- 2 weeks ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00The Dukes are coming in for another landing.
00:10Couldn't keep away from me, huh, gorgeous?
00:12Young lady, you are in a pack of trouble.
00:18I've got claustrophobia!
00:19Is that kitchen, Sheriff?
00:25Gee, these people are crazy.
00:28I hope you weren't too inconvenienced, ma'am.
00:30I'm coming at you.
01:00I might get them, but the law never will.
01:04Making their way the only way they know how.
01:11That's just a little bit more than the law will allow.
01:15Just the good old boys wouldn't change if they could.
01:24They're fighting the system like a true modern-day Robin Hood.
01:29There ain't no place where one little thing can lead to a multiple catastrophe.
01:41Like it came in Hazard County.
01:43Who is that guy?
01:50It don't make no difference.
01:51Teach him some manners.
01:53All right.
01:53Well, that's showing them, Bo.
02:07You know, I knew you were going to say that.
02:24I'm telling you, Bo, I got a close-up look at it, and it's the same car.
02:42So I suppose you're going to tell me it's in here, right?
02:43Now, you start with a little bumping on a Hazard County road, then go to the boar's nest.
02:55Add a stranger or two that look like they're up to no good, and a lot of spice.
03:02Mix in a little sugar, and watch out.
03:04Well, what'd he look like?
03:06He looked mean and ugly.
03:07That covers just about everybody in here, except me.
03:10Well, I'd know him if I saw him again.
03:13Good luck.
03:14Hey, you all going to the costume clock dance party tomorrow night?
03:17Daisy, we ain't got time for that.
03:18We got a race.
03:19Oh, it's the biggest dance all year, fellas.
03:21It's the only dance all year.
03:23Wait till you see what I'm wearing.
03:25Short and fantastic.
03:26I'm going as a circus bareback rider.
03:28Hey, baby.
03:29I'd like to be your horse.
03:32Well, okay, sugar.
03:33As soon as I find the front end.
03:35Ain't that him?
03:36I don't take no dirt from a barmaid.
03:39That's him.
04:00Oh!
04:01All right.
04:06Dianne.
04:10Enos!
04:11Hush!
04:13Well, now, she's the one that started this whole thing.
04:15She's the one that grabbed her, all right?
04:16Now, you see what you've done?
04:22Now, you're under arrest for grabbing at her,
04:25and you two are under arrest for swinging first.
04:28Enos, read them their rights.
04:30What?
04:30You dumb dipstick.
04:32You soaked me to that...
04:34One, y'all have the right to remain silent.
04:37Enos, they'll be out on bail before you finish with that.
04:40Just arrest them.
04:41Get them out of here.
04:42Step one, Stanley.
04:56180, 190, $200.
05:02Besides being the county commissioner,
05:05Moss Hogg is also the justice of the peace.
05:08That's kind of like having a goat guard the cabbage patch, ain't it?
05:10Sorry you made a bill for them boys.
05:13Seeing the Duke behind bars is my favorite form of entertainment.
05:17My Duke.
05:18Well, good morning.
05:24I want to thank you, boys.
05:26Thank us.
05:26For making my sunset year so stimulating.
05:31Now, you take this morning, for instance.
05:34I got up and was going over and paid Jason Higgins my $200 mortgage payment.
05:40But lo and behold, instead of making my mortgage payment,
05:43I find myself in here paying your bail.
05:47Want to guess how much?
05:49$200?
05:50$200.
05:51Now, we got to go over to the bank,
05:53take out what we got left, and make that payment.
05:56Come on.
05:57Now, don't you do scroll leave the country before time.
06:01Hold on up there.
06:02I love it, I love it.
06:03Ain't nobody going nowhere.
06:05Who's that?
06:06That's Doc Petticore.
06:07He's down there with that Colt fella.
06:09That's the guy that these two boys beat the pudding out.
06:18Roscoe, I want you to make sure nobody leaves here.
06:22What are you doing here, Doc?
06:24Tending the sick, Jesse.
06:25What the hell else do I do?
06:26Come on, Doc.
06:27I didn't hit him that hard.
06:29Now, listen.
06:30Everybody listen good.
06:31I don't want to start a panic.
06:34But this sure looks like some kind of plague.
06:37Plague?
06:38Until I know more, as county health officer,
06:41I'm declaring this jail and everybody in it quarantined.
06:44Gu-gu-gu-gu-guarantined?
06:48Now, I'm just a lovable old country doctor.
06:50And I ain't had me a good epidemic since the hog collar of 43.
06:54And that was mostly pigs.
06:56But this, this sure looks like pneumonic or bubonic plague.
07:00For?
07:03If I don't get that mortgage payment to Jason Higgins before midnight,
07:08we lose it.
07:10And to think, this all got started
07:12because this jackass wanted to be a horse for Daisy.
07:18Step two, Stanley.
07:38What do you reckon them two are up to?
07:42Anyway, a little later.
07:44Roscoe, I can't stand this anymore.
07:48You're working out of my office.
07:50So I've got to find me a decent place to sleep
07:53in this pigsty you call a jail.
07:55These accommodations stink.
07:58Uh, well, well, boss, there's folks that just stink.
08:01See, this is the jail.
08:02We work at that.
08:04Roscoe, I wish, I just wish,
08:07you would use your head for something other
08:11than a handy place to hang your teeth.
08:14Oh, uh, well, listen, boss, there's two cells downstairs,
08:17but that sick guy's in one and the dukes are in the other.
08:20Well, then I'll sleep up here.
08:22I'm sleeping downstairs with a criminal element.
08:25Well, where are you going to sleep?
08:26Up here?
08:27Hmm?
08:28Hmm.
08:30How about there?
08:31Oh, well, you mean this old cell?
08:36Well, they haven't used it after 75 years.
08:39This is where they used to put the guy
08:41just before they hang him.
08:43Sounds perfect for you, boss.
08:45Don't give me a sarge, Duke boy.
08:47I'm feeling testy.
08:49Luke, what are you doing?
08:50I'm going, Daisy.
08:51Well, listen, don't use that for once
08:53because you're only supposed to use it once
08:55when you're in jail.
08:56Roscoe ain't prisoners.
08:57Well, you will be if you use that phone again.
08:59Boss, see, what we use this cell for
09:02is just for sold supplies
09:04and for Enos' common...
09:05All right, all right, all right!
09:07I'll take it!
09:08Just move that junk out
09:10and put my other barber chair in there.
09:13Uh, boss, you gonna sleep in your barber chair?
09:17Well, I've been sleeping in it half the time
09:20since I married your fat sister.
09:23These ways, that chair don't roll over on me
09:25in the middle of the night.
09:27But, Luke, I gotta change.
09:30I just got fitted for my costume.
09:32Now, is Uncle Jesse...
09:33He's fine.
09:33Look, nobody else is sick.
09:35Now, don't panic,
09:36but get that mortgage money
09:38to Jason Higgins before midnight.
09:39You just take care of Uncle Jesse
09:41and I'm on my way to the bank right now, all right?
09:44Well, hurry.
09:45Okay, all right.
09:47Now, anybody that knows anything
09:48about Hazard County
09:50knows that it just ain't gonna be that easy.
09:53Here.
09:57Uh, Bo tells me you think something's up.
09:59Well, it's that Colt.
10:00Something peculiar's going on there.
10:02His fever's down,
10:03and if the doc hadn't looked at him,
10:04I'd swear he's faking being unconscious.
10:07Why would anybody fake the plague
10:08just to stay in jail?
10:10Beats me.
10:11It's gonna take some cogitate.
10:12Oh, one thing, sir, it ain't the coffee.
10:15Say that again.
10:17See, now, what are we gonna do about food?
10:19Oh, Cooter volunteered to bring it in.
10:21No wonder.
10:22Plague would dry up and die on Cooter.
10:27There she is, Mr. Hogg,
10:28ready to move right in.
10:30Good work, Keenor.
10:31Thank you, sir.
10:36Keenor.
10:38Yes, sir?
10:39Did you lock that door?
10:41Uh, yes, sir.
10:44That must be out of force habit.
10:46I'm sorry, Mr. Hogg.
10:49Unlock that door, son.
10:51Oh, yes, sir.
10:52Yes, sir.
11:04It's stuck.
11:05Stuck?
11:07Stuck.
11:08Roastro!
11:10Roastro!
11:10Get in here!
11:14What can I do for you, boss?
11:16You'll be bringing in here the dip.
11:18You didn't lock me in.
11:19He did.
11:20He did.
11:21This rascal who...
11:22Oh, unlock the door.
11:24Yes, but it won't unlock.
11:26Well, then get out of the way and let me do it.
11:29You don't dipstick.
11:35It's a little rusty.
11:36It's just...
11:37Oh, I don't know what I do.
11:39Get in here.
11:40There.
11:41There it is.
11:43No, no, um, not exactly.
11:46See, that's the key, but it needs that little piece up here.
11:52It's just...
11:53Let's go.
11:54I've got claustrophobia.
11:56Well, um...
11:57Is that catching, Sheriff?
11:58You...
11:59You two ain't got the combined intelligence of a pot of turnips.
12:05No, I know, I know, I know it.
12:06Then get them doobs downstairs.
12:09Yeah, I'll get them right away.
12:11Get him out of here.
12:12Just...
12:13You get him out of here.
12:16Okay.
12:17I ain't gonna tell you but one time.
12:19Downstairs.
12:20Well, it's humoring, boys.
12:22It's his jail.
12:22All right.
12:32All hope abandon ye who enter here.
12:35Where'd you come up with that bit of sunshine, Roscoe?
12:37Oh, my sweet mama does needlepoint.
12:39Gives a sort of a homey touch, don't you think?
12:42As I recall, that's supposed to be the sign over the gates of hell.
12:46Very appropriate.
12:47From Dante's Inferno, ain't it?
12:51From my mama.
12:52Hush!
13:07Ooh, wee, would you look at that.
13:22Hello, gorgeous.
13:24I'm just a lonely stranger in town, so why don't you show me the sights, starting with you?
13:29Well, have you seen our jail?
13:31It's a sight.
13:32Stanley.
13:36So long, gorgeous.
13:37That was very sick, Stanley.
13:40We're working.
13:41Let's go.
13:4445.50.
13:49Hey, Rose Ellen.
13:50Y'all been busy?
13:51Oh, the mail payday.
13:54We sure missed you in church Sunday, Daisy.
13:57You see me this week.
13:58Yeah.
13:58Oh, beautiful.
14:00Ow.
14:01Oh, dear.
14:10Oh, dear.
14:15All right, everybody do exactly as you're told, and nobody will be hurt.
14:40So, hands above your head.
14:42Thank you, thank you.
14:51Ah, yes.
14:52We're here.
14:53There it's yours!
14:54OK.
14:56Hello, gorgeous.
14:58And that's all there is.
15:01Now let's go, everybody in the back room.
15:03Let's go, come on.
15:04Let's go.
15:05Hurry, hurry.
15:06Nothing will happen in the back room.
15:08Just in the back room.
15:10No, no, no, no.
15:11Let's go! Everybody, let's go! Move it! Move it!
15:16Nothing will happen. Let's go.
15:26I don't like it in there. It makes me weak.
15:29Come on. Come on. Come on.
15:33Hey, what happened to Gorgeous?
15:35Can't you even forget women long enough to rob a bank?
15:41Let's go.
16:04Will you come home?
16:06If anybody spots us, start shooting.
16:11Hang on, Daisy. You got them now.
16:17Possum on a gumbush.
16:18Nope.
16:19Hang on, Daisy.
16:33You got them now.
16:45Possum on a gum bush.
16:46Nope.
16:47It's Daisy on an RV.
16:49We'll stay loose, Goose.
16:53We'll stay loose, Goose.
17:18I'm a-coming.
17:22I think we have company.
17:24Yeah.
17:26Can't you shake them?
17:27I'm trying to, Stanley.
17:29Woo-hoo!
17:35How's it going, Daisy?
17:36Why don't you pop him?
17:49Yeah.
17:52All right.
17:53I'll pop him.
17:54Yeah.
17:59Hang on, Daisy.
18:00While Daisy was playing gangbusters, old Bo and Luke were puttering around, just looking for something to do.
18:16Here, Ross, I brought you a little coffee for your nerves.
18:19Ross, girl, what am I supposed to do if I have to get out of here?
18:23Huh?
18:24You know, have to.
18:27Uh, oh.
18:35Oh, it, you.
18:36I got it, Sheriff.
18:37Hazard County Sheriff?
18:38Oh, it's for you, Sheriff.
18:41Rose Ellen at the bank.
18:43Well, let me have it.
18:44Here.
18:51Rose Ellen?
18:53Gee, I told you not to call me here at work.
18:55You little rascal, you.
18:58Huh?
19:00The bank was robbed.
19:02Huh?
19:03My bank?
19:04By Laurel and Hardy.
19:07Find out how much money did they get.
19:09Well, was anybody hurt?
19:11Go get Jesse.
19:13Yeah.
19:14Nobody was hurt.
19:15How much did they get?
19:16Well, did anybody see the vehicle that they got away in?
19:20What about Daisy?
19:21I don't know, but nobody was hurt.
19:23Well, that must mean she's okay, then.
19:24Roscoe, how much did they get?
19:27Enos?
19:28Yes?
19:29Take this down.
19:30Yes.
19:30Uh, the bank robbers, uh, drove away in one of those big RV campers.
19:39Only in Hazard.
19:41Uh, well, I'll be right there.
19:45Huh?
19:46Uh, well, uh, I can't.
19:48No, I can't come.
19:49I'm in quarantine.
19:52Well, just tell them to, uh, tell them just to sit tight.
19:55Roscoe for the last time!
19:57How much money did they get?
19:59Two bagfuls.
20:01That's not a very accurate count.
20:05You might say that.
20:10This is, uh, Sheriff Roscoe Coltrane calling all deputies.
20:15Coltrane calling all deputies.
20:17Come on.
20:18Sheriff, all the deputies are quarantining here.
20:22Oh.
20:23Hazard County Sheriff.
20:25Oh, hey, Cooder.
20:26Cooder just chased an RV camper with Daisy hanging on top.
20:31Let me have it.
20:33Cooder.
20:34Now, how long ago was that, and which way did they go?
20:39About 30 minutes and...
20:41...hidden north, huh?
20:43Daisy.
20:46I'm sorry, Jesse.
20:47I'll tell you something, boys.
20:56One thing about a crisis.
20:58You sure learn what ain't important.
21:02With Daisy and this trouble, losing that farm don't amount to a hill of beans.
21:09But, Uncle Jesse, what if the plague ain't for real?
21:12That's a big if, Bo.
21:13And a whole parcel of coincidences, if it is.
21:16What do you mean?
21:17Look, a guy picks a fight, gets thrown in jail.
21:19He gets sick, gets himself and the police quarantined on the same day a bank is robbed.
21:24And on the mill's payday?
21:27Look, Uncle Jesse, you yourself said that he might be faking some.
21:30Which could tie him in with them bank robbers.
21:33If that's true, it's gonna take a lot of tall shucking to outsmart them fellers.
21:39They're good.
21:41All right.
21:42I'll have Roscoe call Doc and see if he can take another look at Colt.
21:48Well, we ought to figure out an escape plan, just in case.
21:51Now, there'll be no escape till we're sure this plague is phony.
21:54And while you two are at it, figure out how we're gonna find Daisy when nobody else can.
22:14Funniest people in the world.
22:18Think you could tell yourself a way and give me a hand?
22:21I'm the boss, Stanley.
22:22All right already with the Stanley bit.
22:25My name is Irving.
22:27Humor me.
22:28Next job, you'll be Abbott and I'll be Costello.
22:38Unload the RV.
22:39Unload?
22:40I just locked it.
22:41How come we gotta unload it now?
22:43Because we're going to sink it in the lake, Stanley.
22:46That's Irving.
22:47And we're not doing that till tomorrow when Colt gets here.
22:50Nothing like being ready.
22:53I'm still very peeved at you, Stanley.
22:56Talking to that beautiful girl in the bank was tres stupido.
23:00I had to pick a part-time sex maniac for a partner.
23:03Tacky Stanley.
23:05Tacky!
23:07Lay out the money and I'll count it.
23:09Now, to get to that CB and call for help, all Daisy's got to do is climb down, break in without being shot or worse.
23:20So, what's the problem?
23:22She's a duke.
23:24And I think she's got a long way to go.
23:25That's the problem.
23:34And I think she's got a long way to go.
23:37Hey, boss.
23:40I was just downstairs talking to old Jesse.
23:42He thinks maybe that plague is a fake.
23:44So, I'm going to call Doc Petticord.
23:46Roscoe!
23:46What?
23:47You ain't going to call nobody.
23:49Uh, uh, boss, now listen.
23:51Now, you listen.
23:52I just figured this whole thing out.
23:54Now, tell me.
23:55Why's that fellow cold in jail in the first place?
23:58Because he was fighting with, uh, uh, Bo and Luke, duke.
24:02Ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:04Pretending to.
24:05Pretending to.
24:06And who is off with them bank robbers right now?
24:10Uh, uh, Daisy.
24:14Ha, ha.
24:14You see, Pee-Breeze, the dukes are in on it.
24:18Well, now, let me ask you something.
24:21Why would old Jesse jeopardize a farm?
24:25Because he ain't in on it.
24:27He ain't.
24:28Them duke boys didn't know their scheme would clash with Jesse's mortgage.
24:32So, they got caught in their own trip.
24:34Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:35And you ain't calling Doc because you got three of the robbers in jail right now.
24:41Colt and Bo and Luke duke.
24:43Uh, but boss, now, what happens if that plague is real?
24:47Well, then we just sit tight.
24:49And Jesse loses the farm either way.
24:52Well, boss, why should you care?
24:55Old man Higgins, he owns a mortgage on that farm.
24:58Oh, no, he don't.
24:59No, he don't.
25:00I bought all Jason's holdings last week.
25:03By midnight tonight, that farm will be mine.
25:06Yours?
25:07I'm going to burn it down, plow it up, and have me a real nice junkyard.
25:13Good junkyard.
25:15Good, good, good.
25:15I love it.
25:16I love it.
25:17I love it.
25:18Roscoe, get me out of here.
25:20I'm going crazy.
25:21You couldn't keep away from me, huh, gorgeous?
25:35Let go!
25:35Let go of me!
25:36Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no.
25:38Oh, no, oh, no, you're going with me.
25:40Let go of me!
25:41Oh!
25:42You're going right with me.
25:44Oh, no, oh, no.
25:44Let go!
25:45Let go!
25:46Oh, no, oh, no, you're going right with me.
25:48Let go!
25:48Oh!
25:48Oh!
25:54Young lady, you are in a pack of trouble.
26:05Do y'all realize that this whole mess got started by two cars just bumping into each other?
26:10like i said y'all realize that this whole mess got started by two cars bumping into each other
26:21while luke was doing a little sabotage for the breakout by doing some repairs
26:26bo was diverting everybody's attention with jesse's old card tricks and that boy had a tough
26:33audience all right enos now i'm gonna show you one card trick i want you to pick a card
26:37oh i don't believe in gambling bo enos it's not gambling will you pick a card we'll be here all day
26:42well now you got it yep two hearts enos you're not supposed to tell him the card
26:48oh you tip stick all right enos uh let's try it one more time okay oh no this time don't tell me what
26:56it is don't tell him now pick a card you got it yeah okay can i ask a question sure
27:07you know the little black three-leaf clover because that clubs or spades enos don't help
27:12him any more than you have to give me that even i see it we're gonna try again all right
27:19that's your card ain't it happy ding ding you know how you do that sure
27:31magic downstairs jesse was trying to trick colt to see if the plague was phony
27:37that was smart real smart you getting the law all quarantined while the rest of them hit the bank
27:50that was good real good except you made one mistake you picked hazard county where the only law is
28:02boss hog and roscoe so me and my boys is gonna make a run for it we invite you to come along
28:10if i know roscoe and i do your partners are gonna have all that money split and spent by the time he turns you loose
28:20did you fix up the squeaky wheels on my chair sure did thank you
28:38you're welcome jeez it's all planned getaway car everything
28:48seems a shame big time pro like you rotting away in a hick town jail
28:58you're all set
29:28yeah we're all ready i just hope cooter got that message i smuggled out with lunch
29:33yeah i hope he can read well now listen i think i may have struck out with colt so
29:38uh if he don't go we don't go you understand
29:41sure hope this works
29:46jailbreak
29:57jailbreak
29:59jailbreak
30:01jailbreak
30:02jailbreak
30:04jailbreak
30:06jailbreak
30:08jailbreak
30:09jailbreak
30:10enos
30:12get out of here
30:13this door's stuck
30:14come here
30:16open this door
30:17jailbreak
30:34jailbreak
30:35Come on.
30:36Come on.
30:37Come on.
30:38Come on.
30:39Come on.
30:40Come on.
30:41Come on.
30:42Get in the way.
30:43Brasco.
30:44Ahh.
30:45Oh.
30:46Oh my.
30:47Get down.
30:48Oh my.
30:49Get down.
30:50Get down.
30:57The old shooter got the message.
30:59You gotta even put him back together for us.
31:01I'll copy it.
31:05And if we hadn't made a cute remark to her while we were robbing the bank, we wouldn't
31:09have this mess.
31:10How would I know she was gonna get so turned on she'd follow me here?
31:13Ah, no.
31:14That's not how it was, sugar.
31:15Hey, do you mind if I sit down while y'all fuss?
31:18These new shoes I bought for the costume cotillion are killing me.
31:21Y'all going to the cotillion?
31:23You know, the way you two dress when you rob banks, I'll bet you take first prize.
31:28The costume bid is his idea.
31:31The last bank job, he was Dracula and I was Wolfman.
31:34Yes, and you were terrible.
31:37Now get a rope and tie it up.
31:39You know, I figured we'd hear a lot more traffic on the police radio.
31:41Don't worry, we will.
31:43Hey, look.
31:44Put her even back as a lunch.
31:46Not much.
31:47Y'all great.
31:48I'm starving.
31:49Hey, hope y'all ain't planning on stopping for lunch.
31:52This is Hazard Sheriff Roscoe Coltrane.
31:55All units report in.
31:57All units?
31:58What units?
31:59This is Choctaw Sheriff Emmett Ragsdale with all units reported.
32:07Sheriff Ragsdale from Choctaw County?
32:09With two more cars, he'd invade Russia.
32:11Wow!
32:12That many?
32:13No.
32:14That mean.
32:15Shh.
32:16Hold on.
32:17Listen up.
32:18Coltrane calling Hammer Hand.
32:19Over.
32:20It's Choctaw Sheriff Emmett Ragsdale.
32:23You will use correct radio procedure on police business.
32:26Over.
32:27Oh, I'm sorry about that, Hammerhead.
32:29A hand.
32:30Uh, uh.
32:31Listen, did you or your boy spot any of the fugitives?
32:34Over.
32:35Negative.
32:36We have all primaries blocked with roving patrols on secondaries.
32:39Over.
32:40Over.
32:41Oh, oh, good.
32:42Whatever that means.
32:43Uh, listen, Hammer.
32:44Uh, Sheriff.
32:45Uh, listen, we're gonna move north and join you.
32:47Now, I want you to be real careful, cause those fugitives, they're tough.
32:50So are we.
32:51Out.
32:52The Choctaw and Hazard Sheriffs together?
32:55And don't forget the FBI and the State Patrol.
32:58What are they afters for?
33:00Bank robbers are federal rap, man.
33:03Welcome to the big time, boys.
33:06Now, wait a minute.
33:07You didn't rob no bank.
33:08Ha, ha, ha, ha.
33:10Tell that to the judge.
33:12After they get you there.
33:14And every road blocked.
33:16Well, I guess we only got one choice.
33:18Go for it.
33:37No, no, no.
33:38But the even—
33:39No, no, no.
33:40What?
33:41Well, no, no.
33:42Let's go.
33:43Now, I'm going to open the tables and make those tables.
33:44Now, I'm.
33:45How is that going to open the world?
33:46Now, I'm.
33:47Now, I'm.
33:48Now, I'm.
33:49Oh, I'm.
33:50I'm.
33:51H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h.
33:52If, I'm.
33:53Oh no!
33:54Oh no.
33:55You flake!
33:56Dennis Temment!
33:57Oh no!
33:58Oh no!
33:59What?
34:00Oh no!
34:01Oh no!
34:02Oh no!
34:03Oh no!
34:05Oh no!
34:06You all right, Nicky?
34:36I got one, I got one, I got one, I got one, I got one!
35:06I look like old Hammerhand.
35:28You better step on it, he's after us!
35:34He's after us, he's after us!
35:38He's after us!
35:43He's after us!
35:53He's after us!
35:57Yee-haw!
36:20Helicopters. I need helicopters.
36:27Now, looks like Roscoe's gonna give us a hand there.
36:35You got untrained!
36:43Did you see her? Did you see her?
36:57Coltrane, your driving is substandard.
37:07I didn't turn over. You reckon we oughta help him, Sheriff?
37:11Will you hush? He ain't hurt.
37:13Turn off the light.
37:14Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
37:16Make sure you tire well, Stanley.
37:23You win, gorgeous. No chains, just fishing line.
37:30Thanks. I've always depended on the kindness of strangers, Stanley.
37:35The name is Irving.
37:39What do we do now?
37:42We're gonna sit tight till dark.
37:44That way our chances will be better.
37:47Then what?
37:48Shoot, we reckon you're gonna tell us.
37:50Hey, look, we're neck deep in this thing already.
37:53We was thinking maybe we could throw in with you and your partner.
37:56Oh, yeah?
37:58Yeah, Luke and me's both great wheelmen.
38:01Wheelmen?
38:03Breaking out of jail oughta prove we can handle ourselves.
38:06Come on, how about it?
38:08Tell you what I'm gonna do.
38:10I'm gonna take you to the boss and let him decide.
38:13Woo! Deal.
38:15Hey, you gotta tell me one thing.
38:17How'd you fake the plague?
38:21Now, that was simple.
38:23I'm allergic to poison ivy, right?
38:26Yeah.
38:27Well, when I get in the jail,
38:29I just peel back the tape and expose the poison ivy.
38:35Then I get the rash.
38:37I get the swelling.
38:39I even get a little fever.
38:41Then I fake all the other symptoms of the plague,
38:43like delirium, cramping, all that sort of stuff, you know?
38:47And then, man, it looks real good.
38:50Looks just like the plague.
38:53Boy, it was beautiful.
38:55Really beautiful.
38:59Anyway, do you realize that there ain't never been no doctor ever seen a case of the plague in this part of the country?
39:09Now, if you know something, Luke, it is sure gonna be a pleasure to work with a real professional, ain't it?
39:14Yeah.
39:15You figure we can never be that good?
39:17I don't know.
39:18You all realize they ain't no closer to Daisy than they were in jail.
39:33What are you doing here?
39:34You're supposed to be in jail till tomorrow.
39:35Can't anybody do anything right?
39:36Boss, I ran into some trouble back there.
39:37What happened?
39:38You poor man.
39:39That's a terrible case of poison ivy.
39:40You see it?
39:41It didn't work in jail either.
39:42Some hillbillies spotted me.
39:43Where's your car?
39:44I had to make a getaway in this thing.
39:45Hey, isn't that the girl from the bar?
39:46Yeah.
39:47She belongs to me.
39:48Look.
39:49Look.
39:50Look.
39:51Look.
39:52Look.
39:53Look.
39:54Look.
39:55Look.
39:56Look.
39:57Look.
39:58Look.
39:59Look.
40:00Look.
40:01Look.
40:02Look.
40:03Look.
40:04Look.
40:05Look.
40:06Look.
40:07Look.
40:08Hey.
40:09Isn't that the girl from the bar?
40:10Yeah.
40:11She belongs to me.
40:12Look.
40:13Dummy.
40:14Are we supposed to sneak out of here in an orange stock car with a big number one on the
40:18side and a confederate flag on the roof?
40:21Look, little man.
40:22It'd be a whole lot easier than trying to hide her.
40:26Imbeciles.
40:27It was a very simple plan.
40:29These two idiots couldn't follow instructions on a cereal box.
40:33Y'all don't get along very well, do you?
40:36No, young lady.
40:38We don't.
40:39I wanna see the money.
40:40I think you should see about getting some calamine lotion on that poison ivy.
40:44Oh, get her inside.
40:46Because of your stupidity, we're gonna have to dump that RV truck and then escape in that
40:53clown car.
40:55No.
41:06Looks like the Duke's got a little shuck and jive working, don't it?
41:15Listen, I wanna know how we did on the money.
41:17Well, that may all prove to be academic if we don't get away.
41:21Right now we happen to have a more pressing problem.
41:26What are we gonna do with her?
41:29Right now I'm thinking about sinking her in the lake with the RV.
41:34That way.
41:35That way there's no witnesses.
41:37Hey, is Cooter coming at ya?
41:51Y'all got your ears on?
41:53Come in, Cooter.
41:54It worked.
41:55Whoo!
41:56Boy, we thought he'd never steal that car.
41:59Me too.
42:00Hey, y'all.
42:01I'm down here at old Bubber's fishing shack, the one that Boss Hogg foreclosed on.
42:07You mean Bearclaw Swamp?
42:09The very same.
42:10Now looky here.
42:11Daisy's all right.
42:12But there's three of them.
42:13And they got shotguns and it looks like they're fixing to leave.
42:14Got you.
42:15You're gonna have to delay him, Cooter.
42:16Okay.
42:17I will.
42:18That's a big 10-4.
42:19But y'all hurry.
42:20You copy that, Jesse?
42:21Loud and clear, Luke, and I'm on the way.
42:22I got him now.
42:23I got him now.
42:24You copy that, Roscoe?
42:25You bet I copy.
42:26And when I get my hands on ya...
42:28Bearclaw Swamp.
42:29I got him now.
42:30I got him now.
42:31You copy that, Roscoe?
42:34You bet I copy.
42:35And when I get my hands on ya...
42:37Bearclaw Swamp.
42:38That's at the other end of the county, Sheriff.
42:41Enos, I know where it is.
42:55Wait a minute!
42:56I'm not into exotic stuff like snuffin' abroad!
43:01Don't look at me.
43:02I've been sick.
43:03Uh, fellas, can I say something here?
43:05No!
43:08No.
43:09You may not.
43:11This is all your fault.
43:13It was a perfect bank heist with a true theatrical flair.
43:18It worked twice without a hitch.
43:20And then we hit hazard.
43:22It was a perfect set-up.
43:24An outmoded bank.
43:26An inept police department.
43:28And then we met you.
43:30Disaster.
43:32Uh-huh.
43:33Uh-huh.
43:34Now, let's see.
43:35Cooter said that there's three guys with shotguns?
43:38Hmm.
43:39You don't need me.
43:41I'll just take a nap.
43:43You can handle it.
43:44Left-handed.
43:45Left-handed.
43:46I sure hope Cooter's being creative.
43:49Hey, how you?
43:50Now, sugar.
43:51Before you get yourself all head up, things just happen to be different and hazard.
43:56Actually, y'all fit right in.
43:57Why don't you stick around?
43:58I'll bet if you gave that money back and apologized real sweet, well...
44:02Stick around, hazard...
44:03Wrong.
44:04Who's that?
44:05Why, hey, Cooter!
44:06Hey, don't...
44:07Hey, don't worry.
44:08Hey, don't worry.
44:09What's that?
44:10I'm just gonna go in.
44:11I'll be like, huh?
44:12Well, I'm just gonna go in and see you.
44:13I'm just gonna go in and see you.
44:14Now, sugar.
44:15I'm just gonna go in and see you.
44:16I'm just gonna go out and see you.
44:17Well, sugar.
44:18Before you get yourself all head up, things just happen to be different and hazard.
44:19Actually y'all fit right in.
44:20Why don't you stick around?
44:21I'll bet if you gave that money back and apologized real sweet, well...
44:24Stick around, hazard.
44:25Wrong!
44:30Who's that?
44:31Hey, Daisy! How you been?
44:34Oh, fine. And you?
44:35Oh, I can't complain.
44:36What is going on?
44:39Caught this guy goofing around with RV tires.
44:42The place is crawling with him.
44:44Where did you come from? See if you can guess.
44:47Maybe we ought to sink the RV before something else crawls out of there.
44:51Hey, you know, that's gonna take y'all a while, because it's got two flat tires.
44:57Tie them both up, put them in the RV and sink it.
45:01Hey, can I ask you a question?
45:03No, you may not.
45:04Okay, good. If y'all sink that RV, how you gonna get out of here?
45:09We'll make our getaway in the little orange car.
45:12Yeah? It ain't gonna start no how.
45:14I hid the distributor cap right before I did them tires.
45:21Get over there.
45:23All right, you two, get out there and start that car.
45:26What's that noise?
45:28Now what?
45:31Stop him!
45:33Stop him!
45:46Get out!
45:47Whoo-hoo!
45:49Whoo-hoo!
46:16They throw dynamite! They throw dynamite!
46:18They throw dynamite! They throw dynamite!
46:20They throw dynamite!
46:21What did you guys say to me?
46:34These people are crazy!
46:36Hold it right there!
46:38Hold it right there!
46:39Come on in here!
46:41Get in here!
46:42Don't slap all over me now!
46:43This is my good uniform!
46:44Get in here!
46:45Get in here!
46:46Get in here!
46:47Get in here!
46:48Get in here!
46:49Get in here!
46:50Hold it right there!
46:51Hold it right there!
46:52Come on in here!
46:53Get in here!
46:54Hold it right there!
46:55Hold it right there!
46:56Hold it right there!
46:57Come on!
46:58Come on in here!
46:59Get in here!
47:00Don't slap all over me now!
47:01This is my good uniform!
47:02Get in here!
47:03Get in here!
47:04Get in here!
47:05Get in here!
47:10Gosh, Roscoe sure was nice of y'all to get here just in time to take all the credit!
47:14Well, you hush!
47:15Any more flat-flip out of you, I'll cook you too!
47:18You are surrounded!
47:19Throw down your weapons and put your hands up!
47:23Hammer hand!
47:24How many times do you have to surrender around here?
47:26I said hands up!
47:27Everybody!
47:28You...
47:29You just...
47:30Hello, Coltrane!
47:31What are you doing here?
47:32Oh, well, I will...
47:33All right!
47:34Move out!
47:35We...
47:36Hammer hand!
47:37Now, listen!
47:38This is Hazard County!
47:39This is my county!
47:40And I do all the arresting in...
47:42Hot pursuit, Sheriff!
47:44Look it up!
47:46Oh, yo!
47:51I hope you weren't too inconvenienced, ma'am!
47:55All right, men!
47:56Move them out!
47:57You...
47:58You tin-badged robot!
48:00You...
48:01I think he's kinda cute!
48:04For Sheriff!
48:05Well, we played it pretty close!
48:07Got only one stick left!
48:08You know what we oughta do with that?
48:09What's that?
48:10We oughta offer to blast Boss right out of his cell, huh?
48:18He's just a big...
48:19He's just a big white smitheree!
48:22And that's the legend of the Hazard Plague,
48:25in which nobody caught nothin',
48:27especially Roscoe,
48:29who didn't even catch the bank robbers.
48:31He's just a tiny, big bank robbers.
48:33And the other one!
48:34There was no bank robbers!
48:35guitar solo
49:05guitar solo
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