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00:00Anzai!
00:04Play at home fun.
00:06From a land where anything is truly possible, comes new gambling opportunities.
00:14Place your bets now, it's time to play Anzai!
00:23Anzai!
00:31Funzai!
00:33Place your bets now!
00:42The dirty old grandma gamble.
00:47Five lovely old ladies, four of them have not been intimate with a gentleman for some time.
00:54One old lady, however, still go like the clappers.
00:58Ho ho ho ho ho!
01:00She a thorny pensioner who like to be pictured doing it proper.
01:05Oh, I say!
01:07Question is, can you spot the top shelf senior citizen?
01:11Is it lady number one?
01:14She a grey haired grandma called Paula.
01:16She got proper granny hair, but does she know how to suck more than eggs?
01:21Oh, natron!
01:23Could it be number two?
01:25She called Nita.
01:26Does she go to bed with more than cup of cocoa?
01:29Eh? Eh?
01:30Nudge, nudge, wink, wink!
01:32Ha ha ha ha ha!
01:33What about old lady number three, Vicky?
01:36She may have a face like a sore bottom, but would you pay good money to watch her do it
01:42proper?
01:43Oh!
01:44Number four is Nancy.
01:46She may not have her own teeth, but maybe that's a bonus in her line of work.
01:51Ha ha ha ha ha!
01:53Finally, number five, called Jean.
01:56Would you like to do it granny style with her?
01:59So, which one is the genuine dirty filthy old lady?
02:03Huh? Huh? That one? This one or the other?
02:06Press your bets now!
02:08Pick a pensioner, any pensioner.
02:10Maybe she'll get better with age, like an old cheese or something, I don't know.
02:15Nothing ends.
02:17Time to lay old lady cards on table.
02:20Which one is the genuine dirty filthy old lady?
02:24If you said number one was the saucy star,
02:28You wrong!
02:29She's just a normal old lady.
02:32What you thinking of, eh?
02:33If you said number five was the dirty one,
02:38You wrong too!
02:39Are you blind?
02:40Look at her!
02:41But if you picked pensioner number four...
02:47Oh no!
02:49What's he doing?
02:50Call the police!
02:52If you're interested, here her video!
02:54Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
02:56Banzai, apologize for any offence this gamble may have caused.
03:00This just not right!
03:01What else we got?
03:03I crack!
03:07Still lots of gambling opportunities to come on Banzai!
03:11But first...
03:15Mr. Shake Handsman 2!
03:18Mr. Shake Handsman 2 also liked to shake hands of celebrity people for a long time.
03:26Last time, he showed impressive shaking skills by shaking Ghostbuster man Bill Murray for 89 seconds.
03:35But the question is, how long will Mr. Shake Handsman 2 shake hands with pretty-lipped lady Angelina Jolie for?
03:43Will it be?
03:44A.
03:450 to 20 seconds.
03:47B.
03:4821 to 40 seconds.
03:50C.
03:5141 to 60 seconds.
03:53D.
03:5361 to 80 seconds.
03:55Or E.
03:5681 to 100 seconds.
03:59Special bets now!
04:01What will it be?
04:02Choose from A to E!
04:04Come on, come on, come on!
04:06Easy, easy, let's get busy!
04:09Betting ends!
04:11Okay then!
04:12He's ready!
04:14Here she come!
04:15Start the clock!
04:16Shake it, shake it!
04:18No, no!
04:19Stop!
04:20What happened?
04:21Oh no, this is rubbish!
04:22You're wasting our time, fat boy!
04:24Wait, wait, wait!
04:26Restart the clock!
04:27Oh my god!
04:28This has never happened before!
04:30It's almost over before shaking began!
04:32Time for calm.
04:33Must focus on shakings in hand.
04:36Maybe good, maybe bad.
04:37Trying to understand love and life.
04:42Oh!
04:43What a lovely lady!
04:45Shake hands man talking to camera again!
04:48Remember!
04:48This is his very own shaking gimmick!
04:52Who's that she with?
04:53She with Mr. Husband Billy Bob Thornton!
04:56She holding him and shaking hands with Mr. Shake hands man!
04:59Who?
05:00He's still talking rubbish now!
05:02Still, they happy!
05:04Happy?
05:04Oh!
05:05What a lovely lady!
05:07Ha ha!
05:10Slow shaking!
05:11Keep it up big boy!
05:12Shake it!
05:13Shake it!
05:13Give it a really good shakings!
05:15We need to also work together for a film.
05:20He talking to man now!
05:21Mr. Billy Bob!
05:23Good tactics!
05:24Talk to one, shake the other!
05:26Don't bow too much!
05:28No, no!
05:28Less bowing!
05:29More shaking!
05:30Come on, come on!
05:31Get the grip and keep it!
05:32Keep it!
05:32Oh no!
05:33It's all over!
05:3667 seconds!
05:38If you said D 61 to 80 seconds, congratulations!
05:43You really know your shaking onions!
05:45Thank you Mr. Shake hands man too!
05:47I thought you might be rubbish actually!
05:49But so far, you not been too bad?
05:52Hey!
05:53Keep up the good shaking fat boy!
05:55Banzai!
05:58Three men of dreams!
06:00Each wishing they were really Mr. Freddie Mercury from Queen!
06:04Together, they are the worst collection of Freddie men ever assembled!
06:09Today, they must do battle in a contest we call...
06:22The fantastic Freddie man's letter!
06:26Rules of Mercury man gamble simple!
06:29Each Freddie must hang on to a traditional football crossbar for as long as possible, using only their hands!
06:37If a Freddie falls, he loses!
06:40Last Freddie hanging will be declared winner!
06:44Understand?
06:45Good!
06:46Freddie number one is tribute to the Bohemian Rhapsody period of Mr. Mercury!
06:51It's a very subtle tribute, admittedly!
06:53It pathetic!
06:55Freddie number two likes to call himself Live Aid Freddie!
06:59Feed the world!
07:00Feed yourself like it!
07:02Ha ha ha ha ha!
07:04Number three is a big leather Freddie!
07:07He look like he in the late night chat line advert!
07:09Which lets boys meet other boys!
07:12Oh!
07:12Question is, which Freddie going to be able to hang on crossbar for longest time?
07:18Who will it be?
07:19A. Bohemian!
07:21B. Fatty!
07:22Or C. Leather!
07:24A. Pathetic!
07:26Ha ha ha!
07:26B. Rubbish!
07:27Ha ha ha!
07:28C. Useless!
07:29Ha ha ha ha!
07:30Fresh bets now!
07:32Come on!
07:33What's your favorite Freddie?
07:35I know you're under pressure!
07:36Quick as a flush!
07:38Ha ha ha!
07:40Bidding ends!
07:43Ready, Freddies?
07:44One, two, three!
07:47Chair removals, please!
07:49And they are off!
07:52Three Freddies blowing in the wind!
07:55There's quite an occasion!
07:57As it is the first time an event like this has taken place anywhere in the world!
08:02Apparently, Player May is wishing them all good luck today!
08:06That's so typical of them, huh?
08:12No sign of any Freddie droppings yet!
08:15Unless I am very much mistaken!
08:17Oh no!
08:19I am very much mistaken because, bismillah, had already let go!
08:24Ha ha!
08:25It's a two-thirty race now!
08:29Nothing happening?
08:31It neck and neck!
08:35Nothing happening?
08:37This could go on for quite some time!
08:40Nothing happening at all!
08:43This really is a great day out for all the family!
08:47Ha ha!
08:49Outstanding hangings!
08:51Do you think they are their real arms?
08:53Ha ha!
08:55Falling soon?
08:57Could be?
08:59When?
09:02Must be?
09:04Soon!
09:06Please!
09:08Dropings!
09:09Decreter Freddie droppings!
09:12It's all over!
09:16Bohemian Freddie!
09:17You are the champion!
09:19What a tribute to the great man you are!
09:22Oh!
09:23Look at the state of him!
09:25Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
09:31Banzai!
09:33This famous snooker man, Mr. Willy Thorpe!
09:37He was the beaten finalist at the UK Championships in 1985!
09:42Today, he has agreed to take part in his very own special banzai bet!
09:47We call...
09:54The Wheres Willy Willy Wazer!
09:56The Wheres Willy Willy Wazer!
09:58The Wheres Willy Wazer!
09:58The Wheres Willy Wazer is a very simple bet!
09:59Here are four identical Willy Beans!
10:02One of them has got Willy!
10:04Oh, ha!
10:05Look here he is!
10:07Hello Mr. V!
10:08Question is, when he goes inside, you must keep your eye on his Willy Willy Bin, because all
10:14four will move around your screen very quickly!
10:17When they come to stop, you must spot the bin at Willy Inn!
10:21Understand?
10:22Good!
10:23Beginning Willy Willy Shufflings!
10:26Remember!
10:26Keep your eye on the Willy Bin!
10:28Follow him!
10:29Follow him!
10:30Follow him!
10:30Where did he go?
10:32Ha ha ha!
10:32How tricky move!
10:33I hope he not get trouble sickness!
10:36Where's Willy now?
10:38Spinning!
10:39Attarring!
10:40More!
10:40Little more!
10:41So!
10:42Quick!
10:42Oh!
10:43He was getting pretty dizzy!
10:45Willy has stopped!
10:47Question is, which bin you think Mr. Willy Thorn in?
10:51Is it A, B, C, or D?
10:54Where a man called Willy!
10:56Face your bets now!
10:58Just pick a bin?
10:59Don't be snook a loopy!
11:01Ha ha ha!
11:02Get to the front of the queue!
11:04Ha ha ha!
11:04Shut up!
11:05Okay then!
11:07Betting's in!
11:09Now is the moment of ultimate truth!
11:13Tension mounting!
11:16Okay, Mr. Willy!
11:17Show yourself, please!
11:21Tremendous!
11:22He back where he started!
11:24What a result!
11:25Well played, Mr. Willy!
11:27Excellent Willy tactics!
11:29If you choose A, you are big time winner, Charlie!
11:33Thank you, Mr. Willy Thorpe!
11:35You played a blinder here today!
11:37More bets, please!
11:42Progress leads to knowledge!
11:45Knowledge leads to truth!
11:48The search for truth leads to...
11:56An animal scientific experiment!
12:01This funny man called Duncan Norvell!
12:04He an all-round entertainer who known for only one thing!
12:08Saying his catchphrase!
12:10Go on, chase me!
12:11Ha ha ha ha!
12:12Very good, funny, yes!
12:15So, the animal scientists have taken up Mr. Duncan's challenge!
12:18Chasing him today will be this police attack dog!
12:22Oh, nasty!
12:25Rules of animal experiment very easy to understand!
12:29Mr. Duncan will be given a five-second head start before the doggy is set free!
12:36Ha ha!
12:37Question is, how long will it be until the doggy sinks his teeth into him?
12:42Will it be...
12:44A, between five and ten seconds!
12:47B, between eleven and fifteen seconds!
12:51Or...
12:52C, between sixteen and twenty seconds!
12:56Flash your bets now!
12:58Come on!
12:59It has to be one of the three, you silly biddies!
13:01What's your betting on?
13:03Too late!
13:04Betting ends!
13:06Time for animal scientific experiment to begin!
13:09Ready?
13:10Steady?
13:11Go, go, go, go, go!
13:13Funny man!
13:14Run like a wind!
13:15Quick on your sticks!
13:16Here away!
13:17Here come dog!
13:18Oh, so quick!
13:19Hungry dog, so quick!
13:21Oh, chase me!
13:22Go chase me!
13:23Ha ha ha!
13:24Look at the sheer speed of bullet!
13:26It's all over!
13:28Ha ha ha!
13:28Dog sink teeth into chase me man in six seconds!
13:32Look at those chompings!
13:34Brilliant biting skills from highly trained police attack dog!
13:39If you said A, then congratulations!
13:42You really know your eggs from your bacon!
13:45But a word of advice.
13:47Perhaps next time you should choose your catchphrase a little more carefully.
13:51What about nice to see you to see you nice?
13:54Or maybe even shut the door?
13:56Well, I don't know.
13:58It's just a suggestion.
14:00I'm quick!
14:04Many more gambling opportunities still to come on Banzai!
14:08Including...
14:09The Mike Gutting Glass Smash Bash Proposal!
14:13The Minicar Monarch Mystery!
14:17And...
14:17The Magical News Bottom Bet!
14:20End of part one!
14:33The New Romantic Dance Dilemma!
14:37Three men dressed in animal costumes dancing to Fade to Gray by Visage!
14:42This may be an unusual thing for two of these funny dancing animals to do!
14:47But not for one of them!
14:49Because he is Genuine Visage Man, Mr. Steve Strange!
14:54So question is, can you spot which one is the real Mr. Strange?
14:58Eh?
14:59Could it be number one?
15:00Is he Genuine 80's New Romantic Man?
15:04Hard to tell any!
15:05He very good!
15:07What a mover!
15:08Mmm!
15:09Or is it number two?
15:11He look like he got two New Romantic left feet!
15:16He's rubbish!
15:17Finally, number three!
15:20Mmm!
15:20Not bad, eh?
15:21Oh!
15:22Great mover there!
15:24Could be!
15:24So, who you think is the genuine Fade to Gray Man, Mr. Steve Strange?
15:31Is it Furry Cat Man?
15:33Meow!
15:35Furry Eagle Man!
15:37Oh!
15:37Watch out ladies!
15:39Or Furry Bulldog Man!
15:42Yeah!
15:43Sexy boy!
15:45Place best now!
15:46One man on a lonely platform!
15:49It's not New Romantic rocket science!
15:51It's simple!
15:52Come on!
15:53Come on!
15:54Betting ends!
15:56And so, discovery is inevitable!
16:01You Romantic Dancing Man!
16:02Where are you hiding?
16:06Unbelievable!
16:08Mr. Strange Man!
16:09Hello!
16:11Thank you, Mr. Strange!
16:13Tell me, do you do children's parties?
16:19No, seriously!
16:20Do you?
16:21Hahahaha!
16:23Ha!
16:25Ha!
16:25Ha!
16:25Ha!
16:26Ha!
16:28Ha!
16:28Ha!
16:28Ha!
16:29Ha!
16:30Ha!
16:30Ha!
16:34The Wheel of Misfortune!
16:38Two brave gentlemen!
16:39Six cans of hair mousse!
16:41Five of them have faulty nozzles and dispense nothing but thin air.
16:46One can, however, is still able to dispense large amounts of foaming white hair product.
16:53Each man must take it in turns to choose a can,
16:56then poke nozzles into opponent's open nose tip and fire!
17:04Man number one called Andy.
17:07He admires the hair of Mr. Melvin Bragg.
17:11Man number two called Ali.
17:14He enjoys the hair of the beachy boys.
17:18So, who will be left with egg on their face and moose up their nose?
17:23Will it be Andy or Ali?
17:26Press your bets now!
17:28Just pick one.
17:29What are you?
17:29A man or a moose?
17:32These men are putting their noses on the line for you here.
17:35So, pick a nose.
17:36Any nose?
17:38Betting ends!
17:40Gentlemen, prepare!
17:42For it is time to take your chances on the wheel of misfortune!
17:49Mr. Andy is fast for pick!
17:53He going straight for green zone can.
17:56Will this cause moosey misery for Mr. Ali?
18:03He aims, and...
18:05No!
18:06Okay!
18:08He picked a dead one!
18:09Ha ha ha!
18:13Now it's the turn of Mr. Ali.
18:17He go for blue zone cam.
18:21Tension mounting.
18:24Tension mounting.
18:24Insertion procedure.
18:28Aiming.
18:30Go, go, go!
18:31Ha ha ha!
18:33No!
18:33It no work!
18:35No moose today, mister!
18:37Four cans left now.
18:39That's a one in four chance of misfortune.
18:42Which zone, Mr. Andy?
18:44Oh, the red zone!
18:47Red for danger!
18:50Are you confident?
18:53Brace yourself, Mr. Ali!
18:55Pull the trigger!
18:57Ha ha ha!
18:58No way, Jose!
18:59It's a moosey misfire!
19:01Mr. Ali, okay!
19:03Ha ha ha!
19:04Three cans left.
19:07Ali's turn now.
19:09Orange!
19:11Very interesting.
19:12Could this be the one?
19:15Very tense.
19:18Insertion, please.
19:20Andy nervous.
19:22Fire, Danny!
19:24Ha ha ha!
19:26Yes!
19:27Yes!
19:28The moose is loose!
19:29It's all over!
19:31All over!
19:32Mr. Andy's face!
19:34Ha ha ha!
19:36Let's see again in slow motion.
19:40Fantastic!
19:42What a result!
19:43If you said Mr. Andy's nose would be the one to end up in moose misery, you are a winner!
19:50Ha ha ha!
19:51What else we got?
19:53Ha ha!
19:58Lady One Question.
20:01Lady One Question likes to say absolutely nothing to celebrity people for a long time.
20:08Last week, she managed to say absolutely nothing to Mrs. June Whitfield for 73 seconds before she finally make her
20:17excuses and leave.
20:19Question is, after one question, how long can Lady One Question remain silent for in the company of Mr. James
20:27Bond, Roger Mooreman?
20:29How long before Mr. Bond give up and go?
20:32Will it be A, 10 to 20 seconds, B, 21 to 30 seconds, C, 31 to 40 seconds, or D,
20:4241 to 50 seconds?
20:44Place bets now!
20:46His name's Bo, Roger Moore.
20:49Her name is Question, Lady One Question.
20:52Quick!
20:52Not much time left!
20:54Betting ends.
20:57Okay, here we go!
20:58I'm sorry, excuse me, I'm from Channel 4, can I have some words, please?
21:02I'm sorry?
21:03I'm from Channel 4, can I have some words, please?
21:05Oh, from Channel 4!
21:05Start clock!
21:06Uh, well, I'm obviously going up in the world because I've been with 1 and 2 and 3, but Channel
21:134 is terrific, thank you.
21:16What do you want to know? You want to know why I'm happy to be here today?
21:20Yes, I am. I'm terribly happy to be here.
21:24And very honoured, the variety club, of which I've been a barker for many years, have decided to give me
21:30a luncheon.
21:31Because I'm a very cheap person and I don't have to pay the bill today.
21:38Bye.
21:39Oh, look! He's going! Going! Go!
21:43Stop the clock! It's all over!
21:46Amazing one questioning. How long?
21:500038 seconds. And you shall see.
21:52You are a winner!
21:54Thank you, Mr. Moore.
21:55You may have a license to kill, but it was no match for a shield of silence.
22:00Ha ha ha ha!
22:15The Speed Soul Struggle!
22:19This Father Joseph, he a Catholic priest.
22:22This Harshal Rema, he a Jewish rabbi.
22:26This Lou Ferrigno, he used to be the Incredible Hulk.
22:31Banzai have brought them together to do battle against each other for the ultimate prize.
22:37The sword of this small baby boy called Danny.
22:42The contest for this epic encounter is based on hit action film Speed.
22:47Instead of a bus, our sole contenders must keep their exercise bikes above 20 miles per hour for as long
22:54as possible.
22:55If the bike goes below 20, they are out.
22:58So, who will win the sword of a little baby Danny?
23:02Will it be...
23:03A. Father Joseph.
23:05B. Rabbi Herschel.
23:07O. C. Lou Ferrigno.
23:11Press your bets now!
23:13Have faith in yourself!
23:15What you waiting for?
23:17A burning bush or something?
23:19Quick! Quick!
23:20Bittering hands!
23:23Okay, gentlemen.
23:25You have five seconds to reach 20 miles per hour.
23:28Five, four, three, two, one.
23:32The game has begun.
23:34Remember, whoever drops below 20 will be eliminated straight away.
23:39A. So far, all three looking very comfortable.
23:44Probably, most people would say that our baby's sword has Lou Ferrigno's name written all over it.
23:51Only time will tell.
23:54Priest, paddling close to danger zone.
23:57Rabbi looking good.
23:59I look strong.
24:00But hold your horses.
24:01What's this?
24:02Father Joseph in big trouble.
24:04Oh, no!
24:06He out of the game!
24:07This is one birthday for the Catholics.
24:10The Pope is not going to be a happy man tonight.
24:13Now, let's between the Hulk and the Rabbi.
24:16Rabbi looking strong and steady.
24:18Hulk's weighing quite a lot.
24:19Maybe he's not such a superhero at all.
24:21Come on, Green Man.
24:23Come on, Green Man.
24:24Oh, no!
24:25Hulk is in trouble.
24:26Hulk is in trouble.
24:27Come on.
24:28Come on, Hulk.
24:28Come on.
24:29Oh, yes!
24:30He's come back.
24:31He's come back.
24:32Good man, Hulk.
24:33Oh, both in trouble.
24:35Oh, yes!
24:36So exciting.
24:38Rabbi gone into danger zone.
24:40Hulk, back in danger too.
24:42Oh, both tired.
24:43Both tired.
24:43Oh, come on.
24:44Come on.
24:45Yes, yes.
24:46Oh, so close.
24:47Oh, no!
24:49It's all over.
24:51Rabbi failed.
24:52So, Hulk is winner.
24:56Outstanding superhero cycling.
25:00Congratulations, Incredible Hulk.
25:02You win the soul of little baby Danny.
25:05Do it at what you will.
25:07Enjoy.
25:07Maybe you could swap it for a caravan or something, huh?
25:11Oh, Hulk got the baby Danny.
25:13Yeah!
25:15Coochie, coochie, coochie.
25:17Now you're owned by the Hulk.
25:19Ha-ha!
25:29That's all from Banzai this week.
25:32Till next time.
25:33Banzai.
26:01Banzai.
26:03Banzai.
26:04Puzzah!
26:05Puzzooo!
26:06Wow!
26:07Nope!
26:08Boast!
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