- 19 hours ago
Tv, Only Fools and Horses S06E07 The Jolly Boys Outing
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TVTranscript
00:00:00Stick a bunny in me pocket, I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:00:09Cause if you are the best ones, but you don't ask questions
00:00:14Then brother, I'm your man
00:00:17Cause where it all comes from is a mystery
00:00:21It's like the changing of the seasons and the tides of the sea
00:00:25But is the one what's driving me berserk?
00:00:28Why do only fools and horses work
00:00:32La la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la
00:00:37La la la la la, la la la la la
00:00:41La la la la la la, la la la la
00:00:44Now come and listen to this, I've come here to sell my wares
00:00:48I haven't come here to be laughed at, shaft at or generally mucked about
00:00:51I've come to sell my wares, they're guaranteed, guaranteed to kill hardcore, softcore and pimples on the duck
00:00:55Right now, what we've got here today, I'll tell you what we're doing
00:00:59The muster F80 in-car radio cassette player
00:01:03As recommended by Nigel Manson
00:01:07No, no, no, this is great, I don't want to put up on something as important as this
00:01:10This is solid state-of-the-art technology this
00:01:13And this is none of your Japanese or your German rubbish
00:01:16No sir, this is actually made in Albania
00:01:20Seriously, let me show you, let me point out some of the advantages of this wonderful machine
00:01:26It's got multiple precepts, synthesised tuners, digital scan, auto-reverse graphic equalisers
00:01:33It's got MW, FM, VHF, LCD, RMS, B&Q and ICI
00:01:39And it comes complete with two
00:01:41Not one, two, count of one, two, quadraphonic speakers
00:01:46And I'm also giving away three, with this technological miracle
00:01:50One Kylie Minogue LP
00:01:52Wait a minute, only £10.99
00:01:56No, listen, don't walk away, you could regret this for the rest of your life
00:02:00I'll tell you what I'm going to do, forget the Kylie Minogue LP
00:02:04Right, £10, £10, first come, first serve
00:02:07Hello, Albert
00:02:18Oh, hello, love
00:02:20What are you up to?
00:02:21I am Trotter's Independent Traders Executive Looker
00:02:25The day Rodney went to work for your dad, I got promotion
00:02:28Yeah? Wishing it was that easy for me
00:02:31Well, have the bank said something about your new job?
00:02:34No, I had to sit in an interview yesterday
00:02:36My boss said he'll speak on my behalf, so it's fingers crossed
00:02:39You'll get your promotion, Cassandra
00:02:41I can feel it in me bones
00:02:43He'll make a lovely anniversary present for you
00:02:46Talking of anniversary presents
00:02:49I know what Del's got for you
00:02:51But you know me, I ain't saying nothing
00:02:54Don't want to spoil the surprise
00:02:56Oh, go on, spoil it
00:02:58All right, then
00:02:58Car radio
00:03:00A car radio?
00:03:02Well, I've got a radio in my car
00:03:04Have you?
00:03:05Yeah? It'll do for Rodney, then
00:03:07Oh, yeah, look really good on his bike, won't it?
00:03:10Well, maybe Del's looking for the future
00:03:12When you get your new job, you and Rodney will become a two-car family
00:03:16I think it'll be a long time before Rodney and I become a two-car family
00:03:20Yeah, but you've only been married a year
00:03:22First two or three are always a struggle
00:03:24It was the same with me and my wife
00:03:26Yeah, she used to write and say how tough it was
00:03:29What do you mean she used to write?
00:03:31Look, I was away at sea, there was a war on
00:03:33Look, I found this this morning at the bottom of my duffel bag
00:03:38I ain't seen it for years, I thought I lost it
00:03:41Look, Uncle Albert, I've only got one hour for my lunch
00:03:44It was midnight, I saw you look at this little harbour
00:03:47On board this Greek airing trawler
00:03:49That was our cover scene
00:03:51Oi!
00:03:52What is your game?
00:03:55You're supposed to be on look-out
00:03:57I haven't seen you look at anything
00:03:58The entire mass bands of the Metropolitan Police Force
00:04:02Could march through here playing I Shot the Sheriff
00:04:04And you wouldn't see it!
00:04:06It's the same as she wanted to know where I won my medal
00:04:09Yeah, it was my fault, Del, I'm sorry
00:04:11Anyway, I'd better be going, I've got to get some shopping here
00:04:14Oh yeah? What's that for?
00:04:15Tomorrow night's anniversary dinner, eh?
00:04:17Ha ha!
00:04:18What time do you want us there?
00:04:19I thought Rodney said we'd take you and Albert out to a restaurant at a later date
00:04:23Yes, I know, and I told Rodney that was far too expensive
00:04:26No, you've got to look after your pennies now, sweetheart
00:04:28The thing is, Del, it's not so much an anniversary dinner
00:04:32It's more business
00:04:33I've invited a couple of people along from the bank
00:04:35I'm worried you'll get bored
00:04:38No, you don't have to worry about us
00:04:41This is your night
00:04:43And we don't want to let you down
00:04:45You're family now, right?
00:04:48Yeah
00:04:49Eight o'clock okay?
00:04:51Yeah, love me jubbly
00:04:52Oh, hello, darling
00:04:54Hello, darling
00:04:55Oh, can I look?
00:04:58Yeah, if you want
00:05:00I warn you, we ain't at his best, miserable little git
00:05:03He's missing his morning nap
00:05:05Thank you, darling
00:05:07Oh, he's most probably got wind
00:05:13Oh, look at him
00:05:16He's a little cracker, anyhow
00:05:20He does remind me of Boise
00:05:21What, the ice?
00:05:23No, no, the wind
00:05:23What have you named him?
00:05:27We've called him Tyler
00:05:29Tyler?
00:05:31Nice
00:05:32Of course, if it had been a girl
00:05:34They would have called it Roof
00:05:35Then it'd be known as Roof Party
00:05:37Really?
00:05:41No, it's only
00:05:42What's up with you two?
00:05:45Oh, hello, Albert
00:05:46Oh, blimey, that's not another medal, is it?
00:05:50Yeah
00:05:51An act of bravery in the GNC
00:05:54I was on his quick airing trawler
00:05:57And suddenly, out of the darkness
00:05:59Come his German torpedo boat
00:06:02Albert, you must have come back
00:06:03With more medals than the Russian Olympic squad
00:06:06Oh, I didn't ask for them
00:06:09They kept giving them to me
00:06:11Oh, shut up, Tyler
00:06:14Kiss him here
00:06:16Kiss him here
00:06:17I'm a natural with kids
00:06:19All right, everyone, I'm off then
00:06:21Nice to see you
00:06:22Yeah, it's all right, Cassandra
00:06:23Tell them now, love
00:06:23Bye
00:06:24Cassandra's a nice girl, isn't she?
00:06:27Mm-hmm
00:06:28Rodney was really lucky marrying her
00:06:30Yeah
00:06:30And I was lumbered with the old man of the sea, look
00:06:34Hey, talking of sea
00:06:36Boise's just told me
00:06:38You lot are off on a B-note at Margate
00:06:39Oh, what a jolly boy's outing
00:06:41Yeah, well, we go every couple of years
00:06:42I organise it
00:06:43If he gets up to anything with a bird in Margate
00:06:46I am holding you responsible
00:06:48Oh, we won't get up to nothing
00:06:50We'll only be there a couple of hours
00:06:51He don't need a couple of hours
00:06:53Thirty seconds, does he?
00:06:58So there I was
00:06:59At the wheel of this Greek errand tool
00:07:01Sailing into the unknown
00:07:03It was 2,300 hours
00:07:06And the night was blacker than a bailiff's arm
00:07:08So where's Rodney working now?
00:07:13Oh, he's working with Alan, you know
00:07:15Cassandra's dad down at the printing works
00:07:16What, he managed to keep that job?
00:07:19Oh, yeah
00:07:19Well, he's doing very nicely
00:07:20Oh, yeah
00:07:22Works in the computer section
00:07:24About a trainee start last month
00:07:26Showing him all the ropes
00:07:28Yeah, Rodney will soon pick it up
00:07:30Yeah, no, Rodney's showing the trainee all the ropes
00:07:34Oh, oh
00:07:37Then out of the darkness came this German torpedo boat
00:07:42Quick as a flash
00:07:44And without giving a second's fault to me own safety or anyone else's
00:07:47I swung the wheel to the port
00:07:49And sent the trawler right across the German boat's bow
00:07:52We were slightly damaged
00:07:55But Jerry sunk within a minute
00:07:57That's why they gave me this medal
00:07:59One day, if you're lucky
00:08:01You might win one of these
00:08:03But then again
00:08:07Hopefully not
00:08:10Now, what you've got to understand, Marlene
00:08:16Is that Rodney's in charge of the whole computer section
00:08:19The entire thing
00:08:20I don't know where that phone would be without Rodney
00:08:23Shit
00:08:27It's the second time I've done it today
00:08:49How's it going, Rodney?
00:08:51Oh
00:08:51Fine
00:08:53Have you got those printouts ready for the bank yet?
00:08:56Shouldn't be long, Ellen
00:08:57I'd be very careful if I was you
00:08:59You've wiped them off the day once already
00:09:00Oh
00:09:01No problem
00:09:05So
00:09:06What have you bought Cassandra for your anniversary, then?
00:09:10Oh, it was
00:09:10Clothing
00:09:13Clothing? Lovely
00:09:15Well, I expect I'll see it tomorrow night
00:09:17She's bound to wear it at the dinner
00:09:18I don't think she will, Ellie
00:09:20Oh, well, I don't know
00:09:21Oh
00:09:23Well, I, er, I really am looking forward to your anniversary dinner
00:09:32Yeah, well, so was I
00:09:34Till I found out she's invited that Stephen and Joanne
00:09:37Oh, no, you've got to be fair, son
00:09:38You know, Stephen is the assistant head of the bank's overseas investment bureau
00:09:42He's Cassie's boss
00:09:43She's applied for promotion, so she's got to stay on his good side
00:09:46Oh, no, but he's such a yuppie
00:09:49He's all that
00:09:50Oh, yeah, for sure
00:09:52And all that
00:09:53Okay, can I just run this past you?
00:09:56Fred
00:09:56Yeah
00:09:57Yeah, I can't stand him either
00:09:59But he's the sort of man that might do the company some good one of these days
00:10:02I'd rather have him inside the tent spitting out than outside the tent spitting in
00:10:05Understand?
00:10:06Yeah, of course I do
00:10:08Look, er, if Cassie is lucky enough to get this promotion
00:10:13One of her jobs and, er, one of her duties is going to be entertaining at home
00:10:16So she's, er, invited Stephen and his wife along to prove that she can throw a good dinner party
00:10:21Yeah, I know
00:10:22Take no notice of me, right? I'm just overreacting
00:10:25Well, we'll all be on our best behaviour
00:10:27Make a good impression for our little Cassie
00:10:29Yeah
00:10:30Alan
00:10:35I've invited Della now, but
00:10:38You what?
00:10:40I don't like to
00:10:41Well, they're family
00:10:42Well, I don't suppose she'd have been very happy in her new job anyway
00:10:51Excuse me, sir
00:10:55Oh
00:10:58It's just all that data you had on your screen
00:11:01So I'm well on that
00:11:05Well, of course it is
00:11:08They don't know they're born, do they?
00:11:20All right
00:11:23At first glance, it may appear to be slightly off the wall
00:11:26But the word in the city is Big Bucksville
00:11:28Right, so what is this big secret, then?
00:11:31Stephen's about to tell you if you give him half a chance
00:11:33Alan, this is no stock market secret or insider information
00:11:36It is merely my humble opinion for what it's worth
00:11:39Okay, let me run this one past you
00:11:41Try and get your heads right
00:11:42I'm going to say one word
00:11:45But bear in mind I am talking future, long-term investment, yeah?
00:11:48It's hanging there, time
00:11:49Yeah, for sure
00:11:50Okay, this is the bottom line
00:11:52Take it on board if you wish
00:11:54The word is Africa
00:11:57Africa
00:11:58Africa
00:11:59I'll make a note of that in my file of facts if I may, Stephen
00:12:02Okay, look
00:12:03The two main ladies in my life, Joanne and Cassie
00:12:07Know where I'm coming from on this one
00:12:09Stephen was telling me about the projected world growth areas the other day on brunch
00:12:14And Africa is where it's at
00:12:16Recently, Joanne and I spent a little time down in Afrique-sur-Mer
00:12:20Fabrique Belgique
00:12:23This is it
00:12:25Fruit produce, yeah?
00:12:32With the introduction of new technology
00:12:34We could be talking returns of left-field proportions
00:12:37Take the banana crop alone
00:12:39We are into mega growth
00:12:41Well, you can't go wrong, Stephen
00:12:43The bigger the banana, the better
00:12:44Sure, and statistically we are talking
00:12:48What?
00:12:50It's easier to sell bigger bananas than little ones
00:12:55Tell, I think when Stephen talks about growth
00:13:00He's talking about financial investment
00:13:02Not about the
00:13:02Oh, yeah
00:13:07No, yeah, no
00:13:08I just wasn't sure
00:13:10Coffee, everyone?
00:13:12Mummy, I was about to do that
00:13:14That's all right, darling
00:13:15You were talking with Stephen
00:13:16So I thought I might as well make myself useful
00:13:18It's a lovely little flat, Cassandra
00:13:20Everything's so, well, so well coordinated
00:13:23Thanks
00:13:23That's cos Rodney has got a GCA in all
00:13:26Hmm
00:13:27Recuse anyone?
00:13:28Dad?
00:13:29Oh, yeah, yeah, I'll have a Scotch, please, love
00:13:31Ah, no, make a small pot, please
00:13:35Roddy?
00:13:36Yeah?
00:13:37Roddy?
00:13:38Roddy?
00:13:39Wait, Albert, you only calls him Roddy, look
00:13:42Derrick?
00:13:45Hmm?
00:13:45Yes, yeah, brandy, please, Pamela
00:13:46Armagnac?
00:13:49Yeah, that'll do if you're our brandy
00:13:51All have a rum, dear
00:13:55Yes, we know
00:13:56I'll stay with the wine
00:13:58Yeah, same here
00:13:59I've got to be up early in the morning
00:14:00Playing baseball
00:14:02Oh, baseball
00:14:04Yeah, no, I love it
00:14:05I always watch it on Channel 4
00:14:07You don't like baseball
00:14:08You've always called it Silly Boys Rounders
00:14:11I mean, yeah, that was before that I knew it was in
00:14:17Nowadays, it's the sort of game that guys like me and Stephen enjoy
00:14:21How do you mean, guys like me and Stephen?
00:14:25Oh, yeah, yuppies
00:14:27Derek, I am not a yuppie
00:14:35You are, Stephen
00:14:36You are, guaranteed
00:14:38No, no, no
00:14:40I can't take it from me, son
00:14:41You are
00:14:42Okay, well, are you going to give me the chance to wipe the floor with your pursuit or not?
00:14:50Oh, yeah
00:14:51Brill
00:14:51Ah, right, yes
00:14:53Trivial pursuits, eh?
00:14:56Lovely jubbly
00:14:57How do you play it?
00:15:02The thing is, Dale, it's all about general knowledge
00:15:04You know, it's a bit intellectual
00:15:06Oh, yeah
00:15:08Yeah, some of the questions are, you know, really difficult
00:15:11It could be a bit embarrassing
00:15:12Don't worry
00:15:14I'll help you two out
00:15:15All right
00:15:16So, so what part of Africa did you go?
00:15:24I bet he's been there
00:15:25Well, the trip ended at Dar es Salaam
00:15:28I've been there
00:15:29Okay, this is really boring
00:15:32We left Nairobi
00:15:34Then went south to Moshe
00:15:35Across the Serengeti
00:15:36To Musoma
00:15:37Then the long trek east
00:15:38To the coast
00:15:39During the war
00:15:41During the war
00:15:42We pursued a German battleship
00:15:44Down the eastern coast
00:15:46Right the way through the Zanzibar Channel
00:15:49Three days and nights we chased it
00:15:51Did you catch it?
00:15:53Yeah, well, it sunk us
00:15:55Find that holiday brochure for Cassandra
00:15:57Yeah, for sure
00:15:58I mean, try and get your heads round this, okay?
00:16:01Imagine the sun
00:16:03Setting on the vast waters of Lake Victoria
00:16:05A hundred thousand wildebeest
00:16:09Grazing on the Maasai steppe, yeah?
00:16:11Oh, yeah
00:16:11Wonderful
00:16:12Misty, sleepy dawn rises to reveal
00:16:16Kilimanjaro
00:16:18In all its hypnotic majesty
00:16:21Oh, sounds great
00:16:24We're all going on a Bino to Margate, let's say
00:16:27Me?
00:16:30Me?
00:16:31Oh, yeah, I mean, it sounds great
00:16:33But it's bank holiday weekend
00:16:35And Joanne and I always spend them together
00:16:37No, I'm going away to Mummy and Daddy's next Saturday
00:16:40Remember?
00:16:41It's better than being on your own, Stephen
00:16:43It'll get you out of the old routine
00:16:45No, I mean, I
00:16:46I wouldn't know anyone
00:16:47Of course you will
00:16:49Wardney's going
00:16:50You're going?
00:16:53Yeah
00:16:53Well, it's tradition, you know
00:16:56It's the jolly boys' hair thing
00:16:59The what?
00:17:00It's the jolly boys' out
00:17:02It's been going on for years
00:17:04You can't stop Rodney from going, darling
00:17:07After all, it's only a day out
00:17:08And doing good
00:17:09Yeah
00:17:10Anyway, your dad'll be there
00:17:11To keep an eye on him
00:17:12Won't you?
00:17:13Well, I thought, you know, a bit of sea air do me good
00:17:20You're going to get drunk, aren't you?
00:17:22Because I'm sick of jellied eels
00:17:24I'm not going to drink anything
00:17:25I'm not going to eat
00:17:26I'm just going to enjoy myself
00:17:28Okay, well, who threw the highest number?
00:17:32Was it me?
00:17:33No
00:17:33They'll do
00:17:35Yeah, I think it's me
00:17:36Okay, well, roll again, Derek
00:17:37And, uh
00:17:38Well, I'll ask the question
00:17:39All right, there we go
00:17:40Four
00:17:41What do I do now?
00:17:42Is this me, yeah?
00:17:43One, two, three, four
00:17:44There you go
00:17:45Oh, S and N
00:17:45S and N!
00:17:47What's S and N?
00:17:49Science and nature
00:17:49Right
00:17:50Oh, God
00:17:55It's so simple
00:17:57What is a female swan called?
00:18:06What is, um, female swan called?
00:18:11You don't know?
00:18:13No, no, I do
00:18:14I don't
00:18:14It's just, oh, it's stuck in the back of me, um, me brain now
00:18:18Um, oh, can you get us a clove?
00:18:20Three letters
00:18:20Hey, come on now
00:18:21There's nothing in the rules about clues
00:18:23All right
00:18:24It's a female swan
00:18:26Three letters
00:18:27Um
00:18:28Uh, wait a minute
00:18:30Um
00:18:30Mm, got it
00:18:32It's a Bic
00:18:33I need somebody
00:18:40I'm just anybody
00:18:42You know I need someone
00:18:45Help
00:18:46You know I need someone
00:18:47You know I need someone
00:18:48Now I was younger
00:18:49So much younger
00:18:50Than today
00:18:52Never needed anybody
00:18:54He's helping anyway
00:18:56And around now
00:18:58These days are gone
00:18:59I'm not so self-assured
00:19:02Now I need to take a mile
00:19:04Open up the door
00:19:06Help me if you can
00:19:08I'm feeling down
00:19:10I'm feeling down
00:19:11I'm feeling down
00:19:12Now I do appreciate you being round
00:19:16Run
00:19:17Run
00:19:18Run
00:19:19Help
00:19:20Help
00:19:21Help
00:19:22Won't you please
00:19:24Help me
00:19:26Help me
00:19:27Help me
00:19:28Get out you noisy little kid
00:19:30There's a great song
00:19:31You're on a vino
00:19:32You're supposed to be enjoying yourself
00:19:34Well I haven't had my full quote for a street
00:19:36But I'm starving hungry
00:19:38How do we have to leave before breakfast
00:19:40Don't you read the papers Albert
00:19:42The railways are on strike
00:19:44Show
00:19:45And it's a bank holiday weekend
00:19:46Which means the roads are gonna be chock-a-block
00:19:48That's why we left early
00:19:50Now repeat that back to me
00:19:52I wanna make sure you understand
00:19:54I'll give you a club round here in a minute
00:19:56I'll help you
00:19:59Help me
00:20:00Girl
00:20:01You reckon I've got to get something to eat
00:20:02Yeah
00:20:03Of course you can do
00:20:04Denzel's in charge of the sandwiches
00:20:05I'll tell you what
00:20:06You sit there
00:20:07And I'll go and get some for you
00:20:08Alright
00:20:11You lazy old kid
00:20:13You've got to give Denny's dues incha
00:20:15He did all the catering by himself
00:20:17Oh leave off Jebben
00:20:18Can you see dog boys standing in the kitchen
00:20:20Cutting up all them ropes
00:20:21He probably got some idiot to do it for him
00:20:24for him? No, I made him for him.
00:20:35You know, what's a bit
00:20:36to wash it down with?
00:20:38Then so what is your game?
00:20:40Don't you realise the damage that stuff
00:20:42does to you? They're antibiotics.
00:20:46What?
00:20:47Antibiotics. The doctor
00:20:48prescribed them and I don't need that.
00:20:50I'm not supposed to drink with them.
00:20:53I've got this infection.
00:20:55Oh, have you?
00:20:57It's in the ear.
00:20:59How do you get it in?
00:21:00It's when I'm going to have ear infections.
00:21:03Oh.
00:21:05Listen, Del, you won't tell the others
00:21:07about this, will you? I mean, these days people get the wrong
00:21:09idea about this sort of thing.
00:21:11Come on, don't be silly, Denzel.
00:21:13Of course I won't. It's just an ear infection,
00:21:15that's all. Wait, wait, wait, Denzel,
00:21:17you don't have to prove yourself to me, do you?
00:21:19I'm your mate. Cheers, Del.
00:21:21It's all right. Oh, by the way,
00:21:23there's been a changing plan.
00:21:26You're no longer in charge of the sandwiches.
00:21:30Michael?
00:21:30Yeah, that's changed.
00:21:31You're in charge of the grub.
00:21:35Oi.
00:21:35Yes?
00:21:36I want a world with you.
00:21:37Yeah, what is it, Sid?
00:21:38I own a cafe, right?
00:21:40Yeah, right, so what?
00:21:41So why didn't you ask me to make the sandwiches?
00:21:44Well, the explanation is simple.
00:21:46We intend to eat them.
00:21:48Oh.
00:21:48All right.
00:21:50All right.
00:21:50Well, that's only another ten minutes,
00:21:56then we'll be at the halfway house.
00:21:58That's when the serious stuff begins.
00:22:02Yeah.
00:22:04Make those lagers long,
00:22:06and it's cold.
00:22:08Yes.
00:22:09Look out, Margot,
00:22:10and look up your daughters.
00:22:12Eh?
00:22:13All right, Ellen?
00:22:18Two, four, six, eight,
00:22:24and never too bad.
00:22:25Thank you for the salad.
00:22:27Cheers.
00:22:27There's cheese for you, sir.
00:22:29Er, there you go, Denzel.
00:22:38He promised you wouldn't say anything.
00:22:40Sorry, Denzel,
00:22:41he just thought I'd slip that.
00:22:42I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
00:22:48Hey, Denzel, hang on, Mike.
00:23:07See you halfway out.
00:23:07Ah, yay, lovely, jubbly.
00:23:10Three, five, seven, nine.
00:23:13You've got a white line.
00:23:15But a waste of them coming up
00:23:16with the morning light.
00:23:19Waste can sit in pretty
00:23:20in a two-wheel stallion.
00:23:22This old tent of love
00:23:24we've got to eat on you.
00:23:26Ain't no use
00:23:27to sit up with my companion.
00:23:29First of many.
00:23:30Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:23:31Hey.
00:23:32Hey, you've seen Del Boy around?
00:23:42Well, he was here just now.
00:23:43Why, what's up?
00:23:44I think old Harry's
00:23:45had too much to drink.
00:23:47He's fallen over twice.
00:23:48Now he's trying to juggle
00:23:49with pickled eggs.
00:23:50So what's that got to do
00:23:51with Del?
00:23:52Well, Del organized this out
00:23:54and so it's his responsibility.
00:23:55I'll try the other bar.
00:23:59Sorry, mate.
00:23:59Hey, Mike.
00:24:01It is you, innit?
00:24:02I don't believe it.
00:24:03Eddie Chambers.
00:24:04Yeah.
00:24:05Here, I heard.
00:24:05You emigrated.
00:24:06That's right, yeah.
00:24:07I had a pub on the Isle of Wight.
00:24:10So, you still in the trade?
00:24:12Yeah, yeah.
00:24:12Got a lovely little place
00:24:13down in Peckham.
00:24:14Oh, there's two
00:24:15of my satisfied regulars
00:24:16over there.
00:24:20You, er, around for a while, then, Eddie?
00:24:22Yeah, about an hour up there.
00:24:23Oh, I'll catch up with you.
00:24:24We'll have a right old chat.
00:24:25I've got to dash a bit of business.
00:24:27See you later.
00:24:27All right, yeah.
00:24:28Panic over the slightest
00:24:29little thing these days.
00:24:32Wouldn't have done in the war, Sid.
00:24:34Wouldn't really know, Albert.
00:24:36I spent most of my time
00:24:37in a German prisoner of war camp.
00:24:40Got captured on this little island
00:24:41called Syros
00:24:42in the Dodecanese,
00:24:43just off the Greek coast.
00:24:45No chance to escape from here,
00:24:46I suppose.
00:24:47Well, a few of us tried it one night.
00:24:49Got right down to the harbour,
00:24:51overpowered some German sailors
00:24:53and nicked their boat.
00:24:54Fast bugger it was as well.
00:24:55Well, we'd almost made it
00:24:57to the open sea
00:24:58and this poxy Greek fishing trawler
00:25:01cut right across our park.
00:25:06Got fished out by the Germans
00:25:08and spent the rest of the war
00:25:09in a stale.
00:25:12Can't you see that, won't you?
00:25:13Yeah.
00:25:14Oh, there you are, Bill.
00:25:23Listen, we've got a bit of a problem
00:25:24out in the main park.
00:25:25What's happening now?
00:25:26Yeah, we've got to stop
00:25:27meeting like this, Michael.
00:25:29Talk about a bad penny.
00:25:30Dale, I'd like you to meet
00:25:31an old mate of mine.
00:25:32Eddie Chambers, Del Trotter.
00:25:34Nice to meet you, Dale.
00:25:35Thank you, Eddie.
00:25:39Eddie and I used to be rivals
00:25:40over in the East End.
00:25:41We had pubs almost opposite each other.
00:25:43Yeah, except mine was better than yours.
00:25:45You must be joking.
00:25:47Dale, you know how I run a pub,
00:25:49don't you?
00:25:49Yeah, that's right.
00:25:50It must have been better
00:25:51than yours, Mike.
00:25:52Thank you very much.
00:25:54You still doing it then, Eddie?
00:25:55No, no.
00:25:56I got out of the pub game years ago.
00:25:58I'm in a club now in Margate.
00:26:01The Mardi Gras.
00:26:02We do a decent meal.
00:26:03We've got resident cabaret.
00:26:05You know, singer, magic, act.
00:26:07Good comedian.
00:26:07I mean, what more do you want for a fibre?
00:26:11Well, that sounds fair enough to me, Eddie.
00:26:13Here, we're on a Beano 2 market,
00:26:15as it happens.
00:26:16Here, I'll tell you what,
00:26:17I just had an idea.
00:26:18Why don't you give us
00:26:19some complimentary tickets,
00:26:20like, you know,
00:26:21just to get the ball rolling,
00:26:22and we'll bring the rest
00:26:23of the coach party down your place
00:26:24to pay at the door.
00:26:25We can pack your place out.
00:26:27We'll have some of that.
00:26:28Here, I'll tell you what, look.
00:26:30Shoot you.
00:26:31Shoot you, Del.
00:26:32There you are.
00:26:32See, you know it makes sense.
00:26:33Maybe I'll see you later then, mate.
00:26:34See you later, Eddie, yeah.
00:26:35Yeah, good luck.
00:26:36Cheers, Eddie.
00:26:36Yeah, it might be.
00:26:40What do we want
00:26:41complimentary tickets
00:26:42for a nightclub for, Del?
00:26:44We've got to be out of
00:26:45Milgate by seven.
00:26:46Oh, look.
00:26:47Thank you very much.
00:26:48Use your brains, will you, Michael?
00:26:50We might be able to
00:26:51flog them to the holidaymakers, eh?
00:26:52Make ourselves a few bob,
00:26:54you know what I mean?
00:26:55Don't you ever stop.
00:26:56No.
00:26:57Yuppies never switch off, Michael.
00:26:59It's all or nothing with us.
00:27:00Right, now, what's his problem?
00:27:01I think you'd better come
00:27:03and have a look at old Harry.
00:27:04What?
00:27:05Eh?
00:27:05Good.
00:27:06All right, Harry.
00:27:16Don't worry.
00:27:16You'll be all right, mate.
00:27:17You'll be all right.
00:27:18Look at the state of him.
00:27:20And it's only 11 o'clock.
00:27:23This is good news, isn't it?
00:27:25There's no problem.
00:27:25You just chuck him on the back seat
00:27:26and let him sleep it off.
00:27:29Chuck him on the back seat.
00:27:30He's the driver.
00:27:34Oh, bloody hell.
00:27:36So what are we going to do now?
00:27:38I don't know yet.
00:27:40There's bound to be a way out of it.
00:27:42There's always a way.
00:27:44Here.
00:27:44Young Denshaw's a long-distance sorry driver.
00:27:47That's right.
00:27:48He could handle that coach, no problem.
00:27:50No, he's got a heavy goods licence.
00:27:52To drive that coach, you need a public service licence.
00:27:54He's got one of them and all.
00:27:56He used to drive on the buses with me years ago.
00:27:58Well, that's it then, isn't it?
00:27:59Eh?
00:27:59We're saved.
00:28:00Hey, Denzel, come over here.
00:28:03This is your lucky day.
00:28:04No.
00:28:05Don't?
00:28:05What do you mean, no?
00:28:06I am not driving that coach.
00:28:07I've been driving all week,
00:28:08and this is my day off.
00:28:10If you don't drive it,
00:28:11we'll have to wait here until Harry sobers up.
00:28:14And by the look of him,
00:28:14that could take about a port night.
00:28:16Well, Sid used to be on the buses.
00:28:18He can drive it.
00:28:19I'd love to, Denzel,
00:28:20but I've had a couple of drinks.
00:28:21Well, so have I, you see.
00:28:22No, you haven't.
00:28:23You're not allowed to drink.
00:28:24You're on antibiotics because of your disease.
00:28:27I have not got a disease.
00:28:29I have got an ear infection.
00:28:35Get your left foot up, Harry.
00:28:37Come on.
00:28:38Let's go, son.
00:28:42What do you think's wrong with him?
00:28:43What do I think...
00:28:44Your snow blindness would be my bet, Trigg.
00:28:48Yeah?
00:28:48I thought he was pissed.
00:28:52Come on, Denzel.
00:28:54You've got a better idea.
00:28:56Have you got this guy there?
00:28:57We'll be here all day and all night.
00:28:59All right, all right.
00:29:01I'll drive it on one condition.
00:29:02Harry drives it home.
00:29:03Good boy, Denzel.
00:29:05You know it makes sense.
00:29:06Petty.
00:29:07Good leg.
00:29:08Go on, then.
00:29:08Get on there.
00:29:09Right, come on, then, you lot.
00:29:10Come on, let's get a horse.
00:29:11Hurry up.
00:29:12Oi, you three, get on a coach.
00:29:13We're ready for the off now.
00:29:15Rodney, give me that ball.
00:29:17Rude gully.
00:29:19Nowhere.
00:29:21Excuse me, sir.
00:29:29What happened?
00:29:30Hey?
00:29:31You, you're under arrest.
00:29:34I couldn't help it.
00:29:35He's right, officer.
00:29:36He's right.
00:29:37He just threw the ball back to me like that.
00:29:42I don't know how much you've had to drink, son,
00:29:44but it's too much in the car.
00:29:46No, no.
00:29:46I just threw the ball back at him.
00:29:49You can tell me all about it at the station.
00:29:51What's Cassandra going to say about this?
00:30:02There's no need for Cassandra to know anything about it.
00:30:04And what happens when a summons arrives?
00:30:06Oh, summons?
00:30:07What summons?
00:30:08They're not proceeding with the case.
00:30:09Del, that copper has just charged me and taken a statement.
00:30:13He's keeping the ball as Exhibit A.
00:30:15But he also reckoned the chief inspector
00:30:16wouldn't take it any further.
00:30:18They'd let you off with a warning.
00:30:20Yeah, but so they don't.
00:30:21We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
00:30:23I think you're in the clear effect.
00:30:24I'm sure you are.
00:30:25Come on, let's get on the coach.
00:30:26Oh.
00:30:27Oh, Ross.
00:30:28Come on, that's the spirit.
00:30:29You know it makes sense.
00:30:31Right, come on in, Denzel.
00:30:32Full of head, both.
00:30:33We're off to Margate.
00:30:34Everybody's talking at me
00:30:47I don't care what they're saying
00:30:50Only the echoes of my mind
00:30:57People stopping still
00:31:02I can't see their faces
00:31:06Only the shadows of their eyes
00:31:12I'm going where the sun keeps shining
00:31:17Through the northern rain
00:31:20Going where the weather suits my doors
00:31:28Banking off of the northeast winds
00:31:33Sailing on the southern breeze
00:31:36And skipping over the ocean
00:31:40Like a star
00:31:42I'm going where the sun keeps shining
00:32:04Through the pouring rain
00:32:07Through the pouring rain
00:32:07Going where the weather suits my clothes
00:32:13Banking off of the northeast winds
00:32:19Sailing on summer breeze
00:32:22And skipping over the ocean
00:32:26Like a storm
00:32:28Everybody's talking at me
00:32:35Can't hear a word they're saying
00:32:38Only the echoes of my mind
00:32:45I won't let you leave
00:32:47I won't let you leave
00:32:49My love behind
00:32:52I won't let you leave
00:32:57I won't let you leave
00:33:11My love behind
00:33:15Well, the coach leads in an hour
00:33:23It hasn't been a bad old day, though, has it?
00:33:27No, it's been all right, bruv
00:33:29It's been all right
00:33:30I've really enjoyed myself
00:33:32I'm feeling a bit cream-crackered now, though
00:33:37I think I might have a touch of that yuppie flu, you know
00:33:41Yeah?
00:33:42Didn't have something to do with a lobster vindalow
00:33:43And full-time pina coladas, could it?
00:33:48Well, it might have slowed me down a bit, yeah
00:33:50Went down the cemetery yesterday
00:33:59Put some flowers on mum's grave
00:34:02I've been down there lately, Dells
00:34:06Sort of something to do, you know
00:34:08No, it's all right, brother
00:34:09She understands
00:34:10She knows that you still think about her
00:34:12Yeah, of course she does
00:34:13Well, I just, you know, I was, um
00:34:15I just sat there, you know
00:34:16I was, like, chatting and that
00:34:18Just letting her know what's been happening
00:34:21I bet she was well pleased
00:34:25Do you know, your Cassandra
00:34:29She reminds me a bit of mum, you know
00:34:31Oh, good
00:34:34She's got drive, hasn't she?
00:34:37You know, that's one thing mum had
00:34:38Your mum had a lot of drive
00:34:39Yeah
00:34:40Cassandra's very ambitious
00:34:43That's good, isn't it?
00:34:48Mm, good
00:34:48I think it's in the way of her career
00:34:53No doubt about that
00:34:55You must be well pleased
00:34:57Yeah
00:34:59Because she's an achiever
00:35:01Yeah
00:35:03She's a bit like me in many ways
00:35:06Yes, my son
00:35:09I've always been an achiever
00:35:11I never actually achieved nothing, mind you
00:35:14You know, you've a shout
00:35:16There it is
00:35:18This reminds me of the time
00:35:22That me and Jumbo Mills
00:35:23Set up a seafood stall outside the next end
00:35:26Eels on Wheels, we called it
00:35:30Who's gonna build them pires, you know
00:35:35You know, every pub in London
00:35:37Was gonna have a seafood stall outside
00:35:39Called Eels on Wheels
00:35:40You know what I said to him
00:35:44The night that we came up with the scheme
00:35:45This time next year we'll be millionaires
00:35:48I said, this time next year we'll be millionaires
00:35:50Well, we could have been, Rodney
00:35:55Could have been
00:35:57You know what killed off Eels on Wheels, don't you?
00:36:01It was television
00:36:02What, the cook repulsion?
00:36:04No, no, no
00:36:05Television started humanising fish
00:36:08What's you going on about?
00:36:10Well, it did
00:36:11They started to make fish human
00:36:12You know, first of all
00:36:14There was that shark thing
00:36:15Flipper
00:36:16And he had all the GCEs in you
00:36:18Then there was
00:36:20Squidly Diddly
00:36:21The Octopus
00:36:22I mean, he used to play the drums
00:36:24There was Michael Fish
00:36:26That put you out of business?
00:36:28Yes, it's true
00:36:30I'm telling you
00:36:31Mothers used to come round
00:36:32Complaining that their kids
00:36:33Refused to eat our homemade fish fingers
00:36:36In case they was related
00:36:37To the man from Atlantis
00:36:39And that report from the council health inspector
00:36:47Didn't help none either
00:36:48Could have made it that, bruv
00:36:55Could have
00:36:58He will, dear
00:37:02He will
00:37:04Never stop believing, eh, bruv
00:37:10Never stop believing
00:37:13Come on, Andy
00:37:18Time to go home
00:37:21Are we all here now, Del?
00:37:45No, we're just waiting for Rodney
00:37:47He's reporting in to headquarters
00:37:50Hi, Cass
00:37:53It's me
00:37:54Roddy
00:37:55I've been waiting for your call all day
00:37:57Have you?
00:37:58So, how are you?
00:38:00Oh, we're fine
00:38:01Listen, we're at the coach park
00:38:03We'll be off in a couple of minutes
00:38:04Yeah
00:38:12You won't tell my governor what happened, will you, Del?
00:38:15I'll get the bullet if he found out about this
00:38:18Leave it out, Harry
00:38:20What sort of bloke do you think I am?
00:38:22I had one glass of lemonade in that pub
00:38:24I don't know what happened
00:38:26Oh, I felt strange
00:38:28It was as if I'd been overcome by a fuse or something
00:38:32Yeah, well, whatever it was
00:38:35It's lucky we had Denzel about, weren't it, mate?
00:38:38Oh, no, no
00:38:38He's a good bloke, that Denzel
00:38:40Good bloke?
00:38:41He's one of the best
00:38:42One of the very best
00:38:44Del!
00:38:47What does that dipstick want now?
00:38:50Smoke coming from the radio
00:38:51Well, you must have pressed the wrong button or something
00:38:53Oh, look, I'll come and sort it out
00:38:56So, how's your day been?
00:38:59Oh, usual sort of thing
00:39:01Oh, Stephen phoned this morning
00:39:02Did he?
00:39:05Yeah, he found that holiday brochure he'd been telling us about
00:39:07Mummy called round to see if I'd like to have some lunch with her
00:39:10Then the Kent Police Constabulary phoned to confirm that you lived at this address
00:39:14That was nice of him, wasn't it?
00:39:21It's not supposed to do that, is it?
00:39:23No
00:39:23Well, it wasn't in the brochure, at least
00:39:26Oi, Boise
00:39:27Boise, here, come here a minute
00:39:30Yes, what is it?
00:39:31Look, you see
00:39:33Del said, give me the ball
00:39:35I might have guessed Del would be behind it somewhere
00:39:38No, he didn't mean to get me into trouble
00:39:40Well, he never does, does he?
00:39:42Yet it seems every time Del's around you, something goes wrong and you're at the sticky end of it
00:39:46Not every time
00:39:48What are we supposed to do about it?
00:39:52Well, I'd switch it off if I was you, Del
00:39:54The main petrol line runs right underneath there
00:39:56Ninety
00:39:57Oi, look
00:39:59Ben
00:40:00We've got to do something about this
00:40:02Someone get some water
00:40:03Good idea
00:40:04Water, we need loads of water
00:40:05Then his coach fitted with a fire distinguisher
00:40:07Abandon ship
00:40:11Come on, get off there
00:40:12And what about that time he entered one of your paintings in a competition
00:40:14And you won first prize in the under-15 category
00:40:18Yes, I do seem to recollect it, but I don't think you
00:40:22And I had to spend a week in Mallorca posing as your common-law stepmother
00:40:25Come on then, everybody
00:40:27Hurry up, look, library
00:40:28All right
00:40:29Look, I agree that Del gets a bit out of hand
00:40:33But I think it's unfair to say that everything he touches goes wrong
00:40:42Our coach has just blown up
00:40:54Don't worry, Harry, I won't tell your governor about it
00:40:59Oh, I don't believe it
00:41:20There's only a bloody rail strike
00:41:22My son has been christened in three weeks' time
00:41:27What about my capital?
00:41:28I've got a pub to run, Del
00:41:29I suppose it'll be a bird at nine
00:41:31And I lost my dolphin
00:41:32But just shut up
00:41:33What about the green line?
00:41:35There's a bus stop over there
00:41:36Yes, good idea, Denzel
00:41:39That's it
00:41:39Now, let's, er, er
00:41:47There you are, look
00:41:49The next bus to London is at 20 hundred hours
00:41:52What's that mean, Rodney?
00:41:55Eight o'clock
00:41:56So we've got half hour wait
00:41:58Ah, well, that's not too bad
00:42:00No, wait a minute, wait a minute
00:42:01That's a normal schedule
00:42:02That's a normal schedule
00:42:03Look here
00:42:03Bank holiday's Christmas
00:42:05Last bus goes at 19.20
00:42:07We missed it by ten minutes
00:42:08So when is the next one, then?
00:42:09Ten past eight tomorrow morning
00:42:11Wonderful
00:42:11We could hitchhike
00:42:14What?
00:42:15Twenty-seven of us
00:42:16I remember once you started a war
00:42:20Oh, don't start on
00:42:22We've had enough of your stupid stories for one day, Albert
00:42:24Oi, oi, oi, watch it
00:42:26He's a war hero
00:42:27He's got a right to speak
00:42:28I fought for free speech
00:42:30Shut up
00:42:31So why does he have to keep saying such stupid things in?
00:42:35Look, you keep on, Mickey
00:42:36In the back of my hand
00:42:37He's going to have a quiet word
00:42:38With your ear on
00:42:39Oh, that's it
00:42:39Let's all have a punch up
00:42:41In the middle of the street
00:42:41That'd put the cherry on the cake, wouldn't it?
00:42:44And this is the last time
00:42:45I come out on the Beano with you
00:42:46That's the last time
00:42:47I'm going to invite you
00:42:48And I'll tell you
00:42:49Calm down, calm down
00:42:51You get nowhere arguing
00:42:52Now, let's look at the facts
00:42:55What we've got here is
00:42:56Obscen's choice
00:42:57Can't get a train
00:42:58Last bus is gone
00:43:00Our own vehicle is somewhat out of action
00:43:02The coach company's promised
00:43:04To send a replacement vehicle
00:43:05Tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock
00:43:06So there you have it, gentlemen
00:43:07So what are you saying?
00:43:10What I'm saying is
00:43:11We're going to have to spend the night here
00:43:13We're booking to a hotel
00:43:14Bed and breakfast
00:43:15Only for one night
00:43:16You seem to be forgetting something
00:43:17This is a bank holiday
00:43:19This town is full to the rafters
00:43:21With holidaymakers
00:43:22Where are we going to find a room?
00:43:24Well, there's going to be
00:43:24A couple of them still vacant
00:43:25Yes, but there's 27 of us
00:43:29Uh, me and Mickey
00:43:35Are going to take a little walk
00:43:36On the seafront
00:43:37Yeah, well
00:43:39We feel like, um
00:43:41You know, stretching our legs
00:43:43I quite fancy taking the night air
00:43:46How about you, Michael?
00:43:48Oh, yeah
00:44:02Thank you
00:44:02We've been down this road once already, haven't we?
00:44:22We've been every bloody where.
00:44:24We've walked further than the Jarrah marchers.
00:44:26Yeah, and they were all out of work and starving,
00:44:29and I bet they didn't moan as much as you two.
00:44:31Gordon.
00:44:32Hey, Ben.
00:44:33Here, hang about.
00:44:34Look at that.
00:44:35I told you something to turn up, didn't I?
00:44:36Look.
00:44:37Vacancies.
00:44:38Hey?
00:44:39Come on.
00:44:40Lovely, jubbly.
00:44:45If you'd just like to wait here, please.
00:44:46Oh, right.
00:44:48Mrs Baker.
00:44:49Smell that, Rodney.
00:44:50Can you smell that?
00:44:51That's roast potatoes, innit?
00:44:53Yeah, and gravy.
00:44:55And steak and kidney pie, unless I'm mistaken.
00:44:58We've fallen on our feet here, haven't we?
00:45:00Yeah, and I am starving.
00:45:02Well, I so am I.
00:45:03Ain't he a beautiful cat, eh?
00:45:05And he likes me.
00:45:06Yeah.
00:45:07They're probably in love with that beard.
00:45:09Oh.
00:45:10Good evening.
00:45:11Good evening.
00:45:12Anyway, look, we'd like a room for the night.
00:45:16You know, can chuck in an evening meal, bit of brekkers, you know, that sort of thing.
00:45:20Oh, what a shame.
00:45:21I left the last of my rooms out about an hour ago.
00:45:24No, you've got a sign in the window saying vacancies.
00:45:27Is the sign still there?
00:45:29Oh, that silly girl.
00:45:31I told her to take it down.
00:45:33Excuse me, please.
00:45:34Oh.
00:45:35Helen.
00:45:36You forgot to take the sign out of the window.
00:45:39Oh, sorry, Mrs Baker.
00:45:40I just served dinner, then I'll see to it.
00:45:43Oh, sorry.
00:45:46I am sorry, gentlemen.
00:45:48Could we kick down in your front room?
00:45:50Yeah, or on the landing.
00:45:51Yeah, or in the airing cupboard, you know, anywhere.
00:45:53I'd love to help, but it's the regulations, you see.
00:45:56Well, is there anywhere around here we can get a room for the night?
00:45:59Well, it's difficult.
00:46:01It's a bank holiday weekend, you see, and this rail strike doesn't make things any better.
00:46:06You could try.
00:46:08Maybe not.
00:46:09No, please, where?
00:46:10Well, you could try Mrs Creswell's.
00:46:12She's at the Villa Bella, just across the square.
00:46:16She's always got vacancies.
00:46:18Oh, right.
00:46:19Well, thank you.
00:46:20We'll go and knock her up, then.
00:46:21Yes.
00:46:22Thanks very much.
00:46:28And the next thing you know, whoosh!
00:46:31Where they went.
00:46:32Did you see Doughboy's face?
00:46:33Oh, I wish I had my video camera with me.
00:46:36How?
00:46:37Look who's here.
00:46:38It's the Coach Busters.
00:46:40Are you staying here as well?
00:46:43No, no.
00:46:44No, we're not.
00:46:45Oh, that's a shame, because you would have liked it here.
00:46:47We've had a lovely hot bath, H.
00:46:48Nice warm room.
00:46:49And the food's great.
00:46:51You would have really liked it here.
00:46:53Yeah, well, we don't care, because we've got somewhere even better to go.
00:46:58Yeah, that's right, yeah.
00:46:59Yeah.
00:47:00You're not going to the Villa Bella, are you?
00:47:02Um, no, no, we're not.
00:47:04No.
00:47:05No.
00:47:06No, we're going down a...
00:47:09It's a secret.
00:47:13It's beginning to feel guilty, because it's so nice to you.
00:47:16Yeah.
00:47:19How's your disease, Denzel?
00:47:23I have not got a disease.
00:47:25It is an ear infection.
00:47:27Yeah, Mrs Baker, would you make sure that he takes his tablets?
00:47:30Only the doctors down at the clinic for iffy diseases did say it was contagious.
00:47:35Well, I mean, at least they said they hope it wasn't.
00:47:38Bon appetit, Gitsy.
00:47:46Good job!
00:47:55There it is, look.
00:47:57The Villa Bella.
00:48:05Oh, dear.
00:48:12Don't look too bad.
00:48:15Look too bad.
00:48:16Look at him.
00:48:18He looks like the Munsters weekend plant.
00:48:23Oh, come on, dear.
00:48:24Looks fun somewhere else.
00:48:25Oh, look me well.
00:48:27We've been everywhere in the town, haven't we, eh?
00:48:29Look at him.
00:48:30It's going to start chucking it down again in a minute,
00:48:32and then we're going to get soaked and frozen.
00:48:36Now, come on, this is our last chance.
00:48:38You never know, it might be rather nice inside.
00:48:41Well, I'm game.
00:48:42There you are, that's the spirit, Uncle.
00:48:44See? He who dares wins.
00:48:47See? Go on, go and ring the bell.
00:48:50Go and ring the bell, hurry up.
00:49:02Are you Mrs. Cresswell?
00:49:22Yes.
00:49:24Oh, she's just at the Lady Down the Road, a Mrs. Baker.
00:49:26She recommended us to you, said you might have a room for tonight.
00:49:31Come in.
00:49:32Are you Bella?
00:49:50No.
00:49:52Bella died ten years ago.
00:49:56I hope they've buried her.
00:49:57It's cold, isn't it?
00:50:03That's the weather.
00:50:05Oh, is it? I don't know, I'm a stranger around here.
00:50:10I've got a three-bedded room vacant.
00:50:13It's ten pounds a night each, and that includes a traditional English breakfast.
00:50:17Oh, well, that's it. No, that sounds just the ticket, Mrs. Cresswell.
00:50:19That'll be thirty pounds in advance. Sign the book.
00:50:23Yeah, fine.
00:50:24Inga, show these gentlemen up to the blue room.
00:50:27Can't you see I'm serving dinner? I've only got the one pair of hands.
00:50:31Well, show them up after you've served dinner.
00:50:33Do everything you bloody self-rode here.
00:50:35I'm training her.
00:50:41She's coming on a bundle, isn't she?
00:50:44The front door is locked at 11pm and not opened again until 9am.
00:50:50Nice.
00:50:50Yes, well.
00:50:56Come on.
00:50:57It's up here.
00:50:58Whichever! Come on!
00:51:03Go and get them up.
00:51:09Ow.
00:51:26Move over a bit.
00:51:28You've got most of the bait.
00:51:30You're pulling the covers off me.
00:51:33Leave it at you, too.
00:51:35Don't carry on like this all night.
00:51:38Tell him to stop pulling the covers off me.
00:51:41Well, at least stop pulling the covers off Albert.
00:51:44Well, tell him to get over to his own side of the baits.
00:51:46Albert, will you get over to your own side of the baits?
00:51:50Well, this is like spending a long weekend with Zippy and Bungle.
00:51:53Gold knows what Cassandra would say if she was here.
00:52:02She'd most probably say,
00:52:03Roddy, what's your uncle doing in bed with us?
00:52:07It's all right for you, Derek.
00:52:11This happens to be my first night away from Cassandra for a whole year.
00:52:15Well, I bet you were not glad.
00:52:21What's that supposed to mean?
00:52:23Is this the way you carry on when you're in bed with her?
00:52:26Well, of course it's not.
00:52:27So why are you giving me all this aggro?
00:52:30Because there is a great deal of difference
00:52:33between sleeping with Cassandra and kipping with you.
00:52:36Like what?
00:52:38Like...
00:52:38All right.
00:52:41Like she smells nice.
00:52:43Like she wears...
00:52:45things.
00:52:47Oi, oi, oi, woe back, woe back.
00:52:49And like she hasn't got a dopey white beard
00:52:52that keeps tickling me.
00:52:55See?
00:52:56You've whiten somebody up now.
00:53:01Rodney.
00:53:03Look, come on.
00:53:03It's only quarter past ten.
00:53:05Let's whip down the old Mardi Gras here.
00:53:07Have a couple of jars, you know.
00:53:09Scampi supper.
00:53:10What are you reading?
00:53:10What are you reading?
00:53:11No.
00:53:13Look, I promised Cassandra I wouldn't go out
00:53:16and I intend to keep that promise.
00:53:25Do you reckon she believed you?
00:53:29About what?
00:53:31When you said you wouldn't go out in a town.
00:53:33Well, of course she believed me.
00:53:36Why?
00:53:38Nothing.
00:53:41Uncle, you're not trying to suggest
00:53:43that if Cassandra thought that Rodney
00:53:45was going out in a razzle
00:53:46that she would go out in a razzle as well,
00:53:48are you?
00:53:53What, you mean what's good with a goose
00:53:54is good with a gander?
00:53:56Yeah.
00:53:57No.
00:53:58Oh.
00:54:01Cassandra wouldn't have gone out.
00:54:04How do you know that?
00:54:07Because I haven't gone out.
00:54:09Yeah, but how does she know that?
00:54:12Because...
00:54:13She just does, right?
00:54:15Our marriage is based on trust.
00:54:18Yeah, he's right.
00:54:20Cassandra wouldn't go out and join us up.
00:54:24She wouldn't have to
00:54:25if she got the flat to herself.
00:54:30So what?
00:54:31No, no, I just...
00:54:32No, I just meant
00:54:33if she felt a bit
00:54:34lonely,
00:54:36she could invite someone round.
00:54:39Yeah.
00:54:40Like that couple at your anniversary.
00:54:43Stephen and his wife.
00:54:45So what's wrong with that?
00:54:46Nothing.
00:54:46Nothing.
00:54:47No, it'd be a nice bit of company
00:54:48for Cassandra.
00:54:49She seems to get on well
00:54:50with that, Stephen.
00:54:51Of course they get on well.
00:54:56They work together at the bank.
00:54:59He is a colleague.
00:55:01In fact, he's more than a colleague.
00:55:02He's on top...
00:55:03He's her immediate superior.
00:55:08No, anyway,
00:55:18she couldn't have invited them two round
00:55:19cos Stephen's wife's gone away
00:55:20for the weekend.
00:55:21Do you remember?
00:55:22Oh, yeah.
00:55:29If that Stephen's been round my flat,
00:55:31I'll kill him.
00:55:31What?
00:55:33Now, what put that idea in your head?
00:55:37I don't know.
00:55:37It's just something that's been bugging me.
00:55:40Well, what do you want to do?
00:55:41You want to, you know,
00:55:42pop out for a drink
00:55:43and sort of talk about it?
00:55:46Yeah.
00:55:47Might make you feel better, Rodney.
00:55:49Yeah, well, I suppose I could manage a...
00:55:51This is a conspiracy, isn't it?
00:55:55You two are in league with each other,
00:55:57ain't you?
00:55:57You just want me to come to the nightclub with you
00:55:59and you want to bed to yourself.
00:56:01Well, it ain't going to work.
00:56:03I promised Cassandra I would not go out
00:56:06and I'm not going out,
00:56:07all right.
00:56:08All right, all right.
00:56:09Keep your hair on.
00:56:10Well, we was only jeering you up.
00:56:11We didn't mean any harm.
00:56:13All right.
00:56:13Well, let's just shut up about it
00:56:15and get some sleep.
00:56:15I do have an extra blanket,
00:56:23not freezing in here.
00:56:25It is a bit cold, isn't it?
00:56:27Cold?
00:56:28You bits of kids don't know the meaning of the word.
00:56:32You should have been with me on the Russian convoys.
00:56:35One night it was so cold,
00:56:37the flame on my lighter froze.
00:56:38Come on in, just one quick light, Al.
00:56:52Where have I seen that bird before?
00:56:54It's that soul.
00:56:59What's her name?
00:57:00The one you went out with for a while, though?
00:57:02It's Raquel, the stripper Graham.
00:57:04No, it is not.
00:57:06It is, though.
00:57:07Hmm?
00:57:08You look at the board.
00:57:09The great Raimondo and Raquel.
00:57:11It is her.
00:57:31Psst.
00:57:32Psst!
00:57:42Psst!
00:57:55Raquel!
00:57:58Boo!
00:57:59Boo!
00:58:02It's alright!
00:58:08Bloody clever!
00:58:18So I got back to England about six months ago.
00:58:21I wasn't sure what to do with myself.
00:58:23I haven't got any family except a brother in Milton Keynes, but we haven't spoken for years.
00:58:27So I saw my agent and she tied me in with Ray.
00:58:31Ray?
00:58:32The great Raimondo.
00:58:33Oh, yeah.
00:58:34He was working in a holiday camp down in Devon.
00:58:36His last assistant had walked out on him.
00:58:39Well, he's a bit of a pig.
00:58:41Anyway, after that we've got a three-month contract here.
00:58:45Well, it's not a march, but it's a job.
00:58:48Keeps a roof over my head.
00:58:49Yeah.
00:58:52I didn't mean to let you down, you know.
00:58:54I mean, I was on my way round to you when I was, um, unexpectedly arrested.
00:58:59I know.
00:59:00It's alright.
00:59:01You've already explained.
00:59:02Mm-hmm.
00:59:04Why didn't you write to me?
00:59:07Write to you?
00:59:09I thought you dumped me.
00:59:12I've got pride, Del.
00:59:15I've never written to the other blokes who've dumped me.
00:59:18I wasn't starting with you.
00:59:20Do you want to have a drink?
00:59:23No.
00:59:24I'm back on stage in a little while.
00:59:28There's been no-one else.
00:59:30I mean, since we split up.
00:59:32I haven't...
00:59:34You know, I've not been interested.
00:59:38No, no, nor me.
00:59:42No, no, honest.
00:59:44Yeah, alright, I believe you.
00:59:45Anyway, what are you going to do, uh, you know, when this contract's finished?
00:59:50I'm leaving the act.
00:59:52I can't stand Ray.
00:59:54He's got a temper.
00:59:55Mm-hmm.
00:59:56Sometimes he frightens me.
00:59:58Don't know where I'll go.
01:00:00Peckham's very nice this time of year.
01:00:03Is he?
01:00:04I know, a lovely little flat you can stay at and all.
01:00:07Well, maybe I'll try Peckham then.
01:00:11Thanks.
01:00:16Raquel.
01:00:19Would you give me your autograph?
01:00:21Get away!
01:00:23No, I'm meaning it straight, honest.
01:00:24I've never given an autograph before.
01:00:26Well, look, it's easy.
01:00:28All you've got to do, look, is just write your name.
01:00:34And your address.
01:00:38And your telephone number.
01:00:39All right.
01:00:40Get your pigeons back, all right?
01:00:41Yes, I did.
01:00:42Oh, good.
01:00:43Raquel.
01:00:44Don't know what the hell you were playing at on that stage.
01:00:45Don't you ever let that happen again.
01:00:46I'm sorry, Ray.
01:00:47I was distracted.
01:00:48Professionals are not distracted, love.
01:00:49You either get your act together or you find somewhere else.
01:00:50There's plenty more where you came from.
01:00:51We're on in ten minutes.
01:00:52All right, Ray.
01:00:53I'm coming.
01:00:54Do you want me to whack him for you?
01:00:55Eh?
01:00:56Eh?
01:00:57Please.
01:00:58Please.
01:00:59Please, stay out of it.
01:01:00The contract hasn't long to run, so all I want to do is keep him sweet.
01:01:03Besides, he's right.
01:01:05else there's plenty more where you came from we're on in 10 minutes all right ray i'm coming
01:01:12do you want me to whack him for you hey please please stay out of it
01:01:17contract hasn't long to run so all i want to do is keep him sweet
01:01:22besides he's right it was unprofessional of me
01:01:29i'll see you then yeah you've still got my address haven't you yeah
01:01:35yeah well you know you can write to me or phone me you know if you like
01:01:42you won't forget will you oh i'll never forget you down
01:02:05the most beautiful sound i ever heard
01:02:11keep your noise down
01:02:12cracker hell she's lovely though isn't she she's lovely isn't she yes she's lovely now shut up
01:02:21it's locked it's what locked oh that's right she said she locks it at 11. what time is it now
01:02:37it's 20 to 2. i'll just have to ring the bell you can't ring the bell you get mrs cresswell out of
01:02:45her coffin what we're gonna do then hey we can't hang around here till the morning can we
01:02:52dell if you wake her up she'll sink her teeth into our necks before you can say wooden steak
01:02:57you're frightened of her aren't you yes well i'm not well you ring the bell i'm gonna wipe you on the wall
01:03:10all right maybe there's another way out of this
01:03:25that's our room isn't it that one yeah i think so all right
01:03:42albert
01:03:43albert
01:03:46albert
01:03:46abandon ship
01:03:49throw something up at the window
01:03:56no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
01:04:10you're gonna go and roll something up the window
01:04:19have just been smashed i heard it from the police
01:04:40Hello?
01:04:44Oh, Raquel? It's Del Boy.
01:04:47Del? What do you want? It's two o'clock in the morning.
01:04:50Yeah, I know. Sorry to disturb you, sweetheart,
01:04:52but Rodney's been and got us into a bit of trouble.
01:04:55I've been guessing at ease.
01:04:57Yes, you did. It was your bright idea, wasn't it?
01:04:59You've done the bloody thing. I know, but you said...
01:05:02No, no, no, wait!
01:05:04What's wrong?
01:05:06Oh, we've been locked out of our digs
01:05:09and we got nowhere to kick for the night
01:05:11and we was wondering if you could put us up till the morning.
01:05:13It's a bit awkward, Del.
01:05:15Oh, Raquel's freezing out here.
01:05:18We just bumped into a brass monkey crying his eyes out.
01:05:23All right, then. Push the door and come up.
01:05:26Good girl, you know it makes sense.
01:05:39Oh, hello. Yeah, that's better, of course.
01:05:49His tater's out there.
01:05:51Sorry about this, Raquel.
01:05:53Well, that's okay. So what happened?
01:05:55Well, the old girl where we were staying, she locks her doors at 11.
01:05:59Well, I mean, we didn't leave your nightclub till gone one, did we?
01:06:02Well, I'm afraid an armchair and a settee is the best I can offer you.
01:06:05Oh, no, yeah, that's right. That's lovely. Yeah, thanks.
01:06:10Yeah, go on.
01:06:11No, that'd be lovely, Raquel.
01:06:13Yeah, it's all right. Look, we'll be away first thing in the morning
01:06:15because our new coach comes about nine o'clock.
01:06:18Listen, sweetheart, you won't give us something to warmly old cockles, can you?
01:06:22Yeah, okay. I'll make you a coffee.
01:06:28Oh, yeah, Custy, Custy.
01:06:32She's a blinding bird, isn't she, Rodney, eh?
01:06:34Well, Raquel, yeah, it's terrific, though.
01:06:36She's got a radiant smile. Have you noticed that?
01:06:38What, a radiant smile? Yeah.
01:06:40Yeah.
01:06:41Well, you can't miss it, can you? I mean, you know.
01:06:43I mean, when she walks in, she...
01:06:45Well, she lights up a room.
01:06:47Yeah.
01:06:48Most of your birds walk in and light up a fag.
01:06:51Yeah.
01:06:58She's straight as a die, you know, straight as a die.
01:07:00She don't mess around with other blokes, you know.
01:07:02What, are you saying Cassandra does?
01:07:04No, no, of course not, no.
01:07:06I've got nothing against the girl.
01:07:08It's all right, then, because if I thought you...
01:07:11Sorry.
01:07:12You're a touchy little git sometimes, don't you, eh?
01:07:14What I was just saying was that since Raquel met me,
01:07:18she hasn't been out with any other blokes.
01:07:21Well, she only met you two hours ago.
01:07:23Now, I don't mean this time, I mean like the first time.
01:07:28Oh, right.
01:07:29Yeah.
01:07:30She has been true unto me.
01:07:34Raquel, what's all the noise?
01:07:37The great Raimondo!
01:07:39What's you doing here?
01:07:40What am I doing here?
01:07:41We was locked out of our digs and Raquel said we could spend the night here,
01:07:44but we're going to go soon.
01:07:45Oh, did she?
01:07:46Well, we'll see about that.
01:07:47Raquel, what's the idea of letting strangers into the flat without even asking me?
01:07:51I'm going to kill him.
01:07:52No, stay calm, Eric.
01:07:54It's going to take a bloody good surgeon three or four hours to get his magic wand back.
01:08:00Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi.
01:08:02Now, come on, calm down.
01:08:05I want to know what the hell is going on there, Ant.
01:08:08Look, sit down.
01:08:09Look, I'm not having any...
01:08:10Sit down!
01:08:13Now, look, there's probably a perfectly simple explanation to this.
01:08:17Like what?
01:08:18Well, how the hell should I know?
01:08:21There is a simple explanation, Rodney.
01:08:23The great Raimondo's a bleeding bully boy, Raquel told me.
01:08:27He's got her trapped here.
01:08:28If she don't play ball with him, not only has she lost her job,
01:08:31but she's lost her home as well.
01:08:33That's blackmail, and I don't like that sort of thing.
01:08:35I want to sort it out right now.
01:08:36Oi, oi, you're not certain of anything.
01:08:38Don't jump to conclusions.
01:08:40Look, for all you know, them two might be...
01:08:44Oh, you know.
01:08:45What?
01:08:48I don't know.
01:08:51Look, just find out what the situation is first, right?
01:08:54Nice and easy, Del, right?
01:08:56Nice and easy.
01:09:00Right.
01:09:01Right, Ron, you're just going to go in there,
01:09:03and just want to ask a few questions,
01:09:05and you know, like, that's all.
01:09:07And what happens if you don't like the answers?
01:09:09Well, that's life, isn't it, eh?
01:09:15Just...
01:09:16I don't know where I stand then, won't I?
01:09:18Eh?
01:09:19Eh?
01:09:20All right.
01:09:21Excuse me, I'm totally sorry to bother you.
01:09:31I just wondered if we could have a little chat,
01:09:32see if we could come to some sort of a...
01:09:34an understanding.
01:09:35All right?
01:09:36That's the way, Del, nice and easy.
01:09:47Now, do you understand what I'm trying to say?
01:09:49Eh?
01:09:50Why the hell did you do that?
01:09:51It's all right, it's all right, Raquel, it's all right.
01:09:53You don't have to be frightened of the great Raimondo no more.
01:09:56Del boy is here.
01:10:03Rodney, I'll be back.
01:10:06Right.
01:10:07Raimondo,
01:10:08or can I just call you great, eh?
01:10:11Do you understand what I've been subtly trying to indicate?
01:10:15You are out, pal.
01:10:17Your lease has expired.
01:10:19This is nature's little way of trying to tell you
01:10:22to get your arse down the road a piece.
01:10:25Why don't you explain to him?
01:10:28He hasn't given me the chance.
01:10:30You better warn him, I was in the Territorials.
01:10:32I don't think that's going to cut a lot of arse with him.
01:10:35All right, there's your coat.
01:10:37There's your case.
01:10:39Right.
01:10:42And there's the front door.
01:10:43Would you prefer to take the more direct route?
01:10:45Can I just say something?
01:10:46Yes.
01:10:47All right, you can say something,
01:10:48you better make it quick and you better make it polite.
01:10:50There is a lady present.
01:10:51There is nothing going on between Raquel and me.
01:10:53Nothing going on between you two.
01:10:55A fellow and a bird share in a flat, there's nothing going on.
01:10:57What do you take me for?
01:10:58I assure you, it's the truth.
01:11:00You see, I'm...
01:11:01I'm...
01:11:02Raquel is not my type.
01:11:06What do you mean she's not your type?
01:11:08You could do a lot worse than that.
01:11:11This is Ray's room.
01:11:16This is my bedroom.
01:11:19Do you see what Ray is saying?
01:11:21If I was the last woman on God's earth, I still wouldn't be his type.
01:11:25Take your time, Dale.
01:11:38See, it's purely a financial situation.
01:11:40It's cheaper than it's paying for separate flats.
01:11:44Oh, you mean you're...
01:11:47Yes.
01:11:50Well, why didn't you say?
01:11:53That's not the sort of thing one drops into an introduction.
01:11:56Lord, I'm terribly sorry.
01:11:57What must you think of me?
01:11:59No, really.
01:12:00Over and done with.
01:12:01Well, you see, I didn't know.
01:12:03You didn't ask, did you?
01:12:05No, you see, I thought...
01:12:06Well, I thought...
01:12:07You see, I thought...
01:12:08I didn't know, Rodney, eh?
01:12:10Yeah.
01:12:11Yeah, you did.
01:12:12You see...
01:12:13Oh, dear.
01:12:14I do believe I may have dropped your suitcase out of the window.
01:12:18I'll fetch it.
01:12:19I could do with the air.
01:12:22No, you see, I'm...
01:12:24You see, I thought...
01:12:26No, no, no, Dale.
01:12:27You didn't think.
01:12:28You never think.
01:12:29You don't look.
01:12:30You don't listen.
01:12:31You don't notice any of the signs.
01:12:32You just go at it like a mad bull.
01:12:34Not only did it for you.
01:12:37Well, if that is supposed to make me feel better, it doesn't.
01:12:48I might publish your diaries one day, do I reckon that could be a winner.
01:12:53I don't believe you sometimes.
01:12:55Why did you do that?
01:12:58He who dares wins.
01:13:01Always been the same.
01:13:02Well, this time I reckon that he who dared cocked it right up.
01:13:14I know you did it for me but you were stupid and you were embarrassing.
01:13:22See you.
01:13:23See you, Dave.
01:13:24Hey.
01:13:25Hey.
01:13:26Runners.
01:13:27Got me.
01:13:28Here.
01:13:29Hey.
01:13:30Hey.
01:13:31Hey.
01:13:32Runners.
01:13:33Got me.
01:13:34Hey.
01:13:35Hey.
01:13:36Hey.
01:13:37Hey.
01:13:38Hey.
01:13:39Hey.
01:13:40Hey.
01:13:41Hey.
01:13:42Runners.
01:13:43Got me.
01:13:44Here.
01:13:45Hey.
01:13:46Hey.
01:13:47Hey.
01:13:48Come here, Monty.
01:13:49Come here, Monty.
01:13:50Listen.
01:13:51Are you a master of your own flat?
01:13:52Yeah, yeah.
01:13:53Okay.
01:13:54You're a man.
01:13:55Don't want any rules.
01:13:56No collars and lead.
01:13:57All right, then.
01:13:58All right.
01:13:59You've got to go in there and put your foot down with a firm hand.
01:14:01Let her know where she stands.
01:14:02All right?
01:14:03You just...
01:14:04You've got to sort it out.
01:14:05All right?
01:14:06Just, you know, sort it out.
01:14:07All right?
01:14:08That's it.
01:14:09Yeah.
01:14:10I'll see you then.
01:14:11Ta-da.
01:14:12Guys!
01:14:13I've got to go in there.
01:14:14arett!
01:14:16Hi.
01:14:17By Rapture.
01:14:18I've got to go in there.
01:14:19Yeah.
01:14:20Do you look special on him?
01:14:22Oh, fine, thanks.
01:14:23All right?
01:14:24Okay, I'll just...
01:14:25You've got a grab it.
01:14:26All right?
01:14:27All right?
01:14:29Let's grace it.
01:14:30I should say it before.
01:14:31I'll give見 you.
01:14:32All right.
01:14:33Guests magn Portal.
01:14:34I didn't expect you back this early.
01:14:50No, well, here I am.
01:14:54Cass, can we have a talk?
01:14:55I don't think this is an appropriate time, Roddy. Maybe later.
01:14:59Look, I really think we ought to sit down and discuss.
01:15:04It's a go.
01:15:07What are you doing here?
01:15:09Well, I was just passing.
01:15:11So how was Margate?
01:15:14Forget Margate. What are you doing in my flat?
01:15:18Hey, back off, Rod.
01:15:21I mean, what's the problem?
01:15:23Roddy, what's wrong?
01:15:25Well, I'll tell you the problem, shall I?
01:15:27It's something I've really wanted to do for a long time,
01:15:30but I've never got round to it, so...
01:15:32Let me run this past you, Stephen.
01:15:36Try and get your head round this.
01:15:40Now you know where I'm coming from, OK?
01:15:43Buddy.
01:15:43What have you done to Stephen?
01:15:51Yeah.
01:15:52Don't punch me on the boots.
01:15:54But what's she doing here?
01:15:56I thought she was going away for the weekend to her parents.
01:15:58She was, but there was a rail strike.
01:16:01Joanne brought this holiday brochure round for us.
01:16:03Do you see anything in it you like?
01:16:15Hello, sweetheart.
01:16:17How are you today?
01:16:19Oh, good.
01:16:21How was the great Raimondo?
01:16:23Oh, yeah, well, I'm sure he's heart of hearts, he understood.
01:16:27Now, we've been back about an hour.
01:16:29Yeah.
01:16:30Hmm?
01:16:31No, everyone's all right.
01:16:33Mm-hmm.
01:16:34We dropped Rodney off at his house, yeah.
01:16:38Cassandra?
01:16:40Nah, she'll be all right.
01:16:42She'll be as good as gold.
01:16:44Rodney's a bit of a charmer on the choir.
01:16:47Now he knows how to handle situations.
01:16:52Yes, I know, sometimes I wish I was a bit more like him at all.
01:16:55Yeah.
01:16:57Old Albert, he's feeling much better now.
01:17:00Yeah?
01:17:00Oh, didn't you hear?
01:17:02He got a whack on the head.
01:17:05I don't know.
01:17:06I don't know.
01:17:07The strangest thing, he was lying in bed last night.
01:17:14When all of a sudden, a rock came flying through the window.
01:17:19And it caught him a clancing blow on the head.
01:17:21I don't know.
01:17:24It's a mystery.
01:17:27No mystery to me.
01:17:29Buddy Yobbo's done it.
01:17:30They should be locked up.
01:17:31That's right, honk.
01:17:32That is absolutely right, yeah.
01:17:33Tell her what happened to Boyce and Mike when they was walking home from a nightclub.
01:17:37Yeah.
01:17:37What?
01:17:38What was that?
01:17:39Someone chucked a suitcase for a window.
01:17:44Caught Mike right on her shoulder.
01:17:48Fortunately, Boyce's head broke its form.
01:17:50It's a terrible old world, isn't it, eh, sweetheart?
01:17:57Listen, Raquel.
01:17:59Raquel, you have forgiven me now, haven't you, sweetheart?
01:18:02Oh, good.
01:18:03You don't make sense.
01:18:05Listen, I was thinking about taking the van out for a test drive next Saturday.
01:18:10Well, I'm fitting a new radio.
01:18:12I was thinking I might go down to Margit.
01:18:14I wouldn't be in a hurry to get home.
01:18:18I was just wondering if you could get the great Raimondo to do a disappearing act.
01:18:23Oh.
01:18:24Cush tea.
01:18:25Yeah.
01:18:26Oh, that's great.
01:18:28Yeah, all right, darling.
01:18:29I'll see you next Saturday, sweetheart.
01:18:31Yeah.
01:18:32All right.
01:18:32Bye for now.
01:18:33Bye.
01:18:34Lovely jubbly.
01:18:37Oi, what's your game?
01:18:39Want a cup of tea?
01:18:39Go and make one, you lady old sod.
01:18:41Go on.
01:18:48All right, bruv, see you all now.
01:18:50Behave yourself, Uncle Albert.
01:19:08Oh, you won't be going.
01:19:09Down to Margit.
01:19:11Don't forget your backers as big as the crudges are known.
01:19:15Down to Margit.
01:19:17We'll never feel the jelly noodles of the coffee store.
01:19:21Down to Margit.
01:19:23We'll go on the beer and we'll have a beer outside of the sea.
01:19:27Down to Margit.
01:19:30You can keep the host of ramen.
01:19:31I'm telling you, mate, my brother, have a day.
01:19:34Down to Margit, we're all my family.
01:19:36Yeah.
01:19:36You can keep the Costa Brava in all that palaver.
01:19:48Go in a parva.
01:19:49Delta Brava.
01:19:50Have a day down to Margit with all my family.
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