- 3 days ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Just a normal everyday happening in Hazard County, T.C.
00:03Next, it's election time in Hazard County, and the Dukes rise to the occasion.
00:07I've decided to run against Boss Hogg for supervisory administrator of Hazard County.
00:12Who?
00:13Thelma Clare Rogers.
00:15Another blow for equal rights.
00:20All right, you Dukes, I'm just...
00:23You can't kill your man's goodbye.
00:30Just a good old boy, never meaning no harm.
00:42Beats all you've never saw, been in trouble with the law since the day they was born.
00:49Straightening the curves, flattening the hills.
00:56Someday the mountain might get them, but the law never will.
01:00Making their way, the only way they know how.
01:09That's just a little bit more than the law will allow.
01:14Just a good old boy, wouldn't change if they could.
01:21Fighting the system like a two modern day Robin Hood.
01:25She does all right, though.
01:36Now, I know what you're thinking.
01:38It ain't natural to see General Lee losing a race like this to Cousin Daisy.
01:42For the last time Boa Luke beat Daisy into town, she put starch in their undershorts.
01:47And it gave them a little something to think about.
01:50You lose, boys.
01:52Another blow for equal rights.
01:55I'll tell you, next time my pride's gonna come before my shorts.
02:00Bye-bye.
02:01Okay.
02:01In most big cities, the airport is an exciting place.
02:06But in Hazard County, the bus station can provide about as much excitement as anybody it wants.
02:11Hmm.
02:12You get my drift?
02:13I think I'm in love.
02:20Well, I saw her first.
02:21She ain't your type.
02:22She sure is.
02:28Howdy.
02:29Excuse me and my cousin here, ma'am, but we're conducting a survey on whether women prefer little boys with blonde hair or men with dark hair.
02:36I prefer men who are bald.
02:38Well, that ain't no problem at all.
02:40See, I got a razor right in the car.
02:41I'll get it.
02:41All right, I got you this time, you Duke boys.
02:45Section 5-1, violating the fire hydrants.
02:48Coo-coo-coo-coo.
02:50Wait a minute.
02:51Duke boys?
02:52Ma'am.
02:53Don't you remember me?
02:54T.C. Rogers.
02:56Velma, Claire, Roger.
02:57You're Jim Rogers.
02:59What happened to your buck teeth and your bone legs?
03:01Well, I lost him in college.
03:03There we are.
03:04That's gonna cost you boys at least $20.
03:06Coo-coo-coo.
03:07I love it.
03:08I love it.
03:10Roscoe.
03:11Ain't you ever gonna learn that Luke and me ain't out-of-towners?
03:15I believe this belongs to you.
03:17Thanks, Roscoe.
03:22Well, how long are you home for, Phil McClare?
03:25Well, um, that kind of depends on if I win or lose.
03:30If you win or lose what?
03:31The election.
03:32I've decided to run against Boss Hogg for supervisory administrator of Hazard County.
03:38Judas Priest on a pony.
03:40The administrator...
03:42Well, you got your work cut out for you if you run against him.
03:46He wrote the dirty campaign cookbook.
03:48You think I don't know it?
03:50He beat my daddy out of the same job 15 years ago by stealing the pencils out of the voting booths.
03:55But not this time.
03:56You know, I kind of like your, uh, your spunk.
04:00Well, I'll tell you what.
04:01If you need a campaign manager, you got one right here.
04:05Seeing as how you run against Boss Hogg, you probably need a couple of campaign managers.
04:09Why don't we just discuss strategy over a tall, cool...
04:12Excuse us, Bo.
04:13Excuse you, Luke.
04:14No, no, no, no.
04:14I really don't have time for that.
04:15You see, I've got to get settled in and get over to the courthouse to follow the candidate before 6 o'clock.
04:20Well, then, uh...
04:21What are we waiting for?
04:24Get it.
04:26Revenge!
04:27Revenge!
04:29Revenge, Rosco.
04:31Yes.
04:32Revenge.
04:33That girl wants revenge.
04:34Yes, she wants it.
04:35For her daddy.
04:37Old man Rogers.
04:38Whom I beat 15 years ago.
04:41Unfair and unsquare.
04:42Well, so the sore head says.
04:45Well, Boss, I don't know what you're going to worry about because you've done one the last two times out.
04:49That's because nobody was running against me.
04:51I was going to...
04:52Yeah, you can have that one.
04:54Oh, thank you.
04:55Well, listen, let me ask you something.
04:57Exactly what does a supervisory administrator do?
05:00A whole lot of itty-bitty nitpicking things I'll never bother to look up.
05:03Because it only takes an itty-bitty amount of House of County tax money to run that office.
05:08Still, we don't want to lose our share of even itty-bitty tax money.
05:11Now, do we?
05:12Oh, shoot, no.
05:14Now, Boss, how come you never gave me any of that little itty-bitty tax money?
05:18Because after taxing your share of the itty-bitty, there just wasn't nothing left.
05:25Roscoe, somehow, I've got to stop that Rogers girl from running against me.
05:30How are you going to do that, Boss?
05:31Once she files as a candidate, I mean, she can run.
05:34That's the law.
05:34You know, in that dark tunnel of your head you call a brain, there's a flickering nightlight.
05:40File!
05:42Of course!
05:42If she can't file, she can't run.
05:46But how are you going to keep her from filing over there with Emory Potter over at the courthouse?
05:50Oh, the nightlight just went out.
05:52We get rid of Emory Potter before six o'clock tonight when filing time is over.
05:58Oh, thanks a great...
05:59Come on!
05:59Let's go find them!
06:03Now, this may look like the town square to most people,
06:06but for County Red Star Emory Potter and Mabel Wooster,
06:10it's been a lunchtime meeting place for the past 12 years of their engagement.
06:14Emory, Emory, honey, when are you and me going to set a date to get married?
06:18Oh, Mabel, how many years do I have to keep telling you?
06:23Honey, just as soon as I can afford to support and feed you in the manner in which you are accustomed.
06:30Emory, that moment has arrived.
06:34Mr. Hogs, sir, what brings you here?
06:37Conscience, my boy, conscience.
06:39I haven't slept a wink since I realized that I'm the one to blame
06:44for keeping you and Mabel here from the altar of matrimony.
06:48Ain't that right, Roscoe?
06:49Right. You can tell by his beady little red eyes.
06:52He hadn't slept in a week.
06:54And so, Emory, I'm going to raise your salary
06:59in an amount to be predetermined by cross-dividing the cost-of-living index
07:04by your net capital gains.
07:07Plus, I'm giving you this cash bonus as a wedding gift.
07:13So now you just get this adorable little thing here to a preacher
07:17and let me get some sleep.
07:20Oh, Emory, Emory, the day has finally come!
07:24No, no, no, no, hold on here.
07:27Plus, I hope that you both will accept the use of my summer cottage
07:31down at Lake Chickamahony for your honeymoon.
07:34Available now!
07:36It's a very romantic place to consummate your nuptues.
07:41Consummate? Oh, Emory!
07:44But I can't...
07:45Mr. Hogg, sir, I can't.
07:48I can't get away right now.
07:50I got my job as county registrar to do.
07:52Oh, nonsense, my boy, nonsense.
07:54I'll have Deputy Enna Strait substitute for you
07:57while you're doing your consummating.
08:00Oh, Emory, please, please, please, please!
08:03Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma!
08:04Ha-ha!
08:05Look here, Emory, if you two leave for Lake Chickamahony right this instant,
08:10I'll pay for your nuptues, too!
08:13Ha, darn, that's good enough for me!
08:15Oh, boy, Emory, we're gonna be married!
08:19Oh, Lake Chickamahony, here we come!
08:22You know, boss, I'm getting rid of the county registrar.
08:31That's a new high and lows for you!
08:32Yes!
08:33Yes, sir.
08:45Hey, ma'am.
08:46Hey, Bo.
08:47Hi, Luke.
08:48Hey.
08:48What can I do for y'all?
08:49Well, I'm here to file as a candidate for the Office of Supervisory Administrative of Hazard County.
08:54The name is Rogers Thelma Clare Rogers.
08:56Against Mr. Hall?
08:58Well, I'll be.
08:59Yeah, how about that?
09:00Why don't you just ask Emory to come on out here so he can muddle through that paperwork?
09:03Yeah.
09:04Well, Emory ain't here, Luke.
09:05He's getting married today and Chickamahony.
09:07Hallelujah, maybe Woosier gonna nail him proper after 12 years.
09:11You're kidding.
09:11All right.
09:12Well, in his absence, why don't I file my application with you?
09:15Well, I can let you have an application, ma'am.
09:18But I ain't got the authority to sign it.
09:21Oh, you mean he can't run for office unless Emory signs this dang piece of paper all by himself?
09:25Oh, you should lose, but that's a old son of like Emory.
09:27Did you talk to him at all?
09:29I mean, did he say why he was getting married in Chickamahony instead of right here in Hazard?
09:33I've never seen him, Luke.
09:34All I heard was the sheriff talking to Mr. Hall about them honeymaners in Mr. Hall's cottage on the lake.
09:39From chapel to the cottage with no lost motion.
09:43Boss Hall, now don't that figure.
09:45We better get moving.
09:46We better go grind some gears.
09:48Wait a minute.
09:50Bye, y'all.
09:50Would one of you Duke boys kindly tell me where we're going now?
09:54You and me and Bo better get over to Chickamahony with that application and get it signed.
09:58Let's do it.
09:59How about, buddy?
09:59See you on, buddy.
10:00How about you?
10:01Buddy.
10:02Yeah.
10:06So the boys cooked hell for leather getting to Chickamahony.
10:09And Roscoe burnt the same hell for leather getting over to Boss with the news.
10:13You know, I can't afford to lose this election.
10:15And I'm talking about the financial loss.
10:18Itty bitty or no.
10:21I just gotta look me up.
10:23All that nitpicking duty is a supervisory administrator.
10:26Oh, that's a good idea.
10:28Got him here someplace.
10:30That's old.
10:31Here we are.
10:32What'd I tell you?
10:34Look at that.
10:35County air pollution controller means money.
10:37County sanitation advisor, money.
10:39Money.
10:40County earthquake consultant, county cemetery coordinator,
10:42county probation officer, all mean money.
10:45All money.
10:47Did I say county probation officer?
10:49Yeah, you said.
10:50Shut up, I did.
10:52And I never knew it.
10:53It's probably because it doesn't pay no money.
10:56Probably because it doesn't pay no money.
10:58Roscoe, this is it.
11:00This is how I'm gonna take care of them Duke boys.
11:03Oh, that's great.
11:04Aside from their regular probation officer,
11:06they should have been reporting to their Hazard County probation officer.
11:11Namely you.
11:12Namely me.
11:13But they forgot.
11:14But they forgot.
11:16Now, most everybody in Hazard County
11:18loves getting married in the rustic setting of Chickamahony.
11:22Now, that includes the reluctance and the eager.
11:27Ready?
11:28To unite these here two people
11:31in the holy bonds of matrimony.
11:34Wait for me, guys.
11:36Here you go.
11:36Come on, we gotta hurry, y'all.
11:42Now, now, now.
11:44You people will all just have to wait your turn.
11:46I've got a christenin' and three more weddings following this.
11:50To be followed by a...
11:51Excuse us, preacher.
11:53Mabel, Lord.
11:54We just need Emory here for just a second.
11:56It's urgent business.
11:57What can I do for you?
11:58Well, it won't take but a second.
12:00This here lady's Thelma Clare Rogers.
12:02Yeah, she's running against Boss Hogg
12:03as supervising administrator at Hazard County.
12:05Right, and you being registrar and all,
12:07I need your signature on this piece of paper
12:09to make me eligible to run.
12:10Oh, well, that ain't no problem.
12:12What the problem is, is
12:27my signature on that thing ain't legal in binding
12:30without the great seal of Hazard County stamped on it.
12:33And where's that?
12:34Back in Hazard.
12:35Look, could we please get on with the ceremony here?
12:38I'm sorry, Mabel.
12:39We're gonna have to take Emory back to Hazard with us
12:41by six o'clock.
12:41That's registration.
12:42Now listen, Mabel, we promised to get him right back.
12:44My schedule's very tight.
12:46And if it ain't now,
12:47I can't marry you two or four Thursday late afternoon.
12:52Please, Mr. Potter, it's almost time for my deadline.
12:55Yeah, sorry, Mabel.
12:56Huh?
12:57But it's my sworn duty.
12:58Oh, Emory.
13:00Listen, you put us down for Thursday noon
13:02because we are gonna be back.
13:04Thanks, Mabel.
13:05Come on, Emory.
13:05Come on, Emory.
13:05Come on.
13:06Thanks, Mabel.
13:06Emory.
13:07Emory, now you wait for me, honey.
13:09Come on, sweetheart.
13:11Emory, wait.
13:12Get her?
13:17Okay, hit it.
13:18I'm ready.
13:19Those boys, they're outlocked maniacs.
13:38Hang on.
13:41Now, the time between Chicken Mahoney and Hazard is 21 minutes as the crow flies.
14:00You all right, Emory?
14:05Well, ain't nobody knows how long it takes as the General Lee flies.
14:09A new Hazard open road time of 16 minutes, 32 seconds, and counting down to 6 o'clock.
14:15Come on, Emory.
14:17I don't want to have to tangle with me.
14:18Let's go.
14:19Come on.
14:19T.C.
14:22The county seal.
14:23Quick.
14:24T.C.
14:24You are now officially a candidate for the Supervisory Administrator of Hazard County.
14:39And a candidate couldn't ask for two better campaign managers.
14:44Bye.
14:44Bye.
14:45Well, it's going to be hard to campaign in a little tiny jail cell, isn't it?
14:50Well, because I'm arresting you for violating your probation.
14:54All right.
14:55Hands up.
14:56I swear old Roscoe would rate an orphanage Christmas party.
15:05Now, Roscoe, the last we heard, our probation officer had been transferred.
15:08We has never signed a new one.
15:10That's right.
15:10How come he never told us it was boss?
15:13He'll get you ten.
15:14He never knew it himself.
15:15Hush.
15:15Now, Sheriff, don't you think under this circumstance that these two boys could be released under their own recognizance?
15:21Well, they recognize each other, ma'am.
15:23They've been cousins for years.
15:24All right.
15:26Let's move out.
15:26Move out.
15:27We ain't going nowhere.
15:28Do you read us our rights first?
15:30Bo, I've read those rights to you a hundred times.
15:32I'm sick of reading those rights to you.
15:35Don't you threaten me.
15:37All right.
15:38Oh, yeah.
15:40Okay.
15:40Now.
15:42All right.
15:43Tell Uncle Jesse's still site four.
15:46Freeze.
15:47Freeze.
15:48Freeze.
15:48Freeze.
15:50What?
15:50Oh, my God.
15:54Get out.
15:55Hit it, Captain.
15:56You got it.
16:05You, you dumb dipstick.
16:08You're obstructing justice.
16:10Freeze.
16:11Just.
16:12Oh, my God.
16:13Get it.
16:14Get it.
16:15Get it.
16:16Get it.
16:16Get it.
16:16Get it.
16:17Get it.
16:18Enos, this is your rock and gold sweet gold train.
16:26You got your ears on?
16:27Come on.
16:29Hi, dear.
16:30Enos, you got your ears on?
16:32Come on.
16:34I'm right here, Sheriff.
16:36This night's going over to Busy Bee Cafe for lunch.
16:39You want me to bring you a corn dog?
16:40Enos, I'm going to corn your dog, you turnip.
16:43The Duke boys had just escaped on 104.
16:45Now, I want you to go down to Harvey Mill Crossing and hit them all.
16:49You got that?
16:49Yes, sir.
16:50Yes, sir.
16:51I'm gone.
17:15Got it blocked up ahead for you, Sheriff.
17:35Here we go, Sheriff.
17:50Dang.
17:51Well, come for us, go.
18:23All right.
18:25Now you got a hand at the Roscoe.
18:26At least he's predictable.
18:27Yeah, well, let's go see Uncle Jesse, all right?
18:29You got it.
18:33Sheriff, you want me to keep looking for me or you want to go eat?
18:36No, Enos, just forget it.
18:37You hear?
18:38Just forget it.
18:39Yes, sir.
18:40This here's Enos.
18:42Forgetting it.
18:43Over and out.
18:44You boys knew when you got your probation that you were supposed to report to your Hazard County probation officer every once in a while.
18:51Now, isn't that true?
18:53Yes, sir, we did.
18:54Well, then why didn't you?
18:55Well, because they never told us who the dang guy was.
18:57Watch your language.
18:59Yes, sir.
19:00Well, I guess you know who it is now.
19:02Yeah, when it comes to nailing us, Boss is getting to be a master at splitting hair.
19:06You know, maybe I shouldn't run against Boss.
19:09That's exactly what he wants you to think.
19:12I even tried to buy some time at WHOGG.
19:16Boss Hogg's radio station?
19:18I know.
19:18Needless to say, he refused me equal time till the day after the elections.
19:22You know, it just doesn't pay to fight the system sometimes.
19:25Oh, it pays, young lady.
19:28Indeed it does.
19:30Why, I've been fighting the system all of my life.
19:34Now it's time for you young'uns to take over and fight it.
19:38Why, if you don't love something enough to keep it healthy and honest and clean, well, then it's time to give up and move on.
19:46You see that there?
19:48That there is good Hazard County dirt, and we love it.
19:52And that's why we fight the system.
19:54And your daddy loved it.
19:55And that's why he fought.
19:57And if you love it, then you gotta fight.
20:00I got an idea.
20:03Just meet me and Bo over at Cooter's Garage in an hour.
20:06Christmas is coming early to Hazard County this year.
20:09Good job, cousin.
20:10And yes.
20:15All right, put it up right there.
20:17Okay.
20:21Ross, throw your hammer like you run your office.
20:24You always miss it.
20:24Now them Duke boys are missing.
20:28I want them in jail, you hear?
20:30Not out there helping that female run against me.
20:33Listen, don't you worry about it, boss.
20:35I'm gonna catch them Dukes.
20:36I'm gonna nail them.
20:37You better.
20:37I'll nail you to that tree.
20:40And I won't miss.
20:46Little fat.
20:48Ooh.
20:49Grab her.
20:49I'll just...
20:50Hey, Cooter.
21:07Cooter, come here.
21:08Come here.
21:09We gotta talk to you.
21:11What's up?
21:13You know there's election coming up, don't you?
21:15Uh-uh.
21:16Well, now you do.
21:17Yeah, and you know that that means that Boss Hogg's gonna be in this courtyard
21:19giving that same old dull speech.
21:21Hey, you remember Thelma Clear Rogers?
21:23Uh-huh.
21:24Well, she growed up and she's running again him.
21:26All right.
21:27So we figure she got the same right to express herself as he does.
21:30Right on.
21:30That's right.
21:31We also figure since you got all the equipment that we need...
21:33You got it.
21:34All right.
21:35But the main thing Cooter had that they needed
21:37was a flat-out, purity-old, country-shade-tree genius.
21:41The thing's mechanical.
21:44That's right, sis.
21:45Now, the next thing I got in mind,
21:47works on the CBC.
21:48That old boy's nearly as laid-back as Willie What's-His-Name.
21:57Woo-hoo!
21:59That's the sound of genius.
22:01Ladies and gentlemen and voters of Hazard County.
22:05Uh, if you all want to,
22:06you can just come down here a little bit closer if you want to.
22:09You want to come on down here?
22:10I don't think they hear me.
22:12Well, they would have used the mic.
22:14Ooh, ooh.
22:15Yeah, yeah, I'll just...
22:16Hmm.
22:18Testing.
22:19One, two, three.
22:20It's working.
22:21Uh, citizens of Hazard County,
22:23uh, I guess you all know me.
22:25I'm Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane,
22:27and you also know what I stand for.
22:30I want to just...
22:31Hold it, hold it, don't, don't.
22:33Don't lose me, folks.
22:34Just introduce me.
22:36Ladies and gentlemen,
22:37with no further ado...
22:39That's French.
22:40Uh, I...
22:41I want to introduce the present and the future
22:46as Supervisory Administrator,
22:49the Honorable Jefferson Davis Hogue.
22:52Thank you, thank you, thank you.
23:01My fellow citizens of Hazard County,
23:05you all know me well.
23:08Just a second.
23:11Right about...
23:13All right, let's do it.
23:14Come on.
23:14Urges you to exercise
23:19your God-given right to vote
23:22and to vote for...
23:26Thelma Clare Rogers.
23:28That's right, folks.
23:29Vote for Thelma Clare Rogers.
23:31If you want honesty in local government,
23:33vote for Thelma Clare Rogers.
23:36Yep, my friends, my friends,
23:37just be no mind to that upstart female.
23:40Vote for Thelma Clare Rogers.
23:41Don't pay no attention to her.
23:42A vote for Thelma Clare Rogers
23:44will return the Office of Supervisory Administrator
23:48once again
23:48into a position
23:50of integrity and trust.
23:52Pay no mind
23:53at that upstart female over there.
23:55No, pay attention.
23:57Hush out there, hush.
23:58The Office of Supervisory Administrator
23:59once again...
23:59Pass your pie,
24:00then you boys are back.
24:01Go get them.
24:02Go, we'll need you...
24:03But just don't stand there.
24:04Go.
24:05I'm going.
24:06Hush up, hush.
24:09Please.
24:09Uh...
24:10Oh, they're just...
24:12They did it this time.
24:13This time they go and keep part.
24:15I just want to see
24:16that my only wish
24:18is to serve you all
24:20so that I can...
24:23Particulate your taxes
24:25into a private fund
24:27that serves no purpose
24:29other than to fill his bad pocket.
24:32Hush!
24:33Hush!
24:33Hush!
24:33Hush!
24:34Hush, my fellow citizen!
24:36Hush!
24:36Hush!
24:37And I urge you
24:38to vote for me
24:39to change the law
24:41and I will be eternally grateful to you
24:44and from the bottom of my heart
24:47Hush!
24:48Hush!
24:48Hush!
24:48Hush!
24:49Hush!
24:49Hush!
24:50Hush!
24:50Hush!
24:51Hush!
24:51Hush!
24:52Hush!
24:52Hush!
24:53Hush!
24:54Hush!
24:55Hush!
24:56Hush!
24:57Hush!
24:58Hush!
24:59Hush!
25:00Hush!
25:01Hush!
25:02Hush!
25:06I ain't bad for a day's work.
25:35Let's get out of here.
25:37Enos, this is your commanding officer and leader, Roscoe B. Coltrane, calling you.
25:42Listen, the Duke boys are heading out 122, and I'm hot on their tail.
25:46Now, I want you to circle around Prescott.
25:49That's Prescott by Prescott, the crossroads.
25:53Now, circle around there and head them off.
25:55You know where I mean.
26:05Enos, will you get out of my way, roll it over there, so I can get by.
26:20Listen, your mouth is scuffing my car now.
26:24I'm serious now.
26:25Just hold it.
26:28Enos, please.
26:30You're not telling no dick.
26:31He's turning.
26:32He's turning.
26:32Enos, now you've done messed up.
26:38Will you let me get in front?
26:39I'm your leader.
26:42Enos, what are you doing?
26:53Enos, this is your superior officer talking.
26:55Now, you just pull over and let me pass.
27:00Enos, can't you hear me?
27:03I swear I'm going to get Dr. Pettibone to clean your ears out.
27:06You're doing it.
27:07Look, you're making me say shit here.
27:09Will you just get out of the way now?
27:11I am here so very often.
27:13There's this.
27:14Get out of the way.
27:15Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
27:23Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
27:53Did you see that, Sheriff?
27:58No, Enos, I didn't see it.
27:59I was driving with my eyes closed and sneaking a snooze, you dipstick.
28:04You all right, Baker?
28:05Fine.
28:06Let him try that.
28:08That did it.
28:09Now remember, T.C. still ain't won the election.
28:12The Dukes are going to have to build a fire under a lot more folks to win it.
28:17So the next day, Luke put the second part of his campaign plan to work.
28:21Well, that ought about to do it.
28:23Now what?
28:25Back towards town.
28:26What about Roscoe?
28:27I said towards town, not to town.
28:30I'll figure anywhere within about a 10-mile radius ought to do it.
28:33I don't understand this.
28:35Well, Cooter hooked up our CB so it'd be on the same radio frequency as a radio station in town.
28:39So all you got to do is talk into that microphone.
28:41You'll be broadcast all over Hazard County.
28:43There you go.
28:45I can't do this, fellas.
28:46You see, it's against FCC regulations.
28:48I would be breaking the law.
28:49Now, Boss already broke the law by refusing you equal time, didn't he?
28:52That's right.
28:53Now, would you please get in the car?
28:56There you go.
28:57Ready?
28:58And now, ladies and gentlemen, direct from his office in the City Hall, your next Supervisory Administrator, the Honorable Jefferson Davis Hall.
29:12And my fellow citizens of Hazard County, I'm calling upon you all to vote in the coming election for a hard-working, honorable man who's earned your trust.
29:30Namely, me.
29:33Modest, ain't he?
29:34Yeah, and I thought he made it on his good look.
29:38That takes it all, honey.
29:41And, friends, as most of you listening out there know, I just happen to hold most of the mortgages on your forms and property.
29:51Not to mention the notes on your bank loans.
29:54But, of course, now, I'm not the kind of man who would try to influence your vote.
29:59It's all yours, D.C.
30:00Do it, do it.
30:01But today, I will promise you one thing.
30:07Higher taxes, higher bank rates, and a secret set of books.
30:11This is Thelma Clare Rogers, folks.
30:13I'm not promising you the same pack of lies that Boss Hogg has been feeding you.
30:17What I am promising you is to see that your tax money is used for the purpose it was intended.
30:23That's for better schools, better roads, better social services.
30:28All the things that Boss Hogg has ignored in favor of lying in his own pocket.
30:32And, Boss Hogg, you're listening.
30:35I just want you to know that if I'm elected, I intend to...
30:38Get her off!
30:39Get her off!
30:40Get the whole station off!
30:42I own it!
30:43Get her off!
30:44Get her off!
30:45That's right, Boss Hogg.
30:46A complete federal audit of your books.
30:49I guess you're off the air.
30:51But I think you got in some pretty good shots anyway.
30:53On election day, all the polls in Hazard County are located in one place.
30:58The Boer's Nest.
30:59Next.
31:00Howdy.
31:01Oh, honey bun.
31:03Uh, here's your ballot.
31:04Now, you never mind my ballot, Emery Potter.
31:07You just remember your solemn promise as a registrar that you and me is getting married today right after the polls close.
31:13Yes, sugar, but you say...
31:14Biting nothing.
31:15Now, after I vote, I'm going to be waiting right over there with my bags packed.
31:18Mm-mm-mm!
31:23Well, it sure looks on the up-and-up.
31:26Yeah, I know.
31:27But elections in Hazard County don't always stay on the up-and-up.
31:30Yeah, I know what you mean.
31:32I'm worried about Bo and Luke.
31:34If I can't arrest them for violation of probation, then I think I'll scare them out of town.
31:39Scare them?
31:40Yeah.
31:40Roscoe, you proved you couldn't scare a crew.
31:42Now, you just let me handle the winning of this election my way.
31:46Plan A.
31:48Synchronize our watches.
31:49Oh, I like it.
31:50The time is exactly two minutes to six.
31:53I got two minutes till five.
31:55Oh, I said two minutes to six, Do-Do.
31:58Plan B depends on our closing the election one hour ahead of time.
32:04Got it?
32:05I got it.
32:05Meanwhile, the boys knew that Boss Hogg still had more tricks than Houdini's trunk.
32:14Howdy, Emmie.
32:15Hi, Beginis.
32:30Now, who do you dispose that is?
32:32Hey, Mr. Hogg.
32:39Hi, Sheriff.
32:39Hey, Enish.
32:40I'm fixing to vote.
32:41Oh, Enish.
32:42Think pig.
32:43Yes.
32:45Yes.
32:47Good.
32:51Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Wheeler, and this year is Mr. Peters.
32:54Howdy.
32:55Hi.
32:55We're the state election board and have been assigned to transport the ballot box to Hazard County Courthouse.
33:00So, you'll have 30 seconds before the polls close.
33:02Hey.
33:03This is ridiculous.
33:04We still have an hour.
33:05Yeah, it's not even five o'clock yet.
33:07Sorry, ladies.
33:08I have six o'clock.
33:09So do I.
33:10Ross Cooke, what does your watch see?
33:12Uh, well, Boss, I'm a little slow.
33:14We all know that.
33:15But what time is it?
33:16Oh.
33:17Uh, well, I got about six o'clock, and it'll give or take a few seconds either way.
33:21Uh, polls close, ladies and gentlemen.
33:23Uh, Mr. Peters, the ballot box.
33:25Now, wait a minute.
33:26Most people haven't even voted yet.
33:28Oh, ain't true, Daisy.
33:29I know most everybody in these here parts.
33:32And, well, as far as I can tell, they've all voted.
33:37The election's over.
33:38Yeah, hoody.
33:39And you and me got a date with a preacher and chickama honey.
33:42Grab them bags, Emery.
33:45Hi, Amy.
33:46Well, what with Emery gone looks like it's all over but the screaming.
33:51Gentlemen, you now can take the ballot box over to Hazard County Courthouse.
33:57Hey, you gotta take them all.
33:58Let's get it.
34:12Well, there ain't no doubt about it.
34:14Them two turkeys must get their watches from Boss for Christmas.
34:17I ain't sure what they're up to, but we ain't gonna find out by losing them.
34:20Come on, buddy.
34:20You're right.
34:46This ain't exactly the way back to the Hazard County Courthouse.
34:49Yeah, I'm kidding.
34:50We're being followed.
34:56Lose them.
35:00We spotted us.
35:07Let them think they lost us.
35:08Hang a turn the other way.
35:09It's okay now.
35:21You know where to go.
35:25Don't figure that was too hard, Bo.
35:27Well, they headed right back to the boar's nest.
35:28Yep.
35:33Them boys are really swerved, ain't they?
35:37Do you get the same bad feeling about these characters that I do?
35:41I sure do.
35:41Get your dummy ballots there in that left-hand drawer there.
35:56They're changing the ballots.
35:57Yeah, well, not if we don't let them.
35:59You ready?
36:00Yeah.
36:00Let's go.
36:07Better look out, Bo.
36:08I don't think he's fixing to use that stool to set on.
36:11Hey, boss man, we done it.
36:26We done it.
36:27Hey, boss man, we done it.
36:30We done it.
36:31Yeah.
36:32And you know, Roscoe, when the votes are counted, and I mean the votes are counted, I just got
36:39me the strange feeling that I'd get re-elected unanimously.
36:44Boss, I don't even think it's going to be that close.
36:48Have you ever considered readmission to the first grade?
36:51Mrs. Wheeler calling Boss Hogg.
36:55J.D. Hogg here.
36:57What's on you boys up?
36:58I thought you'd be here by now, over.
37:00We're chasing two good old boys down Highway 102.
37:03They just grabbed a ballot box and hightailed it out of your office.
37:06Did one of them have yellow hair the other dark, over?
37:10Yeah, they're the ones.
37:11Yeah, well, you get them and get that box.
37:14Right.
37:15That was Bo and Luke Duke.
37:17Well, of course it was Bo and Luke Duke.
37:18Now you go and follow them, get them arrested, and get me that ballot box back.
37:23I'm gone.
37:24Gee.
37:25Gosh.
37:26I ain't about to get myself whooped again for the small change that we've been paid.
37:30We done all we're going to do for Boss Hogg.
37:33Right.
37:33Let's cut.
37:34You better.
37:40Well, looks like we just lost them two flunkies of Boss, huh?
37:44Looks that way.
37:45Yeah.
37:48Listen, start counting because, well, we ain't got no time to explain because Roscoe's right behind us.
38:10We got to get thank you.
38:11Wait, wait, wait.
38:12Hold it.
38:13What?
38:14You haven't voted yet.
38:15All right, you dukes, I just...
38:31Just a normal everyday happening in Hazard County, T.C.
38:40Well, the dang car's flooded.
38:53What are we going to do now?
38:54Cooter!
38:54Nice morning.
39:07We're going to have to borrow your truck.
39:08Oh, sure.
39:09Yeah.
39:09Practice soon.
39:10We'll lose Roscoe.
39:10Okay.
39:11Yeah, you'll knock yourself out.
39:15Come on, Bull.
39:16Hey, do me a favor.
39:16I got it, Cooter.
39:17Put a couple of dollars worth of gas in there with you.
39:19You got it.
39:19That's a big 10-4, Cooter.
39:21Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
39:49Well, I'll be dang-dang.
39:51Well, Enos, what is it?
39:53How many did I win by?
39:55It's a tie, Mr. Hogg.
39:57A tie.
39:58A tie?
39:59Well, what the devil do I want with a tie?
40:02Well, J.D., it proves one thing.
40:04At least half of the people in this county ain't afraid to vote again yet.
40:09Yeah, that's right.
40:10But I wish just one more had felt that way.
40:12Well, according to this here ledger, there is one more vote that ain't accounted for.
40:16Who's that?
40:17Emmy Potter.
40:19Emory Potter.
40:20Emory Potter.
40:22Emory Potter forgot to vote.
40:26Hello out there.
40:27You boys out there somewhere, this is your Uncle Jesse.
40:30We're right here, Uncle Jesse.
40:31And I'm hot on their tail.
40:33I'm coming, I'm coming.
40:35How'd the vote go, Uncle Jesse?
40:36It was a tie.
40:37It was a tie.
40:38Emory Potter forgot to vote.
40:39Now, you boys remember where he's getting married, don't you?
40:43Yeah, he must be over at Chickama, honey.
40:45All right.
40:46Now, since the boss's watch was an hour fast, you got exactly 40 minutes to get Potter over
40:53here.
40:54And if he can vote, we might have ourselves a new supervisory administrator.
41:01There you go, J.D.
41:03Roscoe.
41:04Roscoe, if you can hear me, make sure you get to Emory first.
41:08And make sure that he knows who to vote for, or else you can kiss your badge goodbye.
41:16That, too.
41:18That's what I thought.
41:21That little fat white mushroom.
41:24Once again, we are gathered together here in the sight of the world.
41:54Hey, again.
41:59Emory, we got to take you back to Hazard again.
42:01Listen, the election's a tie, and you forgot to vote.
42:03You can't have him.
42:04Would you please consider inviting Leisure to offer your guest list?
42:08The election's a tie?
42:10And the polls close in 20 minutes.
42:12Listen, Emory, your vote makes you the most important man in Hazard County.
42:15It does?
42:16Yes, sir.
42:17It does, don't it?
42:18Emory, don't listen to him.
42:21Oh, come on, Emory.
42:22We ain't got much time.
42:24Emory, you can't leave me at the altar again.
42:27Huh?
42:28Now, sugar lumps, we can do this later.
42:30Right now, Hazard County needs my vote.
42:32My schedule simply will not tolerate another postponement.
42:36Preacher, may...
42:38All right.
42:40Sorry, Preacher.
42:51Let him speak up now or forever hold his peace.
42:55This boat, we only got six minutes left.
42:56Get after it!
42:57I know it, Luke.
42:58I don't think y'all can hold on.
43:01Luke, you heard what the Preacher said.
43:02Now hold your peace.
43:03Go on, Preacher.
43:04Do you, Emory Potter, take this here woman to be your lawful wedded wife?
43:14To love, honor, cherish, and obey until death do you part?
43:19Ah, me?
43:19Uh-huh.
43:21Yeah, I do.
43:22And do you, uh...
43:24Mabel Wooster.
43:26May the Lord give you a large family, many children, and...
43:30I now pronounce you man and wife.
43:34Emory!
43:35We got no time for that, Emory.
43:37Come on, Emory.
43:39What's good?
43:40Emory!
43:42Come on.
43:43I hear Emory.
43:44Come on, baby.
43:45Here he comes.
43:50Here he is.
43:51Give me the ballot.
43:51You got 30 seconds, Emory.
43:53Make your axe fast.
43:54Yeah.
43:55Now vote your conscience, Emory.
43:57Vote your job.
43:58You got 10 seconds, Emory.
44:11All right, you do for it.
44:14I got you.
44:15Five seconds, Emory.
44:17Do something.
44:19Here's my vote.
44:21Ah, look what that gives me.
44:23Well, what do you know?
44:26We got ourselves a new supervisor, Thelma Claire Rogers.
44:31All right!
44:33Congratulations, honey.
44:35Here I go.
44:36Just quit.
44:38Emory, you know the penalty for treason, don't you?
44:42I'll tell you.
44:43It means you can consummate your nook tools on the unemployment line.
44:48You are fired.
44:50No, no, no, no, Mr. Hogg.
44:52I'm afraid that the Office of County Registrar falls under my jurisdiction.
44:57And Emory stays.
45:00Well, that very well may be.
45:02But at least I'm going to arrest the Duke boys for violating their probation.
45:05Come on, come on.
45:06Get around.
45:07Mm-mm, mm-mm.
45:08As the boys' new probation officer,
45:11I will take full responsibility for them until their case is reviewed.
45:15You know something, J.D.?
45:19You might have won this election.
45:22Except for one thing.
45:23Rosco P. Coltrane forgot to vote.
45:28He what?
45:29It was just a little oversight there.
45:31Listen, I would vote, but...
45:33You forgot to vote, you cow chip!
45:35But I would be...
45:36Well, let's hear it for our new supervisor.
45:42Wait a minute.
45:47Let's hear it for my hero, Emory Potter.
45:54Mm-mm.
45:56Oh, and better luck next time, honey.
45:59Bye, Emory.
46:01Well, that's the hazard tale about the time that Boss Hogg lost an honest election
46:05and how Bo and Luke found out that T.C. wasn't about to celebrate with neither one of them.
46:10She's married.
46:11Well, she never did tell them that she wasn't, did she?
46:14Now, you'd have figured old Bo and Luke would have checked up on that.
46:18Looks like a simple case of being caught with her checkers down.
46:50Good job, you too.
47:07Good job, you too.
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