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00:00Anzai!
00:04Play at home fun.
00:06From a land where anything is truly possible, comes new gambling opportunities.
00:14Place your bets now, it's time to play Anzai!
00:23Anzai!
00:33A totally unnecessary football special!
00:41One time!
00:44This man calls himself Mr. Jim Rosenthal.
00:48Hello, I'm Jim Rosenthal.
00:51This man calls himself Mr. Gerald Sinslet.
00:54Hello, I'm Gerald Sinslet.
00:57Both men like to talk about football on the telly.
01:00Which is why Anzai has asked them here together today.
01:05To play a special fixture we call...
01:19A cunning commentary breath bet!
01:23Rules of cunning commentary breath bet, very simple.
01:27Both men will be shown a picture of a very famous football man on command.
01:33They must then say his name for as long as possible with no stopping at all.
01:38Okay then, it is time to see whose name they will be saying tonight.
01:45Oh look, it's Mr. Karno!
01:48He from team called Arsenal!
01:51So, Mr. Jim and Mr. Gerald will soon have to say Karno for as long as possible.
01:57Question is, who will keep going for the longest?
02:00Sister or Northern Time?
02:02Mr. Gerald or Mr. Jim?
02:04Mr. Gerald or Mr. Jim?
02:05Him or him?
02:07Please bet now!
02:12Come on, come on!
02:14There are no extra time here!
02:17Bidding end!
02:20Okay, time for kickoff!
02:24Time to let the canoeing commence!
02:27Donor!
02:28Pay away!
02:29Come on!
02:43No, he's gone!
02:45Stop!
02:46But look at Mr. Jim!
02:48He is still canoeing!
02:55What's he doing?
02:56Oh my!
02:57He is still canoeing!
03:02Yes!
03:03Fight!
03:04It's all over!
03:07Mr. Rodentum is the winner!
03:10If you back it, congratulations on your classy commentary choosing!
03:22Still lots more gambling opportunities to come on Banzai!
03:25But first!
03:28Lady One Question!
03:30Lady One Question likes to say absolutely nothing to celebrity people for a long time!
03:36Last time, she managed to say absolutely nothing to Mr. Simon Cowell for 77 seconds!
03:44Question is, after only one question, how long can Lady One Question remain silent in the company of Sven Goran
03:52Eriksson's other half, Mrs. Nancy, before she walk away and disappear from view?
03:57So, how long will Mrs. Nancy's men hang around for?
04:01Will it be A, 0 to 30 seconds, B, 31 to 60 seconds, C, 61 to 90 seconds, or D,
04:1091 seconds and over?
04:13Place bets now!
04:15Come on!
04:16Come on!
04:16How long you fancy Mrs. Nancy?
04:18How long before she shoot?
04:20How long before she shoot?
04:21Betting ends!
04:24Okay!
04:25Okay!
04:25Lady One Question in position!
04:27Yeah!
04:28Lady One Question!
04:30Unleash your One Question!
04:32What do you think of Japan being a host of World Cup?
04:34Start with a crook!
04:36I will!
04:37I think it's a great contest!
04:39It's the first thing we, the World Cup has been playing in the Far East, so it's a great opportunity
04:45for the rest of the world to see, to know better Japan, to know better the Japanese people, and I
04:52hope it's for you it's a great opportunity.
04:54For us, it's a little bit too far, but it's been assured we'll be worth it for England, especially, I
05:01hope so.
05:03Yeah!
05:06No, no, we have to...
05:07No, no, we have to...
05:07We're still on?
05:08Yes.
05:09No.
05:12No?
05:13No?
05:27No?
05:31No?
05:33Maybe! Yes! She had enough! She gone! Stop the clock!
05:38Oh! 61 seconds!
05:41So, if you said C, 61 seconds to 90 seconds, you're a winner!
05:47Thank you, Lady. One question.
05:49Maybe now, Mr. Sven considers you for his team.
05:53You fancy that, eh? Playing for England.
05:56You get free bath with Mr. David Seaman after.
06:00The ponytail man.
06:02Totally stockers!
06:04You fancy that?
06:08Banzo!
06:11Oh, look! It's Mr. Cheeky Chappy!
06:14What's she got for us?
06:24Mr. Cheeky Chappy presents It's a Celebrity Stars in My Eyes!
06:29Mr. Cheeky Chappy genuinely loves to hear music sung by ladies.
06:36That's why Mr. Chappy has invented his own special family entertainment show,
06:41where hairy gentlemen transform into his favorite singing ladies.
06:47Forever!
06:49Today is the turn of this man, Mr. Barry Fry!
06:54He famous for being a big shot football manager man.
06:59He a big macho tough guy.
07:02But today, he asks Cheeky to transform him from a football fella into famous lady fella who will sing nice
07:11songs for all the family.
07:13Okay, begin man-lady transformation process, please.
07:19Where is he going?
07:21Very smoky, isn't he?
07:23I hope he okay in there.
07:26Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
07:30Look at that!
07:32What is it?
07:33Look at the state of it!
07:36Banzai has transformed Mr. Barry Fry into a famous sea lady.
07:41Question is...
07:42Is it...
07:43A. Mrs. Shirley Bassey
07:45B. Mrs. Diana Ross
07:48Or C. Mr. Whitney Houston
07:51A. Rubbish Bassey
07:53B. Rubbish Ross
07:54Or C. Totally Rubbish Houston Lady
07:58Please mess now!
08:00Which lady Barry man tried to be?
08:02Hurry up!
08:03Before his wife finds out!
08:05She don't understand, you see!
08:06Here singing lady clapping the big fat man body!
08:10It begins!
08:14Okay!
08:15It is now time for confusing conclusion to this gender bender mystery.
08:21So, tell us Mr. Cheeky Chappy
08:22Which lady Mr. Barry tried to be tonight?
08:27Shirley Bassey!
08:29Are you sure?
08:32The minute you walk in the joint
08:34I can see you wearing a distinction
08:38A real big spender
08:40Have you ever heard the lights of it Mr?
08:43Good looking, so refined
08:43So wouldn't you like to know what's going on
08:46Quick! What else we got?
08:47So let me get right to the point
08:52Hi!
08:58This man called Stan
09:01Stan Collymore man
09:02He a big football man
09:05Who has played for many, many clubs
09:07But today, he plays for Banzai
09:10In a game we can only call an amazing escalator tester question.
09:28Mr. Stan made big money in football.
09:31Now he is investing that cash big time in a new sport he calls Escalator Racing.
09:39You taking the Mickey?
09:42Rules of racing, very, very simple.
09:45Mr. Collymore will step onto two escalators at the same time.
09:50They will carry him upwards.
09:52As he rides them like a normal everyday member of the public,
09:56Winner is the escalator which delivers him to the top in the quickest time.
10:02What do you think? Which one looks the speediest staircase? A or B?
10:07A or B? B or A?
10:10What you say? Which is the fastest A?
10:13Come on, come on, come on!
10:15This one or that?
10:17Collymore genuinely playing with himself for your entertainment.
10:21At least have a bet on it.
10:24Betting finished!
10:27Okay, here we go.
10:29Mr. Stan man, are you ready?
10:31You look like it.
10:34On marks!
10:35Get set!
10:36Go!
10:37He away!
10:39And look at that!
10:41It's totally neck and neck!
10:43He looking very composed.
10:45I'm not showing any signs of tension whatsoever.
10:48I'm no escalator, it's not.
10:50This one is going to go right down to the wire.
10:53All right, here they come in the last stretch.
10:55It's so close!
10:58Who is it?
10:59Who?
10:59Stan A or Stan B?
11:01Almost there!
11:02Surely!
11:03Ho ho!
11:05Escalator A is the winner!
11:07God bless the queen!
11:10Oh, it's delightful!
11:12You can't teach us, are you?
11:15If you say A was going to be a winner, then you're 100% correct!
11:19Well done, my son!
11:25Tenty more gambling opportunities still to come on Banzai!
11:30It's a game of two halves!
11:34Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
11:36Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
11:38Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
11:41Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
11:43Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
11:44Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
11:46Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
11:49Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
11:53A Banzai football special!
11:57Oh, Banzai football special!
12:00Banzai!
12:03This man is Mr. Rob Curlings,
12:07newsletter, reporter, sports correspondent, and quizmaster.
12:12But today, Banzai can expose him as something else.
12:17Ha ha ha!
12:19Curlings! The Baby Racer!
12:31A really riveting race with genuine babies!
12:38Rules of baby racing very simple.
12:41Two babies are dressed up like little jockeys and caged up in a small chamber.
12:47Both babies will then attempt to crawl to the finish line quicker than their opponent.
12:53Winner is the baby that is the first to cross the line. Understand?
13:00These women have brought their children here to race like dogs.
13:05This lady called Amanda. Nice name, lady.
13:09She has a little baby boy. She calls Mr. Alex.
13:14This another blondie lady, she called Mandy.
13:18Today she also raising her baby, but he called Mr. James.
13:24Question is, who will be first past the baby post?
13:28Which one will be the Little King Kiddy Crawler?
13:31Or will it be the Alex Man or Little James?
13:34This one or that one? Him or him?
13:37Place your picks now!
13:40Come on! It is easy! Just choose no time to lose!
13:44It's a one on one! 50-50! Night and day!
13:48Emily and Ivory! French and soldiers!
13:50Spitting the end!
13:53Okay! It is time! Mr. Curling! Are you ready?
13:57Oi!
13:57He can't wait to get his baby show on the road! Can he?
14:02Let the games begin!
14:04Oi!
14:04Stay away!
14:07Looks like James! He quick off the baby blocks!
14:11But what Alex doing? He just crawled it!
14:14And oh my! Oh! That's better! He away now!
14:19But what's James doing?
14:21He's just sitting there!
14:23What you doing, Mr. James? You playing catch-up now, fella!
14:26Less sitting and more crawling, you stupid baby!
14:30Come on! Do it! Just crawl! Crawl! Crawl!
14:36Look at the speed of Mr. Alex! You rubbish, little man!
14:42Come on! Just a bit more! Keep it up! You're almost home!
14:46Yes! Outstanding baby crawling from Mr. Alex!
14:52If you said Alex would win this tricky toddler test, then congratulations!
14:59Mr. Curling, thank you for sharing your baby hobby with the nation.
15:03Come on!
15:05On me head, son!
15:10This man's name is Mr. Neville Southall!
15:14He's famous for once being the best football goalkeeper in the whole wide world!
15:19But that's not important, huh?
15:21Today, Banzai asking him a very important and highly personal question!
15:34A sporty answer phone capacity concern!
15:39Oh, look! Mr. Neville-Man taking his dog for a walk!
15:44It's a lovely day for it, actually!
15:49Oh, no!
15:52Mr. Neville-Man's phone is ringing!
15:55Hi, this is Neville Southall, Ocean International goalkeeper.
15:58Can you please leave your name and number and I'll get back to you.
16:00Thank you!
16:01I wonder who it is!
16:03Hello, Neville!
16:04David Vine here!
16:05You may remember me from programs such as Ski Sunday, World Snooker Championship, and the Superstars.
16:12It's Mr. David Vine!
16:17Mr. Vine has agreed to slowly count numbers into the answer machine of Mr. Southall.
16:24The question is, what number will he get to before the machine cuts him off?
16:30Will it be A, anything under 20, B, 21 to 30, C, 31 to 40, or D, 41 and over?
16:41Place your bets now!
16:44It's a cunning capacity question!
16:46How many numbers stored before machine at the board?
16:49Come on, come on!
16:51Don't have to root!
16:52Letting the ends!
16:54Okay!
16:55Mr. Neville, back home now!
16:56Please release your David Vine messages!
17:01You have one message.
17:04Message one day.
17:06Hello, Neville.
17:07David Vine here.
17:08Oh, listen!
17:08You may remember me from programs such as Ski Sunday, World Snooker Championship, and the Superstars.
17:15Mr. Vine Man, get on with it!
17:161, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19,
17:3619, 19, 19, 20, 20.
17:3821, 22, 23, 24.
17:43Hmm.
17:43Getting quite boring actually!
17:45Perhaps, if we'd played with a pretty lady, it might have been a bit better to look at!
17:50What?
17:51Like a ruderman or Smiley?!
17:53Exactly!
17:53Mr. Southall, not exactly oil paintings, is it?
18:02Apparently, we are getting phone calls saying this is rubbish.
18:07It's quite obvious that they're running out of ideas.
18:11Ah, yes.
18:17Praise the Lord!
18:19It's all over!
18:21Ah, you locked up an answer phone half-century!
18:25If you said D, 41 and over, you'll write off the money, mister!
18:31End of messages.
18:34Who's this man?
18:37What's he doing?
18:38What you whistling, that fella?
18:41What's your problem, eh?
18:42Shh! Quiet!
18:44It's top football referee man, Mr. Paul Durkin!
18:47He look a bit dodgy!
18:48Mr. Durkin has been keeping a close eye on Banzai's timings.
18:53The question is, how long will he stay his left on Banzai's program today?
18:58What's he got on his clock?
19:00Is it A, one minute?
19:02B, two minutes?
19:04C, three minutes?
19:06D, three and a half minutes?
19:09Or E, four minutes?
19:12Let's bet now!
19:13Hurry up!
19:14I'm not on your side!
19:16This is difficult to drop in dilemma!
19:18Blow your whistle, ref!
19:20Betting the end!
19:24Okay, here come the man in black!
19:26How long we got left?
19:28Here he goes!
19:32That's amazing!
19:35If you said D, you've played an absolute grinder here today!
19:39We've got three and a half minutes left to play!
19:41Twenty time for more gambling opportunities!
19:47Goal!
19:53Look, who it is!
19:55Mr. Bob Wilson-Man!
19:57This is a real turn-up for the books!
19:59Everyone know, Wilson-Man is an expert in football television presentation!
20:04But what a lot of people do not know is, he an expert in something else!
20:09What's that?
20:10Lady haircut!
20:12That's totally unexpected!
20:14So, we ask him to judge a game we call...
20:30A full-time haircut analysis investigation!
20:35Rules are quite simple, really!
20:37Three pretty ladies have come to the hairdressers to get latest hairdos done!
20:41Mr. Bob-Man will look at all three haircuts when they are finished!
20:46And choose what he think is the very best!
20:50Remember, it is opinion that count!
20:53Understand?
20:54First lady called Anna!
20:57Today, she has gone for...
20:59Unusual blue style of haircut!
21:02Number two lady is Miss Crank!
21:05Today, she has gone for a...
21:07Striking purpley look!
21:09Final one is Miss Danielle!
21:12She has turned her hair...
21:14Pink!
21:16So, question is...
21:18At the end of the day, after 90 haircut minutes, which one will Mr. Bob-Man pick?
21:24Which haircut tickles for poor fancy, eh?
21:26Will it be A, blue hair runner?
21:30B, purple, clear?
21:32Or C, pink Lady Danielle?
21:35Blue, purple, or pink?
21:36This, this, or that one?
21:38Pressure bets now!
21:40Come on, it's easy peasy, level squeezy!
21:43Which one he pick?
21:44Everyone given, 110% out there!
21:47Ha!
21:50But in the end!
21:53Okay, time for haircut gamble conclusion!
21:57Three really modern, spectacular styles, but I have to go for haircut B, because I love the subtlety of the
22:05color and the cut itself.
22:07And on an already very pretty face, I think it just provides panache.
22:14If you said haircut B would be his choice, congratulations!
22:21What's that?
22:25On fire!
22:30That's all from Super Banzai Soccer Special Show!
22:34Next time on Banzai, food shutters for all the family to enjoy, including...
22:40A cow milk milkshake mystery!
22:42Which shake the moo-moo takes, eh?
22:46Ah!
22:48He actually drinking his own milkshakes!
22:51You're like an animal!
22:54Make me sick!
22:57And, come in 60 seconds with Mr. Rick Waller!
23:01That's it, fella!
23:03Must eat all chicken nuggets!
23:05Delicious!
23:07Big bloke actually, eh?
23:09Mmm!
23:10Ah!
23:26It's okay!
23:27It's okay!
23:32It's okay!
23:35It's okay!
23:39They've all got pretty faces.
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