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Watch The Office Season 9 Episode 13 online in HD on Dailymotion (2025).
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00:00Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:30Hey, say hi to Alyssa.
00:32Will do.
00:32Okay, thank you.
00:33Sure.
00:35Hey, boom guy.
00:37Oh, hey, Meredith.
00:39When are you gonna boom me?
00:40Uh, listen, they're cracking down on us talking to the subjects.
00:43It's a lame rule, but, you know, I wanna...
00:45I'll see you later.
00:46Got it.
01:20Hey, so I hear you're bringing in some people to interview for the sales job?
01:24That's right.
01:25Couple old friends.
01:26Ballers only must be this cool to ride.
01:30Well, uh, see, you raised it.
01:33Did I?
01:34Oh, yes, I did.
01:35Wallace is letting me hire a junior sales associate to sit at Jim's desk while he's away in Philly.
01:40Finally, I'll have someone at my desk clump who gets me.
01:43It's like, really, Jim?
01:45You don't understand the difference between a slaughterhouse and a rendering plant?
01:49Uh, remind me not to lend you any dead cows or horses.
01:53Wow.
01:54You know what, man?
01:54I deserve this job.
01:55Mm-hmm.
01:56I scored Stone and Sunsuit Warehouse with you, and God knows to get the Scranton White Pages with Jan.
02:01I went above and beyond.
02:03And under.
02:04You know what?
02:06You're gonna get your interview, okay?
02:08I know that you're going head-to-head against some real superstars, but you've got a really good chance.
02:12Clark has no chance.
02:14I mean, he's up against my buddy Rolf, for God's sake.
02:17Guy goes fishing with hand grenades.
02:19And Trevor, he'll make you laugh so hard you'll puke your pants.
02:22This sucks.
02:23You know, you put in 12 grooves.
02:25You know, I thought this was an office, not the Thunderdome.
02:28Big change is coming to the old desk lump.
02:30No longer a Pam-Jim alliance against Dwight.
02:34Now it is Dwight and a friend Axis against Pam.
02:37You could have just called that an alliance, too, right?
02:40I chose my words very carefully.
02:43Things are a little delicate with me and Pam right now,
02:46and if my working in Philly is going to end up doubling the Dwight in her life,
02:50that's only going to make things worse.
02:57You interviewing for the sales job, too?
02:59No.
03:00You're interviewing for it.
03:01I'm getting it.
03:02Well, I wouldn't be so sure about that.
03:04I mean, I've been working here 12 weeks.
03:05That's a full season of Homeland.
03:07A ton of things can happen in that amount of time, as we've seen.
03:09I'm Rolf.
03:12Rolf All.
03:13Rolf All.
03:15Sounds kind of like Rol-Dol.
03:16Go to hell.
03:18There he is.
03:19Come on, buddy.
03:20Let's do this.
03:21Sorry, Rolf goes first.
03:23You don't compare.
03:24When you're with the R-O-L-F, you're literally rolling on the laughing floor.
03:29Oh, nice.
03:31Rolf is my best friend, and he is the man.
03:35Cool, calm, and collected 24-7.
03:38Just try and rattle Rolf.
03:40I dare you.
03:41Such a sweet guy.
03:43When are you talking to David Wallace?
03:44I'm talking to him this afternoon, but don't get your hopes up.
03:46Too late.
03:47My hopes are up.
03:48Last week, my company in Philly lost a big investor, so we're scrambling to find new funding.
03:52Luckily, my partners have a fix.
03:55Me asking the boss of the company I'm abandoning to give us a gigantic influx of cash.
04:00So, problem solved.
04:03Thanks, guys.
04:05So this chair's gonna be yours and the desk.
04:07I'm on the phone.
04:08I'm on the phone.
04:09No doy.
04:11I'm just gonna call you back.
04:12Thanks.
04:14I hope you like Norwegian black metal, because I don't do earbuds.
04:19Ho-ho!
04:20No earbuds!
04:24I'm sure he's just nervous.
04:27It's fine.
04:28It's just a seating arrangement.
04:30Doesn't matter.
04:34So, I've got your resume here, but it's not telling me everything.
04:38A lot of that information is private.
04:40How do I know you're qualified to evaluate me?
04:42I'm the one offering the job.
04:43What are your credentials?
04:45I've worked here for 12 years.
04:46I'm one salesman of the year.
04:48I'm an assistant to the regional manager.
04:49I think I've heard everything I need to hear.
04:50Wait, wait, wait.
04:51No, I mean, if you need to know more, you can call David Wallace.
04:53I'm sure he'd give a reference.
04:54Thank you, Dwight.
04:55I'll be in touch.
04:59Well, they can't all be winners, but Trevor's next, and he's a real professional.
05:04You say jump, and he says, on who?
05:07Loves to jump on people that, Trevor.
05:10What makes you think you'd be an effective paper salesman?
05:13Oh, okay.
05:15Didn't see that one coming.
05:18Can I take a 20 on that?
05:19Maybe we can circle back around to it?
05:21Well, it's a pretty basic question for a potential paper salesman.
05:24Pass.
05:25Next one.
05:27All right.
05:28Do you see yourself as more of a team player or a self-starter?
05:31No, no, and no.
05:35There were only two options.
05:37Check, mate.
05:39You win this one, my friend.
05:42Do you validate parking?
05:45This is a bus transfer.
05:48Nothing gets by this guy.
05:53Hey, Jim, do you mind if I look over these prize sheets before my interview?
05:56Sure, yeah, go ahead.
05:57Thanks, dude.
06:04You sure it's okay?
06:06Could you kind of...
06:06Yeah, absolutely.
06:08Do people like sitting next to you?
06:10They're clean, right?
06:11Oh, Dove Men.
06:12Nice.
06:13Yeah.
06:13Music, do you listen to it in the earbuds?
06:16You don't listen to it at all, because we're at work.
06:18Out of Florence and the Machine concert, so...
06:21Yeah, could I just have a minute to prepare for this?
06:24Sure, yeah, do whatever you need to do.
06:27Right after you do one thing for me.
06:30I need you to breathe in my face.
06:32Why?
06:33I need you to breathe in my face right now.
06:38What are we working with, peppermint or wintergreen?
06:40Wintergreen.
06:41I knew it.
06:41Yeah.
06:42I knew it.
06:43Good nose.
06:43I said you coming around, and I said wintergreen.
06:46I can't hire Clark.
06:47Yeah, he looks like a shrewd, but he thinks like a halpert, and he acts like a Beasley.
06:53Okay, here's one.
06:54A customer who ordered enough paper to qualify for a volume discount now wants to return half
06:58the stock.
06:59You can't rebate the sales price or credit for future purchases, because you brokered the
07:05deal for a third party.
07:07That's just a classic no-win situation.
07:09Thank you.
07:10So I'd Kobayashi Maru it.
07:11Damn it.
07:13Perfect answer.
07:14Again.
07:15Okay, think, Dwight.
07:16Think.
07:17You have a ream of 16 bonds.
07:19You know what, Dwight?
07:19And a nut...
07:20This interview's over, and I get the job.
07:22I just Kobayashi Maru'd the whole process.
07:26No.
07:27Yeah.
07:28Star Trek rules.
07:29It does, but still no.
07:31Come on, man.
07:32I mean, did Trevor do that?
07:33Did Roth do that?
07:34Oh, you think they're my only friends?
07:36I've got way more friends than that, and they're all better than the losers who work
07:39here.
07:49This is not natural.
07:56Just don't want to make assumptions based on people's physical appearances.
07:59Of course not, but does physical appearance include smell?
08:02They smell so bad.
08:04If I ever get that bad, you'd tell me, right?
08:06Where does that tell you all the time?
08:09Walked right into that one.
08:12Next up, my cousin Mose.
08:14Mose could make a great paper salesman.
08:16He's got a natural fear of paper, which would motivate him to get as much of it out of this
08:19office as possible.
08:20I've got big expectations, Mose-wise.
08:23What quality would make you a good sales associate?
08:26People person?
08:27It says here on your resume that you spent the last 15 years as a sales rep for Dow Chemical.
08:33That's right.
08:34You know we live together, right?
08:35Yes.
08:36And I've never seen you go to work, ever.
08:40Okay.
08:41So why is this on your resume?
08:48Okay.
09:04So why is this on your resume?
09:07So how did you guys hear about the position?
09:10My mom?
09:11Dwight called my house, but he didn't realize that I had already moved out because my mom
09:16and I are quarreling because I can't stay out of her stuff.
09:20Dwight's my cousin, so I overheard him telling my brother Mose about the job opportunity in
09:24in the shower.
09:25You were in the shower or he was in the shower?
09:27Everyone was in the shower.
09:29It's a cow shower, so there's like a ton of people in there.
09:32So you guys don't know Dwight already?
09:34I was his babysitter and then we dated for a while.
09:37He was a passionate lover and the sweetest little baby.
09:42I knew you looked familiar.
09:44You used to pick up Dwight from school.
09:46You went to X-Men school too?
09:48Well, X-Men school?
09:51When I was young, I spent several years at a private school where I was told I would
09:55be taught to harness my mutant abilities.
09:58Turned out it was a con man copying Charles Xavier's school for gifted youngsters from the
10:03X-Men comic books.
10:04Took me years to figure out that it was a con.
10:08Some people never figured it out.
10:10Oh, I have a few powers.
10:12Night hearing.
10:13Dogs understand where I point.
10:15And our training included picking carrots, scrubbing tubs, sewing imitation Levi's, a
10:21lot of telemarketing.
10:24I don't want to sit near any of those people for the next 20 years.
10:28Someone say something.
10:29I said something when they were thinking of hiring Jim.
10:32Didn't work then.
10:33Now look what he's doing to us.
10:35Yeah, Jim, this is all your fault.
10:37How's it my fault?
10:38Here's an exercise for you, Jim.
10:40Imagine there are consequences to your actions.
10:42Imagine the whole world does not revolve around this.
10:46There are others.
10:48But it's Dwight who's bringing in all the weirdos.
10:51Yeah, but Jim, Dwight's a weirdo.
10:52We can't blame a weirdo for bringing in weirdos.
10:55We can't blame a normal for creating a situation where a weirdo is allowed to bring in weirdos.
10:59Hey, I'm the one who has to sit next to this weirdo when Jim's away.
11:03I'm in a position where I'm rooting for Nate.
11:05And that just feels wrong.
11:10Forget it.
11:11I need to work on my mural.
11:13I have some pointy trees that I need to round off.
11:23Hey, Jim, I thought our call was for later.
11:26Yeah, this is actually about the new sales guy.
11:28Dwight has brought in a bunch of real weirdos.
11:31And I was wondering if I could have some input into...
11:33This is Dwight Schrute.
11:34Who am I speaking to?
11:35And don't lie.
11:36I can tell if you're lying.
11:36Hey, Dwight, it's David.
11:38David!
11:38Jim says he'd like some say in the hiring process.
11:42Really?
11:43That's interesting.
11:44Because I was thinking that since Jim is only here part-time,
11:47he might not be as invested in the decision-making process
11:50as someone like me who's here every day.
11:52And frankly, killing it lately.
11:53I was just thinking that because this person is going to be sitting at my desk
11:56near my wife...
11:58Jim, another thing.
11:59Since we are going to have to hire this junior sales associate to cover for you,
12:02I'm going to have to pay you only for the days that you actually work.
12:07Oh.
12:08Um.
12:09Yeah.
12:11Okay.
12:11I can't say that that's not fair.
12:13Sounds fair to me, David.
12:14I know we have a call scheduled for later.
12:16Oh, yeah.
12:16So we'll just do that later.
12:17No, I don't do it now.
12:19Yeah, what's up, Jim?
12:21Uh.
12:23Well, it's about athlete.
12:25I'm sorry.
12:26Does Dwight have to be on this part of the phone call?
12:27I'd love to be in the loop, David.
12:29Okay, go ahead, Jim.
12:32There's a very exciting opportunity to be a core investor.
12:35Okay.
12:36Jim, I'm going to have to stop you right there.
12:38Yes.
12:38Okay.
12:39Bye.
12:43I'd love to invest.
12:45No, thanks.
12:45I'd like to give you a hundred million dollars.
12:56Why you make trees into bushes?
12:59You don't make paper from bushes.
13:02Hire, they're giving out jobs upstairs.
13:05Why don't you go up and get one?
13:20It's dense.
13:22It's dense.
13:22Like bread.
13:28Dwight, you can't just hire someone because they're your friend.
13:31I'm not.
13:32I'm not.
13:32These people are the best of the best.
13:33I find talent an attractive quality in a friend.
13:36They're freaks, Dwight.
13:37All your friends are weirdos and freaks.
13:40You know who else was a freak?
13:43Spider-Man.
14:11Spider-Man.
14:11And he was also a hero.
14:11Sell me this piece of paper.
14:14Watch this.
14:15Do you want this paper?
14:17I sure do.
14:18It's not very good.
14:20I will pay you whatever it takes.
14:22I think I want to keep it now.
14:23It must be pretty special if you want it so bad.
14:25No, you have lots of other pieces of paper that are just like it.
14:28So here, just take my money for it.
14:29Stop trying to get my paper, buddy.
14:30Okay?
14:30Read my lips.
14:31It's over.
14:32Okay.
14:32Good.
14:33That was great.
14:34So, wow, you're still at the 570 number?
14:37I am.
14:38Okay.
14:39Good.
14:39Good.
14:40Good.
14:42I have eight years experience selling electronics in San Yostowa, downtown Tokyo.
14:49I was a doctor and I have a business degree from Tokyo University.
14:56This isn't going to work out.
15:00Thank you.
15:07Nate is a proven entity, but not without his handicaps.
15:10Hearing, vision, basic cognition.
15:13Trevor is great, but I saw no fire in him today.
15:15And this is a guy who loves to start fires.
15:18Troy is literally one of a kind.
15:20And he's a goblin or a hobbit or a kobold, which is a type of gremlin.
15:25And yet I'm hesitant.
15:27Why can't I pull the trigger on any of them?
15:30No, no, no.
15:33No.
15:34I just need to tell them.
15:35I just need to tell them.
15:40Do you need to be changed?
15:42I do that myself now.
15:45Are you going to make a decision soon?
15:47I've been double parked for five hours.
15:49I'm wondering if I should move my car.
15:51No, you've been towed by now.
15:53They tow after about 45 minutes.
15:55Well, the joke's on them.
15:57I live right next to the tow yard.
15:59All they did was save me some gas.
16:02Hey, man.
16:03You get how difficult this is.
16:05And no matter who you choose, we're still going to be your friend.
16:07Yeah.
16:08Whether it's me or Troy Underbridge or Gabor or Melvina.
16:11Or none of you.
16:12Yeah.
16:12You'd bring us all down here, put us through the ringer, and then choose none of us.
16:15Can you imagine how insulting that would be?
16:17The contempt that a person like that would have to have for you.
16:21I wish I could hire all of you.
16:23I gotta start Monday.
16:28Psst.
16:28Jim.
16:31Jim.
16:34Jim, turn around.
16:36Jim, turn around.
16:37Jim, turn around.
16:38Oh, I love staring off in one direction.
16:41If I'm not looking south, I'm not living.
16:43That's what I always like.
16:47Just act natural.
16:56And I was thinking it's only fair that you help make this decision since they'll be sitting at your desk
17:02next to your wife.
17:04But you know I wouldn't hire any of these all-stars.
17:06Oh, God, that sucks.
17:09Oh, what are you going to do?
17:11I mean, it's your call.
17:13Nope.
17:13Your friend's not turning out to be as gray as you thought.
17:15Not even Gabor.
17:17I guess I just have higher standards for my work colleagues than for my friends.
17:21I just couldn't picture any of them in the old gold and gray.
17:24I knew it.
17:25You designed a uniform for Dunder Mifflin.
17:27Summer.
17:29Winter.
17:30Jungle.
17:33Formal.
17:34Well, I, for one, was amazed at how qualified everyone was.
17:37You?
17:38Yes.
17:38Thank you.
17:39Yes.
17:39And I gotta say, this was a tough decision, and we had to go with none of you.
17:45I'm sorry.
17:46What?
17:47This is such bullcrap.
17:50Well, you know, Wallace put me in charge, so you have no say.
17:53Wow.
17:54So much crap.
17:55It's just a load of B.C.
17:57How could you do this to them?
18:00Too much now.
18:01Okay.
18:01Do we get our resumes back, or do you keep them?
18:04Because I only have the one, and I have a chili recipe on the back that I really want to
18:09keep.
18:10Okay, this is an outrage.
18:12Oh!
18:13You know what?
18:14This is Jim Halpert's home address, in case you guys want a toilet paper's house or whatever.
18:18That seems inconsiderate.
18:20No.
18:21We get it.
18:22Thanks so much for the opportunity, Dwight.
18:25Don't open any suspicious packages you may receive.
18:28No, wait.
18:29Do open them.
18:30Totally safe.
18:32Guys, it wasn't up to me.
18:34Rolf, come on.
18:35Guys, it wasn't my choice.
18:37I would have hired all of you.
18:38Gabor.
18:39Gabor.
18:40Well, my day's shot.
18:41Yeah, it's that weird hour where it's too late to start a slow roast and too early for a Swanson's.
18:45I got it.
18:47Paintball.
18:47Oh, that sounds awesome.
18:48Can we wait till I get off work?
18:50And what are we supposed to do until then?
18:52Okay.
18:52Let's just go, you guys.
18:54Yeah.
18:54No limit on weapons class, right?
19:02All right.
19:03I think that went well.
19:08So, uh, if you just take a look at this, that'll print it.
19:11Hey, meet your new deskmate.
19:13What's up?
19:14Good looking?
19:14Oh, cool.
19:15Hey, Clark.
19:17Trust me, this is the least of all the evils.
19:19Took me all day to pull this off, so you should be thrilled, considering.
19:23Yeah, I guess.
19:24I mean, kind of liked my old deskmate.
19:27Okay.
19:29I'm really sorry.
19:30I told the guys I'd be there for the board meeting.
19:32Of course.
19:33I will call you when I get there.
19:34All right.
19:35Bye.
19:35All right, take care of my wife.
19:36I will be back.
19:38Bye.
19:39Bye.
19:40Bye.
19:40Bye.
19:40Bye.
19:47They say that everyone outgrows their friends at some point in their lives.
19:52Well, I just outgrew them all in the span of three hours.
19:56Hey, Pam.
19:57I'm going to the kitchen.
19:58You want anything?
19:59I'm good.
19:59Oh, hey.
20:00I'll take a coffee.
20:01Oh, I'm sorry.
20:02You gotta be this cool for coffee.
20:14Hey.
20:15Bye.
20:16Bye.
20:16Bye.
20:17C'est ce qui ?
20:19Me ?
20:20Us
20:23Absolute I do
20:25Ok
20:26Ok
20:26Ok
20:30So, la prochaine fois qu'il va dans le bâtiment
20:32Je vais vous prendre le bâtiment
20:34Ok, je sais ce qu'il faut
20:35Oh, c'est vrai
20:46Welcome to the club, Pam
20:48No, what ?
20:52No, it does matter
20:53Who ends up sitting next to Pam when I'm gone
20:56The people around you are basically
20:57Who you end up spending your life with
20:59I mean, because of where my desk was
21:01I spent all those years looking at Pam
21:03And I fell in love
21:04So, that stuff matters
21:07Definitely does
21:36You
21:37You
21:46You
21:47You
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