The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:00Who are you with?
00:18Hey, baby girl.
00:20Uncle Bernie, I hate being the youngest.
00:23When am I going to be the oldest?
00:25It don't work that way.
00:26Well, when am I going to be older than Jordan?
00:29It don't work that way either.
00:30But that's not fair.
00:32I know it isn't.
00:37Okay.
00:38When you get 11, you'll be able to be older than Jordan, okay?
00:41Yes!
00:41Isn't she adorable, America?
00:43Look how happy she is.
00:45And maybe I was right.
00:47Girls do mature fastening boys.
00:50And especially when it comes to good sense.
00:52She might be older than Jordan right now.
00:54The thing is, sometimes you got to tell kids what they need to hear.
00:59It best be cleaning up before I get out there.
01:02Or somebody will get their butt whooped.
01:05See, America, they needed to hear that.
01:10Uncle Bernie, popcorn's ready.
01:13Well, I'm not.
01:14And popcorn don't rule me.
01:15I'm trying to pick the right movie.
01:17Everybody wants to see Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
01:20Well, get used to disappointment.
01:23I'll just say something wrong.
01:49My Red Fox ticket stub.
01:52Someone stole my Red Fox ticket stub.
01:58America, I've been robbed.
02:00Violated.
02:01Somebody reached out and snatched a piece of my pants.
02:041987, lost Vegas.
02:07One of the proudest nights of my life.
02:09The night I'd open up for Red Fox.
02:11First time my name was on a marquee.
02:14Who would do such a diabolical thing?
02:16Who would come up in here and...
02:19Freak.
02:26I didn't even know you had a dumb stub.
02:28Red Fox is our fairy.
02:32Let me tell you something.
02:34You start icing your ass right now, boy.
02:36You hear me?
02:40But I had to take it.
02:42It's for a school assignment.
02:43To steal something that don't belong to you, Jordan?
02:45No, to put something meaningful in the time capsule
02:48so that when people open it in 50 years,
02:50they'll know all about us.
02:51Us?
02:52It ain't no us.
02:53That stub belong to me.
02:54They be learning about me.
02:55Only thing they're gonna be learning about you,
02:57they're gonna be buried right next to it.
02:58And I want you to give it back.
02:59You hear me?
03:00Uh, Jordan, why don't you put something in it of your own?
03:03But it has to be something that connects us to the past.
03:06Like your ticket stub connects you to Red Fox.
03:08Why don't you connect something from your own past,
03:09like something you came here with?
03:11I didn't come here with anything.
03:12Come on now, boy.
03:13You got off the plane with a bag full of stuff.
03:15Oh, that was a shopping bag.
03:16I know what it was, honey.
03:17It was a bag full of stuff.
03:18Oh, yeah, clothes in it, which we sort of disposed to.
03:21She burned them.
03:26Oh, don't look at me like that, America.
03:29They had fleas, I had to burn them.
03:30Either that or the boy had to wear a flea collar.
03:33But see, now I know why he took my stuff.
03:35He was just trying to make some connection with his past.
03:37You know, get a sense of history.
03:39See, you know what he needs right now?
03:41It's a parent.
03:42Somebody to show him just a little love.
03:44Somebody to explain to him his unfortunate beginners.
03:47You know, break it down to the level where the boy can understand.
03:52Somebody like...
03:53Like me.
03:58Jordan?
04:09I know you want to have something from your past.
04:13But you can't expect to have anything when you don't come from anything.
04:17And I know the truth is hard.
04:20But the truth is...
04:24Life dealt you a bad hand.
04:26And you just got to play your low pair.
04:31Son, you ain't throwing the one that had it rough.
04:33Shoot.
04:33When I was your way, I lost my mama.
04:36My daddy was worse than yours.
04:38I don't even remember my daddy.
04:39That's because he was out of there, man, before you was potty trained.
04:42Four years now.
04:43Out of there.
04:46Move on.
04:48Head up!
04:52Head up!
04:56America.
04:56That's called tough love.
04:58And that's what the boy needed.
05:00Not some kissy-huggy episode of Dr. Phil.
05:03My daddy wasn't there.
05:04I have abandonment issues.
05:06Please.
05:06I'm teaching that boy how to be a man.
05:09How to roll with the punches.
05:10He may miss out on this school assignment,
05:13but he'll get an eight from the School of Hard Knocks.
05:16That's what I'm talking about.
05:17School of Hard Knocks.
05:19Listen.
05:24So, Jesus fell three times on his way to the crucifixion,
05:28all the while carrying a cross on his back
05:31and wearing a crown of thorns,
05:33which I might add was very uncomfortable.
05:36No pain, no gain.
05:38At least he ought to be the son of God.
05:40Jordan, you should be ashamed of yourself.
05:44Jesus' suffering should not be taken lightly.
05:46So he had it rough.
05:47Big deal.
05:48Couldn't he just suck it up like the rest of us?
05:50I had it rough too.
05:52But you don't see people hanging little steps
05:54from me over the bed.
06:03Babe, I'm telling you, the boy's a devil.
06:04Look at him.
06:05I only told him the hard truth like you told me, Uncle Bernie.
06:08That when life deals your rough hand,
06:10you gotta play the low payer.
06:13You said that about Jesus?
06:16Just the opposite.
06:16I was talking about the boy's father.
06:18Yeah, how he left us and doesn't care.
06:20Oh, Bernie, you shouldn't have said that.
06:22Why not?
06:23It's the truth.
06:24And I say good for Uncle Bernie.
06:27Vanessa.
06:28What?
06:28I'm just telling it like a T.I.E. is.
06:34I'm gonna go watch Mr. Ed.
06:39I'm gonna go talk to the boy.
06:41Mr. Ed.
06:42Boy!
06:44It whitened.
06:45What?
06:45It brightened.
06:47Get out those nasty coffee stains.
06:49With Dentist Sparkle.
07:00Jordan, I know I shouldn't have told you no things about your father.
07:03No, it's fine.
07:04No, no.
07:04I know it hurts.
07:05No, it doesn't.
07:06Because he doesn't care about us, and I don't care about him.
07:09Jordan, that's a little strong.
07:10He does care.
07:11It just isn't how what it takes to stick it out.
07:13No, he doesn't care.
07:14Because if he cared, he wouldn't have left.
07:16But he never even thought about us again.
07:23America, see, you let me push the boy too far.
07:27But don't worry.
07:28I'll pull him back in.
07:29See, this all started because Jordan didn't have something to connect him to his past.
07:33So I'll just give him something to tell him that it's from his dad.
07:37You know, something small, valuable.
07:40You know, one of a kind.
07:46Maybe it's just something small.
07:48This is nice.
07:50Real nice.
07:53Yeah.
08:03Hey, man.
08:05I got something for you.
08:06I don't want anything.
08:07Oh, you don't want this?
08:09This was your dad's.
08:10This was my dad?
08:11Yeah.
08:12My dad had a monocular?
08:14Nothing I know of.
08:16Oh, yeah, that's what that is.
08:17Yeah.
08:17Yeah, that's what he had.
08:18Why didn't you give me this before?
08:20Well, he asked me to hold it until your 18th birthday, Jordan.
08:23I figured you need it now.
08:25But why would he want to be to have this?
08:27Well, actually, he loved that little doohickey.
08:30But since you're his only son, it's only natural that he passes it down to you.
08:33You're the same way you're passing it down to your son.
08:34But what if I have twins?
08:36Then you're going to have a dilemma.
08:38But the point is, as I keep saying, now you have something that your father now belongs
08:43to you.
08:43Oh, thanks, Uncle Bernie.
08:45I'm going to go show Brianna.
08:46Go ahead, man.
08:50Well, that was a choice.
08:53Unless you got a better one.
08:54I got the boy happy again.
09:03It's like I said before, America.
09:05Sometimes you got to tell a kid what they need to hear.
09:08Give them something to hold on to.
09:10So I fabricated a little.
09:12You do it, too.
09:13Tell your children there's a fat man who live on the North Pole to bring them presents.
09:16I told the boy his dad had a monocular.
09:19Uh-huh, my lie is this big.
09:23Your lie has reindeer.
09:25So who the bullsh**t?
09:28Every year.
09:30Can you read it?
09:32Eight of diamonds.
09:33Go down three more houses.
09:36Hey, what you doing?
09:38Testing my dad's monocular.
09:39Keep on going.
09:42Let me see.
09:48Lord, help me.
09:50Baby girl, get out the middle of the street.
09:52Okay.
09:54Brianna, bring the cards home.
09:55Then I'll let you use my monocular and look up my nose and see my brain.
10:02You know, it ain't going to be much to look at.
10:04Y'all know that, don't you?
10:09I don't know what flood.
10:11What?
10:12Let me see.
10:15Ain't no flood.
10:16All I see is Miss Bolton dressing.
10:19The TV is on the Weather Channel.
10:21Oh.
10:23Yeah, Jordan and friends, stop peeping.
10:27I bet my dad used this thing all the time.
10:30I bet he did.
10:31So when did he give it to you?
10:33Uh, at the reunion, he was a little baby.
10:36I think I remember that.
10:40This plant of yours comes with a pretty big shovel.
10:43I know, baby.
10:44The boy's so damn inquisitive.
10:45Why he just can't take a lot of face value?
10:48That's the last one, I promise.
10:49So, what did my dad use this monocular for?
10:52He was a sergeant in arms.
10:54Of course.
10:56That's probably why he was never around.
10:58Because he was busy on a mission.
11:00Who are you talking about?
11:01Dad, Uncle Bernie gave me his monocular.
11:04Sergeant, I said, you can't touch it.
11:06He gave it to me.
11:08Did you know Dad was a sergeant in the Army?
11:11He spied on enemies.
11:13He'd sneak up on them and say, surrender in the name of the U.S. of A.
11:17And he'd kick him in the butt on the way back to base.
11:19I bet his uniform was covered in medals.
11:23I'm going to go on a recon mission.
11:24I'll have a full part for you later.
11:27Good, Captain.
11:30You lied to him?
11:32Our dad was never in the Army.
11:35I know that, Nessa, but it was almost like he was POW.
11:38He was surrounded by men with uniform and guns.
11:41Had he tried to escape, had he shot them.
11:43It was close enough.
11:47Ain't it?
11:57You know, your Uncle Bernie didn't mean any harm.
12:06Okay.
12:10He told Jordan that our dad was some big war hero.
12:13But he wasn't a hero.
12:15He wasn't anything.
12:17He was just the guy that left us.
12:20And now Jordan's running around thinking that some stupid toy is going to change that.
12:26You know what?
12:26I should tell him the truth.
12:30And what would that do?
12:33I don't know, but I'm just so mad at him.
12:40So, who are you really mad at?
12:43Your Uncle Bernie?
12:45Or your father?
12:52I'm telling you, baby, Nessa ain't said not one word to me, not one.
12:56I mean, I know, silence is golden, but I don't know if I like it like that.
12:59Honey, you should try talking to her again.
13:02I tried talking to her.
13:03Every time I tried to talk to Nessa, she walked out of the room.
13:06I didn't know she had all those issues about her daddy.
13:09Wasn't her mama enough?
13:10Why can't she just hold up family inside and get high blood pressure like normal people?
13:27What the hell is going on in here, Jordan?
13:30My dad's binocular, it's gone.
13:32I can't find it anywhere, it's gone.
13:42America, why that little nut-hey had to go lose his daddy all over again?
13:46That wasn't part of the plan, damn manocular.
13:49Why this stuff always gotta happen to me?
13:51Bernie Mac's a victim of his own compassion.
13:56Jordan, we'll find it in the morning.
13:58We'll just retrace all your stuff.
14:00Now, how hard can that be?
14:03That's my man.
14:07Come on.
14:12Jordan, you mean to tell me you spent two hours playing in the grass?
14:15I was camouflaging myself like my dad probably did in the Gulf War.
14:19You think he ever shot a man?
14:21Oh, I know he did.
14:23A hero.
14:25Yeah.
14:26We gotta find it.
14:27It's my most valued possession.
14:32Now I know why they call them filthy liars.
14:35Look at me, America.
14:36I'm filthy.
14:38Well, now, if you would excuse me, I have another acre of sod I must pull up to find a
14:44fake war hero monocular.
14:46You know, this is some bull.
14:48You start one lie, you gotta tell another.
14:50That's why I don't lie, man.
14:54Jordan!
14:55Jordan!
14:56I'm in here, Uncle Bernie.
14:59Hey.
15:02Don't you hang out in dog houses?
15:04Well, that's my headquarters.
15:05I sit here and I scan my horizon.
15:08You think my dad liked dogs?
15:09Well, I remember one time in particular he was surrounded by them.
15:12After we find my dad's monocular, can we go to the Army surplus store and get some dog tags made?
15:17Some dog tags?
15:18Yeah, and they can say Sergeant Tompkins.
15:20Just like my dad's.
15:24Dog tags?
15:25If you really want to be like his dad, he should be wearing house arrest model on his ankle.
15:30You know, those little things, like little pages.
15:33You know, you turn on cops.
15:34The one I had...
15:36Let's move on.
15:50Something just ain't right.
15:59Somebody been trying to look at my Pam Grier.
16:07Look like Joy been trying to get a close-up look.
16:12Hey, I don't know whether you'd be upset or rejoice.
16:16But the real question is, what do I do about this?
16:30So you found it?
16:32Yeah.
16:33I guess you're going to give it to him, right?
16:38Hop in here for a minute.
16:39Come on.
16:44Look.
16:45Why didn't you just leave things the way they were?
16:47Why'd you have to go and lie to Jordan?
16:48I'm just trying to get a boy something to hold on to, Nessa.
16:51There's nothing about our father worth holding on to.
16:54Look, I'm sorry your father hurt you, and I'm sorry I hurt you.
16:57He might not have been no same, but he's still your father.
16:59You probably got a good memory or two, don't you?
17:02I just remember him leaving.
17:04I just remember him leaving.
17:07Nessa.
17:11I'm Katie Nessa.
17:13I'll leave you alone.
17:18He was laughing.
17:21What?
17:24I was about five, and Jordan was still a baby.
17:30We were in the tub, and he was laughing.
17:38See, Nessa right there.
17:41That's a memory right there.
17:43You know, your father may not have stuck around, but for that one moment, your father was a daddy.
17:51That's a memory that you have.
17:53Jordan don't have that memory, real or not.
17:57And this monocular is the only thing that gives him something to hold on to.
18:01Now, I ask you, you sure you want to take this away from him?
18:07ergoney, he might does not need something to hold on to him.
18:11Come from home.
18:12All right.
18:12Come for it.
18:13You'll be in touch.
18:15I had a journey, I'm sorry in life.
18:16Oh, Mom.
18:18You've missed me.
18:19You're broken, I'm sorry.
18:26I'm okay.
18:27I'm sorry, so you're assimiled.
18:32I'm stuck around.
18:32I don't deal except for dinner food.
18:34I was stuck around.
18:34I fois ago, I got sex I had all of my friends and old friends,
18:37Jordan, come here.
18:40Hey.
18:46Look.
18:49That baby with the pointy head.
18:51You?
18:53Is that our dad?
18:55Yeah, and that's me.
18:57Here.
18:58I can have it?
19:00Yeah, but make sure you take care of it.
19:02It's the only picture we have of him.
19:04Thanks.
19:05Uncle Bernie, I want him to look.
19:07That's me with the pointy head.
19:08Would you look at that?
19:10That's my dad.
19:11He's very handsome.
19:12Yeah.
19:14How do you think he's not wearing his army uniform?
19:18Um, I don't think he had to wear it every day.
19:22I'm gonna go put this in a frame.
19:28I am very proud of you.
19:29Ain't nothing like the real thing that...
19:32What's wrong with you?
19:34Nothing.
19:36I can't wrap this up in a bow, America.
19:39Because parenting isn't like that.
19:41It's tricky.
19:42Just when you think you got it knocked,
19:44that's when something's gonna trip you up.
19:46See, Jordan had a problem.
19:48I did the best I could.
19:49I didn't have the answers.
19:51I gave him a monocular and some nice stories.
19:53But Nessa, she did what I couldn't do.
19:57She gave him something real.
19:59And I'm proud of her, too.
20:02You go, girl.
20:04Nessa.
20:14Oh, nice thing you did for your brother.
20:16Yeah.
20:17I mean, I figured I could give up my picture
20:19because I'm sure my dad left something for me.
20:21Yeah.
20:22You know, like those suede boots
20:24with the skinny heels we saw at the mall?
20:26Nice try.
20:27I had to give it a shot.
20:29You did.
20:32Did it work?
20:35We'll see.
20:40I can't lie to you, America.
20:43I might get her those boots.
20:46I might.
20:59So, I guess you found it then, right?
21:02Oh, don't go in there.
21:03You want to let it air out a little bit.
21:08Hey, camera only.
21:09Marker.
21:10Who's that baby with the ugly, man?
21:13Ugly pointy head.
21:15Who's that ugly baby with the pointy head?
21:17Man, that's the one who pooed it.
21:19Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
21:28no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
21:28no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
21:28no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
21:28no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
21:28no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
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