- 2 days ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:09Play at home fun.
00:12From a land where anything is truly possible, comes new gambling opportunities.
00:19Place your bets now. It's time to play Ranzai.
00:36Ranzai.
00:38Place your bets now.
00:47Lime Cockney Conundrum.
00:53Five London gentlemen from the East End.
00:56One is genuine acquaintance of famous criminal Kray twins.
01:01The other four are big time Cockney liars.
01:03Can you spot the man who really knew Roger and Ronnie Kray?
01:10Is it number one?
01:12I'm Dawson Danny and I knew the Krays.
01:16What about burly bloke number two?
01:19I am hurried a horse and I knew the Krays.
01:24Next up is a little fella.
01:26What's your name little fella?
01:28I'm Little Eggs Murphy and I knew the Krays.
01:32Ooh number four!
01:34What's your name number four if you don't mind me asking sir?
01:38I'm General Mick and I knew the Krays.
01:41Quick number five.
01:42What's your name Cockney man number five?
01:45They call me the Fox and I knew the Krays.
01:49Ooh!
01:50So, who you think?
01:52Mr. One, Mr. Two, Mr. Three, Mr. Four or Mr. Five?
01:57Place your bets now.
01:59Come on you slag, sort it out.
02:02Oh blimey, what's the damage though?
02:04You what?
02:05You having a laugh ain't ya?
02:08Bidding end!
02:12So, who the man who knew the Kray twins?
02:15If you said number two.
02:19You are having a laugh ain't ya?
02:22Look at the straight and the arrow.
02:25Let's try little fella number three.
02:28If you went for him.
02:30You slag.
02:31Little Eggs Murphy wouldn't hurt a fly.
02:35So, who the real Kray man?
02:37This is at number five.
02:41You are the winner!
02:44Lovely jabbly!
02:45Ha ha ha!
02:50Still lots of gambling opportunities to come on Banzai.
02:54But first...
02:56This is a washing machine.
02:59This is Mr. Andy Kray who used to be on the telly.
03:03Alone they are nothing.
03:05But together they make very interesting Banzai pet.
03:08Called...
03:09Andy Krayn Spin Cycle Rodeo.
03:15Rules of domestic appliance gamble quite simple.
03:19Mr. Andy Krayn places two objects on top of washing machine.
03:23For example, a novelty hat and a funny toy monkey.
03:28Ha ha!
03:30He then set the machine on super speed cycling attempt to shake object onto the ground.
03:35Object which stays on top of backing washing machine the longest is the winner.
03:41Understand?
03:41Good!
03:44First contest between two tiny boy members of pop group Steps.
03:49And the mighty Scrabble.
03:51The once living but now dead cat.
03:55So, who will hold on longest?
03:57The plastic pop stars?
03:59Or the silent but deadly Scrabble the cat?
04:01Place your bits!
04:03Now!
04:04Come on!
04:06What you waiting for?
04:07Who you going to plan for?
04:09Quick!
04:09Quick!
04:10Mathimate bits!
04:12Okay!
04:12No more bits!
04:15Okay, Mr. Andy.
04:17Will you please start the spin cycle?
04:24Oh!
04:26Facial mounting!
04:28Machine building of power!
04:29Oh yeah!
04:31You got the vibration!
04:32Ha ha ha!
04:33Steps are off!
04:34Already!
04:36If you say Scrabble would be victorious, then congratulations!
04:41Time for round two!
04:43We have two more contestants.
04:45They are...
04:47A packet of egg noodles containing two to three servings.
04:51And a large family plastic bottle of talcum powder.
04:55Which will make it to grand final.
04:57Will it be the egg noodles?
04:59Or the talcum powder?
05:01Noodles?
05:02Or talc?
05:03Ah!
05:08Place bits now!
05:11Will it be the egg noodles?
05:13Or the talcum powder?
05:15Come on!
05:16Come on!
05:16Quick!
05:16Bit!
05:19Okay!
05:21No more bits!
05:25Any minute now, its true power will be unleashed!
05:32There it goes!
05:33Oh!
05:34Noodles have falling off!
05:35Eat all over!
05:38If you guessed right, you are a winner!
05:41Ah!
05:43Congratulations, big packet of talcum!
05:45You have earned your place in the final!
05:48Okay!
05:49What else we got?
05:53Bantai!
05:55These men are Gimps!
05:58A Gimp is a man who likes to dress in rubber and to do as he told!
06:02We all fought that, so we told them to take part in our special contest!
06:07It's called...
06:11The Gimp Water Spook Battle!
06:15Each Gimp will race against clock down Banzai Water Luge Course!
06:19Whichever Gimp gets to bottom quickest is the winner!
06:23Understand?
06:24Good!
06:27Gimp Number One!
06:29He called Tony the Gimp!
06:31He's civil servant by day!
06:33And Gimp by night!
06:35Gimp Number Two!
06:36He's a Gimp with no name!
06:39No one knows where he comes from or what he do!
06:42He like a Gimp enigma or something!
06:45Question is...
06:46Which Gimp will be quicker on Banzai Luge Course?
06:50The Black Gimp with no name!
06:53Or...
06:54Red Gimp called Tony!
06:55Come on!
06:56What's your favorite Gimp?
06:58Place your bets now!
07:00Come on!
07:01Put your money on the sleeping worms!
07:04They don't mind!
07:05They love it!
07:07So...
07:07Bet!
07:08Bet!
07:08Bet!
07:11Betting ends!
07:17Time for Gimp to do battles!
07:20First goal!
07:20First goal is Tony!
07:22He own his marks!
07:23He getting set!
07:26One!
07:27Two!
07:27Go!
07:28Go!
07:28Go!
07:29Oh!
07:29Champagne!
07:30Yes!
07:30So quick!
07:31Yes!
07:31Here we go!
07:32Tony go!
07:32Tony go!
07:33Let's go!
07:33Let's go!
07:34Go!
07:34Go!
07:34Go!
07:35Go!
07:35Go!
07:35Go!
07:36Very quick!
07:36In it!
07:37Here he comes!
07:38Stop the clock!
07:39Ten point sixty four seconds!
07:42Wow!
07:42So quick!
07:44Very expert Slashdowns from the gimp in red!
07:47A very tricky time to beat!
07:49Black Gimp!
07:50Next to go!
07:52No!
07:52You're marks!
07:53One...
07:54Two...
07:55Go!
07:56Go!
07:56Yes!
07:57Very quick!
07:58Go!
07:59Go, go, go, go!
08:00Oh, fantastic technique!
08:02Yes, very good, very sick!
08:04And go to jumping!
08:06Look at the time!
08:0710 seconds exactly!
08:10Congratulations, GIMP with no name!
08:13You have brought glory and honor to that bunch of freaks you call friends!
08:18Now, get back to the cellar where you belong!
08:26Banzai!
08:30This specky lady called Anna!
08:36This specky bloke called John!
08:40Both are blind as bats!
08:42Especially when they take off their glasses!
08:45Which is a good thing, cause we need them to play!
08:52The Short Sighted Song Shouting Tournament!
08:57Rules of Tournament, quite simple!
09:00Both competitors must first choose a pair of celebrity glasses to wear instead of their own!
09:06They must then stare into distance and try to read the name of a famous song written on a card
09:13moving slowly toward them!
09:14First person to shout out phrase is the winner!
09:18Understand?
09:19No!
09:19Good!
09:29No!
09:43Good!
09:44No!
09:45No!
09:45No!
09:46No!
09:47No!
09:48It's a very difficult decision, Henning!
09:50If you don't understand what you're betting on, don't worry!
09:55Just say anything! Come on!
09:58Betting ends!
10:01It is time!
10:03Start now!
10:05Oh-ho! Both squeeting!
10:12Come on! Must sit now!
10:16Must sit!
10:18Oh! It's Union of the Snake!
10:22Blimey! These people got really bad eyes!
10:26Surely!
10:28Union of the Snake!
10:29Oh, yes! She got it!
10:32Let's have another look in slow motion!
10:36Union of the Snake!
10:40If you bet on her, you are a winner!
10:49Banzai!
10:51The Andy Crane Speed Cycle Rodeo has reached its epic climax!
10:56There can only be one winner!
11:00Who will be the ultimate champion?
11:02Falcon Powder or Scrubble the Cat!
11:06Great! Betta!
11:09Come on! It's the final bet for the final showdown!
11:13Remember! You've got to be in it to win it!
11:18Okay! That's it!
11:20Bedding ends!
11:23We wait!
11:24And wait!
11:26And wait!
11:28And wait!
11:28Come on!
11:31And we are off!
11:32They are jiggling around!
11:34The powder has fallen over!
11:36Oh, look!
11:37Scrubble the Cat is in danger!
11:39Hang on, Scrubble!
11:40Hang on!
11:42Oh, no!
11:44The Taruka Powder has fallen!
11:46Scrubble the Dead Cat is the winner!
11:48He has snatched the victory quite literally from beyond the grave!
11:52That was a great example to any youngster watching at home!
11:57Banzai!
12:02Still to come on, Banzai!
12:05Lots more gambling opportunity, including...
12:08The state-sponsored Brittany Bet!
12:11Egg Roulette with Go West!
12:14And Mr. Shake Hands Man!
12:17Banzai!
12:19Banzai!
12:20And, top one!
12:27Banzai!
12:29Banzai!
12:30Banzai!
12:30Blaze your bets now!
12:32Banzai!
12:36Banzai!
12:38The state-sponsored Brittany Bet!
12:41Banzai!
12:42Banzai!
12:43Eeeem!
12:45Five nice ladies all look a little bit like sexy singer Miss Britney Spears.
12:51One is genuine looky-likey and sound-alikey,
12:54who genuinely gets money from Mr. Tony Blair Government to be like Miss Spears.
13:00Can you believe it?
13:02Other four just normal ladies dare to deceive.
13:05Question is, who is the genuine Britney Spears impersonator?
13:10Is it number one?
13:11Mmm, very nice.
13:15Maybe at number two, is she the real fake Britney?
13:19I hope so.
13:21Could be number three.
13:24Oh, baby, baby.
13:27What about number four?
13:29Looking tasty.
13:32Or is it number five?
13:35Obviously better.
13:38Anyway, can you tell who is the real state-sponsored Britney?
13:44Press bets now.
13:46Come on.
13:47Hit me, baby, one more time.
13:49Show me how it's going to be.
13:51Bet, bet, bet.
13:55Betting ends.
13:58So, who is the genuine Britney Spears impersonator?
14:03If you say number two.
14:06You're wrong.
14:07She's not the one.
14:08If you say number three.
14:11Oops.
14:11You did it again.
14:13She also not the one.
14:14If you say number four.
14:18You are a winner.
14:22Oh, I say.
14:25Lovely.
14:27Something wasn't right.
14:33Banzai.
14:38Mr. Shake Hands Man.
14:44Mr. Shake Hands Man likes to shake hands with celebrity people for a long time.
14:53Last time, he managed to shake hands with Mr. Dick for 52 seconds, which is mildly disappointing.
15:00But how long do you think he's shake hands with long-for-bottom presenter, Mrs. Floella Benjamin for?
15:08Or will it be A, under 30 seconds?
15:12B, 31 to 60 seconds?
15:15Or C, 61 to 120 seconds?
15:19Place your bets now.
15:22Bet, bet, bet, bet.
15:24Come on, now, now, now.
15:27Betting ends.
15:31Okay, Mr. Shake Hands Man.
15:33Starts the clock!
15:34I'm going to channel four.
15:36Yeah, it's good.
15:36It's good shaking.
15:38Rhythm is nice.
15:38I adore your hairstyle.
15:40Oh, thank you very much.
15:42How do you look after yourself?
15:44Oh, as usual.
15:46It's bowling conversation.
15:48No, no, no.
15:49Do you work out sometimes?
15:50Work out?
15:51Yeah.
15:52Well, when I do the marathon, I can't believe.
15:53Oh, yeah, I know.
15:55So how long do you ride?
15:57Well, America is 26 miles.
16:00So when I'm training, I sort of tend to do that at an hour.
16:02Of course, is that for a good course?
16:05Oh, yes, I do for a good hour, it's children.
16:07Oh, good, good.
16:08Your hands are shaking.
16:09Yes, buddy, with you.
16:11Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
16:13Still going.
16:14Oh, tricky.
16:16Very tricky.
16:16But still going.
16:17Still shaking.
16:18Oh, yes, come back.
16:20Please come back.
16:20Great, great.
16:22He's good.
16:22He's good.
16:23He's good.
16:24Grip, grip the, grip the hand, Mr. Second Man.
16:27It's loose, loose.
16:29Come back, come back.
16:31Yeah, yes.
16:32Good.
16:32Well done, well done.
16:34You, you come back again.
16:35Yeah.
16:36All right, thank you.
16:37Oh, that's it.
16:38Pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity, pity.
16:40What time we go?
16:4264 seconds.
16:44If you said, see, 61 to 120 seconds, you are a winner.
16:56Banzai.
16:56Banzai.
16:58This man called Peter.
17:00This man called Richard.
17:02Together, they are 80s pop sensation Go West.
17:07Sadly, the 90s have not been kind to them,
17:11and they are now reduced to playing deadly sport against each other
17:15for gambling enjoyment of Banzai.
17:17Today, they risk everything over a game we call
17:22Egg Smash Roulette with Go West.
17:27Six eggs have been placed on the wheel of misfortune.
17:32Five of them are hard-boiled,
17:34but one of them still retains its full runny, yolky magnificence.
17:39Go West must take it in turn to pick up egg
17:42and smash it in their face.
17:43They must continue until one is left with runny egg all over his face.
17:49He's a loser.
17:51But which Go West man will it be?
17:54Will it be Boldy One Peter?
17:56Or Hairy One Richard?
17:58Boldy Pete?
18:00Or Hairy Rich?
18:01Boldy or Hairy?
18:03Place bets now.
18:05Which you think it'd be?
18:07Which West do you reckon the best?
18:09Come on, come on.
18:10Pick, pick, pick.
18:12Hurry, hurry.
18:14Matching ends.
18:16Old Lady spins the wheel of misfortune.
18:20Mr. Peter, first pick.
18:23Come on, Mr. Peter.
18:24Be brave.
18:26Smash the egg.
18:28Oh, he lucky.
18:30He got the hard one.
18:32Now is the turn of Mr. Richard.
18:35Will he end up with egg on his face?
18:38He had chosen.
18:40Come on, Richard.
18:43No, he's also lucky.
18:46It's a hard egg.
18:47Next round.
18:49Four eggs left.
18:51Three are safe.
18:53Will Mr. Peter stay lucky?
18:56Here we go.
18:59Come on.
19:01Oh, he's okay, ha-ha.
19:05Once again, the wheel is turned on Mr. Richard.
19:10Courage must be his friend.
19:12Will good fortune also shine upon him?
19:16Tash of Mountain?
19:18Yes, he also came.
19:21Yes, he also came.
19:22Now down to last two eggs.
19:25Outcome of gamble rests on Mr. Peter's next move.
19:31He has chosen his final egg.
19:34Good luck, Mr. Peter.
19:36Come on.
19:38Oh, it hurts.
19:41He's a winner.
19:43Wait.
19:44Still one egg left.
19:46Will Mr. Richard do the honorable thing and follow his eggy sword?
19:51Come on, Mr. Richard.
19:53You must do it for the sake of light entertainment.
19:56Do it.
19:57Do it.
19:58Oh, nothing.
20:00Oh, he got bloody egg all over his face.
20:07Mr. Richard know that he didn't live by the egg.
20:10He must also die by the hand.
20:23This man is a genuine copy.
20:26This man, also a genuine copy.
20:30Obviously, fans like cannot reveal true identity of these men.
20:34So, for sake of this game, we call young one Craig David.
20:40And older one, Brian May from Queen.
20:48The battle of the dishonorable motor car celebrity bandits.
20:54Craig David and Brian May both must select a car
20:58and then use all their skill to nick it before anyone notices it.
21:03Question is, who will be the first to drive away with stolen car?
21:08Will it be Craig David or Brian May?
21:11Craig David or Brian May?
21:14Place bets now.
21:16Come on.
21:17Don't be a loser.
21:18Be a chooser.
21:19It's easy.
21:20You just got to pick one.
21:22Bet.
21:22Bet.
21:23Bet.
21:24Okay, that's it.
21:25Betting finished.
21:28Here they go.
21:29Both looking around for a nice car to steal.
21:33Brian May has chosen a red car, while Greg David has opted for a nice blue one.
21:39Oh, look like Brian May's in.
21:42So quick.
21:44Now, he got to get the car to start.
21:47But look, Greg David has also gained illegal entry.
21:51Oh, it's getting exciting now.
21:56The first to get their car to drive away is the winner.
22:01Wait.
22:02Brian May is he?
22:04That's he?
22:05He's off.
22:07He's there.
22:09Congratulations, Green Man Brian May.
22:12Hey, if you bet on him, you are a winner.
22:23That's all from Banzai this week.
22:26Coming soon, we have the turkey measuring puzzle.
22:34And javelin darts with Fatima Witchbred.
22:39Till next time.
22:41Wednesday.
23:00Hungry like the wolf.
23:02Your hands are shaking.
23:03What's going on with you?
23:05I don't understand.
23:06I don't understand.
23:16Radar, radar, radar.
Comments