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00:00Anzai!
00:04Play at all the fun.
00:06From a land where anything is truly possible, comes new gambling opportunities.
00:14Place your bets now, it's time to play Anzai!
00:24Anzai!
00:31Anzai!
00:35These three men all claim to be a proper doctor of animals with a certificate that says they can do
00:42many things to animals in the name of science.
00:44Such as putting their whole arm up the bottom of a cow!
00:51Don't worry, in the bank, this is a perfectly standard procedure.
00:56The problem is, one of them is a lying man. Not only is he not a vet, but he also
01:02has no arm.
01:03Hmm, this is what we call...
01:10A one-armed, deceitful Dr. Cow Conan-Doram.
01:15Vet bet is quite simple. Look closely at each man and cow, and see if you can spot the phony
01:22fellow from the real McCoys.
01:24Only when each man takes his arm out of cow's bottom, will the genuine one-armed vet impostor be exposed.
01:31So, can you tell the lying vet man with no arm?
01:35Could it be vet number one?
01:38His name is Etienne. He got a sexy French name and film-style good looks.
01:43He probably quite a hit with the ladies, even with his arm up a cow's bottom.
01:49Vet number two is called Danny. He looked like a proper farmer's lad, and very at home, next to the
01:56bottom of a cow.
01:56Lovely.
01:59Or could it be vet number three? This man's name is Michael. He looked like he knows what he's doing.
02:06In fact, he looked like he enjoying this. A cheeky rascal.
02:11So, which of these vets has no arm?
02:15Place your bets now!
02:18Time to bet, bet, bet, on the bet, bet, bet!
02:21Ha ha!
02:23Okay, betting ends!
02:27So, who is the lying vet man?
02:29If you say vet number three...
02:34Ooh, a stinky poo, eh?
02:38You're wrong!
02:41If you say vet number one, Etienne...
02:45Oh, arms deep inside the hard bottom, eh?
02:49You're also very wrong!
02:51So, must be liar is...
02:57Danny! Yes, one armed man is Danny!
03:01Oh! Ha ha!
03:03Mr. Danny, you should be ashamed of yourself!
03:06You are an armed bottom bandit, you!
03:15Still lots of gambling opportunities to come on Banzai!
03:19All right, but first...
03:30The Valerie Singleton sexy lady party snack selection!
03:36This is Valerie Singleton!
03:38She's famous for Blue Peter and the money program!
03:42Miss Valerie stands above five pretty ladies on a big bed!
03:47Each lady has a burning desire for one thing!
03:52A pickled onion!
03:55Miss Valerie will place pickled onion in the mouth of one nice lady!
04:00One taste of it drives them sexy crazy!
04:03And they start kissing and cuddling each other!
04:07All you have to do is follow the onion from mouth to mouth and pick which lady is sucking its
04:13hat in!
04:14Understand?
04:15Good!
04:17And so it is time!
04:19Quiet please!
04:20The ceremony is about to begin!
04:23Ah!
04:24And they are off!
04:26First lady kissing, second lady!
04:28Good kissing!
04:30Remember!
04:30Keep your eye on the onion, okay?
04:32Follow that onion!
04:34Do not be deceived by the pleasures of the flesh!
04:37Kiss! Kiss! More kissing!
04:38Oh!
04:39Ha ha!
04:40Outstanding!
04:41Oh!
04:42Blimey Cracky all righty!
04:44It is getting hot in here, or what?
04:46Oh boy!
04:47Ha!
04:47Which girl is prime onion suspect now?
04:50I thought it was red and white with the feathers, but now I'm not sure!
04:55Very tricky dicky, eh?
04:58Like an onion hunter, you must keep your eye on the pickled bowl!
05:02Must concentrate on the onion!
05:05Oh my!
05:06Ha ha!
05:07Yes!
05:08She nearly going for it!
05:09Whoa ho!
05:10Ha!
05:11These ladies must really like the taste of onion!
05:14They love it!
05:16Ha ha!
05:16Come on ladies!
05:17Light my fire!
05:18Nearly there!
05:19Nearly!
05:20Just a few seconds more!
05:22And a few more!
05:23And a few more to make sure!
05:26Ha!
05:27Oh no!
05:28Ha ha!
05:29It's all over!
05:31So, which lady's mouth is now home to the tasty little pickle?
05:36That lady there!
05:37Ha ha!
05:38Lovely!
05:38This lady here!
05:40Marvelous!
05:40That one!
05:41Outstanding!
05:42This one!
05:43Could be!
05:44Could be!
05:46Yes!
05:47Please!
05:48Tornack ya!
05:49Press your bets now!
05:50Come on!
05:51What you here for if you're not going to bet!
05:54Put the echelryu together and bet, bet, bet!
05:59Bettes!
05:59Betting ends!
06:01Time to discover which lady is the keeper of Miss Valerie's precious pickled onion
06:08Hi
06:14I don't believe it
06:16Grounding lady at the back
06:18She's ready to eat the pickled fries in her mouth
06:21Thank you Miss Valerie
06:23The next time you are organizing a pickled onion orgy
06:26Please do not hesitate to call
06:29Answer
06:33Mr. Shake Handsman 2
06:36Mr. Shake Handsman 2 also likes to shake hands with celebrity people for a long time
06:42Last time he shook hands with Frazier Man Kelsey Grammer for 40 seconds
06:48Can he improve on this mildly impressive stuff?
06:52Today he has another shaking mountain to climb
06:55Question is, how long will Mr. Shake Hands 2 shake hands with Funny Man Bill Murray, star of Ghostbusters 1
07:03and 2?
07:04Would it be A, 0 to 30 seconds, B, 31 to 60 seconds, C, 61 to 90 seconds, or D,
07:1491 to 120 seconds?
07:16Place your bets now! Just choose! No time to lose! Quick, quick, quick! Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters! Betting ends!
07:28Time for shakings to begin
07:31Here, Murray Man!
07:32Here, Murray Man!
07:33Murray-san, Banzai TV
07:34Stop the clock!
07:35Here away!
07:36I need to get good!
07:38Shake Handsman very excited to see Mr. Murray!
07:41And Mr. Murray very happy too!
07:43The most fun for me was to, uh, uh, just put too much food in my mouth.
07:48Do you know, do you like that feeling yourself?
07:50Oh, ho ho!
07:51You know what I mean, funny!
07:52Very funny joke, Mr. Murray!
07:54Oh, you have a lot of food in your mouth right now!
07:57But not too much, not too much!
07:58It looks fine, it looks fine!
08:00Ha ha!
08:00Good one, sir!
08:01On you!
08:02Let him do what he wants, Shake Handsman!
08:04Just hold on in there!
08:05The next project to be!
08:06Oh, I did a movie called, uh, The Royal Tenen Bombs with Wes Anderson...
08:10Film star man totally happy here!
08:12He enjoying the shakings, making no sign of pullage!
08:15Mr. Shake Handsman boxing by a lot of people!
08:19But that not affecting his performance!
08:21Good, good!
08:22Good form here!
08:23What is your favorite junk food?
08:26Oh, no!
08:27Who is he?
08:28Who is it?
08:29He talking to someone else?
08:31But still shaking!
08:33Mr. Shake Handsman's hand!
08:34Oh, ha ha!
08:36Oh, unprecedented shakings!
08:37I thought I'd see everything!
08:39But this is a real turnout for the books!
08:42Mr. Shake Handsman, not bothering asking anything!
08:45Any questions now?
08:46He know what he here for!
08:48And that, to shake his hand!
08:50Get shaking, Mr. Shake Handsman!
08:52Get a grip, big boy!
08:53I'm shaking, shaking, shaking!
08:56Unbelievable!
08:57He rewriting all shaking books!
08:59It's so easy!
09:01Hold on!
09:02Hold on!
09:02Hold on!
09:02It all over!
09:04No more shakings!
09:06How long though?
09:07How long o'clock?
09:0889 seconds!
09:10What a result!
09:11If you say, see, 61 to 90 seconds, you are a winner!
09:16Thank you, Mr. Shake Handsman too!
09:18You really bought home some shaking bacon!
09:21You are the man!
09:27Banzai!
09:29The Backwoods Chinese Detective!
09:32The Backwoods Detective is only detective with power to reverse the laws of time!
09:37Mr. and Mrs. Badman, watch out!
09:40Because crime costs!
09:42And right here is where you start paying!
09:45Here he come!
09:47The Backwoods Chinese Detective!
09:49This handsome gentleman is acting legend, Mr. Oliver Tobias!
09:54This old woman is Jean!
09:56She would love to do it proper with Mr. Oliver!
09:59But he laugh in her old face!
10:03So, naughty old lady soaked him with a bottle of cheap booze!
10:08Question the need asking!
10:09What booze did she use on Mr. Tobias?
10:12Was it...
10:13A, a cheap alcohol drink called pub crawl!
10:16A, apparently very rare!
10:19Or B, an exotic white drink called Malibu!
10:22O, make mine a double, fella!
10:25Or is it...
10:26C, dark and mysterious taboo!
10:28As drunk by as yet unfound African tribes in jungle!
10:32What make Mr. Oliver wet?
10:33Time to bet!
10:34Bet!
10:35Bet!
10:35Place bets now!
10:37That naughty old lady is going down!
10:40But not how she wanted to!
10:42Ha!
10:42Ha!
10:43Ha!
10:43Ha!
10:43Ha!
10:44Ha!
10:44Ha!
10:45Ha!
10:45Ha!
10:46Ha!
10:46Ha!
10:47Ha!
10:47Ha!
10:47Ha!
10:47Ha!
10:48Ha!
10:49Ha!
10:49Ha!
10:49Ha!
11:03Ha!
11:04already pouring. Oh, taboo! She has been caught in the act with a full bottle of taboo. Case
11:12closed. The backwards Chinese detective is here to make this world a safer place for
11:18all our children. Even the ones you probably don't know about. You dirty old sly fox, you.
11:28Many more gambling opportunities still to come on Banzai, including...
11:34Lady One Question, The Speed Soul Struggle, and The Wheel of Misfortune.
11:44End of part one.
11:58A neuro-romantic dance dilemma!
12:02Three men dressed in animal costumes, dancing to Fade to Gray by Visage.
12:08This may be an unusual thing for two of these funny dancing animals to do, but not for one of
12:13them.
12:14Because he is genuine Visage man, Mr. Steve Strange. So question is, can you spot which one is the real
12:22Mr. Strange?
12:23Could it be number one?
12:26Is he genuine 80's new romantic man? Hard to tell, isn't he? He very good. What a mover!
12:34Or is it number two?
12:36He look like he got two new romantic left feet.
12:40He's rubbish!
12:42Finally, number three.
12:45Not bad, eh? Great mover there. Could be.
12:49So, who you think is the genuine Fade to Gray Man, Mr. Steve Strange?
12:56Is it Furry Cat Man? Meow!
13:00Furry Eagle Man!
13:02Oh, watch out, ladies!
13:04Or Furry Bulldog Man?
13:07Yeah, sexy boy. Oh.
13:09Nice best man!
13:11One man on a lonely platform?
13:14It's not new romantic rocket science. It's simple.
13:17Come on, come on!
13:19Bending hands!
13:21And so, discovery is inevitable.
13:26New romantic dancing man, where are you hiding?
13:31Unbelievable!
13:33Mr. Strange Man, hello!
13:35Thank you, Mr. Strange.
13:37Tell me, do you do children's parties?
13:44No, seriously.
13:45Do ya?
13:46Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
13:50Bonzo!
13:59The Wheel of Misfortune.
14:02Two brave gentlemen.
14:04Six cans of hair mousse.
14:06Five of them have salty nozzles and dispense nothing but thin air.
14:11One can, however, is still able to dispense large amounts of foaming white hair product.
14:17Each man must take it in turns to choose a cap.
14:21Then, poke nozzles into opponent's open nose tip.
14:24And...
14:25Fire!
14:26Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
14:29Man number one called Andy.
14:31He admires the hair of Mr. Melvin Bragg.
14:36Man number two called Ali.
14:39He enjoys the hair of the Beach Boys.
14:41Woo hoo hoo!
14:43So, who will be left with egg on their face and moose up their nose?
14:48Will it be Andy or Ali?
14:51Press your bets now!
14:52Just pick one.
14:53What are you?
14:54A man or a moose?
14:56Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
14:57These men are putting their noses on the line for you here.
15:00So, pick a nose!
15:01Any nose!
15:03Betting ends!
15:05Gentlemen, prepare!
15:07For it is time to take your chances on the Wheel of Misfortune!
15:14Mr. Andy's first full pick!
15:18He going straight for Green Zone can.
15:21Will this cause moosey misery for Mr. Ali?
15:28He aims...
15:29And...
15:30No!
15:30Ok!
15:32He picked a dead one!
15:34Ha ha ha!
15:38Now it's the turn of Mr. Ali!
15:42He go for Blue Zone can.
15:46Tension mounting.
15:49Insertion procedure.
15:53Aiming.
15:55Go, go, go!
15:57No!
15:58It don't work!
15:59No moose today, mister!
16:02Four cans left now.
16:04That's a one in four chance of Misfortune.
16:07Which zone, Mr. Andy?
16:09Oh!
16:10The Red Zone!
16:12Red for danger!
16:15Are you confident?
16:18Brace yourself, Mr. Ali!
16:20Pull the trigger!
16:22No way, Jose!
16:24It's a moosey misfire!
16:26Mr. Ali, ok!
16:27Ha ha ha!
16:29Three cans left!
16:32Ali's turn now.
16:34Orange!
16:35Very interesting!
16:37Could this be the one?
16:40Very tense!
16:43Insertion, please!
16:45Andy, nervous!
16:47Fire, Daddy!
16:48Oi!
16:49Ha ha ha!
16:50Ha ha ha!
16:51Yes!
16:52Yes!
16:52The moose is in moose!
16:54It's all over!
16:56All over!
16:57Mr. Andy's face!
16:58Ha ha ha ha!
17:01Let's see again in slow motion.
17:05Fantastic!
17:07What a result!
17:08If you said Mr. Andy's nose would be the one to end up in moose misery, you are a winner!
17:15Ha ha ha ha!
17:16What else we got?
17:18Ha ha ha!
17:19Ha ha ha ha!
17:23Lady One Question!
17:26Lady One Question likes to say absolutely nothing to celebrity people for a long time.
17:33Last week, she managed to say absolutely nothing to Mrs. June Whitfield for 73 seconds before she finally make her
17:42excuses and leave.
17:44Question is, after one question, how long can Lady One Question remain silent for in the company of Mr. James
17:52Bond, Roger Moorman?
17:54How long before Mr. Bond give up and go?
17:57Will it be?
17:58A. 10 to 20 seconds
18:00B. 21 to 30 seconds
18:03C. 31 to 40 seconds
18:05Or D. 41 to 50 seconds
18:09Place bets now!
18:11Wow!
18:11His name is Bo!
18:12Roger Mo!
18:14Her name is Question!
18:15Lady One Question!
18:17Quick!
18:17Not much time left!
18:19Nothing ends!
18:21Okay!
18:22Here we go!
18:23I'm sorry, excuse me.
18:24I'm from Channel 4.
18:25Can I have some words, please?
18:27I'm sorry.
18:27I'm from Channel 4.
18:28Can I have some words, please?
18:30Oh, from Channel 4!
18:30Star clock!
18:32Well, I'm obviously going up in the world because I've been with 1 and 2 and 3.
18:38Channel 4 is terrific.
18:41What do you want to know?
18:42You want to know why I'm happy to be here today?
18:45Yes, I am.
18:46I'm terribly happy to be here.
18:49And, very honored, the variety club, of which I've been a Barker for many years, have decided to give me
18:55a luncheon.
18:56Because I'm a very cheap person and I don't have to pay the bill today.
19:03Bye.
19:04Oh, look!
19:05He's going!
19:06Going!
19:07Go!
19:08Stop the clock!
19:09It's all over!
19:11Amazing one questioning.
19:13How long?
19:140038 seconds.
19:16And you shall see.
19:17You are a winner!
19:19Thank you, Mr. Moore!
19:20You may have a license to kill, but it was no match for a shield of silence.
19:24Ha, ha, ha, ha!
19:39The Speed Soul Struggle
19:42This Father Joseph, he a Catholic priest
19:46This Harsher Rema, he a Jewish rabbi
19:50This Lou Ferrigno, he used to be the Incredible Hulk
19:56Banzai have brought them together to do battle against each other for the ultimate prize
20:01The soul of this small baby boy called Danny
20:06The contest for this epic encounter is based on hit action film Speed
20:11Instead of a bus, our sole contenders must keep their exercise bikes above 20 miles per hour for as long
20:19as possible
20:19If the bike goes below 20, they are out
20:23So, who will win the soul of little baby Danny?
20:27Will it be
20:27A. Father Joseph
20:29B. Rabbi Herschel
20:32O. C. Lou Ferrigno
20:35Place your pets now
20:38Have faith in yourself
20:40What you waiting for?
20:42A burning bush or something?
20:43Quick, quick!
20:45Fettering hands
20:48Ok, gentlemen, you have 5 seconds to reach 20 miles per hour
20:535, 4, 3, 2, 1
20:56The game has begun
20:58Remember, whoever drops below 20 will be eliminated straight away
21:04So far, all three looking very comfortable
21:09Probably, most people would say that our baby's soul has Lou Ferrigno's name written all over it
21:16Only time will tell
21:19Priest, paddling close to danger zone
21:21Rabbi looking good
21:23Hulk strong
21:24But hold your horses, what's this?
21:27Father Joseph in big trouble
21:28Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
21:30He out of the game
21:32This is one birthday for the Catholics
21:34The Pope is not going to be a happy man tonight
21:38Now, we'll get between the Hulk and the Rabbi
21:40Rabbi looking strong and steady
21:42Hulk's weighing quite a lot
21:43Maybe he's not such a superhero at all
21:46Come on, Green Man
21:47Come on, Green Man
21:49Oh, no, Hulk is in trouble
21:50Hulk is in trouble
21:52Come on
21:52Come on, Hulk
21:53Come on
21:54Oh, yes
21:54He's come back
21:55He's come back
21:56Good man, Hulk
21:58Oh, oh, oh
21:59Both in trouble
22:00Oh, yes
22:00So exciting
22:02Rabbi going into dangerous zone
22:05Hulk back in danger, too
22:06Oh, no, still
22:07Also, still
22:08Oh, come on
22:09Come on
22:09Yes, yes
22:10Oh, so close
22:11Oh, no
22:13It all over
22:15Lava has failed
22:17So, Hulk is winner
22:19Hoi
22:21Outstanding superhero cycling
22:25Congratulations, Incredible Hulk
22:27You win the soul of little baby Danny.
22:30Do it at what you will. Enjoy.
22:32Maybe you could swap it for a caravan or something, huh?
22:35Oh, Hulk got the baby Danny. Yeah!
22:40Coochie, coochie, coochie.
22:41Now you're owned by the Hulk.
22:50Banzai!
22:54That's all from Banzai this week.
22:57Till next time.
22:59Banzai!昨日の恋は忘れて昨日のあの子は忘れて踊り続けていたい夜なのさ月が砕け散っても星が止めて落ちても踊り続けていたい夜なのさ
23:25昨日の恋は忘れて昨日のあの子は忘れて踊り続けていたい夜なのさ月が砕け散っても星が止めて落ちても踊り続けていたい夜なのさ
23:26俺かいっぱい
23:32foundationsなんて明あと風の恋風
23:33'風の恋風の恋
23:34neon時のくら風の恋
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