- 2 days ago
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00:02hey hey hey look at you you're happy excited and not grumbling either he sold some art or bazooka
00:08joe is particularly funny today terrible day terrible day sales were dismal i'm a wreck right
00:16just when i think things are never gonna get better bang this guy walks up to me tells me
00:19my neon sculptures a piece of garbage he hated the colors he laughed at the price he said it
00:24was trash okay i'm scared you can both stop now no daddy hated the sculpture but he loved the
00:32subject of the sculpture me so so he's a modeling agent and he thinks i should be a model modeling
00:41joe hey isn't that great so this would be for like school uniforms with high collars a lot of buttons
00:46like that yeah yeah hey everybody want to see my french bikini pose
00:55this is me nicole bradford cute huh this is my dad and this is my dad how'd i get two
01:02dads
01:02they inherited me congratulations it's a girl here's the judge who brought us together she
01:08lives in our building my building i own it she's gonna make sure we're one big happy family with
01:13one dad who's down to earth and one dad with his head in the clouds i i think we're father
01:18of the year
01:19you can't count on me no matter what you do you can't count on me
01:26no matter where you go i'm standing by your side i'll be right behind
01:33no one loves you more than i do put your hand in mine
01:38you can't count on me no matter what you do you can't count on me no matter where you go
01:49you can't count on me
01:54no no modeling it's out of the question hey will you calm down okay don't get yourself all worked
02:00up i checked the guy out already this guy's a reputable model agent oh yeah tell me something
02:04how many rings was this guy wearing how big was his hat well i checked them out okay i checked
02:09them
02:09out you know you know these uh those fake fingernail commercials this guy represents the hands and he's
02:14sending me on my first interview tomorrow i hope they think i'm pretty are you kidding me
02:18hey i don't know about this i gotta tell you you know when i was young i toyed with being
02:24a model
02:24myself really sure when you got gams like mine why hide them
02:32but i reached a time when i had to make a choice either lounge on exotic beaches and do photo
02:39sessions
02:39with gorgeous men or send scum to the big house i went for the job that was more fun
02:47hey judge want to help me put together my wardrobe for tomorrow sure hey judge i know i know very
02:55long
02:55skirts very high socks and don't forget the turtleneck
03:01you i i can't believe that you did something like this without asking me this i'm against this joke
03:07come on michael it's a little print ad oh yeah sure today it's a and p flyers and tomorrow it's
03:11the
03:12sports illustrated swimsuit issue she's gonna be in the magazine racks at 7 11. truck drivers are
03:18gonna walk up to the counter they're gonna go yeah let me have two sixes of bud and nicole bradford
03:23please gee won't i be a proud pappy you see my face huh this is my you're being ridiculous look
03:33yeah i'm being ridiculous oh well i'm sorry let me let me try and be happy my daughter's gonna be
03:38a
03:38model yippee nobody said you gotta be involved okay michael hey this is your baby all right you're in
03:45charge i am not involved where is that casting director she's been keeping our daughter waiting
03:51over an hour dad please don't embarrass me nicole i'm not here to embarrass you i'm here because high
03:57fashion is big business big business you got a lot of sharks and con men and people who want to
04:02take advantage of you hey michael it's a socket it's a polyester socket oh you know waiting's just
04:10part of the game i know because my ginger's been modeling for years and years you know the trick is
04:18to make the most of this time should you tell the nice man how you make the most of this
04:22time
04:24power meditation
04:30well thank you for sharing you know my little one's quite an accomplished girl
04:35oh is she uh-huh i'll tell him ginger
04:39three years training in classical ballet
04:43four in drama and a year of kabuki at juilliard
04:49i'm gonna read now
04:55ballet drama kabuki i'm scared and that's just the tip of the iceberg
04:59her awards plaques and trophies you could fit him in a truck
05:03speaking of which don't tell me ginger can drive the big rigs
05:09that i don't belong here i'm way out of that girl's lead
05:13uh nicole bradford
05:16yes
05:17oh honey you're not gonna wear that are you
05:26dads i can't go in there
05:28i can't go in there
05:29i'm too nervous
05:30hey sweetheart listen hey we love you and you are gonna do just great
05:34oh that's very inspiring want to step aside
05:39listen they're just trying to play hardball they're trying to psych you out don't be afraid of them
05:44when you get inside there there is nothing to fear but fear itself
05:48fear and stinky feet
05:50are you sure you want to go through with this
05:52all right well i want you to concentrate
05:54give me that nicole bradford smile
05:56yeah you get in there knock their socks off
05:58yeah you go get them honey
05:59come on
05:59thanks dads
06:03you want to play hardball
06:05fine
06:05let's just hope ginger's wearing a batting helmet
06:09looks like your little one has a bad case of the nerves
06:15no no that's just nicole's usual dilemma
06:18which foreign language should i greet them in
06:21and if chinese which dialect
06:23your daughter speaks chinese
06:25oh we're just cantonese and mandarin
06:27her szechuan's been slipping since she's been training for the olympics
06:31the olympics
06:32that's right pentathlon
06:34a lot of running she's got very strong legs
06:36strong calves strong feet
06:37great sock ad material
06:40well your daughter is lovely in a raw sort of way
06:44you know that's the tomboy in her
06:46she just got through rolling a couple kids from juilliard
06:52micole you were wonderful
06:53you were simply wonderful
06:55wonderful
06:56yes it worked
06:56i went in there
06:57i gave my best nicole bradford smile
06:59and i'm in
07:00excuse me she's got it
07:02uh she did very well
07:04how very well
07:05well we're really not supposed to say
07:08but let me just add
07:09that she did
07:11very
07:12well
07:15in fact i think she'd be perfect
07:16ginger
07:16you're sweet
07:17oh it's all right
07:18you did great i'm proud of you
07:20uh
07:21dude i don't know i don't know if you heard her
07:22she thinks nicole would be perfect
07:25which means ginger has got to be
07:27better than perfect
07:28and whoo
07:29boy just thinking about it gives me a
07:31bad case of the nerves
07:37sweetie
07:37sounds like you found yourself a career
07:40they said i had the best instep they'd seen all day
07:43i could die
07:43here you go nicole
07:45a free klawicki shake to celebrate your first job
07:48thank you mr klawicki
07:50you know nicole
07:52i don't talk about this much but uh
07:55i did a little modeling myself
07:57really
07:58yeah back in my football days
08:01remember when joe nameth pulls in pantyhose
08:04i did one of those
08:08weren't you embarrassed to be seen on tv like that
08:11no these were radio spots
08:15so you see you don't have to actually wear the pantyhose
08:20you're right
08:28hi nicole
08:29how'd it go today
08:30i got the job
08:31christy wrinkley
08:32clean out your locker
08:34great
08:35terrific
08:36your career has really taken off
08:38i couldn't be happier
08:40oh thanks
08:41i gotta call rebecca with the good news
08:43it'll kill her
08:48that's it i'm history
08:50put cory cupkis in the archives
08:55problem
08:57yes there's a problem
08:58yes there's a problem
08:59see i know what's gonna happen
09:01nicole's gonna end up as a great model and then move to hollywood
09:04i couldn't compete with those guys
09:06they're not even guys
09:09they're dudes
09:18don't worry
09:20nicole's not going anywhere and even if she did she'd keep in touch
09:24oh sure she'll have her people call my people
09:27well you know something judge
09:29i don't have people
09:34calm down honey
09:35how about if i buy you a milkshake
09:38i'm sorry judge but
09:40milkshakes hold too many painful memories
09:48we gotta talk
09:49uh-oh
09:50bad news
09:51i can read it in his eyebrows
09:54see it's like the hair over his eyes stands up and spells
09:57i am the messenger of death
10:01are your eyebrows the messenger of death joe
10:04i'm afraid so
10:07hey dad how's it going
10:09uh-oh
10:11eyebrows
10:13sit down sweetheart
10:14sit down a second
10:16i just uh
10:18i talked to the casting lady
10:19oh no
10:21let me change the ad
10:24it's gonna be just feet
10:26now they sort of want the person's face looking at the feet
10:30and my face isn't good enough to look at my feet
10:35hey hey what do they know
10:36they know faces
10:38i knew it the minute i walked in there
10:40all those girls are so beautiful
10:43how could i possibly compete
10:45no
10:53you know
10:55you really gotta do something about those eyebrows
11:05i used to think i looked okay
11:08nicole
11:09it's a sock ad
11:10what do they know about looks
11:12they deal in feet
11:13they think pretty means nothing between the toes
11:17they think i'm ugly
11:19no
11:19they think people are gonna look at my face
11:21and go buy somebody else's socks
11:22that's not it
11:23if you need me i'll be in the bell tower at notre dame
11:34well
11:35you got a little girl up there that's not feeling too good about herself
11:38boy it's tough to be 12
11:41i guess when you're that age
11:42i mean we were all pretty insecure about our looks
11:44right
11:51how about if i make coffee
11:53oh please come on
11:55well you never stood in front of a mirror
11:57and wondered if any girl would ever date you
12:00regular or decaf
12:03what are you
12:04you just sailed through adolescence right
12:06there wasn't
12:07there wasn't one moment
12:08there wasn't one isolated incident
12:10okay i got it i got it
12:11we were 14
12:12and you came in
12:13with this enormous zit on your neck
12:16that was a hickey
12:20from a chili
12:22just make the coffee all right
12:25okay you know something
12:26we gotta let her have some time
12:27i mean either she's gonna forget all about this modeling thing
12:30or she's gonna take it serious
12:31if she does
12:32she's gonna find out
12:33that it's a tough world out there
12:35and there's not too many shortcuts right
12:41smile sweetheart
12:44beautiful
12:45more blush
12:46see if you can do something with the hair
12:49isn't this great
12:50they're doing something with my hair
12:52did you hear what he said sweetheart
12:55beautiful
12:56and you were worried about your looks
12:58just think of all the other girls
13:00that you had to beat out for this part
13:02now are you talented and pretty or what
13:04thanks dad
13:05just hope i don't mess up
13:06hey what's the mess up
13:08you got one line
13:09boy that's tasty
13:11you must have said that a million times in the car
13:14i know i'm hungry
13:16but this isn't just a tv commercial
13:18this is a tv commercial with scott cameo
13:22all right okay okay
13:23i don't know
13:24just because he's a big star okay
13:26he's a regular guy
13:27he gets in his limo one leg at a time
13:29just like the rest of us
13:34better
13:35all right now
13:36nicole darling
13:37i want you to go down to wardrobe
13:39tell them i want to see you in the green skirt
13:42i'm going down to wardrobe
13:45did you see her face
13:47it's so nice to see nicole happy again
13:49great huh
13:50i mean it's amazing
13:51this thing comes right out of the blue
13:53yeah what are the odds
13:54what are the odds
13:55here's nicole down in the dumps
13:57feeling like an ugly duckling
13:58and suddenly
13:58she gets cast in a commercial
14:00for dippy cakes
14:01which is owned by perry cannon
14:03who coincidentally enough
14:04is my best client
14:06your client
14:07oops
14:08it's out of the bag now
14:11am i can you rig this
14:12i didn't rig this
14:14i saved the day
14:15i snatched victory
14:16from the jaws of defeat
14:17i helped the little girl
14:18get her self-esteem back
14:20and i will pause now
14:21for your praise
14:22hey michael what are you gonna do huh
14:24every time nicole feels a little disappointed
14:26or rejected
14:26what are you gonna do
14:27you're gonna just step in there
14:28and rig her life
14:28what that's certainly my intent
14:32look i couldn't stand it anymore
14:33i missed the smiles
14:34i missed the laughter
14:35hey dad isn't this great
14:37i missed that
14:38hey it's great sweetheart
14:39nicole
14:40i'd like you to meet the spokesman
14:41for dippy cakes
14:47scott cameo
14:48hello nicole
14:48scott
14:49it is so great to meet you
14:51you are the best actor on tv
14:53you and elf
14:57elf
14:58always elf
15:00i'd like you to meet my dad
15:02joey harris
15:02how you doing
15:03hey
15:03hey love you series
15:04thank you
15:05and my other dad
15:06michael taylor
15:07i read a lot
15:09you got two dads
15:11you know that's a great idea
15:13for a television show
15:17nah stupid premise
15:18listen
15:20wanna run over our lines
15:21alright
15:22but i'd rather run over your girlfriend
15:25okay
15:27dippy cakes take one marker
15:29excuse me zane
15:30don't you think you should give nicole
15:32a little motivation
15:34okay
15:35honey
15:37you're eating cake
15:41and action
15:42mmm
15:43boy that's tasty
15:45it sure is nicole
15:46hi i'm scott cameo
15:48and you know kids after school
15:49a glass of milk is great
15:50but
15:51you know what makes it even better
15:55is pouring it all over the table
16:00ah scott i'd like to give you just one
16:01fancy adjustment
16:03do you think i should pour the milk in the glass
16:04that would be my choice
16:06you see that's not so tough
16:19hey uh zane
16:21i was just thinking if you
16:22my thought exactly
16:23okay everybody
16:24you agree
16:25this is the one
16:27dippy cakes take two
16:29marker
16:30and
16:31action
16:32mmm
16:33boy that's tasty
16:35yeah it sure is nicole
16:36hi i'm scott cameo
16:37and you know kids
16:38after school
16:39a glass of milk is great right
16:41but
16:42you know what makes it even better
16:43is dipping in a chocolatey smooth
16:46cream filled dippy cake
16:47oops
16:52i like mine mushy
16:54third time's a charm
16:57right mr ten thousand dollars a day
17:11end marker
17:12action
17:13mmm
17:15boy that's tasty
17:16it sure is nicole
17:18hi i'm scott cameo
17:19after school
17:21a glass of milk is great
17:22but
17:23you know what makes it even better
17:24a chocolatey smooth
17:26cream filled
17:28dippy cake
17:28that's dippy cake
17:30now kids go out and tell your mom right now
17:31that scott says
17:32buy a case
17:34right now
17:36love it
17:37print it
17:38that's a wrap
17:39great nicole
17:40you can go sign out
17:41say
17:41ooh come here
17:43now you
17:44you were terrific
17:44oh thank you
17:46thank you
17:47you are so great
17:48better than alf
17:50yeah
17:52thank you
17:54hey
17:54you know
17:55in that last take
17:56she just had this like
17:56this cream ball on her nose
17:58worked for me
17:59wait a second
18:00isn't that gonna be seen
18:01by millions of people
18:02no it's just for you
18:04this wasn't the real commercial
18:06look
18:07mr cannon just told me
18:08to uh
18:09take five minutes
18:10to shoot your little girl
18:10with scott
18:11so she'd have a tape
18:11to show all her friends
18:12well didn't you like
18:13the performance
18:14yeah
18:14i thought she was real good
18:16she had this big cream ball
18:17on her nose
18:18kidding
18:19seriously
18:20this is a tough business
18:22you don't just make a phone call
18:23and get somebody
18:24a national commercial
18:25it takes years
18:26of training
18:27i've got a pro
18:28to do this spot
18:29honey
18:30you learned your line
18:32don't rush me daddy
18:38okay i screwed up joe
18:40not just a single screw up
18:42do i make
18:42but a double botch
18:43a deluxe screw up
18:44with cheese
18:46not only do i not get over
18:47the sock thing
18:48but then
18:48i don't get her into a commercial
18:50that she was never in
18:51in the first place
18:52you must be in joey heaven
18:54come on
18:55let me have it
18:56i deserve it
18:57hey michael
18:59i think nicole's very lucky
19:00to have you as a father
19:02sarcasm
19:04you
19:05dog
19:06i'm serious michael
19:07i'm serious
19:08if i had the contacts
19:09i probably would have done
19:10the same thing too
19:12so you're not mad at me
19:13for trying to rig her life
19:14i was
19:15but now i'm happy
19:16that you couldn't
19:18i mean i would have
19:18hated to think
19:19that for her whole life
19:20you were gonna be able
19:21to arrange things
19:21for her that i can't
19:23i wish it would have
19:24worked out better
19:25but i know you feel bad
19:28so why don't we just
19:28go up there
19:29and make her feel better
19:30huh
19:31and we don't need
19:32any contacts for that
19:32do we
19:34what did you do
19:35send out for insight
19:37come on
19:39look
19:39no more what's
19:41no more hunts
19:42cause there's something
19:43going on in there
19:43isn't there
19:44which is great
19:45the only thing is
19:45i screwed up
19:46and i need to be attacked
19:47not coddled by kindness
19:49by some sudden intellectual
19:50now your role
19:51is to attack me
19:52now come on
19:53and
19:54action
19:56hey the only thing
19:57that's important right now
19:58is we make our little girl
19:59feel better about herself
20:00you were really
20:01honking me off here
20:02come on
20:04and i see no reason
20:05why you should tell her
20:06that you read the commercial
20:07or that you set the whole thing up
20:09or that she never had a shot
20:11joe
20:11you stupid moron
20:15thank you
20:16hey net could you come down here
20:17a second please
20:24i think she may be worse off
20:25than we thought
20:27yes dad
20:30sweetheart
20:32sweetheart
20:36sweetheart
20:37hey come on
20:38listen
20:39i know you're feeling
20:40really down about yourself
20:41right now
20:42and for some reason
20:43you don't think you're
20:43the most beautiful girl
20:44in the world
20:44well michael and i
20:45are here to tell you
20:46that you're wrong
20:48that's very sweet
20:49but
20:50you're my dad's
20:51and it's your job
20:51to say that
20:52nicole
20:53look i got a part
20:54in the commercial
20:54but the second
20:55they saw me in person
20:56they decided to go
20:57with somebody else
20:58why
20:58because i'm just
20:59not pretty
21:00how else do you explain it
21:02because michael rigged
21:03the spot
21:04and you never had
21:04it in the first place
21:09i thought we agreed
21:09we weren't gonna say that
21:12follow me on this one
21:13will you
21:13i got no choice
21:16don't you see nick
21:17if you
21:18never had the spot
21:19then you never
21:20were rejected
21:20i mean they had
21:21somebody else
21:21for the part
21:22all along
21:23so that means
21:24that
21:25that they didn't think
21:26that you weren't pretty
21:27right
21:28exactly
21:28he's exactly right
21:30but
21:30what about the sock ad
21:32when they decided
21:32my feet are prettier
21:33than my face
21:36your turn
21:39what did the smart pill
21:40wear off
21:42huh
21:46look sweetheart
21:48look i'm your father
21:49and i know you think
21:51that makes me biased
21:51but
21:52i gotta tell you
21:53when i'm at the office
21:54or on the street
21:55or
21:56or in this house
21:57anywhere
21:57somebody says
21:58the word beautiful
21:59i'm thinking
22:00this face right here
22:03nice try
22:07hang on
22:08just a minute
22:12hey cory
22:13how are you
22:14oh fine mr harris
22:15can i speak to nicole
22:17yeah sure
22:17i wish somebody could
22:18all right
22:21nicole
22:21i don't care
22:21if you're not gonna
22:22be on that commercial
22:23you're still more beautiful
22:24than any girl i know
22:27really
22:30yeah and i'm not just saying that
22:31i uh
22:32wrote it on my notebook
22:37dad
22:37can me and cory
22:38go down to the cloickies
22:39and get a milkshake
22:41yeah
22:42yeah
22:50joe
22:50how come when he says it
22:51she buys it
22:52i don't know
22:53i'm just trying to figure out
22:54how the little guy
22:55knew to come up here
22:55exactly the right time
22:56say exactly the right thing
23:00you're welcome
23:02you're welcome
23:28i have a he
23:34again
23:35i have to be
23:53you're welcome
23:54to bring it to the mo
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