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00:05FANZAI!
00:09Play at home fun.
00:11From a land where anything is truly possible, comes new gambling opportunities.
00:19Trace your bets now, it's time to play FANZAI!
00:28FANZAI!
00:36FANZAI!
00:44This is Hazel, she's 63 years old.
00:48Her husband passed away 20 years ago.
00:50She has 4 grandchildren, is going on a holiday to Malta in the summer and believes in God.
00:57This is a thought.
00:59She's 68 years old and she enjoys paragliding.
01:03She had a husband and a dog but both tragically died.
01:07Maybe that important, I don't know.
01:09But the question is, who willing to risk it all in our ultimate test?
01:17Old lady wheelchair chicken challenge!
01:22Both old ladies must drive their wheelchairs in a straight line.
01:27Collision course is inevitable unless one old lady pulls away.
01:32Who will chicken out first?
01:35Will it be Hazel or Dot?
01:37Hazel or Dot?
01:38Hazel or Dot?
01:40Pressure bets now!
01:43Come on, come on!
01:44Quick, quick!
01:45Bet, bet, bet!
01:47Betting ends!
01:49Time for old ladies to battle.
02:02They crashed!
02:04Oh my, oh my!
02:06Are you okay?
02:07Did anyone chicken out?
02:09Let's look at other camera.
02:11Look old lady Hazel, she chicken out.
02:16Not by much, admittedly, but she chicken out.
02:18She chicken, so she lose.
02:21Congratulations to Dot and everyone who know her.
02:28Still lots of gambling opportunities to come.
02:31But now, an animal scientific experiment.
02:38Progress leads to knowledge.
02:40Knowledge leads to truth.
02:42The search for truth leads to...
02:45The small animal balloon leads to gamble.
02:52This chicken, he called Larry.
02:54You may say he look a little bit like a big gay chicken.
02:59Whatever.
03:00That not important.
03:02Rules of animal experiment very simple.
03:06Take one chicken.
03:07In this case, Larry.
03:09Take bundles of helium floaty balloons and attach them to chicken
03:12until he flies straight up in the air.
03:15Chicken must go straight up.
03:17Hovering don't come.
03:19So, how many helium balloons you think the animal scientist need to tie to Larry the chicken before he take
03:26off?
03:27Will it be...
03:2930.
03:30B.
03:3160.
03:33C.
03:3490.
03:36Or...
03:37D.
03:38120.
03:41To help with difficult decision.
03:44We put Larry on scales to see how much he weigh.
03:48Oh, 400 grams.
03:51Same as small bag of flour or large bag of peanuts.
03:55So, what's it to be?
03:58Make bet now.
03:59Yes.
03:59Hovering.
04:02Hovering.
04:04Hovering.
04:04Hovering.
04:05Hovering.
04:06Here.
04:06Come on.
04:07Come on.
04:08Bet.
04:09Bet.
04:09Bet.
04:10Bet.
04:10Okay.
04:11That's it.
04:12Letting end.
04:14Let the experiment begin.
04:17First, the scientist attach 30 balloons to Larry.
04:25oh here we go no we don't if you said the 30 you're wrong now we must try 60 balloons
04:39could be tasty potential mounting
04:46oh yeah no no no no no that's not count more balloons please
04:55okay 90 balloons
05:00gently does it gently gently yes now
05:19let's have another look at that flying chicken this time in slow motion
05:27goodbye Larry we salute your ultimate sacrifice at the altar of science
05:34you blame little chicken we never forget you
05:51the generous portion the gentleman gamble five gentlemen one has been blessed with a genuine
05:59super large lady pleaser the other four are not so lucky
06:03their aim is to deceive by stuffing socks down their underpants
06:08so can you tell whose monster sized package is the real thing
06:13number one perhaps
06:18impressive what about number two
06:21oh very nice
06:24maybe number three
06:26no probably not
06:29could be number four
06:32oh marvelous
06:34or perhaps it's number five
06:38what a smashing block
06:41okay so which one the genuine generous portion gentlemen
06:47place your bets now
06:50come on now now now
06:52what is going to be one two three four or five
06:56come on come on come on come on quick quick quick quick quick
06:59quick quick
07:00betting ends
07:02you know i can
07:04if you put your money on number five
07:08you wrong
07:09he not naturally gifted in the trouser department
07:15if you say number one
07:18you wronger
07:19he only got a little tiny fella
07:21do anything
07:23if you went for number two
07:29outstanding
07:31congratulations
07:32cause he the man who big down under
07:35banzai banzai banzai banzai
07:39man in ridiculous gold coat called galley
07:43man in lilac coat called bradley
07:46don't worry not raining
07:48they are preparing for battle on the
07:53wheel of misfortune
07:58on the wheel of misfortune are six spring activated style umbrellas
08:03five of the brollies have had their springs deactivated
08:06so only one will now spring open at the touch of a button
08:11mr galley and mr bradley must use great courage
08:15and take it in turns at shooting the brollies into their face
08:20if they pick a broke one they okay
08:24if not they lose not only the game but maybe a few teeth as well
08:30so who will emerge victorious golden gary or lilac bradley
08:42is
08:47is
08:49is
08:49is
08:51is
08:57He aims.
09:02Yokey!
09:04Now it's time for Gary to pick.
09:08Things getting interesting now.
09:12He shows no fear.
09:15Pull the trigger, Gary.
09:17Now you're so lucky.
09:19Four bloodies left.
09:21Only one will explode into face.
09:27Will Bradley get it?
09:30No!
09:31No spring in that one either.
09:34Where are bloodies with spring?
09:39Okay, Gary's turn now.
09:42He's nervous.
09:43He close his eyes.
09:45Oh my!
09:46Oh my!
09:49Oh, let's see that again in slow motion.
09:54He got a mouth full of glory!
09:59So, Bradley the winner.
10:02Congratulations, Manco Bradley.
10:04Glory and honor know your name and would like to go for a drink with you sometime.
10:11Mr. Shake Hands Man!
10:14Mr. Shake Hands Man!
10:16Mr. Shake Hands Man liked to shake hands with celebrity people for a long time.
10:20How long you think he shake hands with famous lesbian lady Miss Anna from Big Brother for?
10:26Will it be between 0 and 30 seconds?
10:3131 to 60 seconds?
10:3361 to 90 seconds?
10:3591 to 120 seconds?
10:37121 to 150 seconds?
10:40Face your bets!
10:41Now!
10:42Come on!
10:43Come on!
10:44Bet!
10:44Bet!
10:45Bet!
10:45Bet!
10:48Betting ends!
10:50Hello, Anna.
10:51Nice to meet you.
10:51Nice to meet you.
10:52May I have your spare time, please?
10:54Sorry?
10:54May I have your spare time for you?
10:55Yes, absolutely.
10:56What do you come here for tonight?
10:59For...
10:59Queer company, yeah.
11:00Oh, yeah, yeah.
11:01What do you think about the word queer?
11:03It's a great word.
11:04He calling her queer.
11:05I'm sure.
11:07That's a bit rude.
11:09No.
11:09What do you think if someone...
11:11Yes.
11:12...calling you queer?
11:13Yes.
11:13...from other people?
11:15Um...
11:15It depends what way they're using it.
11:16You know, a few years ago it would have been...
11:19Uh...
11:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:19I don't know.
11:20It's a bad word, but...
11:21If you said under 30 seconds, you're wrong.
11:24But anyway, I have to say congratulations on your big brothers.
11:27When you got in there...
11:28Mr. Shake Hands Man, very good at the shaking hands,
11:32but not so good at the interview.
11:33So, come on!
11:34Shake that hand good and proper!
11:36Oh, I was...
11:37I didn't mind at all.
11:37I really supported for you, alright?
11:39But...
11:41Why?
11:41Why?
11:42Oh, Craig was great.
11:44Oh, I know.
11:45He was wonderful, yeah.
11:46What do you think about his beautiful body?
11:48What did he say then?
11:49He says something about Craig having a beautiful body.
11:53She don't care about him.
11:54She likes ladies, you stupid man.
11:58Still, be now well over one minute.
12:00I think she's beginning to like it.
12:03No, no, no.
12:04She's not well...
12:05Oh, you left behind?
12:06Yeah, sore tooth.
12:07So, she's at home.
12:10Oh, no.
12:11Mr. Shake Hands Man, pause.
12:12Still, the Anastaman thing is all over.
12:14Lovely.
12:14Keep going.
12:15Keep holding.
12:16Hold it.
12:16Hold it.
12:17Hold it.
12:18Hold it.
12:18Yeah.
12:19Remember, she like it.
12:21Shake hands, very hard.
12:22Quick, quick.
12:23Oh, no.
12:24They pushing him away.
12:25Stop the clock.
12:2895 seconds.
12:30Congratulations, Mr. Shake Hand Man, on a good job.
12:33Well done.
12:34One time.
12:38That's all from part one, but still plenty more gambling opportunities in part two, including
12:44the Naughty Lady Chat Line Challenge, the Great Supermarket Trolley Cake Jump, and the
12:51Dishonorable Door Deception, with Harold Bishop from Neighbours.
12:56One time.
12:59End of part one.
13:02One time.
13:03End of part one.
13:08One time.
13:11Naughty Lady Chat Line Challenge.
13:15This Mr. Cheeky Chappy.
13:18He may know very few words, but many cheeky adventures.
13:23But what are you up to this week?
13:26My name's Angel.
13:27Tell me how you like it.
13:28Tight.
13:29Hard.
13:29From behind.
13:30Oh, blimey.
13:31Mr. Cheeky Chappy get hold of naughty number and call up Mr. Lady to talk dirty to him.
13:38On my hands and knees.
13:40My arse right up in the air.
13:42Question is, which of these ladies is owner of the dirty lady voice Cheeky Chappy listening
13:48to?
13:50The Naughty Lady Chat Line Challenge.
13:56Is it number one?
13:58Got to do as you're told, or I might just spank your bottom.
14:02Number two.
14:04Come on, it's as tight as a mouse's ear.
14:06Just slide your tongue around it.
14:08Oh, blimey.
14:09Maybe it's number three?
14:10I'd have you tied up, with your arms above your head.
14:13Then I'd have you stripped naked.
14:15Could be number four.
14:17Oh, I'll treat you badly.
14:18I'll teach you to be my whore.
14:20What about number five?
14:23Come on, get your head down.
14:25Right between my legs.
14:26Oh, very nice.
14:30So, who you put your money on?
14:32Place your bets now.
14:34Come on, come on, come on, come on.
14:36Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick.
14:37Oh God, I can feel you.
14:38No more time left.
14:39Betting ends.
14:42If you go for number five.
14:45You wrong.
14:47She not a naughty lady.
14:49She a normal lady.
14:50If you say number three.
14:53She's not normal.
14:55She also is not the one.
14:58If you say number two.
15:01You hitting the nail on your head.
15:05Blimey!
15:06Even cheekier than cheeky chappy.
15:08Quick, what else he got?
15:11Oh!
15:12Bunt my!
15:20The dishonorable door deception.
15:24With Harold Bishop from Neighbours.
15:31Mr. Harold is a superstar of daytime television.
15:35If you are a fan of daytime television, then...
15:38Why don't you go and get a job?
15:40Are you afraid of hard work or something?
15:44Mr. Harold Bishop has nothing but contempt
15:46for these lazy, unemployed, student, housewife people
15:50and likes to torment them in the daytime
15:52by knocking on their door...
15:56and running away.
16:02Question is...
16:03How long do you think owner of this house
16:06take to answer door after Mr. Harold has knocked and ran?
16:10Do you think it will be...
16:12A. 0 to 20 seconds?
16:15B. 21 to 40 seconds?
16:19Or C. 41 to 60 seconds?
16:22Place your pits now!
16:25Come on, come on!
16:26Quick, quick!
16:27Bet, bet, bet!
16:28Letting the end!
16:31Now, here we go.
16:33Mr. Harold Bishop.
16:35Here comes the knock the door.
16:37Yes, looking around.
16:40Hmm...
16:41Now...
16:41Harold knocking, start the clock!
16:43Go, go, go, go, go!
16:44Run!
16:45Yeah, yeah!
16:48Oh, no sign of order here.
16:51Maybe no one in!
16:54Oh, somebody coming up!
16:56Yes!
16:56Yes, yes, yes!
16:57Let's open the door!
16:58Come on, open it!
16:59Open it!
17:01Oh, no!
17:02They've gone away!
17:04Come on!
17:05What's...
17:05What's...
17:05What's it doing, eh?
17:07I wonder...
17:09Neighbors!
17:10Everybody need good neighbors!
17:12But good neighbors only become good friends when you found the perfect blend!
17:18Oh, he's coming again!
17:20Open the door?
17:21No!
17:21No, yeah!
17:22What...
17:23What's he doing?
17:25Oh, yes!
17:25Open the door!
17:26Ah!
17:27Stop the clock!
17:29Forty-two seconds!
17:30Marvellous!
17:32Oh!
17:33He's a student!
17:35There's a bugger!
17:36Haha!
17:38Thank you, Mr. Harold!
17:39May your name be forever associated with the mild torment of your fellow man!
17:45Hup! Hup! Hup!
17:47Hup! Hup!
17:48Pantoy!
17:49The Breast Weight Gamble!
17:55Nancy Lamb, very famous celebrity cook!
17:58She was on Channel 5!
18:01But how much does her left breast weigh?
18:04The Breast Weight Gamble!
18:09Does it weigh the same as a parsnip?
18:11A mango?
18:13Or this bunch of broccoli?
18:16Place your bets now!
18:22Betting the end!
18:27Ah!
18:29Oh, he's pring!
18:30Pring and string!
18:31Ho ho!
18:33Ho ho ho!
18:35Stippling!
18:36Hmm?
18:37How much?
18:38How much?
18:39Ah!
18:4030.5 ounces!
18:43Mr. Chiki Chappie say, Nancy Lamb's left breast weighs 30 and a half ounces!
18:50That's the same as this parsnip!
18:58Banzai!
19:02The Banzai Calling Booth Big Bet!
19:06This week, Mr. Peter Doctor Who Davison!
19:10Mr. Peter, once again the Earth is under attack from the evil Daleks!
19:16They will only retreat if you promise to have bottom sex with one of the other doctors!
19:22So, for the safety of our planet, which one would you do it proper with?
19:28Would it be A, Mr. Tom Baker, either one with a very long scarf?
19:35Or B, Mr. John Pertwee, either one with a sonic screwdriver?
19:40Or C, Mr. Sylvester McCoy!
19:44He the one who wasn't very good!
19:47So, which one he go for?
19:50Baker, Tertwee, or McCoy?
19:53Make your bets now!
19:56Come on, come on, come on!
19:58Quick, quick, quick!
20:00Bet, bet, bet, bet!
20:03Betting ends!
20:07Okay, Mr. Peter made up his mind!
20:10Which Time Lord he choose to do it with?
20:14Aha!
20:16It's he!
20:17Sylvester McCoy!
20:19Can you believe it?
20:21Mr. Peter Davidson wanted to do Sylvester McCoy in the bottom!
20:25I never know he were like that!
20:29The Flying Supermarket Trolley Trial!
20:34Two men in supermarket car park!
20:37One man called himself Matt Jack!
20:39He liked to live life in Fast Lane!
20:42He has no fear!
20:44But he does have a mate called Will!
20:46But he not important!
20:48Because tonight, Mr. Matt must face his ultimate challenge!
20:54The Great Supermarket Trolley Cake Jump!
21:01The Great Supermarket Trolley Cake Jump!
21:02Rules of Supermarket Trolley Cake Jumping, very simple!
21:05Mr. Matt sits in trolley!
21:07Mr. Matt sits in trolley and is pushed at great speed toward ramp by other bloke!
21:10Beyond ramp!
21:11Like ten double chocolate ghetto cakes!
21:14Each cake is fifteen centimeters in diameter!
21:17They are spaced eight centimeters apart!
21:20Object of game is to jump over as many of them as possible!
21:24But remember, Supermarket Trolley must clear cake completely!
21:29Otherwise it don't count!
21:31Understand?
21:31Good!
21:33So, how many cakes you think he jump?
21:36Will it be A2, B4, C6, D8, or E10?
21:43Praise your bets, now!
21:46Remember?
21:47If you don't speculate, you don't accumulate!
21:51Betting ends!
21:56And so, it is time.
21:59Good luck, Matt.
22:00There he goes!
22:02Getting good speed!
22:05Good jump!
22:07Good cake jump!
22:08He nearly cleared the lot!
22:09Oh, let's see that the games flow more so!
22:16Outstanding!
22:18If you bet Mr. Matt would clear eight gigs,
22:21then congratulations!
22:23Teach your children well that courage is a dish best served whole!
22:33Banzai!
22:38Next week on Banzai...
22:41The Erection Man Challenge!
22:45I'm looking for a sponsor to help sponsor my erection!
22:49No?
22:51Clown Drowning!
22:53With real clowns!
22:57And the Nice Lady Lesbian Soup Sucking Contest!
23:01Hey!
23:02So, until next time!
23:06Banzai!
23:07Hey!
23:08How do you play?
23:09I..
23:09I'm sorry.
23:16Hey, guys...
23:18I'm sorry!
23:23Anyway...
23:24Hey!
23:24You know...
23:26Hey, guys!
23:27How are you?
23:29The...
23:29Yeah!
23:34You...
23:34Hey, guys...
23:39Radar.
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