The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:00Who are you with?
00:18Hey, Uncle Vernon.
00:19How are you doing?
00:20Good.
00:21Put it in.
00:21I didn't get that out of my face.
00:22I see what you do with your hands.
00:23But they're clean, I swear.
00:25Oh, they're clean, huh?
00:26Let me see you smell your thumb.
00:28Hmm, like a Carolina pie for it.
00:30Is that right?
00:31The shaky hand.
00:32Smell that one.
00:35Nice try, boy.
00:36Clean yourself up.
00:40Pranks, America, I love them.
00:42I've been pranking them kids since they got here.
00:45They can't prank me, oh no.
00:46Because you're looking at the master prank.
00:48Want to see some of Bernie Mac classics?
00:50Pay attention.
01:00Uncle Bernie, can you help me?
01:04What's up?
01:05I need to get my coat, but the door's stuck.
01:08Your door's stuck, huh?
01:20Nice try, Nestle.
01:22You ate for effort.
01:23Now clean it up.
01:36I'm telling you, man, I'm so doggone good.
01:38I should teach a class.
01:39What you think about that, Ash?
01:41That was good.
01:41That was a quality prank.
01:42I'm telling you, baby.
01:43Now you're a master prank for yourself.
01:45Now you tell me, the Mac man, what makes a good trickster, baby?
01:49You have to have a devious mind.
01:50Sure, you're right.
01:51You have to have that devious, like that thing that makes you want to hurt people.
01:54Uh-huh, diabolical.
01:55Yeah, yeah.
01:55Uh-huh, yeah.
01:56Like you.
01:57Yeah, I see it.
01:57You got it.
01:58Yeah, I got it, man.
01:59I ain't fit to be a devious, man.
02:00I know you have to.
02:01I'm telling you, boy.
02:02But you're right.
02:02But you also got to have good timing like a good comedian.
02:05That's true.
02:06You know, I got that thing.
02:07I got that heartbeat like that.
02:08Now, but let's not forget the one thing that makes a good prank a great prank.
02:12Gasoline, gunpowder, matches.
02:13I haven't tried that.
02:16I was going to say camera crew.
02:18What camera crew got to do with that?
02:20You have to record the event so other people can laugh at the person.
02:28Like, but if you don't have the camera, you can't do that.
02:33He's young.
02:35Hey, baby.
02:36Yeah?
02:37I don't know if I dig Holly Bear with this long hair.
02:41I mean, don't get me wrong.
02:42She's still a fine nine, but she was a ten.
02:44Honey, Holly's not checking for you.
02:46And I ain't checking for Holly.
02:48I'm checking for you because you're 11 and a half.
02:51Keep talking.
02:52That's me.
02:53What's wrong, Holly Bear?
02:55Oh, honey, that's a rat right there.
02:56A rat right where?
03:00That ain't no rat.
03:02That's probably the kids playing a prank.
03:04They've been trying to get me all week.
03:05That ain't no rat.
03:06You know, America, I feel bad for them kids.
03:09They're like lambs to the slaughter.
03:11Hey, I'm unprankable.
03:12I'm master not only of pranks, but counterprankmentation.
03:18My defense make the 85 Bear look real song.
03:22Garden?
03:24I'm telling you, granted, it ain't look real and everything, you know.
03:29I'll give the kids credit for that.
03:30Yeah, I can tell, I can see how his ears lay back up.
03:33Baby, it's a rat in here.
03:34Look at that, baby.
03:35It is a real rat.
03:36Oh, Lord.
03:37Honey, don't pass out.
03:40Oh, honey.
03:44And your Uncle Bernie thinks he is so unprankable.
03:48Oh, but when he found out it was real,
03:51he jumped up on the bed and said,
03:53Oh, Lord, and dropped like a lion.
03:58Oh, he got him so good.
04:00Oh, oh, where's the nasty little thing anyway?
04:03I don't know.
04:03He jumped out of the box for a kid to put the lid on.
04:06What?
04:07I wonder, he was fast.
04:08And he was all zigzagging.
04:11Oh, uh, in here.
04:14Cahoots is a conspiracy that wanted a ringleader.
04:18Scandalous.
04:19Why would she go and join up with them?
04:21American women, y'all better learn which side your bread is butter.
04:26Hey, baby.
04:27Hmm?
04:28Baby.
04:29Hmm?
04:29We got to deal with this rat business.
04:31I'm talking about quickly and permanently.
04:32Oh, uh, yeah.
04:34Uh, I guess you're right.
04:35Hmm.
04:36Maybe we should look into one of those healthy traps.
04:40Uh, you know, something, um, humane?
04:44Healthy trap, huh?
04:45Yeah.
04:46All right.
04:48I'll handle it.
04:48Okay.
04:51Humane.
04:52I'm opting for something cruel and unusual,
04:55but I'm gonna handle it.
04:56She making a mistake, y'all,
04:58because when you bring a rat in a magman house,
05:00it's no longer a game, baby.
05:01It's war.
05:03And Bernie Mac got a seafood weapon.
05:05Chemical warfare.
05:06Huh.
05:07Okay.
05:08Ew.
05:08Bring it on.
05:10You dirty rat.
05:14Hey, baby.
05:15Thank God you're back.
05:16Don't tell me that rat again.
05:18It's worse.
05:19It's a dead dog, and it's back here.
05:20Oh.
05:23Come on, you ain't getting me, man.
05:24What you talking about?
05:25Well, I gotta show you something.
05:26It better be good.
05:27Oh, it's better than good.
05:28We got a situation.
05:29I found the rat poison,
05:31and how could you be so irresponsible?
05:32Me?
05:33It's your fault.
05:34My fault?
05:34Doggone right.
05:35You tried to prank with that rat.
05:36I heard you in there talking to the kids.
05:38Okay, fine.
05:39That was a prank, all right?
05:40You left the poison out,
05:42and it turned into something a little bit more serious.
05:44Oh, look at that.
05:46Dog.
05:47Look at that.
05:47He foaming at the mouth.
05:48Cut it back up.
05:49Sweet dog.
05:49Go on.
05:50He's foaming at the mouth because that's the poison.
05:53I think we should call animal control.
05:55Hey, I'm poor little thing.
05:57He wasn't bothering nobody.
05:58I'm going to go in there and get a pitchfork and a walk.
06:00You know what?
06:01I think you've done enough.
06:02Why don't you just go inside, and I'll handle this.
06:05Okay.
06:06Go.
06:08This is horrible, America.
06:10I was just aiming to kill a vermin, but a dead dog,
06:12that's man's best friend.
06:14I'm lucky it was a stray.
06:15Hey, nobody lost a friend tonight.
06:18That's the good thing about it.
06:19Nobody lost a friend.
06:20Bernie, I don't think that pranks
06:22are supposed to have body counts.
06:26Not another word, Ashton, okay?
06:29You either.
06:31Is this wrong?
06:33I know it is.
06:34It was a dog.
06:36I killed it.
06:37Did you ever see Old Yeller?
06:39No.
06:40What was that about?
06:41How do you think that little boy,
06:42but the dog with the,
06:43did it die from the thing?
06:45I feel bad enough.
06:46Red front grows?
06:47I feel bad enough, Ashton.
06:48I don't need all that.
06:49I feel like a gang bank.
06:51I killed my dog.
06:53No.
06:59America.
06:59I learned my lesson.
07:01This war has had one casually too many.
07:04I prayed my last prayer.
07:06The high priest of high jinx
07:07is hanging up his whoopee cushion.
07:12Whoa.
07:13Oh,
07:14oh,
07:14oh,
07:14mercy,
07:15mercy,
07:16me.
07:19Oh,
07:20things ain't what they used to be.
07:22Oh,
07:24where did all the blue skies go?
07:28Poison is the wind that blows.
07:31From the Lord,
07:32did something see?
07:34Oh,
07:35mercy,
07:36mercy,
07:37me.
07:40things ain't what they used to be.
07:42You know,
07:43yeah.
07:45Oh,
07:45it's picked off right there.
07:47Oh,
07:47listen.
07:48Oh,
07:49this is when you thought he wasn't going to have a big half.
07:52Here's...
07:52Oh,
07:52okay.
07:53Nice,
07:53guys.
07:55Anthony tries to work it inside.
07:57Gets it there to Frierson.
07:58He's picked up by...
07:59Oh,
08:01Switching to man-to-man defense.
08:02Looks like you're able to confuse it.
08:06Okay,
08:07watch,
08:08watch.
08:13Hey,
08:19he stopped flipping.
08:21Huh?
08:25Look at them stupid kids.
08:27And I'm not even pranking back.
08:28And that's the best they can do.
08:30They're lucky I hung up my guns.
08:32But to keep it up,
08:33I'm still not above a ass whooping.
08:35And that's almost as good as a prank.
08:37Ha.
08:45Hey,
08:46Carl,
08:46how you doing?
08:48Not too good.
08:49My dog,
08:50Maury.
08:51He's missing.
08:52Maury?
08:53I didn't know you had a dog.
08:55That poor fellow's been housebound since he was hit by a car six years ago.
08:59Don't ever take your hips for granted.
09:02Too good hips.
09:04They don't come easy.
09:05That's too bad.
09:07How long have you been missing?
09:08Well,
09:09Maury likes to keep to himself.
09:11It's not uncommon to go a few days without seeing him.
09:14Usually,
09:15it's only a matter of finding his humpy toy.
09:18And he's never very far away.
09:22Anywho,
09:23the maid was worried that she might have left the door open yesterday.
09:26And we can't find him anywhere.
09:29You haven't seen him, have you?
09:30No, I ain't seen him.
09:31What make you think I saw him?
09:32Yeah, well,
09:33no,
09:33I'll go check some of the neighbors.
09:34I'm going to check the neighbor.
09:35Yeah.
09:37Maury.
09:40No,
09:40I ain't seen him.
09:42I know what you think in America.
09:44Dead dog in my yard.
09:45Carl missing the dog.
09:47Got to be Carl's dog.
09:48But it ain't like that.
09:49Can't be.
09:50No.
09:51No,
09:51it's just one of those horrible coincidences.
09:53You know,
09:54like you're living with your heart in your throat.
09:56Ain't none of y'all had no pregnancy scare?
09:58Think about it.
09:59That dog in my yard,
10:00it wasn't a humpy-torn nowhere near.
10:04Honey,
10:05what's wrong?
10:07Carl Reiner's dog was messing.
10:09His dog?
10:10Yeah.
10:12Where the heck you been?
10:14I was helping Mr. Reiner put up these flyers around the neighborhood.
10:18Yeah.
10:20You ever seen that dog before, baby?
10:22Uh-uh.
10:22That's okay.
10:23Mr. Reiner already brought in a dog psychic.
10:26And the guy already suspects there may be some foul play involved.
10:29How do you know some mean old dog catcher didn't get him?
10:31Look, look, look.
10:32Shut up about that dog on dog, okay?
10:34I don't hear nothing about no dog.
10:35Everybody just shut up about talking about dogs and stuff.
10:37And just be quiet.
10:38Let's eat.
10:39I'm sure we'll find Chester, too.
10:40He's probably just hiding.
10:41Did you hear what I just said, Jordan?
10:44Chester's not a dog.
10:45He's my pet rat.
10:46Pet rat?
10:47Yeah.
10:48He was a surprise from Aunt Wanda.
10:50We were going to use him as a prank, but we just bonded.
10:54Chester.
10:55Chester?
10:56Stupid boy shouldn't have brought that vermin in here.
10:59Now, Chester's dead and Maury's dead.
11:01And I got to go over and tell my neighbor that I killed his best friend.
11:05Hey.
11:07Carl, listen.
11:08Listen.
11:08You killed my dog, Maury?
11:11As a prank?
11:12No, Carl, it wasn't like that.
11:14You are a sicko.
11:16Carl, it was a rat.
11:18Sicko!
11:20Listen, Carl, it wasn't like...
11:21You're a sicko!
11:23It wasn't like that.
11:25Sick, sick, sick, sicko!
11:27Today you killed my dog.
11:28Tomorrow, what?
11:29You're going to burn a cross on my lawn?
11:31You're a sicko!
11:33Well, I'm black.
11:34Well, act like one!
11:36What?
11:36You're a sicko!
11:37You're a black sicko!
11:42Listen.
11:44Yeah, go.
11:46Go seek professional help, you sicko!
11:49Sicko!
11:53Keep your dogs on a leash!
11:54There's a sick man around who thinks it's funny to kill your dogs!
12:10Hey, Carl, how you doing?
12:11Um, I just came by to pay my respects, and I brought Wanda with me, who's partially to blame.
12:17But we're not here to point fingers.
12:18Well, as long as you're here.
12:22Come in.
12:29Wow.
12:30He did.
12:32This must be his little toy, have you?
12:35I'm sorry, old boy.
12:38I, uh, see you found Maury's humpy toy.
12:48Hey, old brother.
12:55Hey, what you all doing here?
12:57The whole neighborhood was invited.
13:00We're here for Mr. Reiner.
13:01It's not easy missing a pet.
13:04Chester.
13:06They'll find out who did it.
13:08The dog's like, you must be getting close.
13:09I'd like to begin our ceremony with a poem that Maury and I wrote together.
13:15Well, actually, Maury inspired the poem.
13:18It's entitled,
13:20The Sooner I Die,
13:23The Sooner I Shall See You Again.
13:26Oh, Lord.
13:29The Sooner I Die.
13:42That was Maury's favorite.
13:45I want to thank you all for coming and making today a celebration.
13:50Otherwise, it would have been just another day without Maury.
13:55I especially want to thank my wife, my wonderful wife, Estelle.
13:59She's always been my rock, never more than today.
14:02And Ira and Helen for coming all the way from Palm Springs with that delicious potato guggle.
14:09I only wish I had the stomach for it.
14:11And, of course, the star of stage and screen and murderer of Maury, Mr. Bernie.
14:22Oh, come on.
14:27Stop.
14:28It was an accident.
14:29Y'all don't understand.
14:30I love Maury, too.
14:34Now, now, now, if the Pope can forgive the man who shot him, I can forgive the man who murdered
14:40my Maury.
14:42You gotta say it like that.
14:44Now, please, please.
14:46Bernie didn't mean to kill my dog.
14:49It was all an accident.
14:50He was simply trying to kill his nephew's pet rat with some rat poison.
14:56Rat poison?
14:58No.
14:59Chester.
15:02I thought he was just hiding.
15:04Uncle Bernie, how could you?
15:06Oh, come on.
15:09Look, look.
15:10It was a prank.
15:11It was all part of a prank.
15:12I didn't know that was your pet rat, Jordan.
15:14That's why I didn't.
15:15Jordan, would you care to come up here and join me?
15:25Miles.
15:41Jordan, I'm sorry.
15:42Sorry doesn't bring him back.
15:44It's just a rat.
15:45He was a rat with a name.
15:47Chester the Jester Timberlake Houdini.
16:02I thought you could use a surprise, Carl.
16:05Hey, hey, hey.
16:06Don't worry about it.
16:07The least I can do for you.
16:08Bernie, can I ask you something?
16:11Sure, Carl.
16:11Carl, if I killed one of you kids, how would you feel if I swung by an orphanage and presented
16:18you with a new child?
16:20Why don't you just let me grieve in peace?
16:26You're a sicko.
16:32Hey.
16:33Hey, baby.
16:34How'd it go?
16:36I think Carl saying that new dog just made him feel worse.
16:39Asked me if I got the thingy neutered for a sick thrill.
16:42Oh.
16:43Where's the dog, honey?
16:45I took him to the park.
16:46And?
16:47I took him to the park.
16:49Jordan come out of the room yet?
16:50No, honey.
16:51I'm sorry.
16:51Not yet.
16:53Dang.
16:53Why not?
16:55A sick prank like this leading to all this.
16:58Well, honey, this is your first prank to end in death, but not your first I heard someone.
17:03Oh, thank you, Wanda.
17:05I honestly thought I couldn't feel any worse.
17:07Needed to be alone for a while.
17:12Okay, honey.
17:16Maury, if I only knew you.
17:18Mm.
17:20Hey!
17:22Come here.
17:23Come here.
17:24What the?
17:26Gotcha!
17:27Gotcha!
17:28Gotcha!
17:28Gotcha!
17:29Gotcha!
17:30What?
17:30Come on, man.
17:31This can't be.
17:32I saw this dog foaming dead.
17:34He wasn't dead, Bernie.
17:35He's a trained actor.
17:37What the hell?
17:39How can this be?
17:40Ha!
17:41Bernie, you have been played.
17:44The man who says he is unfrankable?
17:46The king of comedy has been smacked.
17:50You got got.
17:51Man, I mean, I've pulled off some sweet pranks, but Bernie, this is what these guys did.
17:56That was just, that was, that was art.
18:00You're a chick.
18:02That was party.
18:04And he always foams after a nice egg green.
18:08Now watch this.
18:09You, you, you, you, you, everybody plays the fool sometimes.
18:18They use your heart just like a tooth.
18:22Listen, baby.
18:24So you mean to tell me all that being crushed in that funeral was just an act, huh?
18:29Hey, I'm the one who trained Maury.
18:32And that was my poker day.
18:34But the guys, they were coming over anyway.
18:36He's coming, he's coming, he's coming.
18:40Everybody plays the fool sometimes.
18:45No exception to the moon.
18:51Baby back, show on, baby cool.
18:54And the French horn?
18:55My nephew, not bad, huh?
18:58So you telling me that rat was just a feeder, wasn't a real pet?
19:02No, just was my pet, I just don't know where he is.
19:05So, Joy, you mean to tell me you got a real rat running around loose in my house?
19:08Boy, I put down rat poison.
19:10Actually, Uncle Bernie, what you put down was just table salt.
19:13Chester may have high blood pressure, but he's not dead.
19:16He's just missing.
19:18Okay.
19:18You know you messed up, don't you?
19:20You mess with the king, the pranks.
19:22It's on now.
19:23Y'all heard me to the fullers.
19:24It's on.
19:25Mr. Prank.
19:27I'm telling you.
19:28It's on.
19:29Come on, now, don't be like that.
19:33Admit it, we out-pranked the master.
19:36I ain't talking to you, Wanda.
19:37I thought I could trust you.
19:39I'm sorry, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry.
19:44Yeah, all is fair in love and war, right?
19:46Yeah, I guess so.
19:58That is a double prank.
20:00Now, okay, look, you've been pranked twice.
20:03They got you twice.
20:06Okay, I've never seen this before.
20:08I've heard about it, but I always thought it was like a myth,
20:11like a lore, the double prank.
20:16Stop, Ash, come on, now.
20:19Hell, no, I can't go out like that.
20:20I'm too doggone good.
20:21I'll tell you that right now.
20:22Uh-huh.
20:23I've got to get my respect back.
20:24I'm coming out of retirement.
20:26Good luck with that.
20:27That's great.
20:28You have to do something.
20:28Okay, what are you going to do?
20:30Well, first of all, I think Wanda and the kid.
20:35No, I'm not going to mess with Wanda and the kid.
20:37I would say that's a good call.
20:38But I'll tell you something.
20:39You know, George Clooney out of town.
20:41This house could use a good painting.
20:42You know, what do you think about Dirty Diaper Brow?
20:46What do you think about that?
20:47I would go with like a lime green.
20:49Yeah, that's sweet, too.
20:49That's sweet, that's sweet, too.
20:51So it disappears with the law.
20:52Uh-huh, but I tell you, somebody out there that deserves the most biggest prank of all,
20:56though.
20:57Somebody still looking out there.
20:58Who?
20:59You know, I'm just saying.
21:01Somebody still out there who needs to get got.
21:04Who's that?
21:10You know, somebody's still out there.
21:12Who?
21:18With me?
21:21No, that's not going to happen.
21:22Yeah, that's not going to happen?
21:24No.
21:24I'm going to tell you, you don't never know when it's going to come.
21:27So you're falling from me.
21:29Start it right now.
21:32It's not going to happen.
21:33It's not going to happen.
21:36Rub your .
21:39Hey, guys.
21:40Hey, guys.
21:40Hey, guys.
21:40Hey, guys.
21:41Hey, guys.
21:41Hey, guys.
21:41Hey, guys.
21:41Hey, guys.
21:41Hey, guys.
21:43Hey, guys.
21:43Hey, guys.
21:45Hey, guys.
21:45Hey, guys.
21:46Hey, guys.
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