- 2 days ago
Watch The Office Season 9 Episode 17 online in HD on Dailymotion (2025).
Category
🐳
AnimalsTranscript
00:00Hold it!
00:05New glasses.
00:12Dwight, what a ridiculous fancy clown you are.
00:15I am dressed according to the shrewd codes of mourning.
00:19My Aunt Shirley has died.
00:21Oh, Dwight, I'm so sorry.
00:23Were you guys close?
00:25I would say that she raised me, but let's not kid each other.
00:27I raised myself.
00:28She was, however, the closest thing I had to a mother.
00:31My actual mother was very cold and distant.
00:34I'd say she was the closest thing I had to an aunt.
00:37My condolences.
00:38Keep them.
00:39Okay. Now what do we got in these two pails?
00:41In keeping with shrewd custom, I will either invite you to Saturday's funeral
00:45by sprinkling red, fertile dirt in your face,
00:49or I will ask you to keep a respectful distance during my time of grief
00:52with a dusting of black, slightly acidic soil.
01:00What color is it?
01:02It looks pretty black.
01:12Yep. Acidic, all right.
01:16Oh, thank God.
01:18Excuse me?
01:19I'm so sorry, Dwight.
01:21And if you want me to be there, of course I will go.
01:24Let's just have a personal training session.
01:27Okay, that's doc.
01:31I get red dirt.
01:32Nobody is getting red dirt.
01:34I should have kept my mouth shut.
01:36We're not even that close.
01:37I've only known Dwight 12 years.
01:3912 years.
01:42Time is a son of a bitch.
01:48I'm sure...
01:49I'm sure she's in a better place.
01:51I really hope so.
01:57Okay.
01:58Now this is crazy.
01:59You can't make a dirt ball...
02:02I miss her so much.
02:03Okay.
02:03You know?
02:28You know?
02:31Ah!
02:31There's a bright golden haze on the meadow.
02:36A bright golden haze on the meadow.
02:42Zeke's here.
02:44Zeke!
02:46Hey Dwight.
02:47Mother's mom says hi.
02:49Hi to mom.
02:52You going?
02:53Will there be ghosts there?
02:56Get in the sidecar.
02:59Get in the sidecar.
03:00Get in the sidecar.
03:00Get in the sidecar.
03:00You get in the sidecar.
03:01Get.
03:08What are you doing here?
03:10You invited me.
03:11You threw the red dirt in my face.
03:13Oh, yeah.
03:16Who is that?
03:17Jeb.
03:18My brother.
03:19You have a brother.
03:20Do you agree?
03:21I didn't really see a better parking spot.
03:23Oh!
03:25Look what I did.
03:28That's a rental.
03:36You want to go in?
03:37No, you do.
03:38You want to go in?
03:39I'll put you in there.
03:41Here we go.
03:42Oh!
03:43Oh!
03:43Oh!
03:44Oh!
03:44Oh!
03:44Oh, gosh.
03:48Hey, Moonface.
03:50Nice to see those shiny little Chinese eyes...
03:53of yours.
03:54Who's this guy?
03:56Bad.
03:57Hi, all.
03:58Why are you here, Todd?
03:59Okay.
04:00Let's get right to it, I guess.
04:02My name is Todd Packer, and I am in recovery.
04:05I'm working the steps.
04:07I'm on Step 8 of Alcoholics Anonymous, Step 9 of Narcotics Anonymous.
04:12I'm here to make amends.
04:14I've been hard to deal with over the past years.
04:17I'm kind of a jerk.
04:18I know it.
04:19I don't need you to accept my apology, but I'd love it if you did.
04:24Packer, we accept.
04:27Wait!
04:27No, no, no!
04:28Actually, they have a specific way I need to do this, and I have to go through examples
04:32of stuff.
04:33Okay.
04:34Uh, where to begin?
04:35Hey.
04:36Pam Pam and her Pam Pams.
04:39Wow.
04:39I have said some crude things about those.
04:43But they are beautiful.
04:45And I guess that's why I acted out.
04:49Pam, I'm sorry I objectified you.
04:52And personified your breasts.
04:56Sorry, guys.
04:58Oh, boy.
05:00I have not been nice to you.
05:05Philly, I'm sorry for the things I said about your size.
05:08To your face, behind your back, and in the form of drawings.
05:13Actually, that goes to all you XXLs.
05:15Stanley, Kevin, this kid in a few years.
05:20Todd, you're just saying insults in the form of an apology.
05:25Why can't I just be nice?
05:27Truth is, I really like you guys.
05:30I really do.
05:31Okay, the apology's just half of it.
05:35The big thing is making amends.
05:37And that's why I brought these.
05:39I went out to the Steamtown Mall, and I got you all cupcakes from that place, Nipples.
05:44I think it's called Nibbles.
05:46Ha!
05:47The mind sees what it wants to, huh?
05:49Hm?
05:50Oh, there you go.
05:57Hey, hey, guys.
05:59Wait.
06:00Before we accept these cupcakes, I think we need to have a conversation privately in the conference room.
06:06Don't eat the cupcake.
06:09We are here today to join this woman on the ground.
06:16Man is born of woman, and his life is full of turmoil.
06:20Thank you.
06:24That's crap soil.
06:26Nothing's gonna grow here.
06:27Doesn't matter.
06:28It's a cemetery.
06:29Yeah, well, I'm saying it's garbage soil, that's all.
06:31No, the only thing we're planting here is dead bodies.
06:33That's fine, because they're not gonna grow.
06:36Well, I thank God they're not, because we don't want to make zombies.
06:39Good.
06:40I agree.
06:40Don't worry about it.
06:41You won't get any.
06:42Would the family care to say something?
06:49You had black hair and then gray hair.
06:54You were the aunt to my cousins.
06:56Most of your life, you were five foot four.
06:59At the end, you were five foot one.
07:06They were descriptive people.
07:10I see you started without me.
07:12You were late.
07:13So?
07:14What am I supposed to do?
07:15Hi, Fanny.
07:15Hey.
07:16Who is that?
07:18Dwight's sister.
07:19Dwight has a sister?
07:20Yeah.
07:22She's beautiful.
07:23Blech.
07:25Hello, little man.
07:26Haven't seen you in a few years.
07:29What?
07:30What is this?
07:31Oh, God.
07:32Just...
07:33Where do you...
07:36Henry?
07:37Dwight.
07:38I see Esther's back in town.
07:41Hi, Dwight.
07:42Hi, Esther.
07:43Nice of you to come today.
07:45This was on the way.
07:47We're going into town after.
07:49I need yarn.
07:50Well, if you can snap two chicken necks with a single motion,
07:54why use two motions to slaughter those chickens?
07:58We're at a funeral.
08:00There's a funeral going on here.
08:01Okay.
08:02Okay.
08:02Anyone mention her height?
08:04Yep.
08:05Land size?
08:09Shirley, at 1,600 acres, you have the largest farm in the area.
08:13Sharing borders with six other farms.
08:16Including my own farm.
08:18And your nephew Dwight's.
08:23So...
08:23Let's get it going.
08:26Would you want to do the honors?
08:28Oh, right.
08:29Uh...
08:29You know what?
08:30I don't...
08:30I don't think we have to do this.
08:32We shroots don't need some Harvard doctor to tell us who's alive and who's dead.
08:36But there was an unlucky streak of burying some heavy sleepers,
08:40and when grave robbers discovered some scratch marks on the inside of some of the coffins,
08:45we decided to make sure that our dead were completely dead.
08:49Out of kindness.
08:58That's it for me.
09:01I don't think we should eat Packers' cupcakes.
09:03We can't give them the satisfaction.
09:05I agree.
09:06Even though that place has a way of making those cupcakes so they're dense, but they're also really fluffy.
09:10We can't let him buy our forgiveness with cupcakes.
09:13He was awful to us, and he still is.
09:17How much is a cupcake?
09:18250?
09:19Is that the price of our dignity?
09:20375 a cupcake, actually.
09:22367 if you buy a dozen.
09:24I never forget a number.
09:26Names, in one ear and off the other.
09:28Places, nope.
09:29Faces, that's rich.
09:31But numbers, I have a gift.
09:35I guess that's why I'm an accountant.
09:38What else?
09:39Hey, man.
09:40I don't think we've met.
09:41I'm Clark.
09:41Oh, Todd.
09:43Oh, sorry for calling you a fat little runt earlier.
09:47You didn't actually say that.
09:49No?
09:50No.
09:51Wow.
09:52I'm in this mode now where I'm apologizing for thoughts that are in my head.
09:58Hey, I have a crazy feeling that you are really gonna like this.
10:04Maybe we should eat the cupcakes.
10:06Haven't we done enough to Packer?
10:07I mean, we sent him down to Florida on a prank and you did fire him.
10:11I did.
10:12I did, yes.
10:13And it was purely political.
10:14He did nothing wrong.
10:15Would any of you be saying any of this if the cupcakes were from Supermart?
10:18Do they even have a bakery anymore?
10:20They do.
10:20It's awful.
10:21And it's getting worse every day.
10:23So it really is just about the cupcakes.
10:26Wow.
10:27You're right.
10:28It is just about the cupcakes.
10:30So we're all agreed no one touches those cupcakes?
10:35Okay.
10:36Okay.
10:37Packer can go to hell.
10:40Thank you for coming to my funeral.
10:44As I gaze at life's big sunset, I can't help but wonder where it all went wrong.
10:50You've all disappointed me greatly.
10:53Fanny, a single mama in the city.
10:56Thank you.
10:57Jeb, a street pusher.
10:59After I left the army, I bought a nine acre worm farm from a Californian.
11:06Turns out, worm means something else out there.
11:11And I am now in the business of pain management or the smoking of pain management.
11:22I can't stand the fact that Jeb is a pot farmer.
11:24He could a peanut-grape hybrid.
11:27One plant, one sandwich.
11:30We can't just sit by and watch our family farm disappear.
11:35So here are my terms.
11:37Dwight, Fanny, Jeb.
11:39If you come back home, I will leave you my farm.
11:44So there you have it.
11:46Is she crazy?
11:47Dwight.
11:48Dwight, buddy.
11:49No, no, no.
11:50Snap out of it.
11:51Dwight.
11:54Let's do this.
11:55Let's run at Shirley's farm.
11:57I'm in.
11:57Boom.
11:58No, no, no.
11:59I'm not moving back here.
11:59Are you crazy?
12:00Of course you are.
12:01Look, I don't want to be mean or, like, insulting.
12:03I know that you like it here.
12:04But, Dwight, it's just that farm life lacks a certain sort of sophistication.
12:10Oh, my God.
12:10That Cammie and I are drawn to.
12:12And, I don't know, the men are just...
12:16It's almost like there's a willing ignorance.
12:19Yes, I...
12:21Thank you for asking me.
12:22I actually have written a little bit of poetry.
12:25That's crazy.
12:25Yep, I do.
12:26Here it is.
12:27From the, um, HartfordWomensLitQuarterly.com.
12:32A Willing Ignorance by Fanny Schrute.
12:37Totally.
12:38Yep.
12:39The people here are like...
12:41Like a fart.
12:43You know what I'm saying?
12:45Let's take a couple of nights and stay here and think about Aunt Shirley's offer.
12:50A couple of nights couldn't hurt.
12:51Oh, somehow I think a couple of nights could hurt.
12:53You will say yes on one.
12:54Five, four, three, two.
12:56Get ready to say yes.
12:57One.
12:58Yes.
12:59Absolutely.
13:01Growing up with Dwight and Mose was not easy.
13:05Uh, Dwight was obviously the cool one.
13:07and Mose was the visionary, which left me to be the comedian.
13:13That doesn't work on me.
13:14Okay.
13:15By the way, that's not...
13:16Quatre, trois, deux, un.
13:19Oui, un, un.
13:20Oui, un.
13:21Oui, un.
13:21Very clever.
13:22Okay.
13:22Oui, mais oui.
13:23Oui, oui, oui.
13:25Oui.
13:26Oh my goodness.
13:27When we arrive, sons and daughters, we'll make our homes.
13:34On the water, we'll build our...
13:36People underestimate the power of nostalgia.
13:40If baseball can use it to get people to care about that worthless sport,
13:43then I can use it to get my siblings to care about the farm.
13:47Nostalgia is truly one of the great human weaknesses.
13:50Second only to the neck.
13:52When we arrive, sons and daughters,
13:56we'll make our homes on the water.
14:00We'll build our walls, aluminum.
14:02We'll fill our mouths with cinema now.
14:16So I forgot about this old custom.
14:18If a man is interested in courting a woman, he may throw the beaks of a crow at her.
14:24And then if she's interested in accepting the courtship, she has to destroy the beaks.
14:36When we arrive, sons and daughters, we'll make our homes off the water.
14:44We'll build our walls, aluminum.
14:47We'll fill our mouths with cinema now.
14:51Hey, I just want to say I'm sorry for screwing you.
14:55I'm not sorry about it.
14:57I am.
14:58It was my rock bottom.
15:05Kevin, you can do this.
15:07You don't know that.
15:08Kevin?
15:09Um, let's think of something to distract us.
15:11Like the movie Skyfall.
15:13You loved the movie Skyfall, right?
15:15Mm-hmm.
15:16James Bond was a spy.
15:18Yes, he was a good spy.
15:19Yeah, he was the best.
15:22James Bond would love this cupcake.
15:25Hey, you know what?
15:25It was, uh, great to see you all again.
15:30Take care.
15:34I am going through a 12-step program.
15:37I'm currently on step zero, which is have a load of fun.
15:42I spent six hours carefully removing the frosting and then layering in a variety of drugs,
15:50some legal, some not, some laxative, some constipating.
15:55You don't fire the Pac-Man and expect to get away with it.
16:01Guys, I'm proud of us.
16:04I think we did the right thing.
16:05Hey!
16:07What, Pam?
16:08Wait!
16:09He's gone.
16:10It's just a cupcake now.
16:11No, no.
16:12It's the principle of the thing.
16:13Oh, my God.
16:16I forgive him so much.
16:20Whoa, is he choking?
16:21Kevin?
16:35Oh, that was fantastic.
16:44Is it dangerous to take the eggs in front of them?
16:46Yes, very.
16:47You really need to stand back because these are killer chickens.
16:49I was just asking you something I didn't know.
16:53Which is fine.
16:53And you learned something, but it was kind of a stupid question,
16:56so you're going to get made fun of a little bit.
17:04Are we going to eat these today?
17:07If you want.
17:12Is that a guillotine?
17:14This?
17:15No.
17:16That'd be cool, though.
17:17It's for milking.
17:21That's a cow?
17:24Did you just ask me if this was a cow?
17:28What are you doing now?
17:31Come here.
17:33Come on.
17:36Grab a teat with each hand.
17:38Sit down.
17:41There you go.
17:42Squeeze from top to bottom.
17:44Really pull.
17:45Use some muscle.
17:46Draw the milk out.
17:47All right, going all right?
17:49I don't know.
17:51Well, is the udder hot?
17:53Is the milk clumpy?
17:55I don't know any of that.
17:56Okay, you suck at this.
17:57Give me those teats.
18:02Didn't your father teach you anything?
18:04We never met him.
18:08Good morning, Aaron.
18:10Hey.
18:15Hey, everybody.
18:17Um, I decided to eat my cupcake.
18:20I thought about it last night.
18:21I talked to Jim, I talked to my sister,
18:23and I think that as long as Todd Packer doesn't know, it's okay.
18:27I don't care what you do, Pam.
18:29Just please stop making noise.
18:31Phyllis?
18:32Packer laced the cupcakes.
18:33No!
18:34Did you get diarrhea or were you stoned?
18:36Some of us got both.
18:38Oh, my God.
18:39Is everyone okay?
18:40Last night, I got out all of my old dolls and played with them on the living room floor.
18:44Then I ordered ten American girl outfits online.
18:48It was thousands of dollars.
18:51You'll count yourself lucky for this.
18:53I got the toilet.
18:55Me too.
18:56I went Christmas caroling in March.
18:59And I fertilized some bushes along the way.
19:01So not my best night.
19:03But not my worst night.
19:06What did you do, Andy?
19:11Last night.
19:12Oh, God.
19:13Um, I don't know.
19:15Nothing.
19:16Really.
19:17Kevin?
19:18Why would you ask me?
19:19I'm not...
19:20I'm not...
19:20I just...
19:21I don't know.
19:23No.
19:24Gosh, I actually...
19:26It is hard to recall.
19:29Um...
19:30Pretty normal night.
19:32My night was just like that.
19:36Yep.
19:37Okay.
19:37I...
19:38Meaning normal.
19:41Yeah, I didn't see you last night at all.
19:44Nope.
19:44I did not see you either.
19:50Wow.
19:51He is officially the worst human being.
19:56But...
19:57Kevin, that's...
19:58Yeah, no.
19:58I understand, Pam.
20:00I understand.
20:03No.
20:04Oh.
20:04So that's it.
20:05I just wanted to make amends.
20:12That's big of you, man.
20:14Takes a lot of courage.
20:15Ooh.
20:16Red velvet.
20:17But...
20:17I should apologize too.
20:19It's okay.
20:21I'm over it.
20:39Oof.
20:40This is no nine acre worm farm.
20:44This is a beast.
20:46Whoever is managing this thing is gonna have a hell of a job.
20:50Not it.
20:51Not it.
20:53It.
20:58If your kid doesn't put in some farm time, he's gonna stay like that.
21:02Alright, bye.
21:15I'll see you next time.
21:17Let's go.
21:32All right.
21:33I'm going home.
21:33You're on the right time.
21:34All right.
21:36Bye.
21:39Bye.
21:41Bye.
Comments