- 2 days ago
Watch The Office Season 9 Episode 8 online in HD on Dailymotion (2025).
Category
🐳
AnimalsTranscript
00:27Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:40Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
01:00Thank you.
01:01No. Thank you, Angela.
01:03She doesn't know.
01:05I shouldn't be surprised.
01:07This is a woman who married a man who's obviously a homosexual.
01:10Basically, she has her head in the sand.
01:13In a way, I feel sorry for her.
01:16I guess the universe rewards true love.
01:30Well, well, well. It's finally happened.
01:32Pam has ceased caring.
01:36These are my painting clothes.
01:38I think I'm going to do it.
01:39I am really going to start painting the warehouse mural today.
01:42Sure you don't want to put another coat of primer on that, Pam?
01:45Queen of the primer, that one.
01:46You got this, Beasley.
01:48Actually, do you want me to come down and help you get started?
01:51Are you avoiding your phone call?
01:53What?
01:53Yeah, right. As if.
01:56Today, I will be asking David Wallace if I can start working part-time
01:59because the sports marketing company that I started really needs me to be there.
02:03Last week, Jim wasn't there, and they named the company Athlead.
02:08I could have prevented that.
02:10So, I have to talk to Wallace.
02:12Tell them your opening line.
02:14Hey, David, how did you like a guy who's not here as much,
02:17gets paid the same amount of salary,
02:18and has bigger fish to fry in Philadelphia?
02:22I think it's good.
02:23He likes fishing.
02:24This is going to be awful.
02:28One of my jobs is to input customer complaints into the computer,
02:31and when they're in, I fill out one of these cards.
02:35But the information's already on the computer,
02:37so why am I filling out the card?
02:41I asked Andy, and he told me to chillax,
02:45and then went away on a big, long boat ride.
02:47So, here we are.
02:49Don't give me a pointless office, Jor,
02:51because I will build a little paper house
02:55to fight the power.
03:02Meet me in the old place.
03:03Five minutes.
03:04I need you.
03:15Ugh.
03:16Come on in.
03:17The water's fine.
03:18Dwight, it's not that kind of meeting.
03:20Put your clothes back on.
03:22I know.
03:23That's not why I'm naked.
03:25I always work out without my clothes.
03:27Just put them on.
03:29Put on your clothes.
03:31I need your help.
03:32I need someone who can operate outside of the law.
03:35Oh, I'm sorry.
03:37Your vigilante privileges ended when you broke up with me.
03:39If I'm not in your panties, I don't go vigilantes.
03:42Would you ask your husband?
03:43My marriage is in danger.
03:46I don't know who I can trust.
03:48I need someone to be there for me.
03:52Alright, what are we talking?
03:53Surveillance?
03:54Wiretapping?
03:55Something like that?
03:55Yeah.
03:56The less I know, the better.
03:58I know just a guy.
03:59He was a volunteer sheriff, too.
04:01Kicked off the force.
04:02Can you arrange a meeting?
04:03I could try.
04:06I'm going to use SMS text.
04:08Okay.
04:10Text went through.
04:12Okay.
04:12All we can do is sit and wait.
04:13Okay.
04:15Oh, look at that.
04:17Yeah, he's free anytime.
04:19Not a problem.
04:21You mean I can handle any client issues from Philly?
04:24Yeah, but I really need someone in the office.
04:26If there's a crisis, the more I think about it...
04:29Oh, you mean handle it in birthday?
04:30I don't know, because we're not friends.
04:32How about this?
04:33You let me take you to lunch, and I make my case.
04:36Now we're talking.
04:37Alright.
04:38Yeah.
04:42Make it go taller.
04:44That's the idea.
04:45No.
04:46Not taller this way.
04:48Taller this way.
04:50Well, I've got to build a wider base first before I can go higher.
04:53You're not getting this, Peter.
04:55Make it go wider.
04:57Up.
04:59Will do.
05:01What are y'all doing?
05:03Me and Pete are building a tower.
05:05Cool.
05:06This should be taller, though, right?
05:08Obviously.
05:09He's a sweet kid, Daryl.
05:12But not the sharpest guy in the drawer.
05:16Kevin, I can hear you.
05:19Huh?
05:24Ow!
05:25It's right!
05:25Ow!
05:26God!
05:30Is it safe to talk?
05:32Well, this documentary crew has been following our every move for the past nine years, but
05:36I don't see them, so I think we are good.
05:41So, what are your credentials?
05:43I started following people around to get exercise.
05:46Turns out, I'm damn good at it.
05:48Do you have a gun?
05:49Does he own a gun?
05:51Show her.
05:52Shh.
05:53You tell me.
05:57What is this?
05:58It's the receipt for my gun.
06:00You don't carry it with you?
06:03Read the receipt.
06:03That's a $300 gun.
06:06Someone could steal it.
06:07Do you have any idea how many guns Trevor's has stolen from him?
06:10No, I keep it in a safe.
06:12Good safe?
06:13Oh, you tell me.
06:17Wow.
06:32I guess if I make a mistake, I can just paint over it with a shrub or something.
06:37It's just, I think, less of paintings with a lot of shrubs.
06:41So, I'm going to limit myself to one shrub.
06:44You paint, Voruna?
06:46Yeah.
06:47Painting now.
06:49I just want to make sure that.
06:52You paint now?
06:54I mean, it's probably going to be a few minutes.
06:56So, you can just go back to doing whatever you were doing.
07:00I wait.
07:04Sweet.
07:07This next card comes to us thanks to Meredith Palmer,
07:10who called Eastern Pennsylvania Seminary a, quote, sausage factory.
07:14Oh!
07:19All right.
07:20Up next, we got a whole lot of creed.
07:24Let's find out what I did.
07:25All right.
07:27You get half now.
07:28You get half upon completion of said job.
07:30And that's all off the books?
07:32Obviously.
07:33Nice.
07:34No taxes.
07:36Okay.
07:36So, everything you need to know about the target is in here.
07:39So, what's the job?
07:42Murder.
07:44Okay.
07:45That's the big one.
07:46That's the big M.
07:47You can't have someone murdered.
07:50What if they deserved it?
07:51What did they do to you, Angela?
07:53They're sleeping with my husband.
07:55Oh, monkey.
07:56Oh, I feel for you.
07:58This seems a little crazy.
07:59Yes.
08:00Crazy.
08:00Thank you.
08:01But I think I'm up for it.
08:02No.
08:02Thank you.
08:03No.
08:03Absolutely not.
08:04There are a lot of different ways to get revenge.
08:05I've had great success by defecating in a paper bag.
08:08That's very effective.
08:10I've been on the receiving end of that quite a few times.
08:12It's devastating.
08:13No.
08:13No.
08:14No.
08:14It has to be physical.
08:15I want this person to suffer.
08:17What about a kneecapping?
08:18No.
08:18No.
08:18You're not helping, Trevor.
08:19Yes.
08:20A kneecapping could work.
08:22No.
08:23Angela.
08:24What are you saying?
08:25You said you would be there for me.
08:27I'm trying.
08:28But what you're asking is...
08:29It's the only thing that will make this right.
08:34Okay.
08:36But it's cruel.
08:37Because a woman with damaged knees can't scrub worth a damn.
08:40All right.
08:41And it's settled.
08:42One kneecapping.
08:43Now, the hit goes down at 4 o'clock.
08:47Keep in mind, once I leave, there's no turning back.
08:51You know, truth be told, I think all you'll really be doing is accepting calls from my clients while I'm
08:55gone.
08:56We've got all afternoon to talk about that.
08:59Morning, folks.
08:59I'll have the surf and turf with a side order of lobster.
09:03Actually, the surf and turf does come.
09:06I brought you a cookie.
09:08Oh, thanks, Oscar.
09:10You're such an angel.
09:25I just gave her a cookie and she called me an angel.
09:28So, yeah, we're good.
09:30Yeah.
09:33We dodged a bullet.
09:34Yes, okay.
09:35Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:36Well, I gotta go now, but okay.
09:38Bye, bye.
09:40There we go.
09:42Nicely done.
09:43Very nicely done.
09:44Nice.
09:45All right.
09:46This next one goes to Daryl for pocket dialing a customer while having sex.
09:51Oh, you salty dog.
09:54Well, you know, what can I say?
09:56A player's got to play.
09:57There you go.
09:58Actually, that was the sound of me eating spaghetti, but I'm going to let them think the other thing.
10:04Okay, I got this one.
10:06Oh, be careful, be careful, be careful.
10:08Easy does it, everyone.
10:11Nobody even take a breath.
10:20Hey, hey, hey, it's just a mistake.
10:23It's just a mistake.
10:24That's what this tower's all about.
10:26Mistakes.
10:27Okay, if you're afraid of screwing up, the tower's not for you.
10:30Show of hands, who here has never had a complaint?
10:33That's right.
10:35Nobody.
10:36See that?
10:37Nobody.
10:39Okay?
10:40Let's get back to work, huh?
10:42Come on, you in?
10:45Yeah, there we go.
10:47All right, let's do it.
10:50You know, at the end of the day, it's really only two days, remember?
10:53I mean, I'll be back in the office, and if you need me for an emergency, call me.
10:57You know what?
10:58I don't know where the years went, because sometimes when I look at my hands, I don't even recognize them.
11:05Tell me about it.
11:06Whose hands are these?
11:07Not my hands.
11:09I don't know.
11:09All right.
11:10You know what?
11:11Maybe we'll just, ah, we'll go slow.
11:14All right, check it out, huh?
11:17Like a phoenix from the ashes.
11:20Nice.
11:21Pretty soon, we're gonna be at the ceiling.
11:25Uh, can you hand me a card?
11:28Um, it's empty.
11:29What?
11:30Oh, come on, we could use a blank card.
11:33No!
11:33That's cheating.
11:35I could get us a complaint.
11:37You?
11:37Little Miss Pris?
11:39You wouldn't fart on a butterfly.
11:41No, I wouldn't.
11:42I can't even relate to that impulse.
11:44But I bet I could get us a customer complaint.
11:47I'd like to try.
11:48No.
11:49Yeah.
11:51Yeah, go PAM!
11:52All right, PAM!
11:53PAM!
11:53PAM!
11:54PAM!
11:55PAM!
11:55PAM!
11:56PAM!
11:56Go PAM!
11:56Go PAM!
11:57Go PAM!
11:57PAM!
11:58PAM!
11:59Hey, Pam, what's up?
12:01Pam, Pam, Pam!
12:02What?
12:02Why did you call me out here?
12:04The target.
12:05It's Oscar, isn't it?
12:07He and the senator are gay-ing each other.
12:10I don't know what you're talking about.
12:12Your nostrils tell a different story.
12:13They flare like that every time you're engaging in deception.
12:16Hello again, Naughty Nostrils.
12:19Fine, it's Oscar, so what?
12:21Well, I could understand you wanting to get a stranger's knees whacked.
12:24But a coworker? Dare I say a friend?
12:27Exactly, a friend.
12:28Someone who sits next to you year after year, making chit chat and smiling,
12:32and all the while running behind your back,
12:34and defiling your marriage and seducing your husband.
12:37I can't even imagine how painful this must be for you.
12:41But the first ones to break your marriage vows were you and me.
12:46Well, you might be right.
12:49But it's too late now.
12:50What do you mean?
12:52He's here.
12:55No! No! No!
13:02Oscar! Oscar! Oscar! Good! Listen! Hey, come with me!
13:06What? Come with me!
13:07Keep doing it!
13:08There are a bunch of construction workers in the warehouse without their trousers,
13:12drinking diet sodas. You've got to see this!
13:14They're extraordinary!
13:16Yatsy!
13:23Sandwich delivery for Mr. Oscar Martinez.
13:30I am Oscar Martinez?
13:34No, not him! Not him! Outside!
13:37Outside!
13:40What?
13:41You know there's donuts in the break room.
13:43Knife!
13:46Listen, I was really wondering if maybe we could lock this down before lunch is over.
13:50Don't be bushy jam, it's tacky.
13:52All right.
13:53Phyllis! Phyllis! That's...
13:55That's decorative.
13:55No, there's wine in here.
13:57Still decorative.
13:58Is it white wine?
13:59Nope.
13:59Dude, hey, can you help me?
14:01Can you help me?
14:01Don't poke people with knives.
14:03Phyllis!
14:05Wow!
14:06Ooh, bring it over.
14:07Got it.
14:08There's no time to explain!
14:14Okay, actually there is time to explain.
14:15What is wrong with you?
14:17What is wrong with you?
14:18There are a million gorgeous guys in the Scranton-Wilkesbury area,
14:22and you choose the man who's the father of our child?
14:24I don't know what you're talking about.
14:25Oh, don't lie.
14:26I'm trying to save those precious knees you're always bragging about.
14:29Now, let's get out of here.
14:31He could be right behind us!
14:33Ah!
14:34Actually, he's right in front of us!
14:36Let's get it on.
14:37I'm gonna do this.
14:38I might...
14:39I might puke, but...
14:40I'm gonna do this.
14:41No, Trevor.
14:41I'm not gonna let you.
14:42He's a Dunder Mifflin man.
14:44He's my tribe.
14:45I'm sorry, Dwight, but for once in my stupid, stupid life,
14:48I'm gonna follow through on something, all right?
14:50I have masculinity issues.
14:51I have...
14:52No!
14:53No!
14:53No!
14:54No!
14:54No!
14:57No!
15:01No!
15:02No!
15:04No, Oscar, no!
15:05No, he's a friend!
15:06Okay.
15:06He's a friend.
15:08Okay, the client is Haymont Brickentire.
15:10They're family-owned, but don't let that take away your edge.
15:13Come on, Hum.
15:14I know you can fail.
15:15I see failure in you.
15:17Remember, you're a scumbag, so you think scummy thoughts, like this.
15:23Hello, this is Pam Halpert.
15:25I'm calling from Dunder Mifflin.
15:28Yes, your paper provider.
15:30And I just called to say...
15:33Your mama is so fat when she wears red, people yell,
15:36Hey, Kool-Aid!
15:37Yeah, your mama's fat!
15:39This is Pam Halpert.
15:41Did you die?
15:42Did they say anything?
15:43No, no, no.
15:44I can tell.
15:44I don't...
15:45Were they hungry?
15:46I felt like they were confused, at least.
15:48Okay.
15:55Dunder Mifflin, this is Aaron.
15:57Yes, you can.
15:59Okay.
16:01I will make sure that goes on file.
16:04Ladies and gentlemen, we just lost a client!
16:07Oh!
16:08Yes!
16:09All right!
16:10Yes!
16:10Come on.
16:11Good.
16:11See you later, Heymont.
16:14No.
16:17If you chase me, I will run so fast.
16:20If you catch me, I will bite so hard.
16:22Got it?
16:23Goodbye, my friend.
16:25What the hell, Dwight?
16:26See you later, Trevor.
16:27You are incorrigible!
16:29I just saved your life!
16:31You're welcome!
16:35You hired someone to hit me with a pipe!
16:38You deserved every bit of it!
16:40You made my husband gay!
16:43What I did was wrong, and I have to live with that every day, but...
16:48Your husband is gay, and he was gay when you married him!
16:51No.
16:52No.
16:52Angela, until you face that, you're going to be confused and angry for all the wrong reasons.
16:56But if you want to blame me for the whole thing...
16:59Go ahead, I won't stop you.
17:01Hit me!
17:02You have my blessing.
17:03Hit me!
17:05What, are you going to let go of it?
17:06Because part of the blame is definitely on you!
17:09Angela, it's a lead-freaking-pipe.
17:10God!
17:11Ow!
17:11Ah!
17:12You were supposed to be my friend!
17:14I'm so sorry, Angela!
17:15Oscar!
17:20Our crown and complaint card comes to us thanks to...
17:24Pamela Halpert.
17:25Yeah!
17:26Come on.
17:27Woo!
17:28Woo!
17:28Four.
17:29Insulting a client's recently deceased mother.
17:32Yes!
17:32I did not know that.
17:33Well, a woman who struggled with obesity all her life.
17:38I'm so sorry.
17:39Wow.
17:39Yeah.
17:40That's...
17:41That is terrible.
17:44Yeah!
17:45All right!
17:45Yeah!
17:45Woo!
17:46You did it!
17:47You did it!
17:48Yeah!
17:57I feel so stupid.
17:59I sit next to him every day.
18:03You're not stupid.
18:05Jazz is stupid.
18:07Jazz is stupid!
18:10I mean, just play the right notes!
18:13I know.
18:17You're gonna be okay, monkey.
18:27I don't like your friend Trevor.
18:30I don't like him either.
18:35And yet I really like him.
18:43Well, we're here.
18:47Perfect.
18:55We're gonna cover for you, you know.
18:59I'm jealous.
19:00What was that?
19:01Phyllis, are you dreaming?
19:02Or...
19:03I did enjoy grinding your beans, son.
19:07Yeah, we really did peel your grapes.
19:10This is hilarious.
19:11We're gonna stop with all the...
19:13Shucking your peas.
19:14Shucking your peas.
19:15Sorry, just to go back to the first part, though.
19:17You are gonna cover for me?
19:19Yeah.
19:20Of course we are, Jimmy.
19:21We love you guys.
19:23Oh, my God.
19:24Thank you.
19:25Thank you.
19:27If you're an artist, you have to be okay with the idea
19:29that you can't please everybody all the time.
19:32You pinch-picked-picked-picked!
19:33Shut up, Hede!
19:35I mean, do you think Kevin cares what people think about him?
19:38Or Creed?
19:38Or Meredith?
19:40Oh, my gosh.
19:41These are my role models now.
19:44You know what?
19:45I'm okay with that.
19:50Where does gayness come from?
19:52And how is it transmitted?
19:54That is a loaded question.
19:57My pastor said it can come from breastfeeding.
20:01He said that?
20:02Well, he didn't fight me hard on it.
20:05I don't know if there's truth to that.
20:09What is it called when two men intertwine their penises?
20:12Like the snakes on the medic alert bracelet?
20:17Uh...
20:17Is it called red vining?
20:19Is it called red vining?
20:20I don't know.
20:21We heard it was called red vining.
20:22People red vine?
20:25Where are gay men's vaginas?
20:30They don't have vaginas.
20:32What?
20:34No.
20:35They're just regular men.
20:37When two gay men have sex, how do they know whose penis will open up to accept the other person's
20:45penis?
20:47Oh...
20:49Wow.
20:51The most detrimental thing.
20:52Oh!
21:12We have to make a life more.
21:12Oh, no.
21:13Oh, no.
21:14Oh.
21:14Oh, no.
21:16Oh, no.
21:17Oh, no.
21:17Oh, no.
21:17Oh, no.
21:18Oh, no.
21:19Oh, no.
Comments