- 4 hours ago
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00:03you guys have dates tonight no nope not really not in the mood that went last month tell you
00:08something this whole dating thing overrated yeah any two people can be together but it takes one
00:13guy to be alone isn't that the truth huh i don't know what's the matter they're in a dating slump
00:18we're dead watch well see you later dads we're going skating now hold on hey not so fast dead
00:25what time are you gonna be back well the rink is open till 11. curfew's 10. but dads all the
00:30other
00:30kids hey we don't care what all the other kids do we only care what you do we're not their
00:34fathers
00:35we're your father besides what difference would it make what anybody else does anyway yeah you gotta
00:40be your own person nick think about it if one of your friends decided to climb off the empire state
00:44building right he decided to jump off with you all right then what time are you gonna be back
00:5610 o'clock be careful skate take a jacket don't get overheated and honey yes dad have a good time
01:05thanks we're way too permissive hey shouldn't she have a helmet
01:17jeez nicole your dads are like pre-menstrual yeah they don't get dating soon there's no way i'm gonna
01:23get to see that sexy french movie that i can't pronounce how are you gonna get in that's an r
01:27-rated
01:28movie please it's a sophisticated film with mature themes i've got sophistication i've got maturity
01:36i've got a friend working the box office now my only obstacle are my two dateless dads who are on
01:42me like velcro so why don't you just find them each a woman each a woman is too normal normal
01:47means they
01:48still nudge me i've got to mess with their minds how do you do that well historically when they get
01:54fighting over one woman they tend to forget my name if they get to fighting over a woman we can
01:59get a couple of friends together and go to miami hi hi going down oh no sorry i'm going up
02:07i just
02:07rented the loft on the third floor and i'm just trying to haul all my stuff up why isn't your
02:13husband
02:13hauling no husband why isn't your boyfriend hauling no boyfriend just forlonesome me yeah we're going up
02:24we'll give you a hand great thanks so you're single yep completely why any cute guys live in the
02:31building
02:31you can count on me no matter what you do you can count on me no matter where you go
02:50standing by your side
02:52i'll be right i'll be right behind
03:22no matter what you do you can count on me
03:39hi is deborah there please hi deb michael taylor yeah it has been a long time
03:46yeah listen i was wondering if you were free maybe we could get together and you got married
03:54really
03:55ain't that nice congratulations uh how about next weekend
04:03maybe dinner and a movie or something we bring them
04:09hey beautiful
04:12yo lamb chop up here
04:16ain't not you the woman
04:21believe in love at first sight
04:25hey what's that supposed to be your iq
04:30this chick's got no class
04:33yo i'm striking out very bad here you want the window
04:38now we've got to find something else to do
04:41hey dads i've got a tiny problem hey maybe not so tiny huh maybe we should talk that's what we're
04:46here for 24 hours a day friday night saturday night new year's eve
04:51well you see i met this really neat lady who i thought would make a great girlfriend for either
04:56one of you guys my only problem is i can't decide which one of you she's right for so i
05:00invited
05:01her to come by so you could decide for yourselves
05:05sort of like a blind date huh yeah
05:08and that's sweet
05:10hey look excuse us for one second okay oh i hope i did the right thing and that's sweet
05:18so you think it's gonna work of course it's a two-step process isn't that sweet means uh-oh
05:23blind date nicole set us up with a real barking pumpkin
05:27you know this woman has got to be a farm animal
05:36one of us is going to have to make the supreme sacrifice
05:39we don't want to hurt nicole's feelings right
05:41come on nicole sweetie she's a great personality she's a wildebeest
05:48tell you what tell you what we'll flip a coin for we'll flip a coin all right all right loser
05:51takes
05:52this uh wonderful person out to dinner right fair enough i'll get it call it near heads
06:00hi nicole hi shelby hi liz dads this is liz shaper hi the lady i was telling you about who
06:08won
06:10it's a tie hey when i was 14 you know i had a crush on my english teacher but she
06:16flunked me so i
06:17said hey heck with this language nicole said y'all had a great sense of humor well michael's really
06:25the one with the sense of humor yeah all right i guess yeah sort of his way of getting attention
06:29you
06:29know that's very funny remind me later to kill you in your sleep
06:35okay i've got to get going i've got so much unpacking to do hey listen you need any help
06:40you let us know right oh okay i'll just bang on the pipes i'll see you guys later so long
06:45neighbor
06:45oh bye nicole bye shelby bye liz bye bye we got him it's movie night for me
06:54so dads do you think either one of you might want to date liz
07:00no not me i don't joey might i'm not gonna nope not me either nice girl but no way
07:06what why not because nicole you didn't tell us that she's a neighbor it's not a smart idea to date
07:11neighbors yeah absolutely it's like you're living together already and then you break up with her
07:14she's still there which defeats the whole purpose really
07:20so what are you doing tonight what time you gonna be back
07:24i don't understand it i set this whole thing up perfectly this always works on i love lucy
07:29it's never a smart idea to date a neighbor they have rules now why is it bad that she lives
07:34in the
07:34same building oh hell customers
07:41judge why are you dressed like that i'm holding down the fort while klawicki's not feeling well
07:46so what'll it be and may i particularly recommend the hamburgers i'd like the zesty barbecued chicken
07:53sandwich may i particularly recommend the hamburgers how about spaghetti
08:07hamburgers coming right up
08:12so nicole what are you gonna do find another girl for your dad's oh i found the right girl didn't
08:17you see my dad's when liz walked in all i have to do is just get them back together again
08:22but if they
08:23won't date a neighbor what are you gonna do how are you gonna get to see the movie it'll come
08:27to me
08:29oh hi girls um judge there's something wrong with the plumbing in my loft i don't have any water
08:34i can't cook i can't use my sink what am i the landlord oh yeah tell you what i'll do
08:41i'll get
08:41your plumber probably take a couple of days how am i supposed to get by with that water for a
08:46couple
08:46of days how am i gonna take a shower how am i gonna fill up my water bed it just
08:53came to me
09:04listen before i even walk through this door i want to make sure that this is okay with you guys
09:09sure it's fine absolutely great what well if i stay here tonight oh great thanks
09:23why nicole you didn't tell your dad
09:28i'm really embarrassed um see my water's out in my apartment and uh i told nicole i would be fine
09:35but she was real nice and insisted that i stay here but i don't want to be a bother
09:39oh no don't be silly yeah hey we got all this extra water
09:45really it's okay if i just stay on your couch well the couch might be a little awkward because you
09:49know
09:49joey sleeps right over there no i don't mind
09:53you take my room oh yeah where are you gonna sleep what do you mean
10:00i'll take the couch knucklehead i'll just stay here are you sure this is no imposition
10:04hey come on what are neighbors for really thank you oh no no really that's okay it's not oh dang
10:11there goes another pair of my pantyhose dang
10:18good night dads i'll be back when i want to
10:22dang
10:27so you and this jeffrey were an item for a long time huh
10:30yeah we were together for about three years and then he wanted us to move back to texas to be
10:36near
10:36his parents what about your career well jeffrey's very old-fashioned and he felt that i should just
10:43quit i guess if i really loved him i probably would have gone with him boy that's tough huh
10:51what'd you tell him well you know at first i actually considered going with him because i
10:56really did love him but then i thought you know wait a minute what about my life i mean just
11:02because
11:02you love someone you can't be expected to just give up your own life
11:08excuse me i know i'm throwing out my garbage on you guys hey it's not garbage it's important
11:14stuff hey lean on us babe
11:20no it's just that i know this sounds real corny but i feel safe around you guys you know you're
11:27like
11:27like you're my friends hey not just another cup of slobbering jerks on the make
11:35i hate guys like that
11:39excuse me i'm gonna go get myself together
11:45thank you thank you thank you so much
11:55wow don't you just want to scoop her up in your arms i mean she's so she's so vulnerable
11:59she's in so much pain your heart just has to go out to her
12:08she's hot for me
12:11back off all right i happen to care about this woman hey i happen to care about this woman long
12:15term long term for you what does that include a beverage
12:19hey what happened to our rule we had a rule no we don't date neighbors i love it well i
12:24want to
12:24marry her and i want to have the rest of my children hey look my hey hey forget about the
12:28whole thing
12:28okay because this is a waste of everybody's time because if you look at this maturely and sensibly i
12:33could beat you up fine all right is that is that the way you want this to be okay come
12:39on
12:41get out of here come on phyllis all right phyllis come on go
12:49you know what fellas i'm not gonna sit around here and mope about my problems let's the three of us
12:53go out and have some fun love to great idea
13:10how long can two people kiss when they must have some auxiliary oxygen supply somewhere
13:16i tell you hey joe speaking of auxiliary oxygen supply why don't you blow
13:25you know what i just love one of them jumbo hot dogs they got cooking under that 60 watt bulb
13:30out there
13:32hey mikey why don't you go out and get one of those for this hey hey while you're out there
13:36will you stay out there will you stay out there what passion this is what i love about movies like
13:45this
13:45gets you fantasizing about love
14:03michael you're quite right liz was meant for you i'd be a fool to stand in your way
14:08i'll be joining the french foreign legion leaving you and liz to your happiness while i can track
14:12malaria and die well that's awfully sporting of you old man oh pish
14:18i want to say three days of madness i want to say three days of madness and
14:48oh joey i ache for you
14:55hey hey hey hey just a second
15:03joe joe joe
15:43hey wait a minute this isn't bambi
15:54now what crime have i committed exactly okay i told you i was going to shelby's to study and i
16:00didn't but let's not think of this as an act of disobedience let's call it cutting the apron strings
16:06spreading my wings as i enter adulthood i'm sorry i'm sorry don't kill me i'm just a kid
16:16oh hi judd what's the matter sweetie i went to an r-rated movie and my dad's caught me there
16:22with
16:22corey and zach oh where are your dads now they said they were going to go and fix liz's plumbing
16:27and
16:27then they were going to come back and fix me i'm going crazy waiting oh they'll be back very soon
16:33joey
16:33comes from a family of plumbers my father's a plumber i can fix it my father's a plumber i can
16:39fix it
16:40okay pipe so rusty okay that's why he blew up all over us come on i'm trying to be a
16:43good neighbor
16:44no you're not you were trying to win a heart by fixing the toilet so don't give me a good
16:48neighbor
16:48bit all right i look like an idiot
16:52your pants are in the dryer they'll be out in a minute hey liz i'm really sorry about this whole
16:56thing oh stop you were very sweet to try my hero and it works you guys take a break i'll
17:05clean up all
17:06this later can i get you anything yeah some dignity would be nice oh come on you shouldn't be embarrassed
17:13just because your knees are showing we're all friends here there's no reason for you to feel
17:17uncomfortable liz it's jeffrey oh my god jeffrey what your ex-boyfriend yes my very large somewhat
17:26hot-tempered ex-boyfriend just a minute i'm coming listen i'm all gonna understand what's going on
17:32here could you two mind terribly closet yes please thank you are you kidding come on what this actually
17:39happens to real people fine fine i'm hiding in a woman's closet in my underwear and a psycho jeffrey
17:50boyfriend's outside there's there's no air in here there's no light the walls are closing in and i'm
17:54gonna talk first time huh you've done this before the best are the walk-in closets a lot of them
18:07to
18:08stretch out in case the boyfriend decides to stay the weekend yeah the worst worst is trying to fit
18:15in one of those spaces where you fold up your ironing board it's real tight but it can be done
18:21don't get
18:21me wrong it's a lot better than hanging out the window i've been there
18:30what is this ask mr closet i didn't want to hide in the closet you ever thinking that maybe maybe
18:37if
18:37i had a choice i i wanted to hide under the bed think michael think you could get really hurt
18:43there
18:45what's the size look look in here we get to learn all about liz right yeah hey look at this
18:52hey hey hey
18:53look at this look please there's a jogger these are her little running shoes
18:58i guess these must be your boyfriend's huh look at the size of these shoes
19:08it must be like nine feet tall
19:20what the hell is that
19:24liz's boyfriend's a winnebago oh we're gonna die we're gonna die we're gonna die we're gonna die
19:32he's leaving we're gonna live we're gonna live jeffrey it was good to see you good to see you too
19:39sugar oh shoot almost forgot while i'm here i want to pick up my boots
20:01hey let me tell you that was pretty quick thinking for a first time closet guy
20:05i had big jeffrey eating out of the palm of my hand when i stopped crying
20:10i can't believe you brought that line here is about us being professional closet designers and we're
20:14measuring for what oh the adjustable width uh modular garment containment units
20:21because he's dumber than soup
20:27okay i know i went to an r-rated movie i didn't ask your permission i didn't tell you where
20:32i was
20:32going i just went and i've been standing around here for the past two and a half hours knowing i
20:37was
20:37wrong and knowing you were gonna punish me when you got back and you're right to punish me and
20:41however you punish me is fair go ahead well sounds like you did a lot of thinking about what you
20:48did
20:48wrong and we'll take that into consideration before we decide what the punishment is yeah you will well
20:54then you should also consider that i know i was wrong to introduce it to liz just so you'd get
20:58off my back
20:59because it's no good to use and manipulate everybody
21:08okay well we'll take that into consideration too i'm an idiot
21:15what a scam makes me kind of proud
21:22you know there's one more thing to consider joe oh yeah what's that well when big jeff gets his
21:26boots and rides off into the sunset liz is my woman and you are out of here oh yeah hey
21:31hey what if i
21:32happen to really care for this woman huh what if i happen to really love this woman all right for
21:38liz for
21:45hello hello liz hey now okay uh yeah okay what was that what was that it was liz she's coming
21:58down here
21:58right now cheers yeah you know why because she's coming down for me
22:12she's coming down for me because she is my woman and you are out of here my little friend i'm
22:16out of
22:17here you are liz i know it's sudden i know it's crazy but i feel it i love you liz
22:21hi jeffrey
22:35she's coming down for me
22:36she's coming down for me
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