The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Who you with?
00:21Jordan, honey, why aren't you dressed?
00:24I have to take inventory and all my candy.
00:25Yeah, you just got all this candy this afternoon,
00:28and you've already taken inventory three times.
00:30Father Cronin says we're responsible for every bar we take.
00:34Aunt Wanda, do I have to go to this movie?
00:36Yes, and you should be grateful.
00:38Most kids don't get to go to movie premieres.
00:40Uh, Bernie? Can you get Brianna, honey? It's time to go.
00:43But I don't even like Drew B.
00:45And I was supposed to babysit for the Wexlers.
00:47Well, I'm sure the Wexlers will understand.
00:49Okay, there you go. Now, put on your jacket. It's time to go.
00:54What's all this?
00:55We're having a candy drive to raise money for the school.
01:00Hey, this candy's for paying customers. Hands off.
01:04Whatever. I don't even want any of your stupid candy.
01:07Really?
01:08I thought stupid candy was the only kind you ate.
01:11And that's why you're so stupid.
01:15Excuse me.
01:18Have you all had a chance to meet this beautiful little princess?
01:21Oh, my goodness. Look at you, sweetie. Let me get a picture.
01:26My teacher says I can tell the whole class about the movie tomorrow because I'm the first one to see
01:32it.
01:32Can we leave now? I want to get a good seat.
01:36Okay, one sec. Let me get a photo.
01:38Say, Drew B.
01:40Drew B.
01:43Drew B.
01:44Wow.
01:45America, meet Drew B.
01:47Drew B, say hello to America.
01:49See, baby girl loves Drew B.
01:52She got Drew B lunchbox, Drew B coloring books, Drew B stickers, Drew B board game.
01:57She even got Drew B little drawers.
02:00Look, play like they all shy.
02:04I'm telling you, America, baby girl can't get enough of Drew B.
02:06That's why Honka Bernie took the role of the evil wizard in the new Drew B movie.
02:11Now, that's not my normal kind of movie that I do.
02:13But tonight, when we go to that premiere and I see the smile on that little girl's face,
02:18it's gonna light up the whole theater. Am I right, Drew?
02:28America, I don't care for his dancing, but he breaks on me.
02:33Gotta be a white guy in there.
02:35Let's see.
02:37Drew B percolator.
02:39James Brown.
02:41Twine time.
02:43Boogaloo.
02:46America, Drew B might be mixed.
02:51On my daddy's side.
02:57I mean, that's the good part.
02:58I get to release my evil army of warthogs on Drew B little village.
03:02Yeah, I know. I'm watching it too.
03:04Mm-mm.
03:07Excuse me.
03:09I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to keep your son in his seat.
03:12He just went to the restroom.
03:13Actually, ma'am, he's been going up and down the aisles trying to sell candy.
03:17And they're giving it away because it's the premiere.
03:19How am I supposed to compete with that?
03:21Shh.
03:22He's been very disruptive.
03:23Sit your little self down.
03:25Finally, I will destroy Drew B in his little village.
03:30Once he's out of the way, there will be no end to my power.
03:34I shall reign supreme!
03:38Can we leave now?
03:40Baby girl, the movie's not over yet.
03:42I don't care.
03:43Sweetie, don't you want to finish your popcorn?
03:44No, I want to go home.
03:46Please?
03:48Shh.
03:49I'm sorry.
03:51Baby girl, let's just stay a little more and see what happens to Drew B in his village, okay?
03:54No, I want to go home!
03:56Shh.
03:56Shh.
04:00I hate that.
04:01Just sit down.
04:03Hey.
04:04You're running now.
04:09I'm running.
04:12I'm coming, babe.
04:13I'm coming.
04:16I'm coming.
04:22I'll see you then.
04:24I'm all in your business.
04:25Who was that?
04:26Oh, Mrs. Lexer.
04:28She wants me to babysit again Friday night.
04:30See?
04:31I told you it would work out.
04:33Yeah.
04:33So, what are you doing with the money you're getting from babysitting?
04:36Save it, I guess.
04:37So, how much do you have so far?
04:39$135.
04:40That's a nice chunk of money.
04:42I'm impressed.
04:43Well, maybe we should open up a bank account.
04:45Okay.
04:48Uncle Bernie, did you take some of my candy?
04:50What, you accusing me of a boy?
04:52You calling me a crook?
04:53Well, I found this on your desk.
04:56What you doing snooping around my desk for, Jordan?
04:59I like my privacy.
05:00Remember that.
05:01How you like me to come snooping under your mattress for your Mademoiselle magazine you be reading?
05:05Yeah.
05:06Nobody didn't know it, did you?
05:08Look here, boy.
05:09I was going to pay you money.
05:10I just couldn't find you at the time.
05:12That's it.
05:12From now on, I'm keeping my candy right here where I can see it.
05:16What you tripping for, man?
05:17Take your doggone money.
05:18I ain't got to go with this.
05:19Here.
05:20The candy ain't all that, either.
05:25Hey, baby girl.
05:26You brush your teeth?
05:28Good.
05:29Come on, let's say our prayers and I'll tuck you in.
05:32No.
05:32I want Aunt Wanda.
05:34What?
05:46She's mad at you for being mean to Druby.
05:49That's why we had to leave.
05:51Hey, baby, it's just a movie.
05:54I know, honey, but sometimes kids have a problem trying to figure out what's real or not.
06:05Parenting is harder, man, but Bernie Mac has it harder.
06:09See, you all got it easy.
06:10All you got to do is watch your language, make sure the little ones don't hear you when you're in
06:14the bed with a little bump and grind.
06:15But I got to worry about the roles I take.
06:18I did this for baby girl.
06:20Now baby girl won't talk to me.
06:22Damn, America, look at me.
06:23I'm suffering for my art.
06:31Hey, baby girl.
06:33So what you gonna tell your friends about the movie, huh?
06:37Baby girl.
06:42It wouldn't be good for either of us if I told you what she said.
06:47And if anybody asks her, she says she's gonna say it was bad.
06:54She already knows that.
06:56What?
06:56Well, what'd she say?
06:57She's not talking to you.
07:01Baby girl.
07:03Oh, I'm sorry, Uncle Bernie.
07:05You must feel terrible.
07:06I do.
07:08You know what might cheer you up?
07:10What?
07:11Buying some candy.
07:13Oh, yeah.
07:15Here we go.
07:16Full page out of the Drew B movie.
07:18Look at that.
07:21Looked good.
07:22Yeah.
07:23The studio's really behind this one, B.
07:24I'm telling you.
07:25It tested through the roof.
07:27I wonder if Greg's seen this.
07:30Greg who?
07:30What?
07:31Greg.
07:32Greg Marshall.
07:33Drew B.
07:34I signed him.
07:36You never told me that.
07:38Yes, I did, dog.
07:39We had that conversation.
07:41We had that conversa-
07:42We had the conversation, Bernie.
07:43Don't you remember-
07:44No, no, no.
07:44Three and a half weeks ago, don't you remember when you were shooting and I had to cancel lunch on
07:47you?
07:48Oh, yeah.
07:49Yeah, I had to cancel lunch because I had to take lunch with Greg.
07:52Went to Nobu.
07:53Spent like $800.
07:54It was awesome.
07:54You canceled lunch?
07:55Hold on a second.
07:56Hello?
07:57Hello?
07:58Hello?
07:59You see, I can't even get a signal in your place.
08:02Are your walls made of lead?
08:03Jerry, you gotta wear that thing right now.
08:04I'm trying to talk to you.
08:05Okay, big papa.
08:06Big papa.
08:07If I'm not in touch, then you're not in touch.
08:10It's annoying, Jerry.
08:11Okay, so fine.
08:12I'm an annoying guy.
08:13Okay?
08:14What the hell were we just talking about?
08:17Jerry.
08:18Can you get Greg to come over here?
08:20Yes.
08:20Done.
08:21Absolutely.
08:21He loves you.
08:22Wait.
08:22Hello?
08:22Hello?
08:23Hello?
08:24Here we go again.
08:25Hello?
08:25Jerry.
08:26I can't take this.
08:27I'm like living in Liberace's compound.
08:28Hello?
08:30Hello?
08:32See, if Brianna can see that Druby and her Uncle Bernie are friends, then she won't be mad
08:36at me anymore.
08:37So Druby will come over to the house and the two of us appell around like friends do.
08:42Maybe watch a ball game.
08:43And I can get that little girl her fantasy back.
08:47It'll all work out nice.
08:50Real nice.
08:52Well, children, here are the latest numbers on the candy drive.
08:57Now, as you can see, some of you have some catching up to do if you're going to win
09:01that bike.
09:08Beware of a man with the candy in his hand.
09:15Beware of a man with the candy in his hand.
09:31Beware of a man with the candy in his hand.
09:40Beware of a man with the candy in his hand.
09:50This doesn't make any sense.
09:53I'll tell you what don't make any sense.
09:55You watching this television?
09:57No.
09:58You best cut it off, baby.
10:02What's going on?
10:03I got my bank statements.
10:05Mom wanted it to me to open up an account, but now there's $25 less than when I opened
10:10it.
10:14Let me see.
10:17Oh, okay.
10:18Free checking.
10:19That cost you $10 right there.
10:21That's not fair.
10:23Let me break it down like a fraction.
10:26See, going to the bank is like going to a loan shark.
10:29Only difference is you get a chance to sit down.
10:32I'm not sure I know what you mean.
10:34See, baby, the money that you put in the bank, they're going to lend to a sucker.
10:39Okay?
10:39They're going to charge him interest.
10:41And the money that that sucker pays back, you're going to get a tiny, tiny piece of the money
10:46that the bank made for lending that sucker your money.
10:48But doesn't that make me a sucker?
10:52You're a bright girl, Nessa.
10:55Lollipop.
11:01This is some boo.
11:04well boys and girls the candy drive was a huge success but now it is time to
11:11announce the winner the person who sold the most candy and is going to get the
11:16new BMX bike and that person is Jordan Tompkins
11:35not only did you win the contest but you've also been named king of the school
11:48my lord arise my family actually uncle Bernie you stay down
11:59it's great to be seen I gotta stop eating this chocolate gives me really weird dreams
12:12am I in trouble all I know is uncle Bernie wants to see you right away okay open your eyes
12:22Druby hello Druby I'm Wanda nice to meet you I wanted you to come by so you can see baby
12:31girl we're still good friends right Druby I think Druby likes your uncle Bernie an
12:36awful lot so you're not mad at uncle Bernie for being mean to you no no it's not mad and
12:43all that
12:44stuff you saw in the movie just made believe it's acting that's my job it's not real so do you
12:50understand that now sweetie yeah hey Wanda the way he dance dance kind of slower
13:06and Tony who is that I don't know I thank you so much man I told you he was white
13:20hey Bernie man
13:22help me out of this thing no no man no problem no problem I really need a smoke one spark
13:27and this
13:27thing will go up like a freaking torch oh hey Jerry tell me man you're doing so well in this
13:32thing huh
13:32who knew me six months ago I was delivering bottled water and now I'm one of the top ten recognizable
13:39cartoon characters in the world it is nuts oh you don't say oh you want to hear the weird thing
13:45mm-hmm
13:45the women man the women I meet so many women now what I can't tell you who but one of
13:52them
13:53actually wanted me to leave the costume on when we you know no no I was like damn who who
14:02was it
14:02all right it was Christina Applegate I figured mm-hmm and the money I mean the money is like
14:09ridiculous and this dragon is a cash cow well look at that I'm gonna help you carry this stuff to
14:13the
14:13cop can you tell me some more yeah yeah yeah sure that's perfect mix I really got a motor I
14:18got a
14:18Pilates class at 430 is that right yeah the black women into this stuff tail in there get your head
14:35baby girl it's not the way it looks baby girl
14:43America I ain't no droopy killer and I can't have baby girl thinking I am
14:47I need to get droopy back here so I got my man Jerry on the phone setting it up hold
14:51on a minute
14:51yeah yeah yeah I'm here say what uh-huh uh-huh you're okay guess what droopy too busy to see
15:06me
15:06Jerry's ain't doing a commercial and his schedule is real tight oh I see man walking around in a
15:12first suit in the giant head ain't got no time for burning man well that's okay cause if droopy
15:17won't come to me then I got to go to droopy y'all hey baby girl don't you want to
15:22ride up from it's
15:23your uncle Bernie shall we kill him you want to stay single don't you hi father how are you doing
15:35today
15:37who are you who am I isn't important thing is I have this friend so tell me about this friend
15:44he was
15:45selling candy for the candy drive and it hasn't been going too good there is no setting that yeah but
15:53he
15:53got sort of frustrated and he sort of ate more candy than he sold how much more a lot it
16:02doesn't
16:03really have any money of his own so he was just wondering how big of a deal it would be
16:08if he kind
16:10of didn't pay you guys back are you telling me your friend plans to steal from the Holly Church yeah
16:16it
16:16wouldn't be a big deal well my little plastic mom I tell your friend that as bad as his punishment
16:26would be in this world for the abomination he has committed it would be nothing compared to that
16:32which would wait for him in the hereafter doomed to spend his eternity in the fiery depths of hell
16:40wherein he would wail and nosh his teeth oh I'm sorry what was that last part again wherein he would
16:50wail and nosh his teeth that doesn't sound good candy bar no candy we sell this candy to make money
17:06to
17:06sport after-school programs for underprivileged kids these programs keep us off the streets out
17:11of gangs and away from drugs ten dollars thank you very much
17:21that'd be extra quiet baby girl while rehearsal okay
17:24run drooby my uncle bunny's gonna kill you again hey hey hey hey hey what the hell is going on
17:31here
17:32people no I am trying to work here okay and it gets hot inside this stinking drooby head
17:41oh hey there Brianna you're drooby
17:50so by selling these candy bars I'm hoping to avoid a dead-end life of drugs and violence
17:55how much are they four dollars okay I'll take one great that's all I got left
18:04hey how come it says two dollars oh that's a misprint being underprivileged we can't afford
18:09to buy the really nice candy wrappers these were wrapped in China have a nice day
18:17why are you working our side of the street who me no I was just going home you aren't going
18:22anywhere four eyes hand over the money but how about we just head over to all those after-school
18:27programs that keep you off the street and out of gangs and away from drugs what size sneaker do you
18:33wear why they stole your shoes and all my money well sweetie it's an unfortunate lesson but what
18:45made you think you could sell candy to people for double its cost had to make up for what I
18:50ate
18:50father Cronin said if I didn't I was gonna go to the fiery pits of hell and I'd wail and
18:56gnash my teeth
18:58well I think he just said that to scare you but why take the chance just take me to the
19:05comic book
19:06store I'm gonna sell my Avenger number 18 to pay back to school okay I'll go get my keys
19:18you want me to write you a check would you yeah you could pay me back with interest you're gonna
19:27make me pay interest I'm your brother let me break it down Jordan I'm the bank and you're the sucker
19:36here that's crazy not for me but with my allowance it'll take me a thousand years to pay you back
19:43and sell your comic book you're evil no I'm a capitalist
20:07no baby girl yes but the love that you have for him never gonna change no matter what just like
20:14the love your uncle wouldn't have for you never want you what about sandal pops and the tooth bear
20:19and the easter bunny are they not real too sweetheart they're as real as you want them to be right
20:28inside here you understand yeah give me some ice cream kids grow up in ways you can't plan on America
20:38little Dorothy she pour that curtain and see there's no wizard it's just a man she grows up right there
20:46right in front of your eyes a tiny bit of little girl she used to be kind of fades away
20:51Ronda's growing
20:53up there ain't no denying it won't be long before she's out of the house off to college her room
20:59will be
21:00empty all that space I don't know I'm gonna feel it pool table sweet regulation size that's corner pocket
21:28nice and gentle you might be mixed try to give me some tail back in the day
21:47I'm sorry we're off
Comments