- 2 days ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:01On the Dukes, everyone is rushing for a sip of the legacy.
00:05What am I going to do with nine full barrels of second-grade shine?
00:11$49,500!
00:14Hadn't been a hijacker born, they can get away from me yet.
00:16They just did!
00:21Heaven help us.
00:26Hang on, Daisy.
00:28Y'all come back, you hear?
00:34Just a good old boy
00:38Never meaning no harm
00:42Beats all you never saw
00:43Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born
00:49Straightening the curves
00:52Flattening the hills
00:56Someday the mountain might get them
00:58But the law never will
01:01Making their way
01:04The only way they know how
01:08That's just a little bit more than the law will allow
01:14Just a good old boy
01:17Wouldn't change if they could
01:21Fighting the system like a true modern-day Robin Hood
01:39Y'all ever have one of them days when everything was clicking along peaceful and perfect?
01:44Just waiting to go wrong
01:45Well, the Dukes have a lot of days like that
01:48And this one is no different
01:56The road's getting as crowded as the Indianapolis 500
02:02Get over!
02:12Get over!
02:22He's in trouble, you better speed up, Luke
02:23Got it
02:28All right, now you pull up alongside her
02:29Hold her steady, I'll see what I can do
02:31All right
02:31You be careful now
02:32Yes, sir
02:53I'm gonna try and slow them down
03:02I'm gonna try and slow them down
03:03Hang on, now
03:04All right, now it's the hare
03:05All right, now it's the hare
03:08All right, now
03:09Yeah, you got him now
03:11Whoo, that's all we start out
03:13Whoo
03:18Let me out of here
03:19Are you all right, ma'am?
03:22Oh, I think so, thanks to all of you
03:25Jesse!
03:27Looks like the Duke boy's interest in women runs in the family
03:30Oh, Jesse's a Duke boy, too, you know
03:32Beautiful as he ever was
03:33Oh, Jesse, you haven't changed much, either
03:36Except maybe your beard's just a little white
03:38Are you gonna introduce us to the lady?
03:43Oh, excuse me, I was so taken aback I forgot my manners
03:46Now, Lucinda, these here are my nephews
03:48That there's Luke Duke and the other there is Bo Duke
03:51Hi, boys
03:52Boys, this is Lucinda Meadows
03:54How do you do, ma'am?
03:55Glad to meet you
03:56She's the first lady I ever courted in my whole life
03:58Well, and I wasn't the only one, J.D. Hogg
04:01He courted you some, too
04:02Yeah
04:03Between J.D. and Uncle Jesse, I'm surprised you escaped unscathed
04:06Well, as I recall, they was also busy arguing
04:09At that time, Cyrus to sweet-talked me in eloping with him
04:13Well, a lot of water's run up the creek since then
04:16Looks like we've got an awful lot of catching up to do
04:19There you are
04:21Well, now, let's get you towed over to Cooter's Garage
04:25Oh, yeah
04:25And the repairs is on me
04:27Now, we'll just take...
04:28Oh
04:28Well, don't just stand there
04:30Let's get this car seagged up and get it over to Cooter's
04:32I'll ride with you and we can talk
04:34Good
04:34Well, I ain't never seen Uncle Jesse act like that before
04:38Well, you ain't never seen around a pretty widow of me, either
04:43Cletus Hogg
04:44With this badge, I appoint official temporary acting sheriff of Hazel County
04:52How do you feel?
04:52Oh, I like that
04:53But, Cousin Boss, you sure you know what you're doing?
04:55I mean, two sheriffs? What's Roscoe gonna say?
04:58Nothing, because he ain't here
04:59Don't you remember what I told you?
05:01Roscoe and that helpless hound of his flesh
05:03They both went over to Capital City for obedience training
05:08But Roscoe doesn't need obedience training, he comes whenever you call
05:11And you better come when I call you, now that you're taking over Roscoe's job
05:15Well, does that mean I also get to take over Roscoe's pay?
05:18That's right
05:18Mm-hmm
05:19And you also get to take over giving me his kickback
05:23Kickback
05:23Mm-hmm
05:25Come!
05:28Wilbur Fudge, what are you doing here?
05:29Can't see if the boss is visiting, I just get
05:31Oh, oh, hey, Cletus, Cletus, now
05:33That's no way to treat your new official temporary acting deputy
05:37What's the way I get treated?
05:38The boss, I'm the county controller, I deal with money
05:41I don't know deadly about law enforcing
05:43All right, all right, Wilbur, then you can start right off with your O-G-T
05:48My O-J-T?
05:49Of course, your O-J-Ts, don't you know your O-J-T?
05:51You got your... you...
05:54Exactly what is O-J-T, boss?
05:56On the job training, lug nut
05:58On the job training, dipstick
05:59Now, we'll start right off taking that visor off
06:02And replacing it with your official hat
06:07Well, that'll have to do
06:08Deputy Wilbur Fudge, consider yourself sworn in till Roscoe returns
06:12Yes, sir
06:13Sheriff Cletus Hall
06:14Sir
06:14Take your deputy in hand
06:17No, no, forget it
06:19Deputy Fudge, your O-J-T starts right now
06:21You watch me and do exactly what I do
06:23Exactly, yes, sir
06:40Heaven help him
06:42Oh, oh, oh, oh
06:46Oh, shoot, fire and save box matches
06:50What's the great news, Cooter?
06:52Well, your brakes are completely shot
06:54I mean, it is a wonder that you all made it to Hazard County
06:57Well, I put myself in the hands of the Lord
07:00And he put me in the hands of the Dukes
07:02And I guess maybe you couldn't get a better combination than that
07:05Amen
07:06Well, I'm gonna have to call up the hotline and get a brake kit
07:09And it's gonna take most of the day to get it running right
07:11Oh, I don't mind
07:13That'll give me time to do some business here
07:15Yes, ma'am
07:15I'll give old Pete a call
07:16Okay
07:17Take her easy
07:17Yep
07:19What's this?
07:20Well, read it
07:21Read it
07:22June the 4th, 1940
07:24To Mr. Cyrus Meadows
07:26I owe you the sum of $5,000 payable on demand
07:30Signed, J.D. Hall
07:33J.D.
07:34You boys got your earmuffs?
07:36Earmuffs?
07:37He's gonna scream to high heaven when he sees this
07:41$5,000?
07:44Lucy and Domatoes
07:46My old old Lucy Ducey
07:50You know, I just can't believe that a gal I loved and cherished Sue
07:54Would come back to town after 40 years and show me a thing like that
07:59Honey, you sure you ain't got me mixed up with some other old fling?
08:04Well, now that's your signature, isn't it?
08:07This?
08:07Oh, couldn't be
08:08Oh, she got you there, J.D.
08:10Everybody that hasn't recognized that chubby little chicken scratch of yours
08:13Cretus!
08:13One more squawk ought to you about my chicken scratches and you'll be a dead duck
08:16Yes, sir
08:18Um
08:18Yeah, yeah, yeah
08:20Well, that is my signature
08:21Uh, and you know, honey
08:24Much as this old joker wouldn't mind doing anything for a gal like you
08:28I'm afraid the statute of limitations done run out after the first seven years
08:33What's that supposed to mean?
08:35Well, discounting the whereazers, the to-wits, and the ipso-factos
08:38This note ain't worth the paper it's read on
08:40Which means there ain't no way I'm giving you $5,000
08:43Much as I sure would like to oblige an old sweetheart in any other way I could
08:48Now, old boss didn't become boss by hiding behind the door when brains was handed out
08:53He knew Lucinda wasn't gonna forget about that $5,000
08:55So he kept watching her with his minion, whatever them is
08:59Would you pass me the pepper when you're through, Dean?
09:01Sure
09:02Thank you
09:03You know, it's hard for me to believe that J.D. Hogg can't pay you the money that he owes
09:10you
09:10Not can't, won't
09:11There's a big difference
09:12This is a new low, even for boss Hogg
09:15Beating Lucinda here out of her retiring money
09:17Well, it just means I won't be able to retire as soon as a thought
09:20Now, you just hold it right there
09:22As long as I own this farm or any one of these kids own it
09:26You got a place to live, you can retire anytime you want
09:30Uncle Jesse, that stingy old boss Hogg ain't gonna let her do that
09:33Now, you just hold it right there
09:35There's not gonna be any more derogatory talk about J.D. Hogg at this table
09:39Yes, sir
09:40Might curdle the buttermilk
09:46Hey, Bo, you notice anything different around the table?
09:48I mean, besides Miss Lucinda
09:50Oh, no, nothing much
09:52Just our cute old Uncle Jesse over there all gussied up is all
09:55Now, wait just a minute, I fix up every once in a while
09:59Especially when there's a lady present
10:01Well, I like that, what am I, a cold grip?
10:03No, just hold it right there, don't you be sassing your elders
10:07Let's be figuring out how we're gonna get Lucinda here her money
10:11Don't you fret none, Jesse
10:13Now, before my Cyrus passed on
10:16He told me that if things ever got rough
10:19I was to ask you to find me the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
10:24That don't make sense
10:25Pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
10:28Well, it makes sense now if he's talking about the old rainbow mine
10:32Now, him and me used to run in there every once in a while when the revenues got too close
10:36But I don't suppose anybody's been in that mine since
10:38There's no wonder them old abandoned mines are full of bats and rats and all kinds of creepy things
10:43Like Bo and Luke
10:46All the same, part of that mine's under Duke property
10:50Now then, whatever is sitting on a mountain of money or a ton of trouble, we best find out what's
10:57down there
11:06Now remember, as soon as they pass, we follow
11:09But I don't know anything about following, just add and subtract and size they ain't doing nothing
11:13But they're gonna, that's how come cousin boss told us to fail them
11:17We're gonna catch them in the app
11:44Luke, you ain't never gonna believe who's behind us
11:47You remember that guy used to wander around town with a calculator all the time?
11:51Oh, the county controller?
11:52Wilbur, that's him back there
11:55Dang, if there is anything to find in that mine, I don't want them to looking over our shoulders when
11:59we find it
11:59Let's lose them, alright?
12:00Right, Wilbur
12:03You hit it
12:11They're lighting out like a pair of blue-tailed flies with a bullfrogs snapping at their tails
12:16Yeah, that's cause they're guilty of something
12:18I better find out what, before cousin boss drums me out of the family
12:26I thought you was gonna lose them
12:28Luke, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a side seat driver
12:30Now I'm gonna lose them as soon as I pass by the old sawmill, alright?
12:34Thank you
12:40Pay attention now, Wilbur
12:41Get the peanut butter out of your ears
12:43That road doubles back a few hundred yards past the sawmill
12:45So we're just gonna take a little shortcut and be waiting for them
13:02He he he he he he he
13:03It worked, it worked, I told you it worked
13:06He he he he he
13:08Cleetus, did you hear a funny noise?
13:34He's gonna have himself a two-for-one sail?
13:37Grisby
13:37Come back here
13:39Come here
13:40Come here
13:40Uh-huh, I told you I heard a funny noise
13:42Uh, well
13:44I guess today isn't exactly the right day to ask for a raise
14:08Knowing the entire sheriff's department was otherwise occupied
14:11Old Bo and Luke figured it'd be safe enough to look for Lucinda's pot of gold in the rainbow mine
14:19Seems good enough to me
14:24Whoa
14:24All right, you just lower me down
14:25You owe me one
14:31Hang on
14:36Lower steady now, Luke
14:40Hold on your hat now
14:48Let her down steady, will you, Luke?
14:51Watch out for the sides.
14:59Uh, what happened, Luke?
15:03This winch is jammed.
15:05I'm going to see if I can work the rope loose.
15:06You do that, cousin.
15:13Bo, the rope's coming unraveled.
15:15Uh, grab onto something.
15:16There ain't nothing to grab onto, Luke.
15:19Well, I reckon he could grab ahold to both sides and push real hard.
15:30Here, Bo.
15:39I'm going to walk down.
15:48Bo, you all right?
15:50I'm fine.
15:50I'm finally down here at the bottom.
15:53All right.
15:54I'll be right down.
15:55You just hang on a second.
16:23I came down a mite faster than I wanted to.
16:27Looks like an old sauerkraut factory in here.
16:31It's moonshine, Luke.
16:34It could be worse.
16:39Holy smoke, look at that.
16:48You know what's sitting right dab under our property?
16:50Yeah, we get caught with this stuff and there goes our probation.
16:53Hey, you don't suppose this is Miss Lucinda's pot of gold, do you?
16:56Well, nine barrels of it.
16:58Been sitting here aging ever since Cyrus Meadows left Hazard.
17:02Tell you what, let's get a sample for Uncle Jesse.
17:05All righty.
17:06You ought to be able to tell us just how old it is and what the heck we're going to
17:08do with it.
17:10Watch that lantern, too.
17:11We don't want to have us an explosion here.
17:14Might be a fire hazard.
17:25That is terrible.
17:27It is really terrible.
17:29That is not worth shine.
17:32Is that bad, huh?
17:33Bad?
17:34That isn't even shine.
17:36Why, that wouldn't even get you boys in trouble.
17:40Well, Miss Lucinda sure ain't turning up no lucky horseshoes lately.
17:43First off, boss won't pay the I.O.U., and now her pot of gold turns into vinegar.
17:48Just don't even beat up.
17:48I didn't know shine went bad.
17:50Well, good shine don't.
17:52Now, good shine turns into a nice sipping liquor like this.
17:58Now, let's see.
17:59I put this down just about the time that Cyrus and Lucinda left here.
18:06Now, smell it.
18:07Don't sip it.
18:07Just smell it.
18:09Mmm.
18:11Of course, now you realize that I only put it down for medicinal purposes.
18:16Absolutely.
18:17Jesse, are you in there?
18:20Yes, ma'am.
18:21Now, this is not a word about Cyrus and his rotten whiskey.
18:26She's got a lot of fond memories about them, too.
18:30Well, seeing as how you all been out checking the rainbow mine, I reckon that is a sample
18:35of my pot of gold.
18:36Yes, ma'am.
18:37How much of it is down there?
18:39Well, there's, uh...
18:40Well, there's, uh...
18:42Nine full barrels of that stuff, ma'am.
18:44Oh, now, isn't that just like my Cyrus?
18:47You know, he promised to take care of me forever.
18:49I reckon he thought that shine would do it.
18:52Well, now, Lucinda...
18:53If only he hadn't been such a terrible moonshiner.
18:59You knew?
19:00I just made sure that he never knew that I knew.
19:06Boy, is that a relief.
19:07Oh, what am I gonna do with nine full barrels of second-grade shine?
19:13You could turn it into gold by selling it to boss.
19:16Oh, I couldn't do that.
19:18It wouldn't be fair.
19:20Well, ma'am, it wouldn't be no more unfair than him not paying you for that I.O.
19:23Well, you, would it?
19:24And you'd just be collecting your money, plus, well, maybe a little interest.
19:30Well, I never thought of it quite like that.
19:32Well, I'll try, but I wouldn't lie to boss.
19:36I don't reckon you'd have to.
19:38We'd just slip him a sip of Jesse's finest here,
19:41and he'd be so busy counting his profits,
19:43he wouldn't be listening to you at all.
19:45At all.
19:51All right, now, you sure you understand what he wants you to do
19:53when you get in boss's office?
19:55You want me to try to turn on his CB without him spotting me?
19:59Yes, ma'am.
19:59I can't see why.
20:01Call it insurance policy.
20:03That way, if we hear what kind of deal boss is gonna make,
20:05maybe we can stop him from weaseling his way out of it.
20:11Oh, that's mighty kind to you, Lucinda.
20:14I'm right honored to drink a toast to the old days.
20:17Cousin boss, do you mind if I drink a little old toast
20:19to the old days with y'all?
20:22Cletus, you weren't around in the old days,
20:24and I ain't too pleased to have you around in the new days neither.
20:27So get!
20:28Oh, move it, move it!
20:30Sheriff or no sheriff!
20:32Sorry.
20:32And stay out!
20:33What a dipstick!
20:35Now then, where were we, Lucy-ducie?
20:38Oh, yeah, the toast!
20:41To the old days!
20:44Oh, my!
20:48Oh, my!
20:50It was the best sip and shine I ever done tasted!
20:54And I got me nine more big barrels full,
20:58just as old as that sample.
20:59You do?
21:00Say, I don't suppose you'd know somebody
21:02who'd want to take that off my hands, do you?
21:05Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know somebody who would,
21:07provided the price is right.
21:09But, of course, I wouldn't, uh-uh.
21:11That is, my friend wouldn't go for more than $60 a bill.
21:16Oh, I'm sorry, J.D., but, uh, listen, you,
21:19I mean, your friend,
21:22makes that $600 a bill.
21:25I guess I'm just gonna have to sell it to somebody else.
21:27$600?
21:28B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b
21:29that comes to 5,400 simoleons total!
21:32Exactly.
21:33Lucinda,
21:34whatever happened to that sweet, kind,
21:37and generous gal I knowed in love 40 years ago?
21:40But I ain't changed, J.D.,
21:42set maybe I got me 40 more years of smarts behind me.
21:46Shall we say 10% down?
21:48You sure drive a hard ball, but just to show I don't hold it against you
21:53and to prove that that hot fire between us ain't all ashes yet,
21:59will you see the 50% down?
22:0150%?
22:04Gee, you don't suppose Boss Hawk's changing his wicked ways, do you?
22:07Yeah, I believe it when I see the color of his money.
22:09Yeah. Well, well. There we are, my dear.
22:15$5,000 in new bills.
22:18I can't believe it.
22:20$400 more from Pity Kish.
22:23Now then, that's a total of $5,400.
22:28And how much did I promise I'd give you down?
22:31How?
22:32And lover, that's exactly what you're gonna get.
22:45Miss Lucinda and the boys wasn't past spitting distance from the boar's nest
22:49when old Boss started adding up the profits.
22:512,475 fifths.
22:54And at times, $20 a fifth.
22:57Cousin Boss, the way you make your fat little fingers fly, it's amazing if you don't fall off from exhaustion.
23:00And that gives us, meaning mainly me, a clear profit of $49,500 just for openers.
23:12Yeah! What about for closers?
23:15For closers? There ain't no way Lucinda can heft that shine all by herself,
23:19so she's got to have the Duke boys delivered to the boar's nest.
23:21Right.
23:21Where you will be waiting.
23:23I will.
23:24Yeah, you.
23:24What for?
23:25What for?
23:26Well, to catch them in the act and arrest them, that's what for?
23:29Oh, I knew you were gonna say that.
23:30And as soon as them boys are back in the federal pen,
23:33you will make all the evidence, meaning that nine barrels of shine, mysteriously disappear.
23:40I will?
23:40Yeah, you.
23:41Cousin Boss, I can't drink that much.
23:43Yeah.
23:45Forget it.
23:46Dang, here, let me see that.
23:49I knew he was in trouble the minute he offered you 50% of the shine money.
23:53Boss Hogg knows you can't cash your half till you get a hold of his half.
23:56That won't be until they deliver the shine to the boar's nest.
23:59Three o'clock tomorrow.
24:01Boss had put out the word that he was gonna sell nine barrels of the world's best shine.
24:06But there was only one buyer.
24:08The others had been eliminated by a mean Joe Hatcher.
24:11This is Joe Hatcher.
24:13We're heading down to Hazard.
24:15Just call and let you know we pay your price for the shine.
24:17Oh, well, isn't that a coincidence, Hatcher?
24:20I was just about to sell that load of shine to one of your competitors.
24:25We ain't got no competitor.
24:27Now, you listen here.
24:28If that stuff, if ain't as good as you say it is, you're liable to wind up the river wearing
24:33cement shoes.
24:35Cement shoes?
24:37Well, don't you worry, Hatcher.
24:40I mean, Mr. Hatcher, that merchandise will be waiting for you tomorrow afternoon at three o'clock sharp.
24:46Bye.
24:47Bye.
24:48Three o'clock sharp.
24:50Bart, ain't you rushing things a might?
24:51I mean, first of all, we gotta catch the dukes before we can get the shine.
24:54And you know how hard that is.
24:55Look at the job Roscoe's done.
24:56Yeah.
24:57You wanna know why?
24:58It's on account of his police methods out behind the tires.
25:01Why, I bet neither of you could tell a bug when you see it.
25:05Well, sure can.
25:06There's ants and there's crickets and there's juniors.
25:07Oh, no, no, no, no.
25:08Oh, I mean these.
25:09Them's bugs?
25:10Yeah, electronic bugs.
25:12Magnetic beepers.
25:13Now, all you gotta do is slap one of these bugs onto the front fender of all the duke vehicles
25:18like this.
25:20Huh?
25:22And when they start talking about where they're going, their little light starts blinking like that.
25:26And then we can follow them, no matter which call they take to find that shine.
25:31Yes, sir, Rebo, once you slap these bugs in place, them dukes as good as God.
25:39You know, night in Hazard County brings out a lot of strange critters, even a Cletus.
25:55Well, Lucinda, it's been a long time since you and me sat on the front porch swingin' spark.
26:01I remember.
26:03Oh, there are some things you just never forget.
26:08Y'all, I think this is getting serious.
26:10He's out there holdin' hands now.
26:12Oh, Duke, shame on you.
26:14Spyin' on them like that.
26:16And ain't you ever heard of ladies first?
26:17Come on.
26:18Go ahead.
26:19So, after Martha passed away, without the boys and Daisy to look after, I'd have just gone plum crazy.
26:33Did you hear that, Jesse?
26:35Yeah, it's probably some farm that just come down for a free lunch.
26:45It's a big varmint.
26:47I'll scare him.
26:49One of the things a fella has to do is keep on bein' a hog.
27:05I'm sorry, General.
27:07It's gonna hurt me more than it hurts you.
27:20It ain't no ordinary varmint.
27:22Oh, I can't swim.
27:24I can't swim.
27:25Sounds big enough to be a jackass.
27:39Looks like a load of buckshot is headin' for the south end of a northbound mule.
27:52Well, it is a jackass with a badge on.
27:57Oh, it was a heavy attack!
27:59Oh, no, don't you anymore!
28:02Okay, okay, I swear to you, I swear to you, quick!
28:04Ah, I'm okay!
28:06All right, just quit flailin' around in here and just see who you...
28:09It's Cletus.
28:10Cletus?
28:11What's this world comin' to?
28:13The temporary actin' chair skulkin' around like a weasel in a henhouse.
28:18We got us half-minded to make a citizen's arrest, Cletus.
28:21Oh, no, don't do that.
28:22Cousin Boss would kill me.
28:23What do you think I'm gonna do?
28:25Now, I got another round of buckshotin' this gun,
28:29and my trigger finger's just achin' to put it in a seat of your pants.
28:33Uh, well, now, Uncle Jesse, can't we just...
28:37Oh, I guess we can't!
28:41Ah!
28:42Ah!
28:47Look at him go!
28:49Uncle Jesse, you ain't even having near him!
28:50He sure has an active imagination, doesn't he?
28:52He's got a guilty conscience, that's what he's got.
28:55Now, he wouldn't be out here unless J.D. Hogg sent him out.
28:58Yeah, that means he's gonna be bird-doggin' us day and night.
29:01Yeah, the sooner we get Miss Lucinda's shine off the Duke farm, the better.
29:04It's the only way to stop him from jailin' us for violatin' our probation.
29:07Yeah, that's forty-five dollars from the speed traps up there.
29:12Fifteen dollars for parkin' next to a phony fireplug.
29:16It's terrible.
29:18And then various and sundry kit back, seventy-two fifty.
29:24Hatch, I mean, Mr. Hance, what are you fellas doin' here today?
29:30Well, we figured we'd all sleep a lot easier if we took that sippin' shine off your hands right here
29:35and now.
29:36Yeah, but I wasn't supposed to make delivery till tomorrow.
29:38I haven't got it here right here and now.
29:41You believe that, Hatch?
29:43Looks like I got to.
29:45Considering the boss knows I'll break every bone in his fat head if anything, if anything fouls up.
29:53Mr. Hatcher, you can sleep easy tonight, cause there ain't gonna be no fouls.
29:58You betcha it ain't.
29:59Cause we gonna sample every last one of them there burls.
30:03Yeah.
30:04And if that sip and shine don't measure up to your claims?
30:07Yeah.
30:14All right, now, I don't want you boys takin' no chances, just make sure you're not followed
30:19and get that shine off, out from under our property as quick as possible.
30:23Uncle Jesse, don't worry about us.
30:24We ain't hankerin' to spend the next ten years our life in prison anyway.
30:27We figured to stash that stuff in the woods behind Watkins Road.
30:30Leastwise till Miss Lucinda gets the other half of them cut bank bills from boss.
30:34We'll worry about delivering it to the boar's nest later on.
30:37All right, now, just wish us luck.
30:38Oh, honey, good luck.
30:41Be careful.
30:43Yes, sir.
30:48I don't know, Uncle Jesse, but I have a feelin' I'd better tag along just in case somethin' goes wrong.
30:53So, I'll see y'all later.
30:54Bye.
31:04You'd oughta be mighty proud of that gal, Jesse.
31:07She's got plenty of spunk.
31:08Yeah, I know.
31:10She reminds me of you when you were her age.
31:12Well, I got my chores.
31:15Sheesh.
31:24I call.
31:25Guess I win.
31:26Full house.
31:27Uh-oh, you'll lose.
31:28I got five aces.
31:31Deuces wild.
31:32Deuces wild?
31:32You didn't tell me that.
31:34Oh, looky, looky.
31:35My beeper bug is workin'.
31:37Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
31:38Ooh, look at that.
31:39Ooh, ooh, two of them.
31:40Two of them.
31:41Two of them.
31:41Two of them headed right for that shine.
31:43Well, maybe so, but how are we gonna know which one to follow when we don't know which way
31:46they're goin'?
31:46Well, that's easy.
31:47We'll just ask Wilbur.
31:48He's got them beeper lights in his car, just like us.
31:51Uh, this is J.D.
31:52Howell callin' Deputy Wilbur Fudge.
31:54You got your ears unclogged?
31:56Over.
31:56I'm listenin', boss.
31:58And them beeps, they gettin' louder every minute.
32:00Ha, ha, ha, ha.
32:01Well, that means you're closin' in on them.
32:03Where exactly are you, Over?
32:05I'm goin' north on Old Country Road, but that peters out about 20 miles up ahead.
32:09All I know is we got them cornered.
32:11Now, you listen and listen good.
32:13If you spot them dukes in the flesh, you just hold back till we get there.
32:17I wanna make dang sure we catch them with the evidence.
32:21Come on, Sheriff.
32:22Let's go.
32:23Right behind you?
32:26And there's boss's evidence.
32:29Miss Lucinda's legacy.
32:31Mean Joel Hatcher's sippin' shine.
32:33And it ain't fit to drink.
32:34But it is good enough to get the dukes some time in the jailhouse.
32:39All right, you ready?
32:40Get it?
32:41Yeah.
32:42All right.
32:43Swing it around.
32:43You're in.
32:44Okay.
32:45Ooh.
32:48Well, that's six up.
32:49Only three left.
32:52Whew.
32:53No sweat.
32:55I haven't seen hiding here anybody chasing us yet.
32:58Well.
33:18Oh, come on.
33:19Come on.
33:20Can't you go faster?
33:21I don't trust that Wilbur none.
33:23I'm sure he won't wait and we won't get that everything.
33:25You know, for a road that peters out, it sure had plenty of traffic.
33:32Boss, this Wilbur.
33:34Them beeps getting sound like the bell on my typewriter.
33:36What you want me to do?
33:37Don't do anything, you dipstick.
33:39Till me and the other dipstick catch up with you.
33:42Yeah?
33:43Oh, thanks, boss.
34:08Oh, that was hard work.
34:10I think I'll go over there under that tree and lay down for a couple hours.
34:14Go to sleep.
34:16I wish I was asleep and this is just a bad dream.
34:18Here.
34:19Let's cut them off down there.
34:20That way they won't see the pickup.
34:21Come on.
34:29All right.
34:29Not so fast, boys.
34:31I'm afraid I'm going to have to run you all in.
34:32Wilbur, slap the cuffs on them.
34:33Well, how?
34:34The only thing I know how to work is to offer us a pencil sharpener.
34:37Wilbur, you are a waste of space.
34:39Well, well, well, well.
34:41Hey, looky over there.
34:43What you boys been doing?
34:45A little moonshining?
34:47Well, I just don't know how to thank you enough for delivering yourselves and all that there evidence right into
34:54our hands.
34:55Looks like he's got us for sure this time, cousin.
34:57Well, just because our luck ran out don't mean we still can't help Miss Lucinda.
35:00All right, boss.
35:01You got your shine.
35:02Now, how about handing over the other half of them bills?
35:05Hand over?
35:07Entrusting good money to the criminal element?
35:09Bull's breath.
35:10I ain't going that crazy yet.
35:12All right.
35:12Have it your own way.
35:14But if we can't have this half of the money, you ain't going to get yours either.
35:19See, that way you won't be able to cash your half.
35:23You can't do that.
35:23Hey, wait, wait, wait.
35:24Well, that's over 5,000 simoleons.
35:26Here, here, wait a minute.
35:27Wait a minute.
35:28Here, here, here.
35:29Take it.
35:29Take it.
35:30Burning money is against my religion.
35:34Don't you boys worry.
35:35You ain't getting away with nothing.
35:36No, sir.
35:37I'm going to have the judge, namely me, fine you $5,000 before he sends you back to the pen.
35:51Reckon this here is a case of a moving force meeting an irresistible object.
35:55I'm betting on the truck, unless boss has had dinner.
36:10Boss, you all right?
36:11All right.
36:12All right.
36:12I'm going to be all right with 200 pounds of Duke crushing my gizzard.
36:16I'm sorry, boss.
36:17You're just trying to help.
36:18Help, huh?
36:19Cousin boss, I wouldn't be talking like that if that was you.
36:22Yeah, if it weren't for Luke, you'd be knocking on them pearly gates right now.
36:26Yeah, well, he only did it hoping I'd drop all the charges, but I got too much evidence.
36:31The evidence!
36:33Why, we're joined here.
36:34That China's getting away from us for better than 50 miles an hour.
36:36Do something.
36:37Do something.
36:39Your car is over there.
36:40Will you get going?
36:41By the time them two get finished dancing, that pickup's going to be out of the county.
36:44Let's go.
36:45All right.
36:45Hop out, Alex.
36:46We're going to have to borrow your wheels.
36:48Stay right where you are, Alex.
36:50I ain't about to furnish these boys with a giddowee.
36:52Oh, come on, boss.
36:53All we got to do is get Uncle Jesse's pickup truck back.
36:55Yeah, all you want to get back is that sign.
36:58Only it ain't going to work.
36:59Nobody's getting that grubby hands on that evidence except me.
37:09There's none again!
37:17Wilbur, you lug nut.
37:19Where'd you learn to drive?
37:20Correspondent school?
37:22Well, what are you waiting for?
37:23Until your butt grows roots?
37:24Go on after him!
37:35That's the greatest.
37:36Boss and Cleetis off chasing the evidence, and Wilbur's car is out of commission, and we stand here.
37:48Hey, fellas!
37:49You want a lift, or you got to hang out here all day?
37:51Call it heads.
37:52Hey!
37:53Hey!
37:54All right, let's go.
38:12Wake up, wake up!
38:13Look out for the motorcycle up there!
38:19Oh, I sure hope they both know where they're going so they can meet when they get there.
38:29Uncle Jesse, come in, please.
38:31Look out, girls.
38:32Uncle Jesse, Miss Lucinda, boy, I sure hope one of you's there.
38:36Oh, this is Shepard.
38:38Anything wrong, Daisy?
38:39Oh, Uncle Jesse, everything's wrong.
38:41Somebody just hijacked our pickup.
38:42Yeah, we're headed south now, and the old country road's following them.
38:46Hey, do you think you can head them off with the chief?
38:48Well, I can bust my britches trying.
38:50I'm gone.
38:51Ten for Uncle Jesse.
38:52All righty.
38:53You stay here.
38:54That's my shine they hijacked, and I'm not about to let you or the boys pull my chestnuts out of
38:59the fire.
38:59Let's go!
39:00We're headstrong even on the old days, like I said.
39:03Let's go.
39:04Looks like all the Duke boys handled women and cars the same way.
39:28Now, friends, you talk about two old boys having a streak of bad luck.
39:31First, if they knew how bad that moonshine was, they wouldn't be stealing it.
39:36And second, stealing from Boss Hogg and Hazard is like visiting hell and spitting on the devil.
39:59Cleaner, this is J.D. Hall.
40:00Listen, any sign of that pickup yet?
40:03Not yet, Cousin Boss.
40:04Don't you worry, none.
40:05Hasn't been a hijacker born, they can get away from me yet.
40:11What do you mean they can't get away from you?
40:13They just did.
40:15You're in a van.
40:16You luck nut.
40:22You hear that?
40:23Boss says they're in a van now.
40:25Look, look out.
40:33Back her down the road, cousin.
40:34Another few minutes, we'll lose her.
40:36In that case, I ain't got time to back her down.
40:38Hang on, Daisy.
40:51Come on, come on, shake a lead.
40:53Or them dukes will beat us to the evidence.
40:56Well, I'm a-shakin'.
41:05Uncle Jesse, I don't know what happened to your pickup, but we're following the blue van with the crooks in
41:10it, and we're heading north.
41:11I think you might be able to pick them up on Cherokee Crossing.
41:14I can do it if I quit listening to you and start driving.
41:17I'm gone.
41:20Now you know who taught Bo and Luke to drive the way they do.
41:23See, I told you, you should have stayed back at the farm.
41:26Oh, I admit all the puns.
41:28I haven't seen driving like this since we was all running shy.
41:39We're never shakin' dudes in this bucket of bolts.
41:42Try slowing them down.
41:44Throw some in front of them.
41:45All we got back there is that shy.
41:47Well, use it.
41:49It'll still be cheaper to spend it ten years in pen if we get caught.
41:57Look, watch out!
42:01Well, that was close.
42:04Well, look at that.
42:05That's all right over there.
42:07I'm feeling Peter's gonna hit it.
42:09Am I closer?
42:12Oh!
42:14Get another one going.
42:29We better get out of here before we get that van right in our lock.
42:54Hey, Blaine!
42:56What's that?
42:58You all right?
42:59What?
43:07I got the one on the right.
43:09Get the big one.
43:09Yeah!
43:20Come on!
43:21Oh, whoa!
43:22Ain't you gonna help us?
43:23They'd never forgive me.
43:25Don't you worry, none.
43:26Them boys of mine are pretty good scrappers.
43:37I reckon they'd take after their uncle when he was their age.
43:44Greed us!
43:45Greed us!
43:46What?
43:46You arrest them moonshine and dukes.
43:48Well, I can't forsake what's left of everything.
43:51Gotcha!
43:56Hey, boys!
43:57There's one barrel left!
43:59We'd better beat boss to it.
44:02Oh, no!
44:06My shine!
44:08All my evidence!
44:09In smithereens!
44:12Cleared us!
44:14Cleared us!
44:16These arrows will go through the outhouse.
44:18I ought to go through the barrel.
44:19All right, you hit them from the left, I'll get them from the right.
44:21Right.
44:22Look at that!
44:24All my evidence seeping away in a hundred directions.
44:28Except that one barrel full.
44:30Oh!
44:31Hallelujah!
44:33Come on!
44:34Come on!
44:34Come on!
44:34Cleared us!
44:35Oh!
44:35Hey!
44:36Oh, no!
44:37Don't look what they're doing!
44:38Better than target practice, ain't it, Luke?
44:40Oh, looky!
44:41Look at that!
44:42Them arrows are making all the shine seep out!
44:45Quick, quick!
44:45Plug up them holes, take out the arrows!
44:47All right!
44:49Here, I got my suits!
44:51I got these two, and I'll keep it plugged!
44:55What about these other two arrows?
44:57Oh!
44:59Come over here and help me, will you?
45:01Come over here, will you?
45:03Oh!
45:03Don't do that!
45:04You left the other two!
45:06I know, I got one!
45:06You left these other two on this side!
45:08There's more of them over here!
45:10What are you doing over there?
45:11I can't wait for them!
45:13Oh, come on!
45:13Come on!
45:14Stop them up!
45:14When you get over there, it's what you do!
45:16Oh!
45:17Play low!
45:18Oh!
45:19Ah!
45:20Ah!
45:21Oh!
45:22I guess that takes care of all the evidence.
45:24Yeah, we're sorry about the shine, Mrs.
45:26Oh, that's all right, boys.
45:28It ain't often I get a chance to treat an old friend like J.D. Hogg
45:31with a $5,400 shower.
45:48There wasn't even a drop of shine left for old boss to drown his sorrows, which probably
45:53saved him from being poisoned.
45:56Seeing as how Emery made the arrest, he was in line for a nice reward, since he wasn't a regular
46:02deputy.
46:03Lucinda could have some fun facing the money together, which sure beats doing the crossword puzzle.
46:08Goodbye, Daddy. Bye. It was wonderful.
46:11Good pleasure, ma'am. Good pleasure.
46:21You know, friends, kissing is like riding a bicycle.
46:24You never forget how, even in Hazard County.
46:35You never forget how, even in Hazard County.
46:36You never forget how, even in Hazard County.
46:52You never forget how, even in Hazard County.
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