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- #onlyfoolsandhorses
Tv, Only Fools And Horses S07E09 1993 - Fatal Extraction.
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00:00:00Stick a bunny in me pocket
00:00:06I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:00:09Cause if you are the best ones
00:00:13But you don't ask questions
00:00:15Then brother, I'm your man
00:00:17Cause where it all comes from is a mystery
00:00:21It's like the changing of the seasons
00:00:24And the tides of the sea
00:00:25But is the one which's driving me berserk
00:00:29Why do only fools and horses work
00:00:33La-la-la-la
00:00:34La-la-la-la-la
00:00:36La-la-la-la
00:00:38La-la-la-la-la
00:00:40La-la-la-la
00:00:42La-la-la-la-la-la
00:00:43Colder and shallower, certainly wintry almost everywhere by tonight
00:00:47Frost holds are developed
00:00:48Derek! Your breakfast has been on the table for the last 15 minutes!
00:00:54Isn't that nice?
00:00:56Yes, thank you.
00:00:57I was talking to Damien.
00:00:59Next time you do the shopping, buy the ketchup in a glass bottle
00:01:06And another thing, Albert, will you please stop boiling your old vests and pants out on our cooker?
00:01:13This is almost the 21st century and we have washing machines for that sort of thing
00:01:17Look, Raquel, why are you angry at me? I'm not the one who's been coming home late every night. I'm always here in the flat
00:01:22Yes, aren't you just?
00:01:24Oh!
00:01:25Oh!
00:01:25Oh!
00:01:26Oh!
00:01:27Good morning, Art!
00:01:28Ah!
00:01:29Oh!
00:01:29Morning!
00:01:30Oh!
00:01:30Bloody tooth!
00:01:31Oh!
00:01:32Oh!
00:01:33Hello, champ!
00:01:34Hey!
00:01:35Hey!
00:01:36Hey!
00:01:37Good morning!
00:01:38How are you this morning?
00:01:39This looks really good, this doesn't it?
00:01:40Oh!
00:01:41I'm having a cold on the wall pole!
00:01:42Oh, she don't frighten me, Albert.
00:01:43I've handled much more violent women than her.
00:01:45Woo!
00:01:47Good morning, sweetheart.
00:01:49Any calls for me last night, was there?
00:01:51I haven't a clue, I went to bed early.
00:01:53Oh!
00:01:54Why don't you get yourself an answering machine, Derek?
00:01:55Answering machine?
00:01:56Good idea, darling, yes?
00:01:57Just what the business needs is an answer phone.
00:02:00Especially seeing as you're too exhausted to do it these days.
00:02:03I tell you what, Damien's getting a bit big for that high chair.
00:02:06Look at him, he'll be starting work soon.
00:02:08There's nothing wrong with a high chair.
00:02:10Exactly.
00:02:11No, that isn't very good nick.
00:02:13I might get a few quid for that.
00:02:15I think I've put an ad in the local news agents.
00:02:18What time did you get in last night?
00:02:19Really?
00:02:20Oh, er, about quarter past twelve.
00:02:23It was twenty to two.
00:02:25Was it?
00:02:26Oh!
00:02:27I mean, the battery's going in this box, look.
00:02:31So, where were you?
00:02:32Hmm?
00:02:33Erm, I went down the nags head, had a swift half,
00:02:36and then I had to go and meet someone in the, erm, casino.
00:02:41Oh, that's a relief.
00:02:43For a minute there I was worried you might be squandering our money.
00:02:46How much you win, son?
00:02:47Shut up!
00:02:48Don't be silly, Al, but Del doesn't know what winning is.
00:02:51Eat your breakfast, Del.
00:02:53I thought you said all this fried stuff was bad for me veins.
00:02:57Eat your breakfast, Del.
00:03:01She's not happy, son.
00:03:03Well, she's a woman, isn't she?
00:03:06Anyway, takes me mind off me tooth.
00:03:08I don't know.
00:03:09What were you and poor, Rodney?
00:03:11He started to look ashen-faced, didn't he?
00:03:14Hmm.
00:03:15Does look a bit cream-crackered of late.
00:03:17Don't worry.
00:03:18I'll have a word with him.
00:03:20I usually manage to sort out his problems.
00:03:32Hello?
00:03:33Cassandra, it's Raquel.
00:03:35Can you talk?
00:03:36Rodney's not there, is he?
00:03:37No, he's left for work.
00:03:39I just phoned to see what the doctor said last night.
00:03:41Oh, she was ever so nice.
00:03:42Basically, she said not to worry.
00:03:44She's got three couples on her books who've been trying for babies for over a year.
00:03:48So Rodney and I are almost rookies.
00:03:50I've got to take my temperature hourly, keep a chart, usual stuff.
00:03:54Oh, and she's given me some exercises that are supposed to strengthen the muscles.
00:03:58Have you abandoned that, um, scheduled thing she worked out for you?
00:04:02I don't know how either of you keep up the pace.
00:04:04It sounded excessive for Mel Gibson and his wife, let alone you and Rodney.
00:04:07Now, I've decided to continue with that.
00:04:09I know it hasn't worked, but Rodney's enjoyed himself trying.
00:04:15All right, Rodney?
00:04:17Yeah, all right, mate.
00:04:18What have you been up to?
00:04:19You look like some vampire's been having a go at you.
00:04:22I don't follow that up very much.
00:04:24You weren't involved in that riot on your stake the other night, were you?
00:04:27No, I was not.
00:04:29As if I'd get involved in a riot.
00:04:31Well, you don't look well.
00:04:33He looks shagged out, don't he, lad?
00:04:38There's nothing wrong with me, all right?
00:04:41Raquel, you haven't mentioned this baby business to Del, have you?
00:04:44Of course not.
00:04:46Rodney thinks we ought to choose the right time to tell him.
00:04:49I'll leave it to you.
00:04:50How are things with you and Del?
00:04:52Much the same.
00:04:54He didn't get in until 22 this morning.
00:04:56Why don't you ask Rodney to find out what's happening?
00:04:59Because I'm a bit frightened of what the answer might be.
00:05:01I think the first flush of fatherhood and domesticity is called,
00:05:04and he's gone back to his old ways.
00:05:06He's done a pub and casino with his stupid mates.
00:05:08We'll have to go. Someone's coming. Talk to you soon. Bye.
00:05:11He's dropped a load of beans on the carpet.
00:05:15Well, why don't you wipe them up?
00:05:17Me? No, let the old git wipe them up himself.
00:05:20Oh, damn it.
00:05:23Have you spoken to Cassandra recently?
00:05:26No.
00:05:27No?
00:05:28Well, when you do, you'll find out if there's anything wrong between her and Rodgers.
00:05:31Don't go interfering in their lives, Del.
00:05:33What?
00:05:34He's my young brother. I've got a right to interfere.
00:05:36If they've got a problem, I just want to help out.
00:05:38Oh, God. That is the best yet.
00:05:42Come on. Time for your wash.
00:05:47Are you, Albert?
00:05:49If you're doing this to annoy me, it's not working.
00:05:56It means you wonder whether it's all worthwhile, doesn't it, honk, eh?
00:05:59Yeah, if you say so, son.
00:06:00I do, sir.
00:06:03Oh, mucky old sod.
00:06:06I picked this up at a library yesterday.
00:06:10Relate.
00:06:11It's the new word for marriage guidance.
00:06:13I didn't know if it'd be any good to you.
00:06:15Oh, thanks very much, honk.
00:06:17Actually, it's just the sort of thing I'm looking for, this.
00:06:25I'm just going to make a private phone call.
00:06:36Hello?
00:06:37Oh, hello, Cassandra.
00:06:38It's Del Boy. How are you, sweetheart?
00:06:39I'm fine, thanks.
00:06:40I'm fine, thanks.
00:06:41Oh, Custy.
00:06:43Um, look, Cassandra, I don't want to interfere or anything like that, but I'm a little bit
00:06:47worried about young Rodders.
00:06:48He's, well, he seems to be a bit worried, you know.
00:06:49He's not his old self, and I just wondered if there was anything I could do to help.
00:06:50Look, Cassandra, I don't want to interfere or anything like that, but I'm a little bit
00:06:54worried about young Rodders.
00:06:55He's, well, he seems to be a bit worried, you know, he's not his old self, and I just
00:07:00wondered if there was anything I could do to help.
00:07:01Look, if you must know, Del, Rodney and I are trying for a baby.
00:07:20Yeah, all right, I'll get off the phone then, all right?
00:07:33No, not right now.
00:07:36Rodney's not even here.
00:07:39He left half an hour ago.
00:07:41Mum, he left half an hour ago and you're still panting?
00:07:44I'm in the middle of my exercises.
00:07:49Oh, your exercise!
00:07:51Oh, I see what you mean.
00:07:52I thought that you...
00:07:53Well, never mind what I thought.
00:07:54But, um, look, I can't help you unless you let me know what is happening.
00:08:00Oh, God.
00:08:02All right?
00:08:04Yeah.
00:08:05Where is everyone?
00:08:06Oh, Raquel's seeing the Littlin and Del's in the kitchen making a private phone call.
00:08:10They too.
00:08:11I think it's the marriage guidance people.
00:08:14Him and Raquel aren't married.
00:08:15I know, but they're round, aren't they?
00:08:17I'll make you a new pot of tea, sir.
00:08:19Oh, yes, yes.
00:08:20Oh, you see, the thing is, you know, that a man...
00:08:24Well, a man, you know, any man can, in fact, you know, lose his drive.
00:08:28Rodney hasn't lost his drive.
00:08:32Rodney hasn't lost his drive.
00:08:34No, no, no, no, no.
00:08:35I'm not saying that is happening, no.
00:08:37What I'm saying is that a man, you know, a man, any man, can, well, you know, lose his oomph.
00:08:45Yeah.
00:08:46Naturally, you see, the woman, she becomes frustrated and disappointed.
00:08:50But that, but that's not necessarily the man's fault, is it, eh?
00:08:56Oh, er, morning, Raquel.
00:08:58Oh, morning.
00:08:59Where's Del?
00:09:00Er, he's on the phone.
00:09:01Who to?
00:09:02Don't know.
00:09:03Don't know.
00:09:04So, how's life treating you?
00:09:06How's life treating me?
00:09:08Do you mean besides him coming in at all hours in the morning, spending every spare hour
00:09:12with his mates down the pub and wasting our money in that casino?
00:09:15Yeah.
00:09:17Well, I'll give you an example of how life's treating me, Rodney.
00:09:20Have you seen what's inside my wardrobe?
00:09:22No.
00:09:23Well, not to put too fine a point on it, the only times my clothes look fashionable
00:09:27is when I'm watching UK Gold.
00:09:29Now, a short while ago, Del happened to mention that he had a contact in the rag trade.
00:09:35Yeah.
00:09:36This fella could get the very latest in fashion and all the top designer labels.
00:09:40Christmas was approaching, Del asked me what I'd like.
00:09:43Anything you want, sweetheart, just name it.
00:09:46So I said I wouldn't mind a little number by Bruce Oldfield.
00:09:55He got me tubular bells.
00:09:58That's my fault, Phil.
00:09:59I know.
00:10:00Yeah.
00:10:01Now, listen, all you've got to do, sweetheart, is you just take your time, right?
00:10:05You just take your time and you'll have a lovely, healthy baby, just like my Damien.
00:10:10There.
00:10:11Nine pounds, he was, you know.
00:10:13Yeah.
00:10:14I remember the day that he was born.
00:10:17Yeah, of course, me and Raquel, you know, haven't given up hope of doing it again sometime.
00:10:23What's the baby's weight got to do with it?
00:10:25No, no, no, no.
00:10:26It doesn't matter how big it is, does it?
00:10:30Who are you talking to?
00:10:32Cassandra.
00:10:33Cassandra.
00:10:34Get on that one!
00:10:36Morning, Rogers.
00:10:37Cassandra, what are you doing discussing our private life with him?
00:10:40I don't care.
00:10:41This will be all over the nags head by dinner time.
00:10:42That's the thanks I get.
00:10:43I thought you'd be used to it by now.
00:10:44They've cleared this place up yet, have they?
00:10:45No, it's not a lot of point.
00:10:46I've heard they're expecting another riot.
00:10:47They reckon anything could set it off.
00:10:48I heard they're thinking of twinning, have they?
00:10:49What are you doing discussing our private life with him?
00:10:51What are you doing discussing our private life with him?
00:10:52I don't care.
00:10:53This will be all over the nags head by dinner time.
00:10:54That's the thanks I get.
00:10:55I thought you'd be used to it by now.
00:10:56Thee!
00:10:57Thee!
00:11:02Cleared this place up yet, have they?
00:11:05Yeah, that's not a lot of point.
00:11:06I've heard they're expecting another riot.
00:11:08They reckon anything could set it off.
00:11:10I've heard they're thinking of twinning this place with Jurassic Park.
00:11:16Oh, holy hell.
00:11:18You wanna go somewhere with that too?
00:11:19I go everywhere with it, don't I?
00:11:20Stuck in me bloody head.
00:11:22I meant the dentist.
00:11:26Yes, yes, yes, I will.
00:11:30Can I switch the radio on?
00:11:32Yeah, go on.
00:11:33It's alright.
00:11:42Do you know this is Raquel's most favourite number?
00:11:45Yeah.
00:11:47Can I switch it up?
00:11:49Oh, no, leave it.
00:11:52Yeah.
00:11:55Every time I hear this number, you know, it always reminds me of my Raquel.
00:12:01Yeah, go on, switch it off.
00:12:05There you go, Denzel.
00:12:07One bowl of piping hot porridge.
00:12:09They'll warm you up on a cold morning.
00:12:11Cheers, Sid.
00:12:13There's a hair in this.
00:12:15Is it?
00:12:18There's another one.
00:12:22That's disgusting, that is, Sid.
00:12:27If the health authorities saw this, they'd close you down.
00:12:30I've been closed down for a lot worse than that, Denzel.
00:12:33I hate these politically correct people.
00:12:35Yeah.
00:12:36What do you have, Intrigue?
00:12:38I'll try some of that porridge.
00:12:39All right, Dents?
00:12:50Two, two, Sid.
00:12:52All right, Dave.
00:12:56Don't have the porridge, Rodney.
00:12:57I've just found hairs in mine.
00:12:59It was only two hairs.
00:13:01That's enough, isn't it?
00:13:02Maybe there's a sparring in it.
00:13:07So how's it going, Del?
00:13:09You got all your Christmas presents?
00:13:10No, not yet.
00:13:11Damien wants a pet.
00:13:13I didn't think the council allowed pets.
00:13:15No, only a little one, you know, like a rabbit or a guinea pig or something like that.
00:13:19How's it going, Del?
00:13:20Don't ask, Trig.
00:13:22Things still the same, eh?
00:13:23Yeah, still giving me strife.
00:13:25Yeah, it's a bitch, isn't it?
00:13:28Well, that's strong in it a bit, Trig.
00:13:30No, you're too soft, Del.
00:13:32I've been in exactly the same boat as you have.
00:13:34You know what I've done?
00:13:35I got a shot of it.
00:13:37Hey, look, Trig, it's not as simple as just get shot of it.
00:13:40Why?
00:13:41They all love it.
00:13:43Well, a strong bond exists, doesn't it, Del?
00:13:45That's right.
00:13:45We've been together a long time.
00:13:47And you're just going to get more and more aggro.
00:13:49I know how you feel.
00:13:51You become attached to them.
00:13:52Give them little pet names.
00:13:53I've done it.
00:13:54Take my advice, Del.
00:13:55Get down to the dentist and have it out.
00:14:00Oh, two.
00:14:01It's best in the long run, Del.
00:14:04Try my dentist.
00:14:05It's good.
00:14:06I've been going to him for years.
00:14:07Yeah, yeah, all right.
00:14:08I might try that, Trig.
00:14:10Trig, we were talking about Del and Raquel.
00:14:13You still rowing?
00:14:14Well, you're never there to find out, are you?
00:14:16No.
00:14:18You're still talking to me, unfortunately.
00:14:20I'll never understand the workings of a woman's mind.
00:14:25I suppose that's why I gave up trying in the end.
00:14:29Yeah.
00:14:30Who was that bird I used to go out with?
00:14:33Which one?
00:14:35What was her name?
00:14:38What's your little name?
00:14:39Redhead.
00:14:40Ah, one of the redheads.
00:14:42Pauline.
00:14:43No, no, no.
00:14:44Bear a name from Woolworths?
00:14:46No.
00:14:46Janine.
00:14:47Who are her?
00:14:48Marion.
00:14:49Where's Marion?
00:14:50I want one.
00:14:52You met her up at the cat for dog track.
00:14:53You bought her a ring.
00:14:56Oh, yeah.
00:14:57No, not her.
00:14:58No, no, no.
00:14:58The one I'm thinking about, what was her name?
00:15:00Her dad was a tattooist.
00:15:02She had this tattoo of a heart with a dagger going through it on her five.
00:15:08Don't ring a bell.
00:15:09Well, you would have only been about two.
00:15:12What was her name?
00:15:13She worked in the betting shop down Lewisham Grove.
00:15:15Letting shop down Lewisham Grove.
00:15:20Well, it don't matter.
00:15:22I went out with her for about, must have been a month.
00:15:26Actually, she was going steady with another bloke at the time, but it didn't worry me.
00:15:30Made it more exciting.
00:15:32Well, she was a sporting girl.
00:15:34You know, good all-rounder.
00:15:36You know what I mean?
00:15:36Well, I'd save back me money, right, to take her on holiday.
00:15:42But it's going to be really exotic.
00:15:43The holiday of a lifetime.
00:15:45When all of a sudden, right out of the blue, for no reason, she packed me in.
00:15:50And yet the night before, I'd taken her home to meet my mum and dad for the first time.
00:15:56So, the next day, I went down to the betting shop.
00:16:05You know, they have a chat with her, take her out for lunch and all that.
00:16:07And they said that she weren't there.
00:16:10But I knew that she was, because I saw her crash helmet hanging up on the hook.
00:16:15So, I went and looked for her.
00:16:16You know where I found her?
00:16:18She was hiding on the roof.
00:16:20She said she was sunbathing.
00:16:21Well, maybe she was sunbathing.
00:16:24No, it was a sloping roof.
00:16:26And there she was, with her back against the tiles and her stilettos jammed in the gutter.
00:16:34She nearly fell off twice.
00:16:37Well, anyway, that was Dad.
00:16:40Oh, blimey, what was her name?
00:16:45Did you get your money back on the holiday?
00:16:49You know what these caravan sights are like, don't you?
00:16:56I'm all ready.
00:16:58Ready, three blinds.
00:17:15Del boy?
00:17:17Oh, Rudders, what are you doing here?
00:17:19Well, I had a couple of hours to kill, so I said to Cass, I popped down to the club and see Del.
00:17:23Oh, right.
00:17:24Here, Miguel.
00:17:25There you are.
00:17:26That lager top, please.
00:17:29You're drinking a lot of scotch these days?
00:17:31Yeah, well, it's the only thing that dulls the pain, isn't it?
00:17:35Talk to her, Del.
00:17:36There's nothing that can't be sorted by talking it out.
00:17:39I'm not talking about Raquel, I'm talking about my bloody tooth.
00:17:44Well, go to the dentist.
00:17:45I don't like dentists.
00:17:46Well, then let it go rotten and get septicemia.
00:17:48Look, shut up moaning, will you?
00:17:50I've come here to psych myself up for the game and you do nothing but lecture me.
00:17:53It's like playing poker with Neil Kinnock.
00:17:57Here on.
00:17:59Del boy?
00:18:01Rodney?
00:18:02How's it going, boysie?
00:18:04Life is one long uphill struggle at the moment, Derek.
00:18:07The second-hand car business is in its biggest slump since, well, since the last one.
00:18:12Me and Marley could only afford one week's holiday in Barbados this year.
00:18:17Oh, that's terrible, isn't it?
00:18:19Please, don't go on about it.
00:18:21You know how easy I cry.
00:18:23I'll have to hold a whip for him.
00:18:25Can I count the lashes?
00:18:28Look, I happen to believe that everyone has the right to expect a certain standard of living.
00:18:33I mean, it's all right for you coming from that council estate.
00:18:37You know, sometimes I almost envy you.
00:18:40Not often, I must admit.
00:18:42It's nothing with all the problems you've got.
00:18:45We ain't got no problems.
00:18:47Raquel and I are just going through a sticky patch, that's all.
00:18:49When I mention problems, I was referring to that riot the other night.
00:18:54I hear they went through the whole estate looking for any halfway decent car and then setting fire to it.
00:18:59You're all three-wheel then, all right?
00:19:01Was it, Del boy?
00:19:02Yes, thank you, Boise.
00:19:04They didn't lay a finger on you.
00:19:06Well, that's a godsend at least.
00:19:08Only because I know the leader of the rioters.
00:19:12Terrible, though, anyway.
00:19:13The way they set fire to their own people's property when there's a very big car site just up the road.
00:19:18That's Boise's car site, Derek.
00:19:21Oh, is it, Rodney?
00:19:23Well, let's hope someone does not suggest that to the rioters.
00:19:26Hey, bro.
00:19:28Miguel, can you get my friends a drink?
00:19:31Same again, please.
00:19:32I'll put it on my account.
00:19:34Well, I must be off.
00:19:35Lots of luck, eh?
00:19:37Yeah, cheers, Boise.
00:19:41Miguel.
00:19:41Miguel.
00:19:41Miguel.
00:19:41Miguel.
00:19:48I don't know about my teeth.
00:19:55I think my eyes need testing.
00:20:00I turned around a bit quick just then, and I thought right said Fred had just walked in.
00:20:15Good night.
00:20:16Good night.
00:20:18Aren't you going to have a bit?
00:20:31No, I'm not.
00:20:32It's a mug's game.
00:20:34And it dawned on you yet that the only one who wins is the casino owner?
00:20:39Sorry, what were you saying?
00:20:41Yeah, all right.
00:20:42I saw you were lucky.
00:20:43Well, you've won now, so let's go home.
00:20:45Hey, no, don't talk wet.
00:20:46I'm on a roll.
00:20:47Play the evens.
00:20:50Bill, will you spare one moment's fault for Raquel?
00:20:53Who do you think I'm doing this for, Rodney?
00:20:55I'm doing this for her and Damien.
00:20:58Rodney, I couldn't say anything before because I didn't want the word to get out.
00:21:01It's been very delicate, but I'm trying to put down a big deal with Ronnie Nelson.
00:21:05So what are you doing down here at the one-to-one club most nights?
00:21:08Because he owns it, doesn't he?
00:21:09He don't come in before one o'clock in the morning, so I've got to hang about, have a word with him.
00:21:13I can't let this deal slip through my fingers, Rodney.
00:21:18Tell you what it is.
00:21:20650 handheld camcorders.
00:21:24Made in Russia.
00:21:26Russian camcorders.
00:21:27I don't think they went in for all that you-been frame cobblers.
00:21:32No, no, no.
00:21:33They're ex-military.
00:21:34They've got night vision on them and everything.
00:21:36We are going to buy 650 Russian army camcorders.
00:21:41Yeah, with a bit of luck.
00:21:42895 quid.
00:21:46You're going to pay 895 pounds for a camera?
00:21:49No, no, no, no.
00:21:50895 quid for the lot.
00:21:54Well, they sound very classy.
00:21:56State of the arts.
00:21:57Bertie Red.
00:22:01Aren't you going to have a bet?
00:22:02Mum.
00:22:04Look, try and look at it from Raquel's point of view, Del.
00:22:07Well, she's in that flat night after night with Horatio and his tales of a sea.
00:22:12And you're down here drinking and gambling.
00:22:14Oh, no.
00:22:15Does she appreciate it?
00:22:16No.
00:22:17No, she does not.
00:22:21Honestly.
00:22:22She thinks I'm out every night enjoying myself.
00:22:25Here, sue me, darling.
00:22:26Same again, please.
00:22:28That's the trouble with women, Rodney.
00:22:30They change.
00:22:31And they expect you to change with them.
00:22:33Well, she wanted me to become a pipe and slippers man, you know, having a cup of tea and a biscuit and watching Family Fortunes.
00:22:40Well, stuff that for a game of toy soldiers.
00:22:42But don't get me wrong.
00:22:44I'm not averse to a cup of tarjeeling and an ob-nob, but there is a time and a place for everything.
00:22:49No.
00:22:51I live life on the tightrope.
00:22:53And I enjoy the company of my mates, and I don't see why I should change just because I've met Raquel.
00:22:57And who are your mates, Del?
00:22:59Boycey, the Freemason.
00:23:01A total snob who thinks anyone who's got a pound less than him is a peasant.
00:23:06Denzel is a man who eats porridge with a wig in it.
00:23:09And then what you've triggered?
00:23:11A road sweeper who gives pet names to his teeth.
00:23:16They're still me mates.
00:23:19I'm not like you, Rodders.
00:23:21Del boy is not for turning.
00:23:23What's that supposed to mean?
00:23:24Marriage ain't changed me.
00:23:26Quit as, Rodney.
00:23:27I've seen you and that Cassandra.
00:23:29She's into this conservation malarkey, and so is Rodney as well.
00:23:33I have not changed, Del.
00:23:35When I make my mind up about something, nothing can alter it.
00:23:38140 pieces, sir, thank you.
00:23:40We'll stick with even, shall we?
00:23:43I'm going to go and get some chips.
00:23:44Come on.
00:23:58Raids.
00:23:59Raids.
00:24:00Raids.
00:24:01Excuse me, Del.
00:24:02I'm afraid Ronnie won't be in now.
00:24:04I'll leave a message for him.
00:24:05No.
00:24:06Well, I think.
00:24:07Thanks.
00:24:07Thanks.
00:24:07Thanks.
00:24:07Thanks.
00:24:07Thanks.
00:24:07Thanks.
00:24:07Thanks.
00:24:07Thanks.
00:24:07Thanks.
00:24:08Thanks.
00:24:09Thanks.
00:24:09Thanks.
00:24:11Thanks.
00:24:11Thanks.
00:24:11Thanks.
00:24:14Come on, Rodney.
00:24:16Let's go home.
00:24:17Well, hang on.
00:24:17The ball ain't landing, Jack.
00:24:2017 black.
00:24:23Shit.
00:24:24Oi.
00:24:25How much you lose?
00:24:2750.
00:24:29You plonker.
00:24:32I wouldn't have gambled at all if you haven't encouraged me.
00:24:36Oi, oi, oi!
00:24:36Don't blame me.
00:24:38What'd you come in here for anyway if you didn't want to flutter?
00:24:41Oh, I'll tell you what, shall I?
00:24:42Cassandra suggested I come down here oh yeah why so as we can get you on a
00:24:47decent hour we are trying to save your relationship with Raquel you've been
00:24:52falling in a past one two o'clock in the morning and it is not on Bell it's eight
00:25:02o'clock in the morning this is all your fault don't be yes you you you you kept
00:25:08me talking in there oh yeah I know what's he doing all the gambling well you were
00:25:12doing your fair share God blimey I could have been home hours ago if it weren't
00:25:15for you you really dropped me in it this time Rodney
00:25:20we could be down a market enough now listen I know what you're thinking I
00:25:24know what you're thinking cuz I could read your minds you're thinking what do I
00:25:27want with all this ski equipment right no mountains in Peckham absolutely true now
00:25:32in a few months time you yourself may decide to take an alpine holiday now due
00:25:37to my unique style of bulk buying you can go togged out in the latest up-to-the-minute
00:25:44fashion at bargain basement prices now I'm going to show you how stylish this gear
00:25:50is because it's being modeled now by my younger brother Rodney
00:25:55and quilted in natural nylon now this jacket alone would set you back about 120 quid at
00:26:10Lily White's but this can be yours for a mere 35 pounds and it comes in all sizes now
00:26:16all this equipment here is manufactured by the one country that leads the world in
00:26:21alpine clothing namely Fiji
00:26:26just a moment please probably the Austrian Olympic squad wanting to increase
00:26:33their order hello Trotters independent traders a PLC Arctic clothing department
00:26:38all right Dave
00:26:41Rodney it's Cassandra
00:26:45Cass I told you never found me at work
00:26:52what now
00:26:55Cass I can't I'm in the middle
00:26:58yeah yes
00:27:01all right
00:27:02yeah we've got to shoot off Cassie needs me at home
00:27:07what for
00:27:08mine's probably the right time
00:27:12oh come on Rodney she'll keep till this evening
00:27:15nice
00:27:16well you know
00:27:17she's most probably at the right time pre-chart
00:27:23stone me Rodney what are you two trying for a baby or a barbecue
00:27:28well go go go now hurry up here don't you want to change your clothes
00:27:37oh look at that
00:27:41Cass Simone
00:27:43I'm in here Rodney
00:27:44all right
00:27:45it won't be a minute
00:27:48sorry about that Raquel I was
00:28:03I was hot
00:28:06what are you doing here
00:28:07she's left down
00:28:09left him why
00:28:10do you know what time he got in this morning
00:28:14no
00:28:15quarter past eight
00:28:18get away
00:28:20changed into his working clothes and went straight down the market
00:28:23he didn't even stop for a cup of tea
00:28:25well that was the last straw he's not treating me like that anymore
00:28:28look you've got to look at it from his point of view Raquel
00:28:31there are extenuating circumstances
00:28:33like what
00:28:35well he's having a lot of trouble with his teeth
00:28:38that's no excuse
00:28:40no no but he is in pain
00:28:41so am I Rodney so am I
00:28:44well where are you going to go
00:28:45I said they could stay here
00:28:47here
00:28:48well this is a one bedroom flat
00:28:50well this is a sofa bed
00:28:52I won't be here for long
00:28:53a couple of nights that's all
00:28:54is that okay with you
00:28:56yeah
00:28:57yeah of course
00:28:58good
00:29:00I'll make us a cup of something
00:29:02I'll help
00:29:04here we go gentlemen
00:29:28is that right Del
00:29:31just a lemonade for you
00:29:32yeah that's right
00:29:34yeah I'm going down there visit
00:29:35treats dentists at noon
00:29:36I don't want to smell of booze
00:29:37so how are things on the home front
00:29:40you and Raquel still at pistols drawn are you
00:29:42yeah still involved in a cold war
00:29:44but I'm going to live my life the way I want to live it
00:29:48give her time she'll learn
00:29:49that's exactly the attitude I took with my Kareem
00:29:52even when she left me I refused to change
00:29:55seven years ago but I haven't changed
00:29:59yeah but there is a difference in there
00:30:01down to the way
00:30:02I mean you know
00:30:02Raquel would never leave me
00:30:04because it's the real deep love thing
00:30:07women are a mystery though aren't they
00:30:09what hard to
00:30:11here's a mystery for you
00:30:12here's a bit
00:30:13answer me this
00:30:14why is it that women always want to know
00:30:16what time you got in
00:30:17right they say to you
00:30:18what time did you get in last night
00:30:20and you say oh I don't know
00:30:20back what past 12
00:30:21and they say no you didn't
00:30:23it was 20 to 2
00:30:24I think to themselves
00:30:26well why bloody ask
00:30:27it's right
00:30:28it's right
00:30:29why ask
00:30:29I mean it's like saying to you
00:30:31what's that on the telly
00:30:32Coronation Street or EastEnders
00:30:34and you say it's EastEnders
00:30:35and they say no it ain't
00:30:37it's Coronation Street
00:30:38I mean why ask
00:30:39why ask
00:30:40it's me
00:30:41you know I came home one night
00:30:43and my missus said here
00:30:44where you living now
00:30:45I said here
00:30:46she said no you ain't
00:30:48threw me suitcase at me
00:30:49why ask
00:30:51why ask
00:30:53I mean that's women for you aren't it
00:31:00I mean they're a different breed
00:31:02take my Marlene
00:31:03she's always moaning on and on
00:31:05about how I don't respect her
00:31:07I mean me
00:31:07don't respect me own wife
00:31:09daft old mare
00:31:11I mean I love her
00:31:14don't get me wrong
00:31:15but sometimes I think
00:31:16getting married was the worst mistake
00:31:17I ever made in my life
00:31:19I sometimes think back to when we first met
00:31:22in Lewisham Grove
00:31:23I wish I'd never ever walked into that
00:31:26betting shop now
00:31:27I remember something very important I meant to tell you
00:31:42what's that
00:31:43it's gone now
00:31:44oh that's alright Denzel happens to me all the time
00:31:47see I was just going to say something important to Del and it's gone now
00:31:53so how'd it turn out there Mike
00:31:57huh
00:31:58Coronation Street or EastEnders
00:32:03as long as it weren't El Dorado we can all sleep easy
00:32:08well alright aren't any messages for me
00:32:13yeah that bloke phoned about the video cameras and someone come round moaning about a pair of ski pads
00:32:20oh
00:32:21and Raquel's left ya
00:32:23they just don't believe it
00:32:29I have never
00:32:30never had a woman walk out on me like that
00:32:33miss you eh
00:32:34who
00:32:35all of them
00:32:36yeah they didn't have my child with them did they
00:32:40look Del
00:32:44I feel a bit embarrassed about Raquel staying at the flat and that
00:32:48but what could I do
00:32:49I couldn't refuse could I
00:32:50no of course not bruv
00:32:52no you couldn't see him turned out in the street could ya
00:32:55now you look after him
00:32:57I'll see you're alright for some money
00:32:58oh don't be silly
00:32:59no no
00:33:00no come on straight
00:33:01I appreciate what you're doing
00:33:02look Del
00:33:03I reckon all it would take is one phone call
00:33:06and you two would be back together in no time
00:33:08it'll just take one word
00:33:10sorry
00:33:11no I think you're right Rodney
00:33:18alright get her to phone me and apologise
00:33:21and I'll
00:33:21I was talking about you
00:33:24me what have I done
00:33:26Raquel hardly ever sees you
00:33:29you treat that flat like a lodging house
00:33:31she told me you walked into the bedroom one night
00:33:34and Damien screamed
00:33:35thought you was an intruder
00:33:36that is a little rubbish
00:33:38that is
00:33:38look I've been under a lot of stress lately
00:33:41what with you know business deals and all that
00:33:43well I explained to her
00:33:44I said Del's been under a lot of pressure
00:33:46what with business
00:33:47and his teeth going manky
00:33:49exactly
00:33:50what with
00:33:50my teeth are not going manky
00:33:52they just need looking at it at all
00:33:53well get in there and have them looked at then
00:33:55I don't like dentists
00:33:58oh god it's like the Milky Bar key
00:34:00alright I'll tell you what we do
00:34:01alright
00:34:01look
00:34:02we'll go down to Ronnie Nelson's
00:34:04and pick up the cameras
00:34:05then we'll come back here
00:34:06and I'll go to the dentists
00:34:08no
00:34:08you go to the dentist now
00:34:10and then we'll pick up the cameras
00:34:12I'll go on
00:34:14get in there
00:34:14are you coming with me
00:34:20no
00:34:26I'm going to have a kip in the vein
00:34:28wait
00:34:29wait
00:34:30Rodney I'm going to get you
00:34:32I'm sorry to interrupt
00:34:40Mrs Patel just rang
00:34:42to cancel her four o'clock appointment
00:34:43thank you Beverly
00:34:44that's the one
00:34:46you know that
00:34:48help yourself to the
00:34:50hmm
00:34:51no it's all
00:34:53do you have regular dental checks Mr Trotter
00:35:07oh yes doctor
00:35:09you can't be too careful
00:35:09where the old choppers are concerned
00:35:11and who was the last dentist you saw
00:35:14last one that would be
00:35:16Mr Owens
00:35:17had a surgery down on Gandy Avenue
00:35:19Mr Owens
00:35:19he died
00:35:22on the night of the Queen's Silver Jubilee
00:35:24in 1977
00:35:25it was tragic wasn't it
00:35:27so you have a regular check up
00:35:30every 16 years
00:35:32yeah I think it's better in the long run
00:35:34don't you
00:35:35yeah
00:35:36yeah
00:35:37that tooth of yours
00:35:39is beyond repair Mr Trotter
00:35:41I'll have to come out
00:35:42oh it's good to come out
00:35:43alright
00:35:43well I'll make an appointment
00:35:44see you next week
00:35:45alright
00:35:45no I'll do it now
00:35:46now
00:35:47don't worry
00:35:48you won't feel a thing
00:35:50this will just make one side of your face a bit numb
00:35:54oh you see
00:35:56but the thing is
00:35:56you know
00:35:57I'm in a bit of a hurry
00:35:58well it'll take five minutes
00:35:59but my brother's out there in the van
00:36:02just a little brick
00:36:03well you know him then do you
00:36:06there we are
00:36:24now
00:36:26if you'd like to sit in the waiting room for a while
00:36:29if you look at the anaesthetic time to work
00:36:31I'll call you in five minutes
00:36:32thank you doctor
00:36:35Mrs Marshall
00:36:41you can go through now
00:36:42just got to wait for this jollip to work
00:36:52yeah it doesn't take too long
00:36:54perhaps we could complete this form while you're waiting
00:36:57it's just for new patients
00:37:00I got most of your details
00:37:01well then let me see
00:37:04next to kin
00:37:07next to kin
00:37:08blimey I'm only having me tooth out
00:37:10oh it's just local health authority procedure
00:37:13I ain't got no next to kin
00:37:17what no one
00:37:18what is my brother
00:37:21have you got any dependents
00:37:23yeah my brother
00:37:24yeah I got a son
00:37:46ah that's better
00:37:48it's Damien
00:37:50Damien Derrick Trotter
00:37:52oh my daughter's got a little boy called that
00:37:55you're not Damien Derrick Trotter
00:37:57no
00:37:58just Damien
00:38:00you're having me on
00:38:02you've got a grandson
00:38:03yeah
00:38:04never
00:38:05must have had your daughter
00:38:07very very young
00:38:08I'll put you down as
00:38:10um
00:38:11wait on
00:38:12late twenties
00:38:13oh get off
00:38:15I'll be honest
00:38:17straight out
00:38:17so your husband is here now
00:38:22Mr Ellis
00:38:22no I just work here
00:38:25oh
00:38:25so I thought it might be like a family business
00:38:28ain't I
00:38:28no
00:38:29I'm divorced
00:38:31yeah we broke up about
00:38:33we were nine years ago
00:38:35oh really
00:38:36because uh
00:38:38my uh
00:38:39partner
00:38:39she uh
00:38:40you know
00:38:40she left me
00:38:41oh I'm sorry
00:38:43you know people say
00:38:45time's a great healer
00:38:47I'm not so sure
00:38:49even now
00:38:50I sometimes think about
00:38:51those days and
00:38:52well
00:38:53it still hurts
00:38:54you know
00:38:55yes I know the feeling
00:38:56I still get these little pains
00:38:59when did your relationship
00:39:01break up
00:39:01this morning
00:39:02actually maybe
00:39:07we ought to go out
00:39:08with each other
00:39:09you know
00:39:09and cry on each other's shoulders
00:39:10now
00:39:13there is a rat
00:39:14in the van
00:39:14you what
00:39:16in the van
00:39:17there's a rat
00:39:18a rat
00:39:19in the van
00:39:20what are you on about
00:39:22I'm trying to inform you
00:39:24that there is a rat
00:39:25in the van
00:39:26it's not a rat
00:39:28it's a gerbil
00:39:31all right
00:39:33so there's a gerbil
00:39:34in the van
00:39:34oh no
00:39:36I've got it for Christmas
00:39:37for Christmas
00:39:39for Damien
00:39:44yes
00:39:45it's one of his presents
00:39:46Jerry the gerbil
00:39:48I had it in the cage
00:39:49in the back of the van
00:39:50the door must have come open
00:39:51or something
00:39:52I don't know
00:39:52go and put it back
00:39:54in the cage
00:39:55huh
00:39:56go and put the gerbil
00:40:00back in the cage
00:40:02dependents
00:40:12no my boy
00:40:14you know
00:40:15he wanted a pet
00:40:16for Christmas
00:40:16so I got him Jerry the gerbil
00:40:18so what about it Beverly
00:40:21sorry
00:40:22you mean
00:40:24having a date
00:40:26oh well
00:40:27it's very nice of you
00:40:28but
00:40:29you see the thing is
00:40:31your relationship's
00:40:32only just broken up
00:40:33in a couple of days time
00:40:35you could both be back
00:40:35together again
00:40:36no no I won't
00:40:37no it's finished
00:40:38kaput
00:40:39oh no there's no going back
00:40:40I'm a free agent
00:40:42I'll go where I want
00:40:43and with whom I want
00:40:44okay then
00:40:46lovely jubbly
00:40:49you don't make sense
00:40:51ahem
00:40:53well
00:40:54what about see you
00:40:55this evening then
00:40:56you know
00:40:56by eight o'clock
00:40:57take you out
00:40:58for a slap up meal
00:40:59you know
00:41:00steak
00:41:01onion rings
00:41:03fine
00:41:05that's where I live
00:41:09and that's the telephone number
00:41:10in case anything goes wrong
00:41:11oh
00:41:12oh yeah
00:41:13what's your singing
00:41:14what
00:41:15hmm
00:41:16oh
00:41:17so
00:41:18and the septics
00:41:20being in it
00:41:20and work
00:41:21I'll be with you
00:41:22in a minute
00:41:23hmm
00:41:23all right
00:41:24I'll just
00:41:29shit here
00:41:31all right
00:41:51Russian cameras
00:41:52Del was telling me about
00:41:53no this is a pair of Chelsea boots
00:41:55with an elasticated gusset
00:41:56of course it's about the watching camera
00:41:58all right then
00:42:00how's your mouth Del
00:42:01oh
00:42:02I can't feel a thing
00:42:03brilliant dentist
00:42:04these camcorders are bigger than I imagined
00:42:06yeah
00:42:07they are a bit on the wide side
00:42:09aren't they eh
00:42:10you said they was hand held
00:42:11well you're holding them in your hands aren't you
00:42:13I'm just
00:42:15how are you supposed to carry one of these around Euro Disney on your shoulder
00:42:18you do your backing
00:42:19well that's good for you Rodney
00:42:21good for your strength you see
00:42:22build your strength up won't it eh
00:42:23save you a fortune on all them weights and rowing machines and all that sort of stuff
00:42:27wonder what that writing says on the side there
00:42:30reject mice probably
00:42:32these are not rejects Rodney
00:42:35these are top of the range
00:42:36these are
00:42:37look at them
00:42:38look solid they are
00:42:39no bits of plastic to break off
00:42:41the cassette
00:42:42look at that
00:42:43is inside the camera
00:42:44don't muck about with them soppy little things
00:42:47no
00:42:48this was designed for tank warfare
00:42:50this you know
00:42:51yes
00:42:52look at that
00:42:52can you see them now
00:42:53all right number one
00:42:54fire a shot across his belt
00:42:56Dale
00:42:58yeah
00:42:58I don't fit the machine
00:43:00no I know that
00:43:03I know that they're a different size
00:43:06but there's no problem
00:43:07because Ronnie Nelson
00:43:08he's got a consignment
00:43:09of Russian VCRs
00:43:11coming over next Tuesday
00:43:12from er
00:43:13Volvo Grad
00:43:14so if we actually do
00:43:16find a mercenary
00:43:17who wants to tape his next tank belt
00:43:19to show the wife and kids
00:43:20he's got to buy a Russian VCR off us and all
00:43:23I can't see him queuing for this one
00:43:24Dale
00:43:2595 quid to set
00:43:27can't be bad can it
00:43:28think about it Rodney
00:43:30make money on this
00:43:31and more
00:43:32all you've got to do is fall on your arse
00:43:33and old er
00:43:34Jamie Beadle will give you a grand
00:43:35you going out Dale
00:43:38yes
00:43:38yes I'm going out
00:43:39I've got a date
00:43:40a date?
00:43:42uh huh
00:43:42what do you mean
00:43:43you've got a date?
00:43:44I've got a date
00:43:45I met this woman down at the dentist's
00:43:47taking her out for dinner
00:43:48I don't believe I'm airing this
00:43:51well you've surprised me Dale
00:43:53Raquel and your baby
00:43:55are only just round the corner
00:43:56and you're going out with some young bird
00:43:59she's not a young bird
00:44:00she happens to be a grandmother
00:44:02a grandmother?
00:44:05oh we're probably she can bring her sister along for him
00:44:07she is a very young grandmother
00:44:13sister along
00:44:15don't look at me like that Rodney
00:44:19Raquel was the one who walked out on me
00:44:22you don't know what it's like
00:44:30I'm not an island Rodney
00:44:32no man gets lonely
00:44:35Raquel only left this morning
00:44:37Dale she's left you for longer periods
00:44:42when she's been out shopping
00:44:43yeah I know but it's horrible in here now
00:44:46you've got Albert
00:44:47that's what I mean
00:44:48did you honestly cheat on that
00:44:50two time the mother of your baby
00:44:53oh bonnet the douche
00:44:55I'm only taking her out of Burnie Inn
00:44:57yeah and that can lead to other things can't it
00:45:00yeah like next week
00:45:02I'll take her to a sponge you like
00:45:03you know what I mean
00:45:05did you know that Raquel was crying this afternoon
00:45:09crying?
00:45:13yeah
00:45:13sat on our sofa crying her eyes out
00:45:16because of you
00:45:16poor cow
00:45:19that's what I thought
00:45:22well I'll see you later
00:45:24do enjoy your steak Derek
00:45:26Rodney Rodney all right all
00:45:28all right
00:45:29all right
00:45:30no you've made your point
00:45:31I was only trying to
00:45:33you know
00:45:35see if I could still pull
00:45:36I'll call her and break off the date
00:45:40good
00:45:40and while you've got the phone in your hand
00:45:42give Raquel a call
00:45:43and ask her to come home
00:45:44no way Pedro
00:45:46she wants to come back to this flat
00:45:49she's got to call me
00:45:50oh you kill me
00:45:52Derek
00:45:52I'll see you in the morrow
00:45:53you're doing the right thing Del
00:45:57it was a bad move
00:45:59yeah I suspect you're right
00:46:01pity really
00:46:03she fancied one of these cameras
00:46:05and all
00:46:06hi this is Beverly
00:46:16can't come to the phone right now
00:46:18but if you'd like to leave a message
00:46:20after the turn
00:46:21I'll get back to you
00:46:22no
00:46:23uh
00:46:24yeah
00:46:25hello Beverly
00:46:26she's Del boy
00:46:28um
00:46:29thing is I can't make our date tonight
00:46:32um
00:46:34you know I'm sorry
00:46:35I'll
00:46:36give you a call another time
00:46:37all right
00:46:38yeah
00:46:39bonjour
00:46:40I'll pour us a drink Del
00:46:44yeah wish I had a dog or a cat
00:46:46you got that gerbil
00:46:49yeah but I feel like kicking something up the arse
00:46:51he was doing what
00:46:58shh
00:46:58I was in there
00:46:59he was going out with another woman
00:47:02he was frightening too
00:47:03he was all dressed up
00:47:05he looked like a heartthrob out of Crossroads
00:47:07do you think he's going through a midlife crisis
00:47:10you know dressing up
00:47:11trying to attract young girls
00:47:12nah
00:47:13that was the case
00:47:14and Del's male menopause started when he was 14
00:47:17anyway she's not a young girl
00:47:19she's a grandmother
00:47:20a grandmother
00:47:22shh
00:47:23he met her at the dentists
00:47:25I don't think much would have happened on their date anyway
00:47:28and her mum's probably sat in a burny ink out in her teeth
00:47:31why doesn't he just phone Raquel
00:47:34they're obviously both missing each other
00:47:36oh it's his pride isn't it
00:47:37he is the man
00:47:38and must be seen to be the man
00:47:40he's never had a very modern attitude towards women and relationships
00:47:43when he was younger Del's idea of safe sex was not telling a girl where he lived
00:47:48it's funny but in them days Del used to be my hero
00:47:54Del?
00:47:56you're joking
00:47:57oh I could tell you things about Del boy that would amaze you
00:48:00go on then
00:48:01amaze me
00:48:03well there's
00:48:04yeah there was a time he took his O levels
00:48:07I was only a little sprog but I still remember the night he brought his results home
00:48:11he'd got eight A's
00:48:13eight A's?
00:48:16Del?
00:48:16yeah
00:48:16A for English
00:48:17A for Math
00:48:18so this just went on
00:48:19wait a minute
00:48:20they were someone else's results weren't they?
00:48:22no
00:48:22no they were Del's results
00:48:23I remember my mum and dad was all excited
00:48:26we had a big family celebration
00:48:28aunties
00:48:29uncles
00:48:29the lot
00:48:30Del was tossing up where to go
00:48:32you know
00:48:33Oxford or Cambridge
00:48:34he phoned up both universities
00:48:36made a few inquiries
00:48:37what the pubs are like that sort of thing
00:48:40I can't imagine Del getting eight A's
00:48:43no
00:48:44he surprised everyone
00:48:45then a couple of days later we got a letter from the school
00:48:49turned out the A's all stood for absent
00:48:53you haven't turned up for any of the exams?
00:48:56no
00:48:56not one
00:48:57he'd been down the market flogging some hocky Tom Jones help putty
00:49:01mind you you wouldn't have laughed you'd been there at the time
00:49:05my dad went putty
00:49:06he was shouting at Del
00:49:08calling him names
00:49:09Del was ducking round the room trying to escape
00:49:13then it all turned violent
00:49:16he'd been out drinking you see
00:49:19he took his belt off
00:49:21he started whacking him
00:49:23punching him
00:49:24everything
00:49:24that's what he was like
00:49:27me mum was screaming
00:49:29don't hit him
00:49:30don't hit him
00:49:30and I was crying
00:49:31oh god
00:49:33poor Rodney
00:49:35was he hurt?
00:49:39not too bad
00:49:39he was in hospital for a couple of days
00:49:42me mum took me up to visit him
00:49:44what happened to your father?
00:49:48I'm talking about me father
00:49:49oh wow
00:49:50I thought you meant Del
00:49:52oh no he was alright
00:49:54he was a dirty little fighter
00:49:56he used to go in low and grab him
00:49:58I've seen him in so many fights over the years
00:50:01I've heard sounds that only a white hunter could make sense of
00:50:05I suppose that's why he was my hero
00:50:08because from that day onwards
00:50:10me dad never whacked me again
00:50:12he was too frightened of what Del would do to him if he found out
00:50:15so that's how my life went on
00:50:19as long as Del was around
00:50:21no one could do me any harm
00:50:22of course he made up for that in later life
00:50:25how are you feeling?
00:50:44well you know
00:50:44I'll give it a go
00:50:46ooh that's nice
00:50:51now don't bite me
00:50:54you know how easily I bruise
00:50:55Rodney
00:51:03hmm?
00:51:04no
00:51:11just wandered in
00:51:16wandered in
00:51:17Cassandra
00:51:19I locked
00:51:19the bedroom door
00:51:20why have I come in?
00:51:31I didn't lock the door
00:51:32there you are
00:51:34why isn't he looking everywhere for you?
00:51:36sorry about this
00:51:37it's alright
00:51:38I don't know
00:51:39he sleeps all day and only comes alive at night
00:51:42so I'm not telling Uncle Rodney and Aunty Cassandra
00:51:47night
00:51:47night
00:51:49night Damien
00:51:50what do you think, ma'am?
00:51:56leave it till tomorrow, shall we?
00:51:58yeah
00:51:58look, what's wrong?
00:52:04endangered species
00:52:05do you realise what's happening to the quake, Mike?
00:52:07listen, uh
00:52:09Del's been eating the sauce a bit heavy lately
00:52:12just keep an eye on there, isn't it?
00:52:13yeah, I understand
00:52:14leave it to me, Rodney
00:52:15look, all I'm asking for is 50p
00:52:18what happens when you save all these whales?
00:52:21they'll start breeding, will they?
00:52:22well, I won't be surprised
00:52:23I don't know how anyone could fancy a whale
00:52:26do you?
00:52:27no, I don't
00:52:30big ugly things, don't they?
00:52:31no, look, you haven't got a breed with them
00:52:34they can sort that sort of thing out for themselves
00:52:35I know a lot more about the sea than you, Rodney
00:52:38God, here we go
00:52:40you'd be surprised how quickly these whales breed
00:52:43I'm afraid
00:52:44and they're not all as gentle as some people imagine
00:52:46true
00:52:47you get a lot of them together, they can be quite dangerous
00:52:50well, during the war
00:52:52we have been
00:52:53I was in the submarine up in the Barents Sea and we got attacked by a whale
00:52:58well, it's most probably just trying to protect its young, Albert
00:53:01no, it wasn't
00:53:03it fancied us
00:53:05a whale got the hots for your submarine
00:53:07yeah, liable
00:53:09we're shaking all over the place
00:53:11like your worst nightmare, isn't it, Dave?
00:53:14no, my worst nightmare was sitting in the pub having a conversation with you two
00:53:18mmm
00:53:23we've been on for about half hour
00:53:25Skipper told us to hang on to dear life and don't do anything to annoy it
00:53:30he put the periscope up at one point
00:53:33up where?
00:53:36he looked through the viewfinder and went as white as a sheet
00:53:39God knows what he saw
00:53:41but that man never had alibut again
00:53:48so what'd you do when it was over?
00:53:50all lie back and have a cigarette?
00:53:52don't take the mickey out of me, Rodney
00:53:55have you ever tried to lay an underwater telephone line during the mating season?
00:53:59no, no, I haven't
00:54:00well, my advice to you, son, is don't ever attempt it
00:54:04if you want to listen to him, Dave, he knows what he's talking about
00:54:08alright, brothers
00:54:09thought I'd hear myself say this, but here comes a man with some intelligence
00:54:13here, listen, you gonna give a couple of bob for charity?
00:54:15yeah, you know me
00:54:16anything for a good cause?
00:54:18what's this?
00:54:19he's trying to save Wales
00:54:20oh no, no, no, no, no, they don't get nothing
00:54:23not half the way they beat us at rugby last year
00:54:29yeah, fair enough
00:54:30so, how's Cassandra?
00:54:32is she pregnant yet?
00:54:33don't like there to be either with that little git standing in the bottom of the bed
00:54:37what little git's that?
00:54:38erm, oh, so, erm, yes, Cassandra, she's got this big teddy bear
00:54:44she's had it since she was a kid, you know, and it sort of sits at the bottom of the bed
00:54:47puts me off
00:54:48you're silly mare
00:54:49how would she like it if you had your Meccano set at the bottom of the bed, eh?
00:54:53yeah, alright
00:54:54well, don't go on about it
00:54:55it's personal
00:54:56it's something that you...
00:55:03see you later, tree
00:55:06alright
00:55:07how's, erm, Damien and Raquel?
00:55:09alright
00:55:10playing Damien up London tomorrow, show him the sights
00:55:13apparently his daddy's always been a bit too busy to do it himself
00:55:15this he is too busy
00:55:17he's too busy out there earning the poppy to pay for the grub and the underfloor heating
00:55:23still crying, is she?
00:55:24yes
00:55:25all through yesterday afternoon and then all through tea time
00:55:30are you getting on your nerves?
00:55:32I'll tell you what's getting on your nerves, shall I?
00:55:34you are missing Raquel and Damien
00:55:36and Damien and Raquel are missing you
00:55:38but nobody, it seems, nobody has the intelligence to sort out a problem
00:55:42I told you, all she's got to do is phone me
00:55:45but she doesn't know how you feel
00:55:47she thinks you want a life of shanting it up with your mates and going to casinos
00:55:52she doesn't realise it was just a phase while you were putting a deal together
00:55:55because you never told her
00:55:56yeah, well I had to play it close to my chest, didn't I?
00:55:59I didn't want words slipping out
00:56:00but she don't know that
00:56:01yeah, well that, you know, and what with my tooth and...
00:56:04no, no, you've had that out
00:56:05Del, phone her and tell her
00:56:07what, I've had my tooth out?
00:56:09no, phone her and tell her that you...
00:56:12oh, tell her what you're bloody like, just phone her
00:56:15alright, just phone her
00:56:16alright, Rodney, I'll give her a bell
00:56:18hey, Adele, large scotch on the house
00:56:21oh, cheers
00:56:22alright, what are you doing?
00:56:23don't I give him large scotches on the house?
00:56:26oh, I'm sorry, Rodney, I forgot
00:56:28Adele, that's 185, son
00:56:30I didn't even ask for it
00:56:35oh, hello
00:56:39hello, sweetheart
00:56:40listen, don't say a word
00:56:41just, don't say anything
00:56:42just, just listen to me while I'm in the mood
00:56:45right?
00:56:47now, I'm missing you, darling
00:56:48and I want you to come home
00:56:50now, I know that I haven't been very fair to you in the past
00:56:53but
00:56:54look, I can explain if you just give me the chance
00:56:58I love you and
00:57:00and that will never change
00:57:02things will be different in the future
00:57:05so
00:57:07you know, what do you say?
00:57:09right?
00:57:10oh, sorry, Cassandra
00:57:12yeah, I want to speak to Raquel
00:57:16she's in the where
00:57:19oh, alright, I'll hang on
00:57:25oh, hello, boysie
00:57:28who was that woman?
00:57:42hmm?
00:57:45you know that woman?
00:57:46that woman that just smiled at me
00:57:48I didn't see anybody smiling at me
00:57:49no-one smiled at me all evening
00:57:50I didn't know what I know her place from
00:57:52oh, yeah, I remember Bronco, Marlene's brother
00:57:56he was in hospital last year
00:57:57we went to see him
00:57:58that's where I saw
00:57:59alright, let's clear that mystery up then
00:58:00oh, my favourite Bronco
00:58:02wasn't he in a psychiatric hospital?
00:58:05yeah
00:58:08thanks
00:58:09hello
00:58:13hello
00:58:16hello
00:58:18hello, Raquel
00:58:20how are you?
00:58:21fine
00:58:22you?
00:58:23yeah, lovely
00:58:25I'm missing you, darling
00:58:27I'm missing you as well, you rotten sod
00:58:30come on then, why don't you come home, eh?
00:58:32it's not as simple as that
00:58:34sweetheart, don't take too much notice of me in the last month
00:58:37it's just been a one-off, that's all
00:58:40what about the month before that?
00:58:41yeah, well that was a one-off and all
00:58:43well, I didn't like your attitude
00:58:45you were willing to gamble with our housekeeping money
00:58:47with our future in some grotty little South London casino
00:58:50look, sweetheart, that's all in the past, I tell you
00:58:52look, no more casinos, no more pubs
00:58:56same again, Dil
00:58:57yeah, alright, Trig, yeah
00:58:59yeah, just, er, you know, a lemonade and a lime
00:59:05isn't that stupid?
00:59:06I don't mind you going down the Nags Head
00:59:08so long as it's not every night
00:59:10and when you do go down there, I wouldn't mind going as well
00:59:12yeah, well that's my thoughts entirely, sweetheart
00:59:14exactly
00:59:15we'll just go down there, we'll just go down at weekends
00:59:17you know, just to be sociable
00:59:18listen, I'll tell you what, sweetheart
00:59:20if you're going to go out shopping
00:59:21you get me a pair of those chequered slippers
00:59:23and an underweight of ob-nob
00:59:26you know, I'm a changed man
00:59:28I am, I'll even take little Damien out, you know
00:59:31no excuses
00:59:33so, what are you ready, sweetheart?
00:59:34can I come and pick you up?
00:59:36not right now, Damien's fast asleep
00:59:38alright, what about first thing in the morning?
00:59:40I promise to take him up London, Madame Tussauds
00:59:43unless you'd like to come with us
00:59:45oh no, no, I can't tomorrow, darling
00:59:46I'll go and pick up all them Russian VCRs
00:59:49I'll pick you up tomorrow night, yeah?
00:59:52alright then
00:59:54Raquel, say the magic words
00:59:57don't be silly
00:59:59go on, go on Raquel
01:00:01say the magic words
01:00:02I love you Trotter
01:00:06yes!
01:00:09alright darling, I'll pick you up tomorrow, alright?
01:00:12ta-da
01:00:16that is it, little boy
01:00:18you're an hour changed man
01:00:20this is the first day of the rest of your life
01:00:23Michael!
01:00:25bottle of your finest champagne, please
01:00:27thank you
01:00:32shhh
01:00:58just one voice
01:01:00singing in the darkness
01:01:05all it takes is one voice
01:01:10singing in the darkness
01:01:12all it takes is one voice
01:01:14singing so I hear what's on your mind
01:01:17and then they took around your flight
01:01:20there's more than one voice
01:01:22singing in the darkness
01:01:25singing in the darkness
01:01:28singing in the darkness
01:01:30singing in the darkness
01:01:31joining with your one voice
01:01:34every note
01:01:36and every note
01:01:38and number of
01:01:40octopus and lovely
01:01:41is unlocked
01:01:43if only one voice
01:01:45would start it on its own
01:01:46if only one voice
01:01:47would start it on its own
01:01:49we need just one
01:01:50what's all this Ratniks?
01:01:51It's Trotter, he's drunk again.
01:01:53Why don't you get off of your bed, Derry?
01:01:55And that one voice would never be alone.
01:02:01And that one voice...
01:02:06Back up, all your cares and woes!
01:02:19Here I go!
01:02:21Why don't you shut up, Mac? You're making it worse!
01:02:28You want me to shut up? Why don't you make me shut up?
01:02:32Right, I'll shut that big mouth of yours.
01:02:36Downstairs, it's a firewood!
01:02:39Right, I'm in for some of that!
01:02:42Oh no, that's all we need.
01:02:46Jill, boy!
01:02:48Jill! Come in here!
01:02:51Oh no...
01:02:54Oh no...
01:02:55Hello?
01:02:56Yeah...
01:02:58All right, bye-bye.
01:03:01All right, bye-bye.
01:03:06Bye-bye.
01:03:13Bye-bye.
01:03:15Bye-bye.
01:03:16Bye-bye.
01:03:24Bye-bye singing in the precinct.
01:03:29Del's singing in the precinct.
01:03:32I can't hear anything.
01:03:33What was Albert on the phone?
01:03:36Del's singing on the estate.
01:03:39It's quarter past two in the morning and Del's singing.
01:03:43Why?
01:03:44I don't know.
01:03:46You're working anyone up?
01:03:48Yeah, you and me for a start.
01:03:52Albert, why is Del singing?
01:03:56Yeah.
01:03:58Hmm.
01:04:00Mm-hmm.
01:04:02You all right?
01:04:04No, he don't know either.
01:04:08What do you mean, come round?
01:04:09What do you want me to do, harmonise with him?
01:04:13Albert, there's not a song in the world Del knows all the words to,
01:04:16so he'll be finished in a minute, won't he?
01:04:19No, I'm not coming round.
01:04:21I'll see you tomorrow.
01:04:24I believe him.
01:04:25I'll be a go round, see what's that.
01:04:33It takes that one voice
01:04:46Just one voice
01:04:47Just one voice
01:04:51It takes that one voice
01:04:52Singing in the darkness
01:04:55All it takes is one voice
01:05:00All it takes is one voice
01:05:03Shout it out and let it drink
01:05:07Just one voice
01:05:08Just one voice
01:05:12Just one voice
01:05:14It takes that one voice
01:05:15It takes that one voice
01:05:21It takes that one voice
01:05:22And every one
01:05:27We'll see
01:05:30What's happening now, Ruddy?
01:05:47What's happening?
01:05:48They're rioting again
01:05:49That's what's happening
01:05:50Why don't you have a look for yourself?
01:05:53You're joking
01:05:54I might get a brick come through the window
01:05:56We're on the 12th bloody floor, Albo
01:05:59What do you think they've done?
01:06:01Invited Jeff Capes along?
01:06:03Mrs Murphy said they've brought the horses out
01:06:05Yeah, they have
01:06:06Police have gone to get theirs now
01:06:08Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi
01:06:13Can't you turn that telly down?
01:06:15I'm in here
01:06:15I'm trying to get some sleep
01:06:16I don't believe it
01:06:18Oi
01:06:18Would you have a look out that window
01:06:20And see what's happening?
01:06:22What's the matter now?
01:06:23It's a full-scale inner-city riot
01:06:26Going on downstairs
01:06:27They're all there, Del
01:06:29The SPGs
01:06:30Snatch squads
01:06:31Looters
01:06:32People who want to get on telly
01:06:33And unless I'm very much mistaken
01:06:35Kate Adie
01:06:36Oh, well
01:06:41What started them all off again, then?
01:06:43You!
01:06:45Me?
01:06:45What have I done?
01:06:46Singing, Del
01:06:47Singing?
01:06:48Me?
01:06:49Now, don't try and deny it, son
01:06:50Cos I heard ya
01:06:51Singing?
01:06:53Oh, yeah
01:06:53No, wait a minute
01:06:54I remember now
01:06:55That's right
01:06:55I was celebrating, Rondie
01:06:56Raquel and Damien are coming home
01:06:58Oh, well, that's a good reason
01:07:00For a civil war, isn't it?
01:07:02Well, I was feeling a bit euphoric
01:07:04What's more natural than to
01:07:06Give the vent your joy
01:07:07With a little song, eh?
01:07:08It was one voice
01:07:10Singing in the darkness
01:07:11Yeah, I've got them now
01:07:12There's bloody thousands of them
01:07:13All right
01:07:15Okay
01:07:16I'm sorry
01:07:18Oh, well, that's all right, then
01:07:20Aren't it, Albert?
01:07:22All right
01:07:22What do you want me to do?
01:07:23You tell me what I should do
01:07:24And I'll do it
01:07:24Oh, well, why don't you just
01:07:25Stand out on the balcony
01:07:26And shout, stop it
01:07:27Oh, don't be ridiculous
01:07:28They won't take no notice
01:07:29Of that, will they?
01:07:31I'll tell you what I'm gonna do
01:07:32I'm gonna get dressed
01:07:34And I'm gonna go down now
01:07:35All right
01:07:35Hey, listen, what are you gonna do?
01:07:38You're gonna try and talk sensing to them?
01:07:40No
01:07:41Gonna frog them some of this ski gear
01:07:43There we are
01:07:49Lovely jubbly
01:07:51Come on, Ed
01:07:52Off we go
01:07:53Are you gonna check them?
01:07:59Hmm?
01:08:00I don't have to
01:08:01I know what's in them
01:08:01They're Russian video recorders, isn't it?
01:08:03No, am I not?
01:08:04You're gonna check their archive?
01:08:05Yeah, I've had a look at one
01:08:06They've got buttons and lights and things
01:08:08They seem kosher to me
01:08:09Go on, get it in there
01:08:10Hey, Rodney, look at that woman
01:08:22That woman
01:08:22There
01:08:23There
01:08:23What's the matter with you?
01:08:28Hmm?
01:08:30Well, don't matter
01:08:30Forget it
01:08:31Come on, hurry up, Rodney
01:08:33Let's get all this stuff down to the garage
01:08:35And I've got to go and pick up Raquel and Damien
01:08:37From your place
01:08:38You're right
01:08:39Yes, yeah, come on
01:08:41Just
01:08:41I saw the riot on TV this morning
01:08:54What started it this time?
01:08:57I know
01:08:57Seems to be the slightest little thing
01:09:00Starts it all off these days
01:09:02Still
01:09:03It was all nice and quiet
01:09:06When I left this evening
01:09:07Let's go
01:09:10Let's go
01:09:16Let's go
01:09:18Let's go
01:09:23Let's go
01:09:25Let's go
01:09:27Let's go
01:09:39Let's go
01:09:40Let's go
01:09:41Let's go
01:09:42Let's go
01:09:43Let's go
01:09:44Let's go
01:09:45Let's go
01:09:46Let's go
01:09:47Let's go
01:09:48Let's go
01:09:49Let's go
01:09:50Let's go
01:09:51Let's go
01:09:52Let's go
01:09:53Let's go
01:09:53Let's go
01:09:54Let's go
01:09:55Let's go
01:09:55Let's go
01:09:55Let's go
01:09:56You said it all quite down.
01:10:20I've got to turn around to go back to Wobby and Cassandra's.
01:10:24We live here.
01:10:26How the hell are we going to get through that lot in one piece?
01:10:30Well, I'm not turning round.
01:10:40Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
01:10:42It's Delboard!
01:10:47It's Delboard!
01:10:49Come through, Del!
01:10:58Hey, Texo. I've got that VCR that goes with your camera.
01:11:14Nice one, Del. We run tomorrow.
01:11:16Wait, Alex. Tell your sister I've got her video recorder.
01:11:20Right, Del. I'll tell her she's going to have her own fatigue.
01:11:22Lovely jubbly.
01:11:24LAUGHTER
01:11:25LAUGHTER
01:11:28LAUGHTER
01:12:30Well, this is down.
01:12:32Hi.
01:12:36Watch out.
01:12:39Beverly's interested in Damien's high chair.
01:12:42How'd she find out about that?
01:12:44I saw an ad in the newsagent's window.
01:12:47I was out the other night on my own.
01:12:49You know, nothing to do.
01:12:51Oh, yeah.
01:12:52So my daughter's baby.
01:12:54His name's Damien as well.
01:12:56Could you deliver it later today?
01:12:59Yeah, yeah, I suppose so, yeah.
01:13:01Del, Beverly might not be able to afford the full amount.
01:13:03Do you think we could come to some arrangement with her?
01:13:05Yeah, yeah, well, yeah.
01:13:06Well, I'll leave that up to you, sweetheart.
01:13:08Look, I just remembered I've got to go out and meet someone.
01:13:12Yeah.
01:13:13Nice meeting you.
01:13:16Yeah.
01:13:17Bye.
01:13:19It's not usually like that.
01:13:21Must be pressure of business.
01:13:22Hmm.
01:13:28Rodney.
01:13:28Rodney.
01:13:29Rodney's got a problem.
01:13:31I've got a big problem.
01:13:33Do you know that woman that we saw in the market the other day?
01:13:36The one who wasn't there?
01:13:37Yes, that one.
01:13:38She's only haunting me, Rodney.
01:13:40She's only bloody haunting me.
01:13:41Haunting?
01:13:42What do you mean haunting you?
01:13:43She's haunting me.
01:13:44She is the one that I made a date with and then gave her the elbow.
01:13:49And ever since then, she's everywhere that I look.
01:13:52And the other night, she was here.
01:13:53She was here.
01:13:53She was here in the pub.
01:13:54And then this morning, I was driving down the road,
01:13:56and she was standing there by a bus stop.
01:13:58And then she was in the market the other day.
01:14:00Do you remember?
01:14:00You saw her.
01:14:01No, I didn't.
01:14:02Yeah.
01:14:02See what I mean?
01:14:04And today, to top it all, today, I went home,
01:14:07and she's in my flat.
01:14:09What's she doing in your flat?
01:14:10Oh, she said that she'd come to buy Damien's high chair.
01:14:12If she thinks I'm going to believe that, she's got another thing coming.
01:14:15Why did she know it was for sale?
01:14:16She said that she saw the ad that I placed in the newsagents.
01:14:20Oh, that is a bit far-fetched, isn't it?
01:14:23Exactly.
01:14:24You crack me up, you two.
01:14:26Let's have a look at a fact, shall we?
01:14:28So, she was in this pub.
01:14:29Now, maybe, just maybe, she was having a drink.
01:14:33And then you saw her in the market lunchtime.
01:14:35Do you reckon she might have been shopping?
01:14:38Bit of a coincidence, though, that, innit?
01:14:40And then you saw her waiting at a bus stop.
01:14:42Now, this is just a hunch, though.
01:14:44But do you reckon there is an outside chance
01:14:46that she might have been waiting for a bus?
01:14:49Well, I don't know, do I?
01:14:50I'll tell you what I do know, though.
01:14:52She is an ex-psychiatric patient.
01:14:56So?
01:14:57So, she is a jealous woman, Rodney, a woman scorned.
01:15:02Now, jealous women are no problem to me, Norma.
01:15:05You know, I mean, I can handle all that.
01:15:06But this one is a jealous woman
01:15:09who's an olive short of a pizza.
01:15:13And she knows where we live.
01:15:15We could all wake up one morning
01:15:17and find we were skilled while we were asleep.
01:15:19You're just letting your imagination run away with you.
01:15:22Does she seem odd in any way?
01:15:25I don't know.
01:15:26You can judge for yourself.
01:15:28You've got to go and deliver the high chair.
01:15:31Well, I've got to go.
01:15:32Because I've got a wife and kid.
01:15:35Yeah, but I've got a wife and...
01:15:37For mum, it aren't I?
01:15:43Raquel?
01:15:45Raquel, where are... Raquel?
01:15:46Raquel?
01:15:47Raquel?
01:15:48Raquel?
01:15:49Raquel?
01:15:50Raquel?
01:15:51Raquel?
01:15:52Raquel?
01:15:53Raquel?
01:15:54Raquel?
01:15:55Raquel?
01:15:56Raquel?
01:15:57Raquel?
01:15:58Raquel?
01:16:00Raquel?
01:16:01Raquel?
01:16:02Raquel?
01:16:03Raquel?
01:16:04Raquel?
01:16:05Raquel?
01:16:06Raquel?
01:16:07Raquel?
01:16:08Raquel?
01:16:09Raquel?
01:16:10Raquel?
01:16:11Raquel?
01:16:12Raquel?
01:16:13Raquel?
01:16:14Raquel?
01:16:15Raquel?
01:16:16Oh, no.
01:16:26Oh, my God.
01:16:30Look.
01:16:33Albert's boiling his pants again.
01:16:38What's wrong, Del?
01:16:40Where's the gerbil?
01:16:42In Damien's room. He's playing with it.
01:16:44Del, what is wrong with you?
01:16:46I've got to sort this all out. I've got to sort it all out.
01:16:50I've got to go out, darling.
01:16:51I've got to meet someone.
01:17:08Right, now you listen to what I've got to say.
01:17:10You leave me and my family alone.
01:17:13You don't frighten me. I'm not scared of you.
01:17:15Shh!
01:17:16Mr. James.
01:17:19What's wrong with you, you moron?
01:17:21Oh, just a couple of fillings.
01:17:22You were following me.
01:17:35I've been following you.
01:17:36Yes.
01:17:37I thought it was the other way round.
01:17:39Everywhere I go, I see you.
01:17:41I go in the pub with my daughter and son-in-law and you're there.
01:17:44I'm waiting for a bus and you drive by.
01:17:48I go and do a bit of lunchtime shopping in the market and surprise, surprise, there you are again.
01:17:53I even went to buy a second-hand high chair and you walked in.
01:17:56Oh, I live there.
01:17:58OK, I'll let you off that one.
01:18:00Right.
01:18:02Listen, I think, Mr. Trotter, our wires have become crossed somewhere along the line.
01:18:08But you were in a psychiatric hospital.
01:18:10Yes.
01:18:11Oh, don't try and deny it.
01:18:13No, that friend of mine was visiting a relative there and he saw you.
01:18:18Oh, yes.
01:18:19I work there as a receptionist.
01:18:24I'm a medical receptionist.
01:18:26It's what I do, see?
01:18:28So, you...
01:18:29You weren't following me.
01:18:31Oh, good God.
01:18:31Do you think I'm hard up?
01:18:33Eh?
01:18:34Now, understand this, Mr. Trotter.
01:18:37If you follow me or come to my place of work and pester me again,
01:18:40I'm going to go to court, take out an injunction against you.
01:18:43Don't you worry, darling.
01:18:44This is the last we'll hear of each other.
01:18:46Good.
01:18:48Oh, and by the way, I suppose I should have expected as much.
01:18:51But that high chair's got a screw loose.
01:18:55Well, tighten it.
01:19:06There we are, sweetheart.
01:19:07Go on it.
01:19:07Get that down, young man.
01:19:10Oh, that was a lovely dinner, Achille.
01:19:13Thanks.
01:19:14Another drink, Cassandra.
01:19:15Better not.
01:19:16I'm doing the driving.
01:19:18Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
01:19:20Come on.
01:19:20You can stay over.
01:19:21We've got plenty of room.
01:19:23We're all mixing, can't we?
01:19:24Shall we?
01:19:25Yeah, let's enjoy ourselves, eh?
01:19:28Yes, that's it.
01:19:29You know it makes sense.
01:19:31Oh, darling, shall I put your tubular bells on?
01:19:34No, no, not yet, Del.
01:19:36All right, all right.
01:19:37She loves that tubular bells.
01:19:40Hey, come on, champ.
01:19:41It's bedtime for you.
01:19:43Come along.
01:19:43That's it.
01:19:44Come, let's go to bed.
01:19:45That's the boy.
01:19:46Off we go.
01:19:48Good night.
01:19:49Good night.
01:19:49All right.
01:19:50Good night.
01:19:50Say good night.
01:19:52Night.
01:19:53Good night.
01:19:53Lovely.
01:19:54Look at that.
01:19:54He's only ten.
01:19:57Here we go.
01:19:58Which is your run, then?
01:20:00So what did you get Del for Christmas?
01:20:02I got him one of those answering machines he's always on about.
01:20:05That'll save me getting any more rollikings for forgetting messages.
01:20:09Yeah, you know, this is quite a good one.
01:20:11How much did this cost, John?
01:20:12Shh.
01:20:13It didn't actually cost anything.
01:20:14I swapped it for Damien's high chair.
01:20:16Yeah?
01:20:17Yeah, you know, I reckon you've got a good deal there.
01:20:20Does it work?
01:20:22Oh, uh, hello, Beverly.
01:20:25This is Del Boyle.
01:20:27Um, I'm sorry.
01:20:29I've got to cancel our date tonight.
01:20:32Um, you know, I'll give you a call.
01:20:35All right?
01:20:37Bon shot.
01:20:40Watch out.
01:20:41Trotters about.
01:20:42Hey, watch out.
01:20:44Trotters about.
01:20:45Hey, watch out.
01:20:49Trotters about.
01:20:49Hey, look at that, are you, eh?
01:20:53Hey.
01:20:53Well, come on, smile.
01:20:58What's the matter, sweetheart?
01:20:59Don't touch me, Trotter.
01:21:01Don't come near me.
01:21:02Don't even look at me.
01:21:03What have you said to her, Rodney?
01:21:06Me?
01:21:07I haven't said anything.
01:21:08Don't try and blame Rodney.
01:21:09It's nothing to do with him.
01:21:11Don't look at me either, son.
01:21:12I'm keeping out of this.
01:21:14Look.
01:21:14Oh, here you are, Raquel.
01:21:16Are you feeling better now, darling?
01:21:18Hey, Raquel, that could have hit me.
01:21:19It was meant to hit you.
01:21:21Glory infants are tender and mild.
01:21:30Save me, Lord, and hear me.
01:21:38Save me, Lord, and hear me.
01:21:46Will someone tell me what have I done?
01:21:48What have I done?
01:21:51We've got some off-cross, black ties,
01:22:01some mountain under carpet town.
01:22:02TV, TV, TV, and baby, baby, baby, okay.
01:22:05We've been approaching, whistling to never push.
01:22:08Some trigger phones with check seats for my mission ship.
01:22:11Push, push, push, push, push, push, push.
01:22:13We've got no income tax, no VAT.
01:22:17No money back, no guarantee.
01:22:21Black or white, rich or broke.
01:22:24We'll cut prices and a straw.
01:22:29God bless, hooky street.
01:22:31Viva, hooky street.
01:22:35Long live, hooky street.
01:22:37Say, man, defeat, hooky street.
01:22:41Man, defeat, hooky street.
01:22:45Hooky street.
01:22:48Hooky street.
01:22:51Hooky street.
01:22:54Hooky street.
01:22:55Hooky street.
01:22:56Hooky street.
01:22:56Hooky street.
01:22:57Hooky street.
01:22:58Hooky street.
01:22:59Hooky street.
01:23:00Hooky street.
01:23:01Hooky street.
01:23:02Hooky street.
01:23:03Hooky street.
01:23:04Hooky street.
01:23:05Hooky street.
01:23:06Hooky street.
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