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00:00FANZAI!
00:04Play-at-home fun.
00:06From a land where anything is truly possible,
00:10comes new gambling opportunities.
00:14Place your bets now, it's time to play FANZAI!
00:24FANZAI!
00:31FANZAI!
00:33FANZAI!
00:34Place your bets now!
00:37A FANDABBY DOZY FLUTTER!
00:43This little boy called Wee Jimmy Cranky Man!
00:47FANDABBY DOZY!
00:49Today, FANZAI can reveal a disturbing dark cranky secret!
00:56For he not really a Wee Jimmy Cranky Man at all!
01:00He actually a woman!
01:03That's amazing!
01:05Still, it's good news, because now it means we can play...
01:15A little boy brass size bet!
01:19For the first time, Wee Jimmy Cranky Man Woman has agreed to reveal his lady's bitch class!
01:26The question is, what brass size has he got?
01:30Is it?
01:31Size 34B!
01:33B!
01:34Size 32C!
01:35Or C!
01:36Size 34C!
01:38Place your bets now!
01:41Hit the Cranky Capsize Columbrum!
01:43Hurry and bet!
01:44Hurry and bet!
01:45Betting ends!
01:50It is time!
01:52Mr. Cranky Man Woman!
01:53Will you please show us what you've got?
01:57There's some mounting!
01:58Watch carefully!
02:00Ha!
02:01Ha!
02:01Ha!
02:02Look at them!
02:04Unbelievable!
02:05Woo-hoo!
02:07Now, for final truth, Mr. Cranky Man!
02:09Tell me, what size are you?
02:1334B!
02:14FANDABBY DOZY!
02:15Oh!
02:16Amazing!
02:16It's a 34B!
02:20Brilliant Brassized Rebeatings from the Wee Fella!
02:31Still lots more gambling opportunities to come on Banzai!
02:35But first, Lady One Question!
02:39Oh, look!
02:40It's Lady One Question!
02:42Hello, Lady!
02:43Lady One Question!
02:45Like to say absolutely nothing to celebrity people for a long time!
02:50Question is!
02:51After only one question!
02:53How long can Lady One Question remain silent for in the company of Mr. Simon Cowell for?
02:59Apparently, he's the one who likes telling people they rubbish at thinking!
03:05But how long will he hang around for after only one question?
03:09Will it be A. For 0 to 30 seconds?
03:12B. 31 to 60 seconds?
03:15C. 61 to 90 seconds?
03:17Or D. 91 seconds and over!
03:20Place bet now!
03:22It's only one question!
03:24It's a simple selection!
03:25A, B, C, or D. Which one it going to be?
03:28What you waiting for, stupid?
03:30Hurry up!
03:31Betting ends!
03:34Okay, here we go!
03:36Lady One Question in position!
03:38Hello!
03:39Lady One Question!
03:41Please unleash your one question!
03:43Could you tell me something about the difference between American pop idol to British pop idol?
03:48Stop the clock!
03:49Go away!
03:51I think the girls have got more attitude here, and the girls are better.
03:58Essentially though, it's the same show.
04:02You know, everyone wants to win the competition.
04:05Most people can't sing, but the girls are good in this competition.
04:09And I think a girl is going to win it!
04:12That's it!
04:15That's it!
04:28That's it!
04:28All my girlfriends and I sit around while I'm at it!
04:31Have I said something?
04:33We've never met?
04:34That's it!
04:35That's odd for me!
04:38We got picked up for two years.
04:39Very nice!
04:40And that's the difference between the two shows.
04:44Oh, cool!
04:46Can you help me out here please?
04:48She's very mad at you!
04:50Why are you so mad?
04:51Well, have I said so?
04:52Are you mad at me?
04:53Oh, yes!
04:54How you doing it?
04:56Oh.
05:00He finally had enough. He going. He going stop the clock
05:19Thank you lady one question you have shown us today
05:24That is not what you say, but how you not say it. That's most important, which is quite good actually
05:30isn't it?
05:34Yes
05:45A fascinating door doctor decision
05:51Oh look it's a typical night off in the house of Banzai apparently everyone having a rest from tiring gambles
05:59This is all well and good, but we need more bets, please
06:02Everyone know that finding a gambling opportunity is a full-time job
06:07True, but sometimes gambling opportunities come also to those who wait
06:13What's that?
06:15It's somebody at the door of Banzai house. I wonder who it is
06:20Knock knock
06:22Who's there?
06:23Doctor
06:24Doctor who?
06:25Exactly
06:25I am a doctor who
06:27Question is which doctor who man am I?
06:31Who exactly the who who knocking on Banzai door?
06:35Which doctor making a Banzai house call?
06:39Is it
06:39A
06:40Mr. Sylvester McCoy
06:42B
06:43Mr. Peter Davidson
06:45C
06:46Mr. Tom Baker
06:48Or D
06:49Mr. Colin Baker
06:50A. McCoy
06:52B. Davidson
06:52C. Baker Tom
06:54Or
06:54D. Baker Colin
06:55Who
06:56Who
06:56Who
06:57Who
06:57It totally up to you
06:59A
07:00B
07:00P
07:00Dr. Dr
07:02I feel like a pair of curtains
07:04Two
07:05Shut up
07:06O
07:06Disappointing
07:08Betting ends
07:10Okay
07:11Time for a difficult doctor dilemma disclosure
07:14Time for door openings, Mr Cheeky Chappy
07:17Station mounting?
07:19Watch carefully
07:20O
07:21O
07:21Look
07:22It's Mr. Colin Baker
07:23That's
07:25Amazing
07:26He the hook who was knocking.
07:29So, if you said D, Mr. Colin Baker Man was the Misty Caller, you came top in this tricky Time
07:35Lord test.
07:37That's amazing!
07:41Banzai!
07:53A chocolate biscuit to give to Gambo.
07:56This man, a very old beardy disc jockey man called Mr. D.L.T.
08:02He used to be on Radio 1.
08:04Sadly, he had to leave the radio before his big secret got out.
08:08Apparently, he hates all people.
08:11And only one thing makes him happy.
08:13Chocolate biscuit!
08:17Yummy, yummy, eh, B-A-D-M-A-M?
08:20Every day, local women bring the former Radio 1 disc jockey a chocolate biscuit tribute.
08:27Today, it is the turn of these three young ladies.
08:30If he enjoys the biscuit they offer him, then they will live.
08:35If he dislikes their snack selection, they will die.
08:41Blimey, that's so scary!
08:44Question is, how many of the three will be eaten by D.L.T.?
08:48Which biscuits will he bite?
08:50How much will he bunch?
08:51A. No eating at all.
08:54B. One biscuit.
08:55C. Two biscuits.
08:57Or different.
08:58All three biscuits.
08:59Trace your bets now!
09:01It's a simple chocolate choosing.
09:03It's an uncomplicated confectionary colandrum.
09:06This is not about you or me.
09:08This is all about D.L.T.
09:11Betting ends!
09:14Okay, here we go.
09:16Time to discover what tickles Sir D.L.T.'s chocolate fancy.
09:21Here come number one.
09:22Attention mounting.
09:24Today, she is offering Mr. D.L.T. a wagon wheel.
09:28He having a good look, weighing up all his options.
09:32And, oh no!
09:35He not like it.
09:36Look at his eyes!
09:37Get out of the way, Mrs.
09:40It's all over for Wagon Wheel Lady.
09:43Ha ha!
09:44He is so cruel!
09:46Oi!
09:47Okay, second summonings, please!
09:50Lady number two.
09:51Today, she is offering caramel wafers!
09:56Imagine it with a cup of tea, Sir D.L.T.
09:58That's it, yes!
10:00Oh no!
10:01He off again!
10:02He is just doing this for fun now!
10:04Duck Lady Duck!
10:05At the rate!
10:06She got two!
10:07Maybe he got all biscuits or something!
10:11He's very hard to produce today!
10:13Oi!
10:15Finally, Lady Three!
10:17Today, she hopes to tempt Travis with the classic club biscuit!
10:21If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit, George...
10:26Shut up!
10:27Do you remember Space Star?
10:28Quiet!
10:29He's suddenly having a long, hard look!
10:32What do you think?
10:33Is it?
10:34Has he?
10:35Yes!
10:36Ha ha!
10:37He want mantis!
10:38He joined her club!
10:39Ha ha ha!
10:42He really taking the biscuit!
10:44He genuinely having it!
10:45If you said B, that D.L.T. would eat only one biscuit here today, then you are a winner!
10:53Okay!
10:54What else we got?
10:56I found...
10:59Can't see more gambling opportunities still to come on Banzai!
11:04End of part one!
11:07Yes!
11:07D.L.T. would eat only one biscuit, but you can't call him!
11:36The Crafty Cockney Man!
11:39He likes to play darts!
11:42This man's name is Mr. Jimmy White Man, but you can call him...
11:47The World Wind!
11:49He likes to play snooker!
11:51Now, for the first time in history, Banzai has brought them together to do battle in a contest we call...
12:09The Sucky Sucky Sportman Showdown!
12:13Rules of Sucky Sucky Showdown very, very simple!
12:16Each sportman has a super-powerful vacuum machine!
12:20In front of each of them are 12 alcoholic pint drinks!
12:24On the command, they must go along the line, sucking up all liquid with their machine!
12:30First sportman to suck up the black pint in the middle is the winner!
12:35Understand?
12:36Good!
12:37Today, Mr. Bristol Man has chosen to suck up a tasty lager drink!
12:42Mr. White Man, meanwhile, has chosen to play with an interesting cider drink!
12:48The question is, who will win this simple sportman's sake of?
12:53Who will be the quickest to put away their pints?
12:56Will it be Mr. Bristol Man or Mr. White Man?
13:00The Crafty Cockney Man or the Wheel Wind Man?
13:03Darts Man or Smooker Man?
13:05Nagger or Scyther?
13:06This one or that one?
13:07Slash a bit slow!
13:09Come on, it's a round!
13:11Last orders at the bar, please!
13:13No time to waste!
13:15Betting ends!
13:19Okay, time for Saki Suction Showdown to commence!
13:23Gentlemen, start your engines!
13:25Are you ready?
13:26Are you steady?
13:27Go!
13:28Go!
13:29Go!
13:30They are away!
13:31They must both suck a total of 13 points to win here today!
13:36Five, six, pints gone now!
13:39Seven, eight, oh blimey!
13:42Here, the drummer, get wicked!
13:44The Crafty Man nearly there!
13:46Where are you, White Man, Sarkins?
13:48Curie!
13:48Must be!
13:49Can he?
13:49Yes!
13:52He puts the black!
13:54Oi!
13:55That's so professional!
13:58He definitely played this game before!
14:02Maybe even without the vacuum assistant!
14:04Ha ha ha ha!
14:07Mr. White Man, what were you thinking of?
14:09You no longer deserve name of Whirlwind!
14:12Maybe we call you Jimmy Ravishman White!
14:16Ha ha ha ha ha!
14:19Tonight on Big Break, it's Jimmy Ravishman White!
14:24Ha ha ha ha!
14:26Ha ha ha ha ha!
14:33Oh!
14:36I say!
14:38It's Big Brother 2 Lady, Mrs. Hale!
14:41What's she doing here?
14:42Apparently, Mr. Shake Hands Man 2 has been given the Banzai boot!
14:47So, this week, we are trying out a few new characters to replace him!
14:51Oh, I see!
14:53So, what characters?
14:54Mrs. Hale from Big Brother 2 doing there?
14:58Lady One Answer!
15:01Lady One Answer like to say absolutely nothing to reporter people for a long time!
15:08Reporter people love to ask many questions, but Lady One Answer like to answer only one question!
15:16Reporters will taunt her and ask her for more, but she must only respond with a wall of silence!
15:23Question is, how long will Lady One Answer be able to remain silent for in the face of many questions?
15:30Oh!
15:30She a bit like Lady One Question then!
15:33Only she give one answer?
15:35Quite clever, actually!
15:36Yes!
15:37So, question is, how long you reckon Lady One Answer will hang around in the face of this reporter lady?
15:44Will it be A, 0 to 20 seconds, B, 21 to 30 seconds, C, 31 to 40 seconds, or D,
15:5341 seconds and over?
15:55Place your bets now!
15:58How long can minor celebrity ladies stay silent?
16:01Come on, it's so easy!
16:05On your marks, get set!
16:07First question being asked from reporter lady now!
16:10And you're still famous, still getting to come along to the premieres, do you think any of the ones from
16:14this year are going to do so well?
16:16Yeah, I think Kate's...
16:17Remember? Mrs. Helen can only answer one question!
16:20And what about, I mean, what about your other housemates?
16:22Obviously, Brian's got his presenting stuff, but do you feel like you're the survivor, that you're still a celeb and
16:26they're not?
16:27Start the clock!
16:29No?
16:32Sorry!
16:33Sorry!
16:36I'm not sorry!
16:48Sorry, I apologize if I said something offensive.
16:52You're okay?
16:56She's gonna stand and serve me.
17:01Oh, look!
17:03She's going!
17:05Helen, go!
17:06Amazing one answering from the big brother lady!
17:1148 seconds!
17:13Brilliant!
17:14Well, quite good, actually.
17:16If you said D, 41 seconds and over, you are a winner!
17:21Thank you, lady!
17:22One answer!
17:23Your vow of celebrity silence worked a right treat!
17:28Do you think it'll catch on, eh?
17:30Oh, yes!
17:30If we had a bigger celebrity, you know, like a Posh Spice doing it, that might be better.
17:37Yes.
17:38Mmm.
17:46This man is Mr. Reg Dresley Man!
17:49But a long time ago, he wrote a famous song called Wild Thing!
17:53Oh, I like that one!
17:55But like all Rockstar Man, he is now slightly eccentric!
17:59Because he no longer likes talking to people on the phone or in a letter!
18:04He will only communicate using these children!
18:08But that's okay by us, because it means we can play!
18:22A crude crop pop circle conundrum!
18:25With Mr. Wild Thing Man!
18:33Today, Banzai has gathered Mr. Wild Thing and his disciples together to answer a very simple music question.
18:41Mr. Wild Thing Man, what do you reckon to West Lively, eh?
18:45Do you think they any good?
18:47Are West Lively...
18:48A. Cooks
18:50B. Tits
18:51Or C. Twats
18:53What do you reckon?
18:55Cokes, tits, or just twats?
18:58Look!
18:58He's really thinking about it!
19:01And now, he's telling corn kids what he reckons too!
19:06Look!
19:06They stomping down all the stuff in the field!
19:09He a true professional!
19:11But what's he going to write?
19:13I've no idea!
19:15It could be anything!
19:16So, the question is, what does Mr. Wild Thing Presley Man think of West Life?
19:22A, B, or C?
19:23It has to be one of the three!
19:25Cooks, tits, or twats!
19:27Press your bets now!
19:29Come on!
19:30Put your money on his mucky mouth!
19:33It's a simple, weak evasion!
19:34You don't bet, you don't get!
19:36You don't choose, you lose!
19:38Betting ends!
19:41Time to unveil Mr. Presley's controversial crop-up opinion!
19:46What do you really think of?
19:48Band-Cord West Life?
19:49Let's have a look, fella!
19:52Oh, tits!
19:54It's tits!
19:55My, oh, my!
19:56Tits!
19:57Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
19:58Oh, one more!
20:00Tits!
20:00He, he, he, he, he!
20:01One for the road!
20:03Tits!
20:03Other game!
20:04T-I-T-S!
20:05So rude!
20:07Ha, ha, ha!
20:08If you said, see, tits, then congratulations!
20:11You are clever crop-up pick-up!
20:14Time for another potential new character, please!
20:18Oh, look!
20:19It's Mr. Boobantastic!
20:21He's simply fantastic!
20:23He got a big boob microphone, which he likes to hit celebrity people on the head with!
20:29Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
20:30So, we bet on how many times he can hit celebrity people on the head during the interview!
20:37Exactly!
20:38What's your record?
20:39Well, it's worth a try, innit?
20:42Who's first?
20:43Oh, ho, it's old Boxing Man, Mr. Presley.
20:47Henry Cooper.
20:48Question is, how many times can Mr. Boobantastic hit him on the head?
20:53Will it be A, three and under, B, between four and six hits, or C, seven hits under a bum?
21:01Press your bets now!
21:03Forget about the shaking of hands!
21:05This is about hitting heads!
21:07They call him Mr. Bombastic, he's simply fantastic!
21:10Betting ends!
21:13Time for boobings to begin!
21:16Okay, you distract Cooper, ma'am!
21:19Mr. Cooper!
21:20Max Bygraves!
21:21What do you reckon, eh?
21:22Well, Max, he's a great character.
21:23I've known Max now for, what, 30, 40 years?
21:26Good!
21:27Cooper away!
21:28Okay, Mr. Boom!
21:29You're in perfect position here!
21:31That's it!
21:32Just a bit more!
21:33No, that's not count!
21:35You missed him!
21:36Must hit the head, stupid!
21:38Come on then!
21:40Is that better?
21:41Just a bit more!
21:42A little roar!
21:44No!
21:45This rubbish!
21:46Hit him!
21:47Hit him!
21:48Hit him!
21:50What's happened?
21:51What's happened?
21:52Oh!
21:53Oh!
21:54Oh!
21:54Oh!
21:55Yes!
21:56That's better!
21:58Use the mark now!
21:59Let's have another!
22:00Can we?
22:01Yes!
22:03Two nil to Mr. Boom!
22:05Surely there's time for number three!
22:07Is there?
22:08Come on then, chokes away!
22:10Just drop it!
22:12Three nil!
22:13Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
22:15Cooper going!
22:16Hit all over!
22:19If you bet A, three blues and under!
22:22Congratulations!
22:23You are a winner!
22:25Thank you, Mr. Boom!
22:27Maybe we ask you back next week!
22:29Yeah!
22:30Don't call us, fella!
22:31We'll be in touch!
22:34Ha ha ha ha!
22:36Ha ha ha ha!
22:37Ha ha ha!
22:42Bunzai!
22:47That's all for this week!
22:49Next time on Bunzai,
22:50The Stupid Silly Stuntbed!
22:53Today,
22:54They're going to saw themselves
22:56Out of a tree!
22:57Ha ha ha!
22:58That's a bit like a jackass, isn't it?
23:01Any more?
23:03Ha ha ha!
23:03Ernie Clifton's weekly sofa walk!
23:06What you reckon, eh?
23:07Stairs or no stairs?
23:09Walk!
23:11Ha ha ha!
23:12That's so rubbish!
23:14He hasn't got a sleep!
23:16Bunzai!
23:21What?
23:23You wanna ask me something else?
23:25You wanna ask me something else?
23:31Oh my god!
23:32The blues beat balance!
23:33ๆใซใ
23:36ๆใ็ใใฆ่ฝใกใฆใ
23:39่ธใ็ถใใฆใใใ
23:42ๅคใชใฎใ
23:44ๆใซใ
23:46ๆใซใ
23:47Get in my son!
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