The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:00Who are you with?
00:18Hey, Jordan.
00:20Come on, let's go.
00:23Where are your books at?
00:24No homework.
00:25No school tomorrow.
00:26It's take your child to work day, remember?
00:28I get to spend the whole day with you.
00:32The students will deliver an oral presentation
00:35about everything they learn, which will be graded.
00:40Okay, Father, that's fine.
00:42But some of us parents don't have no form of office.
00:44Well, Mr. Mack, perhaps you could take your boy
00:48to the set of one of your Hollywood movies
00:50that celebrates Sodom and Gomorrah.
00:53Or maybe you could teach him
00:55from one of your expletive-filled comedy retails.
01:00Oh, you crackin' but fackin'.
01:03Bullseye.
01:05America, you heard him insult my profession.
01:09I didn't insult his profession.
01:11America is supposed to be
01:13take your child to work day.
01:14That ain't right.
01:15I take my child to their work day,
01:17and now they're tryin' to pass the buck on me.
01:20Huh, it's shameful.
01:22Just damn shameful.
01:25No.
01:25N-O.
01:27No.
01:28Oh, come on, sweetheart.
01:29At least you know you got your own office.
01:31I cannot take Jordan back to my office this soon.
01:35Why?
01:35No, not after last time.
01:37Are you kidding me?
01:37The VP of Marketing handed out a report
01:40with a color Xerox copy of Jordan's rear end on the cover.
01:43Oh, that's funny.
01:44Now his photo is at the security desk
01:46right next to the guy who tried to cut Sheila's face
01:48in accounting.
01:48No, sir, he's all yours.
01:51Please?
01:55Mm.
02:11Another banana nut.
02:26I got a business meeting right now.
02:42Oh.
02:44Oh.
02:46I'll give you two reds.
02:47I'll give you two reds.
02:49Two reds.
02:50Hi.
02:50What are you doing, big fella?
02:52I'm like, I'm finna give me a new partner.
02:53A new partner.
02:54Partner.
02:55Throw it in there, partner.
02:57Partner.
02:58New partner, baby.
02:59Hey, man, listen, man.
03:00You know, man, Jordan ain't never tell me
03:02that none of us work.
03:04What?
03:04Yeah, man.
03:05Give me two.
03:06Hey, my wife works.
03:09I said, and I called in sick.
03:12You don't look sick.
03:14I said I called in sick.
03:17You don't listen to me.
03:18You know what?
03:18I'm working.
03:20I'm working, really.
03:21This here, guys, is client relations.
03:23Really, this is business.
03:24All of my losses are business deductions.
03:26Yeah.
03:27And by the look on your face right now,
03:29you better get it off your face
03:29because I'll tell you right now,
03:30I don't need the IRS on my ass for another six years.
03:32You better not say a thing.
03:33I don't want to hear it.
03:34Watch yourself.
03:35I'm not gonna call.
03:36I'm gonna call him now.
03:37Hey, gang, you know it's just 11 o'clock, man.
03:39I mean, I got four more hours with that boy.
03:41Oh, man, that's messed up, partner.
03:43Yeah, partner.
03:44Partner?
03:45Perfect.
03:46Perfect.
03:48Hey, Jerry.
03:49What's up, man?
03:50Listen.
03:51Why don't you take Joey down to the office with you, man?
03:53I mean, just show him around for a little while, man.
03:55I mean, let's see how you manage business.
04:01You're kidding me, right?
04:02No, I'm serious.
04:03Oh, yeah, right.
04:04That's awesome, Bernie.
04:06Would you?
04:06Yeah, sure, absolutely.
04:07I'll do it, no problem.
04:08Oh, man, in the business zone.
04:09Right there.
04:11You suck, you suck.
04:13You put something in the house.
04:14You put something in the house.
04:15I'm pleased to do.
04:19Wow, Jordan, that's a really good question.
04:21What is an artist management company?
04:23Well, it is a company that manages, you know, artists,
04:28like actors, directors.
04:29Acrobats?
04:30No, not acrobats.
04:34Angela Bassett called to say thank you for the jukebox.
04:36Right.
04:36I sent your sister an orchid and signed the card.
04:38If you were born first, why do I look so much older?
04:40Right.
04:41And I exchanged the foot massager to this tiny fan.
04:45Thank you, Orlando.
04:46Uh, this is Bernie Mac's nephew, Jordan.
04:49Nice to meet you.
04:50Orlando's my personal assistant, Jordan.
04:51Jordan is here today to learn about our office for a school project.
04:54Ah, well, where to begin?
04:56The snack room is just past the elevators.
04:58The men's room combination is 2-2-2.
05:00Just think not too complicated.
05:02And today is the first day of principal photography on Renee Zellweger's new movie.
05:05We're sending her a jukebox.
05:06Thank you very much.
05:07You know, Jordan, when I was your age, that's when I first decided I wanted to be a manager.
05:11How old are you now?
05:13How old am I?
05:14Oh, isn't that cute?
05:15You're going to write it down.
05:16I'm 28.
05:19Jared Best's office.
05:20This is Jordan.
05:21How am I helping you?
05:23Rick Moranis?
05:24Oh.
05:25I'm sorry.
05:26That's the best to have a knee surgery right now.
05:28I will.
05:30And so the student becomes the best.
05:34Hey, what's up, Parker fan?
05:35Come on, let's go.
05:36How you doing, man?
05:37Excuse me?
05:38May I help you?
05:39Yes, I'm here for the commercial audition.
05:41Which commercial?
05:42Malveridge Department Store.
05:43Malveridge?
05:44I love Malveridge.
05:45They're the only store that still sells child clip-on ties.
05:50Oh, it's for school.
05:51He wears uniform.
05:53But wait, are they getting a new Patrick Malvert?
05:55Well, apparently, because at Malvert's, we make high prices disappear.
06:00Come on, come on.
06:01Well, that's not how a magician has said.
06:03I mean, no offense, but magicians usually have a cape.
06:07What about your jacket?
06:08And magicians need to flourish.
06:10Here, watch this.
06:12At Malvert's, we make high prices disappear.
06:17Bernie Mac.
06:18Hey, my man.
06:19Louie Malvert.
06:20Oh, hey, hey, how you doing, sir?
06:23So, the king of comedy meets the king of instant designer knockoffs.
06:29That was my nickname in the 70s.
06:31Oh, okay.
06:31There's no reason you shouldn't know that.
06:33Uh-uh.
06:34I'm a huge fan.
06:35Thank you, sir.
06:36So, is this little fella client of the agency?
06:38No, this is my nephew.
06:40He's here on a school project.
06:42Well, we were thinking he might want to try out for Magic Malvert.
06:45What?
06:46Me?
06:47Magic Malvert?
06:49Oh, my God.
06:50I'm going to get the best grade in the class.
06:52It's all thanks to you.
06:58Chillax.
06:59Chillax.
07:07Hey, handsome.
07:08How was your day at the office?
07:09Great.
07:09Guess what?
07:10I got my first commercial.
07:12My call time's at 7 tomorrow morning, and I'll hamburger.
07:22What?
07:28Baby, the boy is so excited.
07:30I mean, he called half his class from the car on the way home.
07:33Well, you know, I don't think Jordan should do this, honey.
07:36He's young, you know.
07:37His show business is full of disappointments and rejection.
07:41Why?
07:41The boy already got the job.
07:42Mr. Malvert made the final decision himself.
07:44Plus, he gave him good work ethics.
07:46Help him save a little.
07:48Well, does he have to miss school?
07:51They made him miss school today.
07:53This will help him get a good grade.
07:57He did seem excited.
07:59He is excited.
08:00Yeah.
08:01Now, if you're going to help his sisters get a job,
08:03sell his shoes or laying concrete,
08:05help them start paying their way.
08:07Since I'm in show business now,
08:09I don't have time for my personal affairs.
08:11That's where you come in.
08:13As my personal assistant,
08:15you'll be my ambassador to the world.
08:17What?
08:18I'll pay you a quarter a day.
08:19A quarter a day?
08:22But I need someone I can trust completely.
08:25You can trust me.
08:26I hear you,
08:27but I also know you happen to be an excellent liar.
08:32But it may be helpful for me
08:33to have an excellent liar on staff.
08:35Orlando says all the best personal assistants
08:37are excellent liars.
08:39Stars expect that.
08:40I love lying.
08:42Okay, let's try it out.
08:43I want to come home and ask you to get me
08:44so I can try on some new school clothes.
08:49Jordan can't right now
08:50because he's taking the poop.
08:52Perfect.
08:58I thought Aunt Wanda asked Jordan to mop.
09:01She did.
09:02Jordan's paying me to be his personal assistant.
09:05I can't believe he would use you to...
09:08Wait, how much is he paying you?
09:10A quarter a day.
09:11What if I gave you 35 cents a day?
09:15Would I have to give up my Jordan job?
09:17Hey, as long as you haul the newspapers
09:19out to the recycling bin by six,
09:21you can spend the rest of the day on the roof
09:22as far as I care.
09:24Yes!
09:25But let's not mention it to Uncle Bernie or Aunt Wanda.
09:28They might not think it's appropriate
09:30for a seven-year-old to be making that much money.
09:33Don't worry.
09:34I won't say a thing.
09:35Jordan's a, um, excellent liar.
09:38Good.
09:41Malbert's department store commercial, take 12.
09:45Action.
09:47Because at Malbert's, we make high prices.
09:51Disappear.
09:53Still rolling.
09:55Again.
09:55Still rolling, people.
09:5710% less world, Jordan.
10:00Gotcha.
10:04And go.
10:05Because at Malbert's, we make high prices.
10:10Disappear.
10:11Okay.
10:13Okay.
10:14Mr. Rolling, please.
10:1690% less world.
10:17But then there's no world.
10:20Cut.
10:21You know what?
10:22We are on break.
10:23Five minutes, everybody.
10:25Five minutes.
10:26Big.
10:28Uh, listen.
10:30This is the hardest part of my job as a manager.
10:32What is?
10:34Telling my client to tell his nephew that he's fired.
10:36What?
10:37Yeah, Bernie.
10:37Old man Malbert has lost faith in Jordan.
10:39He says that he's more, uh, spastic than he remembers.
10:43Come on, Jerry.
10:43It's got to be something we can do.
10:45Stop it.
10:45What am I supposed to do?
10:46I haven't tried everything.
10:47I ain't tried.
10:51Hi, um, Mr. Malbert.
10:52Yeah.
10:53Listen, if you fire that little boy, I'm telling you, you're just gonna break his little heart.
10:57Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Mac.
10:59Well, look, Mr. Malbert, maybe there's something I can do, like help him with his lines or with his world
11:04or something like that.
11:05Well, I suppose there is one thing.
11:07Good.
11:08Name it.
11:08You got it.
11:09You got it.
11:09I will keep the boy on the commercial.
11:11Good.
11:12If you do it with him.
11:16Wow.
11:17Oh, um, listen, man, I mean, you mean the boy do this commercial together?
11:21Yeah.
11:22The two of us?
11:24We're gonna be in a commercial together?
11:27This may be the single best day of my life.
11:30Even better than the time they revived me in the park.
11:39Malbert's department store commercial takes 17.
11:42Action.
11:43Why do they call you Magic Malbert?
11:45Because at Malbert, we make high prices disappear.
11:52Still rolling.
11:53Still rolling.
11:53It was good, Mr. Mac.
11:54It was very, very good.
11:55Except this time I'd like you to add a little more, um, Hailfellow well met.
12:00All right?
12:00What?
12:01And go.
12:03So why do they call you Magic Malbert?
12:05Because at Malbert, we make high prices disappear.
12:09Yeah.
12:10Mm.
12:11Yes.
12:12Ten percent more Hailfellow.
12:14Ten percent, people.
12:15Ten percent.
12:16America.
12:17If I let the boys stay at home with me, none of this would have happened.
12:20But now I'll pass the buck to Jerry.
12:23I'm no better than those Catholic school teachers.
12:25And now look at me, wearing this crazy outfit.
12:28Like one of those Catholic school students.
12:30This cake don't breathe.
12:33Look.
12:34Look at this.
12:35Fortune teller.
12:37Quiet, here it comes.
12:38...showcase after this important award from our sponsor.
12:43Why do they call you Magic Malbert?
12:46Because at Malbert, we make high prices disappear.
12:52Nine locations across the Southland.
12:54Ooh, honey, they cut his pie.
12:56I see.
12:56What?
12:57You stole my commercial!
13:01I'm firing Jerry Beth!
13:06No.
13:07No.
13:08No, no, no, no.
13:14Billy called to say you're a liar.
13:18And Jackie from the fifth grade, she called just to laugh at you.
13:23But I told her we will return.
13:25Mm-hmm.
13:26Ah!
13:27Anything else?
13:28No, I'm too depressed.
13:40Hey, Jordan.
13:42There's other people who need you to washroom, too, you know.
13:44You have your own bathroom.
13:45Oh, you have to steal my bathroom, too.
13:48Ste-
13:49Now, you listen up.
13:50I'm not asking.
13:51I'm telling you.
13:52Unlock this door.
13:53Oh, why don't you have to make the laugh disappear?
13:58I will pick him up.
14:05Hey, little mama.
14:06What are you still doing up?
14:07Just two more pots to go.
14:10Isn't it Vanessa's week to do the dishes?
14:12Nope.
14:13Uh, I traded my ice cream sandwich just to scrap her pots.
14:24Oh, hey, Aunt Wanda.
14:27I didn't see you there.
14:28Obviously.
14:28I was just thinking how unusual it is that your little sister would give up her ice cream
14:33sandwich so she could wash your pots and pans.
14:36She said she traded her ice cream sandwich just to scrub pots and pans.
14:40Hmm.
14:41You are a terrible liar.
14:45Okay, look, Jordan had already hired her to be his personal assistant, so I decided to
14:50let her be my assistant, too.
14:52Hmm.
14:53She pays me.
14:54She does, does she?
14:56Sweetie, do you know how much allowance your Uncle Bernie and I pay your sister in exchange
15:01for her doing her chores?
15:0375 cents?
15:05Mm-mm.
15:06A hundred cents?
15:08Twenty dollars.
15:10See, that would be two thousand cents.
15:12And how much does she pay you?
15:15Thirty-five cents!
15:17Ow!
15:18Aunt Wanda.
15:19Oh, you lucky I don't kick you in your other leg.
15:21Next week you'll be doing Brianna's chores, but don't worry, see?
15:24We're gonna pay you Brianna's allowance.
15:27And Brianna, next week you'll be getting Vanessa's allowance.
15:31I like hospital corners on my bed.
15:38Uncle Bernie, your commercial's on again!
15:41Over!
15:42Because at Naubert, we make high prices disappear.
15:48Nine locations across the Southland.
15:50I don't know, that wasn't so bad.
15:55Yo, what's up, man?
15:57Randy?
15:58Randy, how you doing, man?
15:59What you doing doing these crazy commercials, dawg?
16:02What's up with you, man?
16:03I mean, man, I was doing it for the kids, man.
16:05I'm all right, I did it for the kids, man.
16:07I don't know, baby, it really wasn't kicking for me, dawg.
16:10I was like, I was not really quite feeling it at all, actually.
16:14What?
16:14Paula, what you think, man?
16:16Paula?
16:18Well, the camera seems to love you, your nice eyes, you have a great smile.
16:23All right.
16:24The tone to your voice is nice.
16:26So, you like it, baby?
16:28No, it was horrible.
16:30As a matter of fact, I'd be embarrassed for you.
16:32Hold on, wait a minute, I thought you was a nice one.
16:34You were pitchy, too.
16:38What's pitchy?
16:39Actually, dawg, nobody really knows what pitchy means, but she's right, it was horrible.
16:43You know, y'all got a lot of nerve, man.
16:44Come up here, man, try to criticize me.
16:46It's bad enough y'all criticize America, you know?
16:49Who left y'all in charge, right?
16:51You know, you got everybody fooled like you, Michael Jackson's brother.
16:54You took work from Randy, you know?
16:56Paula, you know, you sitting up there, you printed everything, you know?
16:59But y'all criticize everybody, y'all got All-American people fooled, people scared to sing, you know?
17:04You know, and can't none of y'all sing and y'all just ain't better.
17:08Let's move on.
17:11Mr. Mac, you can't blame me.
17:14When I saw you at the stage with that boy...
17:17You knew you was gonna cut Jordan out that commercial when you first came and asked me.
17:20That's how confident I was that you would have the acting chops to pull it off.
17:25All right, listen up, old man.
17:27I've done Magic Marble for the last time.
17:30Ooh, I got a contract that says otherwise.
17:32I'm going on the Tonight Show day after tomorrow,
17:34and they're always asking me for some interesting stories.
17:37There's no such thing as bad publicity.
17:39Oh, but this would be some badass publicity.
17:41That would be slander.
17:43No.
17:44It'd be a funny story.
17:52Listen, Mr. Malbert.
17:54We're both reasonable men.
17:55Why don't you play the boy at commercial just once?
17:58Just once?
17:59Gee, this is really important to you, isn't it, Mr. Mac?
18:02Mr. Malbert means the world to me.
18:04And if you do this for me,
18:07you have a friend at Mac, man.
18:10For life.
18:12I'll tell you what.
18:13What?
18:14I'll run the commercial.
18:17If you do the Malbert's trade show in Cincinnati.
18:20Hmm.
18:21Dirty.
18:22What?
18:23Thought I'd be in Cincinnati?
18:25You wise, America.
18:28The boy get over his disappointment.
18:30Shit.
18:32What?
18:33I did enough.
18:35You saw me do that stupid commercial, trying to embarrass me.
18:38Bernie Mac makes something go poof.
18:41America, I've been doing comedy for over 20 years.
18:44I ain't never had to say poof before in my life.
18:47It's undignified.
18:53Well done, Benjamin.
18:55Robert Blake certainly is a lucky man to have your father's legal representation.
19:00Up next, father, Jordan Tompkins,
19:02who spent the day with his uncle Bernie Mac and...
19:06his uncle's manager, Mr. Gerard Best.
19:17As you all know, I filmed a commercial for Malbert's department store.
19:22Yeah, right.
19:23And then you made it disappear.
19:26You know, it's a sin to lie.
19:29Um, Sister Eileen, that means Jordan's going to hell, right?
19:33Hey, no one's going to hell.
19:35Well, now, that tends to contradict one of our central positions.
19:39of our institution.
19:40Look, father, if Jordan said he was in the commercial,
19:43then he was in the commercial.
19:45This is a tape they didn't want you all to see.
19:53Why do they call you Magic Malbert?
19:55Because at Malbert,
19:58we make high prices and disappear.
20:03I went back to the production. I talked to the editor.
20:05They cut you out.
20:07That's right.
20:08They used an innocent child just to get to his more famous uncle.
20:11And you know what that conniving trickery is called?
20:15Show business.
20:16It'll chew up your dreams and spit them out like spit.
20:20Rory, you think you're going to be a rap star?
20:23And Allison, a Broadway dancer just because you got talent?
20:28And Petey, do you really think the world will appreciate your bird-whistling talents as much as I do?
20:34Well, let me tell you something, children.
20:37Stay in school, because show business, it'll bite you in the booty.
20:41Jordan.
20:42Not allow it.
20:44Because I agree with the message.
20:47Jordan's right, children.
20:49Show business will bite you in the booty.
20:52Hard.
20:55Excellent report, Jordan.
20:58I'm giving you an A.
21:00Working together
21:05Can make you happy
21:08See that, America?
21:10I do have magical powers.
21:13Bernie Mac made bad feelings disappear.
21:21It'll be something we can do.
21:23Like what, Bernie?
21:24Make him a ****?
21:24Stop it.
21:25No, I'm serious.
21:26I've tried everything.
21:27Okay?
21:27I've tried everything.
21:28Okay, okay.
21:29Let me try something.
21:32Hi, Mr. Melvick.
21:34Yes, I mean?
21:35You got riding some ****, you know that?
21:39You know, who the hell do you think you are?
21:40The king of comedy?
21:50All right.
21:52All right.
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