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00:05Anzai!
00:09Play at all the fun.
00:11From a land where anything is truly possible,
00:14comes new gambling opportunities.
00:19Place your bets now.
00:21It's time to play Anzai!
00:31Anzai!
00:36Bunzai!
00:39Place your bets now!
00:49Man of Fire, War of Water!
00:53Two brave men of fire.
00:56Number one, he called Ken.
00:58He is young and strong,
01:00although experience is not on his side,
01:03as he is relatively new to the job.
01:07Fireman number two, he called Peter.
01:10He been fireman long time,
01:13and saved many cats from many trees.
01:15He also got a moustache like Magnum P.I.
01:20Both must fire their high power hose of water at each other.
01:25The first to fall is the loser.
01:28Strength, accuracy, and courage must be their friend
01:32if they are to triumph.
01:34So, who is going to be Ken or Pete?
01:38Ken or Pete?
01:40Ken or Pete?
01:41Ten feet!
01:43Place your bets now!
01:46Come on!
01:48Bet!
01:48Bet!
01:49Bet!
01:50Bet!
01:50Quick, quick, quick!
01:51That's it!
01:53Are you sure?
01:55Are you confident?
01:58No more bets!
02:03Here comes Lady to start battle. She's signaled to Ken. He's ready. She's signaled to Pete. He's also ready.
02:19Gentlemen, prepare to battle. Oh, look at Ken. He's already in trouble. So quick. And it's all over. Let's see
02:30what happens in slow motion. He's going down. He's hit the deck like a naughty sailor. Oh, no.
02:38Oh, no. Glory and honor to Mr. Peter. Go tell your next door neighbor that experience is once again victorious
02:48over youthful folly.
02:52Bensei.
02:54This Mr. Philip Tuflo. He's a top English cricketer who represents his country many times against great oppositions around the
03:04world.
03:04But that's not important. Question is, which one of these bottoms belongs to Mr. Tufnel?
03:18The proudest cricket man Conan Drum.
03:23Who you bet on? Is it number one? Peachy. Or number two? Cheeky.
03:31Could be number three? Huh? Spotty.
03:35Or number four? Blimey.
03:39Or maybe number five? Shiny.
03:43Which one you think?
03:46Place your bets now!
03:50Quick! Quick! Quick!
03:52Remember, tonight could be your night if you play your card right.
03:59Betting the end.
04:03If you went for backside number five?
04:06It's very nice, but it's not right.
04:10If you went for number four?
04:14You'd be the first for a very long time.
04:18If you said number two?
04:25Outstanding!
04:28Still lots of gambling opportunities to come on, Banzai.
04:32But first...
04:36Mr. Shake Hands Man!
04:41Mr. Shake Hands Man liked to shake hands with celebrity people for a long time.
04:47Last week, he shake hands with famous lesbian Anna from Big Brother for 94 seconds!
04:54But how long do you think he shake hands with Mr. Millionaire, Chris Talanto?
05:00No to 45 seconds?
05:0346 to 90 seconds?
05:0691 to 135 seconds?
05:09136 to 180 seconds?
05:12Or 181 to 225 seconds?
05:16So, what's it going to be?
05:20Place your bets now!
05:25Betting ends!
05:28Start the clock!
05:30I'm from a TV program called Banzai.
05:34Banzai?
05:34Yeah, means hooray!
05:36On the track, Banzai!
05:37It's something like you, you see?
05:38It's already called Banzai.
05:40Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:41It's getting on with the program.
05:43Come on!
05:44Banzai!
05:45So, what do you do for today's cricket match?
05:49Are you going to be a bowler or...?
05:51Well, no rounder, I think.
05:53All rounder, not very good.
05:54Oh, good, good!
05:55He nearly makes 30 seconds!
05:58He made it!
06:00These ladies are serious!
06:01Marvellous!
06:02They are serious!
06:03Come on, shake his hand, Mr. Shakehandman!
06:06Mr. Shakehandman!
06:08Mr. Shakehandman, not so much shaking Mr. Millionaire Chris Tarrant's hand, he more holding it.
06:13Ah, perhaps we call him Mr. Holdhandman from now on.
06:18We expect to have a done good job.
06:20But it's a good course, it's for charity, and that's why we're here.
06:23Yeah, exactly.
06:24Yeah, so how long have you been evolving this charity for?
06:28Oh, a long time.
06:29And in actual fact...
06:30Mr. Shakehandman looking safe for the moment?
06:33What?
06:33Okay.
06:34We keep our eye on him while we go and bet on something else.
06:48Oh, no, no, no.
06:50I don't know him.
06:52I don't know him.
06:53I don't know him.
07:06We also know that Fish from Meridian love to sing his big hit song called Kaylee.
07:13The question that is asked is, can Old Lady Margot drink a genuine half pint of sherry
07:19before musical introduction of the Kaylee song finished, and Fish starts singing?
07:25So, who in battle?
07:27Fishman or Old Lady?
07:29Fishman or Old Lady?
07:31Mr. Fishman or Old Lady?
07:34Spread your bets now!
07:37Come on!
07:38You not got much time left!
07:43Bedding ends!
07:46Let game commence!
07:48Old Lady pour the genuine sherry into half pint of glass and...
07:53Okay!
07:54The music has started!
07:56She better drink that sherry double quick.
07:58O, she's...
08:00phot...
08:00She was thirsty old lady.
08:03Oh, oh, oh, not good for Mr. Fishman.
08:07Outstanding drinking from old lady Margo.
08:11Wow.
08:11Oh, oh, so quick.
08:14She done it.
08:15She stopped the KD music before the singing bit started.
08:19Mr. Fishman never stood a chance.
08:21It's a total and utter mismatch.
08:24Banzai, apologize for this contest and gives you its assurance it will never happen again.
08:32How's Mr. Shakehandsman getting on?
08:36Banzai!
08:37Do you think you can give me some questions?
08:40What did you say?
08:41The what?
08:43Some questions to me.
08:45To you?
08:46Yeah, maybe I can...
08:48No, it doesn't work like that.
08:49You have to phone in.
08:51No, I'm not going to give you a million credit.
08:53You stupid Mr. Shakehandsman.
08:55No, no.
08:58Why not?
08:59Because it doesn't work like that, you have to phone in for...
09:01Come on, come on, Mr. Shakehandsman, come on.
09:05I just came for a game of cricket.
09:06No.
09:07Take care.
09:08Mr. Millionaire Man finally had enough.
09:11Oh, no!
09:14It's all over!
09:15If you say E, 181 to 225 seconds, you're a winner!
09:28We decided to give Mr. Fishman another chance to sing his Kaylee song.
09:33Once again, he must defeat his nemesis, Old Lady Margo.
09:38At top of stairs is the Marillion Man.
09:41At the bottom is his star-lift, Old Lady Tormentor.
09:46Question is, do you think Margo can make it up flight of 12 stairs and hit Big Red Button before
09:54Fish from Marillion start to sing his song?
09:56So, who you put your money on?
10:00Fishman or Old Lady?
10:03Fishman or Old Lady?
10:05Fishman or Old Lady?
10:09Face bets now!
10:11Time running out!
10:15Betting end!
10:17Time for Old Lady and Fishman to do battle!
10:21Contest will start as soon as music begins.
10:26And they are off!
10:28Old Lady moving quite slowly.
10:31Maybe Fish got chance this time?
10:33He already has the drum beat.
10:36Oh, what a entapena!
10:38But Margo closing in!
10:40Yes, Margo closing in!
10:41Will she make it?
10:42It very close.
10:44Very, very close indeed in it!
10:46Oh!
10:47Very close!
10:48Very close!
10:48Ah!
10:49It's all over!
10:51Margo stop him in his tracks!
10:54Let's see slow ascent of stairs again in slow motion.
10:59Margo at full stretch!
11:01It's all over for Fishman!
11:03Sorry!
11:04If you bet on the Old Lady, you bet on a winner.
11:08What a great advert for the game, she is!
11:14Banzai!
11:20That's all from Part 1, but still plenty more gambling opportunities in Part 2, including...
11:27Squirrel Fishing!
11:30The Mittery Mouth Lady Puzzle!
11:34And Ye Olde Supermarket Trolley Jousting Tournament!
11:38Banzai!
12:01The Mittery Mouth Lady Puzzle!
12:08Five nice ladies, but one hides a dark secret behind her smile.
12:14Look closely at the region of the mouth of each, for one is a metally-mouthed lady with
12:20braces on her teeth.
12:22Can you tell which one she is?
12:26Is it number one?
12:28What's you hiding, tight-lipped lady number one?
12:32Number two!
12:34Oh, also look a bit shifty.
12:39Does she have big teeth, or has she got a mouth of metal?
12:43Oh, maybe.
12:45Could be number four.
12:47She's very petty.
12:49If you give her a big kiss, would you end up with a staple on your tongue?
12:55Or is it number five?
12:57She looks very sad.
12:59She up, nice lady.
13:00It might never happen.
13:02Okay, ready.
13:03Time to put your money where your mouth is.
13:06One, two, three, four, or five.
13:10Press bet now.
13:13Bet, bet, bet.
13:16Remember, if you don't speculate, you don't accumulate.
13:23Betting ends.
13:27Mr. Cheeky Chappy managed to get his hands on this metal detector.
13:32It makes noise when it go near metal objects like keys or ladies with mouth full of metal
13:38tooth straighteners.
13:39So, if you said it was number two, you sadly mistaken.
13:48If you say number five, you also sad, because she got a very pretty smile.
13:57What do you say, number three?
14:01Well done.
14:03She's a lady with a metal teeth.
14:06A wise man once said, smile and the world smile with you.
14:11But in her case, it's not strictly true.
14:15What else we got?
14:17Banzai!
14:22The Old Lady Tower Torment.
14:29In this very tall building lives an old lady.
14:33She has most beautiful Princess Diana commemorative tea set with mud, teapot, and everything.
14:40Probably quite valuable, since Lady Di not around anymore.
14:44But that not matter, because old lady just chucked it out of window.
14:49I don't believe it!
14:52The question is, which floor do you think Diana Crocker chucked out of?
14:57Do you think it was...
14:59A. Sixth floor?
15:02B. Eighth floor?
15:05Or C. Fourteenth floor?
15:09Place your bets now!
15:14Come on, come on! Let's see your money!
15:19Bidding ends!
15:23So, which floor?
15:27Two, three, four, five, four!
15:31It's sixth floor!
15:33If you say six, you're a winner!
15:39An animal scientific experiment.
15:43Progress leads to knowledge.
15:46Knowledge leads to truth.
15:49The search for truth leads to...
15:55Squirrel fish!
15:57The animal scientists are investigating the possibility of lifting a squirrel off the ground
16:03using only fishing apparatus and nuts.
16:06Squirrel fish!
16:08Rules of squirrel fishing, very simple.
16:11Animal scientists must catch squirrels using only a fishing pole with nut tied to string as bait.
16:18When squirrels start to nibble on nut, animal scientists try and lift them off ground.
16:24The first squirrel to go up in the air is the winner.
16:28Remember, it don't count if they don't get squirrel up in the air.
16:33Understand?
16:34Good!
16:35Today's brave squirrel competitors are...
16:39Number one, the mighty Vangelis, the Squirrel.
16:46He's facing number two, the deadly Marzipan, the Squirrel.
16:56We'll be lifted off ground fast.
16:59Will it be Vangelis or Marzipan?
17:02Vangelis or Marzipan?
17:04Vangelis or Marzipan?
17:06Press bet now.
17:09Come on!
17:14Could be tasty.
17:17Betting end.
17:21It has begun.
17:22The fisherman has cast their nuts out.
17:25That temptation is inevitable.
17:26Come, come, come, come.
17:27Oh, you stupid squirrels.
17:30Yes, yes, he got it.
17:32Oh, pity.
17:33Pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity.
17:34Oh, try again, try again.
17:36Oh, yes.
17:37Now, pull it, pull it, pull it.
17:39Yes.
17:41Oh, no.
17:42It's a very difficult job, isn't it?
17:43To catch a squirrel is much like catching a monkey.
17:47You need patience and time, because even monkeys fall from trees.
17:52Oh, no.
17:53Squirrel, go the way.
17:55That doesn't mean you need to go up a tree to catch a monkey.
17:59Let the monkey come to you.
18:01No.
18:01Oh, what's happening with Vangelis?
18:04He's slaughtered a stay nut.
18:08Come on.
18:09Gently.
18:10Gently, does it.
18:12Squirrel must up in the air.
18:14Must up in the air.
18:15He can.
18:16He can.
18:16Yes.
18:17Yes.
18:17Yes.
18:18Squirrel up in the air.
18:18Up in the air.
18:19He's done it.
18:20Yes.
18:20He managed to get Vangelis, the squirrel, up in the air.
18:26Let's have another look at that flying squirrel.
18:36If you bet on Vangelis, you're the winner.
18:43Tramp beer temptation.
18:48We put a beer can down next to some dirty tramps.
18:51How long before they pick it up and guzzle it?
18:56Is it one?
18:57One, zero to 20 seconds.
19:00Two, 20 to 40 seconds.
19:04Three, 40 to 60 seconds.
19:07Place your bets now!
19:13Betting end.
19:18There's a beer can.
19:20We ringed it.
19:21Of course, Trump can't see a ring.
19:23Well, maybe he can.
19:25Depends on how many cans of tenant's super he has.
19:29Ha, ha, ha, ha.
19:30But seriously.
19:32No sign of any Trump.
19:35Hold your horses.
19:36Please.
19:37I can feel it coming in the air now.
19:41Where's the Trump?
19:44What's the Trump here?
19:45Where's Trump's?
19:47Come on, come on.
19:49Come on, Trump.
19:50Here come.
19:51Here come the guy.
19:52Oh.
19:53Notice.
19:55Here come.
19:55Here come the Trump.
19:56Trump.
19:56Stop the clock.
19:57Stop the clock.
19:58Stop it.
19:5840 seconds.
19:59So quick.
20:09The oldie supermarket trolley jousting tournament.
20:14Jousting is old English tradition.
20:17It has all that time itself.
20:19Tradition has it that a black knight must fight a white knight.
20:23I don't know why.
20:24I'm not a history expert.
20:27Today's white knight is called Lawrence.
20:29He from Bristol.
20:31He up against a black knight who call himself Tom.
20:34He come from Tokstest in Liverpool.
20:37Could be tasty.
20:38So who you think win victory in this car park of honor?
20:43Each must rise their supermarket trolley towards the other at great speed
20:47and attempt to push their opponent out of their trolley.
20:51If you fall, you lose.
20:53Understand?
20:54Good.
20:55So who you think be champion super market trolley joustman?
21:00Whitey or blacky?
21:02Whitey or blacky?
21:04Whitey or blacky?
21:08Gracious bets now.
21:11Come on.
21:12We don't have all day.
21:14Betting ends.
21:17Gentlemen, prepare to battle.
21:25The lady has dropped her hunky.
21:27Go!
21:28Yes!
21:29Now!
21:29Fight!
21:30Begin!
21:31Come on!
21:31Come on!
21:32Woo!
21:33Oh!
21:34Yes!
21:34Blacky is forward!
21:35Yes!
21:36Great!
21:36Black!
21:37Whitey is win!
21:37Whitey is...
21:38What's happened?
21:39What's happened, Whitey?
21:39Oh, now he's forward as well.
21:42Oh, silly boy.
21:44Why?
21:44What's he doing?
21:45What's he doing?
21:45He's so busy celebrating, he not noticed small tree creeping up from him.
21:50Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
21:52He he!
21:53He can't be able!
21:54Victory is an inconclusive second joustix.
21:58Here we go!
22:01Here they coming now!
22:02They crash!
22:03Whitey has fallen out of trolley and strolling all over carp up floor!
22:08Blacky is the winner!
22:10Yes!
22:11This is king of jousting trolley tournament!
22:15Congratulations, Black Knight called Tom from Togstead.
22:17You got a hand of nice banzai lady.
22:20Maybe you can take her out to pictures or something.
22:24I don't know.
22:25It's just a suggestion.
22:27Ha ha ha ha!
22:32Banzai!
22:37Next week on Banzai...
22:39The Riddle of Talking Turkey Man!
22:46And...
22:47Fat Twins on Small Bikes!
22:51Till Next Time!
22:53Benzei!
23:17YORU NA NO SA!
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