- 2 days ago
Tv, Only Fools And Horses S05E07 1986 - A Royal Flush
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TVTranscript
00:00Stick a bunny
00:30Stick a bunny
01:00Right now, these canteens are a very exclusive line, you can only buy these in Harrods, Lippides and Patels Multimart.
01:09Right now, take a look at that label, just take a look, what can't speak, can't lie.
01:13Alright darling, put your binoculars away, cos I can tell you exactly what it says.
01:17A manufacturer's recommended retail price, £42.99.
01:22Now I'm not going to...
01:23Nah, you could have printed them yourself.
01:24You what?
01:25I said you could have printed them yourself.
01:27Do me a favour, pal, do I look like Rupert Maxwell?
01:30No, go on, I don't want to tell you.
01:32Now listen, before I tell you how much I want for this wonderful canteen of cutlery,
01:36I want anyone of a nervous disposition, anyone with a weak heart to move along please,
01:40because I do not want to be held responsible, as I'm only insured for third party fire and theft.
01:45Right, now here we go, listen to me, here we go, a 36 piece canteen set of cutlery,
01:50made in Indonesia, handmade, genuine synthetic leather cake,
01:54manufacturer's recommended retail price, £42.99,
01:57yours for, first come first served, £3.50.
02:03What do you mean you're...
02:05Now listen, come on, you'll not get another bargain like this again?
02:08Yeah, I feel we don't get any guarantees with them.
02:10Yes you do, you do get a guarantee.
02:12Don't wait and annoy someone else for a month or two, will ya?
02:15Now look at these, take a look.
02:17Hello.
02:18Hi.
02:19This your first day in the market?
02:21Mm, first day.
02:23Thought I hadn't seen you here before.
02:28It's all your own work?
02:29Mm, afraid so.
02:30Oh nice, it's really good, you know.
02:33Do you really think so?
02:35Well it's awfully sweet of you.
02:37I'm an artist, I went away to college for a while.
02:40Really?
02:41I was at the Milan School of Art for two years, then I had a spell at the Sorbonne.
02:45Where were you?
02:47Basingstoke.
02:49Basingstoke?
02:50I don't think I've heard of it.
02:53It's a big town in Hampshire.
02:55Oh no, I meant that I hadn't heard of the Basingstoke College of Art.
02:58Ah, ah, it's quite famous.
03:01Well, in Basingstoke, you know.
03:04Oh, by the way, my name is Rodney.
03:07Victoria.
03:08Well, Vicky.
03:09Right, come on then ladies, come on now, make your neighbours jobs.
03:12Look, only the finest steel goes into making this premier cutlery, producing the sharpest cutting edge you've ever experienced.
03:20Yeah, but how do we know that?
03:22Well run your wrist gently down the blade and you'll find out.
03:26All right, old boy.
03:28All right.
03:29All right, Trick, come on.
03:31I'd rather have shingles than these knives and forks.
03:34At least you can get rid of shingles.
03:36Have these with you, Trick.
03:37None at worst.
03:38Have you?
03:39I have it.
03:40All right, listen to me.
03:41I'll let you have them at cost, all right?
03:43Now that's three quid a box.
03:44Now come on, you know it makes sense.
03:46Three quid?
03:47Here, I'll have one of them, Del.
03:56What do you mean you'll have one of them?
03:58Three pounds, they're a bargain.
04:00Trigger.
04:01Those are the ones that you sold me last week for a nick of reach.
04:07No, they ain't the same.
04:09Mine didn't have their one.
04:14All right, come on, listen.
04:15Now listen, I've got to get rid of this stuff now, because I...
04:20All right, quick, away you go.
04:21Everyone, everyone, go on, before you get your collars felt.
04:23Go on, away you go.
04:26Look at that stupid little dipstick.
04:39Quick, quick, quick.
04:41Listen, just do exactly as I say.
04:45You are looking for the Hilton Hotel?
04:49Si, Hilton Hotel.
04:52Turn left at the top of the road.
04:56Si.
04:57And you'll see a bus stop.
05:00Si.
05:01Take the 159 to Park Lane, and that is where the Hilton Hotel is.
05:11Oh.
05:12Si.
05:13Thank you, John.
05:14Bonsoir.
05:21Don't get many tourists round this way, eh, officer?
05:24Hi, officer.
05:25No.
05:27Especially tourists that speak three different languages, all at once.
05:34How much is that one?
05:35That's 50 pounds.
05:36Oh.
05:37And what about the one next to it?
05:40That's 85.
05:42Oh.
05:44Do you mind if I give you a bit of advice, Vicky?
05:47See, people round here don't pay 85 pounds for a painting.
05:51People round here don't pay 85 pounds for a car.
05:55Literally everybody has paintings in their homes.
05:57Yeah, but they don't get them from galleries and what have you.
06:00They get them from British home stores and prize bingo, you know.
06:04I wouldn't need to pick the wrong market here.
06:06You might go down and have a crack at Portobello Road.
06:08You might be in with a shout, then.
06:10Hmm.
06:11Perhaps you're right.
06:13Oh, well.
06:14Nothing ventured.
06:15Would you be in absolute love and help me take this stuff back to my car?
06:21Oh.
06:22Well, I'd like to, but I'm a bit busy with my...
06:25Ah.
06:27Well, you must have sold in early and gone for something too late, eh?
06:31Well, in that case, I'm at your service, miss.
06:33Oh, that's awfully sweet of you.
06:36I'm sorry, I didn't...
06:38Oh, Rodney.
06:39What's your dive?
06:40Oh, my name is Rodney. He's just very fake.
06:46I see.
06:47What line of business are you in, Rodney?
06:49I'm a partner in a... in a partnership.
06:52Me and my brother, we buy and sell this and that.
06:56I envy you.
06:57It must be wonderful to work in the market every day.
07:00I find it very stimulating.
07:02It's all the hustle and bustle and all the lovely, lovely characters that one sees.
07:07Of course, I know that they're not all, Rodney.
07:10Did you spot that noisy little person selling the tatty cutlery?
07:14Yeah.
07:15That's my brother.
07:17Look, I'm frightfully sorry.
07:18Look, I mean, when I said that he's noisy...
07:20No, no, no, you're right, he is noisy.
07:22He's always been noisy.
07:24I bet he's as good as gold, really, you know.
07:27I sort of look after him.
07:29I see.
07:31I haven't got any brothers or sisters.
07:32No.
07:33Do you want him?
07:34Er, no, thank you.
07:37Well, here's the old crate.
07:38Oh, nice car.
07:42Yes, I got it for a birthday, yes.
07:44Yeah?
07:46I've got a Nick Kershaw LP.
07:47Right.
07:48Well, I'm off for something to eat.
07:49I'll see you around here, Vicky.
07:50Where do you lunch?
07:51Lunch?
07:52Oh, I usually go down to Fatty Thumb.
07:53The Fatty Thumb?
07:54Well, yeah, it's Sid's calf, really.
07:55But we call it the Fatty Thumb just out of affection, you know.
07:56May I join you?
07:57You?
07:58At the Fatty Thumb?
07:59I don't think you'd like it, Victoria.
08:00Yeah, it's all steam and bacteria.
08:01It's horrible, really.
08:02Do you know, Rodney?
08:03I get the feeling that you're an inverted snob.
08:04Come on.
08:05Jump in and I'll show you down there.
08:06You won't like it, Victoria.
08:07You won't like it, Victoria.
08:08I don't like it, and I'm a regular.
08:09I'm sorry.
08:10We call it the Fatty Thumb just out of affection, you know.
08:11May I join you?
08:12You?
08:13At the Fatty Thumb?
08:14Oh, I don't think you'd like it, Victoria.
08:16You know, it's all steam and bacteria.
08:18It's horrible, really.
08:19Do you know, Rodney, I get the feeling that you're an inverted snob.
08:24Come on.
08:25Jump in and I'll show you down there.
08:28You won't like it, Victoria.
08:32I don't like it and I'm a regular.
08:35Iron chips, fried chips and peas.
08:38Let's bubble beans toss it.
08:39Oh, there you go, Rodney.
08:40Don't get your tea, sir.
08:42Two freakin' toast, bacon and egg and a slice.
08:46Two eggs, toast and chips.
08:50Sorry.
08:51Two teas, fried and toast.
08:53Well, here we go then, Vicky.
08:57I think it's absolutely lovely in here.
09:00Oh, yes.
09:02It's good, isn't it?
09:04Oi, this machine's broke again, Sid.
09:06You wouldn't keep tilting the sodding thing.
09:08It wouldn't break, would it?
09:09Heard a chicken...
09:11So you're not from round Peckham, why, then?
09:13No.
09:14I was born and raised up in Berkshire.
09:17I've been in London for about three months now.
09:21Have you always lived around here?
09:22Yeah, always.
09:23I've been wanting to go to London for ages.
09:26But Berkshire's so boring.
09:29Boring Berkshire, I call it.
09:32I wanted to be near the art galleries.
09:35I suppose you're always in them.
09:37Well, not always, no.
09:40I did actually go up to the National Gallery a couple of weeks back.
09:44But I suddenly realised, and I am ashamed to admit it,
09:47that in all the years it's been housed here,
09:49I've never actually seen a Da Vinci cartoon.
09:52Well, I'm ashamed to admit it, but I haven't seen it either.
09:56What did you think of it?
09:58Well, there was shop.
10:01But, you know, I'm going back.
10:03Why don't we go together?
10:05Oh, yeah.
10:07Krusty.
10:08Krusty?
10:09Yeah, it means, um, you know, wonderful, terrific.
10:12Oh, frightfully, Albert Square.
10:15So shall we say tomorrow at noon?
10:17I don't know if I'll ever get time off work.
10:20But I thought you said you were a partner.
10:23Oh, yeah, well, yeah.
10:26Yeah, yeah, I'm a partner, yeah, but, um...
10:29Yeah, all right, then.
10:30Well, no, I'll give myself the day off, eh?
10:33Right, tomorrow at noon, then.
10:35Krusty.
10:39Do you like Oprah, Rodney?
10:42Of course you do, I can tell.
10:44Yeah.
10:45There's a gala performance of Carmen
10:47on the Theatre Royal Drury Lane next week.
10:50I've tried everywhere to get tickets,
10:53but it's absolutely impossible.
10:54Possible, yeah, I know.
10:56I've tried not.
10:59Um, I don't mind me saying this,
11:02but, uh, I didn't really think that, you know,
11:05Peckham would be your scene.
11:07Oh, no.
11:08I absolutely adore this area.
11:11It's so rough and raw and vibrant.
11:15I saw a woman spit yesterday.
11:17You see, I was brought up in this tiny community
11:22in the wilds of boring Berkshire.
11:25My world was one of nannies and live-in tutors
11:29and incarners and village fates.
11:32I didn't even realise there was a real world
11:35until I decided to make art my life.
11:37Egg and chips.
11:39My mother was a painter.
11:40She had some work exhibited at the Royal Academy.
11:43Exaustage and chips. Exaustage beans and chips.
11:45What?
11:46Oh, my God.
11:48The Royal Academy.
11:50Oh, does she still paint?
11:52No.
11:53No.
11:55What's she taking around?
11:56You see, she died when I was 12.
12:00A skiing accident in Austria.
12:02Oh, look, I'm...
12:03I'm really sorry, Vicky.
12:05I know how much that must have hurt you.
12:07I don't think so, Rodney.
12:08Oh, yeah, I do.
12:10See, same thing getting to me when I was only five.
12:13Five chips, five chips and peas.
12:14Oh, Rodney, how absolutely awful for you.
12:20Where was your mother skiing?
12:23No, Mum won't scare you.
12:25According to what the rest of the family tell me,
12:27Mum didn't do a lot of skiing.
12:29Lash, you just did something wrong with herself.
12:32Oh, I see.
12:33Sorry.
12:35Oh, Lord, look at the time.
12:37I must, Lash, otherwise they start worrying.
12:39I do.
12:40Special branch.
12:44Special branch?
12:46Yes, it's all incredibly tedious.
12:48They have to protect us.
12:50Well, Daddy mainly.
12:52What is he?
12:53A supergrove?
12:54You know him, silly.
12:56He's...
12:57Oh, he's terribly boring.
12:59He's the Duke of Mailbury.
13:04The Duke of Mailbury?
13:06Yes, I said it was terribly boring.
13:08Look, I must dash.
13:10See you tomorrow at the National.
13:14Yeah.
13:15Kushti.
13:16Ciao.
13:25Mailbury.
13:28Ma...
13:29Mailbury!
13:30I don't know why you couldn't have left it till tomorrow.
13:42Oh, leave it out will you, Albert.
13:44You've done more whining than a bleeding spin dryer.
13:47What in his back, little boy?
13:49Someone must have paid the ransom.
13:51Hmm.
13:52And where have you been?
13:53I went down the library.
13:54What for?
13:55Well, see, if my shoes was done, what do you think I went down the library for?
13:58I went to get a book, didn't I?
14:00Books?
14:01Teach yourself book, is it?
14:02It is a genealogical and heraldic history of British peers.
14:04I'll tell you this much, Rodney.
14:05You ain't gonna get no wages at the end of the week.
14:06Oi.
14:07Oi, come on, Del.
14:08That bird I was talking to in the market, I said I'd take her out tomorrow and I'm potless,
14:09ain't I?
14:10Yeah, well, that's your problem, innit?
14:11Oh, well, thanks a bunch.
14:12Oh, that's gonna be right embarrassing, innit?
14:13Especially with her coming from a money background.
14:14Yeah, I know.
14:15It's a tough old work.
14:16What do you mean, money background?
14:17Oh, I know.
14:18It's a tough old work.
14:19What do you mean, money background?
14:20Oh, I know.
14:21It's a tough old work.
14:22What do you mean, money background?
14:23It's a tough old work.
14:24It's a tough old work.
14:25Oh, well, thanks a bunch.
14:26Oh, that's gonna be right embarrassing, innit?
14:28Especially with her coming from a money background.
14:30Yeah, I know.
14:31It's a tough old work.
14:32What do you mean, money background?
14:34Her old man's very wealthy.
14:36Is he?
14:37Well, what's his game?
14:38I've got to tell someone, Del.
14:40But you've got to promise me it's to go none further.
14:42Yeah, no, no, no, no.
14:43Of course not.
14:44Just between us two.
14:45Have you ever heard of the Duke of Malbury?
14:49The Duke of...
14:51Oh, leave it out, you twonk.
14:53It is God's honest truth, Del.
14:55No.
14:56Del, I cross my heart and hope to die in a cellar full of rats.
15:00What do you mean, that little girl?
15:02Like her daddy?
15:03Honest.
15:04It's for real.
15:05Bloody hell.
15:06But it's got to be our little secret, though.
15:08Well, yeah, of course it is.
15:09Did you hear that, Albert?
15:11You know that little sort that Rodney's been chatting up down the market?
15:14What about her?
15:16Her father only owns a pub.
15:18And you're pulling my leg.
15:20No, no, it's straight up.
15:22It's the Duke of Malbury, isn't it?
15:23It's over Nunhead way, isn't it, Woodney?
15:24No, no, listen.
15:25He don't own the Duke of Malbury.
15:28He is the Duke of Malbury.
15:30He's an ability, isn't he?
15:31You know, he's a peer of the realm.
15:33Oh, leave it out, Rodders.
15:35Look, I've seen a picture of the real Duke of Malbury in the sporting life.
15:38He owns that horse, Ampsom Samson.
15:41Second favourite for the Derby next year.
15:43And that little girl, she don't look nothing like him.
15:45She looks like the horse, maybe.
15:47Not him.
15:48She's no more an ability than you are.
15:49No.
15:50Have a look at that, then.
15:52What?
15:53Blimey, I don't believe it.
15:56It's her.
15:57That's the girl from the market.
15:58Which one?
15:59Which one?
16:00Look, the one without the top hat on.
16:02She's standing there next to Princess Anne at a rodeo or something.
16:06Here and here and all, right?
16:08Her father, right, is a sort of second cousin to the Queen.
16:11Whoop!
16:12Vicky's in here and all.
16:14Here you are.
16:15Her proper title is Lady Victoria Marsham Hales.
16:19Only child of Sir Henry Marsham.
16:22KBE, MVO, MC and Bar.
16:26Fourteenth Duke of Malbury.
16:29Family home, er, Covington House, Upper Stansmere, Berkshire.
16:34You ain't had a go at her, have you?
16:38No, I ain't.
16:39Well, you keep your mucky mitts off her.
16:41Otherwise, we'll have her mother round here throwing royal prerogatives all over the shop.
16:45I doubt it.
16:46My mum died in a skiing accident about nine years ago.
16:49All right, then.
16:50Answer me this.
16:51If she is a titled lady, what's she going out with him for?
16:55He is giving me the right hand, Bill.
16:57No, it's all right.
16:58No, listen, Albert.
16:59No, Rodney's got some very nice qualities.
17:02I mean, she may have been smitten by his rakish charms or his boyish good looks.
17:07On the other hand, she could be a poshtart fancying a bit of scrag.
17:11I never can tell her.
17:16Now, wait a minute, though.
17:17Wait a minute.
17:18I got it now.
17:20Got it.
17:21Listen, it's a well-known fact, you know, that every three or four hundred years, the old
17:26aristocracy, they've got to bring in a bit of the old, you know, common stock to water
17:30the old blue blood down a bit.
17:32What?
17:33And they can't do better than that.
17:35Cracking my only head in a minute.
17:36No, no, no, it's all right.
17:37No, no, listen.
17:38Listen to me.
17:39I don't care what you say.
17:40I bet you any money you like that her old man has told her to find herself an husband
17:44and Rodney's in the frame.
17:46Rodney, ask her to marry you.
17:49I don't want to get married.
17:51Look, just think about it for a minute, will you?
17:54Think of all the advantages.
17:56Listen, that Vicky or whatever her name is, she's the sole heiress of the Malbury fortunes,
18:01right?
18:02She's got no brothers or sisters.
18:03And the old girl popped her clogs halfway down a giant slalom, right?
18:06So when the old Duke finally says, you know, like, bonsoir to this mortal girl, she'll become
18:11the Duchess.
18:12And do you know what that means?
18:15What?
18:17Now what?
18:18Come here.
18:20I want you to remember this moment.
18:22Because we could be looking at the future Duke of Malbury.
18:25He don't look like a peer of the realm.
18:28Well, eh?
18:29Well, no, not at the moment he don't, no.
18:30But stick a coronet on his head, bit of vermin, get rid of them boots, he's a dead ringer.
18:34That won't be a joke.
18:35Listen, think of all the advantages.
18:38You'll be sitting in the House of Lords.
18:40Yeah.
18:41Well, we can watch you on the telly having a kip.
18:45Look, me and Vicky, well, we're more mates than anything else.
18:50We have one mutual interest, art.
18:53Other than that, we're worlds apart.
18:54I mean, she wants us to go to places like, well, the opera.
18:58Why, what's on?
18:59Carmen or something, it's a gala performance.
19:02Why don't you take her then?
19:03Where do I do that?
19:05I don't know the first thing about operas.
19:07And besides, it's impossible to get tickets, innit?
19:10If you want tickets, you shall have tickets, cinders.
19:15Al, from Limpy Lionel, the ticket's out.
19:18You can get tickets for anything.
19:19Gonna cost Al.
19:22What does money matter?
19:24What does money matter compared with little Rodney's happiness?
19:28I still don't understand how you managed it.
19:30Even Daddy couldn't get tickets for tonight, and he tried everywhere.
19:35Oh, it was nothing, really.
19:37I have, let's just say, contacts.
19:39I hope they're not forgeries.
19:49Good evening, Lady Victoria.
19:52Hello.
19:53Thank you, sir.
19:54Thank you, sir.
19:55Thank you, sir.
19:56Have a nice evening.
19:57Oh, yeah.
19:58All right, thank you.
19:59Thank you very much.
20:00I'll get some programs, shall I?
20:01Uh, two programs, please.
20:02That's eight pounds, sir.
20:03Oh.
20:04All right.
20:05All right.
20:07Thank you very much.
20:08I'll get some programs, shall I?
20:09Uh, two programs, please.
20:10That's eight pounds, sir.
20:11Oh.
20:12All right.
20:13Rodney, I know you'll think I'm a frightful old boy, but you know you've invited me to a soccer
20:20match on Saturday.
20:21Oh, yeah?
20:22Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to cancel.
20:24Oh, no, no, no.
20:25Oh, no.
20:26Oh, no.
20:27There you go.
20:28Well, sure.
20:29There you go.
20:30Rodney, I know you'll think I'm a frightful old boy, but you know you've invited me to
20:36a soccer match on Saturday.
20:37Oh, yeah?
20:38Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to cancel.
20:41Oh.
20:42Oh, worse.
20:43There's no problem, Dickie.
20:44I must go home, you see.
20:46Daddy's invited a few friends down to the estate for the weekend, a shoot, and then dinner.
20:49I simply have to be there.
20:53I am the lady of the house these days.
20:55That's all right. I understand.
21:00Would you like to join us as my guest?
21:04Oh.
21:05Um, well...
21:07You could stay overnight, and then on Sunday I'd take you for a wonderful lunch to our little local.
21:13Er, yes.
21:16Thank you, Vicky. I'd love to.
21:18Oh, that's super.
21:23Can I get you a drink?
21:29A very dry white wine and soda, please.
21:31All right. I won't be a minute, then.
21:40Um, could I have two very dry white wine and sodas, please?
21:51Rocky! Brothers!
21:53It's all right. Oh, excuse me. Excuse me.
21:57Ah.
21:57All right, bruv? I was getting a bit worried, you know. The whole time was creeping on there.
22:00All right, darling?
22:01They reckon it's going to be a good one tonight.
22:04Oi.
22:04John, when you finish your dinner break, can we have some service up here?
22:08Do you know?
22:08He's already serving me.
22:11Who is he?
22:11Oh, right.
22:12Er, oi.
22:12Cooper Libra in there for moi.
22:14All right?
22:16Yeah, what the bloody hell are you doing here?
22:18Oh, that's charming, that is, isn't it?
22:19Hey, that's charming.
22:20Well, there were four tickets, right, up for grabs.
22:24You know me.
22:25I love a bit of opera.
22:26You?
22:26The only opera you've ever seen was Tommy, and that was on video.
22:31What?
22:32Oh.
22:33Er, Victoria, this is my brother Derek.
22:36Oh, hello. How nice to meet you.
22:37And you.
22:38And may I say, Victoria, how particularly lovely that you are looking tonight.
22:45I didn't realise that you were going to be joining us.
22:48Oh, yes.
22:49Well, there were four tickets available, you see.
22:51And our Baltimore.
22:52Oh, yes.
22:53Rodney Baltimore.
22:53Oh, well done, Tim, you know.
22:54He's generous to a fault.
22:57Well, cheers.
23:01I don't believe it.
23:03What don't you believe?
23:05Look, this is the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, right?
23:09And somebody has ordered a kiss of green.
23:11Oh, well done.
23:12There you are.
23:13Oh, well done.
23:13Er, there.
23:18You saucy git.
23:19That's my bird.
23:22Dally, aren't you?
23:23It is.
23:23It's Junie.
23:24You know, June.
23:25She lives over in Zimbabwe house.
23:27I think I have to go out with her dollhouse.
23:30I know.
23:31Don't worry.
23:32She won't say a word.
23:34Oi, Junie.
23:35Here, girl.
23:38I'm not sure where you got to.
23:40Oh, them carsies and half posh.
23:43Yes, well, you always go to the best place even with me, sweetheart.
23:46Oh, allow me to introduce you.
23:50Lady Victoria, I want you to meet June Snell.
23:54Good evening, June.
23:55Hello.
23:56You all right?
23:59Lady Victoria, remember?
24:03Oh, yeah.
24:06It's a great pleasure to meet you, Mum.
24:10Oh, no, please.
24:15I mean, it really isn't necessary.
24:18No, no, no, no.
24:18Please, Victoria.
24:20Junie likes to keep herself in perspective, don't you, girl?
24:22Oh, yeah.
24:23I think it's best.
24:25Oh, of course, you know Rodney, don't you?
24:27Whatcha?
24:28Whatcha?
24:29He used to go out with my daughter, Debbie.
24:34Sue, you're an opera buff as well, are you, June?
24:37I saw one once on BBC Two.
24:40Our telly had gone up the wall.
24:41It was the only channel we could get.
24:43It was that world-famous foreign bloke singing, weren't there?
24:46Oh, yeah.
24:46Wonderful voice.
24:48Oh, yes.
24:48Very talented.
24:50Great big fat git, wasn't he?
24:52Yeah.
24:53Couldn't have put a song across, though, couldn't he?
24:55Of course, this is my most favourite opera, this one, you know, Carmen.
25:00Oh, love it.
25:02Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro.
25:05Um, that's from the Barbara of Seville.
25:08Oh, of course it is, of course it is.
25:10I don't know what's the matter with me.
25:12Now, always get those two mixed up, you know, the Barbara of Seville and Carmen.
25:15Well, Carmen's an air dryer, isn't he?
25:17Yeah, well, of course it is, yeah.
25:23God, he's rung that one early, hasn't he?
25:25Yeah, so we've got time for that one, haven't we?
25:27So, what's that?
25:27White wine and soda.
25:29Joanie.
25:29Oh, Benedictine and lemonade.
25:33Excuse me.
25:34The bell is simply to tell the audience that the performance is about to begin.
25:42Oh, yeah, we knew that.
25:44Oh, yeah, knew that.
25:45I really think we ought to be taking our seats.
25:49Right, well, may I?
25:58Right, come on.
25:58Come on.
26:00It's a blinding opera, isn't it?
26:24It's all right, I suppose.
26:25It doesn't get going, does it?
26:29Well, it's not supposed to get going.
26:31I mean, it's culture.
26:34You don't come to an opera to enjoy it.
26:36You come because it's there.
26:40Oh, I didn't know that.
26:43Oh, yeah.
26:44Shh.
26:44What's that about?
26:48I don't know.
26:49Maybe there's someone talking somewhere.
26:53Maybe.
26:55Some people have got no protocol.
26:57I know.
26:57I've got a few licorice old soap left.
27:04What if you've got one with hundreds and thousands, on it?
27:08Only one.
27:09Oh.
27:12Let's have a look.
27:13Rodney.
27:25Oh.
27:27It's one of the licorice old soap.
27:30Wow.
27:33Vicky.
27:35Vicky.
27:36Shh.
27:39Here.
27:40There's only a couple left.
27:41We might as well finish them off.
27:42No, not them.
27:46Shh.
27:59Where's Del?
28:01He's gone out to the ice cream lady.
28:06Oh.
28:06Rodney.
28:19Rodney.
28:19Shh.
28:26Rodney.
28:26We're over here, Dale.
28:31Excuse me.
28:32What a tarp.
28:33Thanks, girl.
28:33Excuse me.
28:34Oh, is that your fault?
28:36Yes.
28:37Oh, of course.
28:38Yes, sir.
28:46Rodney.
28:48What?
28:50Do you want an ice cream?
28:52No.
28:53I bought you one.
28:55I don't want it.
29:00Vicky.
29:01Yes?
29:02Do you want an ice cream?
29:04No, thank you.
29:05I don't eat ice cream.
29:07And I bought it for you.
29:08She don't eat ice cream.
29:09I've never, ever liked ice cream.
29:13Mum.
29:15What's supposed to do with these two?
29:17Well, you can stick them where the sun don't shine as far as I'm concerned.
29:20As long as you sh...
29:21I am sorry.
29:30I am so, so sorry.
29:32But it wasn't your fault, Rodney.
29:35I'm not blaming you and you shouldn't blame yourself.
29:38No, but if...
29:39Oh, God.
29:40A breath of fresh air, madam.
29:49Feel as right as rain.
29:51Thank you very much, doctor.
29:58Well, the Phantom of the Opera strikes again, eh?
30:01Still, I don't suppose it's the first time someone's been sick in there, eh, Victoria?
30:04I honestly don't know.
30:05I haven't read a full history of the building.
30:08Well, do you fancy a bite to eat?
30:10No.
30:10I'm really not very high.
30:19Is everything all right, Miss Victoria?
30:22Not really, Eric.
30:23But not to worry.
30:31Oh, well.
30:32Come on, Junie.
30:32Let's get you back home.
30:35I'm sorry about tonight, dear boy.
30:38I don't know what come over me.
30:41Lordy, the woman in front of you.
30:47Is this the shop you was on about?
30:49Yep.
30:50Bill, when you said, let's go and get some clothes for my weekend, I thought you meant we'd pop down to Solbros in Ballum for an airy shirt or something.
30:57I didn't realise I didn't realise I had to get dressed up like a free-range wally.
31:01Listen to me, Rodney.
31:03I'm not having you going down to Covington House decked out like a Bob Geldof look-alike.
31:07I mean, have you had a look at yourself recently?
31:10I've seen wounds dress better than you.
31:14I'm not having anyone look down on you.
31:16You're as good as them and I want them to see that you are.
31:19I appreciate that, Delton.
31:22But putting me in a pair of green wellies will not turn me into Archduke Ferdinand.
31:26I will be Rodney Trotter in a pair of green wellies.
31:30And that is another thing...
31:31I can't do that.
31:32Another thing, they're having a shooting party, ain't they?
31:35I disagree with blood sports.
31:36Do me a favour.
31:38You'll never hit one of them grouse things.
31:40They're fast.
31:41Yeah, tell them you've got a wart on your trigger finger.
31:44Ain't going to say nothing about warts, Albert.
31:47The old Duke would love that, wouldn't he, eh?
31:49His only child marrying someone covered in warts.
31:51You should say nothing about warts, Rodney.
31:53No problem, I assure you.
31:55I have to go, Sir Alan.
31:57Something's just come in.
31:59I mean, up.
32:01Goodbye.
32:02Good afternoon, gentlemen.
32:05May I help you?
32:07Well, I hope so.
32:08I want to buy some gear.
32:09I see.
32:10And what is Sir's pleasure?
32:13Well, birds and curry, I suppose.
32:16I feel like I'm a little chit-chat.
32:18I want you to tog him out for a weekend in the country, right?
32:20That's the acking jacket, stout brogues and all the exes.
32:23Now, look.
32:24Got a monkey there.
32:26That should cover it.
32:28Yes.
32:28Yes, of course.
32:29Er, if you'd like to come this way, sir.
32:33Right.
32:33Come on, Rodney.
32:33Let's sort this out.
32:35Of course, he's got some very strange measurements, you know.
32:37Put!
32:40Good shot, you guys.
32:41I was rather pleased with that myself.
32:46Are you hungry?
32:51Oh, no, no, I'm fine, thank you.
32:53Well, there's plenty to eat.
32:54Well, perhaps I'll have some in a moment.
32:56Well, what do you think of it so far?
33:00Oh, very interesting.
33:02You know, I'm really enjoying myself.
33:05Rodney, you keep on saying thank you.
33:08Do I?
33:09Yes.
33:10I just thought I'd mention it.
33:12I hope you don't mind.
33:13No.
33:15Sorry.
33:16Don't mention it.
33:19I said that one on purpose, though.
33:20I knew you did.
33:22Have you ever used a double-barreled before?
33:27Oh, no, no.
33:29Well, I had an air gun, you know, when I was a kid.
33:32Would you like to come?
33:34No, no, you're all right.
33:35I'll just watch.
33:36Come on, don't be such an old stick in the mud.
33:39Daddy, do you have a gun there for Rodney?
33:43Yes, yes, of course, darling.
33:44Patterson, let's have that purdy, though, will you?
33:46Yes, Your Grace.
33:48Have you done this sort of thing before, Rodney?
33:50Uh, no.
33:51Well, I'll just watch, if you like.
33:52Oh, nonsense, nonsense.
33:54There's nothing to it.
33:55Now, look, this is what you do to load.
33:56You close the gun, right?
33:57There's a safety catch.
33:59You let that off.
34:00Both triggers.
34:01What you do is keep this close in because of the kick
34:03and then get the two balance.
34:04Get both eyes open, cover it, and then fire.
34:06All right?
34:07Oh, right, yeah.
34:08Thank you, Your Grace.
34:09Oh, Henry, Henry, please.
34:10Henry, thank you.
34:12Would you like these?
34:13Oh.
34:14Yeah, thank you.
34:29What do I say to him?
34:30No!
34:31Put him down!
34:32What?
34:33No!
34:33Put him down!
34:34Victoria!
34:35Put him down!
34:36No!
34:36Put him down!
34:37No!
34:37Put him down!
34:39Don't hold me!
34:40You can't!
34:40Put him down!
34:41Look, I'm sorry, old boy, but when you have a gun, you never, never point at...
34:47I just realized what I did.
34:48I'm sorry.
34:49Sorry.
34:50Yes, well, it's probably my fault.
34:51I'm sorry.
34:52I should have told you.
34:52All right?
34:53Like that.
34:54Now, when you're ready, just say pull, and then...
34:58Yes, all right?
34:59Pull, right.
35:01Yes.
35:01Yes, all right.
35:02Thanks.
35:10Pull!
35:10Is he of a nervous disposition?
35:24Not as far as I know.
35:27Would you like me to take that for you, sir?
35:31What?
35:32Oh.
35:37Well, that was a jolly good try, Brunley.
35:53Are you all right?
35:56Yes, thank you.
35:57You seem somewhat shocked.
35:59It wasn't the gun, was it?
36:02No.
36:02No, I'm fine.
36:04I'll get you a drink.
36:10Come on, where are you?
36:14I know you're out there somewhere, you free-wheel jello.
36:26I'm sure it was there.
36:28Oh, I saw it.
36:39Alley-ho there, brothers!
36:41Good morning, Charlie Ho-dow.
37:02Couldn't have picked a better day for it, could you?
37:04Go away!
37:09Hello again.
37:10I didn't expect to see you here.
37:12Oh.
37:13Well, I didn't expect to see me here.
37:15And I didn't expect to see me here, either.
37:18I was supposed to be Darren Alicia playing in a crib championship.
37:22Still that, he drags me all the way out to bloody Berkshire.
37:25Oh, cheers, darling.
37:26I needed that.
37:27Mmm.
37:28Mmm.
37:30It's lovely.
37:31Listen, let me explain what happened, right?
37:33Well, I was tidying up the flat, and guess what I found in one of the wardrobes, eh?
37:39Only his evening suit.
37:41Well, I thought to myself, he's left it behind.
37:44He can't go to dinner dressed like that.
37:45So I had no option but to drive it down here.
37:48Oh, I see.
37:50Well, that was very nice of you.
37:52Wasn't it, Rodney?
37:54Yeah.
37:56Daddy!
37:57You bloody liar!
37:59I packed my evening suit.
38:00I packed it my...
38:01I, I packed it myself, personally.
38:03Couldn't have done, Rodney, because I had to get back in the wardrobe.
38:05Because you took it out of my suitcase after I packed it.
38:08Now, why would I want to do a thing like that, eh?
38:10So as you could bloody well come down here.
38:12No, I didn't.
38:13Daddy, this is Rodney's brother, Derek Trotter.
38:17Derek, I'd like you to meet my father.
38:18No introductions necessary.
38:20I recognise your photograph from a sporting light.
38:23Tell me, how's, eh, Amson Sampson?
38:25Has he got over that fatlock sprain yet?
38:27Yes, he's doing very nicely, thank you.
38:29Ah, good.
38:29And what about a derby next year?
38:30You know, will he be trying?
38:32Trying?
38:34Mr Trotter, it's a derby.
38:35Everyone will be trying.
38:36Ha, good.
38:37As long as no word to put my money, your grace.
38:42Victoria tells me you've driven all the way down from London
38:45with, eh, Rodney's dinner jacket.
38:47That's jolly decent of you.
38:48You must be exhausted.
38:49Well, I am cream cracker, your grace, but don't worry.
38:52I'll just mooch around here until I get me strength up for the journey back.
38:55Yes, well, do.
38:56Make yourself at home, won't you?
38:57And if you're around later, I'm sure, cook will provide you with something to eat.
39:00Oh, stay for dinner.
39:01Ah, well, pas de deux.
39:02And as luck would have it, as I was getting Rodney's evening suit out of the wardrobe,
39:07mine came along with it.
39:09So I've got all my gear here.
39:13Dinner.
39:13Patterson, will you set another place for dinner tonight, please?
39:18For this gentleman?
39:20Yes, Patterson.
39:21Of course, your grace.
39:22Well, that's very civil of you.
39:23Thank you very much.
39:25Oh.
39:28Would you mind if I had a pot shot?
39:30Uh, no, no, of course not.
39:33Uh, Patterson, can I have a gun for Mr Trotto, please?
39:35No need, no need to.
39:37I have brought my own weapon.
39:44Would you like these, sir?
39:47No, I can't listen to music while I'm shooting.
39:53Right, ready when you are, John.
39:54Do you mean Paul?
39:57Oh, sorry, Paul.
39:58In your own time, my son.
40:00I'll be all right when I get me eye in.
40:16Oi, where did you get that gun from?
40:19Iggy Higgins.
40:20Iggy Higgins robs banks.
40:21No, but it's Saturday.
40:24Look at that, Rodney.
40:42Hey, what a sight, eh?
40:46Makes you proud to be British.
40:48They know the difference between cucumber sandwiches and an egg on toast, this lot, doesn't they?
40:56All right.
40:58It's been did.
40:59Thanks.
40:59Derek, Daryl, listen, I was nervous enough about this weekend, and that was without you being here.
41:09But you arrived, and your presence alarms me.
41:14What I'm trying to say is, behave yourself, eh?
41:18Please.
41:19All right, all right, Rodney.
41:21Listen, I want you to know something.
41:23No matter what happens tonight, all right, I'm doing it for you.
41:26All right.
41:29What do you want?
41:30Hmm?
41:30What's going on?
41:31No, no, nothing, nothing.
41:32What are you going to do for me?
41:34Nothing.
41:34I'm just going to help you make a good impression.
41:36Look at that.
41:37Look.
41:38Look at that.
41:38Oh, the crem de monthe of British nobility down there.
41:42Look at that, mate.
41:43There's no one down here lower than a dower gut.
41:46What do you want me to think?
41:47That we're just the hoi polloi?
41:50No.
41:51We're going to be on our bestest behaviour tonight.
41:54Right.
41:55So we are agreed on that, then?
41:57Right.
42:04All right?
42:05You in?
42:06Evening.
42:07Thank you, John.
42:20All right, Henry?
42:23Good evening.
42:24Good evening.
42:28Is that a Da Vinci?
42:30No, it's not.
42:32Ah, what a shame.
42:33Because he's my most favourite artist.
42:35That is a Pissaro.
42:40Oh, I don't know.
42:41It's seem worse.
42:45Keep your eyes on those peas, Shirley.
42:51There you are, Albert.
42:53Thank you very much, Mrs. Miles.
42:55Here, I'll give you a word of warning.
42:58Don't give Mr. Trotter any peas.
42:59They go everywhere.
43:01I'll tell Mr. Patterson.
43:05Who are your people, Albert?
43:08They're not people.
43:09They're my nephews.
43:11So they're not of noble birth, then?
43:13Noble?
43:14The nearest them two had got the nobility was their great Uncle Jack.
43:18He was a tobacco baron.
43:20The noisy one is a fly pitcher, and the young one's his apprentice.
43:24So that's what you lot do, then?
43:27Sell things on street corners?
43:29Not me, madam.
43:31I was a career man.
43:33I was in the Navy for 30 years, man and boy.
43:36I thought, in the back of the Atlantic, back of the Pacific, Russian convoys, you name it, I was there.
43:42Oh, I bet you could tell a tale or two, eh, Albert?
43:46Never talk about it.
43:48I remember once we was in the South China Sea.
43:53We knew there were mines about.
43:54You see, and this...
43:55That little fella out there is really knocking back the champers.
43:58He's had nearly three quarters of a bottle to himself already.
44:01He keeps talking about Leonardo da Vinci.
44:03It's like he knew him.
44:04Oh, dear.
44:05Oh, Patterson, give us a little topperoonie, will you, pal?
44:07Ha, ha, ha.
44:08Cheers.
44:08Go on, my son.
44:11Yeah.
44:12Oh, hello.
44:14Del, would you leave that wine alone?
44:16You're eating a star of Bengal now.
44:19I'm just enjoying myself, that's all.
44:22Oh, no, but when you enjoy yourself, nobody else does.
44:26Trust me, Rodney, trust me.
44:28I'm reaching the point in the evening when I'm going to project you.
44:36Look, I do not want to be projected.
44:38Have you got that?
44:39I want to stay extremely unprojected.
44:41Henry, who's that young chap, Victoria?
44:57Oh, he's just a friend.
44:59She met him in a street market.
45:01She's going through her working artist stage at the moment.
45:04Just like her mother, bless her.
45:06It's just a phase, you know.
45:07She often brings these colourful characters down for the weekend.
45:11Do you remember that chap who looked like a gypsy,
45:13arrived with a bull terrier and a stolen escort?
45:16Oh, yes.
45:18Yes, he beat up Patterson in the library.
45:20Oh, yes.
45:22Well, anyway, this chap, Rodney, Rodney, he's an artist, too.
45:27And the other fellow, his brother?
45:31He's the biggest artist of them all.
45:33Henry.
45:36Is that a da Vinci?
45:38No.
45:39Nice, though.
45:41I think he's a little drunk.
45:44He's always been a little drunk.
45:47That was a blinding meal, that, you ladyship, wasn't it?
45:49Yes, excellent.
45:50Yeah, what did you have, the pheasant?
45:52Yes, pheasant.
45:53Yeah, well, I had the quails with peas and gravy.
45:56So you did.
45:59Tell me, it's Trotter, isn't it?
46:02Yes, that's right, but me friends call me Del.
46:04Oh, I see.
46:06Tell me, Trotter, how do you come to know Henry?
46:10Oh, Henry, Henry.
46:12Oh, yeah, well, his daughter, the tricky one here in the blue, is getting engaged to my younger brother, Rodney.
46:18Engaged.
46:20Keep it under your tarara, huh?
46:22We don't want the media to hear about this.
46:24Remember what happened to Andrew and Fergie?
46:26They couldn't even fart without there being a newsflash.
46:29Couldn't they, eh?
46:32Oh, there he is.
46:34Ah, good man.
46:36Whoops.
46:37Hello.
46:37You've drawn a blank there, you ladyship.
46:39Never mind.
46:40I expect your cariff will be coming along in a minute.
46:43Eh?
46:43You've got a slug of mine if you like while you're waiting.
46:46I was in the life raft about to 20 yards from him.
46:51Cariff was so strong, call it to him.
46:54It was awful.
46:56That story will haunt me till the day I die.
46:59I know the feeling.
47:02These are nice, Victoria.
47:04What are they, Raven, Irritory?
47:06No, it's Stowbridge Crystal.
47:08It's been in the family for generations.
47:10Oh.
47:11Right.
47:13Look at that, that's nice, isn't it, eh?
47:19Very craftsmanship, that.
47:20Here, Henry, this night.
47:22It is not a da Vinci.
47:25Short in silver, though, I'll wager.
47:27Yes, they were made by William Cordhill in 1648.
47:31They've come up well, though, haven't they, eh?
47:33Of course, me and Rodney, you know, we're involved in cutlery.
47:38Well, it's canteens of cutlery, par excellence, actually.
47:44Actually, I've got some in the van.
47:45I can pop out and get you and some for you, if you like.
47:47Dale.
47:47Eh?
47:49Just leave it, eh?
47:51All right, all right.
47:53Which part of London are you from, Rodney?
47:56Er, Peckham.
47:59Really?
48:00Not too far from me.
48:01I have a flat in Chelsea.
48:03Rodney's taking me to Stamford Bridge to see someone play soccer.
48:07Oh, you're one of the faithful.
48:09I'm a blues fan myself.
48:11Have you taken a box?
48:13Er, doesn't need a box, does he?
48:15He's tall enough to see, isn't he?
48:17Rodney, Rodney, Rodney, he had a great future, you know, as an athlete.
48:35In fact, the headmaster of his university wanted him to go on to the Olympics.
48:40Hmm?
48:41Hmm.
48:41But he said, no, no, no, he said no, because he wanted to concentrate on his business.
48:45Because that is where his true talent lies, there.
48:48I mean, he's a future whiz kid.
48:50Yeah.
48:51Well, it's got two GCEs.
48:54Well, uh-huh.
48:55This time next year, he's going to be a millionaire.
48:58That's very nice to hear.
49:00Uh, which university were you at?
49:04Rodney was at an art college, Daddy.
49:07In Basingstoke.
49:08Oh, yes, I've heard very good things about it.
49:14How long are you there, old chap?
49:18I had three weeks.
49:22Weeks?
49:24Well, I left for personal reasons.
49:28Mernie's fault.
49:30They weren't his drugs.
49:46Now, listen to me, trotter.
49:49Are you still staying overnight?
49:53Or not?
49:56I want you and all your kith and kin out of my house and off my land now!
50:11We don't want to talk about the arrangements.
50:14Arrangements?
50:14What arrangements?
50:15For Victoria and Rodney's wedding.
50:17Wedding?
50:18Wedding?
50:18What do you mean, wedding?
50:20Oh, oh, hey, hey, hang on, Henry.
50:23Oh, no, don't tell me that no one's told you.
50:25I hope I haven't gone and spoiled a wonderful surprise.
50:28A wonderful surprise for whom?
50:30Oh, for you.
50:31Yeah, I thought, you know, we might make the announcements in the Times, the Country Life and the Peck-a-Beck-o.
50:41What do you think, eh?
50:42I don't believe what I am hearing.
50:46My daughter is marrying no one.
50:48In two months' time, she is going to America.
50:51She is doing a year's course at the New York School of Art.
50:54Oh, well, they're probably going to take that in on their honeymoon.
50:58What?
50:58Two months?
50:59Cool, we're going to have to book the old cathedral a bit lively, won't we?
51:02The only thing that you will be booking is a bed in intensive care.
51:07Your brother is not, I repeat, not marrying my daughter!
51:14Well, just a minute, Henry.
51:16We're not just a couple of yippity-oys.
51:18I mean, we know how to conduct ourselves.
51:21In fact, there's a rumour going around that we are related to the Surrey Trotters.
51:25I don't care if you are related to the Surrey Trotters, or to the Berkshire Trotters,
51:30or to the Harlem bloody Globetrotters!
51:33I want that young man out of my daughter's life!
51:40I don't know how you're going to do that, because that Victoria seems pretty stuck on him.
51:44Sure.
51:45Well, I will find some way of unsticking her.
51:47I have no fear of that.
51:48Well, it's not going to be easy, because I know Rodney, and I know him only too well.
51:53I can't think of anything that would make him leave a...
51:56Well, you know, when I say anything, well, it's one thing.
52:02And what's that?
52:05Well, why don't we go into your study and discuss it over a glass of brandy?
52:10All right, come on, come on, come on, in here.
52:12Come on!
52:14What is that one?
52:15That's a bloody Da Vinci!
52:17What is?
52:47you're trying to make an impression oh you made an impression del
52:56it was similar to the impression the americans made at nagasaki
53:02for as long as i can remember del it's always been the same it's just you sticking your oar in
53:17what about that time i joined the army cadet say and then you discovered the boy i shared a tent with
53:25had a relative who was a big noise in show business and well that was the end of my military career
53:30wasn't it i was gonna be a child star so i was demobbed and straight into a tap dancing school
53:38before i could say who goes there and that was just an embarrassment as well just like tonight
53:43i was the only kid in that school who never had a proper set of tap dancing shows
53:49it's only because your army boots made more noise
53:55you made more noise all right i used to make zippity-doo-dah sound like the advance on leningrad
54:02you see you had to interfere
54:06and now you've interfered between me and vicky haven't you
54:12you humiliated me you destroyed me in front of all them people
54:18and you ruined my opportunity of sharing a warm and friendly relationship with somebody i respected
54:26and on top of all that dill on top of all that
54:31i think i've broken my hand
54:35should have a look at it then
54:38oh just don't waste it
54:39leave me alone
54:41you even went and told the joke about the irish bloke on a skiing holiday didn't you
54:49but do you know what the most painful incident of the entire evening was
54:58his grace called me into his study for a little chat
55:04said he wanted me to stop seeing victoria
55:09said he wanted me out of her life now and for good
55:13do you know he even offered me money
55:17no
55:20yeah
55:20well you can imagine how i felt can't you
55:24well yeah
55:25horrible rodney must have felt really horrible
55:28well i would have told him what he could do with his money
55:31i did some
55:32good boy
55:33what
55:37you said nitto to a grand
55:40yes i did
55:42i still have some of my self-esteem left in
55:46how did you know he offered me a grand
55:51hey
55:53how did you know he offered me a thousand pound
55:57well it's about the going right to get a plonker out your daughter's life
56:02you arranged it didn't you
56:06no
56:06no not
56:08actually arranged it
56:09look them sort of people they're looked after by the special branch in mi6
56:15don't you think that when they ran your name through their computer and found out that you'd got a conviction
56:20if you'd refuse to get out of vicky's life well they would have sent a hit team
56:25you would have been brown bread brother
56:29i thought to myself well
56:31grand on the hip is worth more than a poison umbrella up your jacksie innit
56:35but you turned it down didn't you dipstick
56:40yes i did
56:41del
56:42i refused to become a lot number in one of your auctions
56:46but you can't understand that can you
56:48you just
56:49can't understand
56:50yeah of course i can understand rodney
56:55look i'm
56:58sorry i hurt you rodney
57:01come on don't hate me please brother
57:06i don't hate you
57:09i don't bloody like you
57:13well that'll do me rodney
57:17put it there
57:19now what are you
57:26what are you
57:27eh
57:27eh
57:28we've got some off-flash
57:35practice
57:35some marginals
57:36a pocket tie
57:37tv
57:38and baby
57:39boating
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