cold you know women always want to put you down tell you down tell
06:00you don't
06:00Halle Berry don't want me if she'll start tightening up acting right she'll be spending the rest of her night
06:05all by herself gotta put me down kill my spirits Halle Berry don't want you you'd be surprised who's
06:12going to meet huh I still got a little bit tough I still got a little bit more you see
06:30America I ain't lying
06:33she's sleeping alone and if she don't calm down she's gonna sleep alone again tomorrow I'm still the
06:39master of this house y'all better recognize it I'm gonna tell you something else I'm gonna do the radio
06:47show again tomorrow so excuse me America I gotta get some rest
06:57it ain't bleeding
07:07Jordan come out of there no you can't stand there all day
07:13I've only been teasing no father ever since you humiliated the boy on the radio Mr. Mack
07:19you want to know how I got into this my second day on the radio
07:33I'm telling you the truth the boy is soft he's so soft made like ice cream like a kitten head
07:39his
07:40nickname is pillow hello but why can't you do something to toughen the boy up what you want
07:44me to do Clyde I don't know I hit the boy for nothing I throw him down don't do no
07:49good hit him in the face
07:50you know I took him to the back cage right I held him let the ball hit him all over
07:55the chest you
07:56know I'm switching I'm hitting the ball left and right he's sitting up there he looking through the
08:01fence crying wheezing I mean he looking through the gate you know wheezing what are you looking at
08:08there's a pottery shop across the street you want to go I don't know you can't go I'm gonna show
08:15you how
08:15the back wife won't looking at me think I'm abusing you know what I mean I take the punk across
08:20the
08:20street you took him there I took the punk I think the punk on brows and everything you know he
08:25inside
08:26I'm waiting outside he don't wait I'm waiting he come on man 12 and guess what it did what did
08:31he do
08:31he made us some cups he made you some pottery cup design got all our names hey Jordan you want
08:41to come to my house and play sure good because my sister's having a tea party you can make the
08:45cups they've been pretty hard on them huh I don't know the specifics mr. Mack when those kids get to
08:59teasin I could reopen the wounds of Jesus
09:09Jordan listen son I didn't mean anything I'm a comedian and and sometime I put a hundred on ten and
09:18that mean I make little things big it's made believe son that's what show business is all about
09:30y'all believe that huh y'all think he's soft well how many you all think y'all could beat
09:37Jordan up
09:39every last one of you huh all right well how many you all think y'all could beat me up
09:45I do hope
09:47there's a point to this line of question and mr. Mack as Dalton Thomas said show me the stigmata let
09:54me
09:54father let me tell you all something right now that boys not soft he's bold he's fearless let me tell
10:05you
10:05all the story I had a deep dish apple pie I went to the refrigerator apple pie gone I mean
10:14pie nowhere
10:15nobody's in the house with me and Jordan there's George sitting at the end of the table with a face
10:21full
10:21of crumbs I asked him what happened to my pie he said surprise a food burglar I said what I
10:28know was
10:28a lie I just want to hear it again he said I surprised a full burger like a burning I
10:35eat nothing let me
10:37tell you something you can't be saw to tell a bold-faced lie like that you got to be bold
10:43to be this dog on
10:45stupid so let me ask you all another question which one of y'all think y'all bold enough to
10:51eat my apple pie
10:52say it say it up go ahead I think so so I guess this this boy ain't soft at all
11:03and let me tell you all
11:05something that I got a million stories like that I can tell you that boy ain't soft he's my comic
11:12inspiration tell me about the time I put your car in gear let it roll down the driveway that's a
11:18good one
11:19that was you everything okay with Jordan it's fine baby Bernie Mac saved the day once again
11:38might as well give your man some hood why don't you let Hallie hug you I'm sick of that won't
11:43you stop
11:43doing that all right why don't you pick somebody that's the only way you gonna make yourself feel
11:48better go pick somebody no it's stupid no it's stupid you keep talking about Holly come on pick
11:53somebody who you gonna be Denzel Wesley Chestnut Tyree go pick somebody cuz they don't bother me that
12:00could bothers you it bothers you you not letting it go no you not letting it go all right fine
12:04I guess
12:05I pick rolling see came right out your mouth so he rolled it how rolling is play on soldier story
12:14he
12:14didn't I mean rolling my mechanic your mechanic he ain't no celebrity so so you're supposed to pick a
12:23celebrity like Holly Bay I don't know her you know him you see this kid every time you go get
12:28oil change
12:29I don't know him yes you do you saw him when we dropped my car off roll roll which one
12:41was rolling
12:59I don't know him oh come on now you know what Bernie I do feel better what's wrong with you
13:14you
13:15almost gave you all right in a heart attack it's funny right uncle Bernie yeah I'm not you can use
13:20that yeah I'm not gonna think of some more funny stuff
13:30hey hey you're gliding with Clyde and Cheryl here on Bernie Mac week so Bernie how did the kids come
13:36to live with you they don't mention those doggone kids to me man every time I think about them man
13:41I want to kill them oh come on it can't be that bad it is that doggone bad Clyde let
13:45me tell you
13:45it's a long story first of all see my sister don't drug and I want to get the kid before
13:50the state
13:53you know I try to help my sister time and time and time again she don't want no dog on
14:00help I put
14:01in rehab don't you told me watch the last time I put in she ain't going there that's for quitters
14:07oh
14:07no she's gonna keep smoking until she get it right
14:17hi excuse me aren't you Vanessa yeah is your uncle a comedian yes he is oh my gosh I heard
14:26him
14:27on the radio this morning you know he is really funny I think that it is so cool how you
14:34and your
14:34brother and sister survived your mom's crisis your life is really interesting hey baby hey whatever
14:47happens that old fat guy used to work on your car I don't drive a camera anymore we'll start Monday
14:54let it go I ain't letting go of nothing you act petty acrobation hold on she walking in the door
14:58as we speak I'll call you back where you been Vanessa at school you wasn't at school when I can't
15:05even
15:05pick you up maybe because I didn't want to ride with you in your big mouth what do you say
15:10to me
15:10you don't need to be telling my mother's business to everybody if you got a problem with me you come
15:15and talk to me so we can try to work it out I'm not trying to be in your act
15:20I said I'm sick of you closing doors up in my house I'm sick of you talking about my mother
15:24who do you think you are who do I think I am I'm the guy that got you and your
15:28brother sister up in
15:29here in my house I'm the man who clothes on your back and food in your belly that's the man
15:34who I
15:34think I am you know you're right what you're absolutely right it's not that big a deal and
15:45I overreacted you have the right to say whatever you want to say okay this squash right everything
15:56seems cool but didn't it come a little quick I know I did right now keep watching this is what
16:02happened the next day you're on the morning glide with Clyde Cheryl and Bernie Mac Cheryl and my house
16:08you're looking good too baby we've got another color hi Uncle Bernie who's that Nessa you're a big
16:14fake oh look look here everybody got come on anybody got no time for this bowl now oh this could
16:20be hot
16:21go ahead Nessa you're always talking about keeping it real and telling the truth but you don't keep
16:27it real Clyde I want you to take another call we got time for a foolishness not now Bernie go
16:31ahead
16:31Nessa elaborate he's always smoking these Cuban cigars is that illegal last time I checked that's
16:39his last name's Castro let me tell you something you little stupid how come you're in school no no no
16:44no you know what they'd be a gift people be always giving you know how to give you a lot
16:48but he's the
16:49only one that smokes the good cigars his friends just think they smoke Cubans he puts Cuban labels on
16:55the cheap ones he gives them that's that's not true that's not true so you see see uh Chewy he
17:01only smoke a little bit I tell them these cigars cost $20 a stick you just don't keep wasting them
17:06like that Clyde what would you do hey you're right you're right you know say gotta smoke it all the
17:10way up you know what I mean what else why don't you got that Nessa have you ever noticed how
17:14he's
17:14always calling himself Bernie Mac Bernie Mac so great Bernie Mac so smart Bernie Mac just likes to say
17:21Bernie Mac you know I did notice that Bernie Mac in the music first of all I ain't that kind
17:26of
17:26vain I'm not that vain of a person plus he's been nice to you guys all week but you don't
17:32hear what
17:32he says about you when he comes home oh and what does he say let's move on well he says
17:39that that
17:40lady is lucky she works in radio I let's take another call yeah let's do that let's do that let's
17:53do
17:53that all right all right uh let's see here what we got here uh we got uh uh Chewy on
17:58line three what's
17:58up Chewy you're on with Bernie Mac Chewy sure we need you to speak right now look I ain't never
18:05try to hurt
18:06I never say nothing about your mama now my man Chewy won't even talk to me and I lost my
18:12Cuban
18:12connection and I still gotta go in tomorrow I'm tired of this it ends today hey listen I want to
18:24talk
18:24to all of you all where's your brother here I am I'm backwards man you're not stupid you can use
18:34that in your act
18:34tomorrow on the radio John come over here and sit down I'm not using nothing in no act you're not
18:39going to be here so you might as well stop your antics and zip your pants if I can see
18:42your ass
18:47now look I know you all were very upset with me this week because of something I went on the
18:52radio
18:53and I said and I want you all to know that I'm deeply sorry but you all need to understand
18:58I went
18:59on the radio with great intentions I went on the radio to make people laugh because that's what I do
19:06I'm a comedian and the last thing I want to do is hurt the people I love the most
19:11sister but y'all gotta let me be me I just happen to know how to make fun of my
19:20problems
19:22and to Nessa I want to say I'm sorry I said some things about your mother and I know that
19:30hurt you
19:31deeply but what you got to understand sweetheart that's my sister and I love her too and we just
19:38deal with our pain differently and no matter what the outcome is I love you guys despite what I might
19:47say
19:54you cool
19:58all right go out of your room
20:05Uncle Bernie
20:06yeah baby girl
20:08you didn't say anything bad about me on the radio
20:13baby girl go out of your room
20:23I heard everything that you said
20:26it was very sweet
20:29I'm fine if you're fine
20:33well I feel much better now
20:36I feel even better if you drop it like it's hot
20:40drop it with me baby
20:46I won't mention Halle Berry if you don't mention Rowan
20:49Rowan
20:51I'll just keep
20:52I love you Wanda
20:54I love you too baby
20:58come on
21:00Wanda
21:02Wanda
21:02Bernie
21:03it's time
21:05I know you're right
21:07I just can't believe she gone baby
21:09where am I doing that
21:11I mean she was cute
21:14but you got to get over this
21:17come on
21:17you think I won't
21:18come on
21:19what time I'm flat baby
21:20now
21:20come on
21:24what what
21:25taking Halle to my funeral
21:28baby you dreaming about Halle
21:30no not anymore I'm up
21:32I was too
21:34oh you in trouble boy
21:35you the fuck
21:38I'm telling you
21:39I'm so glad she got all those to do
21:42you know
21:42she had cute toes
21:43yeah she don't cook
21:44she did have some cute toes
21:45maybe she don't cook
21:46what's wrong with that one
21:46that one broke
21:47okay
21:48y'all
21:48okay
21:49I ain't had enough
21:50enough
21:52I don't know why you married her
21:54I don't know why you married her
21:54I don't know why you married her
21:55well
21:55I'll tell you why you married her
21:56cause I'm the
21:58get your ass out
21:59oh I'll get my ass out
22:00don't make me take my
22:02you better
22:03take my shoe
22:03help me
22:04oh lord
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