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00:00.
00:05From a land where anything is truly possible comes new gambling opportunity.
00:14Place your bets now. It's time to play Banzai.
00:25Banzai!
00:31Banzai!
00:34Place your bets now!
00:47A deceit from Dr. Dilemma.
00:50This lady is called Rebecca.
00:54What a lovely name!
00:56Today, Miss Rebecca has kindly volunteered to allow these three doctor men to touch her front pits.
01:06Ridiculous, ain't it?
01:08Your task is simple. Only one of these men is a genuine doctor man.
01:14The other two are dirty liars who just in it to touch ladies' rude bits.
01:19You must watch all doctor touches and then decide which one is the real deal.
01:25Here we go. Doctor number one. He certainly looked the part.
01:30Is he the doctor in the house? Here he goes. Feeling now? Squeezing?
01:37Oh, very nice.
01:39But is that a bogus boob job?
01:42Next, please.
01:44Here, doctor man too. Looking good as well. Very clean and all that.
01:52Oh, I see. Are those healing hands or just for feeling rude bits? So difficult.
02:01How about doctor man three? He's showing hands as well. Proceed with your doctor duties, please.
02:09Checking floppy front bits very professionally. He's very thorough too. What do you think? Is he the one?
02:17Hmm. So tricky dicky decidings today. Let's have one more look at their techniques in slow motion.
02:25Is it Mr. Honk Honk A? The Squeezer Man B? Or Wobbly Block C?
02:32Place your bets now. Come on, come on. It's a medical mistake.
02:38Doctor, doctor. Everyone keeps ignoring me.
02:42Next, please.
02:44Betting ends.
02:47Okay. Time for dirty doctor revealings.
02:50If you said doctor man was number three...
02:54You saw one! Look! Amazing! It's Lofty Man! Remember him? He was in EastEnders!
03:03But if you thought doctor number one was the genuine one...
03:08You're even longer!
03:10My, oh, my! That's no doctor man! Look! It's Toby Ansysman!
03:15Here children peepee presenter man! You should be ashamed of yourself!
03:21So, if you thought doctor man was doctor two...
03:24You are a winner! Only, he worried his wife watching!
03:29So, Banzai hide his identity with Mr. Brian May from Queen!
03:35How's that, mister? You like that?
03:38Quick! What else we got?
03:44Still lots more gambling opportunities to come on Banzai!
03:48But first...
03:51Lady One Question!
03:54Lady One Question likes to say absolutely nothing to celebrity people for a long time.
04:01Last week, she managed to remain silent in the company of Star Trek Mr. Sulu Man for 46 seconds!
04:09Which was quite good, actually.
04:12Question is, how long you reckon Lady One Question can stay quiet for in the company of this man, Mr.
04:20Gene Simmons?
04:21He's the lead singer in American rock band called Kiss!
04:25How long can she be mean to Mr. Gene?
04:28Will it be...
04:29B...
04:300 to 30 seconds!
04:32B...
04:3331 to 60 seconds!
04:34Or C...
04:3561 seconds and over!
04:37Pressure bets now!
04:40So, who are Kiss Man?
04:42You know...
04:43They're crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy nights!
04:47Never heard of it!
04:50Betting ends!
04:52There, Kiss Man!
04:53Please unleash your one question!
04:56Could you tell me something about your recent project?
04:59Starts the clock!
05:01Well, let's see.
05:02God, there are so many.
05:04I'm in a band that wears more makeup and higher heels than your mommy.
05:08We're called Kiss.
05:12As we stand here talking about it, we're the number one American group gold record champions of all time.
05:18And Kiss is more than a band, we don't just make records, we have a new Greatest Hits coming out
05:21this month.
05:22We also do strange things like Kiss condoms.
05:26And Kiss...
05:27Gee, almost anything you can imagine, including Kiss cell phones.
05:31And anything.
05:32Anything to avoid working for a living.
05:34Hi, I'm sorry.
05:36What?
05:41Good?
05:42No?
05:46I guess we're done.
05:49Or not.
05:50Are we okay?
05:51Okay.
05:52Yeah.
05:54Okay, thank you.
05:55He going?
05:56He gone!
05:57Stop the clock!
05:58How long did he stay?
06:0158 seconds!
06:02If you say B, 31 to 60 seconds, then you are a winner!
06:08Wait!
06:10Wait!
06:10Wait!
06:11Wait!
06:11What's that?
06:12This lovely lady is Mrs. Lisa Goddard!
06:16A long time ago, she appeared on game shows such as Give Us A Clue, Celebrity Squares, and even Blankety
06:25Blank.
06:26Despite the passing years, she has managed not to age one day!
06:31How she managed that then?
06:33Simple!
06:34Goddard stays young by drinking the blood of young virgins.
06:39Quite handy, actually!
06:40Could you stop me?
06:41We can play?
06:49The Blood Let Bet!
06:51With genuine virgins!
06:53Rules of Blood Let Bet are simple.
06:56First, Goddard will connect two genuine young virgins to a blood collecting machine.
07:03The machine will then suck blood out of virgins and into two conveniently placed blood bags.
07:10The winner is the virgin whose bag contains the most blood.
07:15Understand?
07:16Good!
07:17Today's brave young virgins are...
07:19Number one, a dark-haired young lady called Jade.
07:23Version number two, is a blondie lady called Vicky.
07:27Question is, whose blood will flood into the bag the best?
07:31Who will it be?
07:32Genuine Virgin One or Genuine Virgin Two?
07:35Press your bets now!
07:38Come on!
07:40It's easy!
07:41With the blood flow flutter, who takes a lead?
07:44When it's time to bleed?
07:45Come on!
07:46Get your teeth in it!
07:49Betting ends!
07:51Okay!
07:52Time for Speed Bleed Blood Donation Dilemma to begin!
07:57Fight!
07:58Start bleedings, please!
08:02They're away!
08:04Blood is loose!
08:09Virgin Jade, quite literally take first blood!
08:16Miss Vicky!
08:17Need to hurry to catch up!
08:19Come on, little lady!
08:21Put your back in it!
08:26Seriously though, it looking a bit like one horse blood race out there today!
08:31When today doesn't really know!
08:34Big feelings out!
08:36She quite literally bleeding them dry!
08:38I'm all out of love!
08:41I'm so lost without you!
08:43Jade's blood is flowing like the clappers!
08:46Ha ha ha!
08:47I'm all out of love!
08:50Must be finishing blood donation soon!
08:53Vampire Goddard must stop this before it turns into a blood bath!
08:58Ha ha ha ha!
09:00Stop the clock!
09:02That's it!
09:04Mrs. Goddard, stop bleeding please!
09:07Vampire Goddard will now do the measuring!
09:11How much in Miss Vicky Bag then, Lisa?
09:14Ah!
09:15Disgusting!
09:16That's about 82 millimeters!
09:18But what has Miss Shea done in her bag?
09:22It's 192!
09:26Brilliant!
09:27If you said, hey!
09:29Virgin Changebird would throw the fastest!
09:32Then you are our winner!
09:34What is legal?
09:39Bonsai!
09:42Lady Princess Diana Lady!
09:45She was the queen of our hearts!
09:48Many thought she was gone!
09:50But now, she has returned!
09:52As...
09:53Diana!
09:54The Paranormal Plastic Doll Justice!
10:07A very tricky-dicky Diana Doll Decision!
10:12Rules of Diana Doll Decision very, very simple!
10:15From beyond the grave!
10:18Lady Princess Diana is able to answer simple questions of truth!
10:23First, she must be taken up into the sky in a hot air balloon!
10:28Next, she will be thrown out of the balloon!
10:31As she falls, her psychic parachute of truth will open!
10:35And she will land safely in one of two answer zones!
10:39Whichever zone Diana Doll land in, that is true answer!
10:45Aye!
10:46Okay!
10:47Time to put Diana Doll Lady to the desk!
10:50Mrs. Princess Diana Lady, tell me!
10:53That little Mr. Harry Potter from the film, has she done it proper yet?
10:59What you reckon?
11:00Has she got his magic wand out for the ladies yet?
11:04Look!
11:05She really thinking about it!
11:07What you reckon, eh?
11:08What you think Diana say?
11:10Will she say,
11:11Yes!
11:12Harry Potter doing it proper!
11:14Or...
11:15No!
11:15Harry not had it yet!
11:18Proper or not proper!
11:20Press your bets now!
11:23What's the goal to decide, eh?
11:25No need for a spell!
11:26Lady Di can tell!
11:28Never say die!
11:29Anna!
11:35Diana Lady, now in position!
11:38Yes and no zones!
11:39Clearly in position, too!
11:42Tension mounting!
11:44Okay!
11:44Here we go!
11:46Aye!
11:46Release, please, Diana, please!
11:48Aye!
11:49She away!
11:51Flying like the wind!
11:53There she goes!
11:54Diana Lady heading straight for no zone!
11:58Disco, no return all over it!
12:01Hang on a bit!
12:03Dog moving across now!
12:05It's...
12:05No!
12:06No!
12:06No!
12:06No!
12:07No!
12:08Yes!
12:09Aha!
12:10That's it!
12:11Unbelievable!
12:13For the front page!
12:16Harry Potter doing it proper!
12:18What a turn up for the books!
12:21Who'd have thought it?
12:22Aha!
12:23Ha-ha!
12:24Ha-ha!
12:25Ha-ha!
12:27And here more gambling opportunities still to come on Banzai!
12:33Banzai!
12:35Banzai!
12:37Press your bits now!
12:40Oh, no!
12:41Mr. Banzai referee is not well at all!
12:45That's so unfortunate for all gambling opportunities here today!
12:49Hold on a minute!
12:50Here's Mr. Cheeky Chappy!
12:52Pops!
12:53He got a gamble for us!
12:54He brought a book for him to read!
12:56That a bit boring, isn't it?
12:58Let's go bet on something else!
13:00W-w-w-wait a minute!
13:02Banzai!
13:03What's up?
13:04Oh, blimey!
13:05It's a cigarette!
13:07Ha-ha!
13:08That's so typical of the man!
13:11Hang on a minute!
13:12How we light it!
13:13There no smoking without fire!
13:15Ah, I see!
13:17It means we can now play!
13:19Grrrr!
13:22Grrrr!
13:22Grrrr!
13:24Grrrr!
13:26A super thick bed, thicky bed!
13:30With Mr. Captain Sensible!
13:34Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
13:37This man is Mr. Captain Sensible!
13:40He a punk pop star man who always wears a ridiculous hat!
13:45Today, he is visiting Banzai Hospital with these...
13:49Ten for one pound cigarette lighters!
13:52Hang on! That's so unsensible!
13:54They never work!
13:55That's why they only a quid!
13:57Exactly!
13:59The question is...
14:01How many lighters must be tried before the cigarette can be smoked?
14:05How long until a lighter is lit?
14:08Will it be...
14:10A. Under three lighters?
14:12B. Between three and five lighters?
14:15Or C. Six lighters and over?
14:18Press your bets now!
14:20We didn't start the fire!
14:22No way, mister!
14:23It was always burning!
14:25It's a war be turning!
14:26It's a simple fun frame of battle!
14:29B. Between ends!
14:31Wait!
14:32Okay! Mr. Sensible man!
14:35Please unleash your lighters!
14:38Lighter one!
14:40Will it?
14:41No!
14:43Banzai...
14:43The lighter was on!
14:45But they are nowhere to home!
14:46No!
14:47Number two!
14:49No!
14:51Banzai...
14:52What's sensible doing out there?
14:55Number three now!
14:56Strikeings, please!
14:58Oh, no!
15:00Banzai...
15:01That's so disappointing!
15:03Time for number four now!
15:05Is it?
15:06Yes! It's there!
15:09Fire in the hole!
15:11It's a four-time lucky smoking!
15:13He over the three and move!
15:16If you said B, that it would take between three and five attempts!
15:21You are our winner!
15:25Banzai!
15:27This pretty young lady called Miss Fatima Whitbread!
15:32Mrs. Whitebread was once world famous for throwing large sticks along the way!
15:38But these days, she much prefer to take it easy!
15:41That's why, when she wants to throw her sticks somewhere,
15:45She calls for a taxi driven by Mr. Cheeky Chappy!
15:50So now, it means we can play!
16:01Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
16:03A big lady, big stick bet!
16:06With taxis!
16:08Miss Fatima is given forty pence only to spend on taxi!
16:13She must jump into Cheeky Chappy's black cab and travel along together for as far as possible!
16:21Until taxi meter reaches forty pence mark!
16:24Question is, how far will her javelin taxi travel?
16:29What's the range of Fatima's small change?
16:32Will it be...
16:33A, zero to twenty meters!
16:36B, twenty-one to forty meters!
16:39C, forty-one to sixty meters!
16:42Or D, sixty-one to eighty meters!
16:45Press bet now!
16:47It's a wonderful Whitbread wager!
16:50He's only got forty pence, so what's your answer going to be?
16:54Hurry, hurry!
16:56Betting ends!
16:59Okay, time for javelin taxi transporting test, please!
17:04Fatima lady, on three!
17:06One, two, three!
17:09There she goes!
17:12Amazing run-up!
17:14Two openings now!
17:15Yes!
17:17They're off!
17:18It's a good start!
17:21Mr. Cheeky Chappy taking it easy!
17:24He's not going to win a perfectly good gamble with dangerous dribings!
17:28Not for sure!
17:30She passed twenty meters now!
17:32Meter hasn't even started yet!
17:34This could be a massive result here!
17:37Look at Mr. Chappy!
17:39He giving Whitbread the ride of her life out there today!
17:44Oh, look! Twenty beyond a meter now!
17:47She only got twenty pence left!
17:50So tense!
17:51Keep it up!
17:54Forty pence!
17:56Yes!
17:58It's all over!
17:59The javelin has landed!
18:02Hey! How far, no? How far she got?
18:06Sixty-four meters!
18:08That's amazing!
18:10If you said answer D, sixty-one to eighty meters, you hit the nail on the head!
18:22Oh! Who's this lady?
18:24This is funny lesbian lady, Mrs. Rona Cameron!
18:28Oh, yes! She's on the television!
18:31What's she doing here?
18:32Mrs. Cameron has just watched that last Banzai bed!
18:36Now we're asking her, as a genuine lady lover, how many marks out of ten will she give...
18:44Fatima with red?
18:45Four!
18:47Lovely!
18:49Question is, will she give her...
18:52A. Four marks and under?
18:55B. Between five and seven out of ten?
18:58Or C. Between eight and ten out of ten?
19:01Place your bets now!
19:03How fit you think Fatima is?
19:06Would you give Fatima one?
19:10Betting ends!
19:13Okay!
19:14Time for result revealings, please!
19:17Lesbian lady!
19:18Please tell us how sexy you think Mrs. Fatima Whitbread is!
19:24What the result!
19:26That's six point two!
19:28Is that it?
19:30That's all she get!
19:31Six point two!
19:33If you said,
19:35Fatima would score between five and seven, then you are a winner!
19:40Thank you Mrs. Kamaru!
19:42That was a great example to any youngsters watching at home!
19:47Need another bet!
19:54HANDAI!
19:55This man called himself Big Cliff Lazarenko!
20:00This man called himself Phil the Power Tailor!
20:04Both known only for throwing darts!
20:08These are toasters!
20:10They known only for the toasting of bread!
20:13Today, Banzai bring all together for a one-off contest we like to call...
20:28Men of arrows, move toast!
20:32Men of arrow, begin your toastings!
20:36Toast their way!
20:38Toasting has begun!
20:40Okay!
20:41Question here is simple!
20:43Both men are aiming to toast their bread the quickest!
20:46Who will draw first bread?
20:49Will it be number one, Big Cliff Man with his silver machine?
20:54Or number two, Phil the Power Man with his mighty white?
20:59Is it the hour of the power?
21:01Or will Mr. Cliff not give him a sniff?
21:04Is it Phil or Cliff?
21:06The big one or the bigger one?
21:08The silver one or the white one?
21:11Place bets now!
21:13This a difficult dart decision actually!
21:16But what have you got to lose?
21:18This a 50-50, A or B!
21:20How hard can that feel?
21:23Dating hands!
21:25Oh, look at the concentration out there!
21:29Already, a whole lot of toasting has been going on!
21:32Those toasters are really taking it to the limit!
21:36Remember, these men are professional, so do try this game at home!
21:41Look at Cliff Man!
21:42If this about effort, he'd already be the winner!
21:46Feel power now!
21:48Oh, yes! Ha ha!
21:49Let's just sit back and watch a master at his work!
21:53It's good!
21:57Ah ha!
21:59Wow!
22:02180!
22:06Power Man put back!
22:08If you backed it, then you'd trouble the toast tree!
22:12Well done, my son!
22:14Ha!
22:22Banzai!
22:24Next one on Banzai!
22:26The Force Bit Floating Flutter!
22:28Look! He got no arm!
22:31Oh, my! He got no leg!
22:35Question is, whose Force Bit can float the fastest?
22:39Order!
22:40Look! They doing it!
22:44Ha ha ha!
22:45Any more?
22:46The Star Trek Wet Pet!
22:48Which Trekkie Man falls on the jetty?
22:52Which one? Hey!
22:55Ha ha ha ha ha!
22:59Beam me up Scotty!
23:01Udiculous!
23:03Danzai!
23:07昨日の恋は忘れて 昨日のあの子は忘れて 踊り続けていたい夜なのさ
23:21月が砕け散っても 星が燃えて落ちても 踊り続けていたい夜なのさ
23:30はい!
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