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00:00Anzai!
00:04Play at home fun.
00:06From a land where anything is truly possible, comes new gambling opportunities.
00:14Place your bets now, it's time to play Anzai!
00:23Anzai!
00:31Bunzai!
00:33Place your bets now!
00:43The chair of Mischief Conundrum.
00:47Two fat men with only two thoughts in mind.
00:51One, when do they eat?
00:53Two, which of these five comfortable chairs can they rest their heavy load on?
00:58Game is quite simple.
01:00Each generously proportioned gentleman must take it in turn to sit on a seat of their choice.
01:06Only one problem.
01:08One chair is very weak and will collapse if a big fat man sits on it.
01:13So, question is, which one will end up on their bottom?
01:17Will it be fat man number one?
01:20He weigh eighteen stone and enjoys going to the theater.
01:24Or could it be fat man number two?
01:26He weigh twenty stone and enjoys meat.
01:30Fat man one or fat man two?
01:32Press your bets now!
01:34Go, go, go!
01:36Put your money where your mouth is.
01:38Pick a fat man.
01:39Any fat man has a man.
01:41Oh-ho!
01:43Betting ends!
01:48First to pick is Mr. Andrew.
01:52He examines chairs very carefully.
01:55Very tricky-dicky, eh?
01:57He chose number four.
02:00Okay, time to take your seat, please.
02:02Oh-ho!
02:06Tension mounting?
02:08Oh-ho!
02:09He okay!
02:10Oh-ho!
02:12Do-do!
02:13Time for fat man number two, Mr. Mike!
02:16Oh-ho!
02:16Cool, blimey!
02:17Ha!
02:17What a big belly he got!
02:19But that's not important.
02:21What he go for, eh?
02:25Hurry up, mister!
02:26We ain't got all day, you know!
02:28Oh-ho!
02:29He chose number three!
02:31Very interesting!
02:33Isn't it?
02:34Oh-ho!
02:35Hai!
02:36Do-do!
02:36Time for moment of truth.
02:39Hmm!
02:39Can he make it?
02:41Yes!
02:42He also okay!
02:43Good chair choosing!
02:45Two down, three to go!
02:47Oh-ho!
02:47Hai!
02:48Do-do!
02:49Mr. Andrew once again chair choosing!
02:52Patient double mounting!
02:54Hmm!
02:54Very difficult decision in it, Mr. Fat Man!
02:57Very tricky, eh?
02:59He has chosen chair number five.
03:01He has made his choice, now he has to sit on it!
03:04Oh!
03:05Hai!
03:06Do-do!
03:06Time for his second sitting!
03:09Oh!
03:10Hold your hoses!
03:11Oh!
03:12Oh-oh!
03:13Oh no!
03:14Ah!
03:14Fat Man fall on the floor!
03:16Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
03:18Ah!
03:18Let's look at it again in slow motion!
03:21Look, Mr. Andrew is smiling like he going to win!
03:25Magnetic!
03:26It'll all go horribly wrong for the Fat Man!
03:28Maybe he'll walk straight past the cake shop next time!
03:32Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
03:38Still lots of gambling opportunities to come on Banzai!
03:42But first...
03:44Lady one question!
03:46Lady one question like to say absolutely nothing to celebrity people for long time!
03:53Last week, she managed to say absolutely nothing to Mr. Jonathan Dimbleby for 42 seconds before he finally make his
04:01excuses and leave!
04:03Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
04:04The question is...
04:05After one question, how long can Lady one question remain silent for in the company of celebrity cooking lady Mrs.
04:12Nigella Lawson?
04:13Will it be...
04:15A...
04:150 to 15 seconds?
04:17B...
04:1816 to 30 seconds?
04:20C...
04:2131 to 45 seconds?
04:23D...
04:2346 to 60 seconds?
04:26Or...
04:26E...
04:2761 to 180 seconds?
04:29Treasure bits now!
04:31She very pretty lady actually!
04:34Ha-ha!
04:34Hey!
04:35Good looking!
04:36What you got cooking, eh?
04:38Ha-ha-ha!
04:39Present ends!
04:41Lady one question!
04:42Hi!
04:42I'm from Chandler 4th!
04:43Unleash your one question!
04:45Could you tell me what's going on tonight?
04:47Starts the clock!
04:47This is a dinner, and this is a general event, an end of a pen, you know, this...
04:51The English pen.
04:53So I'm sure you know about...
04:56I'll wait till this is not going through, I presume.
05:04Alright, do you want me to do it now?
05:06You okay? You rolling?
05:11Um...
05:11Listen, I'm gonna go in now, it's okay.
05:16What did you want? I don't understand what the problem is.
05:21Do you want me... I thought the... the... the siren was going, there's no point talking with the siren.
05:26Are you okay with that?
05:30Okay.
05:33She going! She going!
05:35Stop the clock!
05:37I will do... 49 seconds exactly!
05:41Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
05:42If you say D, 46 to 60 seconds, you are the winner!
05:48Unbelievable one questioning!
05:50Sublime! Quite sublime!
05:53Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
05:56Banzai?
06:03Gone in 60 seconds!
06:06This lovely blondie lady is called Summer.
06:09What a stupid name!
06:11That, because she's an American.
06:14All she really wants in life is lots of money.
06:17In front of Miss Summer are fifty one dollar notes.
06:22Banzai will let her keep as much hard cash as she can fit into her pig mouth in 60 seconds.
06:28So, how much will she munch in a minute?
06:31Will it be A, zero to twenty dollars?
06:34B, twenty-one to thirty-five dollars?
06:37Or C, thirty-six to fifty dollars?
06:41Press your bets now!
06:43Go on, bet now!
06:45Put your money where her mouth is!
06:47How much cash can she stash?
06:49A, B, or C, fixed it!
06:52Bending ends!
06:54Time for money munching to begin!
06:57Starts the clock!
06:59Cheer away!
07:00Scooping up the cash like a money eating monster!
07:03Ah!
07:04Already got six, seven, eight in her mouth!
07:07Amazing darabina stuffings!
07:09She's so professional!
07:12Oh, yes, yes!
07:14Very good indeed!
07:15Good picnic!
07:16Big head!
07:18Match, match, match!
07:19You greedy lady, you!
07:21Oh, yes, yes!
07:23How much in there?
07:24Twelve, thirteen!
07:25Oh, unlucky for some!
07:27Not Summer!
07:28She making this game look easy!
07:30Still stuffing more in!
07:31Fifteen, sixteen!
07:33Come on, Summer!
07:34Keep on shopping it in!
07:36Seventeen!
07:36Woo-ho!
07:37It looks pretty full in there!
07:39How much cash can she stash?
07:41Can she deposit more cash in mind?
07:43Yes!
07:45Eighteen!
07:46Oh, yes!
07:46Yes!
07:47Very good indeed!
07:49Nineteen!
07:50Hurry up, Summer!
07:50Time almost run out!
07:52More stuffing!
07:53Twenty!
07:54Come on, Summer!
07:55Quick, quick, quick!
07:56Twenty-one!
07:57Quick, six!
07:59It's all over!
08:01Twenty-one!
08:03Very impressive money munching from a girl called Summer!
08:06She used her mouth like a great big wallet!
08:10If you said B, twenty-one to thirty-five dollars, you are a winner!
08:15Miss Summer, you may keep those twenty-one dollars as a form of soggy reward!
08:21Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
08:25Bonsai!
08:32The window of wonder-watching razor.
08:36There's Mr. Cheeky Chappy.
08:38He's saying goodbye to Mrs. Cheeky Chappy.
08:41She's off to stay at her sister's for the night.
08:44What's he up to?
08:45He in some bushes with some binoculars.
08:49He looking up?
08:51Blimey, it's a nurse's home.
08:55He hoping to see young lady nurses get undressed or something.
08:58Oh, I see.
09:01The question Mr. Cheeky Chappy is asking is,
09:04as the young ladies get ready for bed,
09:06which window will Cheeky Chappy see a nudie naked nurse in first?
09:11Will it be window A, B, C or D?
09:14Okay, what do you think?
09:15Press your bed now.
09:17Come on, it's easy.
09:19Pick a lady window. Any lady window.
09:21Oh, come on, be quick.
09:23Are you ready? Are you steady?
09:27Clicking ends.
09:29Okay, time for surgical undressing soon, I think.
09:34Which window Cheeky Chappy going to look at the past?
09:37It must be.
09:39Where you going?
09:40Ho, ho, come back.
09:42Cheeky Chappy has spotted Lady A, and she in her towel.
09:47Oh, this is beautiful.
09:49Oh, nice lady.
09:50Mmm, ma, ma, ma.
09:52Back to nurse Dina.
09:53Oh, natural.
09:55Ha, ha.
09:56But wait.
09:57Oh, no.
09:58She shutting up shop.
09:59If you back her seat, you'll rock.
10:02More looking sprees.
10:03Nurse A, still in good form.
10:05Oh, could be pottering Mrs. Harry Potter.
10:07Yes.
10:09Three ladies.
10:10Still in contention, though.
10:11Who it gonna be, eh?
10:13Looking.
10:14It's your mountain.
10:15Concentrate.
10:16Mmm.
10:17Lady B window.
10:19What's the opposite, eh?
10:20Is she?
10:21But wait.
10:22Miss C, oh, no.
10:24She closed her curtain.
10:26Is she out of the game?
10:28Wow.
10:29It's a genuine two horse horse race here.
10:31Keep looking, mister.
10:33Mmm, he's thinking.
10:34He's choosing.
10:35He's thinking.
10:36Very good.
10:37Very good.
10:38Yes.
10:38No.
10:39See the other.
10:41Wait.
10:42Wait.
10:43Yes.
10:44Ha, ha.
10:45It's all over.
10:48Unfailings.
10:49Ha, ha, ha, ha.
10:52Outstanding.
10:53What an eye-opener.
10:55Ha, ha.
10:55Excellent noodle nicings.
10:58Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
10:59Thank you, Cheeky Chappy.
11:01Once again, your cheeky ways have provided us
11:04with some good old-fashioned family entertainment.
11:10Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
11:14Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
11:18Many more gambling opportunities still to come on Banzai,
11:23including...
11:24The Man of Speed, Airport Castle of Torment.
11:28Men of God, Tangs of Fire.
11:31And...
11:32The Man Dog Stick Question.
11:35And which one...
11:37Us?
11:42The Man Dog Stick.
11:43The Man of Dead.
11:43...
11:48The Man of Dead.
11:50The Man of Dead.
11:51But the Man of Dead.
11:55The Man of Dead.
11:58The Man of Dead.
12:01And the Man of Dead.
12:05And which one...
12:07All in a row, all hoping to be crowned queen at this year's Banzai beauty pageant.
12:14Unfortunately, one of these lovely young lady beauty queens is an imposter.
12:19They're a little fella.
12:21Question is, can you sort the boy out from the girls?
12:26Could it be number one?
12:29Is this little blondie lady a trainee transvestite?
12:33What about number two?
12:35Could she be the junior gender bender?
12:40Here, number three.
12:42Is she really a little lady boy?
12:47Number four.
12:49Could it be that she one of them?
12:51How to tell him?
12:53Finally, number five.
12:56Is this little lady a little laddie?
12:59So, which young lady is not what she seems?
13:02Who is the little man, eh?
13:04Very difficult decision, isn't it?
13:07Press your bets now.
13:09Who do you think it's going to be?
13:11Pick a pretty lady.
13:13Don't be shy.
13:14What you go for?
13:15Come on.
13:16Betting ends.
13:19So, who is the cross-blessing kitty?
13:22Who is the real lady boy?
13:24If you said number one...
13:27You, wrong!
13:28You're mistaken!
13:30She's a very pretty little lady.
13:33If you said number five...
13:35You, wrong girl!
13:37Oh, ha, ha!
13:38You make even bigger mistakes!
13:40What you thinking of, eh?
13:42But if you said number three...
13:45You, the man!
13:48He's the real tiny transvestite.
13:52Well done, my son.
13:53Don't worry.
13:55It's just a phase you're going through.
13:58Banzai!
14:00This is a man of speed...
14:02...who called himself Mr. Ewan Thomas.
14:06This is an ordinary airport luggage carousel.
14:09Today, Banzai has brought them together...
14:13...for a world-exclusive gamble we call...
14:20The man of speed airport carousel of torment!
14:25Mr. Ewan has often been timed...
14:27...running around a big athletic track.
14:29That's so boring!
14:31Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
14:33Question is...
14:35How long will it take him...
14:37...to complete a full circuit...
14:39...of this airport carousel?
14:40Not running around it...
14:42...but sitting on it!
14:43Ooh! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
14:45Will it be...
14:46A. 20 to 30 seconds?
14:48B. 31 to 40 seconds?
14:51C. 41 to 50 seconds?
14:53Or D. 51 to 60 seconds?
14:56Place bets now!
14:58We are the starter's orders here...
15:00...so don't be slow on the mark!
15:02This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity here!
15:05Live the dream!
15:08...and end!
15:10B. 31 to 40 minutes!
15:11Mr. Ewan, are you ready?
15:12Are you steady?
15:13Go!
15:14Goal!
15:17Good start from Mr. Thomas!
15:19Strong sitting position!
15:21But caution!
15:22Always caution!
15:24Oh!
15:25He take his first corner so well!
15:28So smooth!
15:31Look at the man!
15:33He going flat out!
15:34He simply cannot give any more.
15:36Tricky second corner coming now.
15:41Yes, expertly taken.
15:43Strong. Oh, very strong.
15:45Come on, you are. You can do it.
15:48Think of Steve Orbeck, Steve Crum, Steve Davis, Steve McQueen.
15:54Do it for Jess Capes.
15:55They are winners and so are you, my son.
15:58Push, push. Here, there. So close.
16:01Coming, coming.
16:02Dipping. Stop the clock.
16:06What time o'clock? 48 seconds.
16:09If you say, see, 41 to 50 seconds, you are a winner.
16:14Congratulations, Mr. Thomas Man.
16:17That's a new British record.
16:20Quietly, my camera.
16:25Bonsoi.
16:27One pot of very hot tea.
16:29Two very thirsty vickers.
16:32Alone, they are nothing.
16:34But together, they make for an exciting challenge we call...
16:48Men of God, tongues of fire.
16:52This is Vicar Man Michael.
16:55His favorite Jesus is Robert Powell.
16:58Vicar number two is called Ian.
17:01He enjoy car plank and the smell of cheap perfume.
17:05Like all vickers, they like to drink tea.
17:10Marvelous.
17:10That tea is 88 degrees centigrade hot.
17:14Ooh-hoo.
17:15Question is, who can drink one whole cup of super hot tea the quickest?
17:20Who the quicker vicar, eh?
17:22Reverend Michael or Reverend Ian.
17:24Him or him.
17:25Place vets now.
17:28Last orders at the bar.
17:30Drink up.
17:31Ain't you got no homes to go?
17:33Too late.
17:34Bedding ends.
17:36Time for hot tea pourings to begin.
17:40The moment has come for the vicars to do ultimate battle.
17:44For those of you about to drink, we sunfut you.
17:48Oh!
17:50Oh!
17:51Hi!
17:51Don't go!
17:52They are off!
17:54First sippies.
17:58Both vickers will feel extreme tongue punishment for sure.
18:03This hurting vicar bad!
18:08Both reverends attacking cops with great courage.
18:12Whose strategy will be victorious?
18:15Who will triumph in this ultimate test?
18:18So exciting!
18:20If this doesn't get people back into church, then nothing will.
18:25This could go on for quite some time.
18:27This really is a great day out for all the family!
18:31Ha-ha!
18:33But no!
18:34Mr. Michael, so strong now!
18:36He's truly amazing!
18:37Glug, glug, glug!
18:39Vicar man here just looking at tea now!
18:42Come on, you stupid vicar!
18:44Get it down your neck!
18:45Reverend Michael going for final burst!
18:49The fires of hell are not as hot as his tea!
18:52But he don't care!
18:53He feel no pain!
18:55Reverend Ian can only watch!
18:58Here he goes!
18:59Lusty gathering all the way home!
19:02Is it?
19:03I wanna love you in the same way!
19:04All of us!
19:05Yes!
19:06Yes!
19:06Yes!
19:07Please!
19:09Outstanding!
19:11Vicar man, Michael, you are a winner!
19:14God will be so proud of you!
19:16And maybe give you a promotion or a Christmas bonus or something?
19:20I don't know!
19:21It's just a suggestion!
19:24Oi!
19:25Party!
19:27Mr. Shake Hands Man 2!
19:31Mr. Shake Hands Man 2 also likes to shake hands with celebrity people for a long time!
19:39Last time, he shake hands with pretty Jennifer Love Hewitt lady for an outstanding 97 seconds!
19:45But today is another day at the shaking office!
19:49The question is, how long can he shake hands with John Corrine's sister Jackie for?
19:56You know, she's the one who writes rubbish books!
19:59Ha ha ha!
20:00Will it be...
20:01A. 0 to 30 seconds
20:03B. 31 to 60 seconds
20:06C. 61 to 90 seconds
20:08Or D. 91 to 120 seconds
20:12Take your bets now!
20:14What will it be?
20:15Choose from A to E!
20:17It's going to be one of them!
20:19Ha ha!
20:19Oh!
20:20It's a complete waste of time!
20:23Betting ends!
20:25Okay!
20:26Heel ready and waiting!
20:28Here come Jackie ready!
20:30Start the clock!
20:32Mr. Shake Hands Man!
20:33Totally in charge!
20:36But she's not happy!
20:37Look at the freezer!
20:38Hello!
20:39Good evening!
20:40No, no!
20:41Hold on!
20:42Don't let her go!
20:43It's all over!
20:46Pathetic!
20:47Twelve seconds!
20:49Rubbish!
20:50That's so embarrassing!
20:52That's worst ever!
20:53What went wrong?
20:55The only consolation is that if you said A. 0 to 30 seconds, you are a winner!
21:01Mr. Fat Shaky Hands Man 2!
21:04Have some pride in yourself, man!
21:06You are a disgrace!
21:16The man-dog-stick question!
21:19This man, called Todd Bridges, he was once famous for playing the not-very-funny brother
21:24Willis in different strokes!
21:26This Mojo, he's a dog!
21:28He's not very funny either!
21:31Apart from not being very funny, they are also similar because there's one thing that
21:36really turns them both on!
21:37They both love to chase sticks that are thrown by young women!
21:42So, the question is, when stick is thrown in water by Banzai Lady, who will be the first
21:48to swim out and grab it?
21:50Will it be, Bridges?
21:51Or the dog?
21:52The man?
21:53Or Mojo?
21:55Hehehehe!
21:56Press bet now!
21:57Just bet!
21:59Oof!
21:59Oof!
21:59Oof!
22:00Oof!
22:00Are four legs better than two?
22:02It's up to your head!
22:05Betting ends!
22:08Mojo given sniff of stick, but he not interested!
22:11He concentrating on race!
22:13He's so professional!
22:15Tension is mounting!
22:17They are ready!
22:19They are steady!
22:21And they are away!
22:23Don't go fast like a thief in the night!
22:26Yes!
22:27Mojo stick champion!
22:30Incredible doggy paddling action!
22:32Todd, slow to start!
22:34Ever really recovered?
22:35Come on, Todd!
22:36Try a different stroke!
22:37Hahaha!
22:39Mojo is one unbeatable dog!
22:41If you bet on him, then you are a winner!
22:44Today, a dog, David, has beaten a different stroke Goliath!
22:48One more thing!
22:49What were you talking about, Willis?
22:52Hey!
22:52Hey!
22:53Seriously, what was it?
22:55Ha!
22:57Hey!
22:57Ha!
22:59Ha!
23:00Ha!
23:00Ha!
23:01Ha!
23:02Ha!
23:03Ha!
23:07That's all from Banzai this week!
23:09Till next time!
23:11Benzo!
23:12Benzo!
23:13Meilleurs!
23:14Are we walking off?
23:15Were he distracted when I'm naked?
23:19Did it past the night?
23:26He tiredken...
23:27Ya!
23:39No?
23:41That's all from Banzai this week!
23:43You
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