The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Who you with?
00:18I suppose you're wondering why I asked you back down here today, Mr. Martin.
00:23Yeah, I am kind of wondering because the boy been in trouble for every doggone thing.
00:28I'm trying to figure out what's next.
00:29Take a look at these. That'll tell you the whole story.
00:34Wow. Father, looking like a spelling test to me.
00:38You'll notice that each is marked with a hundred. Perfect score.
00:46A little damn cheat.
00:49And we felt the same at first, Mr. Mark.
00:52So I put three proctors on him, and we watched.
00:58And we waited.
01:02In addition to having a mild case of kleptomania, we discovered the boy can spell with the fury of St.
01:13Michael.
01:15You kid.
01:18That seemed like a good thing, though, Father. So what seem to be the problem?
01:21The problem is the boy will only spell for grades, not for the glory of Damien Elementary.
01:25I'm afraid if I don't follow you even less than usual to city-wide spelling bee, Mr. Mack.
01:31For five years running, we've got our butts kicked by St. Angelos.
01:35The boy's our only chance.
01:38That's where you come in.
01:39Damn right that's where I come in, America.
01:42Look at these.
01:43Hundred.
01:44Hundred.
01:46Doggone it.
01:47Doggone it.
01:48Doggone it.
01:48This boy batting a thousand.
01:49Shoot.
01:51Back in the day, I used to hate spelling.
01:56Back in the day.
01:57Bernard, the word is rhythm.
02:00Rhythm.
02:02Rhythm?
02:03R-I-T-H-U-M.
02:07Rhythm.
02:08R-I-T-H-U-M.
02:11I was eight, America.
02:13But I got better.
02:15But Jordan, he don't have to work at it.
02:17He's a natural-born speller.
02:19He got a mind like a tack.
02:21He uses it for evil sometimes, but we finally found something he can put his mind that won't
02:26require punishment.
02:27Academics.
02:28Hell yes, America.
02:30This is exactly where I come in.
02:32I got better, too.
02:34Uh, campus.
02:36Q.
02:37Q.
02:39Campus.
02:39Camp.
02:40Camp.
02:41Camp.
02:41There's a vowel in there.
02:44The spelling bees are for geeks and losers.
02:46Oh, what type of tie you want?
02:47Wear a bow tie for the competition?
02:49Let me help you, baby.
02:49Good Jordan, sweetie.
02:50There is nothing geeky about using your mind.
02:52See?
02:53See, hold it, baby.
02:54Hold it.
02:55Son, listen to what you aren't talking about.
02:56Ain't nothing geeky about going to a college of your own choice.
03:01Or even becoming a multi-millionaire.
03:03Or having your own spelling bee TV show.
03:06Listen up, boy.
03:07I'm gonna tell you something I ain't never even told your aunt.
03:10I was in a spelling bee once.
03:12You were?
03:13You're a doggone right, and I lost in the first doggone round.
03:16I couldn't spell the word rhythm.
03:18Well, rhythm's easy.
03:20Yeah, but it's a trick to it.
03:21You wouldn't think it was more-
03:23R-H-Y-T-H-M.
03:24Vow to it.
03:25So you mean I could do something better than you?
03:29Unfortunately.
03:30Okay, I'll enter.
03:31That's what I'm talking about.
03:33Hey, Jordan, what you doing?
03:34Watching TV.
03:36How many times I tell you, man, television's not in your brain.
03:38Come on, we gotta spell it.
03:39We need to study poor.
03:40Come on.
03:41Okay, I'm gonna start you off with a real hard one.
03:43Here go one.
03:45Pneumonia.
03:48Pneumonia.
03:49Pneumonia.
03:49Ding.
03:51Project, Uncle Bernie, project.
03:53Nessa, how many times I'm gonna have to tell you I'm not gonna act in your little film?
03:56But it's for school.
03:58I need to capture a day in the life of our family.
04:01It's gonna be the last day of your life.
04:02You keep giving me direction, I get.
04:05Perfect.
04:08Hey, honey, where's Jordan?
04:09Oh, I got him in the room.
04:10I gave him another list of words for a spelling bee.
04:12Don't you think you need to call him for dinner?
04:14I'll bring him a play.
04:15He'll be all right.
04:16Honey.
04:16It's like he's in training.
04:17But he's not a boxer.
04:19Hey, you don't know nothing about this.
04:20But he's been eating junk.
04:21He needs some food.
04:22I took him.
04:23Don't worry.
04:23This is good.
04:25What are you talking about?
04:29Oh.
04:30Is that thing on?
04:32It's always on.
04:35Oops.
04:36I dropped my fork.
04:40Aw, Wanda, come on now.
04:42It's for a bunch of 15-year-olds.
04:44Quit being so doggone vain.
04:45I am not being vain.
04:48I am not being vain.
04:52Baby, I ain't never seen a bunch of geeks and losers like that before in my life.
04:58Onomatopoeia.
04:59O-N-O-M-A.
05:02It's gonna be between Jordan and the Indian boy, watch and see.
05:05Jordan will have to gut him like a fish.
05:07Sanjay's his friend.
05:08Ain't no friend than spelling, baby.
05:11Quiet, doll.
05:17As most of you know, this is an exhibition, B.
05:21Tomorrow, we spell against another school and God willing, we'll smite our foes with a righteous anger of avenging angels.
05:28So look out, little sisters of the poor.
05:33Now let's have fun.
05:36This is it, America.
05:37The moment of truth.
05:39That boy's about to take center stage and become our spelling legend.
05:43Almost makes up for that rhythm missing there, doesn't it?
05:47Well, the next contestant, please step to the microphone.
05:52Your word, young Jordan, is nickel.
05:58As in, I wouldn't give a nickel for St. Angelo's chances of winning this year.
06:03Nickel?
06:04Why are you giving them a five-cent word like that with that boy's talent?
06:13Jordan.
06:15Nickel.
06:17N-I-C-K.
06:22What's wrong with him?
06:27Don't forsake us now, son.
06:37Jordan.
06:38Come in.
06:40Jordan?
06:41You all right, boy?
06:43Did I win?
06:45No, you're pumped out. What happened?
06:46I don't know. Right when I saw the audience, everything got blurry, my mouth got dry.
06:52I can feel my heart in my head.
06:54I think I had a heart attack.
06:55You did.
06:58That was no heart attack, America.
07:00Oh, no. That was classic stage fright.
07:03Okay, I might not have been much of a speller, but getting in front of an audience, that's my specialty.
07:09Not only would I see that boy through the stage fright, I'd have him spell in the pants all those
07:13poor little sisters in no time.
07:15Well, you know what I mean.
07:17It was all Sister Mary Elizabeth shoes. She's humming real nice, and Sister Mary Catherine, she's not hers.
07:27Nice.
07:33You okay?
07:34I guess.
07:38Look here, son. I know you were scared up there.
07:43Shoot, when I was your age, I had it worse than you.
07:46Whenever I had to go speak in front of the whole class, boy, the fear had me so much was
07:50just throw up.
07:51I didn't throw up until after.
07:54I know. All in my truck.
07:58Well, anyway, I remember one time I had to speak in front of the whole class, George.
08:02I was so scared, man, I had to do a thing on Booker T. Washington.
08:07The fear had me so bad, I accidentally said Booker T. Washington.
08:11Yeah, that's what the whole class did. They laughed, too.
08:15That's what got me through the fear. The laugh. Next thing you know, it was all gone.
08:19Well, because you said Booker?
08:21No, because of the laugh. The laugh got me through the fear.
08:26And see, that's what you got to do, son. You got to find out what works for you.
08:31Because, Jordan, you got a gift. And you can't let it go to waste.
08:36Okay, I'll try.
08:38That's my man.
08:44Aunt Wanda, have you seen my...
08:48What are you doing?
08:49Just cooking dinner.
08:50Oh, that's right.
08:52You're filming a day in the life for your school, aren't you?
08:55Well, don't mind me.
08:58I can't use this.
09:00What do you mean you can't use this?
09:02But...
09:05Sanjay, the word is milieu.
09:09Milieu.
09:10M-I-L-I-E-U.
09:15M-I-L-I-E-U.
09:16Milieu.
09:20I enjoyed spelling milieu for you very much.
09:23Anybody ask you that?
09:24That's the joy.
09:37Come on now, boy. Keep it together.
09:39Be the word.
09:51Jordan.
09:52The word is...
09:53Booger!
09:57Uh, I'm sorry, son.
09:58I almost thought you said the word.
10:00Booger!
10:01B-O-O-G-E-R.
10:06Booger!
10:12The word is cataclysmic.
10:17As in, if you make a mockery of these proceedings again,
10:22the pain you suffer will be cataclysmic.
10:27Cataclysmic.
10:28C-A-T-A-C-L-Y-S-M-I-C.
10:35Cataclysmic.
10:48Hey.
10:49Feel good to win, doesn't it?
10:51Feels great.
10:53At first I thought I was having another heart attack.
10:55But then when everybody laughed,
10:56suddenly I wasn't scared anymore.
10:58I just felt like spelling.
10:59Imagine that.
11:00The same thing that got you over your stage
11:02tried the same thing that got me over mine.
11:05Guess what?
11:06We are just alike.
11:09Yeah.
11:10I really liked it when they laughed.
11:12Now I know why you do what you do.
11:13Oh, it's a good feeling.
11:16Now get you some rest,
11:17because you got St. Angelo coming up.
11:19Chap.
11:21Jordan got confidence, America.
11:24See?
11:25Laughter is the best medicine.
11:27And with that confidence,
11:28he's gonna spell defeat for St. Angelo.
11:31I can't wait.
11:34Jordan!
11:34Shake a leg!
11:36You arrived here!
11:37Can't see you later, Uncle Barney.
11:38You sure will.
11:39At 4 o'clock, I'll be there front and center.
11:42Be where?
11:42At the spelling bee.
11:44I'm gonna watch you be St. Angelo.
11:46Watch you spell words so hard,
11:48you just won't even know if you're right.
11:49Nah, I'm not doing any more spelling bees.
11:51Hey, hey, hey, hey, hold on.
11:52What you talking about?
11:53If you win tonight, you'd be at the regionals.
11:55Stone's too boring.
11:56Besides, I won't have time.
11:58I've put all my energy into my true gift.
12:01Comedy!
12:02I'm gonna be an entertainer just like you!
12:04Jordan!
12:05Jordan!
12:11What am I supposed to do, America?
12:14Now, the boy thinks he's funny.
12:15And you know he's not.
12:17But how do you tell a kid he ain't funny without shattering his confidence, huh?
12:21You tell me, America.
12:27I got a hand like a foot.
12:30Now, that's funny, huh?
12:32Tough table, man.
12:33Tough table.
12:33Hey, everybody!
12:34Check this out.
12:35I've been working on my act.
12:37No, Jordan.
12:38Not now.
12:38Not now.
12:39No.
12:39Come on, Uncle Brady.
12:40Let me liven up the room.
12:41Listen to that fool, America.
12:43I'm trying to save him.
12:44My boy's a rough crowd, I'm telling you.
12:46And he started telling jokes.
12:48You know what I don't get?
12:49Why do you call it a glove compartment?
12:51Oh, Lord, he started.
12:52Excuse me, America.
12:53Excuse me.
12:54I mean, did anybody ever see gloves in the glove compartment?
12:57I don't get it.
12:59Oh, come on, big man.
13:00You know what I'm talking about.
13:01Whoa, whoa, whoa.
13:03Jordan, Jordan, I'm not gonna tell you again.
13:04Okay, go hit the sheets, man.
13:06Oh, I got a quick question.
13:07Why is Donald Duck wearing a jacket?
13:09Duck feathers keep me warm.
13:10I don't get it.
13:13Jordan, I'm not gonna tell you again.
13:15Okay, but my sister's room is so messy,
13:18when she cleaned it, she found Jimmy Hoffa.
13:21What'd you know about Jimmy Hoffa, little man?
13:23Nothing.
13:23It just says on the card it's supposed to be funny.
13:25You've been a great audience.
13:26Good night.
13:30I thought it was kind of funny, man.
13:31You would.
13:35I'll give you something to cry about.
13:37I'll give you something to cry about.
13:39I'll give you something to cry about.
13:41I'm telling you, they won't be able to find your head.
13:44I'm telling you, they won't be able to find your head.
13:48I thought I heard my voice in here.
13:50There's nothing here.
13:51I'm gonna get an F.
13:52I don't see how.
13:54You have that dog on camera all day and night.
13:56But I can't use any of it.
13:58You're always screaming at me to turn the camera off.
14:00Wanda will only let me shoot it from the left side,
14:03and Jordan's either passed out or telling stupid jokes.
14:06It's like a horror movie.
14:08Yeah, well, we're the only family you got.
14:11Love it or leave it, dealer's choice.
14:18I'll give you something to cry about.
14:20I'm telling you, they won't be able to find your head.
14:28Jordan, you just can't jump from one thing to the next.
14:31Now, you're a pretty good speller.
14:33Plus, I don't know about this comedy thing.
14:35I don't know if it's good for you, man.
14:36Because of your friends?
14:38Honestly, I was a burning dirt dead audience.
14:40But check this out.
14:41Check this out.
14:43This boy here is something.
14:46What is this?
14:47It's a flyer for the school talent show I entered.
14:50You getting ready to do your whole hat?
14:52Yeah.
14:53In front of the whole school?
14:55Yeah.
14:56No, no, no.
14:57You can't do that.
14:58Here.
14:58No.
14:59How come?
14:59Because I said so, Jordan.
15:01Now, I want you to go to your room.
15:02I want you to study your spelling word for the spelling bee competition.
15:05Now, get it.
15:08Phone.
15:09I'm trying to spare the boy.
15:10You know how cruel kids can be.
15:13His friends are ten.
15:15They might think he's funny.
15:16And I think you're the one that's being cruel.
15:19Cruel to be kind, baby.
15:21Cruel to be kind.
15:22When he find out how not funny he is, he won't be able to spell anymore.
15:25He already quit the team.
15:27I got him running quitting.
15:31So, you made him do what he doesn't want,
15:34but you won't let him do what he wants.
15:36Cruel to be kind, baby.
15:38Cruel to be kind.
15:40Well, this isn't exactly the movie I set out to make,
15:44but like my teacher says, the camera never lies.
15:47Okay.
15:48So, this film is dedicated to you, Uncle Bernie.
15:51Aw.
15:52Aw.
15:53So nice.
15:54I told you she'd change.
15:56Get away from the project.
15:57No.
15:58No.
16:00Damn.
16:01Who's feet is that?
16:05That's me.
16:08Let's get that camera out of my face.
16:12Oh.
16:13Oh.
16:14Oh.
16:14No.
16:15Right.
16:15No.
16:20No.
16:26We are not asking you.
16:27We're not asking you.
16:27I'm scared of white people.
16:30No!
16:33No!
16:37No!
16:38No!
16:39No!
16:40No!
16:41No!
16:42No!
16:46That's Loretta Young.
16:53There's nothing in here.
16:57Who am I going to eat?
16:59Mmm, this one looks tasty.
17:02No, no, please don't eat me.
17:05Uh, uh.
17:19That girl made a monster movie out of me, America.
17:22I'm not a Bigfoot, I'm a man.
17:24I'm just, I'm a good man, too.
17:25I'm telling you, they won't be able to find you here.
17:29Okay, America, that wasn't very nice.
17:30I admit that.
17:31Ogre.
17:32O-G-R-E.
17:34Ogre.
17:35Which one is worse, America, ogre or Bigfoot?
17:38America, I'm telling you, this is some bull.
17:41Trying to do the right thing doesn't make me a Bigfoot.
17:44I'm just trying to help the boy out.
17:45Keep him from making a damn fool of himself.
17:48Okay, but hey, if he wants to go out there and stink it up, then fine.
17:54I'll be out there front and center.
17:56And finally, the laughing cougar bird from Australia.
18:00Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
18:02Brrr!
18:08Thank you, Michelle.
18:10Bird calls always remind me of spring.
18:15Okay, our next act has written his own introduction.
18:19If you like the rubber vomit placed outside Sister Mary's math class,
18:23then you're going to love the comic stylings of Jordan Pull My Finger Tompkins.
18:27My toes.
18:29I don't understand that.
18:31Hey, how y'all doing?
18:33Um, you know what I can get?
18:35How come there's never any gloves in the glove compartment?
18:39I don't get it.
18:42Oh, thank you for that.
18:44And what about tater tots?
18:46I mean, what part of the tater are those things from, huh?
18:49I don't get it.
18:51That's funny.
18:52What?
18:52This looks like a young crowd, though.
18:54I've got X-Men underwear older than some of you.
18:58You know.
18:59Honey, he's horrible.
19:00You the one told me to do it.
19:02Why do I know?
19:02You're the professional.
19:04What is this, an audience or a picture?
19:07I can't handle it no more.
19:08I can't handle it.
19:15Have you ever noticed when you're driving on the road and you see a white car with a blue
19:22door or a red car with a blue door, but you never see a blue car with no door?
19:29That's hilarious.
19:30I don't get it.
19:33Do you get it?
19:36Knock, knock.
19:37Who's there?
19:39It's Bernie Mac in the house.
19:40Hey, how you doing?
19:43Father, sisters, good evening.
19:45I'll tell you something I don't get.
19:47Look at that.
19:47You got Sister Mary Elizabeth, Sister Mary Frances, Sister Mary Connors.
19:51They got the same name.
19:53They wear the same clothes and they're married to the same man.
19:56I'll tell you something I don't get, Joy.
19:58Confession.
19:59Why do you all confess your sins to the meanest man in school?
20:02Tell all your business.
20:03I just don't get it.
20:05I don't get it?
20:07And you never will.
20:08Here go a confession for you, Father Cronin.
20:10I parked in your space.
20:13I don't get it.
20:15Extra stage left.
20:25Hey, man.
20:26You hear him writing some new jokes for your comedy?
20:28Because if you're serious about it, I can give you some pointers.
20:30What?
20:31No.
20:31I sent bigs out there.
20:33Except for the glove compartment joke.
20:35That was a little too smart for the room.
20:37Okay.
20:38Anyway, I'm going back to studying for the regionals.
20:41Comedy is hard.
20:42It sure is.
20:43But you make it look so easy.
20:45You make spelling look easy.
20:47Baby, everybody got their own gift, Joy.
20:49You understand?
20:50Yeah.
20:51The team kicked St.
20:52Angelo's butt.
20:54Sanjay was on fire.
20:56But he did get lucky.
20:57He got the word Tandoori.
21:00Sanjay.
21:01Anyway, if you're not busy tomorrow, maybe you can come down and...
21:04I'd be down there front center, man.
21:06Front center.
21:10Epiphany.
21:11E-P-I-P-H-A-N-Y.
21:15Epiphany.
21:17Polysoap.
21:20Go ahead.
21:22Well, this isn't exactly the movie I set out to make.
21:26But like my teacher always says, I don't know what she says.
21:34It's been so long.
21:37Joy, Joy, Joy, you all right?
21:41I'm fired.
21:47I just slipped.
21:48You don't need being in me.
21:51You don't need to be in me.
21:53You don't need to be in me.
21:56You don't need to be in me.
21:58You don't need to be in me.
21:58You don't need to be in me.
Comments