- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Tonight, on the Duke, Hazard's got a pitchfork, Picasso, and everybody gets in a picture.
00:08I'm afraid Bo had looked around a mess this time.
00:10Captain, listen, wait a minute.
00:15Freeze!
00:18Ah!
00:26Come on, Bo, let's go to jail.
00:34Just a good old boy, never meaning no harm, beats all you've never saw.
00:44Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born, straightening the curves, flattening the hills.
00:56Someday the mountain light did them, but the law never will.
01:01Making their way, the only way they know how.
01:08That's just a little bit more than the law will allow.
01:13Just a good old boy, wouldn't change if they could.
01:21Fighting the system like a true modern-day Robin Hood.
01:33Now, Bo and Luke got special probation permission from Boss Hawk to cross the county line on family business.
01:39Not only a Duke could be in the wrong place at the wrong time, even when they have permission.
01:47Now, this is Artie Bender, Hazard's local starving artist, enjoying one of the few things that he can afford, a
01:53sunny day.
01:54Which one's about to be interrupted?
02:14To be continued...
02:15To be continued...
02:16To be continued...
02:25He's out cold in a frozen TV dinner get the money and you get the car
02:32I
02:59That
03:05What the heck is that
03:11It's been a hold up. I think the driver will be all right. Let's see now
03:15It was a light-colored sedan four doors. They took our phone down that away. We'll take off after you
03:21better call emergency though
03:43What's going on I'm sure there were two of them in a car and they went on down that away
03:48I already called an ambulance now
03:50You see all hearty never told sheriff little chickasaw that boy Luke was already chasing them
03:56So naturally sheriff little figured that the crooks would be in the first car that he lay eyes on
04:00That would be the general Lee
04:05I think that orange guy found it just picked up some company
04:08Oh
04:22Both ways that face behind us ain't exactly friendly. Well, you're getting cynical now. He's the law
04:26He's got to do his duty go split up and catch him guys. No, you explain it to him
04:31All right
04:36We each go one way we're gonna trip
04:39Wait a minute tried to explain how they were chasing the real crooks and how they had a witness to
04:44prove it
04:45Well, Sheriff little turned a deaf fist as far as he was concerned the dukes was tried and convicted of
04:50grand theft
04:51Horse stealing and the sinking of the Titanic
04:53Well, then the first thing we do is just this car and pick us up another one
04:57They only make ourselves harder than we already are
05:00Whoever was in that orange car got a make on this here heap. We're driving so we better do something
05:10We'll paint and speaking of painting
05:13Oh Luke's one and only alibi had returned to his studio to find he had visitors
05:19Okay, righty vendor. I come here to foreclose on all your property house and everything
05:23I kind of all that money you owe me for their mortgage payments the grocery supplies
05:27Not to mention all them painting materials you've been buying
05:29Yes, and also a parking ticket parking ticket, but I don't even own a car
05:34Well, that's no excuse you you were in front of a parking meter the other day
05:37And you were painting a courthouse and you didn't put a red dime in there
05:40All right, let's not waste any more words on him. Ross goes through your duty. That's right. We'll just
05:45Yes, sir. Mr. House
05:48Please don't sell my house. I mean, it's all I got except my paintings you see
05:53I'll tell you what I'll pay you the next picture I sell. Yeah, well, that don't mean much in corner
05:59You never did sell wood. Well, then I'll tell you what I'll give you two of the latest ones I
06:03painted now
06:03They'll be worth a lot of money someday. Oh, tiddly tiddly don't listen to him boss
06:08I'll tell you something the only painting that I ever heard it was worth a plug nickel the guy who
06:13painted it had kicked the bucket
06:14That's right. He kicked the bucket the crazy one who cut off his ear or that french fella
06:20You know was a little itty bitty dwarf. You painted all them fancy dances
06:23Well, I don't care which ones you talk about. They was never famous until they died
06:28Right, and he ain't dead. Yeah, but I will be someday. I mean everybody dies
06:34Sometime well, we can't wait around for that. You might last for years. Ain't that right boss?
06:40Unless unless we speed it up a little. That's what we'll do. We'll just speed it
06:47Oh
06:47Boss, you can't possibly mean
06:49Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
06:52All I meant was that we have already here get
06:56Officially deceased officially
06:58Yeah, that way his paintings could be worth something. Are you feeling sickly? No
07:03Oh, well, then how are we gonna have him officially deceased when he's not even feeling puny by just filling
07:08out a few forms?
07:09You know like a death certificate. Oh, which I got plenty of over City Hall. Oh, yeah
07:14Not to mention I owned the funeral parlor and the same material and then with Artie hid out where nobody
07:19can see him
07:19Oh, you've done it again. You little bad get away
07:23You know I tell you're slicker in the skin
07:25Listen here Artie. What do you think of this idea?
07:27Boss made Artie an offer that he couldn't refuse
07:30Not only would boss wipe out all of Artie's debts, but Artie would become famous before his time
07:35And get 25% to boot
07:37After expenses, of course
07:39Now this was a pretty good deal for Artie
07:41But it was a real bad one for Bo and Luke
07:43If Luke and me were the crooks, then how come we stopped in the middle of the road and waited
07:46for you, huh?
07:47And if we's the crooks, where's the money? How about that?
07:49You tossed it out the window figuring to come back and pick it up later. That ought to be worth
07:53about 20 years
07:54I know how to prove her innocent
07:56We're due one phone call, ain't we?
07:58Okay, you got one call. I don't want no judge tossing this case out on no legal technicalities
08:03Hello operator. Give me Artie Bender over in Hazard
08:06We'll have this thing cleared up in a minute
08:10All right, his phone's been cut off. He didn't pay his bill
08:12Don't you? Come on, we'll get these
08:14Boys, then I'll get one percent of what
08:16Yeah, you'll get something
08:17Don't worry about this
08:18Well, I'll get it
08:18Oh, this is the best idea yet
08:20Oh, I tell you, this is marvelous
08:23Careful now, they're masterpieces
08:24They're masterpieces
08:25Maybe we call Uncle Jesse, have him bring Artie over here
08:28All right
08:28Oh, no, shoot, Uncle Jesse's out playing in the back 40
08:32And if I'm not mistaken, Daisy went to Capital City shopping
08:36Listen, operator
08:38I need to talk to Cooter Davenport over at Davenport's garage in Hazard
08:45Gussie, what are you doing on the phone? What are you taking Cooter's calls for?
08:48He's out on a tow job, huh?
08:50Well, listen, get a hold of him
08:52And have him tell Uncle Jesse to bring Artie Bender over here to Chickasaw County Jail right away
08:56Me and Bo are up on charges of grand theft armored truck
09:00You got that?
09:02All right, thanks a lot
09:04Now it's my turn
09:10Jezebel
09:11Get me Roscoe P. Coltrane in Hazard County
09:16Meanwhile, boss had hit old Artie out so he could declare him dead
09:19Which he couldn't do if old Artie was just sitting around
09:22Even the Hazard folks would see something wrong with that
09:26Yeah, you heard me right
09:28I want an obituary for Artie Bender
09:30Yeah, splashed all over the front page
09:33Yeah, and lots of his paintings too
09:34And over it all, a big band of headlines saying
09:38Hazard County and all of USA mourn loss of great orders
09:42Yeah, that's it
09:44Why? What do you mean why?
09:46Because I own your paper, that's why
09:48Oh, good news, boys
09:50Look at that
09:52Isn't that a doozy?
09:53You know something?
09:54It's got every kind of flower in there
09:56There's forget-me-nots
09:57And there's, how'd that pansy get in there
10:01It's got every flower that Artie wanted on his grave
10:03If he'd have really kicked off
10:04Well, it sure is beautiful
10:05Now listen, I want you to make sure to remind me
10:08To deduct the cost of these beautiful flowers
10:10And all them other funeral expenses
10:12From the deceased chair of the prophets
10:14Oh, yeah
10:15Oh, I'll get it
10:17Sheriff Coltrane's office, Commissioner J.D. Hogsby
10:19You say hello from Roscoe
10:21Say it yourself, it's for you
10:23Who is it?
10:23It's Sheriff Little from over in Chickasaw
10:25No good grief
10:28Uh, Sheriff Roscoe
10:29Go pick Coltrane
10:31I just wanted you to know I did what you ain't never been able to do
10:34I busted them dukes
10:36Grand theft, armored truck
10:38All right, Little, you've gone too far this time
10:40I want those boys back in my county
10:42And I mean right now, if not sooner
10:44They're out of your jurisdiction
10:45You know what happened?
10:47Sheriff Little arrested Bo and Luke
10:49And he's got them in a slammer over there in Chickasaw
10:51Oh, he did?
10:53Glory be
10:54I don't care what jail they're in
10:56So long as they're behind bars
10:57Luke
10:58I don't know what they're gabbing about
10:59Listen, Roscoe
11:01This here's Luke
11:01We're innocent, we need Artie Bender as an eyewitness
11:04Artie, Artie Bender?
11:05Artie Bender?
11:06He should, he should
11:07What about Artie Bender?
11:08Luke wants Artie to come over there
11:10And testify for him to get him out of the slammer
11:12Oh, give me that phone
11:13Listen here, Luke Duke
11:14This is J.D. Hogs
11:16Artie Bender can't do nothing for nobody
11:18On the corner he just died
11:20What?
11:21Yeah, real sudden like
11:22And his funeral's gonna be any minute now
11:24Uh, sure am sorry
11:26You ain't gonna be able to make it
11:28Oh, bye
11:29I didn't know you were having the funeral that soon
11:31I don't know if I can make it
11:32Oh, really?
11:33Well
11:34Our eyewitness just closed his eyes for the last time
11:38What do you mean?
11:40Artie Bender's dead
11:46How far is Atlanta from here?
11:49What's our hurry?
11:50Ain't nobody looking for a blue four-door sedan
11:52Besides, there's a little bird called Hazard a few miles from here
11:57Might have a bank we could hit
11:59We already got more than 50 grand in the trunk
12:02Can I help it if I'm greedy?
12:04Now, greed ain't something that that fella's got a monopoly on
12:07Because when it comes to greed, Boss Hog is the cock of the walk
12:10With Artie Bender's empty casket not even in the ground yet
12:13Boss was already promoting them paintings
12:15With a big art dealer from Atlanta
12:16The Artie Bender I'm talking about
12:18Yeah, yeah
12:19The Grandpa Moses of Hazard County
12:21Yeah, yeah
12:23The Rembrandt and overalls
12:25The Pitchfork of Picasso
12:27Now, Boss wouldn't give up selling that dealer
12:30On how he might lose out on a real genius
12:32And a potful lumber
12:33Yeah, and if I was you, I'd hurry in and see them
12:36Because they're coming from all over
12:37Like from New York and I don't know where
12:39They're going to pick them up real cheap
12:40And then they're going to resell them to folks
12:41I mean, they're going to get a potful for them
12:43That's right
12:45Oh, you will come
12:46All right
12:54Boss's plans were really shaping up
12:56Just about the time that Cooter got a hold of Jesse
12:58And told him about the fix Bo and Luke were in
13:00The message from Luke is this
13:03We need to get Artie Bender over there
13:06Because Artie could clear him of the charges
13:08Well, if that's all they need
13:09I'll just go on up and get Artie Bender
13:11And get on over there
13:12Well, I hate to tell you, Jesse
13:13But Artie Bender passed away right after this happened
13:16And he's dead and gone
13:17And they're burying him tomorrow morning
13:19Artie Bender?
13:20I didn't even know he was an alien
13:22I'd like to pay my respects
13:23But I guess we better get on over to Chickasaw and post bail
13:27Ain't no point in that, Uncle Jesse
13:29I already called over there
13:30And there ain't no bail
13:31Seems because Bo and Luke are on probation
13:33If your only eyewitness have been crossed over
13:35I'm afraid that Bo and Luke are in a mess this time
13:44How's it sounding?
13:46Do you really want to know?
13:48Well, it's a camp town ladies
13:50You gotta be kidding
13:53No, I know it ain't no time to be fooling her
13:54I sure wish Artie would have told Sheriff Little
13:56That we is the chasers and not the chasees
14:00Well, he didn't
14:00So we best forget about that
14:04Hey, Luke
14:05Bail
14:06Now, what the heck are we gonna do about bail?
14:07We gotta get out of here so we can take
14:08Oh, you gotta be crazy
14:10Remember where we are?
14:12We're in Sheriff Little's jail
14:13If he had his way, we'd be underneath the dang thing
14:16We'll get out of here when hell freezes over
14:17I bet that fella in a truck got a good look at who the real crooks are
14:20You're giving me a worse headache than your harmonica
14:22The only thing he saw was stars
14:24We're gonna get out of this mess when we break out and find the real crooks
14:28Well, I hate to pour salt on the wound, Luke
14:30But I bet them fellas is out of the state by now
14:33Can you think anything better?
14:34It's our only way out of this
14:41Hello
14:46Let me say, move over
14:49Michelangelo
14:50Rembrandt, give room
14:51And all you other famous artists
14:53We're now sending up to you
14:55Has the county's own beloved and heretofore unsung, unknown genius
15:02To take his rightful place among all you great famous artists
15:06In their great painter's studio in the sky
15:11Amen
15:17All right, boys
15:19It's time we all go see the judge
15:23Come on
15:25Come on
15:40Come back
15:43Come back
16:11President, we're about to lose this one sheriff, Luke
16:19Friends and neighbors
16:20You're looking at one of the big reasons foreigners don't really understand us
16:37Sure shook him
16:38Well, we gotta get rid of him somehow
16:41Look, there's a bend up here
16:42Once we get out of sight
16:43How about we play that same routine we did on Roscoe at the time over at Rocky Ridge
16:47All right, you got it
16:49We're sure Little ain't gonna like what he finds
16:51We're tonight
16:51So, uh, yeah
17:01Oh, well, a boy
18:51Come on, come on.
18:52You come in here so we can talk.
18:54Now listen, that fancy penis art dealer from Atlantis is due here in less than half an hour.
18:59Yeah, look at this.
18:59Look at that money.
19:00So here, I want you to do what you said you was going to do when I asked you to
19:03do it.
19:04I'll do it.
19:04You take some of this here money for you and I want you to, as soon as that art dealer
19:08comes
19:08in, start buying paintings.
19:10You hear me?
19:10Yes, sir.
19:11That's right.
19:12Can I have a little bit?
19:13You can have this.
19:14Ooh.
19:14Because I want you to buy all them beautiful paintings.
19:17And then, when you are through buying, Sheriff Coltrane will be waiting out back to take
19:22them paintings back from you just as you go out.
19:24And don't forget now, you spend all the money.
19:27Don't keep nothing for yourself.
19:28Because that's real.
19:29I'm telling you that.
19:30Now, come on.
19:31We've got to go out.
19:31And don't forget, you are going to be buying the most beautiful, the most precious, the greatest
19:35masterpieces you've ever seen.
19:38Is that straight, Sheriff?
19:40Well, let's see.
19:41Oh!
19:43Enos!
19:43I can't hold a ladder and get back and look and see if it's straight, too.
19:47Roscoe!
19:47Oh, what?
19:48Oh!
19:49Oh!
19:54Look at that!
19:56Enos!
19:57Oh, Sheriff, I'm sorry.
19:58How did you...
19:59Sling those pads, sir!
20:01While Enos was helping redecorate, them crooks was thinking of hitting bosses back.
20:05That is, until he saw the Chickasaw Sheriff.
20:09Here comes trouble.
20:29And them boys that robbed that armored truck yesterday.
20:32It's what the poster says.
20:33You boys spot them?
20:35If you turn them in, you all got yourself a $500 reward.
20:38Yeah, yes, sir.
20:39We sure will keep our eyes open for them poor boys.
20:42The boys believe that.
20:44They got those boys figured for the job we pulled.
20:47Now, what are we going to do?
20:47What?
20:49We're going to find them boys, turn them in, and the case will be closed.
20:58Well...
20:59Well?
21:02We're wanted for armed robbery.
21:04We ain't got a witness.
21:06We don't know who did it.
21:07We don't know why they did it.
21:08We don't know where they are.
21:10Tell me something I don't already know.
21:12Look, I've been sitting here thinking about it and thinking about it.
21:14I can't come up with a dang thing. Ain't you got any ideas?
21:17Of course I got ideas.
21:18What are they?
21:21Well, when I get them all sorted out, I'll let you know.
21:23Get them all sorted out.
21:26You gotta sort it out what the heck we're gonna do, what's gonna happen to us.
21:29We have to take this rap.
21:31Oh, you know that little shirt you got with the alligator on it?
21:33Yeah.
21:34It's gonna have numbers on the back.
21:42Artie sure picked a nice place to put his cabin, didn't he?
21:46Sure's quiet up here.
21:47You know, I've been here 30, 40 years,
21:50and this is the first time I can remember there ain't no smoke coming out the chimney.
21:57Hey.
21:59Hey, y'all.
22:05Any news on what happened to Artie, why he passed on so quick?
22:08First we heard about it, they had Artie over at J.D. Hogg's funeral parlor,
22:12and the next thing we knew, they had him at J.D. Hogg Cemetery.
22:15You know, the thing that gets me is that old Artie, he loved art as much as he loved breakfast,
22:19and he didn't get to live long enough to see J.D. Hogg down there selling his paintings like they
22:24was gold.
22:25Did you get a look at what the real crooks look like?
22:27Nah, we never got close enough.
22:29All we've seen was the rear end of a light-colored four-door sedan with a busted right tail light.
22:34Ain't a heck of a lot to go on, particularly when your only eyewitness is pushing up daisies.
22:39You know, there's one thing about this that bothers me.
22:41What?
22:41You all notice how much Artie's death has worked to Boss's benefit?
22:45On the one hand, all of a sudden Artie's paintings are worth a whole lot of money.
22:48And on the other hand, Boss has got us in hot water, which is right where he wants us,
22:52all because we don't have a witness.
22:53Listen, y'all, get on the CB and see if you can find out if anybody's seen that light-colored
22:57sedan.
22:57What are you gonna do?
22:58We're gonna head over to Doc Applebee's, see what led to the sudden demise of Artie Bender.
23:05Ah, this is Jesse Duke calling the pipeline.
23:08This is Jesse Duke calling the pipeline.
23:11I've got an instructor number here, so I'd like for everybody to see if they can find...
23:15Back in Hazard, Roscoe was heading for the back of the courthouse
23:18when he spotted his very own personal enemy number one, Sheriff Big Ed Little.
23:24Little, don't pretend you don't hear me. You're violating here.
23:27Listen, you know something? I have half a mind to write you a ticket.
23:31Coltrane, you ain't even got a quarter of a mind, no less half.
23:34Now, buzz off.
23:35Listen, if anybody's gonna catch those Duke boys, it's gonna be me.
23:39Coltrane?
23:39What?
23:39You couldn't catch a coal if you was naked as a jaybird in the snow.
23:45Now, why don't you just hang around a while and watch a real sheriff do his job?
23:49Wait, you need, listen, here. This way I'll have your badge. Come back.
23:55Oh, this is humiliating.
23:58Always hoping you could fill us in a little bit.
24:01There's nothing like I can do, but believe me, Bo and Luke,
24:05Artie Bender's death came as much of a shock to me as it did to you.
24:08What, you mean he wasn't ailing or nothing?
24:09He wasn't ailing one bit. I gave him a thorough check-up the morning I went fishing,
24:14then come back the next night, find out he's deader than the fish I brought in.
24:18Well, then you weren't the one that signed the death certificate.
24:21No. Well, I have no idea who did.
24:24I think we'd better find out.
24:25I think so. Well, thanks a lot, Doc.
24:28Well, if we figure anything out, we'll give you a call.
24:32All right.
24:35Adios.
24:36Drive carefully.
24:40Now, the Dukes had to keep looking for answers while being on the run
24:43as fugitives from Sheriff Roscoe and Little.
24:46That death certificate's gotta be on file over at the county office.
24:50I'd love to get a look at it.
24:51Yeah, I would, too.
24:53I'm just gonna see how it's gonna help us.
24:54That's gonna prove that we didn't have that truck.
24:56Well, he was our only eyewitness.
24:58And here's something ain't right about the way he passed on.
25:06Shepard a lot, Chief. Shepard a lot, Chief.
25:08You got your ears on out there?
25:09Yeah, that's big ten-four. We got you, Uncle Shepard. Come on back.
25:12We're, uh, coming in empty-handed. We didn't eyeball no light-colored sedan anywhere,
25:17and nobody else would see him.
25:19Uncle Jesse, ask me what the doctor said.
25:21Uh, Daisy wants to know what you found out at the doctor.
25:24Doc said that the last time he saw him, he was fine.
25:26He said he didn't sign no death certificate, neither.
25:29Uh, Luke's got an idea.
25:30Would you all go to Boss Hog's art show and keep him in the front room
25:33while he and I are looking around the county records?
25:36Uh, all right. You do your thing, and we'll do ours.
25:39This is Shepard, huh?
25:43Now, this fancy dude with bad eyes, and whose coat and pants is coordinated,
25:47is an art dude. Yep.
25:49And that's just exactly what they look like.
25:51Well, well, well, well, well, what do you think?
25:54There's no question this artist has talent.
25:56Yeah.
25:57Color.
25:58Yeah.
25:59Technique.
26:00Yeah.
26:02Excellent composition.
26:03Yeah, yeah.
26:03And above all, imagination.
26:06That, too.
26:07In a primitive sort of way, of course.
26:09Yeah, well, he was very primitive. No question of that.
26:11I saw it first.
26:12Heck, you did.
26:13I did, I did.
26:14I saw it first.
26:15I saw my eyes.
26:16I'm bad.
26:17Wait a minute.
26:18Hold everything here.
26:19I've just gotta have this hairbender waterfall.
26:21I've got you.
26:21The brush strokes.
26:23The colors.
26:23It's brilliant.
26:24It is, it is, boss.
26:25Yeah, it sure is.
26:26It must be a great masterpiece.
26:28But don't fight over it.
26:29Listen, boss.
26:29I'll give you double what you're asking for this here painting.
26:32Double.
26:32That and a hundred more.
26:34A hundred more.
26:35A hundred more.
26:35My goodness.
26:36That'll come to, oh, I don't know, five hundred at least.
26:39And you know what?
26:39It'll probably be worth triple that by tomorrow.
26:42Triple.
26:42Or four times a day.
26:43That art dealer from Atlanta was getting more and more impressed with boss's shields fighting
26:47on one of them authentic vendor paintings.
26:49Just like old boss figured.
26:51But what he didn't figure was that the Dukes were smelling something.
26:54And it wasn't just fresh paint.
26:56So while everybody was looking at them pictures, Bo and Luke sneaked into boss's office.
27:02Like I said on the phone, now that the Artie Bender's dead and gone, all these pictures
27:08are bound to become collector's items.
27:10I don't believe this, Uncle Chessie.
27:12Me neither.
27:13When you remember that Artie Bender couldn't have traded one of his paintings for a set of
27:17retreads for his car if he had a car.
27:21Yeah, and them bosses down here moving them like they're the greatest thing since sliced
27:25bread.
27:27You know, the Hatchapian Capital City Museums have been all over me to get all I could
27:31deliver.
27:31At top dollar.
27:35I need another seagull.
27:37I'm going to my office.
27:38Excuse me.
27:40All right, I better get me a seagull.
27:42Uh, GD, Artie Bender would be so proud of what you're doing for him here today.
27:47Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:48Well, I figure a man deserves every chance he gets to get what's coming to him, and if
27:52he ain't around to enjoy it.
27:53Excuse me, I gotta get a seagull.
27:55Hey, boss, how about giving me this tour, huh?
27:57You know, I used to finger paint myself back in second grade.
28:00Maybe you could sell some of my stuff something.
28:02Well, sue me when you get to the third grade.
28:04I gotta get a seagull.
28:05Will you?
28:07There you go.
28:08Be my guest.
28:10Yeah, but, but, but.
28:11You mean alive?
28:12Yeah, get him alive.
28:13You got a man?
28:14You do?
28:15Yeah.
28:15Let us do it for you.
28:17No, no, no, no.
28:18There you go.
28:19There you go.
28:21Birth and death certificates.
28:24Anderson Andrew Bender.
28:28Arthur Bender.
28:30Died of natural causes.
28:31Uh-huh.
28:33And it was signed by a Dr. Campbell on Paxton Road.
28:37You know who he is?
28:38I don't know who he is, but that's his address.
28:40Let's go.
28:41All right.
28:48Mr. Hugg?
28:50Yeah.
28:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:51I'm convinced.
28:52Stop the sale.
28:53I'll take every piece of work by Bender that I can buy.
28:56You will?
28:58You got yourself a deal.
28:59Yeah, yeah.
29:01Everybody, everybody.
29:02Um, uh, your attention, please.
29:04Now, don't be mad, but I'm gonna have to cancel all of them sales we just made.
29:08Oh.
29:09Yeah, yeah.
29:09Well, on the corner of, uh, this gentleman here just offered to buy each and every painting
29:14we got from the police in one lump.
29:17That's not fair.
29:18It's just too bad that this is all that's left of such a promising genius.
29:23Oh, yeah, yeah, I know that.
29:25But, uh, don't you worry, don't you worry.
29:27If it's more paintings you want, uh, I can get you plenty more of these paintings.
29:32But the man's deceased.
29:33Oh, yeah, yeah.
29:34Oh, he's dead.
29:35Dead as a doornail.
29:36But, uh, uh, before he died, he must have left some paintings around, you know, or gave
29:39some away, or maybe even sold a few locally.
29:42So, I'll go around and pick up as many as I can at a price.
29:47Whatever the cost, my clients can well afford to pay it for an authentic bender.
29:56Oh, and Luke, CB, Jesse, and Daisy were telling them that they were checking out on Doc Campbell.
30:01But other ears were listening, too.
30:03Please speak on Navy, sir.
30:05Old Artie was up on Hazard Pond, painting his little old heart out, making himself solvent, and boss rich.
30:14And Bo and Luke was calling in to tell Jesse and Daisy and Cooter what they found out at the
30:18Paxton Road address.
30:20Yeah, well, there's something strange going on here.
30:22Dr. Campbell is supposed to have signed a death certificate.
30:24When we checked out the address where the office is supposed to be, it turned out to be an empty
30:28lot owned by Boss Hogg.
30:30Listen, I know, J.D. I've known him for a long time.
30:33And true, he'd do about anything for a dishonest dollar, but he wouldn't do nobody in, especially Artie.
30:39Yeah, well, they're tied together somehow.
30:41Well, whatever it is, this is not helping Bo and Luke. We gotta find the crooks.
30:45You're right about that.
30:47Uh, uh, Daisy says we gotta find them crooks, and I think she's right.
30:51Yeah, well, that'd be real nice, but how do we find them when we don't know what they look like
30:54or where they went?
30:55Why don't we all meet at Hopkins Barn and figure this thing out, lay out a plan?
30:59We'll be there in 15. We're gone.
31:01Well, he ain't going anywhere.
31:03We're making a citizen's arrest.
31:06Well, now, we got two crooks making a citizen's arrest on the two most honest men in hazard, what are
31:12now fugitives.
31:19See, we saw you on that wanted poster, and we're gonna collect the rewards.
31:23What wanted poster are you talking about?
31:24Sure, Mel.
31:28All right, let's get out of here!
31:36Get out of here!
31:36Get out of there, get away!
31:42Well, he must have brought in his own posse. Them fellers ain't from hazard.
31:46Well, it ain't where they're from that's important right now, it's where they are, which is behind us.
31:50See if you can get the police channel on that CB.
31:53If you can get that sheriff to help us.
31:56It sure feels funny.
31:58Calling the cops.
31:59Yeah, that's right.
32:00And I want an all-state APB out on them dukes.
32:03Yeah, like I was saying, the first thing you're going to do...
32:06Hey, wait a minute.
32:07Hey, wait a minute, little.
32:08You know this is my office.
32:10I made this my command post until I catch them dukes.
32:13Call the Chickasaw Sheriff.
32:15Call the Chickasaw Sheriff.
32:16Hey, listen, this is my radio.
32:18And that's my name.
32:19He's a-calling.
32:20Sheriff Little here.
32:21We're chasing them dukes right now, Sheriff.
32:23We may need some help.
32:25Where you at?
32:26Paxton Road, heading west.
32:28I'm on my way.
32:29Wait a minute, here, little.
32:30This is my job.
32:32My jurisdiction should be my 500.
32:34I'm going to knock him in the middle of next week.
32:37What?
32:37Your job is getting up to where Artie Bender has hid
32:40and bringing back some more of his peatings.
32:42Really?
32:42So step on the guests and get me some oils.
32:46You know, one day I'm going to...
32:48I mean, I'm going to...
32:50I mean, I'm going to...
32:52You're going to what?
32:54I don't know.
32:55This is not my day.
33:07Now, Sheriff Little was on his way,
33:09having called for all the local reinforcements,
33:11which turned out to be Enos.
33:13Now, Enos didn't believe for a minute
33:15that Bo and Luke was mixed up in that robbery.
33:17But sworn to uphold the law,
33:19he had to do his duty.
33:27Shoot, you're coming at us from all directions.
33:29Any bright ideas?
33:30I think we ought to arrange a meeting of the minds.
33:33Come on.
33:33All right.
33:42You look all right.
33:43Yeah, live and kickin'.
33:52Well, that's good.
33:53That ain't even done yet.
33:55Well, it doesn't make any difference.
33:56Listen, these things are going faster than a scalded cat,
33:59and boss can use just as many as you can crank out.
34:03Well, some of them are a little damp, yet.
34:05Well, don't worry about it.
34:06But, say, uh, by the way,
34:08you ever catch them crooks that robbed that armored truck?
34:11No, but I expect the rest within, oh, 24 hours.
34:21I thought sure Bo and Luke would have gotten them by now.
34:25Well, I may as well start another one.
34:27I didn't get them pink flowers in last time anyway.
34:34Things getting weirder and weirder.
34:36Breaker one, breaker one.
34:38Might be great, but I ain't.
34:39Dumb crazy scooty coming at you, Uncle Shepard.
34:41Lost sheep.
34:41Any of y'all home in the hazard net?
34:43Anybody home?
34:44Come on.
34:44Yeah, you got the lost sheep.
34:45Where you at?
34:46Well, y'all, I had to make a little detour back there
34:48to clean up the mess y'all made over there at the crossroads.
34:51I picked up that blue sedan that was chasing y'all.
34:53Well, it got a little dent in it.
34:55And guess what?
34:56I'll bet she's a light color underneath, right?
34:58You have done and guessed it.
34:59Hang on a second.
35:01This is all starting to make sense.
35:02Yeah.
35:03Now, supposing you just robbed an armored truck
35:05and you heard that some big sheriff was after two other fellows
35:08and he thought they did it.
35:09What'd you do?
35:09Try and pin it on them.
35:10Yeah, well, them is us.
35:12Cooter, we'll be at the garage in a few minutes.
35:14See you then.
35:17Well, I'm down and gone, y'all,
35:18and I'll see you at the station, yeah?
35:21Of course, there's a lot of dust out there on the road
35:23between us and them,
35:24but it sure looks like the same color to me.
35:26Yeah, well, the right taillight's out.
35:28Of course, they can claim that happened when they racked up.
35:31Well, they can claim that,
35:32but they racked up on the left side
35:33and the left taillight's still working,
35:35which means the right one had to be busted before they accidented.
35:37Well, even if this is the car and they are the crooks,
35:40it doesn't prove they did it and you didn't.
35:42Could always give ourselves up.
35:45Hey, he calls me crazy.
35:47Now, wait a minute.
35:48The money ain't in the car,
35:49so they must have stashed it someplace
35:50until they figured it was safe for them to go get it.
35:53Now, if me and Bo give ourselves up and make that well-known...
35:56They'd go get it.
35:57Then we could follow.
35:59Exactly.
36:00Cooter, where'd you say they are now?
36:01Down there at Rachel's Cafe, drinking coffee
36:03and waiting on me to finish up her car.
36:05Well, when they show up, you know what to do.
36:08Come on, Bo.
36:09Let's go to jail.
36:12Come on.
36:22Good news.
36:23Hey, boss, look at these.
36:25These are doozies, and they're fresh off the easel.
36:28Oh, let me see that.
36:30Yeah, look at that.
36:31Why, that's Hazard Pond.
36:32Yeah, you guessed it.
36:34I know it anywhere.
36:35That's beautiful.
36:36And I'll tell you, these two paintings,
36:38they ought to bring a pretty penny.
36:40Oh, a pretty one.
36:41Hey, boss, I got some news.
36:44Me and Bo are turning ourselves in.
36:45Are you kidding?
36:46Nope.
36:47Well, all right.
36:48Just don't stand there.
36:49Cuff them and stuff them.
36:50Oh, here, hold it.
36:51Set that up, Bo.
36:53Get yourself up with you.
36:54Oh, oh.
36:55Roscoe.
36:56Look what you've done to my clues with these new paintings.
36:59Yeah, it's a mess.
36:59New paintings, huh?
37:00No, I didn't say new.
37:01You didn't say new.
37:02Oh, I said two paintings.
37:05Well, if you said two,
37:06then how come this paint in the Hazard Pond is still wet?
37:09Because Artie Bender just painted it.
37:10That's why.
37:11I think we're going to change our minds.
37:12Well, it didn't look like anything was going to stand in Bo and Lute's way now.
37:15But you better believe that they don't have this kind of problem
37:17when they want to get some new paintings for the Lute.
37:19That's art gallery for all you folks that ain't got no culture.
37:28All right, all y'all, back right on up into this holding center.
37:30You just came out of it.
37:45Listen, Artie is alive.
37:48I think I know where he is, too.
37:49Well, that's good.
37:50Now, listen, y'all follow them crooks just like we planned,
37:52Stan, emergency channel.
37:52We'll talk to you later.
37:54Don't look at me.
37:55I'm as confused as you are.
37:56All right, let's go.
37:58I can't get up.
38:01Let me out.
38:08Come on, Artie, get away, my kid.
38:12I can't hear nothing.
38:14I can't hear from that way.
38:16That's it.
38:16All right, all right, come on.
38:31Come on, come on.
38:32Pick up your kids up before they find Artie,
38:34or else we're going to blow a foot.
38:36Well, listen, boss, listen.
38:37Don't worry about it, little fat buddy.
38:39I mean, there's no way they can tell where we hit Benford.
38:43Even if Artie is alive, it could be anywhere in the county.
38:45You saw that painting that Moss smeared all over its front side.
38:48Yeah?
38:49Hazard pie.
38:51Come on, come on, will you?
38:55You're all set, Jim.
38:58She is ready to roll.
39:00Hey, how much we owe you there?
39:01I've got you about $20.
39:07Appreciate it.
39:09Maybe with this, we can get Bo and Luke out of the slammer.
39:11Oh, I think it's going to take more than that to get them out of jail.
39:15When them dudes what like to make citizens arrest showed up for their car,
39:19Jesse, Daisy, and Cooter shoved them pretty good
39:21into believing that Bo and Luke was already in the sheriff's custody,
39:25which wouldn't work in a lot of places.
39:35Just like Luke said, headed right for the money.
39:39Cooter, you stay here and keep your ears on in case we need you.
39:42Tim Bo.
39:43Tim Bo.
39:51Things was just coming to a head.
39:54Jesse and Daisy tailing them crooks,
39:55and Bo and Luke was heading for the Hazard Pond,
39:58where old Artie had just felt an inspiration
40:00to do his next painting on the ceiling of the barn.
40:13Can't let him do that, can we?
40:15Hang on.
40:31Oh, well, to tell you the truth, boss,
40:33with your extra weight in the vehicle,
40:35I don't think I can make it.
40:41Coltrane, they's my prisoners.
40:43Now, which way did they go?
40:45Listen, y'all got ten seconds to tell me which way they went,
40:48or I'm going to tell you which way you're going to go.
40:49You mean...
40:52No!
41:12Lush, are you out there?
41:14Well, Pete, I'm calling you in.
41:15Come on.
41:16Yeah, that's Big Ten 4.
41:17We're on our way to Hazard Pond.
41:18We've got a pretty good idea that that's where Artie is.
41:21Listen, them fellas make a move yet?
41:22They sure did.
41:23Just like you said, Luke.
41:25Well, now, don't move in on them yet.
41:26Y'all just sit tight and wait till Luke and I get there.
41:28We can back you up.
41:29You bet.
41:30We're gone.
41:40There's Hazard Pond dead ahead.
41:42There's Artie Bender alive and kicking and doing what he does best.
41:50Hey, Artie.
41:55Hey, how are you?
41:58Boy, are we glad to see you.
42:00Well, from here, it looks like things are working out real fine.
42:03But over here, I wish I could say the same.
42:07It's over here.
42:10Take this.
42:19Hold it!
42:22Lost sheep to shepherd.
42:23You got your ears on.
42:23Come back.
42:26Lost sheep to shepherd and Bo Peep.
42:27Come on back.
42:28Y'all hear me out there?
42:31They lied to his pops.
42:33You said them two was in the slammer.
42:35They waltzed us right into a trap, figuring we go for the dough.
42:39Which you did.
42:40Listen, if y'all can hear me, we found Artie and he can identify them crooks.
42:44Repeat.
42:45Artie can identify them crooks.
42:46He's alive.
42:47Now we're smack back on it.
42:50Lost sheep to Bo Peep for a shepherd.
42:52You out there?
42:53Can you hear me?
42:54They must not be able to read us.
42:56Could mean they had to leave the CB to tell them crooks.
43:00Must have crooks seen them first.
43:03Duke's got a sixth sense when one of them's in trouble.
43:06And old Luke was cooking on all six murders.
43:10The trouble was, them sheriff's cars was burning up the road just went.
43:19Hang on.
43:33Now, never mind about me.
43:34Get somebody on the CB.
43:35Get the boys.
43:37Luke?
43:38Bo?
43:39Listen, the crooks just took off with the loot.
43:41Head in that old close road.
43:43That's 10-4.
43:44Read you loud and clear.
43:54We should have taken them two with us as hostages.
43:57You got any idea what a kidnap rap is compared to arm robbery?
44:03What?
44:04Life!
44:11You know, if they had a band, they'd have a pretty fair parade.
44:22Sheriff Little didn't eat his duck when he got shot at.
44:25He just got mad.
44:26The club forgot about the dukes.
44:29Talk about a firecracker lit at both ends.
44:32Dang it, Luke.
44:33Hang on.
44:38The dukes figured they didn't help him the sheriff a little hour.
44:41By getting in front and cutting off them crooks.
44:43Besides, that was a lot better than being in the middle of a shootout.
45:01Wait a minute.
45:02See there?
45:03Got him.
45:03See there?
45:04He got him.
45:05See?
45:05That's a naughty nut.
45:06Well, I'd say that did the trick.
45:07Thanks to the dukes and Artie as an eyewitness, Sheriff Little now had the real crooks in custody.
45:12They're the ones that didn't.
45:13Boss couldn't wait to make old Artie take back his paintings.
45:16He demanded Artie to pay what he owed him.
45:18The dukes offered Artie the reward money that they'd collected, but Artie didn't need it.
45:22You see, that art dealer wanted everything Artie could pay, dead or alive.
45:26So Artie not only could pay old boss off, but he was set for life himself.
45:30Please accept that.
45:31You're a great man, sir.
45:33Boss got the $112 that old Artie owed him, and that was all he got.
45:38As for the dukes, well, they got something that money couldn't buy.
45:41An original family portrait painted by that great artist, Artie Bender of Hazard County.
45:54I can't wait until I've gone.
45:57I can't wait until I came back.
46:00We're like, hey, let's go back.
46:04We took the shop piece.
46:04We'll be like.
46:05Oh, yeah, yeah, dude.
Comments