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00:06How long is that woman going to wait for Joey?
00:09Forever. I've seen him in shorts.
00:14How does he get dates like that?
00:16I refer you to my earlier shorts comment.
00:22Hey, come on, Klawicki. You're an ex-jock.
00:26Doesn't that help you with women?
00:27No. Quarterbacks' faces were on TV all the time.
00:31I was a center.
00:33It's hard going up to a woman saying,
00:36Hey, baby.
00:39Remember me?
00:44Hey, Wic. Hey, Josh.
00:47There she is.
00:49Hey, Joey.
00:50There she is.
00:51Oh, look at you.
00:54Oh, you look great.
00:55Me? Look at that face. I miss that face.
01:00Aren't they cute?
01:01Did you tell Michael about us yet?
01:03No, I'm afraid to.
01:04You know, Michael, he loves you so much,
01:06I don't know what he's going to think when he finds out about you and me.
01:08Aren't they cute and dead?
01:11Hiya, boys and girls.
01:12Oh, Michael.
01:14Oh, you want to see a great view?
01:17Out this window.
01:19You could sit here.
01:20You could have a meal.
01:21You could look out the window at this great view.
01:24Let's do that.
01:26Who is that with Joey?
01:27Look, Michael.
01:28Money's falling out of that building.
01:31That's Lisa with Joey.
01:33Now, Michael,
01:34sometimes things aren't what they seem at first glance.
01:36And if it turns out they are,
01:39maybe this Lisa isn't good enough for you.
01:41Maybe this Lisa isn't worth getting upset about.
01:43Maybe this Lisa is my sister.
01:48This is me, Nicole Bradford.
01:50Here, Tom.
01:51This is my dad.
01:53And this is my dad.
01:54How'd I get to your dad?
01:55They inherited me.
01:56Congratulations.
01:57It's a girl.
01:59Here's the judge who brought us together.
02:01She lives in our building.
02:02My building.
02:02I own it.
02:03She's going to make sure we're one big happy family
02:06with one dad who's down to earth
02:07and one dad who's his head in the world.
02:10I think we're on all the years.
02:12You can kill on me.
02:15No matter what you do,
02:17you can kill on me.
02:20No matter where you go,
02:22I'm standing by your side.
02:24I'll be right behind.
02:26No one loves you more than I do.
02:29Put your hands by me.
02:32You can kill on me.
02:35No matter what you do,
02:37you can kill on me.
02:40No matter where you go,
02:42you can kill on me.
02:48Now, let me understand this.
02:49I haven't seen my sister in like two years.
02:52Suddenly, she blows into town.
02:53I don't know about it,
02:54but you do.
02:55What is wrong with this picture?
02:57It was a surprise reunion.
02:59Surprise.
03:01I planned the whole thing.
03:03I was looking through some of your old scrapbooks
03:04and I saw all this stuff on Lisa.
03:06Our family is so small.
03:08I want to know all my relatives.
03:10Yeah, but how did you know where to find her?
03:11I mean, with Lisa traveling all over the world all the time,
03:14nobody ever knows where she is.
03:16Well, Joey knew.
03:17Oh, Joey knew.
03:18Well, then let me turn my head this way
03:21and adopt a quizzical expression.
03:24Hey, Lisa writes me letters once in a while.
03:26She lets me know how she's doing, you know.
03:28No, I don't know.
03:29But then again,
03:30my lack of knowing would be in direct proportion
03:32to the lack of mail that I get
03:33featuring my sister's return address.
03:35We're not speaking, Michael, remember?
03:38Hey, I get mail from Ed McMahon.
03:39We're not speaking either.
03:41Hey, come on.
03:42Why are you two mad at each other?
03:43You're brother and sister.
03:45Sweetheart, we're not mad at each other.
03:47Brothers and sisters have very complex relationships, Nicole.
03:51Well, let me turn my head this way
03:52and adopt a quizzical expression.
03:56Hey, they had a big fight,
03:57and now they hate each other.
03:59Well, what'd they fight about?
04:00You name it.
04:01He says black, she says white.
04:03And they're two of the most competitive people in the world.
04:05Excuse me, I don't think that's true.
04:07Oh, excuse me, of course it's true.
04:08Why, because you say it is?
04:09There they go.
04:11Yeah.
04:12They've been doing that since the day they were born.
04:13Earlier?
04:14Oh, that's right, you guys are twins.
04:16Yeah, but she's the evil twin.
04:18Oh, and it was a prenatal picnic
04:19watching you gestate for nine months.
04:23Very nice.
04:24I happen to look back fondly at our first trimester
04:25because, as I remember, you didn't have a mouth.
04:29Oh, no.
04:31They're like the same person.
04:33That's what the main fight's about.
04:35What?
04:36You know, Michael and I grew up with the same interests.
04:39We had the same grades on our report cards
04:41and the same prospective bright futures.
04:43I got my MBA and Lisa...
04:45Don't start.
04:46Lisa graduated medical school.
04:48You're gonna start again, aren't you?
04:49Not just any medical school.
04:50How about Yale?
04:51How about top of her class?
04:52You're a doctor?
04:53How about that?
04:56I went to medical school.
04:58I finished.
04:59And now I do something else.
05:01No.
05:02What she does is she gets into her Jeep
05:04and she drives till she strikes jungle.
05:06Then she gets out and takes pictures
05:08of primitive tribesmen pointing at her saying,
05:10put down a camera.
05:11We need a doctor.
05:14Ah, but my brother's praise is reward enough for me.
05:18But if you went to medical school,
05:20why are you not a doctor?
05:21Ah, the torch has passed.
05:24The $64,000 tuition question
05:27has just been taken up by the next generation.
05:30Well, Lisa, you have the floor.
05:32New inquiring minds want to know.
05:35Hey, Michael, you know,
05:36people have the right to move
05:38through the phases of their lives
05:39without the encumbrance
05:40of other people's expectations.
05:43Thank you, Shirley MacLaine.
05:46You just make that up
05:47or are you channeling Kubla Khan?
05:50Thank you, Joey.
05:53Joey, once again my hero
05:56and my only support.
06:05Where are you going?
06:06Huh?
06:07You're going someplace.
06:09Where?
06:10Yeah, I was sleeping, Michael.
06:12Oh, yeah, you were sleeping.
06:14Yeah, and I was born yesterday
06:15and it's not the middle of the night
06:16and my sister's not sleeping
06:17in the next room, huh?
06:19Yeah, it must be 3 o'clock
06:20in the morning.
06:21You're sleeping, too,
06:22and you don't realize it.
06:23Lie down and be quiet.
06:26You and I are going to talk.
06:28Why?
06:28Why?
06:28Why do we have to talk?
06:30Well, can't we just go to sleep
06:32and dream of talking?
06:34Listen, I've been up
06:35for the last couple hours
06:35because there are a couple of things
06:36in my mind that have to be asked,
06:38all right?
06:40All right.
06:41All right, if they have to be.
06:43All right.
06:45What is that thing
06:46on Gorbachev's forehead?
06:47And you ever sleep with my sister?
06:49Ask him.
06:50Ask her.
06:51Well, neither of them speak to me,
06:52Joe, is the point.
06:53But one of them kisses you
06:54and writes you letters.
06:55So I figure there must be a reason
06:56for this close correspondence
06:57and I'm wondering
06:58how close it is.
07:01You're not going to like my answer.
07:04Yeah, well, nevertheless,
07:05I live for knowledge.
07:07No, I never slept
07:08with your sister.
07:12And I'm not going to like
07:13that answer?
07:14Look at this smile on my face.
07:15Come on, if it were any bigger,
07:16it would swallow my head.
07:18And we never did
07:19because we've got
07:21more of a brother-sister relationship.
07:23That's fine.
07:24That's good.
07:24At least I can sleep now.
07:26Good night.
07:27Good night.
07:35When you say
07:36brother-sister relationship,
07:37you mean fiercely competitive,
07:39fighting all the time
07:40because she throws away
07:40four years of med school
07:41to become a pygmy paparazzi?
07:45No, when I say
07:46brother and sister,
07:47I mean a closeness,
07:48a trust,
07:49you know,
07:50like friendship.
07:52I told you
07:53you weren't going to like
07:54the answer.
07:55All right, she's,
07:56she's my sister
07:57and you get along better
07:58with her than I do.
07:59How come?
08:00I don't know.
08:02I mean,
08:03I'm an artist,
08:04she's a photographer,
08:04I guess we have a,
08:06a common creative ground.
08:08I guess it's bonded us.
08:10What are you saying?
08:11I don't have anything
08:11in common with my sister,
08:12with my twin,
08:13with me?
08:14I don't have anything
08:15in common with me?
08:16I didn't say anything
08:17except for lie down
08:18and be quiet.
08:19You're not the only one
08:20who can be my sister's brother.
08:26And now that I'm a parent,
08:28I don't want my daughter
08:28to think that her aunt
08:30and her dad
08:30don't get along.
08:32So starting now,
08:33I'm going to be
08:34much closer to my sister,
08:36which leaves,
08:37which leaves only one matter
08:38unattended to.
08:40Yeah.
08:41What is that thing
08:42on Gorbachev's head?
08:46So, Taylor,
08:47how you doing
08:47on that Berenger report?
08:49Oh, you mean the one
08:50that I'll do all the work on
08:51and eventually you'll
08:51take all the credit for?
08:52That's the one.
08:54It's in great shape.
08:56Excellent work, sir.
08:57Thanks, Taylor.
08:59So, this is the estranged sister
09:01who's just flown back
09:02to the nest.
09:03Yep, that's Lisa.
09:05Well, I'm happy for you, son.
09:06You know why?
09:06Tell you why.
09:07It's important to have
09:08a close-knit family.
09:09Gives you something to do
09:10when you can't find
09:10an excuse to go to work.
09:13How true, how true.
09:14I believe it was
09:15Ozzie Nelson
09:16who said that first.
09:19Speaking of the devil,
09:20come on in.
09:20Hiya, sweetie.
09:22So, what do you think?
09:23Oh, it's beautiful.
09:24So, this is where
09:25my brother wheels and deals.
09:27Uh-huh.
09:27And what a future
09:28he has with his company.
09:29You know why?
09:30Tell you why.
09:30Because if he keeps up
09:32the good work,
09:33someday, someday,
09:34I'll let him handle
09:35the biggies,
09:36like this, uh,
09:37Berenger report
09:38I just finished.
09:40I live for that day, sir.
09:42Lisa Taller,
09:43this is my boss.
09:44Herb Kelcher,
09:44Taft Kelcher.
09:45Taft's dead.
09:46How nice.
09:47Hey, you.
09:48I remember you.
09:50Nicole, right?
09:51Hey, it's so nice
09:52to have kids
09:53down at the office.
09:54I mean,
09:54when they are not mine.
09:55Mine come down,
09:56I have to introduce
09:57them around,
09:57remember their names.
09:58That's so annoying.
10:00So, Lisa,
10:02Michael tells me
10:03you are quite
10:03the, uh,
10:04shutterbug.
10:05We were just taking
10:05pictures down in the park.
10:07She's the greatest.
10:07All kinds of pictures,
10:09you know.
10:09She sees pictures
10:10and things I thought
10:11were just stuff.
10:12I am moved.
10:13Okay, Taylor.
10:16Let's talk turkey.
10:17I have a huge client
10:19that publishes
10:20architectural magazines.
10:21He's in the market
10:22for a staff photographer.
10:24I think he'd be perfect.
10:25You know why?
10:25Tell you why.
10:26Oh, that's very fluttery,
10:27Mr. Kelsey.
10:27We are talking challenging
10:28stuff here.
10:30Furniture.
10:31Celebrity kitchens.
10:33Elvis impersonators
10:34in their digs.
10:36None of this art crap
10:37you usually shoot.
10:39Oh, that sounds
10:40very attractive,
10:41but no thanks.
10:42Well, Taylor,
10:43tried my best.
10:46Lisa, what are you doing?
10:47This is a chance
10:48to do something
10:48with your photography.
10:49You can live in New York.
10:50You got all the
10:51primitive culture you want.
10:53Yeah,
10:53and you can stay
10:54with us if you wanted.
10:55Better.
10:57Michael,
10:57I can't believe you.
10:59What?
11:00You told me
11:01I was coming down here
11:02to just see
11:03where you work.
11:05And, uh,
11:05how do you like it?
11:06This was all a plan.
11:08It's been two years,
11:10Michael,
11:10two years,
11:11and you haven't
11:12learned anything at all.
11:13What do you mean?
11:14I'm trying to do
11:14something for you.
11:16Oh, like you tried
11:17two years ago
11:17when you told me
11:18we were going to visit
11:18a sick friend
11:19in the hospital
11:20who turned out
11:20to be the medical director
11:22who offered me
11:23a residency
11:24based on an application
11:25you submitted?
11:28Are you going to hold
11:29an amazing coincidence
11:30against me
11:30for two years?
11:33I thought I was doing
11:35what was right for you.
11:36What's right for me
11:37is my own happiness.
11:39Michael,
11:40support me.
11:41Support what I want to do,
11:42not what you want me to do.
11:44Okay,
11:45makes sense.
11:46Let's not fight.
11:47Now,
11:47why?
11:47I tell you why.
11:48Brothers and sisters,
11:49I've been for you.
11:51She's right.
11:52Brothers should do
11:52what they think is best
11:53for their sisters
11:54and I did.
11:55Are you ready, Michael?
11:57I wasn't happy
11:58in med school.
11:59Medical school
12:00was so tough
12:01it made me throw up
12:01on a regular basis.
12:03But you never heard me
12:05when I told you
12:05I was miserable.
12:07I needed you
12:08to tell me
12:08it was okay to quit
12:09and you wouldn't.
12:11The only one who would
12:13was Joey.
12:15Come on,
12:16you're twins.
12:16If I had a twin sister,
12:18all I'd do
12:18is tell her
12:19how pretty she is.
12:25Joey did what?
12:26Who do you think
12:27convinced me
12:28to follow my heart
12:28and leave medicine?
12:30Whose advice
12:32do you think it was
12:33that changed my life?
12:39Joey did what?
12:40Joey did what?
12:46No, seriously.
12:48Number 51?
12:50Don't you remember?
13:01It's for you.
13:03I need advice.
13:05Of course, Michael.
13:07No, no, no, Judge.
13:08Not from you.
13:08This time I'm going
13:09to the Oracle.
13:10To the Grand Poobah
13:12of life-changing
13:13stupid advice.
13:14How can I help you,
13:15my son?
13:18Hey, come on.
13:19Wise choice.
13:21You can help me
13:22understand what
13:23possessed you
13:24to tell my sister
13:25to throw away
13:26all of her aspirations
13:27and all of her education
13:28and trade it in
13:29for the 35-millimeter
13:30camera behind
13:31door number one.
13:32Hey, Michael,
13:33you don't know
13:33the whole story.
13:34I know you
13:35should have
13:35come to me.
13:38Hey, we weren't
13:39talking, Michael.
13:40We were busy
13:41fighting over
13:41Nicole's mother,
13:42don't you remember?
13:43You were dedicating
13:44yourself to being
13:45a success.
13:46I was making
13:46some changes
13:47in my own life.
13:48Come on.
13:50I was telling
13:50my own family
13:51that I wasn't
13:52going to be joining
13:53their plumbing business,
13:54that I was going
13:54to be trying
13:55my luck
13:56at a career
13:57as an artist.
13:58And my father
13:59went nuts.
14:00He didn't want
14:00to talk to me.
14:01But there comes
14:02a time when you
14:03got to take
14:03your own life
14:04in your own hands.
14:06Otherwise,
14:06how do you call
14:07it your life?
14:07We're not talking
14:08about your life.
14:09That's right,
14:10and we're not
14:10talking about yours.
14:12So who are you
14:12to say will make
14:13somebody else happy?
14:14Who are you
14:15to make up her mind?
14:16Hey, I didn't
14:17make up her mind.
14:17I told her to
14:18follow her heart,
14:19and she did.
14:19You influenced her,
14:21Joe.
14:22At the most
14:22pressure-filled
14:23moment in her life,
14:24after four years
14:25of medical school,
14:26four years
14:26in a pressure cooker,
14:28you taught her
14:29that it was okay
14:29to pull the plug.
14:30You sang the
14:31siren song
14:32of non-commitment
14:33as she jumped.
14:34So now my sister
14:35knows everything
14:36except for how
14:37to commit.
14:38Thanks.
14:39Thanks for being there.
14:40You're welcome,
14:41Michael.
14:42And now watch this,
14:43okay?
14:44This is called
14:44Another Person's
14:46Walking Out On You.
14:58Buy a cup of coffee,
15:00Mr. Tact.
15:05All my life,
15:06I thought it was
15:07so special
15:07to have a twin sister.
15:10We fought,
15:11we competed,
15:12but it was good
15:14because it pushed us
15:14both to do better.
15:16And then Lisa quit,
15:18and I felt really bad
15:19myself because I wanted
15:20us both to succeed,
15:21and I...
15:22Even if it was just
15:23to go on competing.
15:25So now it looks like
15:26what we competed at
15:27is not talking
15:28to each other.
15:30Hey, Michael,
15:32it takes two
15:33not to have a conversation.
15:37Judge,
15:37it's too late.
15:38She's...
15:39She packed the things
15:39and I don't even
15:40know where she is.
15:40I do.
15:44I do.
16:18I see your approach
16:19finally worked,
16:20huh?
16:22I can't believe
16:24I have a date
16:25with John Elway.
16:30So I resorted
16:31to plan B.
16:34Good plan.
16:37You sure this is
16:38where they came?
16:39That's what they sent.
16:41A poetry reading?
16:43That's great.
16:43Now I can apologize
16:44to my sister
16:44and I am a pentameter.
16:47Michael,
16:47don't you know
16:48about the poetry renaissance?
16:50It's the thing
16:50of the later 80s.
16:51Oh, really?
16:52I can dig it.
16:54It's a wonderful
16:54form of expression.
16:56Ranks right up there
16:57with spin art.
16:59Hey.
17:00Hey.
17:01Hey, look at this.
17:02Hey, guys.
17:02Judge, do you believe it?
17:03Here we are.
17:04We come to our favorite
17:05poetry place
17:05and we run into
17:06these hepcats.
17:08Judge, you told him
17:09where we were.
17:10Family harmony.
17:14Puts a smile
17:15on my face.
17:17Hey, look, Lisa,
17:19I don't mean to intrude
17:20on your evening,
17:21but I think it's time
17:22one of us apologized
17:22and I've decided
17:24it's gonna be me.
17:26Now?
17:30Ladies and gentlemen,
17:32our featured artist,
17:33Nigel Lunch.
17:34Hey.
17:35Hey.
17:40Nigel Lunch.
17:41All right.
17:43You like this Nigel Lunch?
17:45You bet.
17:46He has a dark brooding quality
17:49that I find hysterical.
17:50Hysterical.
17:53Tonight I'd like to present
17:54my latest piece,
17:55Oh, Businessman.
17:57Okay, I'm nervous.
18:03Oh, Businessman,
18:05with your life all planned,
18:08why don't you put on
18:09your well-polished wingtips
18:11and hit the road?
18:14Judge, make him stop.
18:17Businessman!
18:18Oh, yuppie businessman!
18:21Where are your values?
18:24In your Swiss bank account?
18:27Or in the glove compartment
18:29of your metallic gray BMW?
18:34shows what he knows.
18:36They don't come in metallic gray.
18:38Businessman!
18:40Where are you?
18:42I want to find you!
18:44I want to hunt you down!
18:47Where do I look?
18:48Over here.
18:52Businessman!
18:53Here you are.
18:55Out dealing,
18:57out swindling,
18:59out shopping
19:00to buy your suit,
19:01your vest,
19:02and your Blue Brooks Brothers tie.
19:06You talking to me?
19:09Oh, businessman.
19:11I live to destroy you.
19:15Judge.
19:17I want to come to your house,
19:20breathe fog on your windows,
19:22and write,
19:23it's me,
19:25backwards,
19:25so you can read it.
19:28Oh, businessman!
19:30How will you sleep at night?
19:35That's healthy.
19:36That's very healthy.
19:47The Dancing Anarchist.
19:50What is this,
19:50my birthday?
19:55That was good.
20:03I liked it.
20:05Well, at least he's talking to me.
20:08Now, look,
20:09here's a guy
20:09who was moved to verse
20:11by how much he detests
20:12everything that I stand for,
20:13and yet,
20:13he and I have a better rapport
20:14than we do.
20:15Now, look,
20:16I'm not pushing,
20:16I'm just asking.
20:17If you really want to make a living
20:18taking pictures,
20:19why don't you let me help you
20:21make a living at it?
20:23Michael, please!
20:24Will you forget
20:25that I'm your brother?
20:26Just,
20:26I'm someone in a position
20:27to help you.
20:28I don't want your help.
20:29Why,
20:29because it's me?
20:30Because I'm not ready
20:30to commit to photography.
20:32Oh,
20:32so now you're going
20:33to give up the camera?
20:34Lisa,
20:35well,
20:35you can't give up your art.
20:37Yes,
20:37she can,
20:38because she wants
20:38to be a doctor.
20:39Hey,
20:39why do you keep
20:40coming back to that?
20:41Judge,
20:41make them stop.
20:42I'm young,
20:43I'm embarrassed,
20:44and I can't leave.
20:45They're my ride.
20:47No,
20:47sweetie,
20:48I don't think
20:48we should stop
20:49this show.
20:50Excuse me,
20:51are these
20:52the dancing anarchists?
20:54Yeah.
20:55Hey,
20:56I can give up
20:57whatever I want
20:57to give up.
20:58Oh,
20:58she's clean
20:58at giving up,
20:59Joe.
20:59I'm just following
21:00my heart,
21:01just like you always say.
21:02Do you detect
21:03a pattern at all?
21:03Hey,
21:04she's a good photographer.
21:05She's a great photographer.
21:06How would you know,
21:07Michael?
21:08Because you're great
21:09at anything you do.
21:10You always were.
21:11You were a great
21:11medical student,
21:12and you would have
21:13been a great doctor.
21:14All you had to do
21:14was commit.
21:16Why didn't you commit?
21:17Why do you keep
21:18coming back to that?
21:24Because he's right.
21:26Because he knows me.
21:36I wasn't sure
21:37I was going to make it.
21:41I was safe in school.
21:43I didn't have to compete
21:45with you until I got out
21:47and when I got out,
21:49you were already
21:50a success.
21:52And I still had
21:53to prove myself.
21:57Michael,
21:59what if I'm
22:00a lousy doctor?
22:03You won't be.
22:05You will be
22:05a wonderful,
22:06caring physician
22:08because that's what
22:09you were born to do.
22:11Hey,
22:12I know.
22:12I was there
22:12at the time.
22:15Michael,
22:16if I commit
22:16to being a doctor
22:17and I fail,
22:20will you still
22:20be proud of me?
22:23Nope.
22:26So you're saying
22:27I better be a success?
22:30Yeah.
22:32Can I still call you
22:34if I'm scared?
22:35Please.
22:38You're on.
22:41Hey.
22:42Come on.
22:48Hey,
22:49I'm going to have
22:50a bigger office
22:50than you.
22:51Yeah,
22:51but I'm going to have
22:52to wear great clothes
22:52and you've got to wear
22:53a white lab coat
22:54all day.
22:55Ooh.
22:57Enough anarchy.
22:59Dance.
23:00Hey, hey, hey, hey,
23:02hey, hey, hey, hey,
23:04hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
23:06hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
23:07hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
23:08hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
23:09hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
23:16hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
23:16hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
23:16hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
23:17hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
23:18hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
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