The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:00Who are you with?
00:16I know that ain't marmalina sitting up in my...
00:18No, no, no. That ain't marmalina.
00:21I'll be darn gold.
00:22You look at this here.
00:24Look at this.
00:25Woman, you look so good.
00:26Look at this here.
00:28Mmm, look like a holly berry sitting up in my kitchen.
00:31I'll be there.
00:32What's up, baby sis?
00:33Woo, woo, woo.
00:34Woo, woo, woo.
00:35Come on, let me have one.
00:36This is for the cobbler for the reunion.
00:39Sexy mama.
00:40Hey, baby.
00:41Hey, who all coming?
00:43Cripple Lou coming?
00:44Y'all talk to him?
00:46Now, honey, don't you say that in his face.
00:48You know how he gets.
00:49He fights and kills on it.
00:51He sure does.
00:51I can see him now.
00:52What do you say?
00:53What do you say?
00:53Come on now.
00:54Come on now.
00:54That ain't right.
00:55Don't talk to her like that, huh?
00:56Stop.
00:57What about your aunt and sis?
00:58Y'all heard from her, huh?
00:58You know she'll be here trying to sell something and preaching about to the Lord.
01:03Praise Jesus, Bernie.
01:05I can't stand her.
01:06She really don't bother me.
01:07It's that no working husband of hers, you know.
01:10I got some eyes in the fire.
01:14What's that, Nessa?
01:15They look good.
01:15The firstborn in each family is making a huge patchwork quilt for the oldest in the family.
01:24Vanessa's too bad your mama couldn't come to the reunion.
01:29Finished.
01:34What about Big Brother?
01:35Y'all heard from him?
01:36When he coming?
01:37Tomorrow.
01:38And I'm going to tell you something, Bernard.
01:39He better not come up in here trying to regulate.
01:41I'm serious.
01:42I am grown.
01:43Okay?
01:44And if Carl say one thing to me, I am going to tell him to kiss my natural black...
01:50Ah, she's just bumping her gums.
01:52She look up to Big Brother just like I do.
01:55See, when we was coming up, Carl was the man in the house.
01:58His world was for long.
02:00Carl was the one that made me see it was best.
02:02I take the kiss.
02:03He's going to be real proud when he see how well I've done with him, too.
02:07Man, ain't nothing like family.
02:13Hey, baby.
02:14Hey.
02:15Mama lean all right?
02:17Who knows?
02:18I can't believe she still isn't talking after all these years.
02:22Are you sure there isn't anything physically wrong with her?
02:24Yeah, there's something physically wrong with her.
02:27She's 109 years old.
02:29Shoot, maybe she just don't feel like talking.
02:31Probably wouldn't understand if she did.
02:34I'm going to get her to talk.
02:36No, you won't.
02:37Yes, I will.
02:38No, you won't.
02:39Yes, I will.
02:40No, you won't.
02:41Yes, I will.
02:48Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
02:54So, you all looking forward to the reunion?
02:56I don't even know half the people you were talking about.
02:59And now I have to stay in a room with these two and listen to dog breath practice French,
03:04which he sucks at.
03:06Look, y'all listen to me.
03:08This reunion mean a lot to me.
03:10She mean a lot to you, too.
03:12So, keep the family together to keep us connected.
03:15And besides, you all ain't seen your Uncle Carl since you all got here.
03:19You all will be grateful we got a family for all of them, including each other.
03:23You understand?
03:24Yes.
03:25Maybe I'm sure.
03:28What do you say?
03:30He ain't cussing it.
03:32Ow!
03:33It's a family affair.
03:38It's a family affair.
03:41It's a family affair.
03:45What's up, you squares?
03:47Maggie's here.
03:49Hi, Uncle Bernie.
03:51Hey, baby girl.
03:53I'm a baby girl.
03:55Hey, Bernie.
03:56You remember David?
03:57Hey, sis.
03:58Hey, how you doing, David?
03:59Yeah.
04:00I got some irons in the fire.
04:03I have a little proposition for you.
04:06Uh-huh.
04:06Uh-huh.
04:07We just got here.
04:08But neither mine, yours.
04:09It's not my fault you never got off the first run of your pyramid.
04:12So, Bernie, can you see us doing a little...
04:16Hey, hey, hey, see mine.
04:19Hey, come here, boy.
04:22Look at this.
04:22Look at this.
04:23What are you doing, man?
04:24What's up, baby?
04:26I'm good.
04:26How you doing, man?
04:27I'm doing great, see?
04:29Come on, man.
04:30See?
04:31What did you see the kids?
04:32It's all gone.
04:33Look, there goes Jordan over there.
04:34Hey, hey, Jordan.
04:36I ain't never seen a little boy enjoy butterflies so much.
04:41Man, that boy like all kind of bugs, man.
04:43Tarantulas.
04:44Black widows.
04:45Mm-hmm.
04:46Hey, Jordan.
04:47Jordan.
04:47Come here, son.
04:49Come here.
04:50Come here.
04:50Say something to Uncle Carl.
04:52Hi, Uncle Carl.
04:54Hey, hey.
04:55Come tell me who?
04:56Oh, you speak in French now.
04:58Oui.
04:59Oh, goes good with the shirt.
05:03You know, America, Carl's just having fun with the boy.
05:06It's a little different.
05:08You know, but that's how Jordan is.
05:09See, it's not like Carl's saying it's my fault.
05:14Or is it?
05:26Aren't you Patricia's son, Shanti?
05:28Yes.
05:29Wow, you have shot up since their last reunion.
05:33All tall and handsome.
05:34I'm Bernie's wife, Wanda.
05:36Oh, yeah.
05:37Hey, how are you doing?
05:39That's good.
05:39This is Mama Lena, Yvette.
05:42This is your cousin, Vanessa.
05:43You guys haven't seen each other since you were babies.
05:45Hey, what's up, cubs?
05:46Hey.
05:47I was just about to go get something to eat you, huh?
05:49Sure.
05:54Jeez, you just grow up so fast.
06:01Bernie.
06:02Yeah.
06:02You're rich.
06:03But I'm about to make you rich, rich.
06:06We need to talk.
06:07Hold on.
06:07Let me eat first, okay?
06:09Oh, to God be the glory.
06:10Now, you know Big Mama taught you to bless your food before you eat.
06:15Kiss it up to God.
06:20Well, well, well.
06:21If it isn't fine as wine, Wanda Macalicious.
06:25Look at you.
06:25Oh, oh, oh.
06:26Hi, Lou.
06:27Hold on.
06:29Break.
06:31Bring it.
06:33Mmm, like a bird coming home to the lake.
06:37Oh.
06:39How you doing, Lou?
06:41Surviving.
06:42As if you care.
06:46What's up?
06:51Oh.
06:53America, the man's in a wheelchair.
06:56Some things you've got to let go.
06:59Family.
07:05Yeah, you got me, man.
07:08So, you don't shoot hoops.
07:10Well, what about music?
07:11You watch music videos, don't you?
07:12Don't worry.
07:13I just like to watch music videos.
07:15Tootie hoopsies.
07:21Baby, are you okay?
07:24No, not really.
07:26I'm ready to go, Juan.
07:28I'm tired.
07:29Bernie!
07:30Cooking with Bernie Mac's heart, sis.
07:34What?
07:36That's the name of our show on the Food Network.
07:39You sprinkle in a few jokes and I'll do the cooking.
07:42You add the spice, I'll add the flavor.
07:44Hallelujah.
07:45Baby, we gonna be rolling in the dough.
07:48Rolling in the dough.
07:49Get it?
07:50Dough.
07:50Ha!
07:51Ha!
07:51Listen, I got a hundred more cooking puns.
07:54I made a tape for you.
07:55Come on, you need to hear.
07:56Come on, come on.
07:57Come, come on.
07:59Mm-hmm.
08:00Ha!
08:01He's gonna get up as soon as he see me coming.
08:03He be acting funny.
08:05That's why I didn't call y'all the last time I was in L.A.
08:07Are you serious?
08:08Yeah, I'm serious.
08:10What's like I'm not welcome or something?
08:12Oh, come on.
08:13Don't be ridiculous.
08:14You're family.
08:15And family is always welcome in our home,
08:17whether it's for a beer, a swim, or whatever.
08:20I don't swim.
08:22We'll put you in the attitude.
08:23You know what I mean.
08:25Thanks, cuz.
08:26You're welcome.
08:32Look here.
08:33Tonight.
08:34After party at Mass.
08:36Tonight?
08:36Tonight.
08:37That's gonna be all food, right?
08:40What the hell you say?
08:41There's gonna be no food.
08:43Yeah, it's gonna be some food.
08:47Hey, y'all.
08:48Dance contest, everybody.
08:50Y'all come out.
08:52Come out.
08:53Thank you, girl.
08:54Yeah.
08:55All of you, come on.
08:57Hey!
08:58Hey!
08:59Hey!
09:00Hey!
09:00Hey!
09:00I used to go out to water and stand in my way.
09:06Come on!
09:08Hey!
09:14Hey!
09:29Oh, I'm saying is it seems like y'all moved out here to California and forgot your roots.
09:34Yeah, I mean, what's the boy gonna do next, huh?
09:36Dyes hair blonde by wearing blue contacts.
09:40Stop seasoning his food.
09:42Hey, hey, George Jordan.
09:43Son, why don't we sit this out, okay?
09:45No way, I'm gonna win it.
09:47George Jordan.
09:53How do you say no rhythm in French?
09:58He's a kid, Carl, remember?
10:02He's a black kid, right?
10:04You remember?
10:12I could have said something to Carl,
10:15but I held my tongue.
10:17Kinda like Mama Lena.
10:21Home, sweet home, that's what I'm talking about.
10:24See your family in five years.
10:27Oh, please.
10:28Girl, I'm so glad.
10:31Sweet how I am.
10:32Glad.
10:40Oh, Lord.
10:42Oh, but no, you gave us a hand to Marty.
10:45Oh, y'all come in.
10:48Look out, look out.
10:50Come on, look out.
10:51Come on, look out.
10:51Come on, look out.
10:52Come on.
10:58Hey, Uncle Bernie.
10:59Hey, hey, hey.
11:00Bernie's birthday spent fighting us, babe.
11:03How you doing, Wanda?
11:04No.
11:05Didn't fight no way, baby.
11:08I just told Lou that family was welcome here anytime.
11:12Come on.
11:13I do.
11:13Well, you know better than that to tell my friends.
11:15Put your little crippled asses.
11:16Shut up.
11:16Here he comes.
11:17Here he comes.
11:18Here he comes.
11:18Simple hairspray.
11:20And it rolls sweet.
11:21You know, Bernie, this place ain't very handicapped friendly.
11:24Neither are we.
11:25Ow!
11:26Watch the door.
11:27Let me go hide and lick it in cards and domino and stuff.
11:30Where you going?
11:31Go hide for jewelry.
11:34Oh, don't look at me like that.
11:36Listen, how about if I sit at Bunch Cram and your relative to your house.
11:39See how you feel.
11:40Yeah.
11:41See, you sweat just thinking about it, ain't you?
11:47You know, you awfully cute.
11:50Our sis.
11:51Mm-hmm.
11:52How we cousins, anyway?
11:53Her granddaddy's second wife was your auntie.
11:56Oh, by marriage.
12:03You putting out chips?
12:04Don't trip.
12:05No fat, no salt.
12:07Bust this party right up before they start giving my stuff.
12:10Mm-hmm.
12:11Say, Bernie.
12:11Yo.
12:12You got a computer where I can burn some of these CDs?
12:14You got some classics.
12:15Ooh!
12:15Smokehead Tokyo.
12:16Hot damn.
12:17You can't find these nowhere.
12:18T-bone.
12:19T-bone.
12:19Hell no.
12:19You're not stunning my music.
12:22Damn, B.
12:24You done got all brand new on it, brother.
12:26You should be giving them to me.
12:28What?
12:30Okay, Wesley, baby, you just sit here next to your cousin Brianna
12:33and Wanda.
12:35Oh, girl, I am so proud of you and Bernie.
12:38And your house is beautiful.
12:41Oh, thank you, Yvonne.
12:43You know what?
12:45I have some clothes that are too small for Brianna that would fit Wesley perfectly.
12:48Really?
12:49Mm-hmm.
12:50And, Wesley, what do we say to Aunt Wanda?
12:52Thank you, Aunt Wanda.
12:54Thank you, Aunt Wanda.
12:56All right?
12:56And this is why I don't have my degree today.
12:59Bam!
12:59That ain't, that ain't, that ain't, that ain't why you don't got your degree.
13:01Because you don't have this.
13:03Bam!
13:03Look at that right there.
13:04You ain't got nothing.
13:05Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
13:06Where you all get these cars from?
13:10Uh, under the sink.
13:11Thieves and asses.
13:12Oh, oh, oh, oh, why would you just like, you can't get your body?
13:15What'd you say?
13:16Why would you try us for a game, Barney?
13:18Ha!
13:19Bernie's yawning for space.
13:20Bernie can't play no cars.
13:21This is how you play cars.
13:23Raising it up.
13:24Bam!
13:25That's right.
13:25I can learn to love you, but loving just ain't right.
13:29Oh, no, he didn't.
13:31Oh, no, he didn't.
13:35Give him some boo.
13:39Those my cigars?
13:42Yeah, but it's too strong, car.
13:45I like the dark and loving these more bad.
13:47I hope it choked the hell out you.
13:50We got the devil in you.
13:52He already has one.
13:56It would mean so much to the family if I could write down some of your earliest memories.
14:07So you want to learn how to walk like a man, like you're about something.
14:10Heck yeah.
14:11Well, first of all, if you want to be a real cool cat, you can't wear your pants all cinched
14:16up high like this.
14:17Take that off.
14:18Yeah.
14:18Yeah, there you go now.
14:19Pull him down a little bit.
14:21Yeah.
14:21Here you go.
14:22Tuck that in.
14:23Mm-hmm.
14:23Now.
14:24Now for the walk.
14:27You got that?
14:28That's what I'm talking about.
14:30You know, God don't like ugly, and that's just how you act because you won't help me with my cooking
14:34show.
14:35You're such a good cook.
14:37Won't you cook up a job for your husband?
14:39I've got a few irons in the fire.
14:41I know why you won't help me.
14:43Why?
14:44Because you want to be the only superstar in the family, huh?
14:48Huh?
14:49To hell with you, Bernard McCullough?
15:00What the hell are you all doing?
15:01You're cousins.
15:02Oh, Aunt Sis said only by marriage.
15:09I'll talk to you later.
15:12Come.
15:13Come.
15:14Come.
15:21What's that?
15:22What's that smell?
15:30I know you ain't smoking a reef in my house.
15:32Well, technically, I'm smoking on the patio.
15:35Put that reef out.
15:36You know you can't think straight smoking that stuff.
15:39Is that how you kill a footy cat?
15:40Bernie!
15:41Put it out.
15:42Bernie!
15:43Oh, Sis ain't mad no more.
15:47It's good.
15:49Mm.
15:50He's smoking that stuff in here.
15:52Yeah?
15:53Devil is busy in here.
15:54The devil is busy in here.
15:57Oh, I'm gonna fight you like a man.
16:00Jesus, help me.
16:01Give me the strength to whip his ass.
16:04And if you don't, I'm gonna do it by myself.
16:07It needs this dope.
16:09Please.
16:10Please, Father.
16:10Get the devil out of him.
16:11Oh, crap, get behind him.
16:12You're gonna heavily rehabbed.
16:14Get behind us.
16:15Lord, let him live.
16:16Yeah, that's it.
16:17Put a little more glide in your stride, son.
16:19Come on, now.
16:20That's what I'm talking about.
16:22Stop it.
16:23Go head on with your pants here.
16:27What's wrong with your leg?
16:28Why you walking like that?
16:29Cause I'm a straight player, y'all.
16:32Them games notorious.
16:33I know you feel me with both hands, Uncle Bernie.
16:37Well, put your pants up and get him built.
16:39Hell, like you got some sense your aunts and uncles here.
16:42Come on, Uncle B.
16:43Don't hate to play hate games.
16:46That's what I'm talking about.
16:48My bad.
16:49This is my bad, yeah.
16:50I'm just teaching them how to keep it real.
16:52I mean, somebody's got to, Bernie.
16:53Yeah, I see, Carl.
16:54Why don't you keep it real getting on the bus going back to Ramallah?
16:57That's right.
16:58I want everybody out of my house.
17:00Sis, Peebo, T-Bone, Crippleloo, y'all get the hell out of my house.
17:05Whoa, whoa, what you calling me?
17:06Do it again.
17:07Come on, you want some of this?
17:09Whoa, ow, ow, ow, ow.
17:11It's about to be a bite.
17:12You see this?
17:13Now why don't you just calm down, relax.
17:15Bernie, relax.
17:16You're all tense.
17:17Tense and everything.
17:17No wonder, no wonder these kids are acting the way they act.
17:21Am I right?
17:22Huh?
17:22Am I right?
17:23You know what?
17:24You might be right on this one, Carl.
17:25Good thing they don't act like you.
17:27But if they did, they'd be a sprinter.
17:29Yeah, you know, you sure wasn't walking slow, pimping the thing,
17:32wouldn't adjust so you could have the kids.
17:34Oh, Joe, you should have saw your uncle,
17:36the way he took off when the judge didn't have y'all.
17:39He took off mad so quick, he shot off before the gun was even shot.
17:42I mean, he was gone, Speedy Gonzales.
17:45Oh, man.
17:47That's right, America.
17:48You might as well know the truth.
17:50See, our sister asked Carl to take the kids,
17:53but he got to court and turned chicken.
17:55All I saw was ass and elbow.
17:57Looked like Carl Lewis.
17:59He was...
17:59Ooh, this is a real nice quilt.
18:02Who?
18:03Who was...
18:05Was that y'all?
18:08That was Mama Lena.
18:10I wanna thank you, young people, for taking the time out to make it.
18:15Now, I might not be here for the next family reunion.
18:18Oh, now.
18:19Stop that.
18:20So, I wanna say this.
18:24Wanda, thank you for opening up your home to us.
18:28You a good girl.
18:30Talk a lot, though.
18:32Lou, I'm sorry you're in that chair,
18:35but it doesn't give you license to be an ass.
18:38And stop telling folks you got shot.
18:42Exactly.
18:43Everybody know you got scoliosis.
18:46Sis, you can't cook.
18:51Even your husband, David, don't like your cooking.
18:55He's gonna look away, too. Look at him.
18:57And Carl, where's Carl?
19:00Right here, ma'am.
19:03Now, Carl, you know Bernie is doing a wonderful job raising those children.
19:10Don't you, Carl?
19:11Oh, yeah.
19:12Don't you call?
19:15Yes, ma'am.
19:16Don't make me send you out there for a switch.
19:18Switch?
19:19Oh, my God.
19:22Bernie?
19:23Yes, ma'am.
19:24Baby, unlock that liquor and give me a shot of that yak.
19:30Good luck. Good luck.
19:35Goodbye, Matthew.
19:37Goodbye.
19:39David.
19:46All right, baby.
19:47All right, baby.
19:48All right, baby.
19:52All right, baby.
19:55Okay.
19:56All right.
19:58Why you got on high waters?
20:00Because I'm baby girl, not Wesley.
20:03I don't know who you are.
20:04But you called her baby girl at the picnic.
20:07Oh.
20:11Look here.
20:14See, she's our baby girl.
20:16But you're my baby girl.
20:18You understand?
20:19Yes.
20:20And, Brianna, you got to learn how to share.
20:22That's what family does.
20:24We help each other out.
20:25That's the good thing about being family.
20:28You understand?
20:29Yes.
20:30Good.
20:30I'm not gonna take this tight stuff off when you lose the feeling in your leg.
20:45You know, there you go.
20:49You're doing a good job with those kids.
20:52And this time, nobody's making me say that.
21:02There you go, America.
21:04You got to take the good with the bad.
21:06Even though my family got on my last nerve, I'm already looking forward to the next reunion.
21:13As long as it ain't here.
21:15As long as it ain't here.
21:22What was I saying?
21:24Oh, yeah.
21:25Family.
21:27They have everything to me.
21:30Once a child grows up to be someone you just love to burn.
21:37And I love a child grows up to be.
21:43I said it, didn't it.
21:44So family are fair!
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