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00:00FUNZAI!
00:01HAH! HAH!
00:04Play at home fun.
00:06From a land where anything is truly possible,
00:09comes new gambling opportunities.
00:12HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH!
00:14Place your bets now.
00:16It's time to play...
00:17FUNZAI!
00:18HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH!
00:23FUNZAI!
00:27HAH! HAH!
00:29HAH! HAH!
00:29HAH! HAH! HAH!
00:31FUNZAI!
00:33HAH! FLEISHER BITS NOW!
00:39HAH! HAH! HAH!
00:43HAH! HAH! HAH!
00:44HAH! HAH! HAH!
00:44HAH! HAH! HAH!
00:45An interesting painting man puzzle!
00:48These three men are artists who enjoy painting many things.
00:52Today is a very special day for one of them.
00:56You're not painting any old things?
00:58No! He painting something very special indeed!
01:02He painting his very own sister!
01:07In the mood!
01:09HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH!
01:11My oh my!
01:12HAH!
01:14So, question is...
01:15Can you spot the brother of this lovely nudie lady?
01:19HAH!
01:20HAH!
01:21Which arty mister is drawing his naked sister?
01:25HAH!
01:26Could be number one!
01:28His name is Colin!
01:30HAH! He really capturing her well, I think!
01:34HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH!
01:36Number two called D!
01:37He liked the work of Tony Hart!
01:40And the color of sand!
01:42Mmm! Interesting!
01:44Finally, number three!
01:46He called Bass!
01:47Concentrate fella!
01:49It's all in the detail, innit?
01:51You dirty old sly fox, you!
01:55HAH! HAH! HAH!
01:57So, which of the three do you think her brother could be?
02:01Is it he?
02:02Him?
02:02Or the one?
02:03The hat?
02:04This?
02:04This?
02:05This?
02:05Or that?
02:06Tracer bets now!
02:09Then, no doubt, Grant C!
02:11It has to be one of three!
02:14Very true, actually!
02:16Betting ends!
02:18Time to put you in the picture!
02:20And see who the nudie lady's brother will be!
02:23If you said number one was the one...
02:25You wrong!
02:28HAH! HAH! HAH!
02:29He look nothing like her!
02:30And it's only here in the name of art!
02:33Mmm!
02:35If you said number three...
02:37Get in my son!
02:39Because you got the winning pony!
02:41HAH!
02:42What a smashing picture!
02:44They really are a very close family, aren't they?
02:47HAH! HAH!
02:48Okay!
02:49More minor celebrity involvement, please!
02:57Still want some gambling opportunities to come on Banzai!
03:01But first...
03:03Lady one question!
03:05Lady one question!
03:07Like to say absolutely nothing to celebrity people for long time!
03:13Last week, she managed to say absolutely nothing to...
03:17Mr. Crime Watchman Nick Ross for 23 seconds before he make his excuses and leave!
03:25Question is!
03:26After one question!
03:28How long can Lady one question remain silent for?
03:32In the company of blockbusters man, Mr. Bob Holdes!
03:37Will it be...
03:390 to 60 seconds!
03:41B!
03:4261 to 120 seconds!
03:45Or...
03:47121 seconds!
03:48Head over!
03:50Raise your bets now!
03:52What you waiting for?
03:53Can I have a B, please, Mr. Bob?
03:55Can I?
03:56Seriously!
03:57I'd like a B, please!
03:59WAH! HA!
04:01Batsy again!
04:03Okay!
04:04I'll need you one question!
04:05I'm from China 4!
04:07Could you tell me a little bit about today?
04:09Start the clock!
04:11Oh, hold on!
04:14What's he doing?
04:19Now, what do you want to know about today?
04:22What it's all about?
04:23Yes!
04:24Yes?
04:29We're all here because it's the Humanity Awards, the Red Cross Humanity Awards,
04:33and they really are terrific because they're youngsters all over the country,
04:36who've actually done things which are humane and which are kind to people,
04:41and they get special awards.
04:43And particularly my lad, my lad, he's quite extraordinary.
04:48Christopher Thomas, his name is.
04:49And he was on a bus, and he spotted a lady, he was going to school on the bus,
04:56he spotted a lady having a fit, an epileptic fit, on a pavement outside.
05:01And the bus driver wouldn't stop.
05:02So three quarters of a mile later, he got to school, he got out, and he ran back.
05:07And there were two policemen there, they'd sat her up, but she was still having a fit.
05:12And so he immediately gave her the kiss of life, and the restoring kiss,
05:18and put her into the right position, and then she started again.
05:21But he kept her going because she had stopped breathing,
05:24and he actually started her breathing again.
05:26And I am here today to congratulate him and to give him an award,
05:31and to have a photograph taken with him.
05:33It's rather nice.
05:34He's a good guy.
05:38Yeah?
05:45And that's all.
05:46I mean, there are lots of people here, and...
05:48Bone is like talking, doesn't he?
05:50He's really desperate for a chat today.
05:54Listen to it!
05:56Because I've got a lot of time for young people.
05:59I've always worked with young people.
06:01And when you see young people as courageous and as intelligent...
06:04You can go, blockbuster!
06:06The interview was over ages ago!
06:09She asked her question.
06:10We see enough!
06:12Just go!
06:13Please!
06:15And this is a good day to celebrate it.
06:17Is this your final answer?
06:19I hope so!
06:21Look!
06:22Even lady one question is bored now!
06:24Well, I can't keep talking.
06:26Is no one going to ask me questions?
06:29Shhh!
06:29No?
06:30Obviously not.
06:30So embarrassing for Bob, man!
06:32Okay, well, I'll go back to my lad over there.
06:35I can't keep...
06:40Okay, fine.
06:41See you later.
06:42Stop the clock!
06:44What is it?
06:45How long?
06:46Hold your hats!
06:48That was 157 seconds!
06:50Woohoo!
06:52It's a one question world record!
06:54Woohoo!
06:56What a result!
06:57It's one question in a million!
06:59Woohoo!
07:01Wogan!
07:02Letterman!
07:03Parkinson!
07:04Ready one question!
07:07How's that sound to you, eh?
07:09Good?
07:11Woohoo!
07:13Banzai!
07:14Banzai!
07:15Banzai!
07:15Banzai!
07:15Banzai!
07:16Banzai!
07:17Banzai!
07:17Banzai!
07:20Banzai!
07:29Banzai!
07:32Fog
07:52The Smoking Celebrity Showdown Selection!
07:58Rules are simple.
08:00Celebrities must take it in turns to make a cigarette selection
08:04by pressing a button on Banzai fag machine.
08:08Only one button will release tobacco treasure.
08:11Others will release nothing at all.
08:15So question is, who you think ends up with the pocket in the pocket?
08:19Mrs. Nudge or Mr. Tommy?
08:22Her or him?
08:23This one or that one?
08:25Play the bets now!
08:28Neighbors, everybody need good neighbors.
08:31With a little understanding, betting ends.
08:37Okay, it is time for celebrity tobacco battle to commence.
08:42Okay, ladies first.
08:45What's she going for here, eh?
08:48She going for Marlboro.
08:51Any droppings?
08:52Will it?
08:52Oh, no, no, no, no, no droppings.
08:57Now, it is turn of Rockman Tommy.
09:01Will he be the supreme cigarette selector?
09:04It's man against machine.
09:07He choose.
09:08Benson and Hedges.
09:10Easy.
09:10Waiting, waiting.
09:12No, no, nothing.
09:14Oh, not the cigarette sausage.
09:17But the tournament.
09:19Mrs. Nudge's turn once again.
09:22She got a one in four chance now.
09:24Where she go now?
09:26Rothmans.
09:27Oh, that came out of nowhere.
09:30Wait.
09:31It's a pocket coming.
09:32Pages freeze.
09:34Oh, no.
09:35It's sold out too.
09:37Mr. Tommy's turn again now.
09:40He knows it can only be one of three.
09:44He going for embassy number one.
09:47Win.
09:49Yes.
09:51You are the winner.
09:54Export cigarette selection's Mr. Tommy.
09:57Tonight was your night.
09:59You played your cars right.
10:06Two men of construction.
10:08One called Tony.
10:10He been a builder for two years and likes his job.
10:13Other called Neil.
10:15He the foreman and boss on Tony.
10:18But that's not important.
10:19Today, they must do battle not with bricks and mortar,
10:23but with novelty mulch featuring the royal family.
10:27Lovely.
10:36Men of a brick.
10:37War over China.
10:39Rules are simple.
10:41Each builder must wear a big shiny helmet.
10:44They must both take it in turns to throw a mug at his opponent.
10:48If he smashes it on his helmet, then it is a hit.
10:51Each builder is armed with three mugs.
10:54The one with the most hits is the winner.
10:56Understand?
10:58Good.
11:00So, who will have the deadliest aim of all?
11:03Will it be Black Knight Neil or White Knight Tony?
11:07Neil or Tony?
11:08Blackie or Whiteie?
11:09Press your bet now.
11:12Will it be Black or White?
11:13Ebony or Ivory?
11:15Will they live together in perfect harmony?
11:17Betting ends.
11:20Okay.
11:22Black Knight Neil will go first.
11:24Now is the moment of ultimate truth.
11:28Tension mounting.
11:30Fight!
11:32Fire!
11:32Fire!
11:33Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
11:35Nowhere near!
11:37Ha ha ha!
11:38Tony's turn now.
11:40Fire!
11:41Oh, no!
11:42He missed as well!
11:44This could be very boring game unless someone do some damage double quick time, mister.
11:50Oh, my! He smashed Tony in the chest!
11:54That's gonna hurt!
11:55It don't count. He has to smash Marco on Tony's helmet.
12:00So, Tony's turn now.
12:02Yes! A hit! Yes!
12:06One more time, please!
12:07Yes! Fine play! One-nil to Mr. Tony!
12:12Okay, Neil need this to stay in-game.
12:15Yes! What a Koga!
12:19This really hotting up now! One-one!
12:23It all or nothing! This is personal!
12:26Yes! Yes! Yes!
12:28Glorious throwing throw, Mr. Tony!
12:31He clinched it with the very last throw of the game!
12:34Unbelievable!
12:36If you bet on Mr. Tony, you buck a real winner!
12:39Ah! Wah-ha-ha!
12:47Many more gambling opportunities still to come on Banzai!
12:51Including...
12:52A painful pickled onion puzzle!
12:56The Lady Loving Lady Line-Up!
13:00And...
13:01Mr. Shake Handsman 2!
13:03End of part one!
13:21The Lady Loving Lady Line-Up!
13:25This old lady called Margaret!
13:28She may look like a kindly old grandmother, but truth is...
13:32She is one genuine old age lady lesbian!
13:36That's amazing!
13:38These are four ladies who all look like normal old ladies!
13:43But the question is...
13:45Can you spot the one who likes to do it proper with Miss Margaret?
13:49Which one of these old lady beauties is the Romeo to Margaret's Juliet?
13:54Could it be number one?
13:56She may have a haircut like the Beatles, but would she say, love me do to a lady?
14:01Mmm! Interesting!
14:02How about lipstick lady number two?
14:06Is she looking forward to some hunky lesbian punky later on?
14:10Mmm!
14:11How about number three?
14:13She pleased about something!
14:15Is she the cat who got the lesbian cream?
14:18Is she?
14:19Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
14:21Finally, number four!
14:23Is it her?
14:24Is she the sea lover?
14:26What you like of?
14:27Mmm!
14:28So difficult!
14:29So, who was the old age lady lesbian?
14:32One, two, three, or four!
14:34Press your bets now!
14:37Bet!
14:37Bet!
14:38Bet!
14:38Which one like her toast buttered on the other side?
14:43Betting ends!
14:45Okay!
14:46Time to see...
14:48Who is the genuine geriatric gender bender?
14:51Who is the gay grandma?
14:53If you say to number four...
14:58You are the winner!
14:59Ah!
15:01She is a genuine article!
15:03Who likes a bit of the other with Miss Margaret!
15:06What a lovely couple!
15:08Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
15:10But hold your horses!
15:12What's this?
15:13Oh, no!
15:14Very professional technique!
15:17Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
15:26The great Greek name Game Game!
15:30Two men of Greece!
15:32Everybody knows that Greece people have very long names!
15:36We call this man Greek number one!
15:39Hello!
15:40My name is Petragis Dromalaxidis!
15:43Very interesting name!
15:45He got a nice beard as well!
15:48We call this fella Greek number two!
15:51Hi!
15:52My name is Stavros Lambroboulos!
15:54Oh-ho!
15:54Very long names too!
15:56Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
15:57Cheer up fella!
15:58It might never happen!
16:00Okay!
16:00Question is...
16:02Whose Greek name is worth more at Scrabble?
16:05Who wins the game with just their name?
16:08Wait!
16:08Mr...
16:09Dromalab...
16:11Dromalab...
16:11Dromalab...
16:12Dromalab...
16:12Number one!
16:14Or...
16:15Mr...
16:16Lambra...
16:17Lopalop...
16:18Number two!
16:20Please!
16:21Bets now!
16:22Greece is the word!
16:24Hit the groove!
16:24Hit the groove!
16:25Play the game!
16:27And pick a name!
16:28What you waiting, eh?
16:30Chili sauce!
16:31Betting ends!
16:34Okay!
16:35What the score for Greek man number one?
16:38Hello!
16:39My name is Petragis Dromalaxidis!
16:41Start the scoring!
16:42T-E-T-R-A-K-I-S-D-R-O-M-O-L-A-X-I-T-I-S!
16:52Brilliant!
16:53Impressive name numbering, mister!
16:56Thirty-six points!
16:58Okay!
16:59Greek man number two!
17:01Make it count, my son!
17:03Hi!
17:04My name is Stavros Nambro...
17:05Go!
17:06Go!
17:06Go!
17:06S-T-A-V-R-O-S-L-A-M-V-R-O-P-O-U-L-O-S!
17:13Twenty-eight!
17:14That's all?
17:15Rubbish!
17:16Pathetic name numbering!
17:18Get out of town, mister!
17:20You're a total waste of time!
17:22If you pick Greek man number one, then congratulations!
17:27You are a winner!
17:31Mr. Shakehandsman 2!
17:34Mr. Shakehandsman 2!
17:37Like to shake hands with celebrity people for long time!
17:41Last time, he shake hands with actress lady, Mrs. Thora Birch!
17:47For two minutes and forty-three seconds!
17:50That's the personal best!
17:52Question is, how long do you reckon Mr. Shakehandsman 2 shake hands with Mr. Elliot Gouldefall?
17:57Will it be A, zero to thirty seconds, B, thirty-one to sixty seconds, C, sixty-one to ninety seconds,
18:07or D, ninety-one seconds and over?
18:12Pleasure bets now!
18:14Come on, come on!
18:16Choose or lose!
18:17We're going for Goulde here!
18:19Ha, ha, ha!
18:20Fire!
18:21Beding wins!
18:24Oh!
18:24Start the clock!
18:26Let's get this shaking show on the road!
18:29He away!
18:29Gripping and shaking!
18:31Looking good!
18:33Oh, oh!
18:35And, uh, you are working on a friend?
18:37Yes.
18:39Goulde man a difficult interview!
18:41He not giving anything away!
18:44Uh, lots of fun!
18:46Very professional!
18:47This is not about talkings!
18:48This is all about shakings!
18:50So shaky!
18:51What most fun for you are film or television?
18:54He like a big shaking swan!
18:57Smooth on surface, but shaking like the clappers underneath!
19:00Oh, ho!
19:02I see what you mean, actually!
19:03Yeah!
19:04Also theater!
19:05Good one!
19:05Live theater, yeah!
19:07What will be your next project?
19:09Ha, ha, ha!
19:10Good, good!
19:11Good form here!
19:12Uh, I don't know right now.
19:14He definitely got his shaking trousers on today!
19:17Yeah!
19:17And it comes out at the end of the year.
19:19My next project is to take, is to take my hand out of your hand.
19:23What did he say?
19:23Wait!
19:24Oh, no!
19:26It's all over!
19:29Oh, no!
19:30Oh, no!
19:32Oh, no!
19:3359 seconds!
19:35Very good shakings!
19:37Well, it's okay!
19:38Not bad, actually!
19:39If you say B, 31 to 60 seconds, you are a winner!
19:44Hot off to Shaky Man 2!
19:46Yes!
19:55Banzai!
19:57This little boy called Joshua!
20:00Hello, little fella!
20:01This little lady called Sophie!
20:04Hello, lady!
20:06This bald man with metal skewers in his mouth called Tony!
20:11Against all advice, Banzai has brought them together today to play a game we call...
20:23A painful pickled onion puzzle!
20:27Rules of pickled puzzle simple!
20:30The bald man has four skewers going through his mouth!
20:34One skewer has a pickled onion attached to it!
20:37Young children will take it in turns to each pull on a skewer!
20:41Winner is child who pulls the one with the pickled onion on it!
20:46Understand?
20:47Good!
20:48Question is, who will win the little pickled prize?
20:51Which one picked the pickled stick?
20:54Master Joshua or Mistress Sophie?
20:57Kid A or Kid B?
20:59Please!
21:00Place bets now!
21:02Come on, come on!
21:04Get to the point!
21:05Don't be sorry for him!
21:07He'll love it!
21:08Haha!
21:09Just pickity pick!
21:10Hurry up!
21:12Betting wins!
21:14Okay!
21:15The ceremony is about to begin!
21:19Joshua first pickings!
21:22The four to choose from!
21:24Which one he go for?
21:26He has chosen!
21:28Print little man, print!
21:30Oh ho!
21:31It's a big stack!
21:32Give it a good yank!
21:34That's it!
21:35Yes!
21:36Yes!
21:37It's free!
21:38Mr. Tony, is the onion on the loose?
21:41Is it?
21:42Easy!
21:44Oh no!
21:45Onion three there!
21:46Must move on!
21:48Sophie is choice!
21:49Oh!
21:50Hai!
21:51Dozo!
21:51She been watching Mr. Tony closely!
21:54Look at the confidence!
21:56You can't teach that!
21:57Plings!
21:58Now!
21:59Ho ho ho ho!
22:00Oh yes!
22:01Screw it out!
22:02Where the onion?
22:03Onion presentation please!
22:05Anything?
22:06No!
22:07She drew an onion blank!
22:09Only two kebabs stick left now!
22:12Master Joshua's turn!
22:15Will he pull the right one?
22:16Or the wrong one?
22:17You can almost taste the onion tension here!
22:21Oh yeah!
22:22Ah!
22:22Ah!
22:23Oh ho!
22:24Is it?
22:24Is it?
22:25Mmm!
22:26Treasure mountain!
22:27Yes!
22:28Yes!
22:30Dropings!
22:31Onion as a free as a bird!
22:34Ah!
22:35Oh!
22:36Unbelievable!
22:37Ha ha ha ha ha!
22:39Ha ha ha ha!
22:39What a performance!
22:41Well done, Master Joshua!
22:44Right!
22:44You released the little pickle prisoner!
22:47If you backed the boy, then you will be now!
22:50Oh ho!
22:52Ho ho!
22:53Ha!
22:54Ha!
22:54Ha!
22:55Ha!
22:56Ha!
22:57Ha!
22:57Ha!
23:01Ha!
23:02That's all, from Banzai this week!
23:04Till next time!
23:06Banzai ha!
23:11Ha!
23:33Oh, no, no, no.
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