- 8 hours ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:16Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:31hey come on i'm serious i never went on a date with a woman with a job
00:36all right all right let me give you let me give you two pieces of advice from
00:40from my corporate side of the fence
00:45first of all see for executives our life it's all stress everything is stress so if you want
00:50this woman to care about you be sensitive to what she needs all right and number two
00:55oh yeah don't do that thing with your armpit okay thanks because i had that plan during soup
01:08hey sarah hey gracie what an unexpected surprise look i'm afraid we're gonna have to reschedule our
01:14date i just got a last minute call from my boss he wants me at a very important meeting tomorrow
01:18now i have to do some research at the law library i've got a ton of work and i've got
01:22one night to
01:23do it oh honey mommy just needs one quiet night okay i take that as a no what are you
01:32gonna do
01:33you gonna drop her off to babysitters no all the sitters i trust are unavailable i'm taking her
01:37with me no you're not no you're not because i am being sensitive to your sensitive needs
01:45and i am not gonna be stood up by two girls in one night so if you go gracie stand
01:50huh huh
01:54pretty sensitive huh mikey yes but see there's a sensitive ceiling that i want to tell you about
01:59you oh no oh you'd really do this for me joey gosh i can actually concentrate on my work without
02:07worrying about gracie with some sitter i don't know thanks joey
02:14i'm glad to do it really oh and thank you too michael
02:18i know this is inconvenient but you're saving my life oh hey no
02:25i'll go get her diaper bag from the cab
02:26okay yes you all you know me you you bought the puppy you walk the puppy
02:39you take care of that puppy and you clean up and you feed that puppy i will be working
02:44in my pathetic little work area and i will not know that there is a baby in this house
02:48yeah yeah yeah right right right i'm gonna go help her get the stuff out of the cab hold this
03:08no matter what you do you can count on me
03:12no matter where you go i'm standing by your side i'll be right behind
03:18no one loves you more than i do put your hand in mine
03:23i can see you part of me and you
03:29there's something special that comes shining blue
03:33i feel it in your laughter and i feel it when you cry
03:38i will be right there for you until the day i die
03:43you can count on me
03:46no matter what you do you can count on me
03:51no matter where you go you can count on me
04:03please please please baby don't cry don't cry
04:08please baby don't cry don't don't don't don't
04:12don't do that don't don't cry
04:15shh i still hear her
04:18i'll give you ten dollars if you don't cry okay
04:22all right i'll give you five hundred bucks
04:25all right all right all right all right
04:28okay two weeks in aruba
04:30and the silver place setting for 12 in the spiegel catalog
04:33that's spiegel chicago 60609
04:36now this kid wants a car she wants a pacifier joe if only i could find it
04:44shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh it's okay it's okay
04:52gee how resourceful on my part what a brilliant breakthrough in child
04:56wearing can't find a pacifier find something else to stick in a baby's mouth
05:01all right all right well come on i'll find some food come on come on you know i know could
05:04you
05:04find a pacifier maybe we should heat it up first
05:06no no would you find a pacifier please
05:09what is your problem
05:10my problem is the baby's teething
05:14come on see you're scaring the baby now that baby's a piranha look at that
05:19it's okay sweetheart you need me now
05:21oh
05:24hey isn't that nice
05:26hey you know what this is your idea okay you don't want to said to be sensitive
05:29right i didn't say to say i'll take the kid
05:31i'll take the kid is beyond sensitive joe you see here's how it works
05:35sensitive complete wuss
05:38i'll take the kid
05:42besides i got a nose about these things i got a nose and my nose tells me you're in over
05:46your head pal
05:47and my nose tells me i'm never gonna get done with my report
05:50you know what else my nose tells me what this kid ain't crying because she's hungry
05:56oh michael is right all right i'll get a diaper i'll get a cab
06:01maybe we could run her through a car wash
06:04men such babies here let a woman take over i mean the way they overreact to changing a diaper
06:11in those movies i mean get real i know it's one thing to exaggerate a moment for comic value but
06:16come on it's only a baby i mean what could be in there
06:30you okay sweetheart i'm fine just don't count on ever being your grandfather
06:39okay she is sleeping i am going back to work okay
06:57i'm just a kleenex to you aren't i
07:03joey sounds like you're catching her cold i'm fine
07:07maybe you should rest a while no no no no he he should not rest he should take care of
07:11the baby
07:11because that's what he said he was gonna do see i see this whole thing happening there you're
07:15gonna get sick you're gonna get tired i'm gonna end up taking care of the baby i'll lose my job
07:19we'll we'll all starve to death and we'll get wrapped in sheets thrown in a pit like amadeus
07:24oh yeah cry louder that's good more laughter
07:53joey maybe you could try walking around the room a little bit good idea
07:57you came into my life can you come and you go i can't help myself
08:07all right all right all right
08:29oh
08:34no
08:36try try it try it again
08:56michael she likes you i have this effect on women
09:00they just get near me and they start to giggle smile and then this little spittle dribbles down
09:07hey maybe you could do your work we're here on the desk oh yeah
09:10are we back in the movies again mr cold-hearted businessman takes one look at the little baby and
09:15suddenly he melts because she's oh look well guys her nose wiggers like a white white rabbit
09:20oh joe please look i mikey understands that sarah has to work yes he does but but mikey's very busy
09:31too mikey has a whole big proposal to do so if joey would just do what he said he would
09:37do and take
09:38care of the baby please before i adopt her yes i will hey i said i was gonna take care
09:43of her right
09:44oh come on how you're hogging the baby okay okay okay all right all right uh i'm gonna be working
09:51right here i'm working here here is my important proposal here are my papers here is me and and yet
09:56here is still you yeah if i go away she's gonna cry all right well just well stay out of
10:02my way
10:02please don't bother me and don't just don't do anything you got it
10:18see that you're doing something right there what did i just say well yeah well i we fed her right
10:23i figured she's probably got to be burped never burped the baby before
10:29i wonder how firmly you're supposed to
10:40less firmly than that i guess
10:43on my proposal she whoops on my proposal
10:48michael come on don't be a baby how bad could it be
11:04can anything be saved perhaps hey like this page here this charts the increase in sales in
11:10december and gracie has tastefully decorated it in a green peas and red beets motif
11:17i don't know i find it rather christmassy hey want some licorice and yam so you could spit out a
11:22halloween card would you like that what do you say sweetie hey michael i think you're handling this
11:29very well burn in hell
11:37oh let go to her hair that's not your hair
11:42you'll get here someday too
11:45oh oh you know who that is you know who that is it's mommy mommy's here to take you oh
11:51oh yes
11:52she is here's your baby you're gonna need a blood test to make that stick it's the judge yippee-ki
12:00-yay-ki-yo
12:02i've been downstairs researching the eviction laws of new york city but i've been repeatedly interrupted
12:08by the plaintiff cries of a lease violation judge i don't even you don't have to explain michael talk
12:17favor for a friend how long does this favor go on until tomorrow around noon what yeah she called
12:24on the phone she said that she was uh she was gonna come over and pick gracie up but she
12:28wasn't
12:28finished with the work i said finish your work she said it could take all night i said okay we'll
12:32finish it and then come over in the morning and then pick the baby up she thought that was very
12:36sensitive of me i think you stink it's one night one night yeah one night so you can score mr
12:45sensitive guy points with sarah while you dump this poor little baby on the call on the judge but
12:49i'll tell you something buddy boy i don't think they're gonna put up with that am i right
12:55apparently so
12:58hey look i'm sorry mike i'm sorry it looks like it's just gonna be you and uh
13:04oh man i don't feel so good oh no no no no no no no no
13:26you're gonna feel a lot worse in a minute why that's the baby's thermometer
13:51how much could one baby eat i mean it's not like it's gonna be in there for any length of
13:57time
13:59can i get you anything joey soup tea no no he gets nothing he gets nothing and i don't want
14:06you to be nice to him anymore either okay michael 7 30 in the morning you didn't sleep all night
14:11you're ticked fine fine fine fine fine fine fine joe i have been up with this baby all night i
14:18have a
14:18very important meeting today my eyes are so bloodshot i gotta squint to keep from bleeding to death
14:25i'm in my bed awake of course awake all night and i'm thinking how can those guys handle a baby
14:34screaming so loud i can hear her with all this cotton stuffed in my ears
14:43and then i think
14:46because i'm awake maybe i should help
14:52what can i do
14:55could you mind gracie while i get showered and nicole gets ready for school please
14:58why not i'm awake oh look oh judge i love you look it occurs to me joey here being sick
15:12who's gonna take care of gracie till mommy comes back i can do it i'm okay no no you are
15:17not going to
15:18infect this baby i gotta leave for school oh no don't you have a secretary yeah but she's a fragile
15:30type are you saying i'm not fragile
15:43taylor lord mr kelcher
15:48good morning mr steinbauer good to see you sir and of course you too mr steinbauer jr
15:54you know to simplify things why don't i just call you ed and you mr ed
15:59dad he has a pencil on his face i can see he's got a pencil on his face what i
16:05want to know is why
16:05he's got a pencil on his face taylor
16:11sir i didn't get any sleep at all last night oh cry for sympathy well put your head in my
16:16shoulder
16:16because i'm a big fat ball of sympathy now close this deal or i'll rip your heart out
16:21do you think we should hear michael's presentation now well son someday i'll be going and you'll be
16:27taking over the business so i'll defer to you this is your meeting now what do you want to do
16:46obviously i can never die
16:52i quit find yourself a new secretary
16:58i don't mind getting your lunch and i don't mind buying gifts for all those women who never return
17:04your calls but i will not raise your child
17:14most women do return my calls
17:18i'm surprised herb one thing we've learned at steinbauer textiles is that employees who have
17:24children are much less productive and single parents are the worst we don't have one single
17:28parent at steinbauer from stem to stern i'm talking the whole boat we have a boat could i have a
17:35hat
17:36this is not this is not taylor's child whose child is it i'm taking care of it for someone else
17:42a
17:42friend of a friend of an ex-friend sorry i'm late oh our in-house attorney sarah robbins this is
17:50herb
17:50kelcher and michael where's joey home sick you two know each other yeah actually uh sarah came by
18:00yesterday to drop off the uh flow chart which kept flowing all night incidentally
18:08taylor make it stop um excuse me michael as you know i don't have a baby but if i did
18:16have a baby
18:17i'll bet that baby might have a favorite blankie that just might calm her down oh and where might
18:23that blankie have been all night in the side pocket of the baby bag i'm guessing
18:39of course listen michael i can't well why don't we just begin
18:45uh as you will note on page four i've outlined many ways in which i think we can begin to
18:51cut
18:51costs well if we want to cut costs why can't we just fire people because you'll be the first to
18:56go
19:01will someone please shut up that infernal child
19:06that is not an infernal child mr steinberg sarah don't the baby's gonna be fine we're gonna
19:11just sure she's gonna be fine she just wants her mommy yes it's my baby
19:19this child belongs to you i'm afraid i wasn't completely candid with you when you hired me
19:26i knew how you felt about single parents but i also knew i needed this job and i think that
19:32i've
19:32proven that i can do it and just why do you have this deep-seated hatred for children anyway
19:42take a wild guess
19:46robbins you're fired just just wait a minute ebenezer
19:51taylor oh come on sir you haven't been trying to call this guy ebenezer
19:58go for it taylor look sir i have a child of my own at home and i and i will
20:03admit it makes life
20:04more complicated sometimes but i gotta tell you it took me exactly one night to realize how much
20:09easier i have it than sarah i mean i don't know how she does it i really don't and if
20:13you're not
20:14smart enough to realize what you have here then uh frankly i don't want to do business with you
20:20boy i hope this is gas
20:27let's get out of here i'm right behind you dad what a surprise
20:32ed wait hey we still on for tess what does that mean one o'clock
20:42i'm sorry michael i've made your last 12 hours a nightmare look at you baby look at you oh
20:52thank you very much thank you michael hey
21:00what are you gonna do now well actually i'm gonna be very busy for a while with my discrimination
21:06lawsuit against my former employer know any good babysitters well i i happen to have a daughter
21:13at home and if she's not available i have a joey at home and if he's not available i guess
21:20i am
21:27here comes the choo-choo open the tunnel
21:45well good night everybody i'm going to bed i'll probably sleep like a baby
21:51that's the stupidest expression i've ever heard
21:55good night good night good night i hope gracie turns out as well as nicole
22:00i'll tell you something you know this whole experience has really made me kind of regret
22:04missing nicole's baby years yeah well someday lucky maybe we'll have babies of our own
22:10nothing like spending time with a baby to take the edge off a person huh
22:24what the hell are you looking at
22:38what the hell are you looking at
22:54can you tell me with a baby
22:55you
Comments