The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:17America. This past week has been a real emotional time for me. So I went back home to Chicago
00:24to attend a funeral. My old favorite uncle, Uncle Ellison. And you know, being back home
00:30surrounded by all my loved ones, I come to realize one thing. I hate my loved ones. They
00:37make me sick. And you know what I'm talking about, America. Y'all got some relatives you
00:44wish we'd be missing too. I can't take it no more. America, burning magnets are breaking.
00:58All right, we're off like a dirty shirt. First thing we're going to do, we're going to stop
01:01and get something to eat. Something you're going to eat in Chicago. Oh, D-Dish pizza. I
01:06love Chicago D-Dish pizza. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it ain't
01:12no pizza. What? That's right. It's a hot dog. Hot dog? Your dog all right. Authentic Deanna
01:19Chicago style. Come on, come on, come on. Hold, hold, hold, hold. Come on, baby. Are you
01:24a seat? Are you a seat?
01:27Yes, I'll hold. Which judge you like? Judge Mills Lane or Judge Judy?
01:34Ooh, I love Judge Mathis. He is smart.
01:39That's nice, Aunt Liva. Oh, she is? Well, when does work detail it? Those people on divorce
01:51court are stupid. I like Judge Maybelline, though. She's fair. Uh-huh. Yeah, I did call
02:01earlier. But I'm at a new number now. 818-555-5960. Can you please make sure she gets the message?
02:13What? It's her daughter, Vanessa. I got a dressed-up Chicago-style hot dog. Baby, I got some old
02:24American mustard, not that old French crap. Look at this. It's a relish. Sawed crap and
02:33some onion. First one on you, baby girl. But I want it plain. Baby girl, this is better
02:38than plain. Just try it. Take a bite. No. What's wrong with her? This is a masterpiece.
02:44A Mac Angelo. She don't know what's good. I love you. Can't find it nowhere. Not New York.
02:53Huh? Cleveland. Huh? L.A. You're so silly. Cut the camera off.
03:11All right, here you go, your old born hot dog. Put no Chicago on.
03:26Okay, so this is my cell phone number. That and a six? Yeah, it's 818-555-5960.
03:39Okay. But you probably won't have to use it because I won't become one.
03:43Yeah.
03:49When I wake up in the morning, love. And the sunlight hurts my eyes.
03:58There's something without warning, love. That's heavy on my mind.
04:15You know who that? It's Bernie Mac. Bernie? It is I? Bernie Mac!
04:21Ha ha! Willie, what's up, baby? What are you doing in town, man?
04:26My uncle, he listed. He passed. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah.
04:30Yeah, yeah, I remember him. Used to come in, see the show all the time. Sure did.
04:34Wild turkey and coke, no ice. No tip. That's him. Willie, this is my wife, my nephew, and my niece.
04:42Hey, kids. Did you know that your uncle is the funniest comedian that ever walked into this place?
04:48Oh, no. I don't know about all that, Willie. There was some funny cats that come through here now.
04:53Yeah, yeah. But you know what? They weren't Bernie Mac.
04:57Man, does some of the old cats still come through here, man?
04:59Oh, yeah. Lots of them. They come up. That's good, man. Yeah.
05:01What about Tony Kaye? That brother was funny. Tony Kaye.
05:06Yeah. No, he don't come up there, no.
05:08Michael? No, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You talking about Michael M.C. or Big Mike Michael?
05:14Either. No. Oh, man. Uncle Bernie, I have to use the restroom.
05:19Okay, okay, son. Wait a minute. What about some of the old cats used to work here, like Cleet?
05:23Uncle Bernie. Huh? I'll take him. Good. Thank you, baby. Cleet. What about Jack, Willie?
05:29Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack. Fat Jack. Yeah, buck teeth. He tried to cover that mustache.
05:35Oh, yeah. Jack. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. He don't work here no more. Oh, he don't, huh?
05:40No, no. He got stabbed. No. Oh, yeah. He got stabbed?
05:46Yes, he did. What about Donnie? He still come around?
05:49Well, Donnie's one with stabbing. Get out of here.
05:53Aunt Wanda, what's ribbed for her pleasure mean?
06:00He barely... No.
06:03Oh, Willie. No. Willie, it was nice meeting you. Bernie, we're going.
06:07No, no. W-w-w-w-wanna. Willie, tell him about the heckler, the Warren Hudson's shot. We'll sit right
06:12over there. Tell him that one.
06:13Yeah, yeah. Uh, we'll see you in the car. Yeah.
06:16Oh, all right, all right, all right, all right. You can.
06:23Hey, look at you. Right now. What's in Nikki?
06:27So, Hollywood? Back already? Yeah, I had to come for a funeral. Wait, you knew T-Dog? No.
06:33So, how's California? You seen any movie stars? Did you meet Lil' Bow Wow? No, just a couple of my
06:39uncle's comedian friends.
06:40Oh, what's this house like? Is it big? Not that big. You got your own room? Yeah. It's big. It's
06:45probably like cribs, I bet. Uh-huh.
06:47Look, it's not that big of a deal. I mean, I like it better here. Girl, you're crazy.
06:52Uh-uh. Well, you can stay here, and I'll just go back to Kelly and kick it in the big
06:56house.
06:56All right. You can't take the ghetto off the ground. Yeah, that's true.
07:03Well, Vanessa, I like your shoes. Those are tight. Girl, you know it's just hot. How much was that?
07:09I don't know. They give my uncle stuff sometimes. What? You don't have to pay. Girls like you Venus or
07:16Serena or something.
07:18They're all right. They're better than them raggedy shoes you got on. Forget you. I'm hungry. Let's go to high
07:24B's.
07:25You ain't got no money. Who needs money? Let's roll. I got money. Let me buy.
07:34I don't need your money, Hollywood. You need somebody's money. Shut up. You think you all that high?
07:45I remember when your ass wasn't too good to lift what you wanted from that store.
07:49Now it's my uncle this and my uncle that. He ain't even that funny.
07:54The kings of comedy was funny. Mm-hmm. Whatever.
07:58Don't turn your back on me like you better than somebody. I don't care how large you're living.
08:02Your mama's still a crackhead. Oh, so what you bad now?
08:09Oh, it's about to get cracked. Come on, girl.
08:12Don't let her do it like that. Right there. Right there.
08:16Yeah, that's right. What you gonna do now, huh? What you gonna do now, huh? Huh?
08:22I got her shoes.
08:29How you like that, Hollywood?
08:32Come on, Ray.
08:40I said come on.
08:56Hey!
09:01Hello?
09:05Mom?
09:08Where are you?
09:12I've been calling you and calling you.
09:18I know, but I really need you.
09:23I really need to see you.
09:29Really?
09:35I'm near the rec center.
09:42Yeah, that's where we used to get chili burgers.
09:49Okay.
09:53About a half hour.
09:58I love you.
10:19Hey, baby girl.
10:21What was your favorite part of Uncle Bernie 2 in Chicago?
10:24I liked the part when we ate cereal and I had the hotel.
10:27Just the cereal part?
10:29What about the part I took into the barbershop before I show you where I buy my shoes?
10:32That was stupid.
10:35Stupid.
10:36Yeah, okay, I got you, stupid.
10:38I'll tell you what.
10:39Wherever you all wanna go, that's where we'll go.
10:41Just tell me, where you wanna go?
10:43To a bathroom.
10:44What?
10:45Those hot dogs don't agree with me.
10:47Could we please get to a bathroom now?
10:50Yeah.
10:51Aunt Wanda's got duty.
11:01Hey, baby, you all right?
11:02I feel so much better, honey.
11:04Uh-oh.
11:05Oh, you gotta go?
11:06Oh, no.
11:07Come on, y'all.
11:07Come on, honey.
11:08Come on, quick.
11:08You two little have anything left.
11:11Aw.
11:11Hold it, hold it.
11:11Bernie!
11:12Yo!
11:13We got a problem!
11:14Oh, Lord.
11:20What's wrong, baby?
11:23Oh, Lord!
11:24Honey, go get the holes.
11:32Okay, honey.
11:33Okay.
11:33Woo!
11:34Honey, that was neat.
11:35I'm sorry, baby.
11:36I'm sorry.
11:37I'm sorry.
11:38Turn around.
11:38Baby, don't drown the baby.
11:40Turn around.
11:41Okay.
11:42She did all that?
11:43Ah!
11:44Woo!
11:45Stay good, stay good.
11:46Okay, woo!
11:52Hold it still, baby.
11:53Woo!
11:54Get ready, baby.
11:55Oh, honey.
11:56Honey.
11:56Look out.
11:57Lower on the pressure.
11:58I can.
12:00Woo!
12:01Woo!
12:02Okay, baby, get my feet right quick.
12:04Come on, now.
12:04Okay, okay.
12:05Okay, okay.
12:06I'm gonna turn her around.
12:07I'm gonna turn her around.
12:08I'm about to fall out.
12:08I'm sure.
12:09Okay, baby, I'm sorry.
12:09I'm sorry.
12:10Okay, just a little bit.
12:11Just a little bit.
12:11Just a little bit.
12:12All right, right there.
12:13This should be right here.
12:14Right here.
12:15Good.
12:19Take clothes off real quick.
12:22Babe, it's on his way.
12:23I didn't tell you to get naked, Jordan.
12:27Come on.
12:31Hurry up, baby.
12:32Come on.
12:35Come on.
12:36Come on.
12:36Hurry up, baby.
12:37It's not my fault.
12:38They can't handle a good hot dog.
12:40Jordan didn't get sick, and he's weaker than a refugee.
12:42I just wanted to show them my town my way, but they had to ruin it for me.
12:47Chicago, I'm not mad at you.
12:49I'm just mad at those doggone kids.
12:53They gave you too many peppers.
12:59Excuse me, America.
13:02Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
13:09It's not warm when she's away.
13:15Ain't no sunshine when she's gone, and she's always gone.
13:21It's not long when she's gone too long anytime she goes away.
13:28Wonder this time where she's gone.
13:34Wonder if she's gone to stay.
13:41Ain't no sunshine when she's gone, and this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away.
13:53And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I
13:59know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I
14:04know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
14:09I want you to scrub and no splash.
14:13Don't put no water in her hair.
14:16Stop, Jordan.
14:18Devin done put no soap in her eyes.
14:20Hello?
14:21What?
14:22What are you?
14:24What you mean come get you?
14:28Come on, baby, get my key.
14:31All right, listen, just stay right there.
14:32I'm on my way, okay?
14:35Bernie, Vanessa's not at Aunt Lemos.
14:37I know.
14:39She's okay, I'm going to get her.
14:40I'll be right back, okay?
14:42Anytime she goes away
14:48Anytime she goes away
14:54Anytime she goes away
15:14Are you going to be okay?
15:20Why does she always do this?
15:23Why?
15:26Why can't she be like other moms?
15:29It's not fair.
15:33I know it's not fair.
15:35That's...
15:38I'm going to tell you something.
15:42I'm going to tell you something I never told nobody.
15:45Ever.
15:47When I was a little boy
15:51Maybe eight years old
15:52I had a birthday party
15:56Nothing special
15:58Just a few balloons
16:01G.I. Joe
16:03And Big Mama gave me $15
16:08Nessa, that was the most money I've ever had in my life
16:14And my father called
16:18And said he was on his way
16:21He never showed up?
16:24Oh yeah, he showed up
16:27He showed up late
16:31But I was so excited
16:32Nessa, I didn't even care
16:38Then he started telling me
16:39About how his car broke down
16:41And he had no idea
16:42Or how he was going to get the money
16:44I kept hollering
16:45I got some money
16:46I got some money
16:48And I ran in my room
16:50And I broke my piggy bank
16:53And he grabbed my $15
16:58The funny thing about it was
17:00Big Mama called him down the street
17:02And she bashed his head
17:03It was a skillet
17:06She brought my $15 back
17:09Well, Paul and I tried to say
17:10Nessa's
17:13Parents were making mistakes
17:16Sometimes they make big ones
17:19See, me and you, we lucky
17:23We got people in our lives
17:25That really, really love us
17:28Like my Uncle Elliston
17:31Although he wasn't my real uncle
17:34But I know he loved me
17:37So my point I'm trying to say
17:39Nessa is
17:40You're a big girl now
17:43You can make decisions for yourself
17:47If you want to go see your mother
17:51I'd be more than happy
17:52To take you to see your mother
17:56No
17:58I just want to go home
18:03Hey
18:04I'll have you in a hotel in a minute
18:07No, I mean home
18:09Home
18:11You know what, Nessa?
18:14Two
18:22Your Uncle Lister wanted you to have it
18:24Oh, his tackle box
18:28Open it later
18:30Oh, baby
18:31It won't bite you
18:32Come on, y'all
18:33Let's take a picture
18:34Come on
18:34Baby girl, come on
18:39Okay
18:41Come on, baby
18:41Come on
18:42Okay
18:42Baby, I'm gonna
18:42Get
18:43Gotcha
18:44Gotcha
18:46Gotcha
18:48Gotcha
18:49I don't know.
19:19Oh, baby, a bunch of clippers and pictures.
19:21Wanda, this man kept every clipping from when I was a kid all the way up to my career now.
19:27Oh, look, a baby picture of you.
19:30I've never seen this before.
19:32I haven't either.
19:33Wow, look at you. You look chunky.
19:36I'm kind of thick.
19:38Somewhat swole.
19:41Look at that, 1923, Elister Bernard Dower.
19:46Oh, my God, his baby picture looks exactly like you.
19:50Damn, Shaw, do it on it.
19:52Mm-hmm.
19:55That's something, that he kept all these things for so many years.
20:01Baby, your uncle really loved you.
20:07He did, didn't he?
20:09Mm-hmm.
20:12One, he said all this for me.
20:14Mm-hmm.
20:24Yeah.
20:28Yeah.
20:28Oh, my God.
20:29So, that's what I'm doing.
20:32Oh, my God.
20:34Wow.
20:35Yeah.
20:40Oh, my God.
20:42Yeah.
21:42And we saw all these dead pigs.
21:44I mean, it was kind of nasty.
21:45Yeah, I mean, that's what I thought.
21:47And then we ate these hot dogs.
21:49They were good, but they had this bright green stuff.
21:51And then my sister threw up, and we had to go to this gas station, and we had diarrhea.
21:56Ooh, burned.
21:57And then we went to this old, old club.
22:00I mean, that my Uncle Bernie used to work at.
22:01And then I went into the restroom.
22:03Do you know what ribbed for her pleasure means?
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