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00:01hey dads hey nick how you doing hey what'd you buy book for school bail and i got press on
00:08nails
00:10well there's the world in a nutshell hey i can't remember when i've been so exhausted from working
00:15yeah but it's a good exhausted huh yeah hey admit it you're proud i admit it i'm proud you didn't
00:22think we could do it right but we did that's right on time and and on the budget look at
00:28that
00:28financial update magazine the first issue is that beautiful thing we bring it to the printers next
00:32week we're on the stands and that's it pally nothing stops us now we're dead we're dead don't
00:41answer that don't no because i i just i got a premonition of disaster i got a terrible chill
00:45that's karen behind that door it is it's our lady editor boss she looked at all our wonderful work
00:49and now we've got to start all over again i'm telling you it's karen well maybe it's the angel
00:56death rothgar spoke the helmet of skildings woe has returned with the death of ash here the elder
01:04brother of yerman laugh a real page turner you got here nicole they almost happens to be classic old
01:12english literature shelby it's for geeks it was written over a thousand years ago it was written
01:18by ancient geese shelby i'm staying in advanced english because i like it there the fact that you're not there
01:24with me is something that you're just gonna have to learn to live with yeah we'll learn this boys
01:29don't like girls who are smarter than they are you're being stupid and the boys like that
01:36boys such as gary hudson quarterback who calls me and asks me out because he can talk to me
01:43he's not sure about you you read beowulf
01:50i don't want to go out with gary quarterback i don't want to go out with the kind of guys
01:54who
01:54are put off by smart women i'm gonna go out with the kind of guy who's secure with my academic
01:59stuff
02:00are you out of your mind guys like him
02:03we have to change the magazine i want to make people comfortable with the tone
02:07financial update is just too high tone we're changing the name okay to what new money it's a
02:14hotter title and i want hotter articles about hot people how they make their money how they spend it
02:18i want it hot what hot why don't we have a centerfold huh we can have we can have different
02:22presidents
02:23sprawled out naked over their particular currency
02:26no that's stupid but you're heading in the right direction i'll see you both in the office bright and
02:32early tomorrow morning
02:35face it she's right financial update is old and stodgy she wants to appeal to a hip new readership
02:42new money that's brilliant that's a genius idea you just wish it was yours no no no no no no
02:48no
02:48come on admit it will you she's smart i mean that threatens you excuse me i'm not threatened because
02:53she's smart i'm just i just i can't stand her
02:58told you
03:04you can count on me
03:07no matter what you do
03:10you can count on me
03:12no matter where you go
03:15standing by your side
03:17i'll be right behind
03:18no one loves you more than i do
03:22put your hand in mine
03:23i can see you are with me and you
03:28a little something special that comes shining through
03:34i hear it in your laughter
03:36and i feel it when you cry
03:38i will be right there for you until the day i die
03:44you can count on me
03:46no matter what you do
03:49you can count on me
03:51no matter where you go
03:54you can count on me
04:03hi dads hey sweetheart something bothering you yes what what's this it's a test for my advanced
04:14english class you're upset did you get a b f nick f failure flunko honey that that's your best
04:23subject here they put you in the advanced class i'm a total wreck i'm emotionally distraught
04:29how can someone who says emotionally distraught fail english i'm real bummed out honey i'm sure
04:36there's a makeup test no there's only this and i need you to sign it a commission slip you want
04:42to drop back into regular english well i figure i can do better there rather than staying in the
04:46advanced class and wallowing in my misery hanging out in my bumminess honey i wait wait wait wait
04:54wait i can do this one this this is a snap okay i mean you had a bad day of
04:58being wrong and outvoted
04:59so why don't you just sit back relax let me handle this all right so nick this is one test
05:05and you
05:05know what this shows me this shows me that you're just gonna have to work harder in a harder class
05:10so the answer is gonna have to be no and no very well said very well said joe and i
05:18i differ on only
05:19one small point honey you can do whatever you want to do i'll let you do with whatever you want
05:27to do
05:27look you're smart enough to get into that class you're smart enough to make your own decision about
05:30it but uh do me one favor why don't you just take a few minutes and step into the staff
05:34room and think
05:34about if this is really what you want to do all right okay hey it's my daughter
05:48hey you live for this don't you what you disagree with me just to disagree with me am i right
05:53you're wrong you gotta do something about that look at this paper tell me what you see
06:00see a lot of red x's which means she didn't do too good joe it's a multiple choice test a
06:05hundred
06:05questions the girl gets 100 questions wrong come on nobody can do that i beg to differ
06:13come on she she would have to know the right answers to go for the wrong answers every time
06:16so what does that tell you it tells me she should be in the advanced class that's right but there's
06:20something in that class that's making her uncomfortable she's not telling us what it is
06:23well then we gotta make her tell us look come on when your parents try to force you to tell
06:27them something that you didn't want to tell them what did you do clammed up yeah me too so maybe
06:33this is the time that we learn from my parents mistakes so we shouldn't force it we should just
06:37we should just let her get over whatever she's going through and then she'll decide to get back
06:41into class by herself right that's right yeah what if she doesn't decide that then uh then we
06:46stick our parents on it mike you better sit down what me just me not him you don't want you
06:52know
06:53i don't really want to hear anything unless he has to sit too joey sit say that's better
06:59joey i want to change your cover design oh really you're gonna change his whole cover he did all that
07:05work he's gonna change it okay that about it i want you to remove the cover price oh oh that's
07:11too
07:12you want to change my price no i didn't say change no she said remove well all right look i'm
07:18i'm not
07:19an artist i don't have joey's artistic perspective but i gotta tell you that to remove um to remove
07:25the price aesthetically stinks you can't you can't no look look just like this is the problem design
07:31wise design wise if you take away the price then there's this huge gaping area where there's a
07:36severe lack of price the first issue comes in the mail free it gets us established people like us
07:44they subscribe it's done all the time you'll make it work i'm gonna let the rest of the staff in
07:50on
07:50our new plans
07:59hey mikey you don't look too good babe
08:06you know we got a piece of this business i'm not letting her throw our future away i'm i'm taking
08:12this upstairs to culture i'm going to the big boss this is where i make my stand it's her or
08:17me
08:18it's her whose side you think he was going to take well it's worse than that pal he wants me
08:24to
08:24take her to dinner in an attempt to iron out our personality differences and and and develop a
08:29rapport and keep your job yeah well that was the intimated icing on a cake yeah gag what gag
08:36did you like karen she's okay for bossing you around but my idea of a dinner date she ain't
08:41i mean kilter tells me he doesn't want to talk about anything business we can't talk business karen
08:45and i we have to relate personally i have to relate to ms whiz on a personal level as if
08:49as if behind these great ideas there's a person there
08:51whoa the dinner date from hell i don't envy you
08:58dads i thought about it like you asked me to and i know the right place for me
09:03have you signed that permission slip yet
09:07no sweetheart we didn't well go ahead because i'm not that smart a girl and i belong in the regular
09:24class
09:30far side of the couch
09:41no backboard no way you have to call that no no no i made a no backboard shot you got
09:45to make a
09:46no backboard shot you got to make whatever shot i make come on hurry up
09:58ah oh that's too bad because you know i was really rooting for you
10:03so i think that gives you uh h-o-r-s and me a mere age right
10:09he's taller than me but you see i drink milk and milk is shaping my body so when i'm 19
10:20cory has some good ideas here but basically he thinks huckleberry finn is just about a boy's
10:24adventure on a raft you know i mean he made no mention to the fact that it was also an
10:28attempt
10:28to say how terrible racism is gee you missed that huh
10:33well don't tell him that why tell him you loved it tell him it's the cutest thing you ever read
10:39that's what he wants to hear but he asked for my help fine give it to him and when you
10:44grow up you'll make a lovely spinster librarian
10:50will you come on and shoot come on
10:55hey you know you've been hurrying me up this whole game
10:58yeah that's because every time i play basketball the dribbling
11:01seems to bother the occupant in the apartment below it's only a matter of time
11:07i've come to fix that terrible banging sound
11:13yeah
11:21yeah
11:40I lose more balls that way.
11:45What do you have to say for yourself,
11:46you dribbling little accessory?
11:51Hey, I'm only supposed to do my homework here.
11:54Do it.
11:57Cole, how do you like my book report?
12:02Well, I'm off to my dinner with Karen the Wise.
12:05Am I looking forward to this?
12:06No.
12:08I loved your book report, Corey.
12:10It was so cute.
12:15Thanks.
12:16Love your suit, Mr. Taylor.
12:17It gives you real powerful shoulders, mm-hmm.
12:23Thank you, Shelby.
12:26Lovely girl, that one.
12:27She's gonna make somebody a wonderful ex-wife.
12:33So, Romeo, where will we be having your last meal, huh?
12:37Well, I considered every classy restaurant in town,
12:39but then I decided on Klowickie's
12:42because I feel it makes the statement,
12:44let's never do this again.
12:48What are you reading?
12:50Huckleberry Finn.
12:51Oh, classic American literature.
12:54Keep your eyes on your own paper.
12:57It's not as challenging as Beowulf,
12:59but, uh, hey, Nick,
13:00didn't you read Huckleberry Finn last summer on your own, huh?
13:09No, that was Huckleberry Hound.
13:21Hello, Huckleberry Finn.
13:21Hello, Huckleberry Finn.
13:23I'm having dinner with my notorious editor.
13:25And to make sure that never happens again,
13:26I need your help.
13:27I want bad food, I want bad service,
13:28and if you can, spill something on us, huh?
13:30Well, I'll do what I can, Michael,
13:32but I do have other customers, you know.
13:33Hey, I'm a regular, right?
13:35Okay, okay, I got one really uncomfortable table left
13:38right in the traffic floor.
13:42Hello, Michael.
13:43Hi, Karen.
13:44Nice to see you in my spare time away from you.
13:49Ed Klowicki, Karen Martin,
13:51the editor of our magazine, am I boss?
13:54Boss?
13:54Yeah.
13:55Pleased to meet you.
13:56I noticed that you have a magazine stand.
13:58I hope that you'll put us in a prominent position
14:00and recommend us to all your customers.
14:02Boss, she doesn't miss a trick.
14:03Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:14Okay, let me start.
14:16I know that this dinner was Kelcher's idea.
14:18And by the way,
14:19it's an interesting little place that you picked out.
14:25And I agree.
14:26I think it's important for us to find some areas
14:29of personal compatibility
14:30so that we can work better together.
14:32Oh, yeah, absolutely.
14:34Absolutely.
14:35So, uh, so nuclear war, what, no?
14:41See, that's, that's a moment.
14:42That was a moment.
14:44You, you look, you look very nice.
14:47So do you.
14:51Well, now that momentum is kind of shot
14:52and we don't really have any idea what to talk about, do we?
14:55We're not supposed to talk about work.
14:56Right, I know that.
14:57So, uh, how about personal life?
14:59What kind of life?
15:00Do you have, uh, do you have pets?
15:02No.
15:03Plants?
15:04Not real ones.
15:05Boyfriends?
15:06Not real ones.
15:09Do you have, uh, appliances?
15:10Do you have shoes?
15:11Give me something to work with you.
15:12I have my work, but we're not supposed to talk about that.
15:18So, uh, got any pets?
15:21No.
15:22Uh, I wanted a dog, but we're not allowed to have him in the building,
15:25so I had to get a daughter.
15:26Oh.
15:28Nicole, beautiful girl.
15:30Let's talk about her.
15:32You don't want to hear a father go on and on about his perfect daughter.
15:36Well, if you don't want to.
15:37But I'll tell you, she's at that age where every day she's becoming more and more a woman.
15:41And, uh, being a parent, it's more of a challenge all the time.
15:43She's going through a thing now.
15:44She's, she's, she's in this advanced English class,
15:47and she doesn't really want to be in it anymore,
15:48so she, she blew a test so she'd be let out.
15:51Why would she want to be let out of the advanced class?
15:53Right.
15:54Good question.
15:55I got it narrowed down to peer pressure.
15:57But on page 12 of my Father Knows Best handbook,
16:00it says that what I know is not going to help her
16:03as much as what she can learn for herself.
16:05So I'm going to let her go back to the regular class for a couple of days
16:08until her brain gets bored and seeks out its own level.
16:11You should never have let her back in the regular class at all.
16:16I beg your pardon?
16:17Well, I, it's just not the choice that I would have made.
16:21Check!
16:22What do you say?
16:33I'm reading Beowulf for pleasure.
16:35I'm sick.
16:37Hey, if you like that book so much,
16:39how come you don't want to be in the class that teaches it, huh?
16:42I'm just not comfortable.
16:44What does that mean?
16:45That the, uh, chairs are too hard,
16:47the classroom's too cold,
16:49teacher squeaks the chalk, what?
16:52Did you ever date any of the smart girls from your school?
16:55If they dated me, they were smart.
17:01Come on.
17:03What does that have to do with your English class, huh?
17:05This has nothing to do with school.
17:07This has to do with my whole life.
17:09I don't want to grow up to be a spinster librarian.
17:15Now, who gave you that idea, huh?
17:17And why is the name Shelby dancing around in my head?
17:20This has nothing to do with Shelby.
17:22Shelby happens to be very smart in hygiene.
17:27Then what does it have to do with her?
17:30Is Karen smart?
17:32Our boss, Karen?
17:33Yeah, yeah, she's smart, yeah.
17:34Otherwise, she wouldn't be the boss.
17:36Smarter than you and Michael?
17:38No, no, no.
17:38Everybody's exactly as smart, except for me and Michael.
17:43Is that why Michael doesn't like her?
17:45Doesn't want to have dinner with her?
17:46What good is it being so smart
17:48if no one wants to have dinner with you?
17:50Maybe it's better to be a little less smart
17:52and a little bit more popular.
17:57Oh!
17:58Oh!
18:00You know, you can tell me what to do at work fine.
18:03You can even come to my house
18:04and tell me what to do at work.
18:05But don't ever, anytime, anywhere,
18:07tell me how to raise my daughter.
18:10Hey, get a life of your own, huh?
18:14I just wish that instead of shouting at each other,
18:16we could just listen to each other.
18:19What's that?
18:20What is that, niceness?
18:21Niceness now as I'm getting in the elevator?
18:23No.
18:23Hey, you don't get to have the last nice word.
18:25No, no, you don't get the last nice word.
18:27I get the last nice word.
18:28And the last nice word is,
18:30I had a wonderful time!
18:31It's more than one word.
18:33I can't hear you!
18:42Hey, Romeo, how was the dinner?
18:45I'm fired.
18:46What'd you do?
18:47Did you order wrong?
18:49No, I ordered conversation,
18:53but what I got was
18:54Dr. Karen Sigmund Freud Oprah Geraldo
18:56telling me how to raise my 14-year-old daughter
19:01who she just met,
19:02and I know for over a year.
19:06This Karen seems like a tough cookie.
19:08Well, she's tougher than a cookie.
19:10She's a cracker.
19:11She's a, what are you, wheat thin?
19:15And she's smart, huh?
19:17And you seem to have a hard time
19:19with her being smart.
19:30What?
19:32I found out why Nicole
19:33doesn't want to be in a smart class.
19:35Because of a couple of boys that she likes.
19:37See?
19:38Good work.
19:39That's, you get the parenting merit badge.
19:40See, I figured it was something like that.
19:42Boys, huh?
19:43It's always boys.
19:44It's always gonna be boys.
19:45Yeah, yeah.
19:46Yeah, and it turns out
19:47that those boys that she likes
19:48are us.
19:49Us?
19:50Yeah, it's always us, huh?
19:51It's always gonna be us.
19:52Actually, it's just you.
19:53It's me.
19:55Why me?
19:56Why is it always me?
19:57Well, I heard you talking
19:59about how Karen wasn't exactly mispopular,
20:01you know, because she was too smart.
20:05Kids listen to the darndest things, don't they?
20:08Hey, Nicole.
20:12Hi, Dad.
20:13Hi.
20:15Want to, uh, want to hear about my date with Karen?
20:17Did you have a good time?
20:19Well, it was interesting.
20:21It's what we call an interesting date.
20:23You know, Karen,
20:24Karen seems to feel that I should have forced you
20:26to stay in the advanced class.
20:28That's what she thinks,
20:29and she's pretty smart.
20:30You think so?
20:31Yeah, she's smart.
20:32She's beautiful and successful.
20:34Ick, you want to end up like that?
20:36I think I should.
20:38Why, why are you asking me?
20:40It's always me.
20:42I'm asking you because I want somebody like you
20:44to like me when I get older.
20:47Look, somebody exactly like me
20:49is already nuts about you,
20:51so what are you worried about?
20:53Why don't you like Karen?
20:55Yeah, Michael, why don't you like Karen?
20:59Yeah, Michael, you're under oath.
21:04It has nothing to do with me not liking Karen.
21:07It's not that I don't like Karen.
21:10I do like Karen.
21:12I do.
21:13Uh, a little.
21:15I like her a little.
21:16But only because she has this incredible brain.
21:19I mean, she's, she's imaginative,
21:21and, and she's resourceful.
21:23She's, she's, she's exactly the kind of person
21:25that you really want to know,
21:26unless she's your boss,
21:27in which case you want her dead.
21:29See, it's a very fine line.
21:32So what you're saying is
21:35you respect her.
21:38You see, you know, this is what's gonna happen.
21:39We put her in these smart classes,
21:41and she's gonna keep making
21:42these intelligent deductions,
21:43and she's really gonna imitate me.
21:46Hey, it's who I am.
21:47You're gonna have to learn to live with her.
21:49Okay, well, I, I got a deal for you, smarty pants.
21:53You get yourself back in the advanced class
21:55where you belong, and I'll tell you what,
21:57I will recognize Karen's right
21:59to exist as an intelligent life form.
22:02And go back out to dinner with her
22:04and tell her that.
22:05Deal is off.
22:06No, no, no, no.
22:08I'm sorry.
22:09And you can read Dick, Spot, and Jane,
22:11for all I care.
22:12Hey, Michael, I think you should listen
22:13to your daughter from the advanced class.
22:15Get on the phone, call Karen up,
22:17and give it another try.
22:22You're right.
22:23What?
22:24She's right.
22:26Oh, oh.
22:27See, that's, that's good thinking.
22:28That's good thinking.
22:29That is exactly the kind of thinking
22:31that I am attracted to.
22:32That is, that's a good idea.
22:34That's a good idea.
22:34It's a productive idea.
22:36And most important,
22:37I beat Karen to it.
22:40I hate her.
22:44I hate her.
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