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00:04you got this adult education brochure in the mail you see this very thought-provoking stuff
00:11now here's one course serenity through stress reduction which gets me thinking it's 10 a.m
00:16to 7 where the hell is my daughter hey she's gonna be here in a minute michael come on she's
00:21just out of the date she's a little bit late that's all no joe it's not just a date she
00:26goes to a movie with corey cup because that's a date because we know corey we own corey but how
00:31much do we really know about this kid zach what do you think he's more experienced i think he's
00:36turbocharged i think he wears custom leather dating gloves and nike necking shoes i think i think this
00:41kid he uses a nautilus machine to pump up his lips and at the end of the day he puckers
00:45up and he
00:45pulls the cord and his lips inflate like the size of truck tires and then he sucks her up he
00:48scoops
00:49her up in her mouth like a pterodactyl and that's it we never see our daughter again
00:53breathe into a bag michael am i the only parent around here you're the only one with an aneurysm
01:01i see so so you're not you're not worried about it in the least no not in the least least
01:09that's funny because you know these windows over here have dirt on them since like the anti-deluvian
01:14age yet those windows which are already so clear i can see the meaning of life through them
01:19you continue to clean now why no particular reason uh-huh go away go away well look at that
01:28great view of the front door you've been watching for her the whole time haven't you squeegee one
01:34please
01:44your dad's phone you didn't see those two datto lanterns sitting in the window
01:49did you enjoy the movie uh-huh i'll remember every detail of it for the rest of my life
01:55because i saw it with you very sweet i had a really nice time nicole me too zach
02:07okay she's home she's safe she's fine i told you there's nothing to worry about
02:10but you told me hey how was it work how am i saying you were well i was all right
02:27you can count on me no matter what you do you can count on me no matter where you go
02:37standing by your side i'll be right behind
03:05you can count on me no one loves you more than i do put your hand in mine
03:11what you do you can count on me no matter where you go you can count on me
03:29long goodbye how come their feet aren't moving
03:34oh wait they're moving now yeah they're coming in
03:49hi sweetheart that was the movie
03:54oh fine
03:56oh good so uh what else did you do nothing i swear
04:03hey zach what movie did you see uh the one uh the guy with the hat
04:15nicole dad it was dark
04:19look it was nice talking to you but i really must be going
04:21oh sorry again maybe just stay for dinner again
04:26nicole i'll see you in school tomorrow right
04:36just a date nothing i went on a date and now i'm back
04:41nothing
04:54nothing
05:03let me see if i can do this in my head nothing happened divided by can't remember the name of
05:08the
05:08movie multiplied by hey dad it was dark harry the screaming shelby equals uh
05:14nicole got kissed it adds up
05:18you know i've been trying to stay calm because i didn't stay calm for a first date and i didn't
05:21stay calm for a first party with boys and i told myself i'm gonna learn to stay calm calm stinks
05:28that guy that that daughter touching bag of hormones
05:33he put six of his arms around my door he put those big pumpy lips right on her face
05:43i gotta lay down
05:48i wanna punish somebody
05:51he put his hands on my face and they weren't even sweating
05:56oh what control
05:57and then he looked at me really intensely like he was gonna eat my nose or something
06:02then what then what then what then he kissed me what did you do i let him
06:12who stopped kissing first i did i think you're not supposed to think you're supposed to listen
06:19to your lips what were they telling you they were telling me breathe you're dying
06:26why breathe pass out he'll think he did something i did my best let's see your best
06:38want to see me kiss a frog come on turn him into a prince
06:43it was a really swell evening nicole like good night
06:54was that okay i've had better
06:58why is all this up to me i mean don't boys know any of this boys know nothing boys are
07:04play-doh
07:05and nothing else except sometimes they have cars now lesson one making happy noises
07:14hey i'm real comfortable with the fact that nicole is up there not getting advice from us
07:18but being influenced by shelby under whose picture in the yearbook it says boy toy
07:25she's our daughter she's not gonna be influenced by shelby and shelby's a perfectly nice girl
07:29she just happens to be a little fast for her age
07:31oh a little fast for her age hey she's a nitro burning funny car
07:35i mean shirley mulled bounties back there going
07:42hello hey cory
07:44it's 7 30 do you know where your daughter is
07:47sacked water hall
07:49what time 7 13
07:5013 minutes late well that's the last you'll see of him
07:54all right
07:56no it was all right he made it within half an hour
08:00there's a grace period
08:03when i was going out with her it was a reign of terror
08:05and now she's going out with some major action and you guys are pond pond kettle
08:12hey when you say major action there core uh what do you know about sack huh
08:15his last three dates are out on videocassette
08:23say core how would you like to stroll up and say hi to nicole and shelby
08:34you mean i can actually go in her bedroom
08:35just visiting
08:39wowzer
08:41corey maybe when you're in there maybe you hear some things maybe you tell us what you hear huh
08:47hey you think i should wear a wire
08:57zero on the frog meter
09:00did i at least get my nose out of the way that time
09:03come in
09:07hello nicole shelby
09:10corey uh can we help you
09:12just looking
09:14what are you doing here
09:17they they said
09:19well as long as you're here
09:21could we borrow your mouth for a few minutes
09:24sure just as long as i get it back for dinner
09:30nicole observe
09:31i'll take questions at the end of the presentation
09:43i'll buy you a house
09:49now would you like to try it
09:52okay
09:52yeah and then another one from you okay
10:00wait wait i i don't know about this
10:02come on come on
10:03hey
10:04see nothing's going on
10:12i know this looks bad
10:15how does this look
10:19nicole you are grounded
10:21too bad nicole
10:22hey you're grounded too
10:24i'll i'll just take this
10:28never never come out of this room
10:30i didn't do anything
10:36hey that was absolutely the right way to handle it
10:38hey there's nothing else we could have done
10:40you hungry
10:41yeah
10:42doing the right thing builds up my appetite
10:44how do you feel like making it
10:46something i could chop up
11:02what is this the home chopping network
11:06it's nothing we can't handle
11:08we're right on top of this one
11:11and that's why you're hurting food
11:14what's going on here
11:15either the parents are totally right
11:18what the letters do
11:22judge
11:22hey don't you dare come down those stairs
11:24i'm innocent i want to talk to the judge
11:27hey we are the judge nicole
11:29we are the supreme court
11:30judge they grounded me
11:32they grounded me for nothing
11:33maybe they had a good reason
11:34it's not what they thought was completely innocent
11:37innocent you were on a bed
11:39he was on a
11:40you and he were on a bed
11:42there is more to the story than that
11:44you've got my complete attention
11:47zach kissed me
11:48and it scared me a little bit
11:50but you can't tell fathers that
11:51because they go all mental on you
11:53so i talked to shelby
11:54and then cory came in
11:55and shelby kissed cory to show me how
11:58and then it was my turn
11:59and shelby pushed cory and he fell on me
12:02and that's when you guys came in
12:10get a rope
12:15shall we push them
12:16find a high tree
12:20no cory the hun grabbed me passionately
12:23and threw me on the bed
12:25you'll need a skittish coat
12:29why did you tell us
12:31who could talk to you
12:32you were snarling and throwing boys through doors
12:35one boy
12:35you grounded cory
12:38you grounded someone else's kid
12:41well he was he was in the bedroom with our daughter
12:43how'd he get in there
12:47we sent him in
12:50but wait
12:50see we
12:51help me out y'all
12:52i'm dying here
12:54you judge nicole's getting to be that age
12:58and she's starting to do those things
12:59i knew you'd understand
13:01i don't know what the hell you're talking about
13:05however
13:05at times like these
13:08a female point of view is in order
13:10chat nicole
13:11yes please
13:15am i still grounded
13:16no well not in any
13:17meaningful sense
13:19no
13:21you're sorry
13:22sorry
13:22sorry
13:27hey michael
13:27you know i don't want nicole to have to run to the judge
13:29just because she
13:30thinks that we're not sensitive to her
13:32female stuff
13:34why can't she come to us for a female point of view
13:38jo
13:40get therapy
13:50what are you looking at
13:52this adult education brochure
13:54maybe they got a course called
13:55daughter point of view
13:57hey i'm not going back to school
13:58here you go
14:00here's one
14:00female sexual awakening
14:02no no no
14:03i'm not going back to school
14:04no no no
14:05yes
14:06yes
14:07yes
14:15thank you michael
14:17i thought this was a seminar on teenage girls
14:20i thought it was adolescent sexual awakening
14:22yeah
14:22well you were way off
14:25hi
14:25joey harris
14:27single father
14:28no
14:32maybe i got the room number wrong
14:34i don't know
14:34the room is right
14:36it's right
14:36all over
14:38hi
14:39joey harris
14:41hoping to get in touch with my female side
14:46i'm so sorry we had to cut it short last time
14:49because i think we were really getting to some core elements of female sexual patterning
14:53now i know that we talked about breaking through the repressed sexual response
14:58and i know that we have some new people in the class tonight so i want to get their names
15:02find out their feelings and then we'll continue on from where we were so uh you
15:10hello i'm janet i'm 31 and i've just come out of a destructive relationship that has left me
15:16completely closed up and i want to explode sexually
15:27and uh you
15:33michael my name is michael and uh i'd like jana to explode on me
15:41no no no no no no i'm sorry that's not that's not what i meant that's not i'm sorry
15:45you misunderstood that see that see that was wrong that was i apologize that was that was a
15:49patterned response and uh i hope to break those patterns and uh through this course and and learn
15:56more about myself as a person and as an individual and and learn more about the whole
15:59female you know the whole female thing you know
16:07you i'm uh joey harris uh michael and i are single dads and we're raising a teenage girl together
16:17to get both of us together
16:19you know it's it's kind of tough because uh
16:23well we feel that she's missing the female presence you know it's hard for us to fill that role
16:29so problems come up this is fascinating because we can all trace our sexual functioning and
16:36dysfunctioning back to adolescent experiences so tell me joey what kind of problems are you having
16:42well nicole uh that's our daughter's name you know she's she's starting to date seriously you know
16:48she's in situations with boys and we you know we worry because you don't know exactly what she's doing
16:54so you react with suspicion and distrust well michael did
17:01michael do you think maybe you feel threatened by these boys that they're going to take your daughter
17:05away
17:08no no not exactly but you are worried when she goes out
17:13yeah a little bit a little bit to the point where you can't concentrate on other things
17:21don't you think your daughter's old enough to date sure yeah but i still worry can't i worry
17:26you don't trust your daughter i do then what's eating you i don't trust the guy she's going out
17:31with why i don't know yes you do why because we're all men of pigs
17:42my name's evelyn
17:48thank you michael
17:50this is fascinating i think we should stay with this because michael has had a major breakthrough
17:56but i think there is more pain he's hiding so let's all focus on michael and find out what's wrong
18:04with them michael
18:13do the pig stuff again
18:20hey were you ahead tonight
18:22thank you
18:24you never told me that story about uh you and your mother's friend at the beach house
18:28oh well you know it's very personal it's a very sensitive private revelation
18:33yeah well the women love that one
18:36i made it up
18:39i'm a pig
18:41come on you're not a pig come on i mean we're guys right i mean we're in a room full
18:45of women
18:45we acted like guys they acted like women i mean that's the natural order of things
18:48so nicole is ready to join the natural order
18:52and we got dates for the rest of our lives all in all not a bad day
18:58hey nick how was the seminar how was the seminar she wants to know how the seminar was well
19:05child of ours here's the thing
19:08see we went to the seminar so we could try to learn how to understand what it is you're going
19:12through
19:13right so we could help you through these very difficult kissing years
19:17it's not difficult
19:19yeah well they're difficult for us
19:21well the judge says this is something all young women go through
19:24we were hoping you'd be the exception
19:27you got dads nicole you got two freds no wilma two barneys no bitty
19:35i mean we're gonna see things from a dad's point of view
19:37no matter how many of these seminars we go to
19:39and and we're gonna go to them all
19:43but even though you're gonna grow up and you're gonna do stuff that we're not crazy about
19:47and we're gonna respond to this stuff not as cool as we had hoped but there's a big bonus for
19:52you
19:53ask me what what see by having us around you get all this inside information on the opposition
20:00so we can teach you anything you need to know about guys and how they handle romance
20:03yeah i can teach it from my own experiences michael could teach you from what he's read in books
20:09that uh the point is we just want you to feel that you don't need to go to anybody but
20:14us for
20:15anything that you need to know about anything i can come to you with guy questions
20:21you can come to us with guy questions and you won't get upset you can come to us with guy
20:26questions
20:29i've got one okay now i've gone out on a date with the guy and at the end of this
20:35date the guy has
20:36kissed me good night and i've decided it was kind of nice and while my father's read a seminar the
20:43guy
20:43called me and asked me for another date at the end of which i know he'll want to kiss me
20:48again you
20:49want to know if you can go out on the date with this guy see what happens the lines of
20:52communication
20:53are open there are no misunderstandings and no one gets locked in her room no i want to know at
20:58what
20:58point in the date do i sneak out and brush my teeth you're grounded this is great you ask questions
21:10we answer we're talking ideas are exchanged opinions are air everybody is happy throw her in there
21:22all right all right next question
21:31you
21:32you
21:35you
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