- 2 days ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Tonight, on the news,
00:03Ross goes up for re-election,
00:05but Huey Hall has a few aces up his sleeve.
00:20Let go, let go, let go!
00:34Just a good old boy
00:38Never meaning no harm
00:42Beats all you've never saw
00:43Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born
00:48Straightening the curves
00:52Flatening the hills
00:56Someday the mountain might get them, but the law never will
01:01Making their way
01:04The only way they know how
01:08That's just a little bit more than the law will allow
01:13Just a good old boy
01:17Wouldn't change if they could
01:21Fighting the system like a true modern-day Robin Hood
01:25Yee-haw!
01:31There's supposed to be only two things certain in life, death and taxes.
01:36But in Hazard County, well, there's two more.
01:38The Duke's being chased by Sheriff Roscoe is one.
01:41The other, strange things happening during elections,
01:44Which is how this all started.
01:46Dang it!
01:47What a beast do they have in the bonnets now?
01:49We're good ten below the speed limit!
01:51Since when do those boys need a legitimate reason to give us a ticket, huh?
01:54What do you say we out-roading?
01:56Yeah, come on!
01:57What do you say this time we stop and have it out with them once and for all?
01:59Have a good day!
02:15Eat it!
02:17Good tip stick!
02:19You scuffed my vehicle how many times?
02:22Hey, Daisy!
02:23Hey, boy!
02:25Now look, Roscoe, before you start all your malarkey, we're a good 10 miles an hour below the speed limit.
02:30That's right. We didn't run any stop signs or go through any traffic light.
02:33Or bend or break one itty bitty little law, Roscoe.
02:35We all just hushed one pee-picking minute here.
02:38Listen, now, I know that I haven't been the best friend in the world to you, Dukes.
02:44Just what is it you want, Roscoe?
02:45Your vote. I want you to vote for me.
02:48Oh, see here. Flash is going to vote for me. Let me have it, darling.
02:51Aw. You see, vote.
02:55All right, Enidus, give me one of those very valuable buttons.
02:58Yes, sir. Give them each one.
03:00Listen, I want you to take this poster and put it where it's most conspicuous.
03:05Now, to appreciate that.
03:06Oh, Roscoe, look at that.
03:10Enidus, give me that.
03:12Oh, yes. Another little present.
03:15A cigar. And there you go.
03:18There you go.
03:19Now, listen, don't smoke it. It'll stunt your growth.
03:22And that'd be a naughty-naughty...
03:25Enidus, get in the beer.
03:26Yes, it is. We got a...
03:28Move for Roscoe!
03:29Oh, I love it. I love it. I love it.
03:35Move for Roscoe!
03:36Sheriff!
03:37They're man's best friend.
03:38Wait a minute.
03:39Sheriff! You hooked up to me.
03:41Sheriff!
03:42Wait a minute!
03:42Hey!
03:43He wants us to vote for him for re-election?
03:46We just might win it, considering there's nobody running against him.
03:49That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.
03:54Will Rogers once said that he never met a man that he didn't like.
03:57Well, old Will had never met Boss Hawk, or Boss's low-life nephew, Huey Hawk.
04:03What do you reckon all them electronic gizmatics is?
04:05And one of them takes 2,500 smackers, and that's final.
04:10Hey, there's over 10,000 bucks worth of telephone answering machines on that truck.
04:15Yeah?
04:15Maybe it has a legitimate price to a legitimate dealer, but I ain't no legitimate dealer, now am I?
04:21And seeing as how them machines are harder than a billy goat and a pepper pitch,
04:25my advice is to take this here money, or go find another fence who's dumb enough to give you what
04:30you're asking.
04:33All right.
04:34That's what I thought.
04:36Yeah, well, between that picture and this here tape recording,
04:39I think I've got enough evidence to blackmail Uncle Boss and own all of Hazard County.
04:43And then after Hazard County, it'll be the whole state, and then the entire U.S. of A.
04:51Huey, you're one of the most conniving, rotten, blood-sucking, thieving critters I've ever met.
04:56Wouldn't you say so?
04:58I think he's the absolute pits.
05:01Now, Huey's been a troublemaker ever since he and the Dukes was kids.
05:05When he saw the general, well, he just couldn't resist making a little bit more.
05:10Hey, look, he was up ahead.
05:11Hey, let's see how the general lead does against this car since I had it souped up.
05:18Hey, ain't that Huey last up there?
05:22Whoa!
05:23Come on, Huey!
05:32Whoa!
05:33Oh, good driving, Huey!
05:34Here's blood in your eyes.
05:36What's up, my slick?
05:37Oh, no!
05:39Huey!
05:47Now, that ain't normally the way you clear them pipes.
05:51Uh, looks like he's okay.
05:54I'll tell you what, he got himself checked down the sides this time.
05:57What do you know what he's doing in Hazard?
05:58Well, you bet one thing, it ain't good.
06:00And that's bad.
06:09Uncle Boss.
06:11By no good nephew, Huey.
06:14Oh, Huey.
06:20Your shifty little hands still move faster than a scalded cat.
06:24Give me back my wallet.
06:26All right.
06:26Well, your pudgy hands ain't lost in anything either, Uncle Boss.
06:29Give me back my wallet.
06:30All right!
06:33Oh, wait a minute.
06:34Oh, wait a minute.
06:36What are you doing back here in Hazard?
06:37The last time you was here, I threw you out and told you never to come back or else.
06:41Well, I got an or else, Uncle Boss.
06:44Take a look.
06:50Yeah, and I got a tape of the whole transaction to boot.
06:53Yeah, they might send you up the river for a spell with this evidence.
06:55Like, uh, maybe ten years with time off for good behavior?
06:58Where in tarnation did you get that snapshot in that teep?
07:00Doesn't matter.
07:01What does matter is that you withdraw your support of Roscoe for sheriff.
07:05Yeah, what?
07:07And back me for the job.
07:08You?
07:09Sheriff of Hanson County?
07:11You gotta be twelve cookies short of a dozen.
07:14Why'd I do a thing like this?
07:15I don't think you have much choice, seeing as how the FBI'd love to have this.
07:19Oh, you got me over a barrel.
07:23You miserable double-dealing lowlife.
07:24No, no, no, no, no, you can save the compliments, Uncle Boss.
07:27And just take your fat, roly-poly little body over there to Roscoe and tell him the facts of life.
07:31Yeah, go.
07:32I bet go.
07:35Good folks of Hazard County, really let me, Roscoe P. Coltrane, for sheriff, and let me do the job that
07:45I'm supposed to do.
07:46And that is clean up, uh, clean up, Hazard County.
07:52Stay here, Flash.
07:55Guard the vehicle.
07:57Roscoe!
07:58Oh, listen.
07:58Just a minute.
07:59Roscoe!
07:59Excuse me.
08:00Excuse me, lady.
08:01Would you come here, sweetheart?
08:03Here you go.
08:04A lollipop.
08:05Now, vote for Roscoe.
08:08She's too young to vote.
08:09Here you go.
08:10Vote for Roscoe.
08:12Hmm, go.
08:13Hmm, go.
08:15Hmm, go.
08:17I'm telling you, boss, I'm glad I only run for re-election once every four years.
08:21I've kissed so many babies that my lips pucker when I get 25 feet from a can of talcum powder.
08:26Yeah, well, you're in luck.
08:27Hmm.
08:27Because you can unpuck her from here on in.
08:29Why?
08:30I'm withdrawing support and you for re-election, and I'm now backing my nephew, Huey Hogg, for
08:34sheriff.
08:35Oh, well, that's nice.
08:37Are you kidding me?
08:38What?
08:38Well, it's just something that can't be helped.
08:40Oh.
08:40I mean, I'm over a barrel, don't you know?
08:42Oh, Huey Hogg for sheriff.
08:43Yeah, well, I know he's a peep-picking, dirty double-dealer, but I just gotta go along with
08:47him for the office.
08:48Oh, would you stop whimpering?
08:52Well, it's just...
08:52Can't stand to see a grown half-wit cry.
08:56Look, it hurts me more than it does you.
09:00And you're gonna have to take that loudspeaker off your patrol car.
09:03Why?
09:03You can't campaign for public office in a public vehicle.
09:07Now, I gotta go.
09:08Well, naturally, Boss couldn't tell Roscoe that he'd double-crossed him by cutting him
09:12out of them hot telephone answering machines.
09:15Politics makes strange bedfellows.
09:18And you can find some strange bedfellows in Hazard County.
09:29My, my, my.
09:31I see it, but I don't believe it.
09:33Boss dropped Roscoe hotter than a firecracker lit at both ends.
09:36I know.
09:37We're coming out for Huey?
09:38Man, that boy will steal him blonder than three mice.
09:41I know.
09:42That don't make any sense.
09:44I'm gonna get Uncle Jesse.
09:45Law sheep to Shepard.
09:46Yeah, this is Shepard.
09:48Come back.
09:49Vance told Jesse what they'd found out, and Jesse allowed that if Huey got elected,
09:53well, he'd make Boss's thiever look like a sharecropper's.
09:56You ain't suggesting we support Roscoe for sheriff, are you?
09:59Well, I know it don't sound like me, and it's a sickening, revolting idea,
10:02but sometimes you gotta do the lesser of two evils.
10:06So, Jesse told Daisy and the boys to fetch Roscoe.
10:09With Cooter out of town, they could use his place to get something cooking.
10:12And there was a lot more cooking at Boss's.
10:15It was being grilled rare by Lulu while he was scarfing groceries out of frustration.
10:19Gee, why are you kicking him out for that polecat of a pig you call a whore?
10:24Because I...
10:26Because I...
10:27Oh, dang it, I just don't want to discuss it.
10:30Well, I do, and until we discuss it, and until you give Roscoe his job back,
10:35you are gonna have to find another place to feed your face and lay that body down.
10:39Now, I mean it.
10:42Oh, Lulu, can you?
10:44Police!
10:45I don't mind about the laying down, but I sure gotta have the feeding!
10:50Now, you just get out of here.
10:51You're not getting any more.
10:52You're not getting any more.
10:53You hear me?
11:00Oh, my.
11:01Ah, there just ain't nothing you can't get out of a woman if you use a little sweet talk.
11:07Mmm, mmm.
11:08Getting dumped by Boss was just the beginning.
11:10Roscoe was getting a whole load of surprises,
11:13like having to drive his own car for the first time in four years.
11:18Last time it was the motor.
11:20You don't want to sing this...
11:26Hush!
11:28All right, Jesse, I'm here, so now speak your piece.
11:31Uh, that's, uh...
11:33Well, Roscoe, we had a family meeting,
11:35and we decided that, uh,
11:38Dukes is gonna back you for Sheriff of Hazard County,
11:41just like it says right there on that button.
11:43Are you kidding me?
11:44But, Roscoe, we figure it's the lesser of the two evils.
11:47You know, that sort of gives me a quiver in my liver.
11:50Good, shouldn't it?
11:51You know, I can't wait to tell Boss Hogg.
11:53That'll really give him a vapor lock.
11:54Well, then you tell him right away.
11:56Yes, I'm gonna...
11:57It wasn't gonna bring any smile on Huey Hogg's lips, neither.
12:00He was gonna know even the four bumps.
12:03Huey, won't we?
12:04Well, that, uh, may be true, girls,
12:06but, uh, shouldn't we stand in the proper order?
12:08Ha-ha!
12:09Why don't you just come with me, honey, down here to the end,
12:11and, uh, you're perfect right there.
12:13And if you'll just come with me over here, yes.
12:16Huey.
12:17Yeah?
12:17Get ready for some news and we'll knock your socks off.
12:19Oh, good.
12:20I love a surprise.
12:20Not this one.
12:21Um, the Dukes are throwing in Sheriff Roscoe to help him get re-elected.
12:25Dang, why do the Dukes want to do a thing like that?
12:27Well, maybe they hate you more than Roscoe.
12:29That's not hard to do.
12:30Now, what are we standing around here jawing for, huh?
12:32Competition's one thing, but them Dukes is another.
12:34Now, look, I want you guys to get rid of them Dukes until after the election.
12:37And then when I become Sheriff, I get rid of them permanent-like.
12:40Ha-ha!
12:41Now, boys, if you'll just follow me out in the door here,
12:43we'll skedaddle you off down,
12:44and you'll just see you all later.
12:46Yeah, that's right.
12:46Thanks so much.
12:47Okay.
12:48All right.
12:51We want Huey.
12:53Whoa!
13:08You know, I never thought I'd see the day us Dukes would be campaigning for Roscoe.
13:12You got the saw by the wrong tree, partner.
13:14We ain't helping Roscoe.
13:15We're helping ourselves.
13:18You boys ain't helping nobody.
13:20You won't be hanging any more posters,
13:21because you're going for a little ride.
13:24Would you hold this for me?
13:37Let's go.
13:40Let him get away.
13:42I'll get him.
14:05This ain't going any faster.
14:06It's pumping.
14:23Maybe we can cut them Dukes off over here.
14:43Friends, just think a minute now.
14:45When was the last time that you had to look up to see a wreck?
14:54Oh, God!
14:56Oh, God!
14:57Oh, God!
14:59Think fellas make it?
15:01Yep.
15:02Looks like they're going to be taking their meals standing up for a while.
15:05You figure like I do that they're working for Huey?
15:07No other way to figure.
15:08Huey wants to be sheriff, and he don't care who it takes to get him there.
15:11Vote for Roscoe P. Coltrane.
15:13You know, you think it's funny that a Duke is supporting a Roscoe P. Coltrane,
15:17but let me tell you something.
15:18You'll be a lot better sheriff than that Huey hog.
15:21Huey hog's a lot worse.
15:23Yeah.
15:24Come back.
15:24This is Vance.
15:26Lost sheep calling Shepard.
15:27Come back.
15:28Come in, Shepard.
15:28Well, Coy and Vance told Jesse what happened,
15:30and they all reached the same conclusion.
15:32And if the Shepard come back...
15:32Life just wouldn't be worth living in hazard,
15:35especially for a Duke.
15:36If they didn't sweep old Roscoe right into office,
15:39friends, that was going to take a mighty big breath.
15:42Yeah, I've been going through your files, Uncle Boss,
15:44trying to figure out my cut.
15:45You have?
15:46That's right.
15:46When I become sheriff, I think the split will be, oh, 70-30.
15:49Oh, 70-30.
15:50Well...
15:51You get the 30.
15:52Well, wait a minute, boy.
15:54You got an unfinished static, you know that?
15:56I mean, I mean, if I yelled in your ear,
15:58I'd expect to get an ickoo,
15:59because I never, ever...
16:01I mean no disrespect, Uncle Boss.
16:02I think you ought to do it my way and be real happy about it.
16:09Well, we tried to snatch the Dukes.
16:11They got away.
16:13Hmm.
16:14You know, Roscoe's still sheriff.
16:16Have him arrest Coy and Vance.
16:18Trump up some charges like disturbing the peace
16:21or preventing a free election.
16:23Oh, just wait a minute.
16:24Roscoe would never arrest his two top campaigners.
16:26He may be dumb, but he ain't that dumb.
16:28Uh-huh, that's just the point, Uncle Boss.
16:30You see, with the Dukes helping Roscoe,
16:33that's going to bolster his campaign.
16:35People might start listening.
16:36After all, he is the sheriff.
16:39So, suspend Roscoe and make me acting sheriff.
16:42You!
16:43That's right.
16:43Or we'll both be out of a job.
16:45No!
16:46No!
16:47All right!
16:50What?
16:51What?
16:51Either that's my hat or your belly's gone to your head.
16:54Go ahead.
16:55Roscoe had no choice but to bide his time
16:57and wait for the right minute to fight back.
16:59In the meantime, the Dukes have no time to waste at all.
17:02And now, the sheriff's own sister, Lulu.
17:08Thank you, Daisy.
17:10Ladies and gentlemen of Passant County,
17:12I just want to say that I don't believe in my husband, J.D.,
17:15backing that pig of a hog, Huey,
17:17for my baby brother's job.
17:19Now, I say, don't put a crook in the sheriff's office.
17:22Put the crook in jail.
17:28And now, my own Uncle Jesse.
17:31Yay!
17:34Frank, now you're probably wondering
17:37why this Dukes is back in Roscoe for sheriff here.
17:40Well, sometimes you don't...
17:41And so Uncle Jesse went ahead and gave a campaign speech
17:44for a man that no Duke had ever endorsed before.
17:46Roscoe knows the people of this here town.
17:49And Roscoe is a sneak.
17:51Roscoe!
17:52So was you.
17:53So when you got to choose between Roscoe and Coltrane...
17:56Don't go interrupting me while all those good folks
17:58are saying those nice things about me.
18:00Yeah, well, that's just the point.
18:01I want you to arrest all them good folks,
18:04namely the Dukes.
18:05Are you kidding me?
18:07For what?
18:09Well, they're campaigning without a license, ain't they?
18:12I mean, they're disturbing the peace,
18:14creating a big disturbance here.
18:15We just are pee-picking minute here.
18:17I'm not going to arrest these nice folks
18:19when they're helping me keep my job.
18:24Well, then they just helped you out of a job.
18:27You're suspended.
18:29You mean I'm fired?
18:31No, no, you're just suspended.
18:34For the time being, see?
18:36Hand over your badge.
18:38You mean my badge?
18:39Yeah.
18:40Come on, come on.
18:43This is very painful to me.
18:46You can say that again.
18:48This is very painful to me.
18:49No, I meant to be.
18:50Here we ho.
18:51Raise your right hand.
18:52Do you?
18:53I do.
18:54Boys, do you?
18:56We do.
18:56Good.
18:57Now, I pronounce you acting deputies.
18:59I'll arrest all them Dukes
19:01for campaigning without a permit.
19:03Oh, yeah?
19:12Now, trying to catch one Dukes,
19:13much less all four,
19:15is like trying to catch a handful of eels
19:17with a fistful of action wreaths.
19:36Lulu, you don't know what you're doing to me.
19:39Ah, come here.
19:40Oh, my God.
19:48I'll tell you what happened last night.
19:49It came over about.
20:01Don't lose them.
20:15Don't lose them.
20:17So, anyway, they got to ride
20:20at 9 o'clock.
20:21Huh?
20:22Yeah, but I mean, see,
20:23so then they took me right to the picture show.
20:25So, anyway...
20:51Uncle Jesse, Daisy,
20:53we're coming up on Tri-Corner.
20:54Now, Uncle Jesse,
20:55I want you to take the right fork.
20:57Daisy, you take the left.
20:58Koi and me are going to go up the middle.
21:00Now, they can't follow all three of us in one car,
21:02so we'll draw them all.
21:04We'll meet you later on
21:05in our favorite picnic round.
21:06We're gone.
21:07Hold on, let's get it.
21:22As Jesse and Daisy took the side forks,
21:25Koi slowed down the general
21:26just enough on the middle road
21:27so as to keep the heavies at them.
21:30Then it worked like a charm.
21:32Now, all Koi and Vance had to do
21:33was lose the weight
21:34that they had picked up.
21:36Now, let's just hope Snuffy's
21:38still working that road construction job
21:39on the old North Road.
21:42This here's Vance Duke calling Snuffy.
21:44You out there, good buddy?
21:45One thing good about the Hazard County
21:47good old boy's channel.
21:48There's always a friend you need
21:50out there ready to pitch in.
22:08Okay, start slowing down, partner.
22:12They must have run out of gas.
22:18Hey, hey, buddy.
22:20Why do you put this door down?
22:22You're officers of the law.
22:25Hey.
22:26You all buckle up now.
22:28Have a good flight.
22:30Thanks, Snuffy.
22:31See you later.
22:31You got it, Vance.
22:34Barkley and Norris all up in the air.
22:36The campaign trail was still open
22:38for Roscoe's helpers.
22:39Wind chill factor whipping through my...
22:42I tell you, a man could chill
22:44his vitals driving in this vehicle.
22:46This is embarrassing.
22:48I wonder I couldn't win an election
22:50driving this junk heap.
22:52It's just...
22:53You know...
22:55Driving a vehicle like this
22:57is embarrassing.
22:58Look at the thing.
23:00Maybe a bath.
23:01Maybe just a...
23:03Oh!
23:04Did you...
23:06Well, that's just par for the course.
23:10This thing isn't even worth washing.
23:11While old Roscoe was giving his car
23:13the 100,000-mile kick test,
23:15old Huey was trying out his new uniform.
23:17Well, Roscoe.
23:19What?
23:21Living in the public streets, huh?
23:23Yeah, that's gonna cost you $150.
23:25Are you kidding?
23:26$150 for this junk heap?
23:28It's not...
23:29Did you see that?
23:31Did you...
23:32Why don't we make that $250?
23:35I don't know.
23:36What's your name, huh?
23:38Think, J.D. Hogg.
23:40Think!
23:42There's gotta be a way
23:43to stop you
23:44and get back that picture
23:45and that tape.
23:57I got it.
23:58That's it.
23:59Just sign right there, Roscoe.
24:01I know where to sign,
24:02you dipstick.
24:02Good dog.
24:04Yeah.
24:05There you go.
24:06Listen, you wait.
24:07Give me that thing, will you?
24:08You did it.
24:09I hate you.
24:10A.G.
24:11Jones.
24:12Scuff him.
24:13What is it?
24:13Roscoe.
24:14Roscoe.
24:15Roscoe.
24:16What?
24:17Great.
24:18My goodness.
24:19All right, forget about that, will you?
24:21And just listen to me
24:22because I have got a confession
24:24to make to you.
24:25Well, don't tell me.
24:26Tell that low-life Huey Hogg.
24:27You know what he did?
24:28He had the nerve to give me a ticket
24:30for littering the street
24:31with my own vehicle.
24:32Yeah, well, that's nothing
24:33compared to what he's done to me.
24:34Oh?
24:35And according to he found out
24:36that I,
24:37and this is the confession
24:38I want to make.
24:39Yeah.
24:39I was trying to cheat you
24:41out of the cut of a deal I'm in.
24:43You didn't.
24:44I did.
24:45You did?
24:45That's right.
24:46I tell you,
24:46you got more twists and turns
24:48than a corkscrew, boss.
24:49Well, all right, listen.
24:50I'm going to change all that.
24:51You're going honest.
24:53No.
24:53Well, I'll withdraw that question.
24:55What I'm going to do is
24:56I'm going to get your beds back.
24:57Oh, goody-goody gumdrops.
24:59Once you steal back
25:00that snapshot and tape
25:02that Huey is using
25:03to black me or me.
25:04Yeah, so come on.
25:05Let's go after it.
25:06Well, I wouldn't, boss.
25:07Don't you tell her!
25:08Oh!
25:09You take that thing!
25:10Oh, look at that!
25:12That's a miss!
25:13I know it.
25:14Look at this, Corey!
25:15Ow!
25:19Termites.
25:20All right, we'll walk.
25:20Come on, let's go!
25:23Well, maybe boss
25:25is the one who needs the help.
25:28You might have a point there.
25:30Maybe if we could help boss
25:31with whatever it is
25:33that Huey's got on him,
25:34we could get boss
25:35to change side.
25:36Well, what do you say
25:37we go have a little talk
25:37with boss Hogg?
25:39Let's go!
25:41Come on along here.
25:43That little varmint
25:44went right in there.
25:45There he is.
25:49He's fast asleep
25:50in the gym.
25:51Sneaking a snooze.
25:52Yeah, now listen.
25:52He's got to have
25:53that snapshot
25:53in that tape
25:54in one of his pockets.
25:55Right.
25:56Yeah.
25:56So, uh,
25:57slipping it out
25:58ought to be as easy
25:59as falling off a log.
26:00Easier, easier.
26:00Yeah, all right.
26:01Then go in and do it.
26:02Me?
26:02Yes.
26:02You, what do I always have to do?
26:10No.
26:21You see?
26:24There's nothing at that.
26:25You see?
26:26That one?
26:26Mm-mm.
26:27Gee-hee.
26:28Yeah, yeah.
26:29Mm-mm.
26:30Oh, there it is, too.
26:32You're looking
26:33for a close shave, buddy.
26:34You came to the right place.
26:36Looks like Roscoe's
26:37gonna have a long
26:38look at his own jail.
26:47You have just
26:48broke the camel's back.
26:49Now, do you hear me?
26:50Yeah, I hear you.
26:51You get out of here.
26:52You get out of here.
26:52I have put up
26:53with these over the years.
26:54Put your back
26:54in this little pipsqueak
26:56for that election.
26:56Yeah, but I don't understand.
26:57Now, this.
26:58This is the end.
26:59Do you hear me?
27:00Yeah, I hear you.
27:00You're getting out, out, out.
27:02No, I mean it.
27:03Get out.
27:03Who is that?
27:05Come here.
27:06J.D., you're getting
27:07out of this house
27:08until Roscoe gets out of jail
27:09and gets his job
27:11back as sheriff.
27:11Now, do you hear me?
27:12I do, I do.
27:13Lulu, did I hear you right?
27:14You're trying to tell me
27:15Roscoe's in jail?
27:16Right.
27:17For what?
27:18That little worm
27:19of a Huey hog
27:21claims that Roscoe
27:22tried to rob him.
27:23Do you believe that?
27:24That just don't make sense.
27:32Oh, well, here's
27:33a little worm right now.
27:36The short one
27:37is the worm.
27:45Nobody move.
27:46You Dukes are under arrest.
27:47What's the charge?
27:48Well, it was for
27:49disturbing the peace
27:50and campaigning
27:51without a license,
27:52but now it's for
27:52consorting with
27:53a known criminal.
27:54That's right.
27:55Put the cuffs on them
27:56and cart them away.
27:56Oh, is that so?
27:58Whoa, wait a minute.
27:58Turn out the ladder.
27:59Come on, bud.
28:09Well, the problem
28:15with being up
28:16against Huey hog
28:17is he can think.
28:19I don't think the boys
28:20are going to get out
28:20of this very easy.
28:27Well, Detroit
28:28sidewalks are coming up.
28:29Hang on, cuz!
28:31Yeah!
28:39This running ain't
28:39taking us nowhere
28:40but the circle.
28:41You're right.
28:42What do we do now?
28:43The way I see it,
28:44Huey's got something.
28:45Boss and Roscoe
28:46are trying to steal it back.
28:48We gotta find out
28:48what it is?
28:49Yep.
29:00Looks like Daisy
29:01and Jesse are going
29:02to be keeping company
29:03with Roscoe.
29:04Having sniffed out
29:05the notion that
29:06Huey had something
29:07on Boss
29:07that made Boss
29:08double-cross Roscoe.
29:09All right, Barkley,
29:10why don't you go
29:10in the other office
29:11there and put out
29:11an APB on coin advance
29:12and get them dukes
29:14one way or the other.
29:14Norris, I want you
29:15to go in and check in
29:15Daisy in her cell
29:16and make sure
29:17she's comfortable
29:17and could you bring
29:19these compliments
29:20of Sheriff Huey Hogg?
29:23Yeah.
29:24The boys knew
29:25the first order of business
29:26was to get their family
29:27out of jail
29:28and they decided
29:29to raise a real stink
29:30about it
29:31and they found
29:32the best man
29:32for the job.
29:49You hear that?
29:50I didn't hear nothing
29:51but I sure smell something.
29:52Hey, me.
29:54Hey, my cigar.
29:56There's a skunk in here.
29:58Here you go.
30:03Whoo!
30:04Oh!
30:10It's patient time.
30:14Except for leaving
30:15an odor
30:16that you could hang
30:16a hat on,
30:18it was a clean getaway.
30:21Well, it took some doing
30:23by the dukes
30:23but they finally convinced
30:24Roscoe to spill
30:25the whole bowl of beer.
30:27Huey's got a tape recording
30:29and a photograph
30:29that he's blackmailing
30:30both home with.
30:32And that Huey
30:33being nobody's dummy
30:34has probably got it
30:35locked up somewhere safe.
30:37Then we could put
30:38a little pressure
30:38on old Huey
30:39to force his hand to might.
30:40You know, get him
30:40over a barrel
30:41so we could trade off.
30:42Hey, y'all.
30:43What about me?
30:44Huey has always
30:45had eyes for men.
30:46Hey, Daisy's got
30:48an idea there.
30:49A woman sure
30:49can loosen up
30:50a man's tongue.
30:51Yeah, now if she
30:52could get him to talking,
30:53maybe confess a couple
30:54of those shady deals
30:55of his.
30:56Great idea.
30:57Well, have that
30:57tape recorder on her.
30:58If anyone can get
30:59that hug and squeal,
31:00Daisy can.
31:01Yeah.
31:02No, now just a minute.
31:04I'm not letting her
31:04go in there
31:05with that octopus piranha.
31:08Uncle Jesse,
31:08I'll tell you what.
31:09If Huey lays
31:10one hand on me,
31:11I'm gonna nap
31:12look him flat
31:12on his butt.
31:13Turned up pancakes.
31:15Ha, ha, ha, ha.
31:16Daisy.
31:18Well, they got a hold
31:20of a mini tape machine
31:21and Daisy became
31:22a walk-in recording studio.
31:24You know,
31:24I know a lot of pickers
31:25in Nashville
31:26that like to play there.
31:28And what you're about
31:29to witness
31:29is called a weekend play.
31:31Sending in a girl
31:32with a Sunday school face
31:33against a man
31:34with Saturday night ideas.
31:36Hi, Huey.
31:37Hi.
31:38Whoa.
31:39I mean, Sheriff Huey.
31:42I'm here to surrender.
31:43Oh, good.
31:44I am.
31:45I have realized
31:46that I've got
31:47to turn myself in
31:48because you're too much
31:49of a man for me, Huey.
31:50Ha, ha.
31:50I don't know what it is,
31:52but I've just
31:52always had this
31:53hankering for you.
31:54You're so, so...
31:56Macho?
31:57Yeah.
31:59That's what it is.
32:00Yeah.
32:01Ha, ha, ha.
32:03Uh,
32:05do you always
32:06dress like that, Daisy?
32:08Huh, well, yeah.
32:10I mean,
32:10when I'm gonna go swimming,
32:11I do.
32:12Uh-huh.
32:12And I thought maybe,
32:13Huey, that you and I
32:14could go for a swim.
32:16Yeah?
32:16Yeah.
32:17Uh-huh.
32:18Maybe just you and me,
32:19uh, all by ourselves.
32:20Oh, yeah.
32:22But first,
32:23I thought maybe
32:23you could tell me
32:24all about yourself.
32:25Well, like what?
32:27Um,
32:28how about all those
32:29exciting, heroic ways
32:30you made all that big money?
32:32Because, Huey,
32:33I'll tell you,
32:33Boss Hogg says
32:34you're too stupid
32:35to do anything like that.
32:36Yeah.
32:37That's so.
32:38Uh-huh.
32:38Yeah, well,
32:39he probably never told you
32:41about the time
32:41that I built that bank
32:43and hatched me
32:44out all them bonds.
32:45He probably never,
32:46ever told you
32:46about the time
32:47that I was out there
32:48with them boys
32:48and Loomis
32:49and had that hijacking
32:50or the time
32:50that I had that
32:51fencing operation
32:51going on.
32:52He probably never told you,
32:53hey, Daisy,
32:55how about a kiss?
32:57Oh, no, thanks.
32:58I mean,
32:59I gotta go.
32:59No, you don't.
33:00Yes, I do.
33:05Bye-bye, Huey.
33:09I guess sometimes
33:10my macho-ness
33:11just scares them away.
33:12Ha-ha.
33:13Oh.
33:16Boss Hogg says
33:17you're too stupid
33:18to do anything like that.
33:20And so?
33:21Yeah, well,
33:22he probably never told you
33:24about the time
33:24that I built that bank
33:26and hatched me
33:27out all them bonds.
33:28He probably...
33:30What'd you turn it off for?
33:32I didn't turn it off.
33:33Well, then where's
33:34the rest of them?
33:34The confession part?
33:35I don't know.
33:36I...
33:37Oh, shoot a bug.
33:39Huey must have
33:40turned off the machine
33:40when he went
33:41and tried to kiss me.
33:42Dang it.
33:43Good old Huey.
33:44He could turn anybody off.
33:46Well, they weren't
33:46a great idea.
33:47Yeah.
33:48Wait a minute.
33:49Not so fast.
33:50Maybe there's enough
33:51on that tape
33:51to convince Huey
33:52that there's more.
33:53You mean bluffing?
33:54It's the only chance
33:55we got.
33:57Let's hear what
33:57we got on it now.
33:58Yeah.
34:08The Dukes
34:09are doing what?
34:10Yeah, yeah.
34:10Oh, dang
34:11blasted, Roscoe.
34:12Oh, no.
34:12Don't you realize
34:13that if them Dukes
34:15got that picture
34:16and that tape,
34:16they can blackmail me
34:17the same way
34:18Huey's doing.
34:19Well, I didn't know that.
34:20You know, listen,
34:21you know what
34:22we ought to do
34:22is we ought to get
34:23that tape
34:24from the Duke boys
34:25and then make
34:25our own deal
34:26with Huey Hall.
34:27Well, that's just
34:27what I'm thinking.
34:28Yeah.
34:28Come on, let's go here.
34:29Come on, I'll drive you.
34:30Oh, not in this, miss.
34:31Oh.
34:31Come on, use my car.
34:35He's driving.
34:36This way, you're bringing it.
34:38Come on.
34:40Get home.
34:41Here you go.
34:41Be careful.
34:42I'll drive.
34:43The Dukes played
34:44the only car they had
34:46and old Huey fell for.
34:47Hook, line, and sink.
34:52Catch me out
34:53there, Huey.
34:54You Dukes think
34:55you're pretty smart,
34:55don't you?
34:56I'd say we're smart enough
34:57to know that this here
34:58tape played all the way
34:59through could send you
35:00to jail for about,
35:01oh, 100 years or so.
35:03Now, do we swap
35:04or don't we?
35:05We swap.
35:07All right, then.
35:08Morgan Glue Works,
35:09mainline switch,
35:10one hour.
35:12What do we do now?
35:13We, uh,
35:15worry a lot.
35:16Yeah, come on.
35:17We're gonna get that tape
35:18and them Dukes
35:19before any meeting
35:20at Morgan Glue Works.
35:22Now, as Coy and Vance
35:23was on their way
35:24to meet Huey
35:25and bail out
35:25Boss and Roscoe,
35:27Boss and Roscoe
35:28was looking to get in
35:29first licks
35:29and grab that tape
35:30away from Coy and Vance,
35:32not realizing
35:32they'd be cutting
35:33their own throats.
35:35Oh, look, look, look.
35:36There they are.
35:38And there they go.
35:39Did I just see
35:40what I just saw?
35:41Boss and Roscoe
35:42back together again.
35:43In a book.
35:44There it is.
35:45I've heard
35:46made it.
35:47Ever notice how
35:48the simple things
35:49seem to get
35:49complicated and hazard.
35:50Got me a strange feeling
35:52they're gonna try
35:52to take this tape
35:53from us
35:53before we can
35:53settle up with Huey.
35:55Well, hang on, cuz.
35:56We're about to put
35:57some rubber
35:57in between them and us.
36:06But what the boys
36:07wasn't counting on
36:08was a flatbed
36:09full of beer
36:10on its way
36:10to the boar's nest.
36:12Because you see,
36:13life does go on
36:14even in hazard.
36:25Hey, what's that
36:26rolling towards us?
36:28These barrels
36:28are the last,
36:29that's for sure.
36:30The way I figure,
36:31they're lucky
36:32that truck
36:32wasn't delivering
36:33sports cars.
36:42Oh, careful!
36:43All right, come on,
36:44turn around,
36:45we gotta get away
36:45with these barrels.
36:52You're doing all right,
36:53partner.
36:54Ain't had much practice
36:55avoiding the beer.
36:56What's that
36:57running in that barrel?
36:58Get around here!
37:01Hey, what kind of a driver
37:03are you?
37:04Did you see it coming?
37:09Hey, you lost your beer.
37:11Stop!
37:17Would you look at that?
37:18That don't pretty
37:19up the scenery.
37:23No.
37:24Well, I hate
37:25to keep Huey waiting,
37:26but there seems
37:26to be some damsels
37:27in distress up there.
37:30Lower the light, folks.
37:31I'm ready.
37:38Well, howdy, ladies.
37:39Could you be of any help?
37:40Sorry to disappoint you, boys,
37:43but you could be
37:44a real big help to me.
37:46Thank you, girls.
37:47You can take off now.
37:48Just get yourselves ready
37:49for the big victory ball.
37:51You had your fun now, boys.
37:53Saved your trip.
37:55Why don't you just
37:56hand over that
37:57tape Daisy made
37:58right here and now?
38:02Okay, boys.
38:04Hold out your hands.
38:06Take care of me.
38:09baby.
38:27Well, you want us to go after him, Huey?
38:29Yeah, a waste of time. Nothing much they can do on the run as wanted men.
38:34Tad, I got what I came for anyway. Let's go.
38:40Well, that does it. If Huey listens to that tape, he'll know we never had anything on him in the
38:45first place.
38:46Not exactly. The fact is, Huey won't hear anything at all.
38:50Because I gave him a blank tape. I got daisies right here.
38:56That's great.
39:07It's blank. I've been holding swaddled. Them Dukes gave me a blank tape.
39:13This here's Vance Duke calling Acton Sheriff Huey Hogg. You got your ears on, Huey?
39:18Yeah, it's me, Vance Duke.
39:20And I tell you, you're going to go to jail for more years than your Uncle Jesse's got whiskers.
39:23Is that so? Well, if I do, you're going to be right there with me, because we still got that
39:27tape.
39:28Now, listen, you meet us at Morgan's Glue Works.
39:30And you got 15 minutes. And don't try any funny business this time.
39:33Oh, Russell, did you hear that?
39:37I got a second chance.
39:39Yeah, come on, come on, get going.
39:41Get going, will you?
39:42Turn it, turn it.
39:44Yeah, oh, get further, get the email.
39:47Come on, get the email.
39:48Now that'll win.
39:50You know, I think you kids are barking up the wrong tree.
39:53You know, that Huey Hogg, he's nobody's fool.
39:55Now, you're not going to be able to bluff him a second time.
39:57We don't intend to bluff him this time, Uncle Jesse.
39:59That's why we're taking Daisy with us.
40:01Bye, Uncle Jesse.
40:02See you.
40:07Well, I sure wouldn't want to be that Huey Hogg.
40:16Bye, Uncle Jesse.
40:40All right, Huey, let's get down to business.
40:43We got ours and you got yours.
40:44Yeah, right here.
40:45But this time I want to hear that tape of yours all the way through first.
40:48You mean you want to hear yourself confessing to all those crimes you committed, Huey?
40:52Like that phony bond deal you pulled over at the bank in Hatchipee?
40:55Oh, yeah, and them counterfeit plates I had made up?
40:57Yeah, I want to hear all that stuff.
40:59And like that hijacking over there in Loomis and like that protection racket I got running?
41:03Oh, yeah, and I want to hear all about my fencing operation, too.
41:06Yeah, all that stuff.
41:07I want to make sure you really got it all on that tape there.
41:10If we didn't have it before, Huey, we sure got it now.
41:13All right, that's just what we was waiting for.
41:16All right.
41:16Just freeze it right there.
41:18Well, well, well, well.
41:19Well, I do believe that this brings to a close any and all negotiations, don't it?
41:24Now then, Huey, this is the end of the line for you.
41:26Hand over that evidence.
41:28Come on, come on.
41:29Come on, come on.
41:30All right.
41:32All right, Roscoe.
41:34Listen, I want you to arrest my nephew, Huey Hogg, for blackmailing me.
41:37And then, I want you to arrest these dudes for blackmailing my nephew, Huey Hogg.
41:41Oh, yeah, she's naughty naughty.
41:42That way everybody goes to jail.
41:45Wrong again, boss.
41:46Oh, drop the gun, Roscoe.
41:48Let me just have this, fellas.
41:50Wait a minute.
41:50Nice work, boys.
41:53I'm afraid you're wrong, too, Huey.
41:54See, Barkley and me figure on taking over from now on.
41:57Seems we got something on all of you.
41:59Why are you two-timing, double-necking?
42:02You can't even find an honest crook anymore.
42:04Watch it, watch it.
42:06No.
42:16Get in.
42:19Get me out there.
42:20Get her stand up.
42:23Let go, let go, let go, let go, let go.
42:30Let's get out of here.
42:37Here, put down the hand here.
42:39Push away.
42:40Stuck to you.
42:41Stuck to you.
42:42Ah!
42:43Ah!
42:44Ah!
42:45Ah!
42:46Ah!
42:46Ah!
42:47Ah!
42:48Ah!
42:49Ah!
42:51Ah!
42:51Ah!
42:52Ah!
42:53Ah!
42:53Ah!
42:55Ah!
42:57Ah!
42:57Ah!
42:59Ah!
42:59Ah!
43:00Ah!
43:01Ah!
43:03Ah!
43:03Ah!
43:04A sheriff's patrol car being chased by General Lee, but this time, it don't even look unusual.
43:12Coming up on Stump Hollow Road, see if you can herd him onto it.
43:15You got it.
43:27Look out!
43:28Look out!
43:30Folks, we're just about to see an enemy missile launch itself.
43:41Well, Coy and Vance got them bad guys out, but the tapes and snapshots were gone forever,
43:47along with the patrol car that Boss made Roscoe pay for.
43:50Once Roscoe got re-elected and got back his badge, and Boss got Lulu back, which didn't seem really fair.
43:57Lulu hadn't done anything wrong.
43:59Boss got Lulu's permission to break camp on the front lawn and move back into the house.
44:04Hughie and his double-crossing cohorts were told to leave town and never return.
44:08But, being family, old Hughie and Boss shared one final embrace.
44:13Put them in the back there.
44:14Yeah.
44:15And, Hughie, don't you ever show up here again. Bye, bye, bye.
44:21All right, then.
44:23Wait a minute.
44:24What?
44:24Wait a minute.
44:25That part-size Popping Jay of a nephew of mine stole my gold watch in Eugene.
44:30Who?
44:30All right, after him.
44:32Come on, Roscoe.
44:32After him.
44:34After him.
44:35Driver.
44:36Driver, driver.
44:37Where's my driver?
44:39All right, Roscoe.
44:40Come on.
44:40Come on, Roe.
44:41Come on!
44:43Oh no, no, no, no, no, no!
44:44Water's coming up!
44:46Water's coming!
44:47Get out of the water all over me!
44:49Get out of here!
44:51Get out of here!
44:52Get out of here!
44:54All of which ended a pretty normal election.
44:57It hasn't yet.
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