- 2 days ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Next on the Dukes.
00:03Does this don't mean that I ain't still gonna try to whip your tail in that race?
00:06You better try.
00:08It's Duke vs. Duke at J.D. Hogg's first annual Hazard County Derby.
00:12Not yet, you ninny!
00:15Hey, little fish! Here we go!
00:25Be a winner.
00:28Stay put now.
00:34Just a good old boy
00:38Never meanin' no harm
00:42Beats all you've never saw
00:43Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born
00:49Straightnin' the curves
00:52Plantin' the hills
00:56Someday the mountain might get em, but the law never will
01:01Makein' their way
01:04The only way they know how
01:08That's just a little bit more than the normal amount
01:13Just a good old boy
01:17Wouldn't change if they could
01:21Fightin' the system like a two modern-day Robin Hood
01:41The sight of Bo and Luke Duke rollin' across Hazard without the sheriff on their tail is just about as
01:46rare as a buck-toothed rooster
01:47What time you got, Luke?
01:49I got five minutes before the entry deadline
01:52Hey, I'd sure hate to miss out on something as high pollutin' as the first annual J.D. Hogg Hazard
01:57Derby
01:58Don't you mean the first annual J.D. Hogg Hazard shoo-in?
02:02Got it
02:02First prize is $1,000
02:04We'd take that home with us and be able to buy Uncle Jim a new motor for his tractor
02:07So they stretched out the general's limbs
02:09Since he's fixin' to have a workout
02:1410, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, and 100
02:1610, 20, 30, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90
02:19$200!
02:20Oh, there comes, boss
02:21All right, Bledis
02:22Just sign that entry form on the dotted line
02:25Right there on that dotted line
02:27Okay
02:27See that?
02:28All right, that'll do
02:29Next
02:30Here's my entry money, boss
02:32To great big Ben Franklin
02:33You know, he kinda favors you
02:35Yeah, you do
02:37All right
02:38Just sign that form on the dotted line
02:40Right there on the dotted line
02:45Uh, Flash
02:47Listen, don't be barkin' at the boss here
02:50He's on our side
02:51You're gonna bark
02:52Bark at them two
02:54He's got like 12 seconds of spare
02:56Congratulations
02:56All right, where's he sign, boss?
02:58All right
02:58You sign the entry form right here on the dotted line
03:01Yes, sir
03:02Assuming you can write your name
03:05Man, I hate to see y'all throw good money away like that
03:07What are you talking about, Cooter?
03:09General Lee's the fastest car in Hadzard County
03:10Everybody knows that
03:11Was the fastest car in the county
03:14Before I put an old Cale Yarborough engine in mine
03:17Yes, sir
03:18Y'all gonna be about the halfway point
03:19I'll be back here collecting my winnings
03:21This I gotta see
03:22Be my guest
03:23Come on, y'all, let's park right outside
03:29I done it, I done it
03:30You done it
03:32What did you do?
03:34I'll slick at them Duke boys real good
03:36Old Duke signed this here entry form
03:38And he never even noticed the fine print
03:41Well, I didn't see that myself
03:43It looks like just a little smudge on the bottom of the paper here
03:47You think so, huh? Use this
03:49Oh, that's a cute little thing here
03:52Let's see, it says here
03:54Ownership of any car that loses or withdraws will be forfeited to Mr. Jefferson Davis Hall
04:02Yeah
04:05I knew that you had a scheme in that chubby little head of yours
04:09That's the reason you sponsored the Derby, right?
04:12You just couldn't wait to get your grubby hands on those souped-up cars
04:16Including them Duke's orange croaker car
04:19The General Lee
04:20Yeah, the General Lee
04:22Without that General Lee
04:23Them Duke's is as helpless as Samson was after Delilah gave him that haircut
04:28What if they win?
04:30Only they ain't gonna win, Knucklehead
04:31On the corner
04:32You're gonna win
04:34Oh, I...
04:35I'm gonna win
04:37Yeah, you
04:37With my secret weapon
04:40With your secret weapon
04:42I love that
04:46Uh...
04:47Exactly which secret weapon is that?
04:49It's a secret
04:51How much did that thing set you back?
04:54Did you believe $3,000?
04:57Plus a couple hundred more for a few little extras I stuck on there
05:01I'll tell you, it's a risky business
05:03I had to run a second mortgage on the farm over at Boss Hog's bank
05:07Cooter, that's a whole heap of money
05:10Shoot, especially Boss Hog interest rates
05:11He ain't just whistling Dixie
05:13But I got a Grand Prix driver that's willing to pay $10,000 for it
05:17Providing I win the Hazard County Derby
05:20Which I intend to do
05:22Are you gonna explain that to the General?
05:23Oh, I intend to do that too
05:25Well, there's no time like the present
05:27We'll race you to the garage
05:28Loser pays for all the beer
05:29I tell you
05:30You are owned
05:33And you're gonna need yourself something to drink
05:36To wash down my dust
05:38Let's go!
05:39Woohoo!
05:40I didn't hear nothing about no racing
05:41Take shortcut, hear y'all?
05:43Yes, sir
05:44Y'all keep it between the ditches, okay?
05:52Y'all keep it between the ditches, okay?
06:13No
06:32Look, we're gonna head, look out!
06:41Aw, dang it!
06:44Woo-wee!
06:47They tore that up
06:49Ah, Swan, some people do just about anything to get out of a race they know they're losing
06:55Cooter, we're gonna make you eat them where as soon as you help us change this tire
06:58Wipe that smile off your face and go grab a jack, we need a hand here
07:02Oh!
07:08What happened?
07:09Oh, man!
07:11You all right?
07:12Oh!
07:12Oh, no, man, I busted up my foot pretty bad here
07:17Uh-uh
07:19Swelling up too, I can feel it
07:20Yeah, you better leave it on
07:22You better leave it on
07:23We better get you over to Doc Petticord right away
07:25Come on, boy
07:26Come on, boy, give me a hand
07:27Hey!
07:28Does it hurt?
07:28Watch out!
07:29Yeah, it hurts, but not as bad as my pride
07:32Yeah, come on!
07:33Oh, oh!
07:34Now this may look like Swamp Gothic to you, but things in Hazard ain't always what they appear to be
07:39Cause inside is Ma Harper
07:41The slickest card bookie and slot lady this side of Vegas
07:45Ma's so crooked that she's been barred by the mafia for giving them a bad name
07:49Now, let's see how good you boys learned your lessons for today, beginning with Billy Jean
07:55Yes, Ma
07:56Rule one, always try to get the sucker to set between two of your kinfolk
08:01That's it
08:02Rule two, be sure to use your own deck, so you know how the cards is marked
08:06Ha, ha, fine
08:07Rule three, you only deal from the bottom of the deck when you have to, which is most of the
08:13time
08:13It just does my heart good to hear my baby sons learning the important things in life
08:19Oh, hello, Maybelle
08:21Let me say hello from Roscoe
08:22Will you please?
08:23Oh, please
08:25Hello from Roscoe
08:25Oh, no!
08:27Maybelle, give me Ma Harper over to Chickasaw Cali
08:41Hello?
08:42Who?
08:44Well, Jefferson Davis Hogg, you old darling
08:48It's been some time since I heard your sweet voice
08:50What can I do for you, J.D.?
08:53Ma, look
08:53You being the biggest bookie in the Tri-County area
08:58I wanna place a bet with you of $5,000 on Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane to win
09:06Who?
09:07Ordinarily I don't mess with such piddlin' amounts, but for old time's sake, you're on, honey
09:12All right, thank you very much, boy
09:15I knew I could count on you
09:17Here's something else you can count on
09:20If you lose, I'm gonna send my boy Junior over to pick up your losins
09:25Bye now
09:26Eh, bye
09:30That fat, hairless hog never risked a dime on anything that wasn't fixed
09:35Then why did you take his bet, Ma?
09:38Cause I'm gonna turn around and place it with another bookie along with $5,000 of my own to go
09:44along with it
09:45Come, Sheriff
09:47Uh, Bosch, you really think I'm gonna win that race?
09:50Yep, yep
09:50Ooh, ooh, ooh
09:52I can already picture what I'm gonna do with that $1,000 winning money
09:56Cause you...
09:57Well, you ain't gonna get that
09:58Just a cut
10:00My usual 50% of 50%?
10:03Uh-uh, I was thinking about 25% of 25%
10:07Ooh, now, boss, now that don't seem exactly fair, you see
10:10I'm gonna be doing the driving, I oughta get my usual 50% of 50% or even more
10:14That's right, you're right
10:16I will give you more
10:17Ooh
10:18What'd you say to 50% of 50% of 50%?
10:2350% of 50%?
10:25Oh, 50%?
10:26Mm-hmm
10:27Oh, you rascal
10:29I just... you know something
10:30I just knew you were gonna give it to me in the end
10:33Yeah, the short end
10:35That's exactly what I'm doing
10:37Get out of here
10:38Get out of here
10:39Get out of here
10:39Get out of here
10:45Good luck, Cougar
10:46You be sure to do everything Doc just said now
10:48Bye, Bob
10:49Bye, Luke
10:50Bye, Jay
10:50Thanks, Jay
10:52Man, what a bad time for something like this to happen
10:55Well, how does Doc expect me to drive in that race with this great big old white thing on my
11:00foot?
11:00Well, let's get you to the garage, all right?
11:02Shoot
11:02Fuck
11:04Look, fellas, it says right there
11:06That anybody that withdraws from the race
11:08Or loses the race
11:09Is gonna give their pink slip up to Boss Hog
11:13Yeah, we've been taken again
11:16You boys are so busy counting your winnings
11:19You didn't know J.D. Hogg was stealing the fillings out of your teeth
11:22Well, that's just for starters
11:23They've been talking about some kind of secret weapon
11:26That's gonna win the race for Roscoe
11:28Tacey, we ain't worried about Roscoe, we're worried about Cooter
11:31What are we gonna do about Cooter?
11:32Well, Cooter put himself out of commission to help you boys, didn't he?
11:35Yes, sir
11:35You're gonna have to return the favor
11:37Since you're driving the General Lee, Luke, there, you're gonna have to drive Cooter's car
11:41You mean race against Bo?
11:42Well, that wouldn't hardly be right, we're always a team
11:45Well, there's a first time for everything
11:47Besides, you owe it to Cooter
11:52Well, now don't that just blow your hat in a quick
11:54Duke driving against Duke
11:57Meanwhile, old Cooter had a few ideas of his own on the subject
12:00All of them bad
12:16Ain't that Cooter?
12:17Sure is
12:23Crazy seat from Double D, this here's Luke
12:25You sure you sprained your ankle, not your head?
12:27I thought Doc Petticoire told you not to use that leg for a week
12:30Come back at you, Double D, yeah
12:32Well, Doc ain't got his house and his farm and his dogs and everything riding on this race either
12:37I gotta find out if I can drive y'all
12:39Hey, you don't have to, Cooter
12:41I'm gonna drive that car in the race for you
12:43Hey, I appreciate the offer, but, uh, not if I can help it, you know
12:52Pick up speed, tell me to use the brakes
12:54Cooter, use your brakes
12:56I can't
12:57My foot is stuck between the brake and the floor
12:59How about the emergency?
13:01Ain't got one, took it off for the race
13:07Looks like I'm gonna have to ride this one out clean to the bottom, y'all
13:15Cut around and see if we can slow them down
13:17You got it
13:17Alright, hold it steady, Cooter
13:19We're gonna try and make an end run around here
13:22They're gonna pull an end what?
13:25I don't know about y'all, but I don't think that's gonna work
13:30Now, friends, this is gonna get thick
13:42Alright, now, once you make contact, cut your engine
13:45Do it as soon as I get through praying
13:50What?
14:04So that's an end, Ron
14:07Summon the guns
14:14Now, while the boys were saving Cooter
14:16Roscoe and the boss was getting ready to slicker everybody out of their cars
14:20Especially the Dukes
14:21That is the secret
14:24Nitrous oxide?
14:26Nitrous oxide, boss?
14:28I mean, that stuff can be dangerous
14:29Uh-uh
14:30Well, if you don't use it more than a few seconds at a time
14:33Oh, I see
14:36Now, that stuff goes from that tank
14:38Uh-huh
14:39All the way underneath
14:40Uh-huh
14:41And then
14:41Yeah
14:43Of course, right through this little itty-bitty tube
14:46Right into the carburetor
14:47Ooh, that little bitty tube there, huh?
14:50Now, all you gotta do is press a button you'll find on the dashboard
14:53And it triples your horsepower
14:55Oh, what?
14:56Oh, I got some terrible news
14:58Cooter's sprained his ankle
14:59He ain't gonna be able to race in the race
15:03What a cruel twist of fate
15:05I'm gonna run right over there
15:07And offer that poor boy my sympathy and condolence
15:11He'll help me with this
15:12Cleetis
15:13What?
15:14Oh, don't lean on it
15:1524, I know they got 34 on mine
15:16Listen, Cleetis, don't you see what's
15:18You're...
15:19That's...
15:19You're gonna make...
15:21Lift that
15:22Ooh, ooh
15:23Ah!
15:25See there?
15:25See a slar?
15:27Lean on that a little bit
15:30Hello, me Bill
15:32Listen
15:33You know how to use this new...
15:34I don't figure boss is fixin' the wire cooter flowers and candy
15:38Well, of course it ain't no trouble, J.D. Honey, to double your bet on Roscoe to $10,000
15:44Only, uh...
15:46If you lose, I'm going to send Junior and the other boys over to collect your loosens
15:52Bye-bye
15:57Boys, I think it's time to insure our bets
16:04There ain't no sense in too many folks
16:06Know when I'm going to hazard
16:08Up till now, I always thought old Jesse's mule, Maudine, was the stubbornest critter in hazard
16:13But compared to old Cooter, she's the softest daisy smile
16:16Just tell me this, Cooter
16:18Just give me one good reason why Luke here can't drive your car
16:22I can give you a dozen good reasons, Uncle Jesse
16:25First of all, these boys are the best drivers around here
16:27You put either one of them behind this engine, they're going to be a lead pipe cinch to win
16:32Well, that's the name of the game, eh?
16:34Well, now if it's going to cost y'all the General Lee, no
16:36Oh, Cooter, the General ain't lost a race in Hazard County yet
16:39And he ain't going to start now
16:40Especially since you're stuck with Luke driving that car
16:42Stuck with Luke?
16:44Yeah
16:44I like that
16:45You should
16:45I taught you how to drive
16:46The heck you did, you didn't teach me nothing
16:48The only thing you taught me is how to drive
16:49Now there is another good reason
16:51They're fighting already
16:52No matter who's going to win the race, they're going to be ticked off at each other
16:56Y'all's farms liable to turn into a regular battlefield
16:59Well, we'd rather risk that than to see you beat out of everything you own
17:05Sounds decided to me
17:08Yep, looks like I'm going to be driving that car and Bo's going to be eating my dust the whole
17:11way
17:24Hey
17:26You're one of the same
17:27You got it
17:29Oh, Luke, you realize this is the first time you and me ever raced against these other
17:33We weren't just playing around
17:34Yep
17:36I think deep down inside each one of us thinks he's better than the other one
17:39Only we never had opportunity to prove it
17:40Yeah, of course it could be like Cooter says though
17:44Whoever wins is going to make the other one feel lower in a snake's belly
17:47Well, I'll tell you
17:49If it wasn't for Boss Hog winding up with the General Lee after the race
17:52I think I'd just forfeit save you the embarrassment
17:55Hey, look, don't do me no favors
17:57Your head's been getting a little too big for your hat band lately
17:59I think it's time we take you down a size or two
18:02Welcome to try
18:04Good luck
18:08At the boar's nest while Boss and Roscoe were in the back scheming
18:11Daisy was setting up for the day's trade
18:15Hey, I'm sorry, but we're not open for lunch, ma'am
18:17Oh, that's why we came when we did, honey
18:20I know what kind of food Boss serves
18:23Come, Cherry
18:26I want to zip down this caddy
18:29Why, J.D., you old rascal
18:38If you ain't a sight for sore eyes, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit
18:43Besides the thought of money
18:45Well, I figured it was about time you met my boys
18:48Oh
18:48Yes, this is Billy Boy
18:50Billy Boy
18:52And Billy Jean
18:54Yeah, Billy Jean
18:55And Junior
18:57Meet Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltree
19:01The good sheriff's gonna win me a fortune in the Hazard County Derby
19:05With our unbeatable secret weapon
19:08All right, Junior, turn him loose
19:10We ain't ready for him
19:11Yeah
19:11Oh, there is
19:14Oh, yeah
19:15What do you mean, yet?
19:16Well, since J.D. had confidence enough to place $10,000 on you to win
19:21I done the same
19:22And I brought my boys to protect my interests
19:25Me and Billy Boy's gonna be entering our own cars
19:28Just to make sure, don't nobody beat you
19:31Wrong, wrong, see, that's wrong
19:32See, you didn't get your entry blank in any time
19:35Sheriff, don't tell me you forgot those two entry blanks that come through the mail
19:40Postmarked much earlier than that
19:44Oh, them entry blanks
19:46Now, how about a special showing of that secret weapon
19:50Here, I'll just
19:54See, I'd like to, I really would
19:57But you see, I can't tip my hand
19:59Junior
20:08I'm a sheriff
20:09I'm rasko feed coltree
20:11And I'm not about to
20:12Listen, I'm serious
20:13I'm not gonna
20:14I am not gonna show you
20:16any of my secrets
20:17I'll tell you what I'm gonna do
20:20I'm gonna back it up and get a good run at it
20:47What Roscoe didn't know was two other entrants were having a little test run, too.
21:05Now, Roscoe should have remembered that that road was blocked.
21:08He picked up the draft money from the construction company.
21:11You know, some days nothing works right.
21:31Let's go!
21:35Peter, much as I hate to say this about my own kin, you got yourself a terminal case of the
21:40stupids.
21:41Thought you told me the cooter's car was out of the race.
21:44Buzzard's on a buzzsaw, cousin boss.
21:45How am I supposed to know the cooter's going to get Luke to drive his car for him, especially against
21:49General Lee?
21:51Oh, Ma, what you just seen out there was my secret weapon.
21:56Ain't no other car going to be able to beat that.
21:59They sure can't, J.D. Sugar.
22:01After all, they got to show up to beat them.
22:04Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
22:08ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
22:09ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
22:13ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
22:14ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
22:15ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
22:22see what kind of secret weapon it is and i'd appreciate it if you didn't follow me all right
22:28that's a big ten four regardless of what maw had up her sleeve besides cards
22:34i figured that she couldn't cause old bo and luke half the trouble that they're starting to
22:38cause themselves what are you doing the car i'm just tuning him up like i always do for a race
22:42yeah this fuel mixture awful lean so you just uh thickened it right up for me out of the kindness
22:47your little duke heart i'd say that yeah might i also say that you made him so he'd flood out
22:53soon
22:53as i stepped on in the beginning of the race you know better than that look you're so smart you
23:02do
23:02it yourself looks like old cooter was right them boys are just too naturally competitive to be going at
23:07each other once i get to the end of shelby road that'll put me about the halfway mark then i'll
23:12cut through the trees over here look at my road map i'm just showing daisy here i'm gonna beat
23:17you in the race is all taking all my shortcuts huh oh you mean these little chicken tracks over
23:22here no no sir wasn't even looking at them sure you know luke i don't take kindly being called a
23:30liar by nobody if the shoe fits what about if the fist fits now quit you two are carrying on
23:36like a
23:36couple of banding roosters and the race ain't even started yet don't talk to me he started it and i'll
23:41finish it too in the race providing you get that far don't you forget about that little old lady daisy
23:46said was so dang sure you weren't even going to make it to the starting line to keep general lee
23:51safe old bow hit him in the bar knowing that that was the first place the harper boys would look
24:08the dang fool's left the keys in the car we don't even got to hotwire it i'll go open the
24:12door
24:13since the motor turns over
24:18it won't already start without this here rotor
24:47all right
24:49Who are you and what do you want?
24:51And what you doing on my farm?
24:53Uncle Jesse, these are the two fellows that were at the boar's nest yesterday
24:56with that little old lady I was telling you about.
24:58There's also another one about the size of a grizzly bear.
25:00They was visiting with Boss.
25:02That sounds about right.
25:03Boss knows Roscoe can't outrace us,
25:05so he sends out reinforcements to eliminate the competition.
25:08Oh, yeah.
25:10You're just going back and tell J.D. Hogg his little scheme didn't work.
25:14And I catch you around my farm again,
25:15I'm going to make a citizen's arrest for car napping.
25:19Now, get.
25:20I'm leaving, boys, if I was you.
25:22Yeah.
25:23Now, get out of here.
25:24Get on.
25:27All righty.
25:29Well, it sure is nice to see you two working together again for a change.
25:33This little ruckus proved one thing.
25:35You two ain't feuding no more.
25:37I was just protecting the general.
25:38I don't want Bo to have no excuses for losing tomorrow.
25:45Go to bed.
25:47It's about a half hour before race time,
25:49and things are pretty quiet.
25:51But knowing Boss, old Cooter was on the lookout for trouble.
25:54Only he never figured he'd come wrapped in lavender and old lace.
25:57Excuse me, ma'am.
25:58I'm sorry.
26:00What can I do for you?
26:02I was hoping you could help me locate the Duke farm.
26:05I'm going to pay a surprise visit to my old friend Jesse.
26:08Oh, well, I sure can.
26:09That'll be a pleasant surprise for him.
26:11I tell you what, I'll do better than that.
26:13I'll go call on the CB out to the farm,
26:15have Daisy or one of the boys run up here and get you.
26:17So nice of you.
26:19If I had boys of my own,
26:20I would hope they'd all be as kind and considerate as you.
26:24Shucks, ma'am.
26:25I'm just like all the rest of the old boys around here.
26:27Oh, I can't believe that.
26:28My goodness, would you look at this?
26:31Would you just...
26:32Oh, this brings back memories.
26:34My late husband drove a car just like this.
26:37She did.
26:38Well, ma'am, your husband had just as good a taste in cars as he had in ladies.
26:42Well, thank you.
26:44I don't suppose you'd let me sit behind that wheel for just a minute
26:47while you make that call on the CB.
26:49I don't see why not.
26:50Why don't you just climb right aboard here now?
26:52All right, all right.
26:53I think it goes something like this
26:55and then like this.
26:57I've seen this do, I swear.
26:58You got it.
27:00There we are.
27:00You be careful now.
27:04Not on your grease gun, buddy.
27:13I think I've done been hay.
27:19Break it one, break it one.
27:20Might be crazy, but I ain't done.
27:21Crazy Cooter coming at you.
27:23Any of y'all dupes home when I hazard net?
27:24I sure hope so.
27:25I'm in a mess of trouble.
27:28Cooter, we're all here.
27:29What's wrong, honey?
27:30Everything's wrong.
27:31Nicest little old lady you ever saw just swiped my car.
27:34That's her.
27:35The one that was at the boar's nest with them yahoos y'all caught last night.
27:38Let's hope she's no smarter than they are.
27:41Yeah, Cooter, which way is she headed?
27:42West, out of town.
27:44All right, I'll try and find her right away.
27:46Well, you better do it fast as that race starts at 11 o'clock.
27:50I'm gone, y'all.
27:51Tell you what, I'm going to help you.
27:52You don't need no built-in excuses not to race in this race.
27:55We'll see you at the starting line, Daisy.
27:58Take her easy.
28:17Woo-hoo!
28:20Shepherd of lost sheep, shepherd of lost sheep.
28:22Come in.
28:23You've got your ears on.
28:24Got you loud and clear, Uncle Jesse. What's up?
28:27I'm here at the end of Old Mill Road, and I just seen Cooter's car go by.
28:31Looks like it's driven by some little old lady.
28:33Which way she had it?
28:34Toward Seminole Canyon, and she was driving like she had a trunk load of shine
28:39and a whole bunch of revenuers on her tail.
28:41All right, we're after her. Hang on.
28:46Ah!
28:52You keep flying like that, we're going to have to weld a pair of wings on the general.
28:56It almost might have been funny you should mention that, Luke.
28:58I was thinking of dragging me a couple boat anchors just so you could keep up with me in the
29:01race.
29:02Ha, ha, ha, ha.
29:03Let it go.
29:16Now, Junior was waiting in Boss's borrowed car, which he hot-wired.
29:20Well, darling.
29:20I tell you, Ma Harper's family is tough on cars.
29:24Now, darling, you get some tree branches and cover the car.
29:26Put it down here. If anyone comes along, drive it over the edge.
29:30Why don't I do that anyway, Ma? Then I can ride back to town with you.
29:33Because, honey, there's an engine in that thing worth a lot of cash,
29:37and we might as well have it instead of Boss.
29:39Now, put me down so I can drive Boss's car back to town before he misses it.
29:43There.
29:44That'd be sweet, darling.
30:01Now, spotting the car wasn't too tough for the Duke boys.
30:04Once old Jessie knew which direction she was headed in.
30:08Hey, Bo, up ahead behind them bushes.
30:11Would you look at that?
30:14I'll be a son of a gun.
30:18That ain't a fuck.
30:20Yes, sir.
30:23How about that?
30:24Well, that ain't a half-bad job of camouflaging.
30:26For all the good it's gonna do them.
30:30It's a long way down.
30:32Let's get this garbage off here, get this car to start in line.
30:34Yes, sir.
30:38All right, all right, all right.
30:44Look out, Luke!
30:46Of course, they didn't figure on disturbing Junior.
30:48He must have been grazing for lunch.
31:08Oh, I got him where I want him now.
31:12Oh, ah!
31:14Oh!
31:16Oh!
31:17Oh!
31:17Oh!
31:22I'll get you if that's last time.
31:23Well, you don't look like he's hurting too bad.
31:27You're not gonna get away with this.
31:29Say, uh, I'm sorry if I've been getting a little crazy lately.
31:33I don't blame you for getting so feisty.
31:34Shoot all the lip I've been giving you.
31:38Thing is that now's a pretty bad time for us to be feuding.
31:41You know what?
31:43I'm gonna break every bone in your body when I get up there.
31:49Because this don't mean that I ain't still gonna try to whip your tail in that race.
31:52You better try.
31:55Uncle Jesse whipped both our butts if we both didn't try.
31:57Here, look at that.
31:57Good luck.
32:02I'll follow you.
32:04All righty.
32:05You're gonna be sorry you ever tangled with me.
32:07Okay.
32:08Okay.
32:09Okay.
32:09Okay.
32:10Okay.
32:12Okay.
32:13Okay.
32:18What's the kind?
32:21What kind of anything?
32:26Oh, yeah.
32:30Some food.
32:34Look at that.
32:37Okay.
32:39Okay.
32:41Okay.
32:58Watch out for that drop.
32:59Now you tell me.
33:09You all right?
33:11Yeah, Luke, I'm fine, but the general took an awful bad spill there.
33:16Looks like you put together a good dinosaur.
33:18I sure enough did.
33:20Peanuts, hot dogs, get them while they're hot.
33:23Peanuts.
33:23Three minutes till startin' time. I wonder where them boys are.
33:27I don't know, sir, but to tell you the truth, I don't care if they ever show up in my
33:31car.
33:32That's no way to talk, Cooter. Unless they do and Luke wins the race, you're gonna be belly up, honey.
33:36Well, maybe so. But if boss comes up winners on this deal, I'm the one that's gonna be responsible.
33:43Things just won't ever be the same after that.
33:50Well, there goes another fence for the Dukes to mend.
33:53You know, those boys put in about three days a month doing that.
33:57We got about two minutes to meet the deadline. How's the general doing?
34:01Well, I ain't so sure. He's still rollin' along, but he's growin' somethin' fierce.
34:07All right, you got everything straight, didn't you?
34:08Yeah.
34:09Oh, look, you've got your helmet on.
34:10Oh, no wonder it was hard to breathe.
34:12All right, forget it. You know, everything works here.
34:15Yeah, press this. Don't do it. Don't do it now.
34:17Now, remember, there's gonna be dig boys in each car, so...
34:20Don't you worry about a thing, even if this nitrous oxide...
34:25Even if this nitrous oxide don't work.
34:28I got a lot of other tricks up my sleeve.
34:30Eat that right, fly that shit.
34:34Don't tell me you're countin' on help from that moot.
34:37Yeah.
34:41Jesse, they're still not here.
34:43Well, just quit your fussin' and fretin'.
34:45They'll be along. They'll be along.
34:46They'll be along if they gotta be pushin' them cars.
34:50Of course, they never do what you expect them to do.
34:53I wanna be next to Boss Hopper when this thing starts. Come on.
34:56Seeing as how Cooter would've recognized her at the starting line,
35:00Boss Hopper found another way to continue her boys' education.
35:03All right, now, remember, boys, you ain't in this race to win.
35:05We got $10,000 ridin' on Roscoe, so you wreck any car that gets near it.
35:10But be sweet about it. I wanna be proud of you.
35:14Don't you worry, Ma. We can handle it.
35:16Well, you better.
35:17Because if you don't, you still ain't too big to get your bitches warm with a hickory stick.
35:23Come on, man. Come on. Come on.
35:26Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
35:34Come on, man. Come on, man. Come on.
35:38He-he-he! They got some brass comin'.
35:49All right, everybody, I reckon this breeze is just about ready to start.
35:55Well, maybe by your clock, but my clock says they got exactly wind in English.
36:00Here they come! Here they come, Bo! Look, Bo! Yahoo!
36:09On your mark! Get set!
36:12I'm not yet, you ninny!
36:20Come on, come on!
36:21Here we go!
36:31Stop! Stop, are you, Roscoe!
36:38I'm fighting you for the structure of the county property!
36:40Namely me!
36:46Roscoe gave J.D. his come downer.
36:49And he's rolling.
36:50Yeah, he's picking up speed pretty good. Ain't nothing gonna stop him now.
36:53There, maybe there!
37:03Go get it, Bo!
37:04You can do it! I know you can! Come on!
37:25You can!
37:28You can do it!
37:29You can do it!
37:41Come on!
37:43It's your rightę!
37:47Aw прям!
37:51You can do it!
37:52Time out!!!
38:02Well, that's two out, thanks to Roscoe.
38:19Lucas, you could have cut a hand in there, buddy. Why didn't you?
38:21It's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.
38:47Watch this, Flash.
38:48Watch this, Flash.
38:49Oh, that's it.
38:51Oh, that's it.
38:53Oh, that's it.
38:55Oh, that's it.
38:56Oh, that's it.
38:56Bus is on a bus, so I need a detour fast.
39:00Oh, oh, oh.
39:01Aeah!
39:02Get closer, John.
39:03Ah!
39:03Oh, whoa.
39:22Oh, whoa.
39:27Ah!
39:30Woo-hoo!
39:35Oh, my God.
40:01At the halfway point, Roscoe was ahead, followed by Bo, Luke, Cletus, and the Harper boys.
40:21You little fat buddy, this is Roscoe.
40:24If you're on the phone, I'm halfway home, ain't there, little boy?
40:26Oh, my God.
40:30Roscoe, don't you feel, little buddy, me.
40:32Now, how far behind you are them dang Duke boys?
40:35Midget?
40:36Oh, they're about a hundred yards.
40:39That's all.
40:40But you better make that a thousand yards behind you
40:42if you want a job waiting for you when you get big.
40:44Well, listen, boys.
40:46If they can't see it, they can't catch it,
40:49I'm gone.
40:50Now for my secret weapon to smoke.
41:03There's too much smoke.
41:04Pull over, Luke.
41:09Cletus, be out of smoke.
41:37Well, I kind of figured on that.
41:39Didn't you?
41:41Didn't you?
41:54Oh, good, I'm not.
41:59I'm moving.
42:05We're best to cut across country, Luke.
42:07It's the only way we're going to beat Roscoe across that finish line.
42:09Right behind you, Kyle.
42:20Yee-haw!
42:23Yee-haw!
42:24Yee-haw!
42:33Yee-haw!
42:37Oh, good news, good news, Flash.
42:40We're going to win.
42:41We're going to win.
42:42And then we're going to celebrate tonight.
42:44I'm going to get myself a big T-bone steak.
42:47I'm going to get you a little doggy biscuit.
42:49You're going to try that old squeeze play.
42:51You're going to give her everything you've got.
42:56The Harpers are trying a little squeeze play on Bo and Luke, but all the Harpers got was each other.
43:08Boy, howdy.
43:09I'm glad I ain't going to be having to face old Ma Harper at supper.
43:35Uncle Jesse!
43:36Here they come!
43:38Yeah, hi, I see you.
43:39General A's out front!
43:40Woo!
43:51I'm telling y'all, I don't know whether to holler or cry.
43:54Oh, good news.
44:11Luke, I lost all my forward gears.
44:13Sorry to hear that, cousin.
44:14Just keep the general out of my way.
44:21Oh, good news.
44:22But I didn't say nothing about reverse.
44:24See, it's the finish line.
44:32Ain't nothing going to stop me now, boy.
44:45That dang fool's trying to backer you.
44:47That just proves us dupes never give up.
44:49Florida's our backer.
44:51Well, neither do I.
44:53Well, neither do I.
44:58Austin, it's G.G.
44:59Hawk here.
45:00Now's the time to hit the button for the nitrous...
45:03Well, the secret weapon.
45:05Now, you keep it if you're not going to get a skunk.
45:08All right.
45:09Flash?
45:10Feel that power?
45:20Hang on, Flash.
45:21This landing's going to be a doozy.
45:23Oh, my God.
45:39Oh, my God.
45:41Oh, my God.
45:46Oh, my God.
45:46They finished dead even.
45:48We both won.
45:49We both won.
45:50We both won.
45:50Ha, ha.
45:51Now, not only did boss have to cough up the $10,000
45:54that he bet on Roscoe, but ma made him pay the $10,000
45:58that she lost on the race, which didn't do her any good,
46:03since the state police were waiting to close her down
46:05when she got home.
46:06So she'd have to finish educating her boys, and the state
46:09penitentiary.
46:11And Cooter sold his engine for more than enough money
46:13to get out of hock to boss.
46:20As for Bo and Luke, neither of them found out which one
46:24was the best driver.
46:25But they did agree on one thing.
46:27They weren't ever going to try to find out.
46:30You know, I kind of like that.
46:32Don't you?
47:19I'll be here in a specialCA.
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