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00:00Banzai!
00:04Play at home fun.
00:07From a land where anything is truly possible,
00:10comes new gambling opportunities.
00:14Place your bets now.
00:16It's time to play Banzai!
00:23Banzai!
00:31Banzai!
00:34Place your bets now!
00:42Don't go poo stinky shoe showdown!
00:47These two men are businessmen
00:49who are big rivals in the big world of big business.
00:53Trouble is, this town is not big enough for the both of them.
00:57So, today the differences will be settled with bare feet.
01:02These are six handsome businessmen shoes.
01:06Although they look very comfortable and shiny,
01:09one shoe hides a dark brown secret.
01:11Mr. Cheeky Chappie has filled the toes with genuine dog droppings.
01:17Ooh, a stinky poo, eh?
01:19Businessmen will take it in turns to select a shoe for their foot.
01:23Game ends.
01:24When one man is left as brown-toed loser,
01:27who gets the poo?
01:29Jump home or fret?
01:31Jump home or fret?
01:33Place your bets now!
01:34You pick the shoe that could open pool!
01:37Buy!
01:38Buy!
01:38Buy!
01:39Sell!
01:39Sell!
01:40Sell!
01:40Just bet!
01:41Bet!
01:42Bet!
01:43Betting ends!
01:47Mr. John Paul is first to choose.
01:49Good luck, John Paul.
01:51May your God be with you.
01:54He has chosen.
01:55He slides his foot in.
01:59Pulls out!
02:00It's clear!
02:02Quality shoe choosings.
02:04Pressure now on Mr. Fred.
02:06Looking carefully.
02:08He's choosing shoe number four.
02:12Is it safe, Fred?
02:14Is it?
02:15Is the foot stuck or something?
02:17Oh no, it's clean!
02:20He's very proud.
02:21There is sudden shoe theft waiting to happen here.
02:25He's sniffing around for clean shoe selection.
02:29He go for number two.
02:31But is there a number two hiding inside it?
02:35Oh, he okay!
02:37Ooh, lucky guy.
02:39Three shoes are left.
02:40Pressure on Mr. Fred.
02:42He picking number six and trying it on for size.
02:47Oh no!
02:49He not look happy!
02:50He got to pull it out!
02:53Oh no!
02:58Mr. Fred has bought the poo shoe!
03:01If you bet on Fred wearing the poo shoe,
03:05then congratulations!
03:06You are a winner!
03:08Mr. John Paul is delighted!
03:09Yeah!
03:17Still lots of gambling opportunities to come on Banzai!
03:21But first...
03:28Banzai!
03:30Lady one question!
03:32Lady one question!
03:34Lady one question!
03:34Lady one question!
03:34Like to say absolutely nothing to celebrity people for long time.
03:40Last time, she managed to say absolutely nothing to Monty Python man, Mr. Terry Gilliam for 23 seconds, before he
03:49finally make his excuses and leave.
03:51The question is, after one question, how long can Lady one question remain silent for in the company of Prime
03:59Watchman, Mr. Nick Ross?
04:02How long will the Crime Stopper stay around for, eh?
04:05Will it be A?
04:070 to 15 seconds?
04:09B?
04:0916 to 30 seconds?
04:11Or C?
04:1231 to 45 seconds?
04:15Face bets now!
04:17Come on!
04:18Come on!
04:18Move it!
04:18If you do what I tell you, then no one gonna get hurt!
04:22So bet!
04:22Now!
04:23Understand?
04:24Good!
04:27Okay, Gov!
04:27Target in position!
04:29I'm from Channel 4, and I'm just wondering what you are being up to today?
04:33Start the clock!
04:34Try and try to get here through the traffic most of today, it seems.
04:44Okay?
04:48Okay?
04:49Okay, I'll see you on the way out.
04:51He going?
04:52He going?
04:53He going?
04:53He's still going?
04:55I'm looking!
04:56He's gone!
04:58Stop the track!
04:59What is it?
05:00How long?
05:0123 seconds!
05:03If you say B, 16 to 30 seconds, I'm looking!
05:06You are the winner!
05:09Trivendous!
05:18The Funny Man Funny Voice Conundrum!
05:22This man is Funny Man, Mr. Joe Pasquale!
05:26People like to laugh at him for having a squeaky high voice.
05:30But he not want his stupid high voice.
05:33He wants a low, sexy voice that make women go crazy!
05:37Wishes really can come true!
05:40All he need to do is say the word,
05:43Bergerac!
05:44Seven times!
05:45For Banzai magic to begin!
05:47So, in your own time, Mr. Joe!
05:51Bergerac!
05:53Bergerac!
05:55Bergerac!
05:57Bergerac!
06:01Bergerac!
06:03Bergerac!
06:04Oh!
06:05What's happening?
06:06It's Banzai magic!
06:08Oh!
06:11Bergerac!
06:12Oh!
06:13Now we are talking, Mr. Joe!
06:15You now have a new sexy voice!
06:17Congratulations!
06:19Question is, if it take Joe 13 seconds to say Bergerac seven times in his normal squeaky voice,
06:27how long will it take him to say Bergerac seven times with his new low sexy voice?
06:35Bergerac!
06:36Will it be?
06:38A, 15 to 20 seconds!
06:40B, 21 to 25 seconds!
06:43C, 26 to 30 seconds!
06:46Or D, 31 to 35 seconds!
06:51Pressure bets now!
06:53Come on!
06:54Don't just sit there and do something!
06:56I'm running!
06:57I'm running out!
06:58You bit!
06:59Breaking the end!
07:01Okay!
07:03Pasqually man!
07:04Begin your Bergeracs!
07:07Start the clock!
07:08One!
07:11Oh, jumbo!
07:14Bergerac!
07:15Two!
07:16Approaching third Bergerac!
07:18Bergerac!
07:19Your mother must be so proud of you!
07:23That's four now!
07:25One more, please!
07:28Bergerac!
07:29Versus King Kong!
07:30Ah, yeah!
07:32Six!
07:33One more, please!
07:36Stop the clock!
07:37It's all over!
07:40How long?
07:41How long on the clock?
07:4229 seconds!
07:45Fantastic detective name calling!
07:47C!
07:47If you say C!
07:4926 to 30 seconds!
07:51You are the winner!
07:53Woohoo!
07:54Bonsai!
07:55Bonsai!
07:55Bonsai!
07:56Bonsai!
07:58No!
08:00The fantastic Mr. Mills Fast Food Ratter!
08:07This man is Mr. Adrian Mills!
08:10A long time ago, he fought on the side of good as a consumer champion on program called...
08:17That's life!
08:18But that's history!
08:20Because now Mr. Adrian has gone over to the dark side!
08:25Today, he like nothing better than to rip people off in his very own fast food shop!
08:32Especially stupid foreign tourist people!
08:36Oh, look!
08:37It's hungry tourist ladies!
08:40Ladies, hi there!
08:41Can I help you?
08:42What day, what day?
08:43Chicken and chips!
08:44Is that one chicken and chips, two chicken and chips?
08:47Two chicken and chips!
08:48Okay!
08:49Question here is...
08:50How much will he get them to cough up for two chicken and chips?
08:54Will it be...
08:55A. Under 10 pounds!
08:57B. Between 11 pounds and 20 pounds!
09:00C. Between 21 pounds and 30 pounds!
09:04D. Between 31 pounds and 40 pounds!
09:07C. O. E.
09:0841 pounds and over!
09:11C. Place bets now!
09:13C. Yummy, yummy, yummy!
09:15They got overpriced food in my tummy!
09:17C. How much?
09:18C. What do you take me for, eh?
09:19A monkey or something?
09:21C. Betting ends!
09:22C. Betting ends!
09:23C. Okay, chicken and chips, here they come!
09:25C. Extra large portions for waiting!
09:28C. Fast food is now ready!
09:30C. How much will Mr. Adrian Mills charge for two chicken and chips?
09:35C. Do you want any salt or anything?
09:37C. So that's, eh...
09:38C. 20, 30...
09:39C. 32, 33, 33, 35...
09:40C. Unbelievable!
09:42C. They so stupid!
09:43C. 36!
09:44C. 36 pounds!
09:46C. Excellent purse pickings!
09:49C. 36 pounds!
09:50C. He's so greedy!
09:52C. He...
09:52C. He asking for more!
09:54C. That's, eh...
09:55C. 37, 10...
09:57C. Nearly there!
09:57C. That's good!
09:58C. 40 pounds!
09:59C. 50 pence!
10:00C. 60 pence!
10:01C. 70 pence!
10:02C. That's, eh...
10:03C. 43 pounds!
10:05C. Fantastic counting tactics!
10:08C. Mr. Mills, you really have no shame, do you, eh?
10:11C. 48 pounds!
10:14C. That's good!
10:15C. That's good!
10:15C. 49!
10:16C. 50!
10:17C. 50!
10:18C. Any more?
10:19C. Can I eat?
10:20C. Fantastic!
10:21C. Great!
10:21C. No, no, no, no, no, no.
10:22C. You keep that.
10:23C. That's a tip for you.
10:24C. 50 pounds.
10:26C. Thank you very much.
10:27C. Eat all over!
10:29C. Thank you.
10:29C. I'll just go and spend this now.
10:30C. Two chicken and the chips!
10:32C. 50 pounds!
10:33C. 50 pounds!
10:35C. Outstanding goal!
10:37C. Overcharging!
10:38C. Salt?
10:39C. If you said
10:40C. Eat 41 pounds and over,
10:43C. You are winner!
10:45C. Thank you, Mr. Mills!
10:46Tell me, how much do you want for your grandmother exactly?
10:51But seriously, how much?
11:01Many more gambling opportunities still to come on Banzai, including...
11:07The Ten Commandments of Modern Dance Decision.
11:10The Genuine Gimp Gamble of Great Lust.
11:14And Mr. Shake Huntsman 2.
11:17End of cut run.
11:20Us.
11:29Thunder.
11:31Flash a bit now.
11:37The Genuine Gimp Gamble of Great Lust.
11:41These men are genuine gimp men.
11:45They, the lucky finalists in the Gimp of the Year Championships.
11:51The prize for the winning gimp is very special indeed.
11:56They will have their feet rubbed very hard with brief cheese grater by this celebrity lady.
12:02Oh, it's Miss Penny Smith from GMTV.
12:06That's amazing.
12:08She, the judge and jury here.
12:10So, question is, which gimp geezer will she award the ultimate gimp accolade to?
12:15Yeah!
12:18Could the winner be Gimp A?
12:20He call himself Mr. Zip.
12:23Oh, look at the state of him.
12:26Ha, ha, ha.
12:26Or, could it be masked middle gimp called Mr. Peter?
12:31Oh, matron.
12:33Maybe it's third gimp man.
12:36He call himself Mr. Richard?
12:38The cheeky rascal?
12:40Ha, ha, ha, ha.
12:41So, which of the three do you think it will be?
12:45Who will walk away with Penny Smith's cheese grated feet?
12:50Precepts now!
12:51Don't keep Mrs. Penny waiting.
12:54Don't make her angry.
12:56You won't like her when she's angry.
12:59Betting ends.
13:01Time for pervert's prize giving to begin.
13:06This year's winning gimp of the year is...
13:10Gimp!
13:11He got gimp gold!
13:14Mrs. Penny, do your worst, please.
13:18Oh, ha, ha.
13:20What a bad boy!
13:22She really putting her back into it, yeah?
13:25She's so professional!
13:28Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
13:39The Ten Commandments of Modern Dance Decision.
13:43These people are God's very own dance troupe.
13:46Today, they will be performing a piece inspired by one of his Ten Commandments.
13:52Hmm, interesting.
13:54All you have to do is identify which commandment they're preaching.
13:59Will it be?
14:00A. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
14:03B. Thou shalt not kill.
14:06Or C. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ox.
14:11Okay.
14:12Time for Old Testament teaser to commence.
14:17It has begun.
14:19So graceful.
14:21So supple.
14:22What's he doing?
14:23Holding his trousers up?
14:25You forgot your belt, fella.
14:27Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
14:28But what they trying to tell us, eh?
14:30What is it?
14:31Absolutely nothing.
14:32That's war!
14:35Apparently, God moves in mysterious ways.
14:39After today, we know he move in a rubbish way.
14:44Final posings now. Almost.
14:47That's it! God's work is done.
14:51Okay, question here is, what were they preaching in their performance?
14:55What commandment, A?
14:57Was it A. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
15:01B. Thou shalt not kill.
15:04Or C. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ox.
15:09Place bet now!
15:11Oh, do the hokey-cokey!
15:13Oh, do the hokey-cokey!
15:14Do the hippie-hippie-shakied baby!
15:17Oh, the funky gibbon evil!
15:19Betting ends.
15:21Okay, dancer disciples.
15:24Please reveal commandment, please.
15:27Tension mounting?
15:29Oh, it's A.
15:30Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
15:34If you said A, you write on the money, mister.
15:38You, the king of commandment kings.
15:40Hallelujah! Praise the lord!
15:45Thank you, dancing people.
15:47I've just got two words for you.
15:49Starlight Express!
15:51Ha ha ha ha ha!
15:54Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
15:59Ha ha ha ha ha!
16:00Two world champion boxing men.
16:04This man, is Mr. Steve Collins!
16:07This man, is Mr. Nigel Ben!
16:11Today, Panzer is brought them back together for one last time to take a shot at the title we call…
16:24The Biscuit Boxing Championship of the World!
16:28Rules of boxing biscuit battle, very simple.
16:32Each boxer must select a biscuit and hold it in a cup of genuine tea without it breaking.
16:38As soon as biscuit is pulled from cup, the clock will stop.
16:43However, biscuit must remain whole for a further three seconds out of the liquid.
16:48Any breakage will lead to instant biscuit disqualification.
16:53Understand? Good.
16:55So, which boxer will be the WBBCW champion?
17:00Who will be king of the biscuit ring?
17:03Ben or Collins?
17:04One more two! This one or that one!
17:08Come on! No one gonna get hurt here!
17:11It's not a blood spot, it's a biscuit spot!
17:14Better in the ends!
17:16Okay! Mr. Ben will be the first to go!
17:21His biscuit of dunking choice is a chocolate digestive!
17:24Silence, please!
17:27Seconds out!
17:29Start the clock!
17:30Oh, yes! Good confident dunking!
17:34Come on! Come on!
17:36Mr. Ben, as cool as a cucumber!
17:39Looking so strong!
17:40But caution! Always caution!
17:43Come on, Nigel! Must pull out soon!
17:46It's getting heavier and heavier! Soggyer and soggyer!
17:49Must be out soon!
17:51Now!
17:52I must hold for three seconds!
17:55Yes!
17:55He got it!
17:57He scored twenty seconds!
18:00Okay!
18:01Mr. Steve Collins, biscuit of choice, will be a rich team!
18:05He must beat twenty seconds to be crowned biscuit world champion!
18:10Yo!
18:11Hey!
18:12He away!
18:14This is impossible!
18:16It all won nothing!
18:19The gloves are really off now!
18:22Will his biscuit bring him glory?
18:24Or will it all end in rich tea tears?
18:26Now he must go past twenty to win!
18:29Approaching fast!
18:31Eighteen! Nineteen!
18:33Twenty!
18:34Steve!
18:35Clean it out, Steve!
18:37Yes!
18:37Yes!
18:38Will it all end?
18:39Will it?
18:40Yes!
18:41He done it!
18:43He beat the biscuit on Ben!
18:45Yeah!
18:46Look at him eating it!
18:47Right in Nigel's face!
18:51Congratulations, Mr. Steve!
18:53You are undisputed biscuit champion of the world!
19:04Mr. Shake Handsman 2!
19:08Mr. Shake Handsman 2 liked to shake hands with celebrity people for long time!
19:15Last time, he shake hands with Mrs. Angelica Houston for sixty-nine seconds!
19:22Today, Mr. Shake Handsman 2 must shake hands with Mr. Mrs. Thora Butch!
19:28Question is, how long will Mr. Shake Handsman 2 shake hands with Lady called Thora for?
19:34Will it be?
19:36A.
19:36Zero to thirty seconds!
19:38B.
19:39Thirty-one to sixty seconds!
19:41C.
19:42Sixty-one to ninety seconds!
19:44D.
19:45Ninety-one to a hundred and twenty seconds!
19:47Or E.
19:48A hundred and twenty-one seconds and over!
19:51Press your bet now!
19:53Choose from A to E!
19:55How long he be with American Beauty!
19:57Fitting edge!
19:59Oh!
20:00Start the clock!
20:02Where are we?
20:03Oh!
20:04Good start!
20:05Strong grippings already!
20:09Shake Handsman 2 has really got his confidence back!
20:12Ghost World!
20:14Please tell us your role in Ghost World!
20:19Oh!
20:20Finally she talking!
20:22She very polite young lady!
20:24Mmm!
20:26He playing her like a celebrity fiddle out there!
20:33This bread and butter shaking today!
20:35Just get the result!
20:38Bangla in the shaking net my son!
20:39Working with Mary and Steve Buscemi and the other cast members and just bringing about to life this...
20:45These are very good conditions for him today!
20:48They're not a soul out there!
20:50Make the most of it!
20:52Just hold on!
20:53And shake that lady's hand.
20:56How is it to be a comic book?
21:02He's so boring.
21:04Listen to it.
21:08It has to be said that though technically this is an outstanding shaking,
21:14it's very boring to watch, isn't it?
21:16Let's see what gambling opportunities we've got in store next time.
21:21A walking minstrel line-up.
21:24What is that?
21:25Five minstrel men.
21:27But one of them is a genuine black man.
21:30Wow, very stylish.
21:32But why are they waving though?
21:33Stop it! Stop!
21:35Harry Nutkin's refrigerator refreshment.
21:38Oh, it's the animal man.
21:40What's he up to these days?
21:42Mr. Nutkin's got a fridge full of very cheap booze.
21:46Question is, which booze will he use for his own refreshment?
21:49Very tasty, eh, Terry-man?
21:52Finish it!
21:55The sinful skater selection!
21:57Is it that one?
21:59Not now.
21:59It is, isn't it?
22:00Shh!
22:01But it's obvious!
22:03I told you!
22:05She rubbish!
22:06Let's see how Mr. Shake Hands Man 2 is getting on.
22:10Oh, blimey cranky all righty!
22:13There could be some shaking history about to be made here!
22:17Ha ha ha!
22:18Keep an eye on that clock!
22:20Dora lady!
22:21Can't quite believe it!
22:23And quite frankly, neither can I!
22:25Look at her!
22:27She really had enough!
22:28So bored of rubbish interview!
22:31Hang in there, big man!
22:33Keep her talking!
22:33What's happening?
22:35Hold it, Mr. Shake Hands Man!
22:37Hold it!
22:37Shake it!
22:38Oh, come on!
22:39Come on!
22:39Just a few seconds more!
22:41Yes!
22:42Yes!
22:43No!
22:44Oh!
22:44It's all over!
22:45Hard away!
22:47Oh, I'll believe it!
22:50A hundred and sixty-three seconds!
22:54They said you are finished!
22:56Wrong!
22:57They said you are history!
22:59Double wrong!
23:00They said you are fact!
23:02Very true, actually!
23:04Ha ha ha ha!
23:10Banzai!
23:14That's all from Banzai this week!
23:16Till next time!
23:18Banzai!
23:20Kino no koi wa wa surete
23:23Kino no ano ko wa wa surete
23:26Ontori tuzukete hitai
23:29Yoru na no sa
23:33Nigai namida o wa surete
23:36Nipui ano ko wa wa surete
23:39Ontori tuzukete hitai
23:42Yoru na no sa
23:45Skisaga
23:46Skisaga
23:48Skisaga
23:50Skisaga
23:50Skisaga
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